>start not giving a fuck
>feel better
>days go by
>feel like I'm bored as fuck but nothing fills the void
>decide to go back at streaming on twitch "for the lulz"
>feel like I'm caring about it as I set my old setup up again
>bad feel running on me
What is it? Basically I'm scared about giving a fuck about doing stuff because it destroyed me in the past.
I wish I didn't care that much, I've always been a person that "overcares", how do I change? Can I change myself? Never worked in the past.
I used to make a lot of people happy on twitch, but still.
and...nobody gives a flying fuck about me not even on the internet...thanks...
>>29849937
Hey man. Sounds like your having a rough time. I can understand the feeling of receding, trying to not care about anything for fear if being hurt... after that is what caring is.
Its putting your nerves outside yourself, into something you care about. Its the only way you can feel, and the only way you can feel worth or warm.
But sometimes that thing us yanked away, and the nerves all snap in an instant. The pain, the regret. The wish you had never put yourself out there to begin with. It sucks, man. Feels like you can't be yourself without being scorned.
But you can't stop now. You've been hurt before, you know that. You've felt that sting, and it hurts like nothing else. But your still here. That feeling didn't destroy you, your still sitting right here. The feeling can pass through you and leave quickly, or make its home in you, but either way you are greater then it. It is merely a part of you, one small part that makes up your immense sum.
All the hurt in life you've been witness to, all the pain that has racked you throughout the years, it will all be nothing to the happiness that you can find, man. Its out there somewhere, something beautiful, something worth every bump and scratch you'll get along the way. Something you can experience and say to yourself 'yeah, man, this was worth it. all of it'. I promise you its there. Life is full of so much that it couldn't NOT be there. But you'll never find it...
...Unless you put those nerves out there again, and again, and again. Until the world gives up its beautiful secret.
>>29850035
>ellipses
>some tumblr picture
The whole world doesn't revolve around you stop expecting it too holy hell
>>29850682
It doesn't have to revolve around him to get one genuine response. Hes a human being, and as annoying as attention whoring can be, we all need attention whether or not we admit it.
Let him be human, anon.
