Let's tell some stories, whether they're funny, sad, or whatever. It's therapeutic to get stuff off your chest. I'll begin.
>broke and near homeless
>beg on 4chan for someone to let me live with them
>this femanon responds, she says I can live with her for free just as long as I clean her house and take care of her dog (her only conditions)
>warn her that I'm really autistic and quiet
>she says it's fine
>move in with her
>everything's going good, got a nice comfy room, she buys lots of food and I get to eat as much as I can
>think she's a nice woman, we talk sometimes and she teases me a lot
>few days go by
>"why aren't we friends yet, anon? are you angry at me?"
>confused, I thought things were going well
>I hide in my room a lot (I'm a robot, so of course I do) but I still do all the chores and talk to her about her day when she gets back from work
>this goes on for weeks, she keeps asking why we're not friends yet
>one day she sees a couch on the sidewalk
>she wants me to bring it up into the house
>do it with a little help from her, carry it up the stairs, back is in complete pain because I have scoliosis
>she suddenly gets anxious that there are bedbugs
>spend two hours checking the whole thing for bedbugs, didn't find anything, and everything I've read online says bedbugs don't live in sofas
>she decides she doesn't want the sofa anymore and makes me take it back to the curb (which is like nearly a block away)
[continued]
>another day
>she brings this dude from work home and they have really loud sex
>okay whatever
>the dude left the bathroom open and the dog gets into the trashcan and eats her used tampons
>she starts freaking out, completely convinced the dog is gonna die
>it's suddenly my job to watch the dog 24/7 to see if it'll throw up so I can stop her from eating it back again
>dog looks like she's in absolute pain and I love her to death (she's the nicest dog in the world), hug her and try to counsel her all day
>finally four days later she pukes it up when I'm not looking
>femanon finds the puke and yells at me for not taking it from her
>literally been watching this dog for four days and it's impossible to keep an eye on anything for that long
>goes back to her asking why we're not friends yet
>don't even have any anger or spite towards her, literally doing nothing to offend her except being my own robot self
>been planning a trip to my aunt for a while
>she has known about this for a week or more
>30 minutes before I leave she tells me I need to pack up all my stuff and leave because we're not friends and we apparently won't ever be friends
>literally known her for like a month and she expects us to be besties
>actually thought she was a pretty good person and almost a near-friend before this, we shared lots of laughs and drinks together, never judged her, related a lot to her upbringing (we both had shitty parents, etc.)
>did everything she asked of me, warned her I was quiet before, literally did nothing wrong
>completely homeless at this point because she's a psycho bitch who kicked me out for no reason
>luckily my aunt paid for an apartment for a few months back in my home town or else I would've been living on the streets
Nobody has any stories?
>>24576775
Tired wagekek here man, I can't...
DONT LET THE FLAME DIE OUT
plankton.jpg
please tell me some stories
>boss recently quit synthetic marijuana
>now drinks heavily every night
>shows up to work drunk all the time
>rants about 9/11 being an inside job
>definitely the biggest piece of shit on the planet
>has made out with another man
>homophobic
thats basically my life story
>>24576576
>>24576691
was she qt?
also what the fuck were you thinking when you moved in with a roastie
>>24577127
>rants about 9/11 being an inside job
sounds like a decent bloke. 7/10 would redpill on the kikes
>>24577154
I guess she was kind of attractive.
I didn't have anywhere else to go, I was desperate.
>>24577127
What kind of business is he running?
>>24576576
>be me
>be browsing /pol/
>see a funny image
>save it
>change file name
>hope anons will get a chuckle out of it, i have more if anons like it
>>24577271
lol awww
>be 10
>visiting my aunt and uncle's ranch with my 7-year-old sister
>first day we're there my sister and I decide to go pet the horses in the pasture
>while feeding grass and petting a mare, a stallion gallops up to us and bites my sister on the top of her head
>she's bleeding everywhere and screaming as we run back to the house
>aunt and uncle come running out and after wrapping her head in a towel my aunt drives her to the hospital
>I run upstairs and start crying because I'm scared and miss my family
>after a few minutes I hear a noise coming from outside so I look out the window
>my uncle is in the pasture beating the stallion to death with a metal pipe
>>24577303
Holy fuck
>when this comment wasn't original enough for the mods
>>24577300i think this name fits this pepe nicely
>>24577303
OId
>>24577303
>beating a dead horse
>>24577303
i laughed harder than i should have
bless you anon
>get invited to writers' group as a child
>am inspired by Tony Hawk's pro skater
>write my story on a magical homeless man
Anyone else ever look back on their lives and find out youre a literal retard
>>24577389
shut the fuck up literally what point is there in posting a shitpost response like that. now go fuck off
>>24577357
kek'd
post more
>>24577469
one of my personal faves
>dat dry humor
>be kid in the subs of Socal
>everyday after school would fuck around on bikes with 2 friends
>go to a unused lot behind apartment complexes
>huge fucking ditch with construction tools in it
>get a pitchfork while friend A has a massive PCV pipe
>he starts making dragon noises
>epic fight ensues with friend B hurling rocks at us from above
>we start throwing rocks at him
>police shows up with complaints of people throwing rocks
>blame it on the teenagers that were here before us
>be like 10 or 11
>just moved for my dads job
>have to stay in an apartment for a few months while parents look for new house to buy
>apartment complex has swimming pool
>hellyailoveswimming.jpg
>at the pool late one night with mom
>i have to piss
>get out of pool and walk to restroom
>walk over to the urinal
>fuck that
>piss in trashcan and leave
Bump for oc
