>tfw you could be chad but youre afraid to feel sexual pleasure cause of associated guilt, shame and fear
I've lived long enough to realise 'if's' are bullshit. If you could've, you would've. I've been a neet for a long time, In the beginning i said to myself i could change my life around anytime i wanted, but when i do take myself seriously enough to try and change I realise how difficult it actually was. This realisation was the first step towards taking mself more seriously to do something with my life. And yes im still a huge failure.
>Got my bumhole fiddled with by my cousin's colon destroyer when I was a wee lad
>Participating in anything remotely sexual ends with me unintentionally blacking out the event, sometimes vomiting
>Only able to remember what happens before and after, and rarely nothing in between
>This has been going on for 4 fucking years now
I literally feel guilty about the events for a day, try to recall them two or three days later, and can't remember a fucking thing. It's like something switches inside. Nothing works either. Tried focusing on objects in the room, the time of day, or things like that.
It's fucking weird. Definitely have some neurological shit going on. Therapy didn't help either.
Pic unrelated.
>>29438744
ur a fool
>>29438786
OP here maybe you should read some Wilhelm Reich thats been helping me a lot.
Just cause someone has a few strange ideas doesn't mean he's a quack
>>29438868
Might do that.
But I've tried so many ways to negate this issue and none of them have worked. It's like trying to remember what happened after a night of heavy drinking. It's bullshit. Because of this I can't even have intimate relationships. Trying to explain it just ends with them getting hysterical and developing self esteem issues.
>>29438940
He postulated that the libido is actually a physical vital energy in the body that naturally expands (orgasm is the fundamental expression of this)
Now all organisms have a natural tendency to go toward nutrients and away from toxins. I would say whatever happened to you imprinted a fear response that you re-live every time you get close to having sex causing the vital energy to contract harshly leaving you unconscious.
Psychologists don't talk about Reich because they want to keep you on the couch as long as possible to milk your wallet.
For me I don't even get that close because the fear starts when we are talking and I make them think im not attracted to them. have all but stopped talking to girls at this point
