>want to socialize with people
>don't really care what they have to say
>can't hide it for shit, it's probably clear to them too
>keep asking them questions, visibly don't care about their answers
>can't maintain a conversation myself, somehow lack the ability to talk in detail. I'd be hard pressed to spend more than one or two minutes describing a weeklong vacation, the words don't just come out (maybe subconsciously I think they don't care about my words any more than I care about theirs, so why bother speaking them)
All I want is a normal life with friends, but I wouldn't even know what to do with it if you thrust it into my hands.I-I'd even rather watch my anime waifu who I've come to see as the IRL woman I love, than actually talk to my IRL onetis.
>20 yr old virgin still living at home
>couldn't find any full-time jobs so I have two part-time jobs
>feel like a loser for still living at home, but still make below the poverty line
>constantly comparing myself to people my age
>feel like I'm not prepared for adulthood
>>29960930
Tfw that was me at 20. I'm 24 now, didn't have a 'real' job that gave me decent hours or paid worth a damn until last year. If you don't fall for the college meme, which you shouldn't because it's for women and Chads, then just don't give up and it'll probably turn around. It just seems, generally speaking, to happen slower for people who don't go to Cuck University.tfw fell for the "disregard parties and shit to build yourself professionally" meme and now I'm almost full robot and don't know how to socialize anymore
>emotionally broken since teenage years
>Can't remember being happy
>Spent last couple of years sleeping 12+ hours and just staring at the computer desperately for something to give me a purpose
>Need to fake 100% of emotions
>Pretend to get angry at things because other people do it
>Part time job where I should be managing people but I ant decide to try to be nice or actually get them to work
>Always tired but I put on a show for people so they don't treat me like a robot
>Don't know how to connect to people
>Actively hate people showing any emotions at all, most of all enthusiasm because I can't
>Shun all emotional talks, humor as an escape tool
>2 friends got into an argument while I was at their house and one threatened suicide, I've basically cut contact for being such a bitch that he needed to make his suicide other people's problem
>Family member came into my room at night trying to tell me about how they were sexually assaulted for years
>I basically told them to stop crying and leave
>My fantasies involve failing a suicide attempt and spending my days in a padded room
>Several therapists, I basically refuse to talk to them about anything that would help
>I think girls try to get my attention but I found if I just block out the world it can't hurt me so I wear sunglasses 24/7 and pretend to have hearing loss/ignore people
>Have to watch everyone my age get on with their life and go onto success
On the fence between jumping the bridge near my house, or joining the military and praying every day for death because I'm such a pathetic person .
>>29961287
>>29961287
Holy shit, friend. That's a real rough spot. I don't know if I was that extreme (although I might have been worse) but 2011-2012 was like that for me. Zero friends, socialization consisted of having dinner with family every month or so and being told what to do at work.
That was really what got me so addicted to Internet shit like this, I wasn't even in any Skype groups or anything, I just shitposted until I got too depressed or tired to stay awake.
A lot of times I wish I had offed myself back when I was actually depressed enough to do it in a heartbeat.
>tfw too proud to die without a will/suicide note and too depressed/unmotivated to make either one
>>29961287
You will go insane in a padded room. You are fooling yourself into thinking that is a good fantasy.
>get wired on amphetamines and caffeine all day
>inevitable insomnia
>stay up all night feeling paranoid and psychotic
>start posting cringey nonsensical garbage
>always feel like a fucking idiot by next day
>>29960809
You need a better common ground to find company then. Find something you get genuinely angry/excited about and start with an internet chat for it
>>29961468
Well you replied to my plea for attention so you're already better than me.
>>29961536
I can't make the wrong choice in there though. Insanity is all relative anyway.
>>29960809
>want to make money
>dont know how
Some people just don't make it.
>>29961687
*masturbates on you*
>>29961634
>common ground
Going /out/ is the only thing I enjoy sober anymore, and nobody wants to do that anymore it seems. Or they're so full-Chad rednecks that it's alienating to hang out with them, and that's saying something because I'm a fairly high-level redneck.
>(you) responded
I-it's my thread, senpai! A man cannot abandon his own thread! Unless he wants to, or gets drunk and passes out.
>>29961718
*glomps you*
:3
>claim to myself that I'm not an alcoholic even though my favorite thing to do is buy a bunch of beer and drink and play video games by myself 5-6 nights a week
>tfw remember last night was another one of those nights where i actually went out but got too drunk and stumbled home
>while stumbling home get the hiccups that just won't fucking stop
>they start to really piss me off
>screaming and yelling at the top of my lungs "FUCKING STOP" or just not even words at all
>sometimes I start pounding my stomach with my fist to try and get them to stop
>all while in stark public, San Francisco
do i have a problem at this point? that kind of behavior is what the weird homeless crazy addicts do, and it bums me the fuck out that I do it.
And before anyone starts about the "going out" thing, it was to meet my old best friend from 2nd grade through 8th grade who just moved here.
>>29961784
Pls no glomping without proper permits, sir.tfw haven't been glomped by an overly enthusiastic slutty hot #nerd girl since HS almost a decade ago
Coworker told me I have two personalities, stoic or a crude jokester.
Is this bad?
>>29961881
You sound like an alcoholic to me, comrade friend. You also sound like me.
>tfw trying to get control over the alcoholism that's been stifling my life and basically kept me from doing anything outside work, since as soon as I clocked out I'd head straight home (sometimes stopping for beer, gas, or fast food) and drink and watch anime until I pass out
>>29961992
Chicken nigger.
>that feel when no girlfriend
>that feel when really want a girlfriend
>that feel when tired of suffering from the cold dark loneliness
>>29962004
What?
[No robot, there's really nothing else to say to that]
>tfw when turning 25 this weekend
>all the jobs I thought I was going to get an interview for stopped replying
>running out of money
>see friends having fun travelling abroad or going to nice restaurants and events
>a lot of my college classmates are living my dream life with my dream job
>running out of antidepressants, afraid to go back to the doctor to ask for more since my family isn't happy that I'm taking them
>realizing that I can't change how ugly I am despite how much makeup I use
>not looking forward to my birthday at all
>>29962124
I-I'm 25 in a week too, senpai :((((
It's gonna be ok, when Trump makes anime real you'll have your waifu like you were always meant to have
>want GF
>never meet any women
>never get invited to co-ed parties
>all friends are male except for one
>hide all desire for women
>friends even joke that I'm asexual
>starting to lose hope
Well, it could be worse. I just wish I could still feel that bittersweet feeling of hopeless romance I had in high school; now I just block those emotions out.
