Hey robots,
I made a greentext the other day about getting shitfaced over getting dumped and fired from my job. Been borderline homeless and too poor for anything but cart food since then. Got an update to share.
tl;dr is that not only did I manage not to hang myself, but I got that construction job from my based middle aged balkanbro and in the span of a day managed to no longer be hugless, kissless, or homeless
Greentext inbound, robros
>be me
>20 something cyborg
>unemployed for two weeks
>poor to start
>far from home in a big city
>my only friend moved away two months ago
>landlord trying to kick me out
>roommates suck
>getting unstable, getting into fights and shit regularly
>drinking booze I can't afford to keep the dark at bay
>dumped by the first and only girl I ever dated
>tfw she wasn't even my gf
>feel it closing in
>feel like I'm in a spiral
>saved from the brink by my based Scottish friend, who since my only other real friend moved away has been all I had
>desperately looking for work
>fights with landlord every day because I'm late on rent
>reach out to Rado, hard as nails Serbian immigrant who runs a construction company
>practically beg him for work
>I'm strong and willing to work any time of day because I have nothing else in my life
>Rado comes through for me
>offers me my first shift yesterday morning
>5am to 5pm at some apartment building
>super excited because it offers 10 bucks an hour plus overtime
>tfw I won't have to be homeless
>tfw I can make enough money for rent in a week if I work my ass off
>feels good famalam
>pic related is mfw I'd rather be a plebe peasant than a homeless NEET
>work is awesome
>I'm like the only 'murican white dude there
>rest are all immigrants, blacks, and hispanics
>they're mostly cool people
>fun banter is had
>Rado shows up to oversee
>has a fucking MAGA hat on
>keked pretty hard at that
>smiling the whole time even though its grueling work because I'm the new guy
>really love working with my hands
>hours fly by
>by the end I'm more exhausted than I have ever been, but it's a cathartic kind of feeling
>felt productive and accomplished for the first time
>it's a good feel
>go out with new workbros to the divebar from my last story to watch the sportsball
>this place is comfy personified
>say hi to my Scottish friend who tends bar there, tell him about getting a job and avoiding NEEThood
>he get's super excited, buys a round of shots, which is his solution to most problems
>having a great time
>sweaty and look homeless in a sweatshirt and work jeans, partly because of work and part because of not being able to afford a haircut or having the willpower to shave my lavabeard
>I'm not ugly, but I'm like a 7/10 on a good day
>don't care though
>not an ounce of self consciousness
>feel so free and happy
>for once I'm not just sitting caught up in my own thoughts
>which is why when some 8/10 qt sidles up to me at the bar I don't even notice
>too happy
>couldn't give less fucks about anything other than being happy and reveling in the fact that I don't feel like my world is crashing down on me
>back from the brink, worked with my hands, digging life
>it's like I've been resurrected
>when I take a piss at the bar, I look at my reflection
>for the first time I can remember, I don't hate the version of me I see
>even though I look like a disheveled viking who just got back from pillaging
>pic related
>after I piss, go out for a smoke because the bar is busy and I need some space
>qt from before comes and joins me
>I light her cigarette for her
>we chat because I'm too happy to realize I'm talking to a beautiful girl
>I'm so oblivious and high from not despising myself that we have a nice playful chat about the game and life and everything
>find out she's rooting for Cleveland since she's from the midwest
>she's in law school
>super into sports
>really smart, dry wit
>she's amazing
>by now I should have fumbled my spaghetti about a thousand times
>but I don't
>it's like I'm possessed
>no pressure
>my face doesn't even turn red like it always does when I meet a pretty girl
cont
fuck off back to /diary/
>qt and I finish our smoke and go back in
>buy her a drink because I actually have money now
>construction bros give me a bunch of thumbs up and support in their ooga booga way
>she and I sit there for hours shooting the shit and watching the game
>construction bros leave and I barely notice
>feeling for this girl
>realize how pretty she is
>pale skin, dark brown hair, adorable face, and fiery green eyes
>she gets cold so she throws on this little tiny cardigan thing in the cutest way
>scottish friend is wingmanning as hard as he can
>finally realize she's into me
>realize I've accidentally been doing it right all night
>engage dontfuckthisup.exe
>no spaghetti flies out of my pockets
>no one does the dinosaur
>I do end up blushing at one point when she puts her hand on mine
>she blushes back
>whatthefuckishappening
>only worry is that the day has been some sort of sadistic dream
>girl and I leave bar together
>walk a few blocks to her place
>it's like 3 in the morning at this point
>ask for her number
>get number
>hug and kiss goodbye, I'll be taking her to a bar to watch the NBA finals on monday
>get home, baffled but happy
>pass out for a few hours because I had work again at six this morning
>finished
>came home
>bought redbull and some human food with my slaverybux
>sat down to write this
It's amazing how fast life can change. I think I've realized the problem with the 'b urself' meme. It's not about being yourself. Fuck that. Who you are is a fluid thing. Two days ago I was a miserable unemployed nothing about to be kicked out onto the streets. Sure as shit QT wouldn't have given a fuck about me then. No amount of 'faking confidence' can overcome the reality of you hating yourself.
But since yesterday I'm not that guy anymore. I still have problems, it's true, but things don't look so bad anymore once you've been looking off the edge into oblivion.
Maybe we can get out of this shit after all.
>>29209807
>Maybe we can get out of this shit after all.
No, fuck this happy-go-lucky shit and fuck you for trying to give me hope.
I'm not buying it >: (
shut up you stupid fucking idiot nobody cares about you normalfag
please kill yourself immediately
>>29209807
Keep in mind it can (and probably will) all go back to shit in a flash.
>>29209831
You're call, man. I just know that I'm really happy now that there were people on this board giving me hope when I was ready to jump on the metro tracks. I would have died for nothing and worse I would have lived for nothing.
>>29209833
>tell a guy with one of the most statistically most dangerous jobs to kill himself
No thanks bud. I'm gonna get nice and comfy and let whatever comes come. Like Russian roulette.
>>29209889
True. But frankly at this point I had given up the hope that happiness was even a real thing. It's bittersweet learning how tenuous everything is. All things pass, good and bad, but that's life. I'm just glad I've at least managed to get a couple good feels in at this point.
>>29209964
do not have sex
never reproduce
