I often wonder why I wake up every morning and bother to do what it is I do.
I get up and drive to work at a shitty little company. I don't enjoy it; I hate the bossman, some of the co-workers; I hate the work, on account of its repetitive, boring, and unskilled nature - I hate the shitty wage I earn ($9.50/hr). Worse, I hate that I have a uni degree, but couldn't find anything, much less a job in the field I wanted to enter.
I don't have any friends, or anyone to interact with, which would at least entertain me. I live at home with my parents - it's awful. No privacy, no freedom. I have lost most motivation - I don't do anything besides lurk this place and fap to hentai. There's no change in my life - nothing ever happens.
It's terrible, being alive. How's it for you, Robots?
I just made a post about the past years of my work life [>>24623358], but my daily routine is:
>Wake up
>Choose attire from ironed, pre-arranged, professional outfits that I put together on Sunday
>Shower, dress, and ride on the subways, observing people's mannerisms, dress, etc.
>Get to work early enough to have a coffee and something short, but delicious to eat, then head to desk
>Run to court to address matters for clients (sometimes I do it before going to office, sometimes after, sometimes in between office time)
>Utilize the limited hours I have ~10am - 5pm (minus meeting times) to do a notable amount of work for clients
>Go home, look at Facebook, LinkedIn, emails, then browse chans and newssites, mostly sticking to /r9k/
That's it. Not particularly exciting and fairly repetitive, just like your own work. But it's enjoyable enough.
What state do you live in? I get the friends thing. I'd be lying if I said I did not have people who care about me, but I don't feel comfortable calling them friends. Because as my schedule shows, none of them are actively involved in my life. Just people I encountered and kept in touch with. Friends, to me, seems fitting for people you actually spend time with, not just care about. I mean, shit, I care about people on /r9k/, but would be deluded to call them friends.
I hate my life and I hate that there's nothing I can do to change it. I told my brother and sister my plan to move to the other side of my country a few months ago. I've been sending out CVs ever since and I'm getting fucking nothing. I didn't care much about getting a girlfriend until I came here. It's only lead to more frustration and self loathing, but at least it gives me some purpose. I drift between fucking misery and happiness, and I hate that I still have to take SSRIs. All I want is an apartment in a city so that I can start working on my art and can start working out, instead of this fucking inbred backwater shit hole I live in at the moment. But no one out there even wants me for the smallest and shittiest of jobs.
So that's my life.
>>24623844
OP here.
At least it sounds like your job is a well-paid one. I hate mine - menial shit, working as a low-end clerk. I don't enjoy it at all - sometimes, I feel I will snap, and rip up all the papers and tell the boss to shove it, and I'll walk out. Do you live alone? Part of the suffering is living with parents. I enjoy being alone - had a taste of it when I was in uni and had a small apartment. I like the solitude.
And to answer your question, I live in TX.
>>24624387
I get the living with family setup. It bothers me too and I'm so glad I'm leaving next month, now that I'm finally in a position where it's financially feasible. But how daunting is reality when if I didn't have a job, I could lose it all again.
Congrats on finishing college and being employed. You know how many people fail after graduating and before finishing, so there's that. Hopefully your current job leads to something greater or you search for other positions while enduring it now, for what it's worth.
>>24624907
>being employed
I'd rather be a NEET than this shitty gig. This clerkship, 'job', it doesn't teach me anything. No skills, nothing I can use to move ahead. My entire resume right now is just lies and embellishment, because what else am I supposed to put? That I entered numbers into a document all day long, every day?
And does $9.50/hr sound anywhere close to decent? Even the drop-outs working in McDonald's earn more than me. I don't get any benefits, no prestige. If I knew this is all I'd gotten after going to uni, I would have never even bothered trying to get good grades in highs school - I'd just have gone to a trade school. Then again, I'm terribly inept at actual hands-on skills, and just as bad with hard science/math.
Finishing university wasn't even a challenge - it was too easy. At first, I wondered if it was just because I'd gone to a shitty (state) school, but then I saw my peers struggling and acting stressed. But I didn't struggle - not particularly. I couldn't even derive pleasure from my good grades back in uni.
They might fire me soon, at that job, I believe. Recently, my motivation has been so low that I hardly get any work done. Each day, I do less and less. Well, we shall see. I've been at that shitty cesspit for some three months now.
girls don't enjoy fucking me and I'm tired all the time
>>24625115
Hmm.
>[People] working in McDonald's earn more than me
Ha. I think the fastfood thing will lead to them making more money than you years from now, assuming you're alluding to the 15.00/hr thing, which is a scheduled increase in pay to happen over time rather than at once. And even then, for that to happen, you'd have to still be making $9.50 a few years from now. I doubt or at least hope that's not the case.
But I get that you're pissed. It's bullshit, to be honest, that you put in all that time (and maybe money/debt) and it has yet to pay off. The position I'm in now was definitely more because of volunteer work, networking, and other work experience than because of my degree. As far as I'm concerned college was more useful for the opportunities than the actual degree. I don't need anything I learned and like you I wasn't challenged, so I feel like I didn't learn much anyway. And no one has ever actually asked me if I have a degree. Knowing this, I almost wonder if it's worthwhile for people to falsely claim having a degree, for the purpose of getting jobs where really, a degree isn't needed. People don't check and unless you're claiming Harvard, Yale, Columbia, or some other big name, who cares?
Hopefully you're not fired any time soon. Least not before finding a better alternative. Like you said, we'll see.
>>24625403
Ah-h-h, there it goes again, that assumption that everybody makes regarding my education.
>The position I'm in now was definitely more because of volunteer work, networking, and other work experience than because of my degree.
But, see, I did do my 'volunteer work', i.e. unpaid internships. I did two: my first as some office assistant for the university's career services department (which was a big deal - tons of paperwork, had to show up every day, in-between classes, etc.), and my second at a department of a city government. All unpaid. I got letters of rec. from both of my supervisors, as well as my professors. Hell, the city even told me they'd have a job once I graduated.
They didn't. Honestly, the internships didn't help me one bit; neither did the letters of rec., nor the good grades, nor the degree. There was a point I was this close to tearing up the degree paper, that's how useless it's been. I always got rejected from jobs - if I was lucky, I'd get one interview, only to be told I wasn't 'selected'.
>finding a better alternative
Fat chance, I only got my current job because my dad knew someone. That's right, I wasn't even good enough for a job paying $9.50/hr, in their eyes.
