Haven't had one in a while, so here's a particularly naughty tale of mine
>on daily bus drive to school
>decide to sit next to this cute girl
>i've seen her a little around school, seems very lonely and keeps to herself
>she's reading, but seems somewhat happy that someone is siting next to her
>"What are you reading?"
>She looks up from her book, grateful that someone is interacting with her
>"Oh, it's just a post-apocalyptic novel about-"
>"Eh. Sounds stupid"
>Pull out cigarette, I stare at her expectedly
>"Well? You got a light?"
>"N-no..."
>"Great. Of course you don't."
>Put cigarette back into pocket
>Pull out a ziploc bag of cheerios, start eating them
>"You want some?"
>"Thanks anon!"
>She goes to grab some
>I violently pull the bag away from her
>"I asked if you WANTED some, not that you COULD have some"
>"S-sorry..."
>"You better be sorry" I say, to the deafening crunch of cheerios
>"...Why are you being so... mean to me...?"
>"Mean!? Like what, like how your daddy is to your mommy?!"
>She looks shocked
>"Oh yes, I know all about their little arguments at home"
>She becomes visibly upset
>"I know they're going through their divorce, the whole school knows. God you really are clueless. Look at you, sitting there, with your book. Probably think you're introspective or something."
>I can hear the cracks in her voice
>"No...I-...I just like these books..."
>"The best part is you probably think this is your fault. They're having troubles with their marriage because you weren't the sweet little girl they thought you'd be."
>"...Please...stop..."
>"What was it dear? The way they never talk to you when you get home?"
>"...stop..."
>"Or was it the constant fights they would get in late at night while you tried to sleep?"
>"...stop...!"
>"I know, it's all the times at dinner when y-"
>"STOP!"
>Whole bus is silent
>Tears are flowing down her eyes
>Realize what I've done
>"...I-...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be rude. I don't know what came over me."
>We stare into each-others eyes for a moment
>The way she looked at me is what really killed me.
>She looked so sympathetic, that after all this, she was ready to forgive me
>I pull out a napkin and wipe away her tears
>She nods thankfully, we share no words for a few moments
>Eventually hand here some cheerios
>"Here. Take some."
>She smiles and goes to take some
>"Psych!" I close my fist and break the cheerios into a fine dust, rubbing the grains in her face
>Her tears run down my hands as I cover her face with the dust
>"Pathetic."
>She spends the rest of the drive staring out the window with cheerio dust on her face, as I happily eat the rest of the bag
>We arrive at school
>I get up and throw the empty ziploc bag at her face
>"Adios, bitch"
>>29013587
>>29013603
I know this isn't real, but god fucking damn. I feel like you just completely destroyed my psyche imaging myself as the girl
You certainly paint a vivid picture, i'll give you that.
>>29013603
this isn't /devilish/, you just sound like an asshole chad
could have had nice gf. could have BANGED
>>29013603
This is painfully fake
0/10 not funny or interesting
>>29013587
This makes me wanna cry
>>29013603
>"Heh, nothin personnel...chick......"
>*continues fantasizing about bullying Stacy while eating autism sandwich alone at lunch*
>>29013603
That's fucking terrible. Why would you ever do something like that?
When i was.little, i would steal all my friends sisters underwear. And a girl i knew from school. And my older cousin. Stuffed them under my bed. I would rub my penis on them until i got off.
My grandmother found them and i blamed it on my brother pulling a prank on me. Everyone believed me.
Couple years later i learned I'm a tranny.
>>29013587
>>29013603
File under things that never happen
Reminds me of the fat girl who we called "Jenny Craig" on the bus when I was in high school.I dated her for 4 years, lost my virginity to her and haven't had a gf in the 7 years since.
>>29013587
Haha devilish
I do devilish things too
this was stupid.
Any girl would have instantly scowled at you for disturbing her and ignored you.
But yeah keep on living that fantasy about how you're so cold and edgy to women
>>29013587
I COULDN'T READ THE SECOND PART
>>29013603
Laughed at the cheerio dust part
>>29013587
> normalfag points out a crumb I have on my lip
> tries to wipe it off
> don't let her
haha wow roastie btfo good one OP.
>>29013587
>>29013603
liek dis if u cri evrytiem.
>make a sandwich
>throw it away
Fuck you Africa
>Order a pizza
>Make a really complicated order
>It arrives
>Call up the shop and claim they made a mistake
>They apologise and make up a new pizza and ship it out
>They let me keep the old pizza because there is nothing they can do with it
>Not even that hungry
