Back again huh? It's alright, I know how these things go. Just let me know what you want to drink and I'll fix it up for you.
So what brings you here tonight Sir?
Bourbon on the rocks as always. Make it a single though, I'm supposed to be pulling an all nighter to study.
>>29604854
Ah, i'm about to finish my second semester of uni. Barely passing by the skin of my teeth (or maybe not even) and i was supposed to have an exam in like 5 hours i'd stay all night studying for but it was postponed for the day after.
So here i am, full of caffeine and halfway through a study session that won't matter much because i'll have to do it all again tomorrow.
Fitting end for a shitty half-year i guess.
I'm not sure drinks are meant to interact with alcohol, but if you could get me something to crash and burn and sleep for like 10 hours, that'd be fucking choice.
Thanks for the hard work barkeep, keep it up.
Corona Extra for me
Parents finally made me get a job. I'm scanning and sorting books 3 days a week for minimum wage but it beats working in construction. My family is going on vacation in 2 weeks and we're going with some other people and one family has qt daughter that I can't figure out if I like or not because years of jacking off every day has ruined my perception of love and attraction to where I don't know the difference between liking/loving someone and just lust. I guess whatever happens happens. At 19 I'm a KV and she can probably tell which gives me basically no chance.
Vodka soda please
I just realized how much I hate everyone met in my life. I'm pretty sure this unhealthy but I'm only 23 yet barely realizing how shitty people really are.
>>29604998
>he scans things like a virgin
>>29604875
Bourbon on the rocks for our hard working student.
What're you studying for Sir?
>>29604923
We have a lot of uni students this time around huh? I wouldn't suggest all nighters, even though I can understand why you might need to pull one. The brain works best when it's well rested as you probably already know. It's too late now I suppose, so good luck Mr Anon
How about a Delamain Pale & Dry Xo? It's soothing and relaxing, bound to give you a good night rest. I'll fix you one up right now
>>29604998
Coming right up Sir
If you ask me, Jobs in a retail store that not many people visit would be especially comfy. All you have to do is get lost in thought for a few hours and occasionally talk to people when they ask you something
As for the girl, you know you truly like a girl when thinking about her warms your heart and she becomes the only thing you can think of. Try imaging what a relationship would be with her without any sex what so ever. Then you can decide if it's lust or love
>>29605041
On it's way, Sir
People can really be terrible. But who's to blame them? Human's are inherently selfish creatures. They only think of themselves and ignore anyone that can't benefit them. If the people you know have only done you wrong then you're right to hate them, Sir.
>>29604923
And here's your Delamain Pale & Dry Xo Sir, on the rocks for this nice summer evening. Give it a taste, you're bound to love it
>>29605139
I'm studying for macroeconomics and I have no fucking clue what I'm doing.
Doesnt' help that i'm really fucking stoned and if I stop smoking now I'll pass out. Oh well, I've pulled off As while on drugs before.
>>29604998
Your Corona Extra Sir, a personal favourite of mine
>>29605190
Hmmm, Macroeconomics isn't something I've always seen to be a "fun" subject. But if you're smart enough to get A grades while under the influence then you're bound to do just fine Sir. I'm sure you'll be able to. But maybe next time you just need to start studying a bit earlier.
>>29605256
I would have started earlier but the teacher only gives us the study guide two days before the test. That and getting over suicidal thoughts for the past few days. I'm just now ready to actually study .
>>29605041
And Of course, here is your Vodka Soda Sir. Apologies for the wait.
I need to cry but i cant, i havent been able to cry and i feel it deep down that i need to and its clawing at me. what should i do?
>>29605299
also just a shot of whiskey, thanks.
>>29604854
Hey boss, never been in here. Wanted to check it out you know. See whats going on... I just need somewhere to sit honestly... I never stop walking down this street at night. Hoping to some day find something that gives me some direction...
>>29605041
And everyone hates you as well you conceited faggot.
>>29605299
Kill yourself my friend.
Double Jack and Coke. I actually quit drinking about a week ago irl and haven't been able to sleep more then three hours in a night since, going through some pretty serious withdrawals. Doesn't look like the fatal kind though. Now I'm just up at 1:30 AM wishing I could be sleeping.
>>29605381
>double jack and coke
You're pretty much telling everyone your straightup gay hey?
>>29605397
I am tbhwymf
>>29605182
Extra old, huh? That's kind of how i feel right now. Again, fitting.
You got one thing wrong, though. It's winter around here, and we incans aren't used to low, humid temperatures. However, drinking a foreign drink asks for certain foreign traditions. I suppose one of them might be enjoying a few thick, solid ice cubes on top of your European eau-de-vie.
Here's to you, hard worker. Might my future bring me half as much satisfaction and peace of mind as you bring to your customers every night.
Keep the change. If you don't know what to do with the coin, there's this chinese-looking old man next block who can tell you exactly how much these are worth.65 bucks, ish.
>>29605280
Studying while being depressed just seems like a behemoth task for me. I'm surprised you can even bring yourself to go to uni let alone motivate yourself to study. Hopefully next time will be better.
>>29605299
>>29605326
A single shot of whiskey for our troubled costumer.
I can't say I know how to cry, haven't done so myself in years, but how I see it is you can't force it. Forcing yourself to cry doesn't seem like it'd solve your issue. It has to come naturally.
Alternatively you could try finding one of those "crying therapy" places in the city and ask them for tips, maybe it'd be worth it?
>>29605332
How I see it Sir, any direction you take can be the right direction, you just have to adapt and conform to find comfort in any situation you're in. That's just how I see it though.
What kind of place would you be looking to go, if that sign did show up?It's nice to have new customers. Would you like me to fetch you a drink?
>>29605381
Coming right up Sir.
Congratulations on making it this far. I'm sure in a few more weeks the symptoms will fade and you'll be resting well while alcohol free.
>>29605283
Many thanks bartender.
I must ask what is your best advice in dealing with people in general then?
>>29605381
Double Jack and Coke. Don't worry about the Neigh Sayers. Any drink is a good drink in my eyes
>>29605465
My sir that's quite a hefty tip. Much appreciated
Don't worry Sir, Things may seem distrustful and tiring today but soon you're going to look back and wonder why you even worried in the first place. You'll find satisfaction in what you do, as long as you do what you truly want to do.
>>29605492
Listen carefully and sympathize wholeheartedly. Understand that just because something may not seem significant to you doesn't mean that it won't mean the world to them. Try to put yourself in their shoes and ask yourself what you CAN do to better your situation (as opposed to what you should do)
>>29605466
>What kind of place would you be looking to go
In my head there is no sign... and I woulden't know it would be that place I've been waiting for.... but I know what would be inside. All the lost promises I was made, and all the lies I believed... even the ones I made up...
Give me anything for your liquid courage shelf yea?
Johnnie Walker on the rocks. I'm here because I'm rich from the inheritance my dad left me, so I sit alone in my house and nobody cares about me because life took my father and gave me money instead, and according to most people, money is all that matters and I should be happy.
I'm a king with no kingdom, in a way.
> date a black girl for a few months, family doesn't approve
> eventually decide its better if we seperate so she isnt around negativity
> last encounter we had, I knocked her up
> initially keep it a secret, be supportive
> mother and immediate family find out 3 months in, freak out, angry and disappointed
> a combination of anger, self loathing and pressure from them leads me to push her away and not to contact me till due date
> spend a month or so going from a stubborn asshole to realizing what a terrible thing i was doing.
> get a job to hold down until start career, attempt to reconnect and show her ive changed
> shes totally cold to me, distant, hardly wants to speak to me, ive missed out on a lot of stuff
> every day, i have to wake up realizing ive hurt a good girl and pissed away my chances of a family
Now its like Im going to be a divorced dad at 22. Never going to get that traditional family. Im trying to show that Im better but...nothing seems to matter to her.
Give me something to take the pain away. Id use a bullet but I cant do that to my son.
>>29604854
How have you been sir ? I've been alright I guess I have a part time job at a golf course and I'm attending community college at the moment to get an IT degree. I just don't know what area of IT yet. I am also making a visual novel videogame about this very website. I've been working on it night and day and I'm putting it on android and Windows
>>29605610
This was actually pretty sound Bartender. Thank you.
>>29604854
chocolate milk and a blankey
because I'm huge 6'2 man baby who still sucks his thumb
>>29605690
You're looking for closure then son. I can't say I'm an expert on closure but I know that you can't keep yourself in the past. The past is done. There's no changing it. Look ahead instead of focusing on what could have been and then maybe you'll find your closure, Sir.
How about a shot of Pincer Vodka? At 89% alcohol it's bound to give you courage like no other, if you don't pass out that is.
>>29605823
Coming right up Sir.
I know for a fact money can't buy happiness but maybe you could try attending something in an attempt to make a friend of some sorts? Maybe start travelling and find a travel partner? Since you have money the options for finding some other people are endless, not completely sure how you would do it though...
>>29605860
Oh boy, it looks like you're not the only one that could use a shot of Pincer Vodka, maybe a couple more. I'll get the shot glasses out...
If you've really tried everything you can do to apologise and make it up to her then I suppose the only thing left to do is to move on. Now I'm well aware that it's much harder to do than it is to just say, but what other options do you have?
Find some sort of escape, something to keep your mind off the situation entirely. Maybe games or travel? Use the money you've begun making and find a place you can go to let go of yourself. Or maybe you could focus on your job itself? Trying your hardest to move up in the rankings?
And remember, you're only 22 years old. You're so young, you're bound to find someone to start a family with soon. But first you have to focus on moving on.
>>29605882
My my it sounds like you've got your life undercontrol. It's nice to see someone who has things going well come to the Feels Bar every now and again. Any idea what kind of job you might want with your degree?
As for me, I'm just a bit tired and bored, as I always am. But it's nothing to worry about.
>>29605903
My Pleasure Sir.
>>29605823
Here's your Johnny Walker Sir, cold and fresh, just the way it should be. Sorry for the wait.
>>29605986
Coming right up Sir. I'll head to the back to see if we have a big enough blanket for you
>>29606014
Thanks man. Ive focused on getting money. Ive applied to MD Anderson, and have a good shot at a medical position. I need to move out of the house because due to comments my mother has said, i dont feel comfortable bringing my son around. Im trying to find solace in church. I just hate myself for how I was. I want a second chance - to prove Im better. If it still doesnt it, fine. I just dont want to be damned for a lifetime for how i acted for 1-2 months... I hate how we have to work out schedules and days we'll have him. I just wanted a normal family...and Ive lost it. My heart aches but Im trying to keep my spirits up. Thanks 'keep.
can i have a doctor pepper?
>>29605986
Here's your chocolate milk and Blanket Sir, with a few chocolate doughnuts, on the house.
>>29606078
Who knows? Maybe if you're a good enough father to the child, and you really prove that you're worth her fathership then she might take you back and you will have that family you've been looking for. The church could bring you peace of mind but it's up to you to make things better. And I'm certain you will.
Do you love your child Sir? Even though he may not be a part of the normal family you desire?
>>29606092
I'll find a nice cold one for you.
>>29606092
Here you are Sir, straight from the fridge.
>>29606158
Thats what my friends have told me. Give her the space shes asking for, show im focused on improving myself and just be there for my boy and for her if she needs it. Its tough.
If you asked me that months ago, i couldnt answer straight. But now? Yes, of course. No matter what he looks like, thats my boy.
>>29604854
Gimme a lager, whatever's on tap.
I need to decide if my gf is worth keeping. It's a long distance relationship and if she comes close to live with or near me she will be my financial ball and chain. She mad so many bad decisions in her youth and even though I love her it doesn't seem smart to keep her around.
I saw the girl I'm in love with's mother at my job today. Up until now, they haven't known where I work.
Here's the problem: I work at a a grocery store.
Could a mother even let her daughter date a loser like me, who works at a grocery store?
>>29606014
>How about a shot of Pincer Vodka?
Yea man, whatever you think is right... just keep 'em coming... When I wake up I don't want to remember today... or any day for that matter...
>>29606184
Your friends are right. I'm sure she'll come around. She's going through so many emotions of her own right now that she's not sure about what she should do. Don't forget about what she's thinking. It'll all be okay in a few months. Just make yourself the best man you can be for when she comes to.
That's the best answer I could have heard. You'll be a fine father, Mr Anon.
>>29606219
Budweiser today Sir. I can get you something else if you'd prefer?
Long distance relationships are a huge burden to begin with, I speak from experience. But the added stress of having to deal with her in financial terms would only put more stress on you, which in turn will make your relationship unstable and destructive once she gets there. I understand the feeling of having to let someone you love go but it might be best to think about yourself first? Especially considering the relationship might now even withstand the financial trauma. I'm sorry you have to make this decision Sir.
>>29606250
Did the mother seem shocked to see you there? Is she the type to think about money over emotions?
Even is she is then i don't think you should worry about what her mother thinks. Just make sure things go well with you and this girl for the moment, then you can worry about what her mother thinks
>>29606334
In that case, I'll get you the entire bottle....
What exactly happened to make you this way Sir? I you don't mind me asking that is.
>>29606347
>>29606219
Budweiser will do, It just seems like the shittiest reason to break up with someone. Not to mention I'm the only good thing in her life at the moment.
The situation is sticky in every direction. I may have convinced her to join the airforce today though and look into military journalism. I work at a News Station so with any luck I might be able to get her a job there.
sippy sippy.
Just give me whatever the last guy ordered, no preference tonight.
Looking forward to another night of insomnia caused by crippling depression. Im at the point to where stupid shit makes me really angry, but then when I start to cool down I realize that I was really just angry at myself. It's an endless spiral.
>>29606411
Hmmm, If she's planning on getting a job then that makes everything I've said obsolete. Hold out until you can see if she can actually get a job. But keep in mind if she comes over and she can't get a job then you can bet that things are going to start falling apart, fast. If you're really willing to put her before yourself knowing that things might go sour then I'm not one to stop you. Just be careful.I was also the best thing in a girl's life at one point. I made horrible mistakes by continuing. She'd later betray me and leave me ruined
Would you like another Sir?
>>29606477
Budweiser it is then, let me know if you'd prefer something else.
Any idea what's causing your sorrows son?
>>29606501
I'm sorry to hear that you went through this as well. I shall tread carefully. I already told her that I won't even consider moving in with someone who isn't financially stable. This has pushed he to work harder, though it seems she has the worst luck on the planet.
No more for me. I'm gunna waddle to my bed soon. Have a good night barkeep.
sippy. sippy.
>>29604854
Hows it going sir, im new here. Can you get me whiskey on the rocks? For myself i find myself in a bit of a crossroad right now. Everyones telling me to keep on in uni, but my hearts not in it. The carrer im looking forward to dosent require it, it requires heart, soul, dedication, and a bit of talent. Most folks around me say i can do it, but then there that one glimps in there eye where you can see the lie, the eyes of Satan as a snake. Im leaving the only place ive ever called home soon so i can do what ive always wanted and the only person stopping me is me, i just hope i dont doubt myself like i have some times before
>>29606347
>What exactly happened to make you this way
....Everything... except death. I went thru everything you would never want your child to go thru. Everything from being cornered into living in military camps... to rehab...to law breaking.... to a window eleven stories high... Why aren't suicide pills available over the counter..... fucking Obama...
Yea just leave this bottle here, I'll take care of it...
>>29606501
Don't normally drink, had a few light beers but nothing hard.
You got something for a man reminiscing on past sorrows? Got a lot of pain I'd like to forget, and a few more recent mistakes as well. Just not too strong, long night of work ahead it seems.
>>29606596
what sorta career you lookin at anon?
>>29606619
Looking at a carrer in writing, books, shows, movies, you name it and ill write it. I know the stereotypical writer story and all that crap, but if i don't do this i can't do anything else. Uni showed me some things and im grateful for it, but theres nothing left for me there. Ive already written some local commercials which gave me some good money, but it's not what i plan to do in this shithole anymore. Ive already written a rough draft of a novel and two screenplays. I just need to go out and make my dream a reality and not care about the opinion of otheres. I know my work is good, the few eyes that have seen it agree on it, and these are people are not bullshiters.
>>29606668
perhaps we can help one another- I'm headin into the filmaking trade myself and find myself in a situation not too different from yours.
demo reel if you've got any doubts.
https://vimeo.com/168675019
Email's [email protected] if you want to share some writing or simply make a connection.
>>29606582
Well, as long as you do what you think is best, just make sure you're sure about what you're doing
Goodnight Mr Anonymous, sleep well.
>>29606596
Whiskey on the rocks, for the new comer
Well a uni degree is a good (sometimes life saving) safety net in case things don't go as anticipated. That does depend on the degree itself though of course. But if you ask me, don't do something you don't want to. If you think this job is what you really want to do and it's something that'll make you happier than the uni degree ever could then the answer is obvious in my opinion.
But then again, a uni degree COULD make things easier on you. You have to consider how well you're doing in the course first as well as how much you have to pay and if you'll be in more debt than you can handle. Writing can be a difficult dream to peruse, writers are often poor and underpaid but if you're REALLY going to put all you've got into it then you'll be stable in life. And even so, doing what you love every day is infinitely better than doing something that gets you money
>>29606603
Jesus that sounds like a rough night. Good on you for making it this far Sir. I can't say I'm an expert in depression but I know that sometimes the best way to be happy is to just adapt. Now I know that's easier said than done, and I don't expect you to even have the motivation to try but finding comfort in where you stand could work for you, although I doubt you can picture it happening can you?
My best advice for you may seem a little too normie but just keep putting one foot after the other. Solace could come when you least expect it.
>>29606708
Wow a fellow future filmmaker. At least you have something to show for it. As much as i love the idea of being a director, i see myself more along the lines of writing the story and getting paid. The problem is i get attached to my work. So i say i just want to write for now, but i know ill end up wanting to direct because nobody will probably understand what i want to convey. Also its a miracle i get anything written at considering how much i rewrite every single little sentence. When do you plan on making the big move west?
Might have to close up shop earlier than normal today. Good luck to all the robots who cam here. Sorry for any inconvenience.
Next drinks are on the house.
>>29606743
Thanks for the drink. Yeah i get the whole safety net, but a degree in history wont get you far unless you plan on going straight back to highschool to teach it which is the exact opposite where i want to be. Honestly the only real reason i even went to Uni was to make my parents proud. I'm the first person in my family to make it to Uni, and i couldn't live to throw it away to chase what many would label a pipe dream. Again, the years werent wasted. I've made many connections and met good people, but none of that would matter if i don't chase what i strive to become. I sound like the fucking drama kids i loathed back in highschool, thats how low I've become of myself. Enough about my shit for now, how's your night? Looks like a busy night tonight. How'd you end up in this trade?
>>29606784
It all depends on how the future turns out, really. Pretty far west myself already. I'm just fresh out of highschool right now- got some work as a junior video editor for one local company lined up, and potential work as crew on some other local stuff. Trying to build my connections here and then use them to make my own films. Have several scripts I'd love to make films out of, not sure if I can make it happen though.
Might go to film school, head to work right away as an editor, honestly just going to explore my options at this point.
In addition, I feel your pain with how people butcher your shit. I've had to work on a couple co-op projects where during filming my friends try to fucking change shit and they don't understand why it has to stay a specific way or why they can't do certain things. One time one of the actors brought her baby to the shoot, the other actors wanted me to incorporated the baby into the film on the fly and after we fought over it for several hours and got nowhere, I just fucking left. They got mad at me for some reason despite the fact that I wrote storyboarded ect... everything for the project myself. Told them if they wanted to write their own fucking project with a baby in it they were welcome too and just left. They tried to complete what we'd done on their own- shittily and then made their own version later. It was shit.
Anyhow, like I said send me a couple of your scripts or drafts. I'd love to read them.
>>29606905
Damn that really sucks about the baby shoot. See thats the type of shit i cant fucking stand. I can't imagine writing, putting my blood sweat and tears into writing something for months only to have some know it all director come in and fucking shit on everything and then people will blame the writing or some shit.
Congrats on getting a job as a juinor editor, it starts like that but you work your way up bro. Also goodluck in the film school, its not really for me, but im sure you'll learn tons of stuff over there. How far west are you? Im all the way in Miami so if i head out there im staying over there through thick and thin.
I'll send you copies of what ive written in a few weeks. Im not 100% on anything ive written just yet and i dont like anyone reading my stuff unless i hand it to them personally and even then i only show them certain parts that im completely fine with. One time my mom came into my room and read a bit of my script and although she said it was good, i felt violated in a sort of way. Not gonna say i was raped or anything, but i didnt like it one bit, i even put passwords just to access the docs now.
But like i said, ill send you this draft im working on now in a few weeks. Ill save your email. It's gonna be a bio-pic on what it was like for the band members on Captain Beefheart and the Magic Band during the Trout Mask Replica album. It's truly fascinating
>>29606743
>sometimes the best way to be happy is to just adapt
If I adapted to my situation I would be psychotic... well, more... maybe a serial murderer. Not a serial rapist do, I don't have the energy or that caliber of drive.
>keep putting one foot after the other. Solace could come when you least expect it.
I hope so... I stopped hoping for anything a long time ago, so I should be expecting it any second... kind of hard to imagine do.... bet lets see who's right
rum and coke please
I moved away from my hometown a few years back, I had to get out due to escalating problems with my parents and what I can only describe as teenage angst levels of depression. After moving ive come to realize that the depression I experienced at home was nothing compared to how it feels to be out on your own. The crippling loneliness, the constant sadness, the homesickness. Last winter was the first time I ever actually considered suicide. Ive had so much time to think these last two years and ive come to the conclusion that ive been a giant piece of shit since I left high school, ive been distant, and ive stopped caring about people. My life is a mess, I dont know where im headed, Ive quit every job ive ever had. The people I went to high school with are all getting degrees and jobs and getting married and having kids. It makes me feel like im doing something wrong. I know that those people are probably not as happy as imagine them being, but at least they have some structure to their lives.
Thats where the other problem lies, I always think to myself that I want structure in my life, but I constantly try to run away from it. I always think that the stereotypical family life shit would be too boring for me, but chaos just makes me feel like im headed nowhere.
I miss being in high school, which I guess is a normie thing to say, but I just loved how easy going it was, it was the perfect blend of structure and chaos. I miss when nothing really mattered, I miss when my friends werent so rapped up in work, I miss having some sort of hopes and dreams for the future.
Anyway, sorry for the long rant, thanks for taking the time to listen.
>>29607039
Sounds great, I'll be waiting. I'm just a few hours out from vancouver so my location is pretty good honestly.
You sound like me when it comes to sharing writing and work, I get ticked off if someone sees something I'm not finished yet even if they think it's good. Last year I had this huge project in the works that I barely got all the footage for in time for the last day of school. Pulled a frantic all nighter editing it in time to be shown- and the editing frankly sucked fucking dick. So low quality I dropped the entire project and never finished the edit I was was so ashamed of what I'd ended up showing.
And as for the baby shit, I'm still fucking mad about that. We were doing an adaption of a book for our english class, other dumbasses in my group basically just wanted to make it into a random shootout and ignore the source material. I fought to keep to the source material, keep it interesting. In the end most of them really liked the script I wrote, and they'd been to lazy to make their own other than a really shitty intro that they wanted me to shoehorn in. I refused and after a vote the majority wanted to go ahead with my version of the project. So we got the props and gear ready- they forgot some shit on the day of the shoot but I improvised. Almost got arrested by SWAT- long story there but we started filming and it all went to shit when the baby wouldn't stop crying and walking into shots.
Afterwards everyone blamed me for it somehow, the one kid who had heavily pushed for a gunfight and who had written the shitty scene I mentioned ripped my script up in front of my face and threw it in the trash. Nobody batted an eye. Then, he used my facebook to creat a facebook group called the "anti anon group" when I accidentally left it logged on one of the editing room computers and organized his own version of the film on it. They film and finish it without incident because they don't bring a fucking baby ...cont
>>29607384
...cont
So I see the final project. That motherfucker, that motherfucking cunt had STOLEN MY SCRIPT FOR HIS OWN MOTHERFUCKING VIDEO.
Good 2/3rds of the lines were all stolen verbatim from my fucking script. The entire fucking concept as well. No credit, no thanks, no apology fucking NOTHING. Teacher fucking loves it and gives them a perfect grade, I end up with an incomplete project to hand in. THAT FUCKING CUNT. Jesus, reminds me I still have him on facebook what a fucking cunt piece of shit.
His final project for the year in film class actually got fucked up though and lost all it's audio... so a small sense of karma I guess?
I struggle between what I know is right in my own mind, and some warped truthfulness as seen through other people's eyes who have no heart, and can't see the difference anyway.
I have no control anymore. I don't know what to do.
