>Finally got a friend
>Avoid him
What's wrong with me
>>29763200
Two possibilities I can see.
First: Doing things right and keeping this friend is important to you, and you're deeply afraid of fucking it up. Because of that, you're self-sabotaging so you will be able to control the circumstances under which you fail at this, and can look back and tell yourself just didn't put the effort in, or just didn't really want it. Because the worst outcome for you would be to actually put yourself out there and really try to make a friendship work, and fail despite this. You'd rather fuck it up on your own terms than even risk that.
Second possibility: you just sincerely aren't that interested, because you've grown accustomed to not having friends and there just isn't a lot you can actually see to do with them now. You may or may not additionally have spent much time thinking about how great it would be to have a friend, to the point where you've built up a mental imagine of what this means that turned out to be quite unlike the real thing, leaving you disappointed.
>>29763269
(Sorry for typos, 'bout to head to bed and didn't feel like editing.)
I do the same shit. For me I think I just don't put much value in hanging out, it doesn't do much for me because I enjoy being alone an equal amount or more so. I've had one friend in particular who I think I actually loved, no homo. Still ignored him after a while, and I feel guilty but I know it would probably just end up happening again anyway so why bother.
