So feeling nostalgic and suicidal I've just been searchan and creepan facebook for people i used to know in highschool.
Almost all of the grils i had crushes on have children or are married or both.
Most of the guys have careers, degrees, wives children or some other life experience to show.
I also found this graduation video where they went around getting farewells from all the different groups of kids...When they got to my group I was standing on the side off camera until they quickly panned to me and I immediately react and turn away and everyone laughs at me, I didn't remember this and am just now coming to terms with that I have always been a robot and there really is no hope for me.
Everyone is out doing things progressing in life and I am still here....lurking 4chan, hiding away from everyone and everything. I graduated in 2009 so it's been nearly 7 years of doing literally nothing. I think I am about done. I want out.
But before that I want to hear some stories of what everyone else has done with their life after high school or some nostalgic stories of being a robot in high school years.
tl;dr robot in denile left behind after HS, How are my fellow robots feeling about their lives after HS?
>>28722852
Graduating in a few weeks. Didn't make any friends at my HS and I'm hoping to make some at university. Did you just sit at home after graduating or what?
>>28723184
I tried lots of various things, could never stick with anything and would always just end up back in the hole again.
I went to uni for a few weeks...before it all became to much and i never went back. From my experience unless you actively try to make friends and go to clubs or walk up to people and try to engage them you wont make any friends in uni either.
>>28723261
Maybe you should try some anti-anxiety drugs to facilitate social connections? Or see a psychiatrist about making friends. You aren't going to get anywhere if you just sit and complain on r9k all day, and you won't have a good quality of life if you don't have any friends. What I'm saying is that I would try again if I were you, don't give up so easily!
I get really anxious and panicky whenever I'm in a group of multiple people that I don't know, I've heard that Xanax helps for that kind of stuff but they are also addictive. Might try and get some for Uni though, if things aren't looking so good in the first couple of weeks.
>>28723402
I dont want to just have to be on pills all the time to be a functioning person.
I tried a course of Fluoxetine which did nothing so i scrapped the medication idea entirely.
I'm 25 in a few months and I've tried time and time again to go out and do things. I dont always fail but i do always end up running away at some point to retreat back in to solitude where I feel comfortable and safe.
I started seeing a psych nearly 2 years ago when things were at an all time low, that doesn't help either. I feel like i can say I've tried pretty hard and should be allowed to quit at this point.
Mine's alright. I tried uni for a while but then when it was time to pay I just left. Went through some really awful jobs, movie theater manager, glass cutter, landscaping, but now I have a great job at an organic grocery and deli shop. I finally moved out of my parents place, so things have been getting better. I still am very lonely, but at least I enjoy my job. I do miss high school though, only had a few friends from band but we had some good times.
>>28723641
>I tried uni for a while but then when it was time to pay I just left.
This doesn't make sense, don't you have to pay before you can actually be enrolled.
Also how do you do those jobs that involve customer service without breaking down? Or are you a normie?
>>28723613
Anti-depressants are different from anti-anxiety- anti-anxiety might remove your urge to run to solidarity. But I'm no doctor, and I understand you don't want to be on pills the whole time.
If it were me I would keep trying until I'm happy with my life - everybody can improve. But I also understand you feeling tired of life. Dont really know what to tell you tbqhfam
By 'quit' do you mean suicide or just spend the rest of your days as a NEET browsing 4chan? Because the latter is pretty pathetic. If you aren't going to kill yourself then you might as well take advantage of your life.
know that feel so well op
I keep getting crippling, sad nostalgia every time I get stoned
You know what to do.
Before that,try travelling across the world or living innawoods. If it doesnt work, hunt the people who hurt you and kill 'em.
>Graduate a complete nobody
>Doubt half the people I had classes with would even remember me
>No job
>No license
>No college
>Supposed to go into the Air Force
>Screw something up
>Have to wait a year being NEET
>Going into the Navy
>Ship off date for basic training is a year from now
>tfw
This wasn't at all how I envisioned my life going. But I don't care no more. I just can't.
>>28723846
>By 'quit' do you mean suicide or just spend the rest of your days as a NEET browsing 4chan?
Torn 50/50 between them, was going to try get on the disabilitybux, play vidya and lurk the chans until i inevitable die young of my diabetes.
Also if the disabilitybux didnt work out was probably just gonna kill myself with an insulin overdose...nice and easy, no pain no fear.
>If you aren't going to kill yourself then you might as well take advantage of your life.
What do you mean by this?
>>28722852
Half or more of these people will end up divorced and probably end up more bitter and unhappy than you are. I wouldn't feel too jealous of them.
>>28723920
I can't do any of this.
I had always dreamed of going full hermit, living off the land, I had planned to take survival classes, save up supplies to begin this trip and head out sometime in my late twenties/early thirties but i got diagnoses with T1 diabetes in 2014 and now i am literally dependent on civilized society to be able to survive.
Also no guns in my country.
>>28722852
Yesterday was my last full day. I have to come back on Monday for a final and Tuesday for the results.
I feel so empty already and can't wait for August even though I'm a little anxious. I can't stop thinking about how much I should've put myself out there more during all those years. I missed out on a lot. I might tell my current crush I like her on Monday and maybe ask her to prom.
Hypothetically, if there were underagefags on here I'd tell them to join a club or something even if it's a "loser" club.
>>28722852
>finish highschool
>go to college (different thing than university over here)
>graduate
>go to university
>graduated last month
>did a lot of extracurricular in the last year for the first time
>finally start involving myself outside vidya
>starting my master's in September
don't get me wrong, i've had to cope with a lot of personal demons and a constant looming depression and social anxiety but life is just as bleak as you make it most of the time.
Also, life in highschool is the shittiest indicator you can base yourself on. By experience, university is a totally different realm, for the best. Personally, it has only been improving since then, even with huge lows here and there, but I did have to convince myself to do shit.
Find purpose in yourself, OP. We're all gonna make it brah
>>28723986
Living innawoods doesnt mean living in a tent. you could buy a comfy farm with internet. But farming takes time to plan. You can also take medications while travelling,no?
Ya don't need guns to kill someone,especially someone you stalk.
>>28723997
Definitely confess to the crush. That's probably one of my biggest regrets. She had even shown interest in my throughout the high school years but i never did anything about it.
Either way you probably aren't going to ever see her again.
>>28724050
Lmao no she'll take him for a creep and block him,which will make him even sadder.
Dude,i was depressed like you and i tried talking to my old best friend from HS.. He almost didnt remember me and his page was full of socializing shit.
If people don't care about you,don't go running after them and carry on. Or hurt them if they hurt you.
>>28722852
i graduated HS in 2003. i was 16.
went to college in the same town i went to HS in and didn't make any friends. horrible depression had me skipping classes, even classes i loved. started going to individual therapy, group therapy, a psychiatrist, other doctors to see what was wrong with me. on lots of meds. i was a train wreck. suicidal. disappointing everyone.
somehow worked up the nerve to study abroad. really it was one thing that i'd always wanted to do, travel, and i thought it i was seriously going to kill myself or fuck up college i might as well do this one thing i thought i maybe could enjoy.
had to take out more loans to do it and had to get special paperwork signed because i'd been seeing my school's psychiatrist and all my records had me labeled as a self-harm risk.
anyway, it gave me a sort of re-do when it came to thinking about who i was and what kind of person i wanted to be. i was in another country and could be a whole new person, or a better version of myself. i had really painfully awkward conversations with people. forced myself to go out with groups instead of staying in my dorm even though i didn't drink...just wanted to see the local culture, see new things and new people. it gave a new energy to that old curiosity i had a kid. i could take risks because worst came to worst...i'd likely never see these people or even this town again.
i met someone while i was abroad, another american from a different state. had fun but didn't make promises to each other. came back to the US and graduated. took a chance and moved to a new state to get back with the person i'd met after graduation.
we're married now.
we moved to SF. we both have good jobs. still don't have lots of friends, but we're just not those kinds of people. stay in and watch weird movies, play video games. go and sit on beach and watch the ocean, just sitting next to each other.
so glad i left my HS people behind and took a chance.
didn't even attend the graduation ceremony.
one less memory to rot the mind, I guess.
>>28724041
>Living innawoods doesnt mean living in a tent. you could buy a comfy farm with internet. But farming takes time to plan. You can also take medications while travelling,no?
A comfy farm would be nice, but i am a poorfag with little to no motivation or skills to do anything to achieve that. Meds only last 28 days out of cold storage.
>Ya don't need guns to kill someone,especially someone you stalk.
I think i am too much of a bitch to kill someone if it wasn't going to be quick.
>graduate hs in 2014
>go to college (uni)
>starting my third year this august
>leave most of my hs friends behind
>burn bridges with most of them
>go on normiebook and see that they're still together
>seemed like they never wanted me there to begin with
>they join college clubs, greek life, think they're hot shit
>constantly paranoid
>become friendly with some people in college
>roommate is nice, religious Christian, only talks about jesus
>join some clubs
>life is ok right now
>people from my hs are doing great in college, get scholarships and join teams
>accept my life now as a lonely robot
>smoke a lot of weed and listen to music as I watch life go by
>constantly fear for the future
>have no idea if i'll be as successful as I want to be by my first hs reunion
>>28722852
I was an outcast, but like the movie kind of outcast in a very shitty ghetto school in asia, while im actually white (poor family).
One day in 7th grade, i met this gorgeous girl who was new in my bus and coincidentally found out we live in the same condo. Anyways, we became friends and like fuckin best friends and shit. One day in 9th grade she came up to me and told me she loved me (i was completely in love with her as well) but i took it as a joke, cuz i was fuckin retard and thought she's too good for me. Then days past and then i met her again and she came in for a kiss, to which i kissed HER fuckin cheek. And after literally 3 weeks she started ignoring me and became emo, while i was fuckin terrified of talking about what happened.
Fast forward to 12th grade, i was in italy studying IB (international bullshit system) and one drunken night i fuckin told her i loved her when she loved me, to which she fuckin shouted at me through the phone and hung up. She literally deleted me from all of her social internet bullshit.
>>28722852
I never went to highschool, only got up to the 8 grade.
>>28724118
You need to lurk more,then.
remember a house outside the city cost less than inside the city.
>>28722852
I hear ya OP. How old are you btw?
I'm 30 now and seeing my old high school peers doing shit like having kids, getting married, travelling around the world is depressing as fuck. I actually got rid of my Facebook account because of it.
My suggestion to you OP would be to go to college and try and make new friends. Get fellow robot friends.
>>28724216
what did you do after 8th grade? what do you do now? Why did you not go past 8th grade?
>>28724050
>>28724095
I guess I can say I was bullied but it was mostly heavy banter that happened to be at my expense. I should have fought back and sometimes I did but they were my friends and "friends". At least they were people who gave the illusion that I wasn't a TOTAL loser.
As for the girl, she has Stacy-ish friends but she herself isn't one. She's cute and excited about everything. I didnt start talking to her until the middle of this school year but as far as I can tell she's fine. And I'm gonna ask her in real life not online or whatever.
>oneitis in HS was a girl two years above me
>she had a Chad bf
>her and her friends would flirt with me just to get frightened reactions out of me because I was beta as fuck and terrified of girls
>Even three years since the last time I saw her in-person, I still have dreams about her (had one last night)
>Went to semi-private all boys high school
>Some people successful working on their parents farms, most are drug addicted bogans.
>Be me 4 years later, failed engineering and have to repeat a semester.
At least I'm not even close to the biggest failure in my graduating year.
>>28724101
That seems like some Disney bullshit. I guess some of us can make it if true. grats to you.
>>28724179
If you are atleast doing something (college) you will seem successful to most i am sure.
>>28724202
I'm sorry anon i dont know how to respond.
>>28724262
I am 24, turning 25 this year. I tried the uni meme, it only made it worse and i dropped out and ran away like i always do which gave me a 10k debt to look forward to if i ever do get my shit together.
>>28724277
After the 8 grade I went to work obviously, farm work then construction work, I'm 37 now and a NEET since I was 21
>>28724357
>I'm 37 now and a NEET since I was 21
How?
Haven't you just wanted to end it all at some point?
Whats your outlook on the future?
>>28724549
>how
get neetbux
>Haven't you just wanted to end it all at some point?
no, I like my NEET life
>Whats your outlook on the future?
NEETing all my life is the plan
>>28724620
Well considering I will be you in 12 years if i dont kill myself. Have you any NEET wisdom to share to an aspiring eternal NEET?
The girl I had a crush on freshman year got married right after graduating college to an engineer from the same high school class. They'd been dating 7+ years. Her dream is to be a stay-at-home mom, which makes me sad to think about.
Best Friend A got a masters in Computer Security and I think is working at a government contractor in DC. Got married sophomore year of uni.
Best Friend B went for a degree in Civil Engineering, not sure if he graduated with that. Last I checked he was balls-deep in MTG and LARP/roleplay bullshit.
"Most Likely To Succeed" kid got a Math degree from a top school but became an app developer. Had a few internships at Amazon and Twitter, worked at Imgur for a year before hopping to Tumblr. I measure my success relative to his own, despite being in different sectors of tech.
I'm probably doing better than many of my classmates, but I still feel unfulfilled and behind-the-curve.
>>28723184
You'd be doing the opposite of what I did, friends in high school but none in college. Godspeed robot, this is no life to live, I'm rooting for you. Just remember that if you have an asocial personality you don't just chance into friends in college, it requires active effort on your part. I hope you have basic knowledge of hygiene / fashion / health&fitness so you're presentable to the normies. If not, you have three months to get caught up.
>>28723794
I had some grant money, but that went away once I started failing all of my classes, so I just quit. As for the jobs I've been seeing a therapist and taking medicine for a while, so I can hold jobs and actually talk to people. But yeah, it was rough at first I broke down a lot and it was fucked.
>>28722852
I did the exact same thing, I took a walk to my local park and laid out my entire life only to discover even as a 4 year old I was always the shy quiet one, recently I looked at my old class mates and someone in particular ended up a supermodel at age 20 while others are getting far in uni and life while I haven't progressed at all, I ain't suicidal but it fills nee with rage. I feel like I should be a lot better than who I am or at how much I have wasted my life, one chance at it and I completely fucked it up.
I was a robot ever since I could remember but I grew up believing that I would be the successful one out of everyone in class, instead here I am crying about my pathetic life on a board centred around societies loosers. If only I could warn myself to just end it sooner.
>remembered as the kid who smoked a lot of weed and ingested copious amounts of drugs
>remembered as the kid who dressed like a Mad Max character
>remembered as the 17 year old kid who dated a 14 year old
>remembered as the psycho who cut up a dead cat and used it as a puppet
>remembered as the kid who was sectioned, handcuff to a stretcher and wheeled around school to an ambulance while shouting obscenities
>remembered as the kid who became a junkie drop out who would drunkenly rap in public
High school was shit, but I got some crazy stories about my stoner shenanigans.
>>28726051
Well at least you were interesting.
Oh shit, turns out my MySpace profile still exists.
Time to commit sudoku, I suppose.
>>28723942
I mean that if you aren't going to end your life, you should live it to the fullest and do whatever makes you happy. Make some friends, find a passion, etc.
No point in living life if you're miserable, so don't live a miserable life. Sounds cheesy as fuck but what I'm trying to say is "Grab life by the balls," lol
>>28725868
Everyone can get better, anon. You haven't missed your chance at life, but you will if you spend your whole life on the internet and video games. You only have one shot at life, don't let it pass you buy
>>28726051
>remembered as the psycho who cut up a dead cat and used it as a puppet
story? really curious how that went down
>>28722852
>mfw almost all of the guys who bullied me in school now have a dirty,shitty job as a factory worker.
>>28726288
That's what teachers said would happen, instead they are all living pretty happy lives starting their own families.
>>28726154
>used to hang out with a group of sociopaths
>one friend who lived right next to school (ill call him G) had parents who didn't give a fuck if we were high, would buy us alcohol, let us smoke inside; were the definition of white trash (the father had a fucking mullet)
>they had old flea infested cat they hated
>parents tell G to kill the cat
>he catches cat in pillow case, went to the woods near school, beat it with a rock and stabbed it in front of three of us
>i used to take a lot of benzos so I had no self control
>took dead cat and cut it open with knife, drapped intestines in tree branches, hollowed the cat out and wore it like a puppet, the decapitated it
>made a weird alter sort of thing with body parts
>many edgy laughs were had
>I guess some kids doing laps for track who knew my friends and I saw us
>one guy pukes, the other girl cries, then they all ran off
>rumors spread around school that we were satanists, that we ate cats, and we had killed children
>we were all interrogated by principal and school cop, but nothing happened because cat body never found
At that point I was already labelled a psycho so I didn't care. I still run into the guy who saw us from time to time and he will never look me in the eye.
The weird thing is even though I was a crusty goth who shot up oxycontin in front of the teacher, I was invited to a lot of parties. I guess my group of friends and I were like a freak show to them.
>>28722852
Meh, my highschool experience was typical,
>Got picked on freshman year, stopped sophomore year
>Introverted kid who was always quiet and was a honor student so people thought I was really smart, got some money from Stacy's and Chad's to do their homework, made like at least a hundred dollars
>Had no social life out of school, would come back, do homework, play halo and jerk off
>Had like 3 friends, alot of aqaintances
>Was close to having a gf two times, both times it was the girl saying they liked me but I sperged out due to low self esteem and I never thought that a girl would ever be attracted to me or find me attractive probably because I had no male role model so I was pretty beta and had no I idea on howat attract of interact with women, I even turned down prom because I was afraid I would spill my spaghetti all over at prom and didnt know how to dance (don't know if its social anxiety) still a KV
>Had some hot teachers, best one was a brunette English teacher in her mid twenties senior year
>When graduation day came I immediately just had a realization that I had no goal/direction in life and I have another 60 years on this planet and suddenly got sad and depressed but happy at the same during the ceremony it was a mixed feel
>After I got my diploma, I came back home and had a depressing existential crisis for the rest of the night playing halo in my simply lighted room
>Fastfoward
>looked up my old classmates up, they all have went to college, military, etc. And here I am a neet, and got very depressed when I also looked into my year book
And here I am
>look up HS girlfriend
>its been 9 years
>shes gotten really fat
>has a kid and married some ugly guy
not sure if i missed out or dodged a bullet she used to always talk about kids names and getting married after school.
>>28727096
>still a KV
You had your chance. How does it feel knowing you missed out on your only chance of prime teen pussy?
Went to college, got useless B.A., worked as a video game tester, quit to start a media company that lasted 18 months, went to Siuth Korea to teach English, came back home to work as an AutoCAD drafter.
That's it.
>>28727280
Idk desu, even if I did attempt to date them they probably would have picked up on how beta and insecure I was at the time and ditch me, I was completely lost when it came to women
>>28727330
It seems your fear of the unknown got the best of you. Maybe they would have dumped you, maybe not, maybe the experience you would have gained could have pushed you to find better test, maybe the decision to listen to your fears in high school made you the pathetic manchild you are today.
Sure does make you think, huh anon.
>>28726608
and thats what actually happened to them.But,i have to say that,stalking their facebook,i discovered that blue collar job apart,they seem pretty happy,with gfs,lots of friends etc.
>>28727429
Sure does baka desu senpai
Unfortunate but meh
>>28727294
what actual certification do you need to teach english in asia
Also do you need to speak the native language
>>28727673
It's OK senpai; just relax, put on the mask, and breath in that sweet helium.
>had a solid core group of friends in high school
>pretty popular
>meet gf in 10th grade and have been with her almost 4 years
>go to college
>make barely any friends first semester
>join fraternity next semester
>have a 3.45 in mechanical engineering
>at home smoking weed and drinking at my lake house with my friends and gf for the rest of the summer
cant complain desu senpai
i never made any friends in highschool
no one offered me their number and when i would ask others they'd just brush it off
i was just an 'acquaintance' of everyone
nothing solidifies this more than the senior trip i took with my class
during the trip there was a group of the most popular, smartest, best looking kids in the class. they somehow tolerated my presence long enough, and for a few hours i got to feel like i real normie, laughing and hanging out with girls and everything. then when i went to the bathroom i lost them, so i went looking around.this is the picture i saw on facebook the last time i ever went on there. it was me, walking away with the back of my head to the camera, while the group of happy, gorgeous, intelligent, well-off people hugged close and smiled for the camera. i could recognize the back of my head and the shirt i was wearing just a few feet behind them, somehow i didn't see them, or somehow it just happened like that.whenever i think of this picture i feel like laughing, because it's almost comical how perfectly this summarizes my experience in school. anyway i'm NEET now, no friends, and just started taking antidepressents. so let's see how this goes.
>dropped out of HS
>dated a few girls, had sex with lot more I didn't date
>lived on my own
>worked many different jobs in many different fields
>failed at community college twice
>joined navy
>lived in four different states
>learned a shitload about medicine, saved a few lives even though I never deployed
>got married
>have a kid
> in university to be a nurse, then a nurse practitioner
30 years old.
- got bullied in HS
- after 2 years fought back and it was totally worth it, even that i got good beating
- shit got better, teachers and students showed more respect to me, but i was still outsider
- got first GF
- finished HS
- finished college and got master degree
- had around 20 gf so far
- starting to work in Monday as a prospect
Went from total outsider to a guy on right track. i just got smarter, more disciplined and determinated to succeed. Mine goal is to get as high as possible on social ladder and not depend on everyone. Mine revenge will be getting better then all the others who were better then me in the past. I wanna see them powerless and feel their envy and hate. My motivation comes from this and mine past experiences. I use hate as mine motivation, it makes me so powerful and persistent.
>>28722852
I should have never gone to high school
>>28727704
You just need a college degree, any major is fine. You don't need to speak Korean, but it is useful to learn the basics.
>>28728100
Good shit anon, i believe in you, though I have a word of advice. Most of what makes a true man is his honor and the ability to know when not to take unnecessary advantage of others. Don't let your maliciousness cloud your judgement, lest you become the person you hate.
>>28724179
>smoke a lot of weed and listen to music as I watch life go by
>constantly fear for the future
Graduated in 2013 but this has been me for the past years ever since HS. Never thought it would have ended up this way but i kinda set myself up for it to be like this
only 15% of all the people on my facebook are married. but economy here is worse than the US
pretty shit. but looking back highschool was worse
all the shit i learned in highschool is pointless and all the stress and agony it brought me is pointless, i should have completely skipped highschool and learned something by myself
>>28722852
My highschool years were what ultimately sealed my fate as a loner. I had a couple friends, and I remember partying and getting drunk a few times, but that's it.
I graduated 3 years ago. At the time I was hoping I could finally start again. The hell I could. It caused my depression to break out after years of lingering in the shadow.
It's all coming to an end this Tuesday though.
