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over the past year, my life has gone in a completely different direction. the shit that happens to me on a regular basis makes me depressed and isolated. here's the story, to the best of my knowledge.

>i lived next to a narcotics agent, unbeknownst to me.
>smoked weed, random drugs in high school.
>came back from university, blazing in and around the house.
>no big deal it seemed.

>started dropping acid and doing hard drugs daily
>dad got a phone call saying that one of the phone numbers he pays for was being used for illegal activity.
>both of us brushed it off.

>one day at work, a group of men that fit the profile of an undercover cop, sat at my job and watched me.
>some had normal conversations and others just stared angrily/analytically at me.
>i told a coworker to tell me if they were following me with their eyes when i walked around the store.
>she said, yeah they are.
>realized i was under investigation.
>noticed regular citizens watching me, scratching their noses and tugging their ears while making eye contact with me. had no idea what it meant, but it bothered me.

>i dropped acid one day on the subway and it all went to hell. they were everywhere. everyone seemed to be aware of what was going on in my body and were hyperaware of my body language.

>this has never happened before, much drug use in the past never amounted to any psychotic tendencies. but this "surveillance" or whatever you want to call it was REAL.

>for the past year, everyone i meet is in on it. my father looked me in the eyes as he reached up to tug on his ear for no reason when i discovered my toothbrush had been used to clean the toilet. i had no idea what the fuck that was about.

>i've been in hospitals, therapist offices, all sorts of places. i go to work, school, starbucks.
>somedays it's not too bad, somedays it's pretty bad.

>i'm moving out at the end of the month.
>wish me luck.