>be me
>be obsessing over cute girl for weeks but not doing anything because of exams
>exam period coming to an end, finally talk to her for like five hours
>she's everything I thought and more and for some reason I don't sperg out talking to her, actually relax for once
>start messaging her
>she's so perfect, really funny, beautiful yet modest, smart but humble all this great stuff
>talk to her all week for hours each day
>don't invite her to events because I don't want to seem too needy, too overbearing
>go to a party she's at on friday, get on well again but don't see too much of her
>vivid memory of me really drunk at 3AM staring across the room at her
>something in her eyes I couldn't put my finger on, just looked a bit odd
>next day I invite her to a local gig with me
>get a message in return saying that she thinks I should know that she likes me and is a lot of conflict but as of thursday she has a boyfriend
It was guilt in her eyes.
How can I be angry at someone who was so nice to me?
>I ask her if I was too bad or too slow
>"too slow"
>"sorry"
I thought I was gonna make it robots. I thought I was gonna make it.
I believe in you anon!
In spite of how much unlucklessness you've been afflicted with here, this must've shown you that you can make it! Just be that much more confident next time and alert the girl sooner to your feelings!
Hugs and kisses! I love you!
>>29542700
Literally the nicest thing I've ever seen here.
Thank you.
>>29542729
Aww we always need to be heaved up sometimes, and not let ourselves toxically relapse into some haze of pejorative sentiments!
I'd hope that with some nudging towards to positivity on my part, that this regrettably unconclusive experience with this girl can be something to learn from, and not some pretense for you to become a hateful spiteful person c:.
You've done well anon! You've been brave for being this outgoing already, and apparently had swayed this girl to you! Next time, you'll do it!
And spread the positivity for the next sad person you'll meet on here!
>>29542770
I've always seen people around me have bad moments like this and decide they hate women.
I told a good friend about it and he said "just fucking females man, you can't trust them", and I told him to fuck off.
I'm better than that. It hurts like hell but I've only decisively lost if I get nothing out of it.
I've told her how I feel, but when I see her next I'm going to tell her that however much I might not be good enough for her, our connection was real and we should stay friends, even if I won't try anything.
I can't hold the sunrise, but that doesn't make it any less beautiful.
>>29542661
>don't invite her to events because I don't want to seem too needy, too overbearing
That's where you fucked up, man. You overthought it and wasted precious time in your effort to seem cool, and now the love of your life is swallowing Chad's load.
>>29542849
>I've told her how I feel, but when I see her next I'm going to tell her that however much I might not be good enough for her, our connection was real and we should stay friends, even if I won't try anything.
Ah blessed be the joys of friendship. I've never experienced either romance nor friendship ( :c lel ), but I feel that I'd much rather be gifted friendship over romance.
Don't worry about it anon! Just stay friends and live out continuing fun with this person you have so much affinity for! And with luck, you'll meet her friends that are like her and slay 'em qts!
Dieuvitesse anon!
Noone can have multiple crushes simultaneously, if they do they don't take at least one of them seriously. In this case she either doesn't take you or her boyfriend seriously as crushes, or just doesn't value you that much. Regardless, you're dodging a bullet.
Even if you did ask her out in time the fact that she was interested in another dude the same time as you means she probably would've cheated anyway.
>>29542924
>you can't be attracted to multiple people at once
What fucked up red pill gobbledygook is this?
>>29542661
>don't invite her to events because I don't want to seem too needy, too overbearing
It's that hesitation and concern that did it. But you shouldn't blame yourself. This at least shows that you can make it, and this happened before you got closer. At the same time, the fact she got a new boyfriend within that same week you had been talking to her means you really shouldn't blame yourself. She had feelings for both of you at once.
Brush yourself off, you will make it. This was more a problem of circumstance than anything else.
>>29542729
You're gonna make it man. What you did is how you get a gf.
This is what all the people here think is life's great mystery and find impossible to comprehend.
I'm sorry it didn't work out but with that mentality you'll do well I'm sure.
Personally a tip from me is to ask out a girl relatively quickly, just for a date or something. If a girl seems nice ask her out to coffee to get to know her, that way your relationship with her implies that it can lead to something romantically rather than you just becoming friends with her.
>>29542924
You know I think you're right man. My headcanon is that the other guy saw me coming and realised that it was a matter of time for me (I'm not usually arrogant but I'm pretty sure I'm better than the other guy) so he had to give an ultimatum really soon. Makes me sad but I think you're objectively right and that's why I'm left with those two cases.
1. She never thought of me that way and she thought I was just a good friend the whole way through, in that case I can just go back to that stage because I did legitimately like her as a person as well as being infatuated.
2. She doesn't take her boyfriend seriously. Now that's a dark path but I would still want to stick around. Not like a vulture or anything, I'm not going to be waiting around for a breakup when I will swoop in. No, I'll stick around and be a really good friend but tell her that I still feel the same. I won't ever make a move, but I'll just stay around, being the better man. I won't tempt her or try to break them up, but she will be left with the fact that I could take everything she said and be stronger than it.
Get a dog, OP
They'll love you no matter what
>>29543039
Like, you can be mildly interested in multiple people at once but you can't have a serious crush on more than one person. It sows the seeds for cheating.
>>29543167
Now to be fair my current/only SO was dating a girl when I met him, and I had no intention of doing the whole "let me convince you to break up with her and date me instead" thing because if he actually did that then what's to say he wouldn't do the same to me? That being said, he eventually did break up with her partway through our friendship, and after a couple months we started dating and have been continuing to do so for ~2 years. Ending up with her isn't totally out of the question but it also kind of sets you up to just orbit her indefinitely or keep the infatuation up, which is never a good thing.
>>29542661
>says that she likes you
>instead of her getting of her dumbass and do something she tells you that you're "too slow"
>too slow
Fucking cunts
holy shit
I am beyond mad
>>29543268
This I never understood, the fear of initiation when it comes with females in a relationship.
are they afraid of getting rejected or is it something more?
>>29543268
to be fair I did ask her if I was just too slow
>>29543267
I get what you're coming from and I know it sets me up for indefinite orbiting but you have to understand that orbiting is my default state. Orbiting basically means that I don't have to worry about anything because none of my decisions matter. Not being an orbiter this year is why I've fucked up my uni exams so much.
I'm not going to be a dedicated orbiter, I won't be searching out for her constantly but when I see her I'll be a good friend.
I won't be so close that meeting someone else would be a problem, but I was pretty obsessed with her before I ever talked to her so the only way I can get rid of the infatuation is finding things to dislike about her, which I'd have to do through talking to her.
Thanks for all this guys, I usually see a lot of cunts on this board, but in this thread you're all reasonable and nice; even the "swallowing Chad's load" guy makes a good point.
What really got through to me though was that I never once struggled to talk to her, even though I struggle with every other girl.
It makes me think that every awkward spaghetti guy was just talking to the wrong girl. It took me 21 years to find one girl that I could talk to and was worth it. How long is it gonna take me for the second?
>>29543728
You know they're out there and you know you can do it. That's what matters. You know it's possible, so chin up
This is the healthiest thread I've seen on this board since the board was created.
I'm mystified as to what about this thread is making all of the trolls give honest answers. Is it the dog picture? Is it the relateable story? Is it the OP's innocence and total lack of arrogance or entitlement?
