How can I force myself to commit suicide?
>inb4 don't do it
Of course I should. First off I have no close friends ad family and secondly my life is nothing more than an accumulation of negative utility. What is the significance of another 50 years of life? I would have to be a fucking chump to agree to live out the rest of this turkey.
>>29574556
You posted Bloom so you might read?
First, go crazy before you kill yourself, do some travelling in some shithole like Kenya and fuck some whores.
I done this and ended up not killing myself and getting a whole new outlook on life.
People can be pretty great and enjoyable when you abandon your prejudice. That's what I had to do and now I'm just trying to be a decent guy and working on my books.
I also attempted suicide before and the rope broke, left a huge red mark around the front of my neck for awhile, scared me off for a while.
>>29574628
These Oyster "fuck your life" plans always seem so stupid. Why would I want to fuck whores in kenya, get aids, probably get mugged or maybe even kidnapped? You are presupposing that life is good. Maybe at a certain quality of living the illusion of life's equitability is strong enough to "justify" going on and on with it. But to me the only life worth fighting for is a devotional one and I sure as hell am not feeling it.
>>29574764
My mindset was a suicidal one, I went there to push myself to an ultimatum. I was always frowning, had nothing with me except money.
Then halfway through I got talking to some cool nigger outside a bar who was a real nice guy. I got talking to his friends, met some girls, actually had a blast.
I came back with the insight that friendship is everything in life and that people are open to friendship if you are insistent and are genuinely nice.
Sounds stupid, but when I came back I was fearless and enjoyed the company of other people a lot more; I was also now interesting because I had a story to tell.
By the way, Kenya is pretty nice, it's not a warzone or anything.
You could go somewhere else, I was crazed with depression and loneliness at that time and really tried picking someplace where I would just end it all.
But, this is truth, life is good or bad depending on how you see it. And a strong man can make it good even if everything is against him. I'm unattractive for example, and awkward, but I learned that people will respond to your personality if it's strong enough to outweigh these things.
>>29574556
Listen to this on a loop
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdHaphJMwhE>mfw I actually thought about going down the road today but stopped myself
