Write a letter to someone, whether they'll read them or not. It could be your parents, your oneitis, The Girl Who Got Away (TM), etc. I will read all the letters and respond to them if I've got anything to say.
Dear Mom,
You don't remember this, but you tried to kill me. You were very drunk and I think you were manic too, perhaps even psychotic. You came out of the kitchen, brandishing a big knife at me. I dodged all your swings and made it into my room. I had my full weight pressed on the door, so you started stabbing at it with the knife, over and over again. You were screaming at me the whole time, telling me I was worthless. It felt like it lasted a lifetime.
You don't remember, but I do. I keep trying to move on, but that day won't leave me. I keep having nightmares over and over again, where I'm being chased, tortured, and murdered. Every time I hear someone shout, I feel like I'm going to get murdered. Sometimes I have very vivid flashbacks, where the memory replays itself in my head. It makes me go through the same fear all over again.
So I wish you'd just done it. I wish you killed me when I was 14, so I didn't have to keep living like this. You would've rescued me from living this fucking worthless piece-of-shit life. I wish it had just happened, so I wasn't left here waiting, worrying, being afraid for when death is finally going to come. I can't do this anymore. This is no way for anyone to live.
Please, just kill me already.
>>29476464
Dear J
I love you. I miss you. I think about you all day and dream of you all night.
E
>>29476464
Let's have a murder suicide anon, it'll be like a date. We can do dinner and a movie first.
Dear bestfriend,
I'm sorry I won't be with you to watch your daughter grow up. Please don't think about me too much. Tell everyone it was an accident. Tell them I am grateful they witnessed my existence. I feel like I have done enough in life, I don't have anything else I want to do. Every day feels like something extra and unnecessary suffering. Believe me when I say there was nothing you could've done. I couldn't keep waiting for the smoking to catch up with me. I can't stand living this unhappy life anymore. The worst thing I have ever done is inflicting this sadness on people who knew me and I'm truly sorry. But for once I want to be selfish. Thank you for everything.
>>29476464
To Me:
You're going to make it, I know you will. You've gotten a job at the local theater, you're talking with an anon who's gonna help you finish a script, and you have a girl who might or might not like you.
Just stop spending those empty days waking up at 2PM and rolling through Facebook until someone can drag you out to go to Bob Evans.
Dear all the girls i was "friends" with
Turns out that being too awkward and shy to ever talk to any of you without being talked to is not good for building friendships. I thought for over a year that I finally figured out the whole talking to girls thing, who cares if I'm not dating any of you you're all cool people as friends. But hey, if you are quiet and shy, especially around girls then don't expect a good friendship. I don't expect you all to go out of your ways to give me attention when other people in your lives give the same attention you give them, the world does not bend over to make betas happy.
I feel very pathetic when I'm with some of you and you suddenly start your own conversation as if I'm not there. today you did that and it's what pushed me to this realization.
sorry for being a shitty friend, don't feel guilty you do not owe anything to a person who barely gives
Dear M & S,
I saw you two about two weeks ago, right? I wish I had said hello, I'm just too fucking weird though. Hope you are doing well.
Dear Future Me
Why haven't you killed yourself you fucking loser? I bet you're worse than ever now holy shit.
>>29476464
BULLSHIT OP. My mom did this same shit to me. Don't buy that fucking I don't remember shit. This is what borderline psycho fucks do. Google Gas lighting. Fuck your mom. If you haven't severed contact with her, you should.
E,
I think I broke my dick from too much masturbation, call back later.
J
