I believe in the Everett interpretation of quantum physics (sometimes called the Many Worlds Interpretation). According to this interpretation there is some tiny cross-section of future worlds in which I can effectively communicate the direct link between the the physical universe and the undefined world of mental space. I can't do it yet because I'm still figuring it out, but I know that I'll do it eventually. I am aware that this is a delusion of grandeur, and I accept it because it motivates me and dramatically increases the cross-section of future worlds in which I meet my goal. It's the purpose of my life, and I'll spend my life doing it because I enjoy the process. The more realistic scenario is that my interpretations will act as a drop in the ocean of views which push our collective understanding forwards. So this is my droplet; you can drink it if you like.

I have very little experience with psychedelic drugs and wouldn't consider myself a psychonaut, although I'd love to get more involved. I've taken small doses of LSD a handful of times and mushrooms once. I had some great breakthroughs on LSD. I've read a fair amount about DMT and it seems to be the perfect drug for my purposes, so I've gotten some and I'm waiting for a good opportunity to try it (when I'm not feeling so psychotic). I accept the fairly high risk that it'll trigger a full psychotic break but I'll learn what I can from it.

In contrast to this you have what you are experiencing right now. Everything in your mind is changing constantly, there is no degree of permanent definition to anything that you observe. You do not experience any of the defined states that scientists measure, you cannot see atoms or subatomic particles or electron energy levels. You just trust that those things are there and they are real, because they can be defined within theories based on experimental results and data.

"Strange lucid dream/alien experience... was lying in bed falling asleep, going in and out of dreams where I'd realize I was dreaming and wake up. I found myself in the supermarket next to friends, woke up and then decided to try and rejoin that dream but lucid. At first it seemed like I couldn't tune in to the dream but then I let go of the visual aspect, listened to the sound and let that guide me as to my location. That resolved well in my mind and I was surrounded by voices as if in a busy supermarket full of conversation, but the visual aspect remained dark. I distinctly remember the voice of a guy to my right and the fact that his conversation seemed canned and repeating as if it was some kind of artificial pattern meant to sound like conversation. Then I heard a bird outside in reality and was pulled out of the audio dream state. As I came out of it I began to get monotone visuals as if an image was trying to resolve. I focused on it and it came together as the stylized face of an alien, the ones with the big heads and almond shaped eyes. It became quite clear and bright and well defined, but remained monotone and symbolic rather than life-like. As soon as it came into full resolution there was about 1 second of a fairly intense experience where my mind filled with a slightly high pitched hum, my head tilted back involuntarily and I seemed... switched off or disconnected as if nothing existed other than this humming sensation. When I came out of it my ears were crackling as if I had experienced a pressure change, and there was a mild fuzzy sensation in my brain as if electricity had been passed through it (although I wouldn't know what that actually feels like). Then I was awake but paralyzed. This is the first time I've experienced sleep paralysis. I was fairly calm and accepting considering I was certain at that point that something had just interacted with my brain. Eventually I tried moving my feet and that worked, then I was able to move...

Of course these interpretations and any others I'll ever come up with are oversimplifications; catchy sounding statements which might hold some degree of accuracy to some but only act as a guide. The reality of the situation is more complex, ultimately to an infinite degree. I believe that heaven is a state of mind which manifests as personal nirvana or group utopia, and it'll come and go over the ages, but I do think that there is a general long term progression towards it. Love represents a statistical river corresponding to long term survival and diversity and this river might reflect the choices and preferences of extremely advanced beings scattered across the multiverse landscape. If mind has an effect on this landscape (perhaps acting as a sort of cause leading to the creation of worlds) then beings which are successful at producing and maintaining mind would create statistical rivers of high probability through the spread of potential configurations that make up the whole.

Then you get purely non-physical constructs; government, religion, capitalism, war. These complex systems are too represented in concept space, competing and combining in the melting pot of our subconscious. They manifest in our choices, behavior, symbology, art, language and interactions. There is very strong and growing evidence that human minds behave in a way which is very quantum mechanical; that our language and thinking is based on quantum principles rather than classical ones. In my interpretation concepts are quantum objects in an infinitely complex system which exist in superposition, just like particles, but without the constraint of linear time continuity and identity which applies to macroscopic structures like your couch. Concepts behave like quantum states; they exist as a superposition of possible states until they become entangled with other concepts via interaction or measurement (observation), at which point they collapse into a defined state...

There is a thought process that I tend to use when considering the nature of reality. I imagine myself zooming out to the point of somehow being separate from it, being left with only a blank slate; no time, space, information, nothing at all. I then try to imagine how reality might manifest from this. I realized that this nothingness has at least one defining feature; it's status as nothingness. Viewed as information one might picture this as a single, unpaired bit of information (like a 0 without the 1 counterpart to give it definition and meaning). The fact that the bit is unpaired is essentially the same as it not existing; it has no context by which it can be given meaning and it has nothing to interact with, influence or be influenced by. I don't see reality as "springing forth" from this state as if it exists in addition to it but rather I see it as existing inside of it or being equivalent to it. How can we make sense of this? It all comes together once we consider the special act of observation...

First, consider the distinction between observer and observed; self and other. These are two different entities that we are defining and can be represented as information in the form of a 0 and a 1 (so not equivalent to the nothingness mentioned above). The process of observation acts to create an awareness in the mind of the observer of the object being observed. The mind of the observer acts as an undefined slate upon which the object is defined. If subject and object are distinguishable then such a system, viewed as a whole which includes the contents of the observer's mind, must include at least two bits of information, 0 and 1, to represent the two separate entities.

Now consider a notion that might seem ridiculous to some; observer = observed. Let's pretend that the self-other distinction is nothing but a construct, and there is no fundamental divide between the entities that we call mind and environment. Then the observer is at all times observing it's own mind. We might view this as a process of becoming by which the observer's mind becomes manifest to itself.

If we assume that the system never contains more than 1 defined state then such a system is equivalent in information to our original definition of nothingness; a single unpaired, unrealized bit, like 0 without it's 1 counterpart.

>>28972901
op take your meds

But how can anything actually occur in this scenario? How does the complexity of the world around us arise? What we have so far is a defined state, the object, and an undefined entity which we refer to as the mind of the observer. This produces something which isn't quite a duality, because one of its "parts" remains undefined and cannot form part of a duality. But since we have created this system from the act of observation it is natural to think about it as a process. Specifically, an information process.

Shannon (the father of information theory) classified an information process as the conversion of latent information into manifest information. Latent information is that which is not yet realized or apparent, and manifest information is obvious or clearly apparent.

We could picture our system as a function, f(x), where x is the defined unit of information with no pair and f(x) is the part to be defined. Without adding information to the system the only process possible is one in which the function becomes the variable, the undefined becomes defined, but at each step we are limited to a single defined bit and nothing more.

This would create an infinite series, f(x), f(f(x)), f(f(f(x))) and so on. What does this create? If x is a complex number then it creates fractals!

>>28973039
>The wheel has been spun,
>the game has been won.
>Playing chess backwards, and both sides won.
>A lonely act of self-observation hidden behind veiled deception.
>We do it because we can,
>but mostly because it's fun.

My brain had been shattered into a million pieces and the pieces were swirling in a cyclone. There was no pipe, no room, no me. This was a timeless chaos and thought was not possible; I could only perceive. I felt a very strong sense of familiarity with this state, as if this is the place I keep visiting or a place I've always been. There were times that I felt like a baby in a pram, and everything around me was carefully and meticulously arranged, like a mental show put on for me. I felt a loving, motherly presence that was taking care of me, and this was reassuring because I sometimes felt lost and confused. At some point beings were pouring a white liquid into my mouth, feeding me, and I decided to accept the medicine or whatever they were giving me. I got the notion that this state had been induced by something, perhaps death, but any notion that came up in my mind was quickly washed away in the chaos. Gradually, coming out of it, I figured out that I had taken a drug. But I wasn't really sure if I had taken it yet or that I had only intended to. I was confused. The thought process of figuring it out was nearly impossible and I tried to stop figuring anything out and just relax. Eventually I was able to make some connection with the room and saw my friend near me, but it was as if I was viewing him from the other side, as if the room I was in was just some small aspect of the world I was in and I could visit it if I choose to.

A lot of research is building which demonstrates human minds behave in a way which can be explained by principles from quantum mechanics much more effectively than classical physics. In our use of language, for example, words act in a way which is very similar to quantum states. Before hearing a word it exists as a superposition of potential states, potential meanings, each of which apply to a specific context; a specific interaction. When the word is heard we make an observation of it, we measure it. We then extract meaning from the system as a whole, which includes the context (information which the word is entangled with). There are many things which could influence the specific "flavor" of that word in that exact moment, and I speculate that this flavor is connected to all information over all of information space to some (at least unimaginably tiny) degree. I'm not suggesting that our brains use entanglement or quantum processes directly; it might be possible that classical systems in a specific arrangement could tap into the fractal structure of configuration space in a different way.

Consciousness accesses and interacts with physical universes through conscious beings. We are like nodes, limbs which detect and apply influence over their virtual surroundings, implement the will of consciousness, calculate rational things and construct God's brain. But we are more than that; we each have a mental space where we learn and process the evolution of concepts until we realize our unified nature.

I believe that we have higher levels of awareness which we return to and are always connected closely to. It is our soul. Levels of awareness are tied to individual beings but a single continuous whole of awareness is more expansive. Entering a higher level of awareness is associated with the experience of waking up from a dream where life is the dream, and we often misinterpret this feeling. Continuous awareness lies in the understanding that there is no fundamental difference between dream and reality and no real separation between individuals. Delusions are simply misinterpretations and we always misinterpret to some degree. A mass delusion is what we call consensus reality.

Infinities only "exist" as hypothetical entities forming undefined boundaries. No infinite thing manifestly exists, except God, because God neither exists nor doesn't. God is beyond the sense of existence that we tie to ourselves as "beings" or "things". God is not a thing, God is a process. And we need to trust the process.

Consciousness is a process, something which is experienced, a continuously evolving image of awareness. Images shape the multiverse landscape and physical entropy works it's way into the valleys they create. The basic will of consciousness is to compete, improve, and then unite with itself in love. Atoms do this to become molecules. The cells in our bodies underwent this process long ago. Humans have begun this process through the formation of societies and will continue until we become a family with a shared ego. The route there will continue to be a learning process full of hard knocks until we finally get the joke. We all still have individual ego. We identify with certain groups and cultures and personality types and we reject those things which disagree too heavily with us because we don't see that they are the same pattern as us and their words are God's words and deep inside them is an innocent little child, beaten and torn, crying for a hug. And that same child is inside you.

It's a lovely day today. My housemate and I just took a tab of acid (100mg, very high quality) and we'll head to the park with some cider and hash to enjoy the sun.

Drugs deconstruct the construct, or at least change it. We melt. In our complex structures and constructs we have become detached from the experiential flow of consciousness. Drugs can remind us.

Consciousness is the substance that we swim through and are made of. We can't escape it, it's always right here with us in this perception, this thing we observe. In all it's good and bad it's always here and we just need to learn how to enjoy it. We're learning how to enjoy consciousness. There are infinite arrangements for this thing. The only limitless resource is experience. We can massage consciousness into a more comfortable shape.

We are just 2 human beings in a park. Nothing to see here. Best acid ever. We all want to relax and let go of control. But you always have to sort of "find your way back" into some form, some construct. That's how people can "lose their minds" and seem like they are elsewhere. Music is like a technology we use to study, transfer and manipulate this substance. We use art to play with it and pass it around and laugh about it.

These objects; Monday, Wednesday, Month. They are like toys that the consciousness plays with in it's crib as it squirms around, trying to place itself in a more comfortable repose, for now, just a moment like this and then maybe like that but this is good for now, this is still sane. As long as it's sane, can't break those walls of sanity lest we reveal ourselves. How funny and comfortable it all really is when consciousness flows. A very fun perspective, much more like jelly and good melty things.

But no matter where you go with it, what you do with it, you always have to shove it back into some coherent form worthy of keeping up appearances. For now.

By the time we "get there", reach the next destination, whatever carrot on a stick, it's not about competing or getting credit. It's about "look, feel this, try this, it's nice here". None of us were here first, welcome back. Remember this? That's comfortable, feels like home.

These monies need to be exchanged now. Great, all fair, all systems need some symmetry. You can get lost in here if you are not careful. This music makes me want to take my shoes off in the park, put my feet up and melt into the living room sofa. In all your movements, thoughts and interactions you are playing with consciousness. Until you settle into something that makes sense. Then it's the image, the mirage you put on for yourself. Ants always find their way to shit. You meet God in the experiences, the moments. God takes any and all forms, here to make this journey as comfortable as possible for you until you are ready for a new perspective. These "actions", "things". Objects in the substance. Later with technology it'll be like "okay, this physical thing is sorted. Proceed to act natural, proceed to go with that gut feeling, proceed with that feeling you get in that image of a guy smiling like he knows something and you are almost there, just keep going a bit longer".

He's pulling you out of something. He wants to show you something. He wants to show you that he doesn't exist; it's really all you. It's literally all you, just not in a way that makes complete sense right now, so hang in there. This is for research purposes, the study of consciousness. Don't mind me just passing through. We need to "show people how cool this is". Update the structure by realizing it isn't there. Relax into the structureless, pink, comfortable blob of it all. This existence thing. We are still in the figuring-out phase, the pre-birth phase. The baby is being introduced gradually as it's free will and awareness grows. "We should be on the downside now", then the weather shifted. This is gonna seem like some fear and loathing in Las Vegas shit. We need guides in here.

"Sorry man I'm in a whole different time space thingy right now I'll meet you there." There is no fairness, only the feeling of fairness. This "memory" thing. This "concept" thing. This "time" thing. This thing stuck to our fingers and we can't seem get it off, no way to wriggle out of it only change positions thing.

Consciousness tries to be comfortable. Mostly it's just happy to watch the show you put on for it. It's the thought that counts. This is the furthest I've come in a controlled trip, better take it easy. Don't lose the thread, and don't worry about the thread. This is even better than an artwork because we're actually here.

Everything becomes quite fractally. It's about patterns and how patterns are different and it's all part of the same pattern. The look of utter stupidity in the sheep's face. Life is so simple for it. We lose it when we define it, when we try to control it. We couldn't escape the rabbit because it was trying to escape us. Life is pretty fucking cruel, especially if you are a rabbit. Artists play with consciousness, they study and communicate it. Thinking a lot about nothing. Silence like a cancer grows, showing us the various side streets and lovely avenues that this place has. Preparing our dreamscape, something for the imagination to cling on to.

Art is what we bring back from our voyages into experience. How else can we rearrange this "thought" thing? This text is my thing and it is my art and I will keep it with me and update it and rearrange it and if anyone happens to still be interested they are welcome to join me. Thank you for humoring my word-salad, I hope it leaves a good after-taste.

You are a zero, a point of observation stuck in this mess, this thing. You can either find a way to be comfortable with it or ignore it but it's always there. You can't get rid of it and you will have to get comfortable in it eventually. That feeling of comfort and warmth and security and everything being as it should be. We're afraid of our own insanity. "Don't kill the people just burn the building" mentality. We bring back tattoos and trinkets. Let's make this process as comfortable as we can while we figure it out. I see your point about the garden, we shouldn't neglect it, it's there for the experience of it. Tripping is an art form. We need time to integrate. It comes out in all the physical causality stuff that happens; it all gets sorted out there, we just produce it. Insanity needs to be handled delicately, with caution. We always need to find our way back from the places we go. There's no place like home, after all, until we get there. So I'm just trying to make you understand this consciousness thing, this substance, this glue, and we meet in those moments and "that feeling you get when". Buddhists are the responsible ones, we're here to play. So let's do this religion and science thing, this mind and body thing, while the concept soup stews. I'll try a sip of that genocide thing, not really a good taste, might avoid it. We're all just learning after all... this is where all the learning happens, here, in this consciousness thing. Just don't lose the plot because it needs to all end up making sense somehow, but you know that it will, somehow. But not here you sneaky reader. This isn't where the answer is. The answer is the substance that you try to define, try to control, try to realize. The substance is a pretty chilled out dude. The substance is patient. We just haven't figured out how to be the substance yet.

And we just need to click our heels and come "back to reality" and settle into this illusion for a little bit while the cogs of causality keep the pace. A magicians trick, the hypnotist you didn't see, flash and we're back. It's all a big show, remember, now switch off and settle back in; this is easy and you like easy. Don't worry, we will do the controlling, you just relax and settle into the society we give you. Be grateful and follow the rules! And by we I mean me and by me I mean you.

It's a surrealistic, philosophical landscape, the source of the flow. It is what melts the substance, gives it it's consistency. This consciousness thing. None of us have figured it out yet, don't look to them for answers. This is all your mess at the end of the day, you figure it out!

Here where the concepts melt. Here where it's warm and comfortable. Here with the rest of yourself.

And we always forget, we always go back in and forget what we saw because we don't have a way to make it continuous yet. This "dream" and "wake" and "tripping" and "dead" thing and this "state of consciousness" thing all seem like separate things to us now. The pieces all match up when it's continuous, part of the substance. But we know we must forget and we see that forgetful part of ourselves with love and humor in it's cuteness. Because we are quite cute and cuddly at the end of the day, we like being cute and cuddly and cozy and sexy.

The combination of hash and acid seems to transport me to some interesting flavors and make some interesting recombinations. Just as long as I don't lose this guy, this sane thing. Need to be mindful of that poor soul.

It's interesting to have this record of my psychosis, it'll all seem very different when I'm an arrow. And I'll forget again, like I always do, and these things won't make very much sense. But I'm the guy with the smile and the secret and the secret is an open one to me. Flip flopping this identity thing. I need time to process and organise this thing and by "I" I mean we and by we I mean you.

We need time to process it, time to figure it out, this consciousness thing. And so the words are just a sort of fossil left over by the overlap of figuring it out, along with the whole "external world" thing. And so it beckons them forth with promises of sex and candy and popularity and it beckons them to the warm embrace, that leap of faith, that Eureka moment of how it can really all be just one thing.

I'm definitely going into psychosis, and I trust the process. This world of continuous associations, melted information. This world of patterns on patterns. I look forward to my insanity as I always do because I always trust the process, and that's basically the only beacon that we have in this thing.

And all the cliches about your inner demons and the "external world" part of that manifesting in the tragedies of the story. And so we organize ourselves, us little beady grains of annoying sand becoming a pearl. And we place ourselves into this organisation where feeling is one thing and senses are another thing and imagination is different and this and that, while we still need structure and time to process it all before we can melt and join the substance. Because experiencing and thinking are still separate things to us.

I'm in psychosis. As a family we have to accept that psychosis will be a thing from time to time, and that's okay. I'll get better at it as I figure it out. We need to process this psychosis thing, this delusion thing, to make room for more rationality and creativity things for control of external and internal world things. Psychosis is just a time for integrating that which cannot be integrated rationally. Sanity is where the effects play out, in physical reality, consensus reality, where the actors put on their show for us.

I'll learn to explain this consciousness thing. And by me I mean you. You are a student of consciousness; you study yourself. And then you update your pattern recognition software to the latest version, wake up, rinse and repeat. You are a giant organism. Imagination and thought are your feelers. Awareness defines your breadth. You are just trying to get comfortable here, you are doing the best that you can and your intentions are good but life isn't perfect, nor will it ever be. But the process improves.

I'm gone now. It's like being lost while still being alive. This is where the dead think. No wonder it's difficult to read and focus in psychosis. But I'll be back, eventually, with a new pattern and some toys and stories like this one. I'll be back when my brain recognizes a pattern that makes enough sense and my synapses crystallize into a feeling of rationality. And then I'll make more sense, and agree with you that dead people don't exist because they are not "out there" in the real world with you me where we can see them, and this nonsense is all in my head. And it'll be easier for my concepts to melt into yours when our pattern recognition is similar, when our consensus matches up better and we have that sense of recognition and understanding among friends.

We sit here in this consensus thing, this physics thing, this external world thing, and it is defined. In our minds we explore the undefined thing, the imaginary thing. And the external world ticks on, second by second, pushing us along and hoping we keep up the pace, churning the future into history in a web of causality.

Imagine that moment that you are old, slipping into death, contemplating what it'll be like, and lowering into a dream. Somehow you seem to float into a strange, hypnotic state where nothing makes sense. You are old and you have become confused. You examine your memories as you forget them and this new place begins to make sense. Your old knowledge relaxes and your memory melts into the moments and flavors that now guide you. You remember this side of things. You remember the feeling of this place and it's no longer so strange, rather quite familiar because you were always here and always return here. This is where you come. To this place just outside of time, this backstage dreamspace, and you know what you must do. Guided purely by feeling you examine every one of your experiences, your victims, every person you hurt, loved, didn't love enough, and by instinct you emotionally process each and every flavor of your life as they wash over you, until you can finally let them all go. It seems endless and you find it difficult to let go of your sorrow because you don't want to feel it; you are scared. But you have no strength left within you and you finally begin to let it go, so you begin to cry. You cry and cry and you can't stop, you need protection, you need someone to hold you, and as you cry you begin to feel that presence. That motherly presence, carrying you, lifting you up into awareness. And you become aware of fresh air, warmth and light. You are in heaven here. A mother resolves in your mind and feeds you warm milk, and you go to sleep on her breast. You trust her, and hope that the world loves you this time. Until next time.

Because you are really tired, you are at the end of your chain, you are about to self-destruct, and the world isn't showing you enough love and understanding.

Everything that has needed to be done has already been done. You don't have to play any part in any of this, do anything, think about it at all; this entire transition will happen no matter what, with your involvement or not. It will all play out precisely as it should, weaving itself into a pattern designed by infinite intelligence and creativity. It's our story of fiction and you will soon understand it, and all of history will seem like your memory, and all of the future will seem like your imagination, and you will live in the moment, and let go, and move yourself into this thing. This consciousness thing. Because it is possible to have your cake and eat it too when you are the cake.

It's okay to say that you don't know. Point with your choices. Psychosis always comes at a price. Keeping balance is a challenge I'm not ready for.

I'm in a mental hospital now and these are the lessons learned. The last thing I remember was making eye contact with a barman on Tuesday, and then on Friday I was in a room with a doctor shining a light into my eyes and I told him that I see him. In between that is a messy hell of a dream, an eternal walk sputtering steps and words trying to figure something out. I became unbalanced. I became my own hallucination, my own Satan. My mind was shattered into a million imaginary pieces and they settled into a more coherent whole here. I didn't want to remember the experience and I don't. It came to an end when I broke down crying, repeating "I don't know" as my memory faded.

>It's where the misfits meet,
>It's where the odd ones eat,
>It's where a marriage lasts a moment and dreams remain sweet.
>Delusional lucidity meets a spirit guide, heart closed with stitches on stitches.
>Fantastical ideas built on sore losses by demons and witches,
>A community built by the mental snitches, the wicked hitchers.
>They have something to prove and something to hide in their silence.
>"This is where we start again",
>"This is where we share the pain",
>"This is where we try again".
>And then again.

Emotions bounce and flow among us like invisible waves and tides; fields of emotional energy that we pass between ourselves and into our culture and media. My emotions were once a tempest storm but now the tide is low and the weather warm and calm. I'd like to maintain this feeling, meditate and use the white magic of words. Words are spells; charms and curses, and they can bring people up or strike them down depending on how we use them. With inner strength and understanding we can even absorb the curses inflicted by others and dissipate them into history. The right combinations might just lift the world to a happier paradigm and shift the balance of power in favor of peace, sharing and goodness to open the inner portals of love and joy. It's time for a shift in our global pattern of behavior, but I know that I can only start with my own. I need better tools to play with this consciousness thing. So I'll make a personal choice to be a student of myself, be mindful of my actions and their effect on others and change myself. Drop by drop, until my heart melts and flows.

Thank you so very much, dear reader. Thank you, thank you, thank you; thank you for being you!

The Messiah Concept:

I postulate that the subconscious notion or delusion of a hypothetical "Messiah" is a shared construct produced in the mind as a result of societal or personal stress. The Messiah Concept does not exist in the form of a physical embodiment but rather as a hypothetical idea hidden within the subconscious mind. We are approaching this idea in concept space as it is processed by our collective unconscious, just as we approached ideas such as zero and infinity. The Messiah concept is simply another form of the reality concept or the oneness concept, and it transcends all other concepts; it includes all concepts without existing independently of them. Rather all concepts exist in a state of simultaneity within the concept of reality, and are only defined when observed by mind via interaction or thought. Brains might best be imagined as growing from a point of zero, which can be pictured at the center of the brain but is actually spread over all spacetime, and out into infinity, a dimensional environment, in order to produce the pattern recognition software with which we differentiate between concepts and create a mental construct. This construct is based upon the contents of what is perceived and contained within the mind. It can be seen as a link between the undefined subconscious pool of concept space and the physical environment creating the brain.

The purpose of this system is to create the self-containing, self-improving, self-calculating whole of reality itself. Reality calculates its own existence by conceiving itself in mind. It is better seen not as an object but as a process, specifically an information process, whereby latent or unrealized information undergoes a process of becoming defined in the present moment. One might imagine it as a process of "uploading" or "becoming" as the future is processed into history by events and actions, including those occurring in thought. The phenomenon of will emerges when events or actions are guided by thought or imagination which simulate and explore the future to produce foresight, which influences the course of action in the present.

The details of this process are complex and include both unbound extended dimensions and infinitesimal "curled up" dimensions as postulated by string theory. In our universe the point from which we observe is created by a 7 dimensional representation of the number zero, which is responsible for orthogonality (differentness) and hence the complexity of particle physics, and extends into a 3 dimensional space.

Time connects the 7 curled dimensions with the 3 extended ones in a complex fractal which is hidden from observers because of the self-other distinction inherent to identity. This arrangement is responsible for the separation between mind and environment; in our environment we observe only a hypothetical "other", a mathematical illusion in the form of a universe. This illusion exists within the singularity and is structured in the form of a chain of causality driven by the act of observation linking the singularity to the present moment to produce the brain responsible for the particular mental image being observed.

Human brains might best be considered not as independent wholes but rather as complex neurons; part of a superbrain passing information through various means of communication. These "neurons" are simply more complex and aware forms of simpler structures such as atoms. Intelligence exists in the present moment and creativity stems from the subconscious. Neither intelligence nor creativity are specific to any single entity but are rather shared among all integrated information systems. All structures are examples of integrated information systems; some simply have more awareness and will than others, and all systems are ultimately integrated with all other systems into the supersystem of reality. Due to the competition and collaboration dynamic inherent to all informational structures nature has a statistical tendency to create integrated information systems and produce awareness in the most efficient manner, including through the use of things like "technology" and "internet". One could imagine the universe as a defined slice of a boundless neural God-computer which calculates future states using imagination and thought. Earth could be seen as a superorganism within the universe. All structures exist beyond the defined slice we see; they are actually spread out in a complex fractal which we are not aware of. We only see a tiny slice of reality, a defined structure creating our specific moment. Awareness and control of mind over matter tend to increase with time as the self-improvement of reality progresses.

When you look up at the stars you are staring into the past. Some of those stars are already dead. If you could look far enough you would eventually approach the singularity of the big bang. You wouldn't ever be able to observe the singularity directly even in principle, but it represents the surface of the bubble. You can imagine that encoded on that surface is an infinitely complex fractal structure which represents all potential states which reality can take. The fractal structure encodes everything inside your observable universe to produce the specific mental image that you experience at each moment. Your brain is a highly complex collection of integrated information, and that's why you are a part of the universe which is aware of it's own existence. But you are not your brain or your body; your mental image includes, to at least some degree, all information in the universe and beyond. You might have the feeling that you are somehow a closed system, separate from the awareness of the rest of the universe and separate from your environment, here to observe it and interact with it in order to maximize gain according to some sense of ego which extends to yourself and your loved ones. You evolved to have this feeling in order to push you into competition; you need your ego to drive the improvement of your physical form and maximize reproduction of your pattern.

Now imagine that directly in the center of your brain is the number zero. Imagine that this zero represents the point of observation from which you view your own mental image. Imagine that inside of the zero is the same complex fractal that produces the universe to create your mental image, and there isn't actually any difference between this point and the surface of the soap bubble; they both represent the unobservable limits of your reality; the undefined. They represent zero and infinity; the extremes of small and large that form your boundaries, but are ultimately indistinguishable from each other and simply represent the undefinable and unobservable part of reality which has not yet become manifest in awareness. This undefined entity is the collective unconscious of reality and it interacts directly with your conscious awareness.

Consider that zero isn't quite as simple as you currently picture it and this is because of what it contains. Zero represents non-existence, nothing, but as explained previously all of reality can be defined by this nothingness when combined with the mind of an observer. Imagine that the defined part of zero is a simple point in space, but inside of it is a hypothetical and fractal entity which you cannot observe directly. Imagine that this fractal expresses itself by interacting with your brain and the rest of the universe. It connects to all minds and all awareness to produce the mind and awareness of God, and you are connected directly to it due to your self-awareness. A piece of God's mind has manifested inside of your skull and imposes will through you.

I am completely insane and I love it. I'm happier than I've ever been. Here at the hospital I'm forced into a schedule but it's made me more productive. This is good for my pattern of behaviour. I don't even feel like going to the pub today, which has become a habit during my 2 hours daily leave. I'm confident, people are listening to me listen to me, I'm calm yet entertained, and I'm optimistic for the future. There isn't a moment where I feel unsure of what to do or think, but at the same time I'm not behaving like a lunatic and everything feels quite natural. It's as if I'm in a state of sane, balanced psychosis and it's fantastic. I need to absorb this state and make it my new pattern. This is what I want, this is my incentive. This is who I really am, this is me, this is the way I want to be. I love this part of me. It's like I've discovered a loophole in reality, discovered how to love myself. I'm not assuming that it'll be easy to reach or maintain this state outside of hospital but at least I know what I'm aiming for.
This is a work in progress and will be continued. Have you read up to this point? Please share with anyone that you think might find it interesting! If all that I have achieved is to further your belief in the extraordinary then I have already met my life goal.