anyone feel like your depression is just the death of your old identity, like a snake shedding its skin, but now you're stuck in limbo and finding it hard to fully cross over to the new one?
why do you think its so hard to cross over?
do you think this theory is bullshit?
>>24396873
sounds liek bullshit depression is a chemical imbalance tbqh
>>24396873
I relate to this.
Since college began life has changed so dramatically-- thrust into adulthood with the mind of a child. I saw and experienced things I wasn't ready for psychologically, even though much of what I was exposed to were common rights of passage.
I've always had depression to some extent, but post high school has been a very difficult transition, and it's come on in absolute full force many times. It does feel like I'm changing, however, and things are starting to get easier. I'm getting a sense that something is just around the corner-- a big change.
I'm going to be transferring to a different college next year to go be with mygirlfriend, as well as pursue a different major. With it I'm sure it will bring about a huge shift in my personality. I'm both excited and terrified at this prospect, but anything is better than being stuck in this shithole depressive limbo 24/7. Whenever I'm alone, nothing feels real. I'm just whittling away the hours.
Depression could just be a meme. Remember, Sigmund Freud's ideas were all the rage when they first came out but are now regarded as bullshit. Cholesterol used to be regarded as something bad but is now seen as a protective substance that you're not supposed to get rid of through medication.
>>24397036
yeah its just a label that points to a kind of feeling many can relate to. what is it? cause? who knows.. our feels are probably just signals that try to get us to do survival/sex beneficial behaviors anyway.. fuck feels tbqh
>>24397036
>Depression could be a meme
>>24397077
This desu.
Back before I experienced clinical depression I was a completely different person. Now everything feels pretty numb and meaningless. Not sad, necessarily, at least most of the time.
It's not much of anything. At all. It's the worst.
>>24397064
Feels and sadness aren't the same as depression you doofus.
>>24397077
don't think hes denying the effects, just that we dont know WHAT and WHY, cause this shit is mad. thoughts literally build your world, they can stop your heart..
>>24397098
Oh man I can relate to you so much. The other day I had a day out if nowhere where I didn't only feel motivated to do things but I actually felt things. I felt happy and tired and frustrated and it was all so strange. It was how life felt years ago before even the twinge of depression showed. I was hopeful but the next day was back to feeling dull and empty.
>>24397098
>>24397127
ITT: crybabies
this is a philosophy thread stop fagging it up
>>24396873
So for those of you with depression or had depression, do you have clear memory of when you were depressed?
I can barely remember things from what happened where I was just going through the motions of daily life
>>24397137
past year has blazed by and i've done nothing
i dont really keep track of time anymore so i dunno how long its felt like
>>24397137
>>24397149
I can pinpoint chunks of time where it was really bad. Last year around this time was the height of it all:
-failing uni
-ditching classes
-not leaving my bed for days on end
-working a GOD AWFUL minimum wage job at a dollar tree
-being verbally abused on the regular by management
-overtime hours moved to the following week's paycheck so management could get away with not paying me what i deserved
-surrounded by low-lifes and failures
-waking up at three in the morning to stock shelves with overflowing freight to the point of sweating bullets
-seeing no purpose for my life
-friends all moved away or cold shouldering me for no reason
-existential crisis
-dealing with all sorts of feelings of self-hatred and wasted potential
-suicidal thoughts on the regular
-not understanding what was wrong
-having to hide it from everyone
at the height of it I remember I was stocking cleaning supplies. It was an early morning shift. I just started bawling staring at the racks, overcome with the shitty realization that everything that led up to this point was meaningless. I wanted to die. I couldn't take it anymore.
I got up, walked to the back isle, grabbed a bottle of bleach, and prepared to chug. My manager tackled me as I brought the bottle to my lips. Things got really weird after that. I think they were gonna fire me.
I quit before they got the chance to.
Things have gotten way better since then, even though I'm still battling with depression. I do feel like I'm transitioning, as I'm the samefag who posted >>24397013
From this time period, I don't remember a whole lot of other specific instances. It's just all one long god-awful blur.
>>24397351
Yeah, I have a similar experience except things never got too bad so there arent big events like that I can actually remember.
Hope everything gets better for you and the move to different college/majors works out.
>>24397431
Thank you. I have a feeling it will.
Worst case scenario, even if it doesn't I'll figure out a way to make things work. If it takes me longer to graduate, so be it. I've been through the shit on my own entirely before-- I feel like last winter prepared me for the worst of the worst.
I won't let this world fuck me like that again.
what you say mirrors my experience as a bipolar.
during manic phases I would create lots of regret for myself which would all come to bear during the depressive phase, eventually emerging a much different person
>>24396873
I am not depressed
You are not depressed
You just keep making excuses
Fuck off from this board for once
>>24397351
>I got up, walked to the back isle, grabbed a bottle of bleach, and prepared to chug. My manager tackled me as I brought the bottle to my lips.
Thats the funniest thing ive read in a long time, thanks anon
>>24396873
I agree with you OP
I've actually felt like I've been undergoing this during the past few weeks
>>24399174
my initial reaction was anger, but to be honest..
It is kind of a funny way to die. The more and more I think about it, the funnier it is. I would've been that guy who died chugging bleach in a dollar store.
My manager, some manlet failed norman, rescued me from myself slapstick style. That was the difference between being alive now and possibly being dead or disabled.
fucking kek, thank you, I suddenly feel so much better about it when I look at it from a comedic standpoint.
>>24397137
All 4 years of college are a blur to me. There are some specific events and classes I can remember from early on but the day-to-day was all exactly the same.
The most significant is I hardly remember interactions with people. I've had the exact same entire conversations multiple times with people because I couldn't remember that I had asked them the same exact questions before.
