/r9k/ is 95% bait and cuck shit now. Let's have a good old fashioned greentext thread. I propose we have at least one good greentext thread every day.
Have you ever been arrested or had any close calls with the police?
>>29388305
>be op
>start a greentext thread
>dont greentext
>Anno Domini 2016
OP here, heres one of mine
>junior year of college
>hanging out with friend and drinking some beers
>remember that some kid at a party gave me some Xanax one night a couple weeks before that I'd stashed away
>friend encourages me to take them
>not very familiar with Xanax, mostly just drank and smoked weed, but fuck it
>take two
>we keep drinking more beer and eventually move on to liquor
>friend tells me im drinking pretty fast and I should slow down
>I didn't listen
>we go to a party that night
>I'm way more fucked up than I realize
>walk outside at one point
>decide to take a leak on a sexy bright green slugbug in the parking lot
>as I'm doing this, another friend yells out "Anon, it's the cops!"
>yell out "Fuck the police!"
>don't remember if I didn't believe him or why I did that
>"What did you just say? 'Fuck the police'? What was that buddy?"
>turns out the cops really did roll up and one was behind me right then
>asks me whose car I was pissing on and keeps giving me shit
>at first I try to apologize, but eventually fucked up me tried to make a run for it
>didn't get far at all because I was so fucked up
>end up in handcuffs begging the cop to let me go
>he breathalyzes me after threatening to charge me with a sex crime for pissing on the car
>blow over
>he writes me up since I'm underage (just two months before I turned 21) and lets me go
>end up going to court
>get off with nothing more than "refusal of a pbt" since my lawyer was a beast (just a citation with a $150 fine, doesn't stay on my record, basically a traffic ticket)
>thank God every day since
>ordered weed twice off of the dark web
>first time it got caught by customs without me knowing
>second one arrives succesfully
>police got a search warrant and found my 2nd bag
>had to go to the police station to give a confession
>>29388518
What happened after that anon? You're leaving out all the good stuff.
>>29388530
I got a $500 fine. Other than that, nothing happened. I was underage at the time.
>>29388558
How old were you? What did your parents say?
>>29388567
I was 17. My mom didn't freak out or rage as she tends to do. She just told me to never do it again. My dad still doesn't know.
If you're fucking your girl over cam for money, are you the cuckold or are the viewers cuckolds?
>>29388305
>15 year old shit head
>skater douche with a squad of essentially the same guys, we were making a video
>get out of a gas station after copping some Arizona teas and some snacks
>see empty cop car parked in front
>one of the guys pipes up "bro what if like one of us Ollie onto the hood of the cop car and do a trick off it?"
>fuckyeahigotthis.jpg
>Ollie onto hood, it's a lot smoother than I thought it would be
>bust my ass just as cop steps out of gas station
>everyone bolts, but I wasn't fast enough, get tackled
>get "restrained" and seated in front of cop car while he calls my parents
>get bitched at, parents have to pay for new hood even though there was no damage
>didn't get charged with any crime since the cop said I was cooperative
>fucking faggot friends didn't even get decent shot
>>29388305
>>29388468
>>29388518
>>29388645
Criminal Scum
>>29388608
I kind of know that feel. My mom never told my dad about the incident I mentioned in my greentextbecause he was dying of late stage prostate cancer and actually passed away before the trial
>>29388645
You sound like a normie tbhfamalam
>be me
>summer after grade 8
>friend calls me in the dead of night to come over, says he has a surprise
>go over
>friend and his cousin are at the basement bar
>twenty or so shots lined up on the bar
>first time drinking but don't want to let on
>take 6-7 shots each and roam around town throwing firecrackers like morons
>cops are called
At this point we are stumbling around through people's backyards, being louder than we think and generally being obnoxious.
>walking through a backyard
>from a short distance away we hear,
>"FREEZE"
>we all break into a sprint, running between houses
>"FREEZE, OR I'LL TASE YOU"
>FUCK
>friend blows past me, cousin goes off in another direction
>turn a corner
>quickly roll under a deck
>try to remain silent as i hear the cop's utility belt jangle past as he chases nobody
Now we are about three blocks away from our neighborhood, and there are cops everywhere because they had nothing better to do.
>friend comes back to the yard I'm in
>we have a chuckle about losing the cop but we decide to split up
>I eventually decide to hide next to a wood pile and wait the cops out
Long story short, didn't wait long enough, I stood up and started walking back after about an hour only to catch a flood light on my face with multiple cops running at me yelling. Like fuck man, I was only fourteen, chill out. I got taken home and they talked to my parents, don't think they realized i was even drunk. My friend made it back, but ultimately got caught out when his cousin was brought back in cuffs.
>>29388770
So they're allowed to hit you with a few joules and stop your fucking heart dead, but god forbid anyone suck your dick! That might cause lasting damage!!
>>29388769
I might be. There so much controversy over what is or is not a normie.
I like you guys though, whether you hate me or not.
>>29388811
Have you had sex before desu?
>be twenty
>just quit job
>about to move cross country again
>decide to buy bag of weed for the trip
>fuckyeah.jpg
>acquire weed, leave place of purcase
>literally within a block of place be surrounded by no less than three cop cars
>get searched even when I told them no you can't search me
>feel under my feet 'checking for weapons', find my bag, get dragged off, charged with possession, buddy gets DUI
>sentenced to six weeks of substance abuse classes and $1000 fine
>end up doing three months of substance classes before release because the guy running it didn't tell my probation officer I was still going after the three weeks were up and was scamming the state
>end up on jail work crew to pay off fines even though I'd once had the money to pay them myself, my parents' car kept breaking down and I paid for repairs
And thus began my NEEThood.
>back in jan
>attempt suicide
>walking around bleeding from my neck
>police called, tackle me down, drag me to hospital, then psych unit
>cute girls everywhere, everyone really friendly
>literally the best I've ever had in my life
>>29388862
*six weeks, not three
*best week i've ever had in my life
christ.
>>29388305
yes I called the police for help instead I got harassed and got ticketed. cops are fucking pigs don't trust them.
>>29388330
Read the next post, fucking cuck piece of shit.
>Be me.
>Have mental breakdown last Tuesday
>Sleep in car to see if I will feel better in the morning
>I don't
>Give my stuff away, leave my goodbyes and go to cabin to find rifle
>Fuck me there isn't one here. Knives will do
>Go to pond and find a tree to sit under.
>Cut my wrists open
>Been drinking way too heavily for this bullshit to work. Blood is pitch black and dripping like molasses.
>Fucking pissed
>Drive back to town to go get a gun
>Stopped by cops
>Somehow let me go without forcing me into a hospital
>Still don't feel any better
>>29388888
nice quints there anon
i like them, they're pretty aesthetic
>Be me
>2011
>Took a phone call
>Standing very close to the Police
>>29389124
hehe good 1 xd nah i get it, nah i get it hol up *doesnt* fuk thit dam
>>29388305
>You fat fucks are like the most boring un ambitious persons to ever live. Im here as an 18 year old male who lives on his own saying your adult life is what YOU make it. In this way, it almost becomes a self fulfilling prophecy, you will become a boring asshole if you tell yourself you need to. I regularly stay up playing video games, reading comic books ... I still love to get an ice cream cone, I don't really care about my mothers advice at all because our lives are so different that I don't really know what shed could offer advice on, we are close in our own way though. I make my living as a professional jazz musician , and I am very lucky to be one of the more in demand jizz soloists and trombonists in the Boston area. I make 98 percent of my income through gigs (casuals as they call them) and recording dates. I go to the gym because I care about pussy. My point being, just because you get older and grow up doesn't mean you start liking new things, or that you become a different person. The people who "claim" they do are liars or have simply lost their true way.
>>29389186
Pssst
Nothin personnel, kid
>have a house party
>get drunk
>start flirting with a girl
>touch and grope her
>go to bed with her
>a big fat gay tries to rape me while I try to rape the girl
>mfw
>>29388305
>stay in house all the time
>never really break any crimes
>see police all the time
>kind of wish I had a steady fairly respectable job like them
>realize I probably wouldn't pass the normie check to be a police officer
>>29389207
>jizz soloist
kek
>be 36, single
>6'4'', bit chubby, but good looks
>successful with own small company
>literally the "good man" every woman wants marry
>start dating a woman claimed to be my age
>charming lady, solid 8.5, funny, genuinely nice
>first two dates really nice, but nothing happening, take it slow Anon
>3rd date she reveals that she has a son
>usually the dealbreaker for me, but she just too cute, so OK
>invites me to her place
>fool around on the sofa
>see picture with of her and son on coffee table
>son is a niglet
>that's your son? Y-y-yes, but he's a really sweet kid
>I think this situation is not new to her
>sorry babe, deal's off
>don't want niglets in family, also don't want people to laugh behind my back
>big crying starts, i'm so unhappy, men shun me because of my son
>there, there, you're nice you'll find someone, don't call me ever
>walk out of door
>two days later read in paper that a woman drowned her son in bathtub
>then tried to killer herself but failed, called police
>they mention address, it's her
>feels bad man
http://www.swp.de/ulm/lokales/polizeibericht/Mutter-hat-ihr-Kind-in-der-Badewanne-ertraenkt;art3458,1672118
>>29388468
20 y/o is underage in the USA?
>>29389707
I bet she was just looking for financial help from you.
>>29388862
All over marijuana?
>>29389707
>feels bad man
Don't. You did the right thing.
>>29390272
Don't they all?
>>29390496
thanks, anon
>>29389624
>never really break any crimes
Sounds like you didn't really pass primary either anon
>>29389707
Absolut ekelhaft, du hast das richtige getan, kannst dir selbst keine Vorwuerfe machen.Ulm ist ne Stunde weg von mir, bock mal einen heben zu gehen?
>>29390161
For drinking, yes. 21 is legal drinking age. Bars won't even let you in the door anymore unless you can drink, even if you're the DD(designated driver.)
>>29390384
the first part happened about 10 years ago, haven't been able to find a single job since, even though I completed all the shit I was ordered to do there's no conviction on my record. Even McDonald's won't hire me, and they hire fucking felons. I'm less appealing to a potential workplace than a goddamn felon. Let that sink in for a second.
>>29390601
Danke. Stund weg? Bisch aber net aus RV oder? Wohn leider nimmer im Laendle. SWH jetzt.
>>29388627
>Am I a cuck for having sex with my gf?
Holy shit this site and the fear being a cuck... you're a cuck for asking that.
>>29390815
Bin ca 30min suedlich von Stuttgart, Boeblingen falls dir das was sagt.
>>29390877
Hajo. Urgrossvater isch von Horb.
>>29390864
>driving somewhere
>staying in right lane most of the trip
>want to get into passing lane bc I have to make a left turn
>can't get in, too many car
heh dam got cucked outta my turn xd imma cuck hehe cuck..
>>29390915
Dann bist du ja noch naeher.
Was war das fuer ein Gefuehl als du das Bild vom kind gesehen hast?
>>29390924
>Hanging around in cucking room
>Want go to kitchen and grap a cuck-cat snack
>Hit my toe on the cucking-room table
>Ow! My cucking toe! Cucking shit it hurts!
>Cucked by a damn table!
>>29391191
Epin post! Simply epine! :^)
>>29389707
>there there, you're nice, you'll find someone
>don't ever call me
>>29389707
If this is true, that's really fucked up
