I think of suicide more and more, not even in a sad way, but as a way out. I don't want to kill myself, but then I remember how easy it would be to crash my car into something while driving fast or even hanging myself. I finished high-school and now started going to uni, I have 5 years of torture ahead of me just so I can get a worthless diploma and become a wagekek, but if I don't finish it I'll end up being a NEET and I can't deal with failure, so the only logical thing is to kill myself.
tl;dr how to get my motivation back again and not kill myself in the next few years? ;_;inb4 nice blog faggot
I feel this feel, senpai
>>24361487
>future
>cures for cancer
>cyborg technology
>no need to work
>muslim takeover/apocalypse
>space exploration
Just hold on, 4/5 good things in the future is not to bad.
>>24361517
Where are you from? Tell me your story.
I'm an overachiever, but I can't force myself to study for university now, no matter how much I try, I have preliminary exams next week, but I barely touched my books. There's no way I can keep up with this for 5 years, maybe I'm not smart as I thought I was, I was always praised for being smart and it's one of the only assets I have/had. I can't accept that I'm a failure, I'd rather kill myself. It's like people except from me to be successful and I don't want to dissapoint them.
>>24361641
>muslim takeover/apocalypse
I'm from Eastern Europe, doubt this will happen here, people are fucking insane (in a good way) here about this topic, there's no way they'd allow Islam to spread (at least I hope so)
>>24361683
The wealthier the plebeian class is the less content they are with what they have, and the more willing they are to give it up for their own gratification.
I'm pleased it is that way for the East, but in France and Germany I feel that it is too late.
I'm from GREAT Britain and we fortunately don't have a labour government at the moment, so I've got some optimism. Just gotta wait for the Eu referendum.
Anyway, just wait until you can get a robotic arm. It's worth the wait.
>fresh high school graduate
don't care, leave loser
Same here. I feel like I'm gradually moving toward a position where suicide will appear to me as the only option left. Sort of feels like I'm pushing my down an alley of sorts which is getting tighter and tighter and will soon squeeze me to death.
>>24361844
Where are you atm? Uni? If so how deep?
>>24361814
https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/107516
Well, will see what will happen with this.
>>24361844
I'm anticipating that this will happen with me as well, I'm still doing okay, but idk if I can continue, it's like everything will fail in the next few months.
>>24361487
Suicide isn't a way out. You'll figure that out if you do.
>>24361931
Can you explain to me how the fuck isn't it a way out?
>>24361683
East europe here too. I know how you feel. Well I am third year college bearly. Failed first because no motivation. Maybe just take a pause for a year or two. You are young, you can go back easily. Also overachiever and felt like a failure first year when I was failing everything. But do not feel stupid, it is probably just lack of motivation. What do you want? Why do you care if you are dissapointment to them? I am sure that is simething that you find interesting that you would have at least a bit more motivation in learning. anywaaaay, people give too much credit to success. Success should never be a priority. I get what you are saying considering the situation in eastern europe, future seems nonexistant without degree and everything. But you can always move to Germany : D
>>24361931
>Suicide isn't a way out.
I'm aware of that my nigga, but I can't find any other way.
If I go to a doctor he'll just put me on some drugs and I'll be labeled as mentally ill (which I probably am??), can't talk to my mother or father, they're so much stronger than I am, they went through war, poverty and have built a great family and then there is me, the pussy depressed teen faggot who was given everything and I still ended up like this. I can't talk to my friends because they don't understand and they don't care, and why should they + you should never reveal your weakness. That's what is killing me, I've tried so hard to not spill out any this to anyone and I've created this fake image of myself and now everything is finally coming to pay. I don't know if this is just teenage angst or I'm just a lazy fuck who lost all motivation, I'm confused.
>>24362058
T.b.h this is comforting, but still failing would be devastating for me, I rarely failed in my life mainly because i didn't take big risks. I was one of the top students in HS. People expect from me to be successful, my teachers always told me that I have potential.
I also have a sister who got a Master's degree at the same Uni I'm currently going, so there's even more pressure on me altho my parents don't force me, they're great, I'm the problem.
I see some of my friends who are doing great and their lives are moving ahead, that kills me as well, I won't even go into being forever alone, but that's irrelevant now, I just want escape these thoughts.
>>24361487
thats a rare viper, can i save it senpai
>>24362259
Well I was among best students in HS too, my parents also have big expectations from me. When I failed my year due no motivation I felt like a failure and everyday of repeating it was hell desu. + introverted and going outside for 1h makes me eghausted. Stop saying you are the problem. You said your parents are great, I am sure if you told them something like that you need a pause one year to figure out what you want and to rest from studying they would not see you as a failure for sure. Yea it seems bad to tell them that and actually do it, but you would feel better. Only live the neet life for a year until you get a glimpse of what you want. Imagine telling your parents about your suicidal toughts, they would probably do anything for you to keep on. And that should not make you feel worse, you should be happy you have a nice family. I am giving you advices and I am depressed half motivated person lel but I just tought so much about options. Priority for yourself and your parents is for you to be happy not sucessful for sure. i know you feel like you could never feel fullfilled or something if you are not using your whole potential(studying). That is what I am saying You should wait for your motivation to come back. Afterall, look at your parents maybe or relatives ect. I am sure they are living pretty happy lives even if they are not very sucessfull. I would rather be a wageslave waiter who does what I like in my free time than a sucessfull empty person. Once you feel fullfilled you will stop caring about your friends who are doing well and wont be jelaous. I think the root of unhapiness is lonliness. My internet relatinship kinda brought me back the motivation for everything as lame as it sounds. Motivation to study, so i can meet them later in life. I wish I could give you advice on how to meet new people or how to bring yourslef back on track. I just wrote this giant wall of text lol.
>>24362694
To continue xD.
I struggle with depression and anxiety and every few days think about goingn or not going to therapy.
It is the hardest to move from a no mot. part of your life. I think it should be left to pass on its own. Antidepressants can really help you push aside bad toughts and bring some of that motivation back.
You should consider it too.
First thing you should do imo is take time to figure out what you want to do and stop caring about how your friends are doing. Even if it seems that your parents are dissapointed in the long run they will be happy for you. Ah.. All advices suck when depression rules. Good luck bro
>>24362784
>>24362694
I didn't really expect anything out of this thread, but I like venting out as I can't do it irl. This really meant a lot and I'm serious, thank you for taking the time to write all of this. Dark thoughts can delude a person and you forget about life. . It seems that we are similar (anxiety and introversion) and it's nice to see that you're feeling better and getting back on track, might be the same situation for me. Thank you once again, you're a good person and you helped me for now, I wish you all the best.
>>24362964
Anytime. Whish you all the best too.
>>24361487
Honestly I agree 100%
I dont want to sell my labor just to be exploited and Im starting uni soon to get a degree just so my parents dont disown me or be ashamed of me. Both me and my mother have manic depression and life generally sucks.
>>24363156
>I dont want to sell my labor just to be exploited
I don't mind being a wagekek If I can be happy.
>>24363291
You can never be a happy wagekek. Business owners and the rich are a plague on the working man and only exist to exploit and cheat desu
Kill them all tbqh familia
