The worst fucking feeling in the world is when you let your parents down, and you see how much of a fucking disappointment you are.
I just told my mother that I can't go on with college anymore, the schizophrenia is just too bad and the antipsychotics just aren't cutting it. She just broke down and cried, I'm sure because all of her hopes and dreams of me were just shattered.
I'm tempted to shoot myself right now, fucking hell.
>he has access to firearms
Lucky fucker
Nah, worst feeling is looking at your parents are realizing how badly they fucked up their own lives and how much better off other people your own age have it because of the fact their parents actually had solid financial planning and ambition, and now you're left out your own with nothing to work life out from scratch while everyone else gets gifted one of their parents investment homes.
>Brings you into a shitty world without even asking you
>Expects shit from you
>Can't even understand how bad our generation have it compared to her's
>Can't even understand how bad our gender have it compared to her's
>No self worth in herself, instead pushes it onto her children
>When her children fail (probably because of her shit parenting) breaks down like a fucking child and guilt trips her son
Your mother is a shit, OP. If I were you, I'd be ashamed to have her as a mother, as opposed to her being ashamed of me.
Don't be too hard on yourself anon.
Dissapointment in your kids is nothing compared to the pain felt when your child is suffering and there's little you can do. She may even blame herself in some way for the schizophrenia, deep down. At the end of the day, all loving parents want their child not to suffer, that's what the often misguided pressure to succeed really boils down to.
my parents are both dead. im 20
>>29200681
how did that happen anon rsdg
>>29200708
mom had a stroke, dad had cancer
>mfw
>>29200137
>The worst fucking feeling in the world is when you let your parents down
No, the worst feeling is when your parents let you down. Because it takes you years to realize it's not your fault. You finally see they abused you, and all the times they blamed you, they were lying.
>>29200137
you have schizophrenia though, not much you can do about it
if anything you should be sad with her, not angry at yourself; its not like you can unfuck your brain
>>29200681
You're still young enough to go be Batman.
>>29200137
>I'm sure because all of her hopes and dreams of me were just shattered.
No, she's crying because she's realized her only shot at an early retirement is gone.
>>29203239
THIS. FUCKING THIS.
It breaks my heart that this kid blames himself, even with schizophrenia of all things. That's entirely genetic.
>>29204357
it doesn't matter whose "fault" something like this is
you are in a reality where you have come to exist in a certain capacity, like it or not, you have to fucking deal with it
blame whoever you want, it doesn't change anything. typically blaming other people just makes things worse since you stop trying to improve yourself
>>29204321
This so hard. My mother got mad at me the other day because she thinks my sister and I (we're in our mid 20s) should have moved back in and help pay the bills so they can retire. Jokes on them. They psychologically fucked us up in our childhood and now we've both become welfare dependent NEETs.
You have to remind them that they should be greateful that your only problem is you can't compete in society, and you aren't some raging psychopath rapist cereal killer.
At least you have an excuse. I failed college multiple times. I should've been done 3 years ago, but I failed utterly and I can't bring myself to tell my parents. I also don't want to continue at all; after doing my internship I legitimately think working in this type of work would make me kill myself within a year.
I had 2 choices out of high school and I picked the wrong one. And I'm 25. Last time I told my parents, my mom almost fainted and cried for a week. I don't know what to do.
>>29204405
>it doesn't matter whose "fault" something like this is
yes, yes it does
>>29204411
>we've both become welfare dependent NEETs.
Im proud anon
>>29204488
nice argument faggot
explain to me what determining the true blame of things outside of your control changes about your position in life
oh yeah
>nothing
>>29200223
My fucking god this
My mother had me at 19 and became a single mom 2 years later
She had to go through hell to look after me but shit dont go around fucking bareback at such a young age
>>29204516
>>nothing
Not him but knowing it wasnt you who fucked up can greatly reduce the amount of self loathing which in turn can make you more successful .
>>29204516
It gives me peace of my mind that it's not my fault
>>29200137
It's not a bad feeling for me. I'm a 5'6" manlet with a 3inch dick. I also have several deformities and I am experiencing baldness at the age of 24.
And I blame my parents. Who else would I blame? I did not ask to come into this world in a vessel that is destined to suffer. I did not ask to be born. It's their fault I didn't get proper nutrition growing up.
I have explained this to them and they have agreed with me. Which is why they're letting mooch until they both die.
>>29204557
>I'm a 5'6" manlet with a 3inch dick. I also have several deformities and I am experiencing baldness at the age of 24.
Ha kek'd hard. That's rough anon, I am so so sorry :(
>>29200646
>At the end of the day, all loving parents want their child not to suffer
Is that why people in third world countries continue to shit out kids?
Stop being so naive; this world is cynical at it's very core. Everyone is thinking for themselves.
To women, to 'mothers', a child is no different than a financial investment. You do what you can to ensure a good return on investment, and if you lose money, you feel bad, but you don't feel bad for the money. That's how they think. At best you were an accident or someone's flawed attempt at keeping up with the Jones's, at worst, and most probably, you were made to be a backup retirement plan or as an instrument for your parents to project all of their unrealized ambitions on to.
I'm willing to bet, not once did his mother feel bad for him or his future. In her mind, she was worried about how this would reflect on her, how she's going to pay off her mortgage without her son's help or some other self-centered shit along those lines.
>>29204575
its not too bad. at least I am getting proper compensation for it. I've had sex with two prostitutes and they were expensive ones too.
>>29204602
This. Having kids is always 100% a selfish move.
>>29204602
This post is a bit cold and removes the aspect of familial bonds and human emotion from the mix, but there is a part I can definitely get behind.
>as an instrument for your parents to project all of their unrealized ambitions on to
Fucking this, man. When I was still in college, my father was all excited about how he was going to "live vicariously through me". Turns out I fucking hated college and wanted to get started in the workforce right off the bat. I was successful with this endeavor, but my father was absolutely irate with my decision. I can tell even after I've made a name for myself, he still resents the fact that I didn't finish college.
I just don't get it.
>>29204411
Yeah, I can more-or-less can attribute my Neetdom to my mother and father's misparenting.
>>29204704
>familial bonds and human emotion
HA! You're on /r9k/. Most people here would have more luck getting affection from a lamppost than their own families.
>>29204638
It's sad, isn't it?
I honestly wish I could invent a time machine and love and properly raise the child version of myself. That guy had a fucked up childhood and could've used some actual fucking parenting.
>I just don't get it.
What's to get? They see you as property.
They don't care about your emotions. It's all about them and their needs.
>>29204704
Meant for here >>29204766
Origin.
>>29204433
>implying I'm not
The way I was raised, statistically I should be one of those psychopathic criminals you see on TV and I almost went down the road.
>>29204602
>>29204638
>>29204760
>>29204766
How the fuck can any of you believe this shit? I am a huge fuck up, and my parents were always there for me, even when they were fighting, it was always over how to parent me. My dad was actually the one who fits semi-accurately into your description (except for the "Having a kid is always 100% selfish part and the no love part). He always wanted me to do good in school, go to college, get a good job, and find someone that I loved. There was never, ever, EVER any undertone of "Oh boy, can't wait for that little shit to make some cash so I don;t have to work :^)" or "I want to live my life through his, like a puppet master". It was always him trying to pass on his life experience and to try to guide me on the path to success, which he obviously failed. He wasn't the best father, but he damn well had the right intentions. A group is not judged by it's exceptions, as I hope your parents were. But then again, my parents could be the exception. You are only a child once, so I have a very limited experience on being raised as I only was raised once as well. So who fucking knows/cares I just know for a fact that my parents were not like yours.
>>29204926
>So who fucking knows/cares I just know for a fact that my parents were not like yours.
Right, so it is your fault you failed, not theirs. We arent in disagreement on anything it seems.
ps. It is literally impossible to have kids for the sake of... the kids because you know... they dont exist yet?
>>29204957
If you plant the seed for a tree, and the tree doesn't end up growing, were you selfish for planting the seed?
>>29205037
If you failed to water it and provide an environment for it to grow then yes
>>29205058
Say that you do this, but the tree still does not grow. Were you still selfish for planting the seed?
>>29205037
Well yea duh. The tree didnt exist at the time of you planting it, so it couldnt care less if it lived. It is 100% your desires that made you do it.
>at my sisters high school graduation
>I'm a dropout
>most family members sort of just ignore me until they ask to get a picture of my sister and me
>initially refuse and then give up
>ask to see the picture
>I look disgusting and ask them to delete it
>they don't and I throw a bitch fit because I hate myself and regret being in the picture
>dad just walks away and drives home
i want it to get to the point where they don't love me anymore so I can just commit suicide already
>>29205037
>conflating trees with genetics
>conflating non-profit things with living things
If you throw a mouse into a cage of snakes, and pump it up with steroids because you wanted to see if it would rip the snakes heads off, but the mouse gets utterly raped like 99% of the of the mouses before it, are you selfish for thrusting the mouse into the snake cage and pumping full of anabolic knowing it's probably die and getting mad afterwards? What were you thinking? You just saw how hard the other half a dozen mouses failed except for that two foot rate, and you didn't pick a two foot rat, you picked a 6cm mouse.
>>29205071
no, you was just unfortunate then. This wouldn't apply to most parents though
>>29205104
**living
God that sounds autistic, but there's nothing more autistic than poor, miserable people deciding to bring more poor miserable people into this world.
you are looking at it from the wrong perspective
parents have unrealistic expectation from their children, that's why you go to college,get married and buy a house in the first place, its because other people pushed you to do it.
why do you think we have all this saturation of cs and law grads? its because of parents. if it was up to people making the best decisions they would go to trade school and live a modest life without any debt or trouble
the problem is that every parent have standards when it comes to his children, but instead of pushing them to the shithole that is college (which will mess you up even more) try to find therapy and other ways to help
>>29205104
Say you and your spouse have great genetics. Your kid inherits a lot of recessive pairs for whatever reason. Were you still selfish?
>>29205150
Genes mean nothing if you aren't rich.
Are you too poor for genetic screening, you fuck?
Why're you having kids in the first place? For what purpose? Do you feel your genes are special in some way? Why couldn't you have just adopted a poor kid? Of course your selfish. Life is unnecessary.
>>29204926
>It was always him trying to pass on his life experience and to try to guide me on the path to success
The only reason he wanted you to be successful is because your success reflects well on his parenting abilities and makes HIM feel successful. Having a successful child makes him a successful man, he wants to be able to pat himself on the back and sleep soundly at night knowing he was a good parent. He wants to be able to brag about you and compare your accomplishments to other parents and their children. That's what parenting is, just another item on the Normie Life checklist that normies feel they need to check off in order to "live a full life". And that's exactly why it's so selfish. Your parents only care about you and your well being insofar as it makes them feel like good parents. If you were happy and emotionally satisfied doing something that they found repulsive and embarrassing and loserish (no "being gay" does not count since that affords them the opportunity to virtue signal) then I guarantee you would see all that "support" fly out the window real quick as they desperately try to mold you into something they can brag about.
>>29205150
the odds were in your favour so you took a chance, you still must deal with the repercussions
>>29205104
genetic flaws can go through generations, not just first and second relatives in the family tree
that means if your grand grandfather was schrizopheric you still have a chance of getting it despite not being a dominant gene
>>29205187
This. If you're going to have kid, font be pissed if they turn out worthless NEETs. You took a gamble and you lost. Deal with it.
>>29204459
>tfw no one answers my heartfelt admission of worthlessness
>>29204602
>Is that why people in third world countries continue to shit out kids?
people used to make alot of babies because their mortality rate was high, still applies there.
does not apply in the modern world
>>29205222
Now this is something I can agree with. Your kid ended up that way for a reason, and you have to take responsibility for it.
That being said, if I were to have a child that ended up as a NEET, I would still take care of them into their adulthood and love them unconditionally. Would that make me selfish?
>>29204459
>my mom almost fainted and cried for a week. I don't know what to do.
same reaction as if you were dead, honestly.
college is not the only way to live comfortably, you'd be surprised
>>29205281
Right, so you know your kids could potentially die and are going to have have a hard life either way...and this excuses you to procreate why? Oh! It's because you need extra income right? Yes. Fuck off.
The third world breeders are objectively worse and more selfish.
>>29205289
>is forcing someone to suffer selfish?
Refer to the chart.
>>29205374
This implies only a utilitarian perspective maximizing pleasure; these are not the only factors at play.
Additionally, you don't know what it's like to not exist. How can you make those claims?
>>29200137
Plottwist: OP is just hallucinating that he is going to college and his mom broke down because she realized how strong the schizophrenia is already controlling her son.
>I'm a disappointment
>So everything is my parents fault!
Kek /r9k/ does it again, my parents are proud of me, my masters degree and my 6 figure income.
NEETy can't take the HEATy
>>29205349
people did this so humanity wouldn't go extinct
now that we figured out how to water food and medicine that's not a big deal as it used to be
>>29205512
>master degree
>r9k
did you get your degree in s4s university
>tfw you see your parents pissed off at your failure of a life
>don't give a fuck because they raised me to be a fuckup
>plan on leaving and never talking to them once I get a job
>>29205316
>college is not the only way to live comfortably, you'd be surprised
Anyone I know who doesn't have a college degree, is doing a wageslave job that pays peanuts and is boring. My field would at least allow me to make nice money, but it would literally drive me insane. I don't know which is worse.
>all these ungrateful bastards blaming their parents
>Le I didn't ask to born meme XD
>muh poor parents
If you blame your parents for your failure then you are officially the most shittiest person on this world, way below junkies and pedophiles. While abusive parents or mentally ill parents, that's a different story, but I have still successfulsucce people who had those type of bad parents.
I regret being a failure and disappointment to my oarents everyday. It's not easy to letting them down continously.
>>29200137
> The worst fucking feeling in the world is when you let your parents down
i dont know this feel tbqh
my genetics are theirs, and its their fault im here. i dont owe them anything, they chose to have me, they knew the risks or they should have considered them more.
>>29206770
I want to feel this but I can't. I know I shouldn't be this pressured to perform but I keep imagining that I owe them shit, or that I at least should succeed so that they don't seem like failed parents to the outside world. I shouldn't but I am, what a joke.
>>29206822
thats probably healthy and what most normies feel.
i swallowed the anti-natalist pill pretty hard, i think people have children for stupid selfish reasons without really considering it. i dont feel i owe anyone shit, but i also dont expect anything from my parents.
>>29206872
Do you still live with your parents? Do you have a decent job?
>>29204602
100 percent this
My parents don't even try to hide the fact they want me to pay everything
No, the worst feeling is knowing that your parents are miserable in this current existance with the life choices they made and are too emotionally unstable/negligent to raise a child, and then looking at your friend's families and they're all completely healthy and functioning
>>29203239
>Because it takes you years to realize it's not your fault.
There is some Euro film where a kid believe his parents are above God at the start of the movie and by the end realizes the are just people.
irl it's kinda the same only you realize that they are terrible people
>>29200137
>schizophrenia
meme illness
Life improved significantly when I made a few observations:
>most people you interact with place expectations on you to fill their happiness goals
>if you don't meet those goals, nothing bad happens
>make happiness, devoid of external expectations, your goal
>if your current situation isn't part of your goal, work towards it
My parents had lofty expectations of my intelligence and were disappointed with my university grade. They were disappointed when I didn't immediately walk into a graduate job because of this and instead spent a year or so cruising through minimum wage jobs. I'm currently working as a software developer, love where I work and don't strive for the middle management jobs they seem to hint at me needing for my career to progress.
They'll be disappointed when I don't give them a grandchild because I see kids as a waste of space, time and money. I've too much life to live to devote it to some little shit that I won't reap the rewards of until 18+ years have passed, the meantime filled with me doing the same as my parents and projecting my wants onto them. I highly recommend The Inside-Out Revolution by Michael Neill to start you on the path to creating your own happiness.
The worst feeling is living a life where you deny yourself happiness because of your own thoughts or the expectations of others.
>>29204459
I'm almost in the same exact situation as you.
I'm 26 but I've failed college multiple times. I've broken down simply going there so many times from social anxiety that I simply couldn't take it anymore and stopped going.
I haven't told my mother yet. I've told her I'm still going. I'm too afraid to tell her the truth, and I don't know what to do.
>>29205037
The tree never wanted to grow. You planted it and forced it to grow.
>>29200223
waah I didn't start with a handicap
move to the sticks and eat rocks then faggot
