My attention/thinking span is ruining me. I always offend other people. I can't read, not even green texts. Christ, I can't even watch anime anymore.
Only videogames are good. Even then, I'm starting to hate playing games.
It's not that I'm not interested, I just can't focus on that thing I like.
Lel, I've probs made a typographical mistake here somewhere.
I can't even have ADD because ADD people are creative as fuck in things they like. Drawing. Singing. Hell, even talking. I can't do jack shit.
People with ADD can hyperfocus. I've never done that shit ever.
What's wrong with me?
>>8231379
You're a result of ignorant parenting and the modern age of escapism. It's not your fault, but you can fix it by starting small.
Remove your distractions. I broke my computer and since then my life has felt clearer and less jumbled. I stopped playing vidya and watching porn or masturbating.
With that I've also sat down to read frequently. Read as much as you can before you get sick of reading. Find texts you enjoy enough that you hunger to read even when doing other things. Dont read lazily. Seek books where you do not immediately understand everything you read in it, and dont move on until you feel you have grasped what a line or passage. This seems to excersize my mind and makes me feel so much more calm through the day.
Alternatively or additionally learn basic meditation.
Learn to appreciate little things. Sit outside for 20 minutes just enjoying solitude, maybe a drink and music.
>been straight edge my entire life and never taken any mind-altering medication
>will never have to worry about this
Feels amazing.
Honestly you might have ADD, OP. Consider seeing a psychologist and trying some meds.
I don't think I had ADD but my psychologist thought I did and the meds gave me the focus I needed to do things.
>>29667609
I don't think you know what ADD is...
>>29667719
Honestly, the only reason I computer is because it takes no effort.
I want to draw. Takes effort. I want to sing. Takes effort. Hell, write. Takes effort.
These things are further compounded with my anxiety. I mean, fuck every time I try to show someone talent, "top kek you suck. Just stop."
I mean, I know that everything takes practice, but fuck, even THAT didn't work.
>>29667719
>I broke my computer and since then my life has felt clearer
>is still posting
Back then, I tried playing the guitar. Stopped because I was so slow. I only know basic chords, and can't even strum properly.
Tried drawing. Can't draw from imagination. I can draw a subject with a reference image, even then, I'm so fucking slow, and make mistakes. Everyone I know who can draw can draw things they wanted to in their mind.
Singing sucks the most. "USE YOUR CHEST MUSCLES" hahaha lol wut. Fucking hell, and yet there are 6 year olds singing better.
Reading is just, so overwhelming. Fuck. I can't read something intellectually.
>>29667907
I got a smaller tablet-computer which I've forbade myself from playing vidya on. It only took a few months of no computer to realize how wasteful my time was on it.
>>29667877
I understand. Just start small. I know it feels like your life will end if you were without computer, but in fact it will get better.
We all start badly at things. Ignore unconstructive critiscisms by understanding that with persistence your critics will become admirable or envious.
>>29667743
Unless you get dementia, better yet early onset.
>>29668085
>tfw programmer so can't even cut myself off from a computer or the internet
Did I choose the wrong career?
>>29668085
Lel, I'm typing on a tablet right now. I have a laptop. Thanks for the advice.
I think I'm going to start reading slowly. It's just that my mind just fucks me over, like time is running out when I pay attention. It feels like time is running out when I pay attention to anything. When I don't, time goes slowly.
I think I'm going to lessen my laptop use. Besides, only my laptop has games on it.
No problems with my tablet. No games. Can't even watch YouTube videos. My subs list is too fucking overwhelming.
I should probably forgo the tv. Besides, it's the same thing over and over again.
I could focus when I was a child, but I slowly lost interest in things I like.
Any good book recommendations?
>>29667743
I'm gonna alter your mind with a 9mm round
>>29667743
>not knowing 4chan is mind-altering medication of the worst type
>>29668176
Depends on what you want to read. Explore lit or wsr for lists and stuff.
>>29668176
I forgot to explain, I have anxiety. At first, I didn't have it, only to developed slowly, over time. Back then, I was more asshole like and offended other people.
Then the anxiety kicked in. It made me a better person, sure, for other people at least, but fuck, it worsened my life. Anxiety plus attention span issues excarcerbate each other, double the trouble. I have at least one.
Of course, only my attention issue is making me sad. I couldn't care less about anxiety. It made me more moral. But the other one made it hard to be interested in anything ever.
>>29668276
Mostly, nonfiction. I can't empathize with characters in fiction.
I mean, I only read short articles of stuff. Bite sized reading. I can't read some history treatise.
When I read, I skim a lot. Otherwise, I read one line, then read that again, making me forget what was on that lime. My eyes hold me back if I don't go faster than them. It's hard to explain.
>>29668324
They're linked.
There are 2 things that removed my anxiety. "Therapy" didn't help me at all.
1. Read and internalize philosophy like stoicism and buddhism that break down exactly why you should not be anxious and how you have power over your thoughts.
2. Face fears. After i got rejected the firrst few times, I stopped being hurt by it almost completely. Even when i knew i would be rejected, i asked so there was no doubt to mull ovee in my mind for hours.
I used to hate confrontation. The first few times, whether it was confronting an abuser of some sort or my own feelings, I was scared before but relieved after. It makes me feel in control of myself.
>>29668502
I read philosophy. I just don't know how to apply it. I don't know what will happen to me when my most defining personality trait disappears. So, I just become a normie?
Oh, and that feeling when you meditate? I know how to do it, but it feels very uncomfortable, weird and disconnected from the world. Like I'm just an observer.
>>29668548
Apply it by doing what is said you should. Keep it in your head through the day. If you're a stoic, you should constantly be thinking "this does not affect me if it is not within my power" until it is natural and subconcious.
I believe that is the point of meditation. To be an observer to your own thoughts. Stick to it.
>>29668712
Thanks. I'll do meditation again so that mind gets used to it's altered state.
Good night, and thanks for the advice based anon. Gotta sleep to compensate for insomnia because of my racing mind.
