Why shouldn't I improve myself r9k?
Most people don't change. We just are who we are. True change is exceedingly difficult - going against your programming.
I've read that if you force yourself to do something for three weeks it becomes a habit. Not true in my case. I always leave my shoes, wallet, keys and cell phone in random locations. I decided to force myself to always put them in the same spot. I kept it up for months. Habit now, right? Nope. Without constant effort I instantly revert to my old habit of just dropping them wherever. Even now I constantly am picking up my stuff from where I dropped it instinctively and putting it in the right spot.
Given how hard it is for me to change such minor things, how can I hope to make real improvements?
My attention span is shattered. I struggle to complete books. I go through at a pace of about one a month. Maybe less. I'm constantly getting notices on my phone, opening a new tab, etcetera. It's infuriating. My understanding of everything is superficial. I've heard about that, I've skimmed a wikipedia page about that, I've seen a YouTube video about that, etc. I don't know A LOT about anything. I haven't done anything worthwhile. I haven't built or made anything.
I've always been a lanky skeleton. I want to change that and become big and bulky. I've tried exercise and diet changes in the past. I could never keep them up.
Like I mentioned change is hard. Well, unless you use drugs. Adderall and testosterone. Adderall and work through some programming and machine learning courses. Testosterone to bulk up.
I've done some research. You don't actually need to exercise to gain muscle mass while taking a good dose of testosterone. In the paper I read, one group did exercises and placebo, another did exercises and testosterone, another just did testosterone. Exercise group gained 3 lbs of muscle a month, e+t group gained 15, and testosterone alone gained 11.
>>29556951
People don't change. "People do change!" is just a false meme.
I can't help but feel like the judicious use of drugs would make me a better person. Plus, it would be much easier than trying to change on my own.
In the past, I've held off out of fear of consequences. But now, I'm not so sure I should keep holding off.
I could find whatever the silk road equivalent is, get a PO box or something similar, pay cash for it. Have my drugs shipped to me. Maybe I'd need to figure out how to test for purity and all that.
Alternatively, I know there are "Low testosterone clinics" which are basically just gimmicks to get people prescriptions for testosterone. I could probably see therapists or psychiatrists or whoever and complain my way into an adderall prescription.
Should I?
>>29557017
That's kind of my point. My question is: Should I just use drugs to force the kind of changes I want?
>>29557029
>>29556951
>drugs will save me!
Wrong. Absolutely, utterly wrong.
Have fun with your hypogonadism and amphetamine addiction. Drugs won't solve a fundamental defect in character.
>>29557046
No. You just need to accept reality and get on with your life.
>>29557098
>hypogonadism
This condition is uncommon, and it goes away when you stop using testosterone. I could use it for a few months to bulk up (11 lbs a month won't take long for me to get to a respectable weight) and then taper off. Maybe do some kind of minimal maintenance exercise.
As for amphetamine addiction, it is a risk, but people who get legitimately prescribed amphetamines run that risk too. If they could do it, I could.
>>29556951
Excellent post.
All i can say is try to improve things that don't go against your natural programming.
I have always been shy, but now i'm a social animal because I wasn't socially developed.
>>29556951
Not gonna make it
You have no idea what the fuck youre doing. Adderall is an appetite suppressant.
Steroids are expensive, and 100x more useful if paired with good diet and training
Odds are you will bail on this retarded idea
If you go through, you will end up as a skeleton with gyno, addicted to adderall because you wont cycle properly.
Do it desu. You will end up with tits and you can become a trap and chop off your dick like the fag you are.
>Mfw im on 40dbol 500test e with arimi on hand, clomid pct supped with all the remaining arimi
>Mfw benched 375
>mfw fookin shredded
>mfw 0 side effects
Read up on your shit nigger
>>29557340
no amount of muscle bulk or amphetamine induced mania will fix your intrinsic misery as a person. Go ahead and try though, I want the 'after' post detailing how it all went wrong.
>>29557507
Actually, I have done real research on the subject. Testosterone alone, without exercise, is nearly as effective as testosterone with exercise, which is about 5 times as effective as exercise.
As for reduced appetite from adderall, if it gets to be too bad, I can just sip milk all day.
>>29557456
>I have always been shy, but now i'm a social animal because I wasn't socially developed
Wait, how do you mean? How can you be a social animal if you aren't socially developed?
>>29558179
>real research
>Is going to do test and not work out
What the fuck is wrong with you? Anybody who ever runs a cycle has the regret of not training hard enough during it. Youre not going to train at all? Seriously, who the hell thinks like this? Test without excercise is nothing compared to test with excercise. Guys on TRT are not fucking huge.
I dont even need to argue. Youre just going to waste money, make 0 gains, and get high estro with no pct or antis on hand. Enjoy being a skeleton with tits and 0 gains
