What's the closest you got to losing your virginity, robots?
>be college junior
>midterms are finally over
>female friend has come over
>she's been dumped by her boyfriend
>she's completely drunk
>take advantage of the situation
>we make out for a while
>she starts taking off her clothes
>suddenly feel the need to take a shit
>haven't had a good shit in a while
>been ordering chinese delivery for days while cramming for midterms
>tell her to stay where she is and I'll be right back
>go to the bathroom
>don't want to go into too much detail, but have horrible, runny, explosive liquid shits
>so painful I start squeezing out some tears as well
>after it's all over and I'm finally cleaned up, come back and find she's gone
>I talked to a girl
That's the closest I've gotten so far.
>>28809817
>I talked to a girl in class
>hugged her before going home from summer break
Everyone had to hug eachother before leaving school that day. That's the most female interaction I've ever had.
I wish I wasn't born.
>Find girl from Tinder
>Nice, hot, tall
>Date for a while
>We go to her appartment
>Both of our voices are sultry and slurring
> Rocking that boner
>She's horny too
>is this real life.png
>Climb on top of her
>Preparing mentally for the first thrust
>Nervousness intensifies
>Humor has always been a coping mechanism for me
>Decide to throw out a witty joke
>"hey I wanna try out this new technique that I perfected on your mom!"
>Get slapped
>She pushes me off
>Tells me I killed the mood by being uncouth
>Tells me to gtfo
>Leave in a panic, drive home in only a shirt, shoes and undies
>Felicity. Sorry I sperged.
>>28810168
>>"hey I wanna try out this new technique that I perfected on your mom!"
>>28810168
fucking lost it
that is the most splendidly autistic thing i've read in weeks.
A few times
>Junior year
>Girl who looks like an oompa loompa but had big titties had a crush on me
>Thought I was cute
>She asked my friend if I was freaky in bed
>Same girl was step sisters with my friend's girlfriend
>Step sisters invite us to sleep over
>Had the chance to fuck
>Didn't go because I didn't want to risk pregnancy and because I was head over heels over a girl at my school that I never got with
>2 years later regret not fucking the shit out of her while sucking on her titties
man
>>28809817
Your butt betrayed yo
>>28809817
>Paint party during 1st year
>V. drunk
>Make out with/feel up equally drunk girl for a couple of hours
>Asks if I want to come back to her dorm
>Still living at home
> Drunk logic decides I don't want to explain to my mum where I've been
>Decline but exchange numbers
>Make out for a bit longer
>She leaves
Never saw her again
>Make
a girl asked me if she could come over and watch a movie at like 3am. I hid in a blanket the whole movie and then she went home after.. I think she wanted the dicc but I gave her the autism instead.
>>28810626
Why did you hide under a blanket?
>>28809817
she was giving me a bj but i noped the fuck out
because i didn't have any rubbers
>>28810626
Maybe she just wanted to cuddle
the girl of my dreams at the time gave me a hug and said i was a nice guy
awkward walking around that party with a boner
i still love you Sofia
yes my brain is shit
>>28810626
>>28810659
Probably a feminist that had a sniper waiting for the perfect shot
