So first let me introduce the players. There is me, a Sri Lankan Muslim living and born in America. My two parents who grew up in Sri Lanka and very active in the mosque, especially my father. My girlfriend is a Shinto half Japanese (mother) half white (father). My girlfriend and I met in a school club for people who want to be doctors in the future, and I held a leadership position my senior year and she will now have one her coming senior year, since I am going to college next year (about 30 min away from HS) and she will be a senior. I also know her older sister and her bf through the club and actually knew the sister before DS, who I will refer to as my gf.
tl;dr: My family is Muslim, my girlfriend is not, so my parents don't want us dating despite being socially awkward robot and finally achieving something socially
continued below
Anyway my parents are very conservative Muslims and very strongly want me to marry a Muslim and discourage me from talking with nonMuslim females too much beyond school purposes. I am well aware of this so I dated my gf, who I will refer to as DS (not real name), secretly. I did not tell her that my parents were unaware of us dating, and I told my parents that I was off studying for AP's and finals with friends. Clearly this method is less effective when there is no school. That will come into play later.
Well, at my school at the end of the year is an awards ceremony, which we were both invited to. At this time I had shown to my mom pictures of DS, like her in a dress and her at Six Flags with me (it was a school field trip, not date) and told her good things about her like her grades and involvement in the club. Well, I walk into the lobby that leads into the auditorium at my school and there is DSMom (Japanese), was very excited to see me and basically ran to me and said "DS is already in the auditorium". This is when my mom began to suspect that I was getting "too close" to DS.
However, it was the happiness of DSMom seeing me that made her most upset, because of a friend my mom and dad (I'll call him Mark) and the struggles he goes through due to a bad marriage.
So Mark is a fellow Sri Lankan muslim, friends with my parents. Well, Mark is an engineer so he makes pretty good money. The problem comes from the fact that his wife is a Sri Lankan Christian (not sure how devout she is though) and she is the laziest bum I've ever seen. She does not have a job, yet does no cooking or house work and only participates in Islamic Holidays, so Eid, and their children are not raised very religiously since they disputed on taking them to mosque or church, which to my parents is absolutely awful. So now Mark's wife basically leeches off his engineering wage and does nothing. In fact whenever we visit she is watching TV and does not turn it off until the episode is done (which is rude, no matter your religion) and Mark has to make tea since she doesn't. My mom looks at the situation and sees that Mark's wife basically married Mark only to leech off him since she knew he would be successful, which probably is true based on her behavior.
However, now my mom equates all nonmuslim women to being like Mark's wife, which is not true at all, I've seen plenty of nonmuslim women be housewives. But lately my mom has been warning me of women in college who will be looking for a "Mrs. Degree", in other words they are there looking for men who they think will be successful and have "honey come out of their mouths", then marry and leech off the successful husband (let me interject and say that the college I'm going to is fairly exclusive and costs $60,000 a year so going there to just get a rich husband would be pointless, though the mentality she has is something she applies mainly to white people and my gf is half white and my college is about three quarters white people and has awful diversity).
You obviously don't understand your religion very much or you would know dating is against Islam. Whats next? Will you eat pork and get a pet dog?
Anyway this is dragging on for too long, so let me get to the point. On memorial day we went to a Renaissance Faire, movie, and dinner which took the whole day. I told my mom I went with my friends, but I was showing her a video of some guys jousting when she was texting me and the popup came while she was watching the video, which basically confirmed her suspicions since the first one said "Thanks for taking me to the Ren Faire"My mom was mainly upset because she doesn't want me to end up like Mark's marriage, so I should marry a Muslim girl who will be a housewife, and that DS is bringing my grades down. You see, I started telling about her to my mom around when senioritis started kicking in, so my grades went from 95+ to mainly either a C or a full 100. My parents started to wonder what was causing these drops and blame it on dating DS. During the "talk" I had with my parents my dad compared the salary of a 11 dollar an hour warehouse laborer to a doctor getting about $150,000 a year and that I should focus on my studies. However, I see many non-muslim people dating and do perfectly fine, and muslim people that don't date and struggle to get into medical school, and honestly it seems more of a nonfactor. But my dad did tell me the story of a guy at his high school back in Sri Lanka who was top of his class but then fell in love with a girl, got her pregnant, and then disappeared and now nobody knows what happened to him, and told me the dangers of dating and premarital sex.
>>29081766
Yet do you know the reasons for not dating in Islam? It's to prevent premarital sex and meant as a counter to "hook up" culture, which my gf and I despise. And my parents think dating equates failure. And I want to marry somebody I meet on my own, not through the Islamic courting process.
But the second reason my dad didn't want me to date was pressure from the Muslim community since my dad is active in the mosque and has a very good reputation as a good and kind man, which he is. But in Islam there is an extremely strong stigma against talking with the opposite gender, so me being seen with a light skinned girl in public could destroy all of that if I am seen by one of the mosque goers. Now, this does make sense to me but DS is actually pretty shy to show affection in public (in private is a different matter.) which does help really mitigate my dad's problem. I will interject and say that to me, the separation of genders is not very helpful since it only happens to Muslim girls, while I get a chance to talk to plenty of non-Muslim girls in school and in public and all that. So I can talk to most girls casually, but if they are of the same religion they suddenly become an alien since I never get to talk to any. Now, my parents said they wouldn't mind if I dated a muslim girl, but the problem is, how am I supposed to meet Muslim girls if I cannot talk to them, touch them (hand shaking forbidden)? Btw that dating muslim girls mentality is actually pretty liberal of them, very few Muslim parents feel that way.
Also, my mom does not like that a lot of western women wear very short pants, and when she met DSMom her dress did not go very far down which also offended my mom, and honestly I do feel that women need to cover up a bit more sometimes. However, DS feels the same as me and my mom about that, and there is not a single short pant in her closet besides the ones DSMom tries to get her to wear, and DS did complain at the Ren Faire about all the people showing off their bellies. But during the "talk" my dad asked me if DS wore short pants like DSMom and I had to say yes because I didn't want to say the "wrong" answer and start an argument. My parents made me send a break up text, but we switched to another app so that we can still text and only pretended to break up over text message for show.
Personally, I feel that when dating somebody you should keep the long term in mind, and for me it seems like it just isn't going to work out unless I somehow convert her to Islam. However I really don't want to break up her with her and DS doesn't either. I am also socially not that great so finally getting a girlfriend (this is first dating xp for both of us) is something big for me. We also have very similar interests despite different backgrounds, we both have pet chickens, love anime and vidya, hate shopping, and we can talk for hours upon hours about stuff. Basically we are both nerds. In fact our first conversation was about anime. And I don't want to go through the Islamic courting process where I cannot talk alone with the potential spouse and there is parental supervision for everything and I don't really get to know the girl.
One last thing, I haven't told DS any of this, I told her my parents are were just upset at the time and need time to cool down and were going full control mode over everything, which is partly true, the full control mode part, my mom wants access to all of my grades in college which I will worry about later.
What do? Make her muslim? Break up?
>>29081723
Well at least you have a quick way out anon, just declare you don't want to be a Muslim and they'll kill you on the spot.
>>29081723
She can convert to Islam if she's shinto, Shinto isn't a religion anyway.
Also there's Sri Lankan members of the umma? Good
>>29081832
Get a job and BTFO your parents as soon as possible dude. When you're 18 (21?) you're seen as an adult and you should take full advantage of that. Your parents can't do anything to you anymore then. If they squeal tell them they should've stayed in Sri Lanka then if they don't like how it goes in America
>>29081890
Take her to an unlocal mosque. She'll soften up to the faith if she meets a few sisters
fuck off terrorist normie
>>29081997
>Convert her to Islam
OP is looking for good advice
>>29081723
good riddance
stupid sandnigger
kill yourself
>Disregarding Allah for pussy
>throwing away 72 virgins for one virgin?
Anon can't do math.
Fuck your parents. Move out ASAP
>>29082024
This is actually a pretty good idea, except that I cannot take her into the men's section and I cannot go into the women's section without being berated. Hell, I haven't even seen the women's section for many mosques I've been to. Makes the conversion stuff pretty difficult sadly.
>>29082114
I'm moving out to college next year, luckily. My gf is not but at least an LDR is easier to keep secret.
>>29081723
wow anon i sute like to pffer you advice but
you are a fucking muslim and you fucks segregate yourselves. make like a tree and gogo fuck yo self
>>29081890
In Japan short skirts are no big deal but real sluts wear shirts that don't cover their shoulders and collarbone. Your mother should learn that different cultures have different standards and stop being a judgemental bitch
>>29082137
It can never be break up with your gf you fucking Muslim.
If making her convert to your shit religion is the only way and you refuse to rebel like normal teens then it should end.
>>29082307
>rebel like normal teens
I'm already rebelling by dating her in the first place.
Convert to Islam? Legit? That's the worst you can do to her.
The only time you should be thinking of making her to convert to Islam is when both of you are out of University/College and plan to get married. Even by then you shouldn't even consider it because you'd be full grown adults.
As a person who was forced to convert to Islam, you disgust me by just wanting to do such thing to someone whom you love. You don't do that kind of shit to the people you love. Get out.
>>29081723
Just get her pregnant, maybe pull the condom out in the middle of sex. That will change everything and pretty much force your parents to be okay with your relationship.
Hey op, how about u realize that all the rules and regulations of Islam are fucking stupid and that you don't need religion to have a connection to the divine and just do what you want
Like how the fuck do your parentsake you send a break up text without physical force
Tell your parents they're in America now and that you'll do what you like
It's your life not theirs for fucks sake
And if you depend on them for financial support and they'll make you homeless if you don't follow their stupid medieval religeon
Just lie to them
Also grades arent worth worrying about, why would you just want a house wife, and who gives a fuck if sluts wear shorts
>>29082549
No you're not you're still a mama's boy and are fucking honest as fuck to a bunch of controlling fucktards
>>29082646
This knock that bitch up OP
>>29081723
Kill yourself mudslime scum
>>29081723
OP, you seem like a decent guy but I have to say something.
This is kinda proof that immigrants coming into the country bring shitty aspects of their culture and don't integrate. It's pretty fucking ridiculous that you're not allowed to date non-muslims, why the fuck couldn't your parents conform to the social norms of this country if they wanted to move here so badly? You might say it's just you and your parents but I know plenty of people just like you. People try so hard to be "tolerant" of other cultures that it actually creates a sense of entitlement among immigrants and further prevents them from assimilating.
If you have any shred of self respect you will ignore your parents desires to not have you date, it's your fucking life and they shouldn't control it. I'm not talking about hiring prostitutes or having random degenerate sex, I'm just talking about dating a girl who isn't Muslim. Are we so far fucked as a country that we can't go "hey, maybe it's fucked up that they brought that kinda idea here and are trying to impose it?"
>>29081723
Just keep dating her in secret ad see how things go besides there isn't really a problem to dating as long as youdon't do any haram stuff like having sex before marriage but you said you weren't doing that so thats ok.
>>29081723
OP,
You must explain the entire situation to your girlfriend so she can help you plan.
So far, you have all of the elements you need for your life to be pleasant: a girlfriend who loves you, potential for a good job, an acceptance letter to a college near that girlfriend, and a future MIL who likes you.
First, you need to text your girlfriend. Tell her you have some things about your family you need to talk to her about. Don't leave it at a vague "We need to talk". That's bitch material that does nothing but make people needlessly worry. Set up the conversation in neutral territory, like a coffee shop your parents won't visit.
Next, when you meet up, just explain to her that you didn't want to hurt her feelings, so you didn't tell her all of the rude and mean things your parents said about her and all non-Muslim girls. Tell her that you need to explain the problems now, because the implications of their beliefs are starting to complicate your relationship.
From there, make a planning session for good alibis until you move out to go to college. Come up with fake study groups for classes that are already easy for you. Populate these fake study groups with good friends willing to provide alibis.
Next, let your parents have access to your grades after much whining as a red herring. You aren't really being subservient to their bullshit, but by making it look like a big deal they will take it as a sign of you giving up.
You'll have to see eachother a bit less to make your plans believable, but you should be able to hang out about twice on weekdays, and once on the weekend after mosque if you tell your mom you're visiting a new mosque near your church. Bring the girlfriend and pitch it as an interesting philosophy/anthropology exercise. Eat a meal together afterwords and hang out while talking about your church and school studies. Maybe she'll just casually enjoy studying religion. I do! (Bart Ehrman is my homeboy.)
Good luck, OP!
>>29083300
Also, you can have a mixed-faith household if you aren't a dick about it. She can have non-alcoholic cooking wine in the kitchen and cook a lot of beef instead of delicious pork. You can be cool with her having a career/driving/asking her ancestors for favors. Do both sets of holidays. Make it work!
As for raising kids in religion, I suggest letting them sample it, study theology, and see if it makes sense for them. If they like Islam or Shinto, great. If not, oh well. It's not like you can force them to think Allah is awesome. I personally grew out of thinking Elohim was all that. (He's actually kind of a spastic nutbar. This understanding is not my parents' fault.)
>>29081723
2x4chan Has an Islam board
Go here and ask them. I'm sure they receive a lot of questions like this every day. Also R/Islam would help
>>29081723
Don't fall for the interfaith relationship meme anon. My parents fell for it but are pretty much only together because they have no other choice Try and convert her and it might workout and your Dad would probably be pretty accepting of it.
>>29081890
1) Fuck off you retarded normalshit
2) The correct thing to do here is to cut yourself off from your shitty parents; doing this hurts them a million times more than it does you, and there's no point wasting your fucking life over trying to please people who will die halfway through it anyway.
3) youll never do this because again, retarded, but there you go.
>>29081723
Get her pregnant anon.
I'm Indian and I have a Korean gf. My parents (and her's) became much more accepting of our relationship when they learned she was with child. Now there is nothing they can do to break us up.
Just say fuck you to your parents and keep dating her. If you got something good going for you then don't ruin it. I don't see the issue
Break up with her. Myself and some of my friends are half brown half yellow and all of our parents are divorced. Interfaith relationships don't work.
I'm pretty sure according to Islam muslim woman and non-muslim man marriage is forbidden, however muslim man can marry non-muslim woman and in this case kid will be considered muslim.
Just tell it to your parents mate,it's not like they're braindead sheeps following the most retarded religion on earth so they propably don't even know their own religion well enough to know its rules, right? :^)At worst you'll be beheaded on spot so don't worry, you have a fast way out.
>>29081723
Sunni, Shia, Sufi?
>>29081890
Become an Shi'ite or some more liberal sect and tell your parents to fuck off. My grandad was a Shia Paki muslim and the only time he ever acknowledged his religion was on holidays and daily prayer, and mosque. Just jump sects, cause your parents sound like Sunnis, and sunnis can eat shit.
>>29083812
>Korean
>Indian
really curious to see the offspring
>>29081723
>Move to a non-muslim majority country
>Want nothing to do with non-muslims
Then what's the fucking point of moving over? Tell your parents to drop their shit-tier religion or go back to the desert.
