ITT: Post your stories about painful poops.
Today I took a shit and I felt like a mother horse giving birth to a colt.
>>29560140
I live in Nevada where the air is very dry. I went up to Oregon to visit my parents for 2 weeks. With the extra moisture in the air, I didn't need to drink as much water to keep myself hydrated. So when I got back, I woke up in the morning and my lips were dry and split and my mouth was dry as fuck. Went to take a shit and it was hard as a fucking rock. Came out in little pellets, but it felt like I was shitting gravel. Fucking hurt. There was a cloud of blood in the toilet and when I wiped, I didn't even see any poop on the paper, just blood. Lots of blood. My asshole hurt for a few hours after that.
It hasn't bled sense I re-hydrated myself, though.
>>29560274
OP Here
Holy... Fuck.
That sounds so bad, man.
Another time I took a monstrous shit. After I curled up in my bed and just laid there recovering.
one time i took a poo and it was almost spherical and round like a small tennis ball
tore me a new asshole
>>29560412
Uhm.. OP here.
....you should definitely get that checked out Anon...
Like.
By a Doctor.....
I have diarrhea literally every time I shit.
One time I was taking a shit and eating chicken wings, but I left the half eaten wings in the bathroom afterwards. My friends found it eventually and put two and two together and thought it was really funny. Frankly, I don't think there's anything wrong with it.
Took a painkiller on an empty stomach and was endlessly shitting. Eventually my rectum was just spasming and residue from colon and my stomach (I guess) was all that was coming out. Worst part was how raw my butthole was afterwards
>>29560843
>eating chicken wings while pooping
That's fucking hilarious
>>29560140
had to leave the pub the other day just to rush my way over to the local Subway while being extremely constipated so i could let out my endless shitstream in their public toilet
Whenever I take a shit my asshole rips. There's a scab that never heals properly because I'm obviously shitting at least once a day. It's a new kind of purgatory.
Reminder that all your rectal problems is because you try to poop while you're sitting down instead of squatting. Indians may shit outside but they never have constipation, haemorroids or colon cancer.
>>29560140
>Taking a shit after eating a few ghost peppers back when I was a lad.
>>29560140
Every week it seems like I take a shit so jagged and big that it splits my ass open, I go to wipe and there is nothing but blood.
>>29560140
>drunk off malt liquor for 3-4 days
>just malt liquor, no food
>shit is like tar, not quite diarrhea but not solid
>smells like death
This is what alcoholics don't talk about when they bring up their habit, nobody wants to hear it cuz it's nasty.
OP HERE.
WHY HAVE NONE OF YOU GONE TO SEE A DOCTOR LOL
>>29560950
That's true but please don't squat over a toilet like in pic related. You are very likely to slip and fuck your own shit up.
>be in brazil
>eat a bunch of mango
>go on an 11 hr bus ride immediately after
>get to destination
>nobody there to pick me up
>had the urge to go shit about 6 hours ago but can't
>people who were supposed to be waiting for me show up
>we start walking
>have to shit REALLY fucking bad
>no time
>have to go to get pictures for visa
>basically accept the pain will never go away
>have to go get visa renewed
>got on bus at 9 at night, it's now 10 in the morning and i've needed to shit for basically 8 hours
>waiting to get visa renewed
>it's now 11:30
>this shit is going to kill me
>go drop the biggest, nastiest, smelliest shit of my life
>my anus hurts
>bleeding a little bit
>leave bathroom
>brazilian women enters to clean bathroom like a minute later
>she screams "meu deus do ceu" and "nao acredito"
>feelsbad
>>29561788
Heh! Fucking hell Anon
I'm not going to greentext because I'm not a fag.
A few years ago I went to have a shit but on its way out it felt like something was wrong. The turd was so fat it felt like it was splitting me in half. Somehow the turd had rotated inside me and was coming out sideways, the thing snapped in half and the two halves were coming out side by side.
I took two shits at once.
>>29561717
doctors are for normies
>>29560950
This guy knows. Best we westerners can do is put our feet on a stool. I have the easiest and most satisfying shits ever when I use this technique.
>>29560140
I have no such stories because I eat fiber because I'm not an idiot.
>one million degrees in the toilet
>as I sit down I am already embedded in a thick coating of sweat
>I start slipping on the toilet immediately
>my whole body hurts at this point
>it starts coming out
>my face feels like it's falling off
>I am burning
>It's still inside me and I'm forcing it out
>Pray to the Lord to take me at that very moment
>A huge lump of shit drops out of me and instantly I am relieved from all the discomfort of this world
>My gaping anus is pulsating
>Sense of accomplishment comes onto me
Been taking painkillers constantly for the last 6 weeks, hadn't shat in 7 days so stopped taking them for a day, did 8 enormous shits in 24hrs... and still going. Back on the painkillers now thank fuck.
My arsehole is killing me, mang
>>29562434
Or just fucking squat without needing some bitch ass stool. I've been shitting correctly as long as I can remember. I don't see how squatting on the seat is any harder than sitting. If anything sitting is harder because then you have no think about all the gross things your butt is then touching. It's much easier to just change socks on the rare occasions I don't shower immediately after shitting.
>>29561788
>>she screams "meu deus do ceu" and "nao acredito"
fucking kek. You should have turned to her and winked.
I have pretty much only shit blood since January. About every 2-3 days I get a bit of liquid shit but blood is mixed in as well.
My body might an hero for me, and I would be eternally grateful.
>chronic constipation
>every shit is a struggle
>anxiety gives me painful, cold sweating diarrhea fits that leave my asshole leaking blood
>mfw people are able to have normal shits and not even think twice about it
>>29560950
b-but how do I stare at my phone as I pinch off my fatties?
>mfw this thread made me have to take a shit
>mfw it was completely normal and unremarkable
>mfw myvaginawas bleeding because Igot fucked by Chad last night
>>29562753
I thankfully have no constipation but I get diarrhea whenever I'm anxious, when I'm around someone I'm attracted to, when I'm cold and when I go abroad. It's fucking annoying
>>29560800
Me too. It's cuz I'm a drunk. I haven't had a shit that couldn't pass through a screen door in months.
>>29562753
>tfw I can only shit every 3 weeks
>tfw it feels like I'm going to die every time
jesus this is terrible
>>29560140
>on an airplane to nippon
>haven't shat for the entire ride
>ate a lot before I left because airplane food is atrocious
>urge to shit appears mid flight
>hold it in
>allow it to grow
>hours pass
>plane lands
>we go to our apartment
>finally decide to shit
>magnificent brown anaconda snakes from my anus
>from my large intestine
>slightly poking out over the rim
>flush
>flush again
>not going down
>flush seven times and manually force it down the S-bend
>finally goes down
>walk out of bathroom smiling
the nips couldn't handle my western ogre shit
>>29560140
This fucking thread, Jesus Christo
