>be me
>10
>fail one test
>fast forward to next year
>now I have to go to a class full of literal retards for one day
>PERFECT FUCKING GRADES UP UNTIL ONE DAMN TEST
>and now I have no friends
>fast forward two years
>mom still making me stay in the "tutoring class"
>I get fed up with it
>learning math I already knew
>retard keeps giggling
>walk up to him
>beat up the tard man
>I get tackled by officer mcfriendly
>dowhatyoumustialreadywon.jpg
>go to office
>explain to the principal my case
>she says she truly feels bad for me but must suspend me
>mfw
Continue?
>>29749804
>one year later
>family moved
>no more tard class
>at new school
>have a few friends
>feel generally happier
>feel like being nice to a tard
>walk with buddy to their little table
>introduce ourselves
>chad thundercock walks up to tards
>he starts harassing some fat potato nigger with shitstains on his pants
>me and buddy kick chads ass
>tards cheer us
>shitstain says
>"Y-you shavors!"
>tards start clapping
>one pulls his fucking massive dick out
>ohshtnigga
>he faps quickly
>he cums on me
>HE FUCKING CUMS ON ME
>chad's friends thinks the tards beat him up
>they attack the tards
>the two cops move in
>it was fucking glorious
>they're now chanting savior in battle
>fucking apples everywhere
>tards form circle around me
>I yell keep in formation
>they're using fucking plates as shields
>some chad's face is gnashed bad
>a cop is lying on the floor
>>29749959
>more cops called in
>me and buddy flee the scene
>join other kids watching from the lunchroom
>cops move in the lunchroom
>they're trying to tactically remove the tard shield wall
>tards call retreat
>they lose half their men in the initial cop raid
>the special ed teachers move in following the cops
>tards now in hallways
>the fucking smell
>some tard flung a shitty diaper at it's teacher
>principal tells all students to head to the gymnasium
>people I don't know are applauding me
>mfw
>>29750039
We had a lot of tards at school, about a hundred. I'd say they have thirty left. Then it got worse
>tards follow us
>they're fucking hurt
>saw one with a fork stuck in his ass
>cops following
>tards get riled up
>charge them
>it was fucking glorious
>potatoes against pigs
>They somehow still remember they're fighting for me and buddy
>concernedanimegirl.gif
>cops found out it was fucking me who started it
>im standing there with tard cum on me
>being cheered by the tards
>holy fucking shit
>cops gone mad
>they're using those stun guns on the tards
>I get told to report to the main office
>I, in spite of the principal tell the tards to fight one
>me and buddy grab chairs
>tards start doing
>they're down to about nineteen now
>they start tossing a few chairs at random
>even other students are not safe
>we have a perfect chokepoint
>I've had enough
>me and buddy run off through back door
>we get tackled by cops
>fucking hell
>suspended
>had to pay massive fine
To this day I do not know what happened to my potato army.
>>29749804
Good job tard master, good job
>>29749804
Holy fucking shit, that was amazing.
>>29750276
Thank you, I want to hunt down my three favorite tards, Shitstain, Potato, and Tiny. They were the most loyal
By the sheer amount of tards in your story, I'd have to estimate that you were in mississipi or some other hot shithole.
When the potatoes were dispersed into the unforgiving sun, did they dissipate into a vodka mist?
>>29751022
Yes, I was in Mississippi. The tards were never dispersed, only worn out and captured In their sleep. Theyy drew fucking pictures of me
>mfw im Tard E. Lee
I have plenty of stories about my school time if anyone wants to here them.
This greentext is just to give you an idea of my situation and if anyones interested i will elaborate on the things that happened
>Be me Age 11
>Diagnosed aspie
>Bullied to to the point that i cannot function in class
>Literally cannot sit in class with random assault
>people congratulate eachother for hitting me or spitting on me
>teachers call me a liar whenever i try to get help
>If i get badly beaten up they give me an ice pack and never suspend anyone for it
>Eventually get told to only come in for the first 3 hours of school
>Eventually they stop letting me into class
>Spend my mornings sitting outside office waiting the 3 hours to go home
>still get to go out during the break
>walk around playground when suddenly support staff grab me
>Begin shouting at me telling me i jumped on a boy
>Tell them i didn't but they dont care they drag me in and say they saw it on the CCTV
>I saw the incident it was another boy with the same hair as me who did it
>this spirals into an issue where my mum is called up to school
>Mummy promises that the school will give me a chance to speak and hear my case
>They don't, mum is furious demanding that they let me speak rather than make threats
>School is obviously just trying to label me as a bad pupil rather than handle the systematic bullying
>Mummy pulls me out of school after this.
holy shit
was your principal Miss Alex???
>>29751326
Damn nigga, you saw my tard army?
>>29749804
This sounds like the plot of a fun movie
>>29751342
John you fucking madman everyone missed you after the whole retard war, the tards cried for you man.
>>29749804
>>29749959
>>29750039
>>29750167
>>29751112
Fucking glorious m8. We need a screen cap here ASAP I'd do it myself but I'm on mobile
>10th grade, in first period.
>drunk, just listening to my homeroom teacher ramble about nonsense.
>two Negroes are arguing over something, get's physical real quick
>one negro falls over on my desk table and nudges me
>thought he was gonna attack me so I retaliate and drop him on the floor and stomp on his head
>everyone is looking at me dumbfounded like I just murdered some kid
>all I did was chip his tooth
>get sent into the principals office and suspended for a 2 weeks
Thank god they didn't know I was drunk, I can hold my liquor pretty well when it matters most.
>>29751398
John sounds like a fitting name for a Tard Master
top kek someone cap this
>>29751311
This feels like it will make me sad this thread is pretty funny please don't ruin it
>be me
>in college
>needed way to pay for school
>join Army ROTC
>put as a squad leader simply for being in the program long enough to be a senior and not raping anyone
>watch True Detective on sunday night
>hear woody harrelson's character say a funny line
>"I'm a normal ass dude, with a big ass dick"
>find it hilarious and want to shoehorn it into any conversation
>keep saying it to myself in the car on the way to the gym for physical training the next morning
>start the work out and am supposed to instruct a sophomore to lead some freshman in a run
>he asks me where to take them and what else to do
>now's my chance to quote a TV show with a funny relevant line
>tell him "you can decide, you're the guy with the big ass dick"
>he looked at me kinda weird and just walked away
>never lead any other cadets after that
>I still think about this daily
The last stand of the tards was also kek-worth
>tards in little chokepoint
>12:00
>I snuck out of my house to see what was happening
>cops were sneaking in
>grabbing tards
>about ten left
>cop slips
>tards go wild
>cop that is on the floor gets
>SAVER
>written in FUCKING SHIT
>I keep laughing as cops make a desperate charge
>the tard's phalanx shatters
>mfw a cop sees me and I run
>I think of the tards when this plays:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSUIQgEVDM4
>>29751647
TOPPEST OF ALL MY KEKS
