[part one]
>i woke up at 5pm kicking the piss jugs out from under the semen crusted sheets and onto the garbage covered floor
>I put on my undies and Pepe the Frog Motorcycle Helmet I earned with my Good Boy Points
>then I squeezed my pale meaty arms and legs into my custom made tin armor modified from trash cans
>with food supplies drained since my last midnight munch, my guts vibrated and growled from hunger
>i bound up to the front door hyping myself up with resounding "REEE"s
>i give my heaving gyno ridden chest a primal beating before opening the door and charging outside
>after squinting blindly in the bright sun and no threat in sight, I wearily booked it down the sidewalk; sweat already culminating under my metal apparel like a rain forest
>out of nowhere, a normie walking her dog spots me and gasps in surprise
>she then reaches into her purse, grabs ahold of a rotten cabbage, and launches it at my face
>the vegetable hits it's mark and momentarily stuns me, giving the Stacy time to sound the alarm with a megaphone
>"The robot is out of his cave, I repeat, the robot is out of his cave!"
>my heart drops as normies of all shapes and sizes swarm from their clean abodes after me
>like the first Stacy, hundreds of them armed with rotten fruit, veggies and eggs close in on me
>i made a frantic dash for the supermarket that was stocked with my Mt. Dew, Rito's, and tendies
>sadly, my body's mass was too much for me and I collapsed as a hailstorm of expired food rained upon me
>they begin to chant, "NEET! NEET! NEET! NEET! NEET!"
>I lift my head up just as some manlet Chad kicks the official Pepe the Frog Motorcycle Helmet off my skull
>my unprotected head gets quickly pelted with rocks, rancid groceries, spit, and feces which quickly became entangled in my thick pube-like neck beard hair
>with an exhausted moan, I roll on my back defeated, the supermarket door ten feet away. "So close...", whispered I, "... So god damn close."
[end part one]
[part two]
>as i begin to whimper, my thoughts turn against myself with a sudden seething self hatred
>if only I wasn't born hideous, if only I was taller, if only my dick was bigger, if only I wasn't scared of everything, if only I wasn't a KV NEET...
>"It's not my fault I'm ugly...", i gasped as I'm hit by a used Magnum condom, it's fishy smelling latex sticking to my acne covered forehead
>i closed my damp bloodshot eyes, cleared the filth from my face, then began to whine with a nasally voice, "Why me?! All I ever wanted was fresh tendies, my latest season of animu downloaded on my Linux, and a qt 3.14 pure virgin maiden gf! Why can't I ever have anything nice?!"
>strangely enough, the normie's slow their assault, seemingly to try and listen to my cries
>with snot dripping from my nose, I shout autistically like a child, "I-It's not muh-my fault I'm luh-like this! It's society! It's muh-muh genes! It's your fault! I NEVER ASKED TO BE BIRTHED!!"
>the normies go silent and then the smallest of the mob, a five year old Stacy, steps up to me
>"Neigh, dear Anon, thou speaks falsehoods. For Thou must now understand, normies never locked thou away to be mesmerized by flip book picture shows made in Nippon, normies feed thou not the tendies and Dew, normies keep thou not from bathing the man jam off thy skin. It was thou, Anon. Now gaze, Anon, Thou dost appear not unlike ourselves. Gaze closely at mine face..."
>it was then I realized in horror whom the crowd resembled... it was me!
>every face was like an exact replica of my own
>they all had the same eyes, nose, ears, hair color, everything!
>with a choked cry, I sobbed, "No! It cannot be true! It cannot be! It cannot be my all fault!"
>the child brought her hands to my cheeks and held up my head
[end part two]
[part three]
>gazing down at me with starry eyes and a wise smile, she mused,
>"Thou once again believes wrong. For thou must understand, the suffering thou carries is the burden of us all! That is why we treat thou a cretin, to teach the errors of thou ways. We do this so thou may realize his own follies and correct them. Please, come mine brother, we can teach thou how one should live, act, and feel so thou too may find happiness! Leave the shackles of the NEET behind!"
>tears began to well up in my eyes as I sit up so our eyes are level
>I smiled, then bellowed a flem slinging shitpost, "REEEEEE NORMIES GTFO! JUST B URSELF? TOP KEK YOU STUPID NORMIES JUST DONT GET IT I HAVE ANXIETY AND I WAS BORN UGLY AND CURSED! MUH AUTISM! U CAN NEVER KNOW THE TROUBLES IVE SEEN! NOBODY KNOWS MY SORROW REEEEE"
>I flail wildly as the army of normies bearing my own face surrounded me with disappointed and disgusted expressions
>I give out one last high pitched "REEEEEE!"
>and then they were upon me
[fin]
>>28737752
>>28737776
>>28737794
I spent way too much fucking time on a tldr thread. I have no life; please end my existence senpai.
Anyway, here's some more ass.
I read the first 30 or so lines. Please stop, this is beyond horrible. None of it was funny, and I can't believe you spent time on this. Delete this.
>>28737886
I know, I took a bunch of vyvanse and just spaced out for an hour.
Not gonna delete, senpai. This is now a shit stain in the catalog.
