How depressed have you been lately, robots? Has it gotten worse or better?
>21 y/o NEET due to bad life decisions and lack of guidance, have constant feelings of regret, anxiety and hopelessness
>am lucky if I get more than 4 hours of sleep in one single night due to this
>constantly feel tired as shit, don't want to get out of bed and perforrm the same grind every day but my parents would get suspicious if I didn't act normal
>no appetite ever, have to force myself to eat high calorie dense foods to reach 2000kcal a day and even that seems to be a major challenge
>more sensitive than ever to everyday sounds, parents know this and don't give a single shit which makes me even more anxious
>am still a kissless virgin which is probably one of my most irrelevant concerns right now but it still adds up to my total regrets
>no IRL friends, can't or don't want to maintain them
>have an ugly face (mainly a wide, bulbous, large nose with a bump and deviated septum) that has even been deteriorating further as I'm growing more moles under my eyes, every time my acne fades I get scars that look like dents, fixing this with surgery would cost a shitton of money that I don't have
>am massively insecure due to this, never or only rarely leave the house due to this, could interact with physical people but don't want to
>live in rural southern europe so I never had a job, little hope and willpower to get and maintain one, even if I did get one it would pay me 700 euro/month at most
>finished 12th grade but not in a traditional high school, so I can only go to vocational schools and not college which I regret massively now
>if I wanted to study the nearest vocational school is about 25km away and only offers 3 two-year courses I'm not particularly interested in and might not even be accepted at all due to the immense regional demand for these courses, even if I got accepted I have next to no starting knowledge for two of these
It doesn't get any better for me.
I'm sleeping most of the day and am up for like 3 hours at most, I don't know that I'm depressed anymore, I just gave up I suppose.
>>29479735
Also
>barely or not interested in any of my hobbies lately, my backlog keeps getting bigger with new seasonal anime episodes that I used to watch
>even if I wanted to get professional help I have no money for a private therapist, nearest state therapist would be about 75km away and knowing how shitty the state healthcare in this country is they would probably just hook me up to countless of meds and not give a shit about anything else, have no desire to go either because I have serious suicide plans for the next years or perhaps even months if my situation manages to get even shittier
My worst fears are attempting suicide but being caught or failing, possibly ending up with severe brain damage and revealing my intentions to my family. That, and becoming an uneducated low life that has to work horrible dead-end wageslave jobs for the rest of my life, since getting any higher education in my current situation is going to be a nightmare, if possible at all.
I should probably just continue being a hopeless NEET fuck and hope that my mood improves by itself somehow since I can't really achieve any of my career prospects, and then when my father dies (he's the one who keeps the money in the household in), kill myself. Who knows when that will happen in his current physical state (he's 69 and had me when he was 48, which explains my genetic ineptitude), by my late 20s he'll be probably entirely sick of me already.
Fuck my entire life.
Nothing is going right, I've made a lot of changes in the past year trying to get my life sorted but it feels like everything is just getting worse and worse. I'm very sad and wish I had somebody to cuddle with.
I lost months of /fit/ progress thanks to one bad week.
Hahahahah a hahahahah FAGGOTS
>>29479969
I wouldn't even be able to get fit if I wanted to. The nearest gym is too far away, I have no money to pay any fees and even just bulking up is a major challenge for me, I had been trying to eat 400-500kcal over my recommended intake every day for some time and I haven't gained a single fucking pound of weight. It's just pointless or ridiculously hard for some people, especially when your personal issues makes it hard to focus on it properly.
>>29479875
Just kill yourself, man. I don't mean that in a disparaging way. I'm relating to most of your issues right now and am planning on ending it this year.
>>29480297
I wish I could do it. While I don't give a single shit to what happens to my asshole family after I die, getting myself actually killed is the real issue for me.
Living with your parents once you're really depressed is about the worst thing that you could ever imagine. I could try to hang myself but since we live in the same house, it's likely that I'll be caught by at least one family member since I have no good suicide spots anyway.
If I drive to a distant place, the same thing can happen. It takes about 20 minutes to die from hanging and anything can happen in that time.
No easy access to guns, high buildings, trains or anything. No access to exit bags. If I tried carbon monoxide they would find me out fast. Pills are too weak and I likely have no easy access to them anyway. Bleeding out isn't effective and I have no idea what I would do when that method inevitably fails.
Fuck all of this, I can't believe that euthanasia isn't legal yet.
>>29480422
Can't you just get a hotel room or something and hang yourself?
>>29480813
I could probably find a hotel room but I would need money to get in there, and the room would also need to have a good structure so I can tie the rope properly without it collapsing. Chances are that I would probably not be caught , but I still don't know.
>>29480891
I hate my life too friend, don't worry I hope we will make it through this
Used to be severely depressed as well, but now I just don't care anymore
I spend all day watching anime,reading manga and listening to relaxing ambient music
Sometimes I go out to take a breath and that's it, I don't even have the desire to have friends or a gf anymore
>>29480954
Did you ever stop caring about your hobbies? I wish I could watch anime like in the past again but most of them remind me of what I didn't have or will never achieve, it's painful for me to keep this up.
>>29481047
Yes, when I was depressed I couldn't watch anything without feeling like shit, I was actually jealous of how successful the characters were
Now I just feel happy for them, maybe I've unconsciously started to detach myself from reality and to self-insert into the characters
