>21 year old male.
>a couple of months ago.
>dumped, friends left me, family hates me, piss poor.
>decide its time.
>drinking my self blind on the ledge of my apartment complex.
>more like a roach motel.
>plan is to get so drunk and jump off.
>be sitting on the ledge contemplating life.
>a hour or so passes.
>call mom and thank her for everything she did to me.
>call father and tell him how sorry I am for being a shit son and being a disappointment.
>tell who ever I have left as a friend goodbye, and I won't be able to receive messages or calls for a while.
>sit there some more.....
>some Asian guy and Aussie dude snuck up there, they know what I'm about to do.
>fucking hipsters.png
>they grab me off gaurd, I couldn't resist.
>they take me away from the ledge.
>police been called already, next thing I know I'm in the loony bin.
>forced to stay there for about three weeks
>could've been out earlier if I lied on some questions, what ever.
>its shit in there, I never talked to anyone besides the psychiatrist.
>be out for some while, finally decided to open my phone to see what's new.
>no missed calls.
>no texts.
>nothing.
>nobody gives a shit...
>tfw
>>>>if they wanted you they'd text you
I just want to get this off my chest, if anyone else is reading this, post about your experience with attempted suicide.
Don't be shy anon, we all have been there.
>>29976172
I'll bite.
>18 year old
>Had happy relationship for about 2 years. First time I've really felt happy.
>Break up
>I am ok at the start, but get steadily worse. Progressing into a straight depression
>Go to party where she is, and the new guy she is, who we're both friends with.
>I've talked with both of them and said that I'm ok with them being with each other, but I just want them to not do it while I'm there.
>The party ends with most people sleeping in the same room. They are drunk and I basically lie down and hear the love of my life getting fingerbanged/having sex with someone else.
>At 3/4 in the morning I can't take this shit and get a ride to the station.
>I lie down on the tracks, with my neck over the actual track.
>I text two mutual friends of me and my girlfriend who has helped me through my depression.(Girls, fuck you robots, girls can be really nice).
>They call me and get me to get off the tracks.
>As I get off the tracks I can actually see the train that was going to end me.
>If they had texted or called 5 mins later I'd be dead.
>>29976597
Why do girls have to be so selfish?
>I've been with my ex from 2nd grade to graduation.
>I thought we had something special.
>imaging what's it like to raise children.
>work 3 jobs just so I can afford a fancy condo for me and her.
>I did all I could to make her happy.
>before valentines day she brings it up.
>says its not what it used to be.
>she isn't happy with me anymore.
>tfw she broke up with me for some rich Chad.
>lost focus, lost purpose, lost my jobs.
>move to roach motel
>4 months pass she calls me.
>she wants to make it up for me
>she wanted us to be friends again.
>mfw she used me just to make rich Chad jealous and take her again.
>I had enough and the events previously stated took place
Hope it isn't tl;dr
>>29976172
It's been a long time since I replied to something on R9K. I consider your post to be a relic of what this board used to be.
I'd be lying if I said your greentext made me feel sad; I've seen so many incarnations of stories like this that I've become somewhat numb to them. Still though, I choose to try to care despite not having an immediate emotional reaction anymore. I choose to try to respond to posts like this because I feel like they deserve a response.
I think a lot of us were raised to believe that love is something that you're given for being who you are. That paradigm doesn't work for the most broken members of society who have trouble fitting in. Plenty of people will pity you to satisfy their own ego but it is a form of attention that never lasts. I think that ultimately other people need to respect you in order for them to truly consider you on a consistent basis.
If you aren't funny, aren't handsome and aren't rich it's hard to get people to notice you. Not everyone can be saved but I will say this: You're posting on R9K which does say something about who you are. It means that there's some hope.
You can form coherent sentences. You can use a computer. You frequent a board where a lot of original and clever humor originates; maybe you can emulate some of that humor to make new friends. You reach out to other people for understanding which perhaps means you haven't become completely cold yet.
Occasionally you'll find threads on this board and others where people exchange steam names or Skype IDs where they make friends online. That might be an option for you to get people to care about you. I met a good friend from Germany on a thread similar to this many months ago and we still talk consistently to this day.
>>29976172
This post actually made me cry
>>29976846
I've got an E-friend from turkey, he's a good guy I've known for almost 6 years now, somehow my brain convinced me that I hate him, and he didn't care about me, haven't talked for a while, but when I heard about the shit going on in Turkey I got legit concerned, just caught up with him earlier,
Same can't be said about friend around me, too autistic to call or text, dunno what to do.
I fucking hate mental illnesses.
>>29976916
Thanks for being here, I feel better knowing I impacted someone's day.
this porbably doesn't fit in, but whatever
>used to be half autist conveinced everyone had to do the right thing lways, both in terms of being good to eachother andeven petty things like only listening to "good" music
>puberty kicks in and i try to fit in with people because i want a wife, this was litterally the only reason always hated people for the stuff above and never could fit in because of it
>worst time of my life wth me trying to fit in and hitting the wall hard when i started realizing i couldn't
>finally give it all up and find peace,go back to being a nerd and start giving no fucks about morality, not because i don't believe in it, but because it makes me suffer
>now 5th year of high school is over
>my time of peace has ended i will have to wrok or go to university, no more fucking around for fun all day long,hella scared of my future
>find out father is dying
i finally had it, i was happy with nothing and now everytihng is crumbling, i can't feel free anymore, will be piss poor soon when my father goes away and i don't know what to do.It really feels horrible to lose.
>>29976597
>Girls, fuck you robots, girls can be really nice
leave
>>29976172
>>29976846
>>29976597
Normally I hardly post here but lurk instead. But hearing yous guys stories hurts in a way. The last anon I quoted does help in a way. The fact that you being here doesn't mean you're useless. There's still hope left.
As long as you're still alive there's a chance. And please think, guys.. for every male on this earth, there's statistically two females. Chad is hollow. You guys are full.
>shaking and finally in the zone and on the edge
>making noose with workout rope
>noose is done and i hang the rope in a tree
>problem is the tree is visible and has no step to it
>climb tree and get noose around neck
>jump and tree limb holding the noose breaks
>i fall and smack my head unconcious thinking im finally dead (dreaming it too)
>some asshole and peramedics """"rescue""" me.
>end up in police satyion as i was tresspassing, they must have seen my car- the tree wasnt far either
>neither abusive psychotic mom or dad wanted to see me at all
>still waiting for a heart attack
Maybe ill try drugs, fuck it
>>29977089
its scary that your dad is dying. I'm sorry that is happening
>>29977273
i feel bad saying it, but i don't even feel much about it, like 3 4 years ago he risked death and i cried a lot, but after many things happened i started numbing my emotions and i really don't feel sorry for losing him.It's pretty horrible, but the thing that bothers me the most is the loss of his money.
>be 20
>meet a girl on vidya
>have instantaneous and beautiful connection
>totally head over heels for each other
>she reveals she's 15
>I understand that we can be friends but no hanky panky
>I confess my liking for her over a month
>she feels the same way
>we date online for months
>her parents find out and assume I'm a pedo
>they break communication between us
>tfw the only girl I've ever had a connection with and who I can be comfortable with is probably gone
>tfw afraid she'll go after Chad or Chad will go after her and seduce her
And screw you guys who assume loving an underage girl is weird. You don't know what it's like when girls your own age completely ignore you because you're not Chad.
>>29977333
That is some hardcore shit m8 o_O
>>29977089
There were many times I wished my father wouldn't come back home,
Sometimes I pity him for all he goes through, only for hit to quickly remind me why I hate him so much, I couldn't imagine what it feels like to lose your father,
but I guess you don't know how good something it until its gone...
>>29977348
it's silly that your relations would be legalhere in italy(and almost normal too, though still looked down on by conservative people). For what it's worth i understand half pedos and can agree laws about this are stupid and people who defend them are even more.
>>29977360
well i guess i diserved that one
>>29977364
i am always thankful that at least my parents were decent. The idea of realfucked up parents really disturbs me.
>>29977348
>tfw my great grandmother had been married twice by 15
It's weird how it was normal less than 100 years ago but now 15 is considered pedo
>>29977531
If no one finds out its legal.
Also in Islam its completely fine to marry and bang a 9 year old for what ever reason, but no one does that in the last thousand years, too controversial.
At least where I live no one does it.
>>29976172
Why not start a new life OP? If no one cares, pack it up and head somewhere new.
>>29977670
I assume its because of money
>>29977670
You know, I'd love to start over, but I'm piss broke you see..
I just took my car to the garage yesterday for repairs, I hit an SUV with a pregnant passenger, I'm waiting for results from medical checks and shit to determine what happens to me,
if anything happens to the fetus its going to be my fault,
and I'll probably get fee'd or sued into oblivion.
They might fake someshit anyway and fuck me beyond belief.
I'll probably try to off myself again if that happens.
>>29977348
Divide by two and add seven, Anon. 15 was too young.
>>29976172
>the guys who saved you feel like big time heros and feel good about themselves
The self-importance panther normalshits really frequently upsets me
>>29977751
Jesus man how that happened?
>>29977751
Being homeless , while it sucks, isn't terrible if you are in a large city. If you're on the coasts, pack up what you need, and go be homeless in the city.
>No responsibility
>Cheap food from food trucks and stands
>Shelters
>Tourists constantly give out money
>Buy a year gym membership for showering
>>29977874
>Access local library for free for internet and reading to keep you busy.
>>29977804
Were driving on the highway, some foreigner is speeding and coming from 3rd lane straight into the first.
Patrol officer standing by sees him and steps in front of the woman who's driving in front of me,
She gradually slows down (probably thinking about something) then suddenly slams the breaks.
I not knowing that she's intending to fully stop caught off guard and try to stop the heap of junk I were driving but the breaks physically couldn't stop the car,
I slammed into her rear bumper about 40 KM/h
My front bumper/hood and radiator and other stuff got smashed, meanwhile her car is only scratched a bit.
Foreigner got away guilt free.
Is that why I get for trying to make my sisters happy?
I tried to plan a nice evening in the city centre and buy my younger sister something nice but I couldn't, that's too much to ask for.
All I had left went into repairs.
>>29977874
Ironically I were homeless for a couple of days, I slept in the back of my car at the airport, security guard found me and offered me to spend the night at his post, gave me 20 dollars and his number, told me to call him up if I needed anything in the future.
>faith in humanity partially restored.
>>29977983
That guy sounds like a good person, i would call him when i have money again and return it to him.
>get drunk last night
>decide to call someone to have some sort of company
>call a girl I went out and kissed with two weeks ago to know how she's doing
>no answer
>call my only good friend from uni
>no answer
>call his gf who is also a good friend of mine
>no answer
>didn't check my phone until a few hours ago
>no one called or texted me back
Well it's no different than in person. No one gives a shit about me.
>>29978030
I would do that, some day though, I'm too fucking deep in debt and with an unreliable income its really hard to manage my finances.
>>29978089
Give it some time, getting money is easy over time. Its just kinda stealing your time :/
>>29978150
Wow i just read what ive written, 3 times "time" in 2 scentences. Sounds like shit... Sorry
>>29978177
Haha just noticed that, no biggy, pay day is not that far away, just a bit more...
Most of it is going to rent,
Would it be a smart move to be homeless and just worry about food?
I don't know where my spaghetti will be if one of my """"""""" friends"""""""""" sees me homeless on the street.
I just came back after 3 years to see this place, nostalgia.
Let me tell you my history:
>be normal 8yo kid
>parents working 24/7
>start eatibg a lot to fill the void inside me
>this shit goes on for 11 years
>no friends,no gf,asocial,introverted,ugly,beta,fatfuck,spend all my days on vidya and 4chin, dropped out school
>hate myself for being a failure
>know parents are disappointed
>decide to man up and be more direct and confident
>somewhat this works and i get a 8-9/10 gf (not 4chan tier but actually a fucking 8/10)
>lose v-card , feel happy as fuck
>think she will stay with me
>she dumps me and starts dating one of her friends after 2 months we broke up
>feel shattered, devastated and empty
>"There's no one for you but only yourself"
>"There's no one for you but only yourself"
>"There's no one for you but only yourself... you can't wait to be saved by the hero, YOU ARE THE HERO"
>this phrase comes up to my mind
>"Fuck it all, i will rely on myself"
>start going to gym , eating properly and study again
>focus on the aspects of my life that are fucked up (all) one by one
>after 1 year im chubby but more happy , parents notice the change
>after 2 years i start getting stares from gis , parents are normal and treat me like their son again
>after 3 years im going out a lot , partying and enjoying life
>parents are happy as hell because the failure of a son they had became a person that is confident and works hard for what he wants
>realise that in this life we are all alone and we must survive relying in our own strength
>made a chart for the goals i want to achieve for xmas 2016
>every fucking day i come back home knowing that im pursuing what I WANT and not what other people want me to do.
That's it my fellow robots, i changed my life so you can do it too.
btw i will try to conquer her back NOT as the fatfuck that conquered her the first time but as a strong man that wants to take the prize he deserves.
>>29978243
The good thing about my country is that you will never be homeless, youll always get a small flat and like 400 euros to make a living.
I dont need to rely on that but i its a good feeling to know that inever have to be homeless, just poor.
>>29978256
>Why would anyone come here willingly?
"4chin" made my life shit.
Glad you found a purpose in your life, I wish I could too, I'm living a pointless life right now.
Hope things keep looking up to you.
>>29978412
Wish my country did that, stingey bastards.
Hope refugees don't crash Europe's finance.
Or islamify it.
>have family that cares
>resent them unfairly
>tethered to life from fear of causing more pain than what I am trying to escape
>never ending cognitive dissonance
Literally doesn't matter what happens to me anymore. As soon as my raison d'etre (family) fades I will end it instantly. Until then just coping in whatever way I can.
>>29978519
I live in europe and that will never happen... I do not know why people hate refugees so much.
>>29978581
They're raping innocents in Europe, trying to bring their shitty sharia law as official law enforcement in Europe, assaulting a waitress for serving wine on Ramadan or someshit.
They bring shame in the name of Islam, all Muslims i met and known were respectable decent humans who know where to interfere and where to stay silent.
>>29978568
Why though? You shouldn't be that dependent.
My sister's friend, a morbidly obese girl who just got out of the mental ward for threatening suicide, just had one of her beta orbiters "confess" to her right as she got released.
Just goes to show ya, if you want people to care about ya, you can be mentally ill, but not a mentally ill male.
>>29976172
Same story over, different anon
What if you just decided to leave it all behind and move to a different city instead of kys?
>>29978745
See this
>>29977751
>>29978710
>special snowflake getting special treatment
Why am I not surprised
As everyone says women have it too easy.
>>29978675
Sure there are some really stupid people under them but we had the same situation with turks, and it turned out that they needet some years to really get into how it works here. For all those people who are criminal.. Well we have the police and a nice ship that will bring them home, becasue we do not need them. I will accept anything as long as it will not turn out to damage other people. That is the way i would like to be treatened and that is how i will treat others.
I never met a muslim or an refugee that i would consider beeing someone who should "go home"
>all these attempted """"suicides""""
suicide is a permanent solution for a (usually) temporary problem
needless to say, if you're actually ready to do it, don't just take a bunch of pills or try some faggy diy noose
throw yourself off a tall bridge, in front of a moving train, shoot your self if you have a gun
only people searching for attention who don't need to die attempt and fail a suicide
fucking normies
>>29978812
So true, the people that really want to kill themselfs are/will be dead.
>>29978806
I heard eastern Europe is really nice, do they welcome Aussie fags and foreigner around there?
>>29978812
Reminds me of that woman who cut her wrist on the train attempting """suicide """ literally meme tier,
Normie's shit on everything even ending of someone's existence.
>>29978859
I never went there, i am sorry so i think i cannot awnser your question properly. As far as i know most of the country do not want any refugees.
>Originally from a rundown rural mid west area
>Neighborhood was was basically a ghetto, but not Detroit level ghetto.
>Had to move to East Coast for mother's job 5 years ago
>Area is a rich stuck up liberal community outside of D.C.
>Foreigners from other countries out the ass
>Was in High School at the time we moved
>Only people in my generation were drugged up spics, rich whites trying to be niggers, Allahu Ahkbars, and Indians
>TFW no English speaking friends who don't try to envy thug life you grew up around
>Spend time gaming online with a group, but I was too normie for them, so they cut contact.
>Finally meet some "normal" people Senior year
>After graduation, they asked me if I wanted to hangout at some area
>I said sure, but I asked for the price since I was tight one money
>No replies since then
>That was over a year ago
I would be a normie if I were back where my hometown was. It's like living in another country here, culturally speaking. I don't want to be a shut in /r9k/, but I don't have the money to move, nor would I want to leave my family in the area.
>>29978923
How can someone be "too normie" for online gaming o_O Online games are full of norms.
>>29978923
Nothing prompted "ignore mode"
Why are normies so retarded?
OP I've been close to death 3 times from my own hands and every time I was miraculously saved. You know what I learned from that? Nobody gives one shit if you live or die. It's quite easy to put it in your mind that people will miss you when you're gone and your death is some kind of grand triumphant statement against all the bullshit. It's not. You realize that even people you thought were suppose to care really didn't give a single fuck. They made no effort at all to help you, to prevent it, or to help you afterwards, and most of them wouldn't have even gone to your funeral if you died. And if they did: would it have mattered? Funerals are just a charade for people to be able to draw attention to themselves and use your death as a tool for their own agendas. It's even less about you than a suicide is.
The other thing I realized is even people who claim to have understood you really don't have a clue. I used to think that there were some people who maybe knew me on quite a deep level but I now realize that's impossible simply because the few things that we say are incapable of conveying every facet of what's going on inside a persons head. The result is: the things that you don't matter at all -- like movies or art work you've watched, etc -- things that were probably only relevant to you 8 years ago and may never have even meant anything to you to begin with -- are the ONLY things people will remember you for.
In other words, people construct their own simplistic interpretations of who you are. So essentially, a person is already a fucking ghost long before they hit the ground. If you don't believe me try asking someone who knows you (if you have anyone like that left) how they would describe you to another person. You will be utterly disgusted by the answer because essentially they've already killed who you are while you're still alive. You just never realized it until now. So to summarize: don't kill yourself. It won't accomplish what you think.
>>29978957
The group I was in was basically /r9k/ on autism. They were extremely fun to play with in game, but once it got on the subject of feelings and personal matters, they would react aggressively.
>One of them has troubles picking up chicks.
>I give advice since I have had experience.
>"REEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"
>One has an emotional breakdown.
>Ask me for advice. I'm the only one who can offer support since the others are inept.
>"REEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!"
The things /r9k/ pretends to get mad about, these guys actually got butt-blasted over. It was a poor experience and I haven't found/been looking for another group since.
>>29978957
>o_O
xD
>>29979068
Normie please get out. Get out of here. Get off our board!
>>29977002
Had, you had a great friend from Turkey
>Tfw no one ever fucking responds to my posts
>>29979068
Yeah its a small thread between "just a bit weirf" and completly insane, many people here are assholes (I think that is also a reason why they are here)
But i think there is no reason for that.
I might be an kissless stupid r9k faggot but I hope that i will get that insane.
>>29979166
He's not dead tho, and the coupe aren't shooting civilians for all I know or at least what /pol/ says
>>29979169
Yeah most of my posts also go unnoticed... Maybe i shold learn how to format things right so that people will read it.
>>29979059
Will ending my existence relieve me from this shit fest we call life?
>>29979071
I like the "o_O" thingie.
What is wrong with that?
>>29979232
Not >>29979059
But i guess yes
>>29979223
Sometimes there are so many posts I miss some or I simply don't have anything useful to add.
>>29979253
That could also be a reason.
But its 5:13 am soooo i am probably just shit in writing
>tfw on t9k for over 5h
>>29976172
Are you a shitty kid/friend/person OP??
>>29979280
r9k... but i think you get what i mean now
>>29976172
>tried to kill myself in high school
>parents decided I was a drug addict that OD'd
Rehab was more fun than high school.
>>29979287
I think that he is a person anon
>>29979280
Kek its 6:15 am here
>>29979287
I'm a human bean tho
>>29979307
Anything is more fun than the brainwasherry we call school.
>>29978256
Thanks for this anon. Im gonna screencap it and look at this shit daily to motivate me to escape this hell
>>29979309
thats so helpful man i dont know what else i was thinkingdumbass i know
>>29979372
Combine it with "just do it" from shia labeuf
>>29979407
Why did you ask an autistic question in the first place? For a witty joke or something?
>>29979407
I was just confused beause you wrote "kid/friend/person" wich implies that you did not know...
>>29979349
yeah but would you check up on someone that fucked up your life? assuming you did fuck up someones life
>>29979372
Seriously, your teen days are the best in your life, make the most out of them while you can, have fun with the littlest things while you still can.
>>29976172
God fucking damnit, they have to go and "rescue" us. I fucking hate these normalfags they don't even let you get out of this fucked existence. They keep you here so they can make you suffer.
>>29979449
I write lots of shit when I'm tired.
Excuse me on that.
>>29979349
So eastern europe? I guess
>>29979460
Don't know whether I were blessed or cursed that day, I guess both.
I get to keep my existence but I have to continue living this shitty life
>>29979490
Close, but no cigarino
Originalio commenti amigo
>>29979523
>GET to keep your existence
That's not a positive thing anon, you got so close to paradise and they had to ruin it for you.
>>29976597
>wah I'm so sad
>wah I have plenty of friends and a gf
Fuck off normie. Normies don't understand depression.
Honestly I think encouraging others to suicide is one of the most socially conscious things we can do. Mental illness is no joke and rarely have any legitimate cures and treatment is often expensive and riddled with terrible side effects. End result? An endless life of suffering in which not only you but everyone around you suffers. Mental illness doesn't just poison the self it poisons those that love you most as well.
But it doesn't have to be endless does it? You have the ultimate power. Only YOU. You can end it all and end your pain and save your loved ones from ever having too worry again. So next time you step back from that ledge or decide not too take those pills, ask yourself, who are you really helping here? Your family? Your friends? Yourself? You know that's not true. Only you have the power to make it all end. Make the responsible choice and stop being so damned selfish.
>>29979564
I'm afraid of death and what comes after it, is it eternal darkness, or my consciousness will just seize existing.
What's next?
Will I burn for an eternity for a stupid decision?
I've been paranoid about death for years, I can't sleep, I hardly sleep for a few hours a day.
When I finally decide to do it normies ruin it.
Ffs
>>29979645
I know your pain anon
Not even religious but the thought of nothingness is scary.
>>29979645
I know death is the best course of options for every single living thing on the planet, but I'm still so damn scared of it.
>>29976172
I'm honestly curious, what's the loony bin like?
Have you seen fucked up shit there. pls tell
>>29976846
You are a kind soul.
>>29979232
I don't recommend it. Most likely you'll find a way to fuck it up but even if you don't it's just depressing. Nobody deserves that kind of treatment. If anything you should live as a form of protest
>>29979623
I think it would be far more socially conscious for you to kill yourself and spare us of your simpleton posts.
> Me at 11yo, decided to take my life with a knife
> My abuser storms the bathroom, beat the shit out of me.
>14yo tried hanging. Fail.
>18yo tried od. Fail.
>24yo tried asfixiation, mother rescues me.
I CAN'T EVEN DIE. That's how much of a loser I am.
>>29979706
Its bores you out of your skin.
>wake up dazed from last night's meds
>neck stiff from shitty single pillow
>standard breakfast
>psychiatrist meeting
>some schizophrenic guy would lose it sometimes
>lunch
>some checks on vital signs
>free time watch tv or something
>anon why don't you talk
Mfw when will those fucks stop saying that meme?
>dinner
>take meds
>sleep
Repeat that 3 weeks and you get the full Monty.
Although there are some people who we shouldn't mess with, but I haven't seen anything that crazy.
Lots of creepy guys though
>>29979877
Hahahahahahahahaha.
Ahahahahaha.
>>29979877
Penalty of attempting suicide in France is a death penalty lol.
>>29979623
Let's drink the kool aid
>>29976172
>depression and anxiety
>recovering alcoholic
>last semester of grad school
>no real friends
>money running low
>no real job prospects
>rejected by girl
>everything makes me scared anxious and depressed, SSRI's aren't working
>final straw
>relapse
>drink for 4 days straight
>parents get worried, call cops
>taken to ER
>bite wrists in ER
>72 hour psych hold
>leave
>go home and go to therapy for 6 months to try to get my shit together
i'm doing better now; i finished grad school and got a job
life is still shit half the time
hang in there everyone
>>29980026
Did your mental health record effect your employability? Or the employment chances?
No story here comes close to yours op. It hurt me and i feel like its where ill be soon.
>>29980088
no thank god, that's all completely private in the US
>>29980201
I suggest a long break from R9K, literally worst place to be if you're depressed, I've been away for months but r9k always finds a way to get back in my life.
>>29980262
but i'm depressed and this is the only place i socialise, it comforts me knowing others out there are in the same situation as me
>>29980298
Its good to connect and vent from time to time but I know and you know this isn't the best place to be.
>>29979460
Sorry but I can't agree with you mate.
I've seen my stepsister trying to hang herselfe, and belive me, it wasn't nice at all. And I don't feel bad about the fact that I've stopped her, fortunatly.
It made me think about stuff. In all the family, I would have bet that I was going to be the suicidal one, with all the "tfw no gf" and "NEETness" bullshit that's so famous around this site. But I've always been cowardish, so it makes sense.
I Think many people don't care or just don't understand the horror of seeing someone close to a non natural death infront of your eyes. There's no way you would let someone do something like that, It's somewhat subliminal to help, you don't even think about it, you just do it.
Call it a selfish thing but, hell, the moment you realize that the person is in danger and that you're risking to not see that person anymore it's just too heavy to apply any sort of "that's what she/he wants". You just have to help, and I don't know what kind of monster you would have to be to not do that. So don't blame the ones who saves you, You're being selfish suiciding, and he's being selfish preventing it, There are no good guys.
Inb4: That's how:
>4 am doing internet stuff in my room, awake.
>Hear Noise of something heavy falling on the ground.
>Second later, broken glass noise.
>I decide to check, because it was strange.
>I Walk out of room into the corridor.
>Strange "tump tump tump" sound coming out of sister room
>I decide to check because maybe she broke something and needs help
>I open the door, see her hanging, still moving.
>Go for the light, Holy fuck I'll remember Her stare forever.
>Chair on the ground, That "tump" sound was she trying to put her foot onto a drawer near by to not choke, I think she was keeping sliding. The glass sound was infact a glass that tipped over in the process of stepping
>Even if Staggered, I manage to save her.
>Feel like Hero, but still cry like a baby.
First time I feel okay enought to type this.
>>29980707
im so sorry
can you describe her stare in more detail please
>>29980770
Just Terror. Sheer terror. She was looking at the drawer, a millisecond later the lights were on, I can still clarely see in my head the moviment of her eyes, from the left to me. It felt somewhat unnatrual, I still have quivers. It wasn't a good show, as I said.
I think she had realized that she was going to die at that point (I don't know exactly how long she did hang in there, but she was quite blue-ish), and I guess she was scared by that.
She was also making that horrible choke sound that you can just describe as "I desperatly need air"
It felt like a punch in my face. I remember i backed up with my whole body istinctivly, like when something jumpscares you.
Not a good thing. Don't do it boys.
>>29976172
My shitty clueless ex friend called the cops on me cause they thought I'd ''hurt myself''.. cops find me on the fucking street.. made me really mad.
They don't even actually give a fuck, they never wanted to see me in person, and earlier that year, they even ignored me in person EVERY time I was near for their other friends, whilst still lying in the occasional text about how we were such good friends. Thanks for calling the cops on me, shit.
Just wanted to share, it's somewhat relevant.
>>29981114
god that's terrifying
thank you for elucidating
that reads like hemingway describing death...i felt right there with you
again im so sorry
I remember trying to hang myself and right when I started to fade I woke up in the hospital with my mom and dad I wish I just was able to die now they complain and bitch to get a job I will never be able to get because I'm a piece of shit TFW you could have been dead if they came in 5 minutes later feels bad at least I will get my gun in a month and I can blow my brains out in the dead end by my house
>>29979059
Damnit man. I've been thinking about this exact topic all night. How people would remember me. And I think you're right. The people pushing me off the edge are the same people with vapid empty existences, who view life through a materialistic lense and don't see the heart in people. Thanks man. I might make it a while longer.
>>29976597
>18
>friends
>gf
>more friends
>party goer
HURRR DURRR HELP ME I HAVE DEPRESSION
if i had met a fucking djinn or a fucking golden fish i swear that i would ask for genociding people like you
>>29979372
You can do it anon , remember that no one will fix your problems, only you can help yourself
Reading threads like this gives me the motivation and power to continue not trusting in people or women. It's sad in a way, but also uplifting.
>>29984089
>people or women
It's good to see anons realize that these are mutually exclusive.
>>29979059
This was beautiful, anon. Thank you.Fuck you robot this is original
>>29977753
Fuck off with your shitty morals, 15 isn't too young.
>>29979059
He's right you know. My man.
>>29976172
Damn, OP. Sorry to hear that. Must be insanely lonely.
>>29976172
Holy fuck OP that's pretty damn shit. I really feel for you.
>>29976816
man some women are just disgusting... here's my empathy anon
Yes that hit me. I got into a car accident most people from work knew but no missed calls from phone, figured friends heard from the news...
How is the thread not dead yet?
>>29985547
Thank you, I appreciate it, you guys are the only people who'd talk to me right now.
>>29985111
I'm kinda getting used to it day by day, with friends like these who needs enemies?
I'm better off without them.
My message to everyone else who might be reading this:
Don't ever care about anyone or anything in life, because once you do life is going to stomp on it and crush it right in front of your eyes.
>>29976597
>having a gf for 2 years
>going to house parties
>girls can be nice guise:^)
>I'm so sad now guise!!!1!DX
Yeah, you can fuck off normalshit. Quit pretending like you know what the robot life is like.
If you did, you prolly would've actually killed yourself. Faggot
>>29985988
/R9K/ isn't about comparing who's got the shortest dick and short gets to stay,
Quit making the board for competitions about who's life is shittier, r9k is for socialising.
Not everyone is on the same level of shit life you know.
>>29976172
If you're male an a loser. No-one gives a shit, unfortunately thats how it is.
>>29976172
>19 years old
>have a gf she's not that hot but we had sex a lot
>i had cystic acne
>go on vacation
>ends up "breaking up" and sleeping with one guy
>i took her back like a cuck
>transfers college to one closer to me
>she cheats on me with a faggot dj
>i beg her not to leave ask for an open relationship
>i'm on accutane and a duck
>accutane makes you feel like shit
>i'm doing bad in school didn't even land my internship
>her and the dj broke up
>tells me how upset she is
>i feel like shit
>she won't even have sex with me
>goes on for months
>fucks my friend behind my back
>last straw i break up
>for some reason she begged me to stay
>cried.jpg
>we fucked with no strings attached for a few months
>i was testing her to see if she's loyal
>about to take her back
>she found another guy at a fucking bar
>cucks me again said she wants to break up forever and can't have sex with me
>go to party
>see her and guy dancing and being cute
>guy is older than her by 5 or 6 years
>i fucking rage and get drunk
>i see my friend that also fucked her
>i drive home and drove on the wrong side of the road i was so wasted
>somehow i got back to the right road and got to my apartment
>played move along by all american rejects
>cried
fast forward now to today, i'm successful in school and my internships, but i have mental problems. currently on anti depressants and benzos. i now have a huge fear of rejection and also low self esteem. i thought of killing my self all the time but the anti depressants really helped.
robots i know i may not be a 100% robot, but i just thought this message might help someone out in need. i've been through robot stages and been ridiculed socially etc. i know what it feels like to be a cucked beta.
get on medication and cognitive therapy.
>>29976816
how old are you anon? believe there is hope to regain your lost ways, to find a new purpose and you'll pull through.
>>29986239
21, how though, what purpose?
If there's one thing the normalshits do it's lie all the time/fake interest in you.
>shit social skills when I was younger led to me getting picked on
>this lead to high stress/depression which lead to me failing school (family/teachers said it was because I didn't work hard enough which drove me fucking crazy since I falsely believed this was true)
>cried a lot/unhappy all of the time (I also only get turned on by people getting beat up/humiliated and I'm almost certain this was the cause)
>told to get a job at 16 since "I wasn't smart enough" for A - levels
>moved schools and got very lucky with EXTREMELY, kind supportive teachers meaning I no longer wanted to end it
>within a year it became obvious I was the smartest person there/getting best grades and that I failed earlier due to high stress, the normies were completely fucking wrong
>it didn't even matter, previous grades fucked up uni applications
>tfw absolutely based teacher who encourages everyone to do their best tells me "Between me and you you're the smartest person at [school name] and seem like the sort of student who could of gone to Oxford if you had a better chance at it"
>the normies act as if they "always knew I could do it" (lying) and they seem to have forgot that only a few years ago they told me to get a job at 16, they also don't seem to realise why I'm pissed off about this
>tfw I don't even know if they realise they're lying
This pisses me off so much, I'm never going to know what it's like to be "successful" or what it's like to have a normal relationship with someone due to only getting turned on by people getting beat up/humiliated.
GET FUCKED REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>29976597
Wish you died on those tracks
I WAS USING ONE OF THOSE PORN SITES
JUST FOR FUN I WAS TALKING TO A GIRL (OBVIOUSLY MY PROFILE HAVE 0 PICS OF ME)
JUST FUCKING TALKING
THE 3 TIMES THEY SEND ME A RECORDING OF HIS VOICE LAUGHING
THEY WERE MEN
WHAT THE FUCK I
>>29986493
Kek, that's fucked.
Good thing you knew better than to use your real pictures on the internet.
>>29976172
>>29976597
>>29976816
That's why I avoid humans.
>>29986629
Its for the better anon, believe me you're not missing put on anything.
>>29986644
>put
Out*
You you this is originalio
>Kisless virgin
>dropped college
>my parents know I'm a faillure
>no job
I 'm just waiting for my favorite band to release a new album and then I'll just kill myself.
>>29976597
ringing girls/friends to help you before you commit,
doesn't imply a suicide was ever attempted.
You were going to pussy out anyway admit it.
>KHHV
>ugly as fuck
>poor
>shitskin
>failure at everything i have tried
>small penis
>pedo (oh god i didnt ask for this)
i dont even have social anxiety or autism, bbut i havent talked to humans in a long time because they think im a criminal or some psychopath
better luck next time i guess
>one life
>one chance
>gonna die forever
>no reincarnation
>born autistic
https://youtu.be/JnylM1hI2jc?t=3m13s
>>29978256
i actually cried
>>29987175
What the fuck is that shit, man ?
>>29987175
srsly dude what the fuck's in that picture
>>29987605
it's shit, dude.
>>29987605
>>29987572
i think is a man underwear covered with shit
and under that there is a burned man, i dot know i found that pic in some hmmm thread long time ago
>>29987731
hes not burned, its just dried up shit dude. trust me, im an expert on these things.
>>29987781
yeah i was thiking in that too, something similar happened to me in my hands when i was on the army
>>29987832
u had poop on your hands?
>>29976172
>>dumped
>has had a gf, kisses, hugs, and sex
>thinks he's a robot
Fuck you, faggot normie bitch
>>29987901
Keep thinking like that and people will keep their distance from you.
You have to be open, even if someone is or was more fortunate than you
>>29987955
No, stop trying to adjust the definition of robot to fit your faggot normie lifestyle.
I hope you get raped by a pack of niggers
>>29987997
You can't keep living like this, you're boasting about having a shittier life where will that get you?
A shittiest life of course
>>29987885
nah, i was in the army in some mountains so i didnt have too much water in the day and the cold burned my hands and it was like the skin of that man
>>29988058
not him but, you dont belong here if you think like that, someone that has had sex or someone who loved them just cant be a robot, if someones is more fortunate than robots, they are normalfags
simply as that
>>29988156
This place has changed I'll give you that.
>>29988194
changed because people started to think like that, that people with gf and not shit tier lifes could fit here, and now its full of normans
but i guess that was obvious even back then
>>29988222
>nice trips
That's one of the reasons I left the board, trap sissy porn and shit, quality threads are rare and too far in between.
>>29988282
>makes normie thread
>criticizes other threads
I'd rather have 80 threads of trannies getting destroyed by BBC than read your little normie bitchfest
>>be 21
>>some tl;tr shit happens
>>finally decide it's time to finish it
>>find a nice quiet place in the middle of a forest
>>take out my knife ready to slash my wrists
>>think that i should prabably call my mom and tell her i'm sorry for being such a dissapointment
>>turn on phone for the first time in weeks
>>recive a txt from mom telling me she took care of the cops and told her my sister was lying and it would be better if i never returned home
>>lost the incentive to kill myself
>>now had to face the concequences of the actions i took on my 'last weeks alive'
>>was pretty tough for a while
>>eventually moved to a different City and things actually went better for me
>>29988423
I'd love to hear the full story.
If you have the time.
>>29989345
His sister obviously accused him of rape
>>29989652
Seems like it, she should be in jail if so.
>>29989730
Not if he actually did it though right?
>had to face the consequences of my last weeks alive
>>29989345
>>29989652
Tried to rape my sister.
>>be virgin
>>no friends/khhv
>>sister is also shy and introverted
>>after years of reading incest fantasy and fapping only to incest porn i convince myself that she wants to fuck, i only need to make the first move
>>one evening drinking by myself, only me and sister at home
>>fuck it i'm doing it
>>go into sisters room
>>start groping her and try to undress her
>>she hits me and runs of
>>locks herself into the garage
>>i go and try to talk to her and tell her i'm sorry
>>she tells me she already called the cops and told them i tried to rape her
>>well this is it then, time to off myself i couldn't live with the shame of everyone i know knowing what i did
>>gtfo
>>don't want to die as a virgin
>>scam instant loan companies for about 2k eur
>>later also do some other criminal shit for quick cash
>>spend the next two weeks banging hookers and getting wasted
>>run out of cash
>>finally decide its time
>>29989819
was it worth it? im going to do something similar but im already sure
>>29989819
Oh I see, you obviously fucked up trying to undress her, a woman isn't a sex toy you bring out and fuck,
Anyways glad things worked out in the end.
>>29989850
Now to think about it my life would be shittier now if I hadn't done it. I was a looser NEET living with my parents. Being banned by my family forced me to man the fuck up. Also banging hookers gave me more confidence with women.
>>29989917
yeah im going to leave my house in a few months, going to be homeless and travel in my country, dont give a fuck if i die so there is no limitis i guess
do you have a job now? where do you live anon?
>>29990015
I have a decent job now and and rent an apartement.
It was really tough in the beginning. I blackmailed some closet homosexual for enough cash for one months rent at a very shitty apartement. Then I took the first job i could get and started delivering mail at 4am to 6am every morning for a little extra cash.
I still earned minimum wage for about a year due to having my bank account arrested so i could only use the minimum wage, everything above went to pay of my scams.
>Half the posts in this thread are people getting suicidal because their gfs left them or because they didnt get enough attention
>had sex
>had a gf
>had friends
>posting on r9k
>tons of anons offering condolences to others for how "bad" they had it
Really, fuck all of you
