>mom micromanages every aspect of my life, from how the clothes in my dresser are organized to how the furniture in my room is arranged to when I can open my bedroom window
>I am twenty years old
>politely ask her one day to please let me figure things out for myself, let me have my own personal preferences, and let me learn from my mistakes and adjust accordingly
>she starts crying and I have to apologize
>therapist calls my mom today and pretty much tells her the same thing I did
>she starts crying again and tells me she feels like she's being "attacked" and I have to apologize again
I cannot live with this woman. Not only did she ruin my life, she's now doing everything she can to keep me from fixing it. How do I attain independence when I have no car, no job, no money, and have trouble being around people due to low self-esteem imparted by my mother snidely insulting me every day for my whole life? I guess she thinks she's doing the right thing but it's most certainly not the right thing and she should be able to recognize that she's doing nothing but hurting me.
There are people who had less than you that still managed to successfully move out of home.
If you are too attached to the comforts of living with your parents, then don't complain when you have to deal with the downsides
>>29198020
If there's no reasoning with her, you really do need to start looking for a job so you can start taking steps to being more independent. Start by looking at places within walking distance from your home. If there are no options for you there, look for places that accessible by public transportation. Try talking to your therapist and see if they know of any job placement centers that could help you find work that you'd be willing and able to do. You'll need to set up a bank account, as well, so you have a safe place to store money that your money has no control over. Start saving for a cheap vehicle. Look online for cheap rentals in your area to get an idea of how much you'll need to live on your own. If you have any friends, consider being roommates to cut costs and make the transition into living on your own easier. Even a Google search of how to be more independent will net you some great ideas and starting points.
If you can't change her behavior, don't dwell on it. Just do everything to can to get out. She may not realize she's crippling you, but you thankfully have the wherewithal to know that she's smothering you and hurting your development. Set your sights on self improvement and don't let her get you down. You're an adult and deserve to live like one. If she does something to stop you, firmly tell her that you appreciate her input, but you want to live for yourself. If that makes her cry, let her cry. You don't have to apologize for wanting to improve your life.
>>29198020
I actually punched my mom in the face for this when I was 19.
Try this. Modern society says women should not be hit but they are incorrect. They need to be smacked around to be tamed.
>>29198363
You sicken me.
Leave this reality.
>>29198427
Just leave you roastie loving normalfag
>>29198446
Taste my demon blade you mortal man.
Feel my blade of power. My energy within.
I am the true king of this realm. I am the warrior chosen by god himself. Fight, then run.
>>29198020
>she's being "attacked"
leave the house
my mom was literally mentally ill and abusive and took any suggestion in that direction as an "attack"
she got things under control again within a couple years after i left home
get a job. it will help your self esteem a lot. save at least a few thousand dollars (should take half a year or so) and inform her that you are moving after you have already moved.
i'd second the advice to talk to your therapist about where to start the job search. there may be some social services. my state has excellent employment centers where they help you look through ads and have work areas to use for all the related work. i think most states have centers like these because it makes sense if you need the infrastructure for unemployment benefits anyway.
you might also look into temp agencies in your area. it's like a modeling agency but for short lived job gigs (that sometimes turn permanent). it's a great way to gain experience if you have none.
>>29198020
>I cannot live with this woman.
>I am twenty years old
Why ARE you living with this woman?
Perhaps to use her as an excuse?
>>29198054
>If you are too attached to the comforts of living with your parents, then don't complain when you have to deal with the downsides
This isn't some normal downside like having to do chores or go to church every sunday. Its quite clear OP's mom is bat shit crazy and she is suffocating her own son.
>>29198589
He enables her by not growing up
>>29198604
How the hell could anyone grow up under those circumstances? But yeah he should do everything he can to leave but bear in mind she may try and stop him.
>>29198295
not op, just chiming in that i think you are pretty cool for typing this all out... very articulated, good advice.
>>29198020
Don't listen to your mom. Don't ask your mom for permission when you want to do something.
In the words of philosopher LaBeouf:
JUST DO IT
BETA BETA BUTT BOY
BETA BETA BUTT BOY
YOUSA GONNA GET FUCKED IN DA ASS WHEN YOU GET OUT IN DA REAL WORLD!
BETA BETA BUTT BOY!
>>29198295
I wish, man. I can barely manage to leave my house for therapy once a week. I don't know if I would be able to hold down a job, regardless of how much I want and need one. It seems like it's the only way out of my situation but my situation is precisely what's preventing me from doing it, you know? I need to be mentally-stable before I can work and I can't become mentally-stable unless I work. What should I do?
I find it funny because I used to be in a similar situation.
If you think about it, it's kind of hilarious how one woman has her claws in us for the remainder of their lives. You're never truly free until your parents die?
>>29198755
>d I can't become mentally-stable unless I work. What should I do?
Are you making a real effort to become mentally stable? I don't mean going to the therapist and taking your ssri when you remember. I mean
>sleep schedule
>diet and daily exercise, doing them truly properly
>socialization, positive long term relationships. real online friendships are more than good enough.
>respectable psychiatrist, never missing a dose of prescriptions
>regular therapy with an agenda
>a diary or journal and/or ongoing project with your therapist such as a thought diary or goal planning
>coping strategies and contingency plans for difficult moments or larger challenges
>a hobby or something simple you control and can be proud of
>any supplements your psychiatrist like. shut ins are sometimes low on vitamin d which can cause fatigue. epa in fish oil can make a little difference for some with depression. etc.
>time management skills
not everyone has to do all those things but if you need to make more progress faster, looking at some of them could get you past plateaus
I hate my generation so fucking much. Just fuckkin leave dude, get out and experience life. Or stay at home and complain on r9k
>>29198604
>child enables parent
>parent doesn't teach or guide child into adulthood
>child somehow figured it out
Lmao
>>29198020
the bible says you have to do whatever your parents tell you. You literally have no right to disobey them. In a Godly society you would be killed.
>>29198427
you would be killed.
>>29199990
It's easy to tell someone to "Just fucking leave" when you've given it all of two seconds' worth of thought and it isn't your life on the line. I have no friends, no money, no car, no other family, no degree, no confidence, no energy, no work experience, and no mental stability. Where would I go? Where would I stay? How would I get there? What would I do? How would I reintegrate into society? How could I avoid deteriorating without access to my medication or therapy? Please, tell me, Mister Cavalier Internet Poster. Tell me how I could realistically uproot my whole entire life without making things even worse for myself.
>>29200571
You can't, anon. But at the same time you might have to. If she won't let you start to get your independence in order than you'll end up staying there until she's dead and you're dead inside.
>>29200269
God's a dumb faggot.
>>29199990
>I hate my generation so fucking much.
Kill yourself. Not even joking man. Just end your life, please.
>>29200571
it's a catch 22, what can I say. Just pick the lesser of the 2 evils.
>finally move out of mom's house at 23
>never calls or texts me unless it's to complain about me or my sister
Why
Why does she bother
Why does she think I'm going to respond?? Who would want to???
