Who /devilish/ here?
>Have gf in 2014 (Reeee normie)
>She is gardening one day, and drops pruning shears on her face
>Black eye and bruised cheekbone
>We troll people by her saying I beat her for nagging
>at least 19 people threatened to beat me up because of this
>First day of school after this happened
>Everyone gives me evils, but no one attacks me as they said they would
>About 2 weeks later, bruise has almost healed
>Planning to tell people it was a troll the next day
>Walking home
>One of her orbiters pushes me into the road in front of a van
>Luckily I only get minor bruises myself
>He is serving a prison sentence for attempted murder
Oh, me!
>having bad day
>turning right on a red light
>not paying attention
>car in front stops
>rear end car
>guy gets out
>looks a bit autistic and wearing a superman shirt
>starts freaking out
>no damage to car
>tell him to calm down
>He gets as close as he can to my face and just stares me down
>start to smile and get closer to his face
>ask him if he feels tough today
>starts mumbling about his wife and kids in the car
>tell him I wish I was going faster so I could end them
>starts screaming
>his wife gets out of the car
>tell her to get her pathetic husband back to the car before he hurts himself
>she scolds him back to the car
>no damage to cars so I get back on my way
>guy rolls down his window
>tells me there is a special place in hell for me
>laugh and drive away
It felt so good
>>29214529
That's actually /devilish/ as shit.
>>29214529
> Eat Quaker Oats every fucking morning because it's great
> Ain't even a Quaker
> Actually don't much care for Quakers
> Still taking their oats though
>>29214835
I know this culinary feel
>fuck some guy in the ass
>im not even gay
>at work going aisle to aisle putting away items
>see a little kid stepping on two 5 dollar bills
>pick it up once he takes his foot off of it
>a few minutes later this guy and who I assumed was his wife came up to me and ask if I've seen 10 dollars
>say no
>they get all upset and go talk to the manager
>didn't leave until an hour later
