Hello /r9k/
For a while now I have been posting on here about myself and a girl named Marina.
I read a lot of posts saying my story has given people hope, or that it makes people happy, and that some are even considering visiting an escort in the hope of a similar outcome to my own.
Although I was intending to continue writing about my life with Marina, I have just returned from a long lonesome walk and I have decided to post a different kind of thread.
I hope you understand.
This is likely to be my last thread.
I am twenty-four years old.
I live in London, UK.
I have never visited an escort. Recently I was considering it, but I became so over-analytical of the idea and so impassioned that instead I decided to post a story about what would be the ideal outcome if I did visit one. Perhaps I knew at heart I wouldn't enjoy or appreciate it, and that what I long for is an intimacy that money can't afford.
I disguised my writing style so that people would think I was French. At first I intended to make it clear I was from Marseille, but then I decided that any coastal Western European town could be a possible location for my story.
I have never had a serious girlfriend.
I have no friends.
I also post the threads with lengthy single-sentence greentext and an accompanying youtube link to a song that I listened to while typing it. Before posting these threads here I posted them regularly on /mu/ for around three years but I received at least 50 bans for doing so.
>>29055162
Are you serious? Or just an impostor? You never tend to post this soon.
Either way, I enjoyed your stories, man. I'll love you to death.
>>29055162
>I also post the threads with lengthy single-sentence greentext and an accompanying youtube link to a song that I listened to while typing it.
I also love those.
Man, I don't blame you or anything. It was my pleasure reading the greentexts.
Although you probably shouldn't have told it was fake, just to keep it more mystical or something.
Marina does not exist outside my imagination and the imagination of those who have read my story and taken the time to picture what she may be like.
If the psychological diagnosis is valid, my personality is schizoid, paranoid, avoidant among others. I believe I may be a narcissist and possibly autistic, though I believe my sensitivity and empathy towards others suggests I am not. I hope I am neither. The last time my father spoke to me, over email, he accused me of being a narcissist. My brother likely feels the same way.
I have just taken a long walk around the city.
I walked through large crowds of people, many of them smiling and laughing and talking while walking towards a bar or event.
I saw so many romantic couples and all I could do to hide my regret and sadness was to look at the ground and adopt an expression suggesting I was also on my way somewhere and did not notice and feel saddened the joy of those around me.
I no longer believe I am capable of living a "happy life", or of experiencing happiness in a way that is pure and uncomplicated for a sustained period of time.
I have detached myself entirely from human society. 4chan is the only community I belong to, though the sense of belonging here is obviously vague at best.
I will soon turn 25. I am sickened by regret. I am burdened by hopelessness. My perspective is dictated by self-pity, resentment and despair. I am bad company.
I feel both too young and inexperienced and too sober and disdainful to feel comfortable in the company of others.
I work a job that I dislike immensely and I have wanted to quit for a long time. Soon I will have to or I believe I will suffer some sort of breakdown.
white women are designated for black breeding
>>29055343
man, you and me are so alike. I'm 24 too, soon to be 25. and a fucking friendless virgin. there's no escape.
Last summer I lived in another part of the city, and each weekend I would dress nicely and walk around alone. I partly hoped to meet somebody, though I knew by walking along this was very unlikely and I perhaps realized this. I told myself things would change by this summer but here we are again.
This year has gone by so quickly and now my youth is frankly over.
My ambitions have given way to the practicalities of staying alive. I am not wealthy and I am too stubbornly independent and afraid of being blackmailed to rely on anybody else or ask them for anything.
Although I don't believe much of what /r9k/ appears to believe, and often discusses in a rather humorously exaggerated way, I appreciate the sense of community here and I would like to thank you for the company you have provided me with. I hope my own posts went some way towards providing something in return.
Thank you /r9k/.
>>29055020
>I have never visited an escort
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>29055442
kys yourself honestly. No one cares.
>>29055162
>At first I intended to make it clear I was from Marseille
kek, I was actually assuming this or Nizza
>>29055458
Well, c'mon. It was too good to be real.
OP, I feel your pain, or even share it. Are you "genetically inferior" by chance? I mean, if you were a chad, thing would be so different, wouldn't they?
Aren't you tempted to actually visit an escort though?
I really enjoyed your story, it was the best thing I've read in years.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mlw5ywre7sU
Holy fuck OPoriginal
marina lives in my heart
>>29055621
No, she's real. Whatever appears on your computer screen, your eyes perceive it as reality. Therefore, reality is less than imagination.
It was more about the journey then the destination.
Or rather, I will accept this end then the one about her betraying you and going behind your back.
>>29055020
Dude, last week your story literally animated me to get my life back on track at 24 years old because it gave me hope that I could still find love and be happy.
Now I don't know what to think anymore.
>>29055908
I wanted to be honest, as it felt wrong to trick people into thinking their own life could replicate the one I claimed to be living after meeting Marina. I hope your life improves regardless.
Out of all the boards, what made you start on /mu/?
Anyway I've enjoyed your story senpai, I suspected it was fake a while back but it was still fun to read. If you put out some kind of book or short story collection I would definitely check it out. Good luck in the future I guess
I haven't been following these threads, can anyone give a summary of the Marina story?
I don't know what to say... but the obvius thing.
TRY WRITING A FUCKING NOVEL, OP. No kidding, i would totally read a book as well written as your story was. You know how failure feels, and you got the means to express it with words. You are very creative. At least you have to try.
Please, Op. At least try it.Based Landlord will always be basedeven if he doesn't exist
Prove it by using that trip you created for the one thread that had a lot of impostors.
Until then, there's no proof that you're not another one.
>>29055961
I started posting humorous greentexts about Grimes (the musician) around 2010 or 2011 on /mu/ that were based on my love of coming-of-age movies. I then began posting general coming-of-age style greentexts with photos of cute girls attached to each post. Then I posted ones that weren't just about coming-of-age stuff. Thank you, and good luck to you also.
>>29056026
Here is the tripcode I used briefly in that thread.
You sound a bit sad right now, Op.We can be sad toghether.
>>29056036
hey, can you dump your qt folder at least? I imagine you have a ton.
>>29056062
I don't feel very sad. Whenever I do these days I instantly tell myself that sadness and tears are pointless. But something needs to change. Either I settle for a life of isolation and close myself off completely and narrow my self-awareness so that I'm no longer troubled by the concept of loving and being loved by another person. Or I do something to find a girlfriend, and find a job I enjoy, or at least live a life that does not simply consist of enduring each day and escaping with relief to the squalid isolation of yet another rented bedroom.
>>29056073
I have many, yes.
>>29056144
Maybe share a zip somehow (dropbox/mega etc)?
But why didn't you told us it was all fake?
I would have read it anyway.Now I feel a bit...feely
>>29055442
We liked your stories. Thanks. Thanks for being a part of the community.
>>29056023
This. I'd read any novel written by escort bro.
>>29055938
thanks senpai. I really enjoyed the ride nonetheless.
>>29056023
Escortbro, listen to this man.
>>29056263
>>29056227
>>29056198
>>29056026
>>29055343
B A I T
A
I
T
Fuck you imposter, Marina lives on
>>29055020
Marina is a tranny OP
>>29056198
I posted the first thread because I felt like visiting an escort but distracted myself by writing a story about it instead. I posted this thread because while thinking about what to write about in today's thread about my relationship with Marina I became so despondent walking around alone but also felt that something needs to change. I have thought about ending my life quite a lot, especially recently. Recently I reminded myself with something like relief that at least there is always suicide. I am not trying to attract pity or manipulate the way people think about me by saying that, it's just a fact. I felt being honest here would be worthwhile, even though many people seemed to already believe what I have been writing was untrue.
OP is fake. You can clearly read it isn't /escortbro/
>>29055484
This is escortbro we're talking about. Everyone cares. Lurk moar to learn how to shitpost.
>>29056357
...but why don't you actually go visit an escort?
I mean, what's the worst that could happen?
>>29055162
>I have no friends
You have us, escortbro.
>>29056445
Because I know I wouldn't experience any satisfaction or happiness just by "using" a girl's body in return for money. I am not ignorant of female sexuality (however autistic it sounds expressing it that way) but I would like to get to know a girl and do more with her than just have sex her. I am also prone to imagining what it would be like and I know if it was just a formal experience with little intimacy or tenderness I would feel disgusted with myself. I think it's more than just the fact I haven't penetrated a girl's vagina that makes me a little sad. I'd like to meet a girl and for her to appreciate my existence and trust me as a good person. I realize how that may sounds but it's the truth in any case.
>>29056508
That's right. We'll always have each other. Always.
Lately we have requested a photo of you, escortbro. Since is your last thread, I'd be nice if you showed yourself to us, although I'd understand if you don't want to.Maybe we could even cheer you up based on your lookings
>>29056536
>I realize how that may sounds but it's the truth in any case
I've visited two escorts myself and stopped after the second, because what you're assuming is actually true, they can't give you the one thing you really crave for, which is real emotional bonding
>>29056665
>they can't give you the one thing you really crave for, which is real emotional bonding
You can't buy happiness.
You could try going to /soc/, escortbro. Or even posting on the template about yourself threads. I've heard a lot of people get friendsand even some couples met eachotherthrough there.
No one has a screencap of this "amazing" story?
I feel like I'm missing out here
>>29056772
Thread 01: https://desustorage.org/r9k/thread/28427858/
Thread 02: https://desustorage.org/r9k/thread/28473632/
Thread 03: https://desustorage.org/r9k/thread/28563840/
Thread 04: https://desustorage.org/r9k/thread/28588279/
Thread 05: https://desustorage.org/r9k/thread/28634920/
Thread 06: https://desustorage.org/r9k/thread/28681400/
Thread 07: https://desustorage.org/r9k/thread/28745482/
Thread 08: https://desustorage.org/r9k/thread/28798775/
Thread 09: https://desustorage.org/r9k/thread/28821140/
Thread 10: https://desustorage.org/r9k/thread/28912265/
Thread 11: https://desustorage.org/r9k/thread/29032733/
I got baited. I got baited so hard with this story.
Why, Op. Why.I wanted to belive
>>29056646
I don't own a camera and the quality of webcam is pretty poor (I've had tape over it for years and it's effected the lens). But I don't want to post a photo as I am afraid someone might recognize me. I don't have any recent photos of myself anyway. Here's a photo I have of as me as a kid.
>>29056909
Welp, you seemed to be cute as a child.
>>29056894
>I wanted to belive
We all did
>>29056965
Cute children usually grow up to be ugly.
>>29055343
>I have detached myself entirely from human society. 4chan is the only community I belong to, though the sense of belonging here is obviously vague at best.
>I will soon turn 25. I am sickened by regret. I am burdened by hopelessness. My perspective is dictated by self-pity, resentment and despair. I am bad company.
>I feel both too young and inexperienced and too sober and disdainful to feel comfortable in the company of others.
>I work a job that I dislike immensely and I have wanted to quit for a long time. Soon I will have to or I believe I will suffer some sort of breakdown.
That god damn feel
>>29056989
I really doubt it is that bad, though.
We all tend to think the worst about ourselves, Op. We keep focusing on the bad things about our body and getting stuck about how to remove them/why we are this way. But, at the same time, you are overlooking all the good things you got going for you. And yes, you have those.
We could help you out, man. After 10 fucking threads, now it's not the time to start laughing about you. But it's purely your decision.
>>29055162
O shit, you were the
>so winter's coming up /mu/
anon? I really enjoyed those stories, thanks for the feels
>>29056785
Just finished the first thread, I think I can see where this is headed, but I don't want to stop reading
>>29057094
Go for it, anon. The threads are gold.
OP, for fucks sake: >>29056023
>>29056785
can someone put them all in one convenient pastebin?
It was fun while it lasted, escortbro.
>>29057072
I am not attempting to trick people into feeling sorry for me. I've been on /r9k/ for a long time and just by browsing here I know that others have it worse than me, though of course the intensity of an individual's despair is hard to compare and quantify, regardless of the reason for that despair. I accept that my self-pity and sensitivity also contribute to the state of my existence, and I do not blame others or life itself for any of my actions or the way my life is going. It really would be narcissistic to do all of that I feel. I also accept that I am at least financially secure and not unemployed, though I was for quite a long time and became very desperate eventually. But I have to accept that there is something fundamentally askew about my character, and although I believe it benefits me in some ways in others it renders me completely helpless in the face of a world I am either repulsed and overwhelmed by depending on the day.
I hope this is untrue OP
Godspeed
>tfw it was too good to be true
Atleast you have entertained us for a good while.
Loved your threads.
>>29057093
Yes. That was me. I notice somebody has been posting very similar threads on /r9k/ recently but that isn't me.
>>29056909
You could tell it was fake from the chekhovs gun with her retarded brother.
I enjoyed the story until around your fourth thread when i realized this shit had to be fake.
>>29055162
I really liked your posts and found some of my favorite songs off of you.
Thank you.
Don't go, please
>>29057253
I didn't really intend for Lucas to serve as a Chekhov's Gun but I understand why it would seem that way. To be clear I didn't plan the story in any way. I just laid down for thirty minutes to build up some restlessness and then wrote whatever came to mind. Many things I said about myself were true however.
>>29057322
>>29055162
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvO6TB5rmC8&list=PLd-puyepF5DqIghm_q7Toc7yAe_t8L7wy&index=124
Do you have a playlist?
you have really a good taste in music
>>29057322
(this is the guy you replied to,forgot to put it in original post)
WRITE.A.FUCKING.NOVEL
>>29057345
No I don't have a playlist sorry. I could post a bunch of links if you like, though I assume they are all archived here someplace. Also it seems to me like this thread looks like I'm boasting or trying to make everything about myself, but that isn't and wasn't my intention. I was being honest when I said I didn't feel comfortable wearing a tripcode, and for a similar reason I hate drawing attention to myself as seems to imply that I feel my life is more worth of attention or something than the lives of other people here, which I don't believe.
>>29055442
I am a newfag and havent read your stories, buuut
If you wrote stories and people liked it, maybe you have a talent for writing? Write a book, faggot
>>29057428
Wouldn't a place where we all have usernames be better? Like a forum? But only for true robots? Maybe even a secret forum where people can only get in with invitations.
>>29055484
>kill yourself yourself
??????
>>29057428
>>29057345
>>29057312
You aren't boasting or anything
you're opening up to us about what you feel bad about.
We don't hate you, we all like you a lot
Most of us like you a lot.
>>29057312- is me
>>29057428
Post links and cut the "I am so useless" thing, dude.
This thread is about you. We cared about your shit. The least you can do is deliver.
Thanks for that faggot, you made me lose every ounce of hope i had.
Now im killing myself.
>>29057495
I sound rude, but it is the way that it is. You are worth more than you think, fag.
>>29056357
>Recently I reminded myself with something like relief that at least there is always suicide.
The relief I feel when I've decided to kill myself calms me down so much to the point that I don't feel like killing myself as much anymore for a short period of time.
It's kinda funny now that I think about it.
So based landlord isn't real?
>>29057495
>>29057522
I am not attempting to resort to despair or express vague feelings of worthlesness, sorry if it seems that way. Deliver what?
>>29057611
The music links. You have a pretty good taste.
And cheer up dude.
>>29057476
>what is anxiety
>>29056036
>based on my love of coming-of-age movies
can you list some of your favourites?
>>29057727
how is that relevant? I'm not talking about meetups, I'm talking about a literal internet forum.
>>29057800
Some people would be afraid of posting with usernames.
>>29056702
Can't buy me looooooooooove
loooooooooooove
Can't buy me looooooooooove
loooooooooooove
>>29055020
What's this all about? Can somebody explain?
>>29057874
unoriginal! Unoriginal my ass!
see dis, senpai >>29056785
>>29057641
>>29057641
>>29057587
It's just stuff I like. I guess I can post some from memory by theme or something. I realize it's gooey.
Songs About Family:
>Rilo Kiley - A Better Son / Daughter
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0sy7y54XAE
>The Beatles - She's Leaving
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oAYiuFBqyLE
>Panda Bear - Take Pills
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-43dKcfr38
>Dave Berry - Mama
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARZ7EzQpybk
>Patron Saint Of Bridge Burners - Crystal Meth Blues
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZCl6Gm14Y4
>Sun Kil Moon - I Can't Live Without My Mother's Love
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IWwAUAWN5lQ
>Neutral Milk Hotel - Two Headed Boy Part 2
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21exnGWN-uI
>Los Jaivas - Mira Ninita
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67ZTYD97vlg
>Advance Base - My Sister's Birthday
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhK_pNy_hLo
>Morrissey - Used To Be A Sweet Boy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84UZVvcohkQ
>Pink Floyd - Mother
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lX3uCuFKlqw
>Tom T. Hall - I Care
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RmES5trIORM
>Elliott Smith - Where I Get It From
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHWQ5UyyVXQ
>Gilbert O'Sullivan - Alone Again
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ELnhjGw4Zs
>>29057611
deliver the novel
your writing made me feel and genuinely feel something i've not for years fiction or not you have a talent,you got to try something.you say your financialy secure and with nothing to do surely you could dedicate a few month to writing something then if it goes tits up an hero
whatever you do i wish you good fucking luck escortbro
>>29057508
Don't go away
Stay for a while
>>29056036
Damn that was when I was on /mu/. I probably saw you posting back in those days, I was lurking pretty much all day UK time back then
How far we've come
>>29057235
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off of you
You'd be like heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much
At long last love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off of you
>>29057767
Here are some that fit the definition that I like:
Fast Times At Ridgemont High (1982)
A Swedish Love Story (1970)
Melody / S.W.A.L.K (1971)
Lucas (1986)
My Bodyguard (1980)
Stand By Me (1986)
The Breakfast Club (1985)
Harold and Maude (1971)
The Last Picture Show (1971)
Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore (1974)
Running On Empty (1988)
A Night In The Life Of Jimmy Reardon (1988)
Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986)
Sixteen Candles (1984)
Pretty In Pink (1986)
Dazed and Confused (1993)
The Squid and the Whale (2005)
The Virgin Suicides (1999)
American Graffiti (1973)
Dead Poets Society (1989)
My Girl (1991)
Maybe some others that don't come to mind right away.
I gotta go. Op, i sincerely hope you to live a long and happy life. I know it sounds memey, but if you put a little effort into it, you'll get better. We'll be here for you, and probably we'll always be. Keep posting. Try to write that novel.
And just try to find what makes you happy, instead of getting stuck in the fact that you aren't as good as you'd like right now.
Good luck, bro.
>>29056061
So I guess you're him then.
Shame. Some elements felt too convenient, or too good, but I still hoped it would turn out to be true.
Well, don't feel too bad, escortbro. I'm sure you changed a few people for the better with your story. It might not have been real, but it still motivated some people in those threads, including me, to better themselves.
>>29057832
I DON'T CARE TOO
MUCH FOR MONEY
MONEY CAN'T BUY ME LOVE
>>29055020 (OP)
Interesting. Not really surprising, in retrospect.
I was quite fond of your first thread, far more than the subsequent ones. I found myself falling away after that initial entry, skimming rather than reading. Knowing what I know now, that begins to make sense.
Your first post may have been fictional insofar as the circumstances were concerned, but the sentiments were authentic. The loneliness, the inability to connect with others and all the rest were experiences you could write about with authority. Although, in all honesty, these were the elements of your story I could relate to. Perhaps that's why they had far more resonance than the others.
The "coming of age" genre is something I've always had an almost instinctive hatred of. Not that there is anything inherently wrong with it. The "coming of age" narrative speaks to a course that most people follow in their journey to adulthood and one that, consequently, most can relate to. It has power precisely for that reason. Perhaps I dislike the genre so passionately because I know I've been kept from that path; for men like me, that journey was over before it began. Perhaps I hate it because it reminds me that the rites of passage that are essential to the process of becoming human are ones that I'll never have. Most people recall those moments with nostalgia; for a tiny number of men, those experiences will never be anything more than fantasy.
All having been said, I hope you keep writing. You clearly have talent for it. However, I suppose I would urge you to write of the things you know, even if those things are painful. There is something to be said for truth being beautiful, even if that truth is devastating.
