Holy shit I was nearly killed by my GF's dad
>Be scrawny betafag, 2/10
>playing tri force heroes on 3ds in high school
>qt asian girl walks up, 7/10, notices me playing zelda
>she actually fucking talks to me
>turns out she's a huge nintendo fan too, and she mentions having a wii u with wind waker hd on it at her place
>one week later, I go to her house
>"be careful anon, my dads a tough guy, and he's really overprotective"
>I open the door am suddenly greeted with... a 6'3 giant black man
>holy fuck
>pic related, dads face
> dude welcomes me inside and gives me a firm handshake
>did I say firm handshake? He gave me a handshake the same way T-rex gives a hickey
>i manage to tear my mangled hand out of his herculean grip
>is still throbbing as i type this
>GF runs upstairs to get wii u ready
>father picks me up by my shirt when she leaves
>"you hurt my daughter, I kill you"
>drops me like a sack of potatoes
>deepregret.jpg
>later, eating dinner with dad and GF after playing wii u
>dad serves some kind of spaghetti thing with spices
>dad gives whole "what are your intentions with my daughter" bullshit
>literally all i think as i stare at my plate is "Never Forgetti"
>fuckmemes
>dad notices my silence and gives me a Medusa stare
>i look away
>playing more video games later, upstairs
>GF leans close
>ahhh yes sexy tiem
>"anon, I was kidnapped"
>youfuckingwhat
>"the guy downstairs is not my dad, he's a dangerous veteran keeping me as a slave"
>"he nearly joined the marines"
>John Cena joke?
>fuck you
>Im terrified, no way to call the cops and not get killed, if this madman sees sirens he'll murder my ass
>I decide that we should try to get out of the house
>she agrees
>we carefully open the door leading to the stairs
>>24788277
>just looking at a 6'3 black man almost killed you
damn, you really are a betafag
>the "dad" is standing right there
>OH FUCK
>he grabs me by the collar and drags me downstairs, gf is screaming, her dog is barking like crazy
>dude drags me outback
>did I mention they live on a fucking farm?
>nowhere to go.jpg
>dog stops barking and looks at me blankly
>mansbestfriendmywartyass.jpg
>"dad" looks me in the eyes
>"you are a bitch, and im gonna kill your scrawny ass"
>or something like that. I was scared, mmkay?
>dude grabs a shovel
>I shout out some bullshit anime line, something like "I wont let you hurt her!"
>man looks at me critically
>"what the fuck are you going to do?"
>"anything it takes!"
>man stares at me, and stares, then he starts cracking up
>he says: "read the first letter of every sentence"
>just kidding, I wouldnt do you like that
>he actually says: "you fucking goofball idiot, come 'ere"
>gives me a hug
>daughter walks out
>she's laughing too
>I feel betrayed as fuck. This was a prank
>dad explains "lots of guys just want my daughter for bad reasons, but you actually care about her, so you have my blessing."
>"even if you are ugly as fuck."
>GF and dad laugh together
>I start nervously laughing too, until I see something
>a patch of white skin on the dads neck
>"YOU CAN'T FOOL ME" I say as I rip off his human flesh-mask, revealing John Cena
>John Cena murders his daughter
>we fuck
>fuck you
>but also have a merry christmas
>but also fuck you
>>24788332
cancer
kill yourself
>>24788332
i knew this was fake as soon as OP said he had a gf
what the fuck was this shit lmao
OP, are you in 8th grade or something?
underage b&
>no mute pls
>>24788591
this tbtbtbtbtbh
>>24788387
JUST KEEP COMIN JESUS YER THE BEST DRESS
YOU LOOK DANDY IN THE SKY
BUT U DONT SCARE ME CUZ I GOT U HERE IN MY EYE
best album ever
what the fuck is this reddit tier bullshit doing on r9k
