Here's the deal: In another one of my "maybe today will be different" episodes, I asked a grill out. Surprisingly she said yes, and we went to see the preview of a historical play that I was really interested in. However, instead of everything going great, she was 30+ minutes late. She apologized and looked clearly embarrased so I thought I'd forgive her. She didn't enjoy the preview too much - she seemed to think it was a bit boring (surprise surprise). We got coffee afterwards and talked and walked around for a bit before we took the train and parted with a hug. Was it a date at all robots? Did I make it? Or were we supposed to kiss or something? It was a pity hug wasn't it? She probably think i'm an idiot and boring for taking her to a nerdy historical play. I want to contact her again but maybe I should keep my dignity and not do it. Like, I should be angry that she got there that late right? I'm so confused. Insult me or provide advice - i'm sure you guys will have something useful to say to me eventually.
ITT: we share and discuss autistic first "dates" we're not sure were dates.
>>29014622
It's possible she's interested, when it comes to dating it's not as if you're going to fuck after the first date (especially if it's a daytime thing, which it sounds like it was), but then again she may not be.
Suggest another date and make it something that she might be interested in this time. Not saying that you have to sacrifice all your hobbies to get a girl, but for first and second dates you should generally try to impress her with your suggestions instead of going for things you really want to do yourself.
Hope it goes well for you.
>>29014622
A little overexcited are we, bud?
Jesus. I can literally smell the hamster wheel burning.
Try to ask a single question next time instead of this bullshit, maybe then I'll share some insight with you.
TL:DR: yore a faggote.
>>29014622
>I asked a grill out. Surprisingly she said yes
OUT!
>>29014670
What is a good suggestion though? I was thinking going to the movies but maybe that's too overdone. Would go-karting or something be better? I really don't know how dates work.
>>29014722
Alright. TL;DR: asked grill out to history play, not sure if she liked it, ended it with a hug, was it a date?
>>29014622
1. Stop caring so much it makes things harder.
2. Jokingly point out that she was late and shit like that (tastefully tho) she will feel like she needs to compensate for it. Probably.
>>29014777
going to the movies is a horryble idea. You are not talking douring the movie so it can get real awkward. Also her mood will depend entirely on how she likes the movie.
>>29014622
she's just using you to get free stuff m8
What she thinks doesn't matter.
You did exactly what you are supposed to do. You took a girl on a date. Yes, it was a date.
She's likely not interested. But women are weird and confusing, so you shouldn't write it off either. The correct thing to do is just not care at all. If you like her, ask her out again, when you feel like it. If she says no, then forget she ever existed.
Her judgments mean nothing. Even if she made fun of you in the cruelest possible way, who fucking cares. People are rarely compatible and women are generally hoping to be "wowed." This rarely happens, and it's almost never a case of a man being objectively "wow"-worthy. It's almost always a case of women bizarrely finding something about you charming that you don't even realize, probably due to their weird fucking hormone fluctuations. There are women who will find your autism charming even if you're a bit if a dork (yes, seriously).
Next time, be slightly more consultative on the date idea, or try something a little more flexible. I tried to take girls to exciting venues many times, and it almost never worked.. and then I started doing coffee & walking dates (literally just walking around a trendy area or university campus) because I'm a lazy cheap fuck, and they generally work for me. You gotta find what works for you. Just don't think in terms of DATE = MOVIE AND DINNER or anything.
There are improvements you can make but they're mostly holistic things you just have to feel out for yourself by going on twenty more shitty dates. Gradually you'll learn the weird tension between relaxing and being in control at the same time, between being yourself and (slightly exaggeratedly) showing off your coolest traits. It all just comes with experience.
The #1 thing is to look at dating like a process. You're gonna have to put like 200 quarters in the machine before you win a vagina. Just look at that as a statistical thing. Don't agonise over every fucking quarter.
>>29014777
>Alright. TL;DR: asked grill out to history play, not sure if she liked it, ended it with a hug, was it a date?
Yes. It was a date.
Hugs are pretty much standard. It's the kissing and the sex that will detemine if she's into you.
>>29014854
Based anon is based. Thanks mang. That's excellent and very thorough advice.
>>29014777
Movies can work, but they can flop too. Movies are best for young lovers because they just want to make out the entire time, if you're not likely to start making out in the movie theatre then it'll just be a shitty awkward date.
Meals out in the evening are a decent idea, since they allow you to talk a lot, although you have to choose the place carefully obviously.
Best idea is to find out her interests and pick something you know she'll be into and something you like too, but not in such a way that you're just doing whatever she wants; find something you both enjoy and go do it. The best dates I've ever been on have been to shit like art galleries and concerts, niche interests where you'll get the chance to talk about the stuff and lead onto deeper conversations.
It's hard to write out literally everything that makes a date good (especially since i'm not an expert myself) but if you have any more questions I'll try and answer them man
>>29014854
This is some very rare good advice.
>You did exactly what you are supposed to do.
>Her judgments mean nothing.
Key points.
It doesn't matter if a girl likes you or not. You should always assume that every girl likes you, and proceed accordingly. If it later turns out they don't want to spend time with you, who cares? She can fuck off.
OP, be yourself, believe in yourself, and go hard.
>>29014622
Sorry buddy, but good effort.
Heres my rules
>She was late
If theyre late that means they weren't that keen on it and probably chickened out then worked up the courage to go. Not always the case but ive found it to be that way.
>She didnt txt you afterwards
BIG TICKET ITEM^^^^^^^^^^^. All girls who were interested in me txted me back saying it was great fun and that they wanted to see me again.
>Hug not a kiss
Kissing on first date isnt a guarantee, even if shes interested, dont sweat it
Go easy on yourself brother, this is all a learning experience. Every bloke has had a few shit dates, it happens.
My advice for first dates is keep it simple. It doesnt even have to be a planned out date it can be just a quick drink. That way the other party doesnt feel that pressured about it. If it goes shit she'll leave and you lose nothing, if shes interested shell hang around and you go from there.
Coffee was a good choice. I like to take them to sushi or yum cha. Then to a nice bar/restaurant.
Movies and plays are not good first date ideas because you can't talk lol.
>>29015184
Thats easier said than done. The truth is that it crushes your ego and confidence when you get rejected and recovering from that is not easy
>>29014622
if she tapped your back a couple times or tried to pull away quickly then it was a pity hug and you're never going to see her again
>>29015303
On a further note think of a first date like an interview. You have almost unlimited amounts of questions and topics to discuss
>What do you do for work, uni?
>where are you from
>mother, father, bro, sis?
>Do you like your job
And have random topics from recent events to discuss aslong as they arent too political sensitive. Talk about movies and TV shows.
The key is to get the girl talking, once shes rolling she wont shutup and you just have to sit there, pretend to be really interested and reel her in.
>>29015330
Not if you've had success in the past, which you will have, if you do it enough and actually strive to be an interesting and charismatic person.
>>29015303
I should have been clearer. She was late because she got lost. But yeah, no text after the date. She's very quiet and somewhat reserved though so maybe that played into it? I' should stop looking too much into it.
Nah man she was probably bored by you as well.
>>29015483
>Lost
Yeah maybe. But yeah bro I personally think you're looking into it a bit much. If she hasnt txted you back to say she had alot of fun then I wouldn't bother. I did once and it just made it awkward.
Who knows you might bump into her and she might be interested in going out again.
