Alright, let's try to motivate each other.
State your problem and other anons motivate you to solve it.
Here's mine
>cafe by my apartment
>girl who works there is qt, not hot normie tier, just cute
>always talks to me / flirts with me (I think) when I go in there, knows my name, remembers everything about me
>goes out of her way to come over and talk to me when I'm there
>want to ask her out on date
>just showered, looking my best right now
>now sitting here making this thread
halp
>>24361177
Ask her out before someone else does, faggot. There's no better time than now, so stop ruining your life and go do something for yourself for a change. Worst-case scenario is she says no, and you'll be no worse off than you are now.
My problem is that I'm bipolar and my medication doesn't treat my depressive cycles. No matter how active I am, no matter how many people I'm around, no matter how good I treat my body, I'm still miserable, completely devoid of energy, have no interest or gain any enjoyment from the things that I used to love, nothing. I'm already on like 6 medications to treat all of my mental health issues, and my psychiatrist doesn't think that there are any drugs that will help at this point. What the fuck can I do?
>>24361396
Alright, thanks for the advice, I'm gonna go do it right now & report back.
I'm manic-depressive/bipolar/whatever as hell, though I don't take meds for it. Not trying to say like "everybody feels this way", it's just that I know that feel, and I feel like maybe I can help you.
What's the essence of your depression? Is it a feeling that you're wasting time/potential? Is it a feeling of sorrow about the world as a whole or about a particular situation/relationship in your world? Is it just a feeling of blankness?
Don't say that it's all of those things-- try and zero in on exactly what your depression involves.
I don't want to just leave you with questions, so I'll throw some stuff out there from my experience. When I'm super depressed and low, it's usually this feeling of being unaccomplished in the eyes of people around me: family, especially. But I know I invent all of it in my head. I forget about depression when I'm immersed in something I know to be objectively good, like reading, writing, playing music, cooking, or just exercising any skill/ability really. It's when I go stagnant during the day that I start to get paralyzed. But what's even more horribly depressing is when I start to think down the line of "what's the point of reading/writing/whatever anyway? it's pointless". Then the large-scale depression comes in a dark wave. I have to constantly fight this kind of thinking, because it's my undoing.
I have to constantly tell myself not to let my spirit get crushed by the world... more importantly, as a depressive type, not to crush my own spirit.
>Parents are rich
>Have a tested IQ of 138-142
>Got 90%+ scored the first 2 years of my bachelor
>My parents were so proud and supportive
>They buy me a nice apartment
>My grades slip in the third year because no motivation, 65% average ish
>I'll still pass and everything, its just average
>Feel ashamed, decide to fake an addiction so that I do not lose face intellectually
>Read about benzos being addictive, they also happen to be available.
>Get 200 1 mg xanex pills
>Binge through them, don't really enjoy it but my grades slip further, just laying in bed all day
>let my parents "accidentally" find out im addicted
>They are nothing but supportive and loving.
>"Hey this can happen to anyone, there is no blame. Let's just focus on getting you back on your feet"
I feel nothing but shame, everyone loves me and I'm just such an antisocial failure. They deserve better
;,_,;
>>24361694
>decide to fake an addiction
Jesus fucking Christ anon
>>24361658
I've led a very productive life that impresses even normies when I talk about it, the depression doesn't come from a feeling of lack of accomplishments. I have done some pretty terrible things to people in the past, and I feel very guilty about it. I also have lived a very hard life, having to bust my ass to just survive since I was a kid, and I'm only just now getting stable at the age of 24. I feel like my efforts are useless, that no matter how hard I work I'll never attain the things I need to feel fulfilled. I also have a paraphilia that I can't satisfy legally, so there's this constant sense of longing, sexual frustration, and a feeling that I'm out of place and can't relate to other people. On top of all of that, I have violent, intrusive thoughts that are very hard to repress and can't be treated with antipsychotics or therapy (after 6 years of trying). It makes my depression amplify to an extreme degree every time it happens, not only because I have to repress the feeling but because I have to justify to myself that I can't have anything that I desperately want.
There's a lot of factors. Even when all of those things seem to abate, there's a feeling that nothing that I do is of any importance and it all doesn't matter. That I can't make anyone happy and all I'm good for is leaving a negative impact on the world.
>>24361775
The truth is, I just want my parents to be proud of me. I want to get high grades just like my father did. I want to be successful. Nobody every told me I had to do any of these things but I can just feel the pressure and expectations.
>>24361852
Your parent's aren't going to be proud of you for faking a fucking addiction and lying to them anon.
They will probably love you no matter what though
>>24361816
So I just went down to the cafe and she wasn't there. Oh well, I'll try again tomorrow.
>I've led a very productive life that impresses even normies when I talk about it
I know this feel-- what's funny is that it makes me depressed in relation to my idea of a fulfilling life.
>I have done some pretty terrible things to people in the past, and I feel very guilty about it.
I'm not here to judge you, and I truly believe that there is more to a person that singular actions. I don't know how bad the stuff you did to others is, but I will say that the spirit of rehabilitation is that a person can overcome their vices, and seeing as you're feeling guilty, it seems that you've gotten better. Now I think it's important to relinquish yourself from guilt.
>I feel like my efforts are useless, that no matter how hard I work I'll never attain the things I need to feel fulfilled.
Do you know the things you need to attain in order to become fulfilled? What are they?
>I also have a paraphilia that I can't satisfy legally, so there's this constant sense of longing, sexual frustration, and a feeling that I'm out of place and can't relate to other people
Without going into much detail, I'll say that you're not alone on this one.
>On top of all of that, I have violent, intrusive thoughts that are very hard to repress and can't be treated with antipsychotics or therapy (after 6 years of trying).
I don't know this feel, but I wish you luck on that one. Maybe try a completely different pattern in life. I can only speak in super-general terms here, but if you've tried a thing for a long time with no results, then you should keep moving and try something different.
>there's a feeling that nothing that I do is of any importance and it all doesn't matter. That I can't make anyone happy and all I'm good for is leaving a negative impact on the world.
Do you have a vision of things that would potentially "matter", or that would leave a positive impact on the world?
>>24362103
>I truly believe that there is more to a person that singular actions.
I meant "than".
I also ran out of space. I wanted to make a final comment about the whole leaving an impact thing. I'm a writer, I write books. Even though these books aren't read by many people right now, I take comfort in the fact that somebody might read my book long after my death. And if I keep working at my craft, maybe I can produce works good enough to where I am a celebrated author after death. I'll never know what will happen with my books after I die, and to me, that's profound.
Maybe you can apply the same line of thought to your projects/some aspect of your life.
>>24362103
Sorry to hear she wasn't there. Good luck tomorrow.
My ultimate goal is to go to med school and become a forensic pathologist, which would put me in an environment that will allow me to help other people, atone for the things that I've done, and not have to deal with normies all day, but I owe money to a university I dropped out of and I can't attend another school until I pay them off. Which means soul-sucking wageslaving for quite awhile instead of working towards the goal that I really want. I know exactly what I have to do to get there, it's just taking me so damn long it crushes my spirits. Not to mention the fear that I have that I'll get really sick again like I did the last time I was in school and it'll all be for nothing.
>>24361694
>>24361852
I feel for you man on the whole parent's expectations thing, but I'm gonna call your bluff about the addiction being fake.
Either way, the addiction thing doesn't matter-- like this anon >>24361938 said, your parents seem like extremely good people who will love you no matter what.
I think that you should maybe tell them the truth about how much you worry about their expectations, and they'll probably tell you the truth about how they feel.
The thing about extremely supportive parents is that they can only be supportive if their children don't lie to them.
>18 yo
>travel every day to school by bus
>see everyday a qt 14 girl
>don't know how to approach
>she's always in my mind
im nearly ok with doing nothing but i think this is my chance to do something important, the thing is i live in a small town near her town but i dont have drive license and the only opportunity to see her is on the bus, but how the fuck can i approach
>Talk to plenty of single girls at Uni, no problem whatsoever
>Can't tell if they like me or not
>Too beta to ask any of them out, never had a gf before
I'm fine talking to grills, but I just can't build up the courage to even ask them on a date. I'm just too embarrassed that I'll get shot down hard.
>qt girl talks to me occasionally
>she jokes around alot around me and about me
>even if it makes no sense
>ignored me for a while
>wondered what i did wrong
>after a few weeks she starts to do the jokes again
>she is just a classmate so we barely have full on convo
>doesnt know if she wants me to make the first move
fml i wish i could read minds
>years of depression has put me in a state of indifference without the wallowing in self pity and misery part
>nothing excites me but I toil away at my 'passions' very slowly
>before deciding to end it I went to a psychiatrist
>stopped taking the meds cos they make zero difference
>psychiatrist gives me a prescription for school
>a month later and I still haven't done anything
>any day might be my last, I really have no clue if i'll snap or not
>not really motivated to make this my last shot as was the attempt with the psychiatrist
Shitload of other issues in the past but they're irrelevant now.
Any advice might help, might not.
