Who /devilish/ here?
>go to store to buy some chips
>take out change from my fannypack
>count really slow to the point where a big line starts forming
>hear loud sighs and grunts
>as I'm about to hand the cashier the exact change I drop it on purpose and say "oops, I'm all thumbs today"
>>29367284
(You)
bloblobloxbloxox
>>29367284
This is a 100% true story from yesterday.
> at Subway
> almost finished ordering my sandwich
> "sub sauce", please
> guy puts on sub sauce
> notice it's not enough
> don't say anything
> "and salt & pepper"
> guy puts down sub sauce bottle
> guy picks up salt & pepper shaker
> "actually can I get some more sub sauce?"
> guy PUTS THE SALT & PEPPER SHAKER BACK DOWN
> guy PICKS THE SUB SAUCE BOTTLE BACK UP
> puts on more sub sauce
It's like he's my slave.
>at store buying food
>cashier rings it up and tells me to have a nice day
>shoot her
>>29367284
>Be me
>Driving to the store
>Need to take a piss
>Get to bathroom
>OPsy doodles! need to take a poo poo as well
>Pull down my pants
>Pull down my underwear
>People can see me as I walk toward the stall
>Say "Momma!"
>They all look in disgust
>Get into stall and lock it
>Try to piss and piss all over the floor
>Say "Dadda!"
>Time for my shit
>Shit on the floor
>a fart rings out as I do so
>Hear a guy say "What the fuck is wrong with you?!?"
>Respond with "FUCK OFF NORMIE!"
>I'm finished my poo poo and pee pees
>Pick up my poo poo off the ground
>Rub it all over my hands and make a message on the stall wall saying "REEEEEEE" and draw a photo of devlish pepe
>Walk out the stall with my pants sill down
>Throw left over poo poo at a man taking a piss on the urinal
>Run away
>Trip over because pants are down
>I get back up and my pants are covered with poo poo
>Walk out the bathroom and find mommy
>Wipe my shitty hands on her new dress that she bought
/DEVILISH/
>>29367284
> tell my job I love working there and begging them not to fire me
> actually waiting for them to fire me so I can get unemploymentbux while looking like a loyal wagie to the end
/scandalous/
>>29367284
>see a husky sitting outside guarding the shop
>don't pet the husky sign
>pet the husky anyway
>be me senior year on the last day
>I walk into the bathroom and take a shit in my hand (Covered in toilet paper)
>Wait for someone to come into the bathroom and start pooping
>Rush out my stall and throw shit at his head
>Run to my car and leave never finding out who I flinged shit at
>>29368725
That's an ultimate prank if its true.
>be brown
>go to crowded shopping mall
>mall is holding a memorial for terrorism or some shit
>run into the prank store and buy some fire crackers
>then run to another store and buy a towel
>wrap towel around head
>run to memorial and throw down firecrackers whilst screaming 'ALLAHU AKBAR'
>normies running in all directions
>suddenly a secuirty guard appears
>starts blasting his gun
>pull down my pants and do a steaming shit on the ground
>throw the shit at him
>lands in his mouth
>whilst hes distracted I take off all my clothes and run away
>manage to run home without getting caught or recognised since I changed my disguise
hehe nudding personnelly normals
>get on medicaid because poor white trash neet
>haven't been to dentist or brushed teeth in 10 years
>broke off one of my canines about a year ago but didn't get it looked at, go to dentist now that I'm on Medicaid
>almost every single tooth had a cavity with most having large visible holes.
>don't need any extractions or root canals surprisingly
>dentist and person who fills cavities beg me to brush and floss.
>still never do
>bleed all over the place when they go to fill my teeth, three per appointment
>still not going to take care of them once their fixed
>going to get wisdom teeth out next month
>all your dime, wagecucks.
>Play Overwatch
>Choose to play as Mercy
>Don't heal anyone, just use my shitty gun
>When people call for healing, look at them and wave "hi"
>have 16 items
>go in the 15 item or less express lane
>>29368512
Made me kek
>day after a big family party
>mom tells me to wash the dishes
>shoot them
