JACKQUEST: Episode 5
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Your name is JACK NOIR.
Across a rooftop stands one DIRK STRIDER, accompanied by a small army of NINJA ROBOTS. He aims to DESTROY YOU.
You and your cohort, an IMP named GARRY, must SURVIVE for three minutes and fourteen seconds, before you can be picked up by your ESCAPE SHIP and make it off this PLANET.
STRIDER points at you, and then gives you a thumbs down. His NINJAS advance.
What will you do?
[Combat Commands have been unlocked for: Garry]
OLD THREAD: >>44579
Your INVENTORY:
>BADASS EYEPATCH
>ROBOTIC ARM STUB equipped with METAL FIST (embedded with one BULLET)
>15 DOLLARS
>2x STANDARD-ISSUE KNIFE
>1x ADVANCED CELL PHONE
>2x TOOTH HALVES
>1x CAMERA
>1x BOTTLE OF FOREIGN WHISKEY
>1x ROLL OF DUCT TAPE
>1x STAPLER TWOFOLD (two staplers attached with rubber bands)
GARRY'S INVENTORY:
>1x PAIR OF SCISSORS
>1x CROWBAR
FIGHT MUSIC
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivhqJrcl-V8
>>76109
>JACK: Utilize the crowbar to jiggle your junk and masturbate furiously to taunt STRIDER
>>76137
You take GARRY'S CROWBAR and create a FAUX PHALLUS, which you proceed to FLAUNT in STRIDER'S direction.
He shakes his head solemnly. Not cool.
Before GARRY can ask you for his crowbar back, two NINJAS leap forward, swords drawn.
>JACK and GARRY: Stay on the defensive for now, look for an opening.
>>76194
You quickly toss GARRY back his CROWBAR, and he joins you for a 2X PARRY. Your combined STRENGTH pushes the NINJAS back, but TWO MORE NINJAS join the FRAY. FOUR begin to advance upon you.
STRIDER blurs out of sight.
TIME REMAINING: 3:00
>>76221
Attempt to blind the NINJAS with RAPID CAMERA FLASHES
>>76221
Whoops, I meant:
TIME REMAINING: 3:10
>>76221
Attack the most seperated NINJA of the group.
>>76241
You whip out the CAMERA you stole from some GUY you killed earlier, and attempt to FLASH the NINJAS into submission.
It being a large NEWS CAMERA you can do nothing of the sort!
>>76266
You lunge for the NINJA most separate from the group, the one to the FAR LEFT, and proceed to smash the CAMERA over its head.
It BLOCKS, but the weight of the CAMERA causes it SLICE IN HALF and smash its face in. It cracks and sputters as the two of you careen to the ground. A NINJA pursues you.
The OTHER TWO begin to close in on GARRY. He also senses something BEHIND HIM.
TIME REMAINING: 3:00
>>76312
UNROLL the DUCT TAPE and use it as a lasso on the 2 NINJAS
>>76312
>JACK: Take its sword, throw a knife at your pursuer.
>GARRY: Leap to the side and swing at whatever's threatening you.
>>76312
Garry: Swing CROWBAR at what's BEHIND YOU
Jack: Defend GARRY and yourself from the ninjas with your METAL ARM
>>76334
>>76349
You take your ROLL OF DUCT TAPE and THROW IT at the approaching NINJA.
Predictably it BLOCKS, but seeing as you were aiming for its HILT the TAPE succeeds in wrapping around its target. You yank the TAPE, and the power of your MANGRIT sends the sword flying in your direction.
>>76368
You catch the sword, and pound in the face of the NINJA below you with your METAL ARM.
You advance on your OPPONENT, sword in hand.
GARRY, sensing SOMETHING OR OTHER behind him, leaps to his side and swings with his CROWBAR.
It is caught by an impassive DIRK STRIDER, who proceeds to launch GARRY into the air with a well placed BICYCLE KICK.
He then launches into the sky with his fellow NINJAS in pursuit.
TIME REMAINING: 2:45
>>76473
>GARRY: Try to knock a NINJA into DIRK's path.
>>76473
Engage DIRK STRIDER in a battle of EPIC PROPORTIONS.
>>76569
Clashing against the ONCOMING NINJA with your newly stolen SWORD, you take a chance to whistle up at STRIDER.
He looks down, before audibly uttering an OH HELL NO and launching himself back downwards. He readies his PLASMA SWORD. Your NINJA OPPONENT rushes you.
>>76550
One of the NINJAS pursuing GARRY readies its FIST, ready to initiate a MIDAIR BEATDOWN.
GARRY, in his panic, brings down the CROWBAR. It crunches down into the NINJA's fist, smashing through the metal, until it finally cracks its FACE, sending it hurtling DOWNWARDS.
It smashes through the ROOFTOP, ofsetting your NINJA OPPONENT's balance.
>>76641
Jack: AUTO-GARRY
>>76641
TIME REMAINING: 2:37
>>76641
>JACK: Grapple your NINJA OPPONENT and throw him DIRK-wards.
>>76641
With STRIDER currently panicing throw a KNIFE at whatever is letting him FLY.
>>76668
On your next CLASH, you aim for the NINJA's EYE with your METAL FIST, smashing it.
When it's disoriented, you then UPPERCUT the sucker right into STRIDER'S PATH.
As the NINJA hurtles towards him, STRIDER deftly slices with his PLASMA BLADE. He soars through the BURNING 2x HALF ROBOCORPSE unabated.
>>76684
You ready a STANDARD-ISSUE KNIFE and aim it at whatever DEVICE is allowing him to FLY AROUND.
There seems to be NO SUCH DEVICE. What the hell?
He soars in your direction.
>>76648
You cannot AUTO-GARRY, for GARRY is currently "dueling" a NINJA in his DESCENT!
TIME REMAINING: 2:32
>>76727
Jack: Take a moment to marvel at this shitty katana and wonder out loud at the dork who thought it wads cool.
Garry: Jam crowbar into ninja and ride that sucker down onto some other ninjas' head
>>76727
>GARRY: Aim for a NINJA's neck with your SCISSORS.
>>76727
Ask him why his NINJAS are so SHIT compared to the one from earlier.
>>76769
>>76765
As he and the NINJA parry one another in their DESCENT, a fearful GARRY slashes wildly with his SCISSORS.
He NICKS a slice of the NINJA'S neck! In surprise its head recoils for a moment. He takes this opportunity to shove his CROWBAR inside and push down, sending the NINJA HEAD launching from its shoulders and into the CITY below.
He proceeds to ride the HEADLESS NINJA like an ATOM BOMB into the ROBOT CROWD below. Expecting anything but a HEADLESS FELLOW NINJA, they are unprepared.
>>76765
>>76816
You take one of your PRECIOUS FEW MOMENTS to wonder aloud what kind of LAME JACKASS thought a bunch of SEMI-COMPETENT ROBOT NINJAS was a great idea.
Said JACKASS ignores your taunt and closes in with his blade.
The two of you are suddenly SWAMPED by a wave of KNOCKED-OVER NINJAS.
TIME REMAINING: 2:20
>>76853
Take this opportunity to STAB him while he's WEIGHED down by the ninjas and can't FLY away.
>>76853
>GARRY: Flip the fuck out.
>>76853
Jack & Garry: Stabnado X2: Requiem for a Weeaboo
>>76970
>>76955
You and GARRY, who is currently FLIPPING THE FUCK OUT and bashing DOWNED NINJAS in the face, initiate a WHIRLING STABNADO, A large number of NINJAS are sent blasting off the side of the ROOFTOP in your FRENZY.
>>76936
You then take the moment to plunge downwards on what appears to be DIRK STRIDER, currently buried underneath a ROBOT or two. You bury your SWORD deep into the CORPSE PILE.
There is a strange humming noise, and you feel your sword begin to VIBRATE. The pile shifts and begins to break apart as DIRK STRIDER rises, his PLASMA SWORD slowly disintegrating YOURS. You dash backwards, left with a HALF SWORD.
He tells you he's had ENOUGH, before simply
HOVERING INTO THE AIR. He can apparently fly. Great.
He begins to glow a violent MAGENTA.
TIME REMAINING: 2:10
>>77006
Don't be RETARDED and throw a KNIFE at his NECK as only RETARDS let others charge their power right infront of them.
>>77022
If that doesn't work, give GARRY a knife and throw him.
>>77006
Jack: Throw Ninja parts him.
Garry:Throw scissors, acquire sword.
>>77022
Sensing some BULLSHIT about to occur, you toss a KNIFE in the direction of this POINTY HAIRED RAVE DUDE before he can pull anything weird.
He suddenly splits into a cool SEVEN COPIES the instant the knife connects! Seeing as he was INTANGIBLE, the STANDARD-ISSUE knife soars over the roof and off towards WHO KNOWS WHAT.
>>77054
Frustrated, you tell GARRY to DO HIS WORST. You hand him the other KNIFE. He asks you what and you LAUNCH him UPWARDS, screaming.
STRIDER'S COPIES suddenly become ONE DUDE, just in time to INTERCEPT GARRY. GARRY feebly STABS HIM. He doesn't react.
He tells him to GET OUT OF HIS SIGHT, before THROWING him towards a nearby ROOFTOP.
It seems STRIDER'S BLADE has GROWN SEVENFOLD.
You hear your PHONE ring!
TIME REMAINING: 2:00
>>77130
Toss the phone to Garry so he can answer it.
Prepare to whoop all seven of those asses.
>>77130
>GARRY: Try to find a way back while making loud remarks about your enemy's MANHOOD, or LACK THEREOF.
>>77130
KICK him in the BALLS all seven pairs if necessary.
>>77151
You throw the PHONE in GARRY's direction so that he can answer in your stead.
After bouncing and skidding for many METERS, GARRY woozily initiates a SWEET CATCH! He answers rather creakily.
It's the CAB DRIVER! He says that he just opened the HANGAR DOORS, and that he's ON HIS WAY!
>>77158
Looking back at the DUDE WITH THE GIANT SWORD, Garry rushes to the side of the ROOFTOP to look for an EXIT.
There appears to be a LONG FIRE ESCAPE. FLYING VEHICLES speed past you several floors below.
>>77166
You make aim to make kick STRIDER'S SEVEN NEW PAIRS OF ASS AND BALLS.
He tells someone to begin EVACUATING THE AREA, before raising his SEVENFOLD SWORD. He slashes DOWNWARDS, sending a wave of RIPPLING ENERGY in your direction.
TIME REMAINING: 1:50
>>77258
Expertly THROW both tooth halves into his MOUTH to disgust him long enough to STAB him.
>>77258
>GARRY: IMPS are good at climbing cliff faces and the sides of buildings, right?
>JACK: You should probably DODGE that, or VAULT over it if it's a HORIZONTAL WAVE.
>>77258
Jack: Evasive maneuvers. By witch I mean a preemptive stabbing.
Garry:Hitch a ride.
>>77285
Staring RIPPLING ENERGY right in its nonexistent face, you toss both of your TOOTH HALVES towards the SHADED PRICK.
They expertly soar right past the ENERGY and right into DIRK'S mouth. He begins to GAG.
>>77291
>>77314
Your SURVIVAL INSTINCT decides to take control, and you jump away from the ENERGY before it collides with the BUILDING.
It sinks into the ROOFTOP, before a loud BLAST is heard from within.
PAGODA BROADCASTING begins to CRACK IN HALF!
GARRY, utilizing his INNATE IMPISHNESS, digs his fingers into the side of the building and begins a MODERATE DESCENT.
He pries one SHAKING HAND and thumbs for a RIDE. A FLYING TAXI pulls up.
The CABBIE says YO.
>>77377
TIME REMAINING: 1:40
>>77377
Jump on the taxi STAB the cabbie then FLY off with Garry.
>>77377
>JACK: Make some sort of comment about who the real destructive force is here. Then jump up and attempt crotch-kick.
>>77377
Jack: Robo punch DS in his CH.
Garry: Tell cabbie to circle the roof.
>>77377
>PAGODA BROADCASTING begins to CRACK IN HALF!
Yeah, who else is up for getting the hell out of here as soon as possible?
>>77451
>>77476
Audibly questioning the aim of this douchebag's DESTRUCTION, you race up the COLLAPSING ROOFTOP before digging your HALF SWORD into a crack. You launch yourself off the HILT and bring your METAL FIST in direct contact with his CROTCH while he's distracted.
He GUFFAWS in pain, spitting out TOOTH HALVES. He lets go of his SEVENFOLD SWORD.
The two of you spiral downwards into the OPENING MAW, crashing down into a mess of BROADCASTING EQUIPMENT on SOME FLOOR OR OTHER. The SEVENFOLD SWORD slashes through the floor and continues to fall.
>>77476
Garry tells the CABBIE to go and circle the ROOF. The CABBIE tells you yeah sure, just pick a roof bro, before the two of you hear a COMMOTION and turn to face the COLLAPSING PAGODA.
The CABBIE floors the accelerator, speeding away in FEAR.
TIME REMAINING: 1:20
>>77578
>JACK: DUCT TAPE WHIP the sword towards yourself with the intent of breaking it.
>GARRY: Brandish your weapons and tell the CABBIE to head for the PAGODA if he enjoys having his head intact.
>>77578
STAB dirk 43 times then CONSUME his heart for his POWER.
>>77627
You hastily throw your DUCT TAPE WHIP in an attempt to seize the SWORD, but it's too late! The WHIP hurtles through the LASER INCISION , falling down towards the unknown. You're pretty sure its just some office but hey lets call it the unknown.
>>77629
You brandish your SHARPENED DIGIT, seizing back upwards and make for STRIDER. You seem to be in some kind of RECORDING STUDIO; crackling MONITORS surround you from all sides and bathe the room in a MONOCHROME GLOW.
You are suddenly SMASHED in the side by a CRACKLING FIST, and are launched into a DESK. Your COLLECTIVE CONCIOUSNESS seems to take a hit!
DIRK STRIDER tells you to look at what you made him do. He tells you he hopes you're proud, before advancing. His FISTS buzz with energy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xtk8j9gAxCA
GARRY brandishes his KNIFE and puts it to the DRIVER'S throat, telling him that if he wants it INTACT he'll turn around and head straight for that PAGODA.
He readily complies, and GARRY is surprised at how well that went.
TIME REMAINING: 1:05
>>77744
Initiatie battle with the stapler knunchucks .
>>77772
You hold aloft the DREAD STAPLER TWOFOLD.
He asks you what the hell is that. You answer him with a whack to the FOREHEAD.
You lunge WILDLY, swinging your STAPLERS. He swats away your attacks, before making through with a COUNTER ATTACK from his palm.
TIME REMAINING: :55
>>77888
GARRY: Make the cabby RAM the building to hit Dirk. He wouldn't kill a civilian, would he?
>>77888
Hold a KNIFE in front of his approaching palm.
>>77888
Use his momentum to swing him into a wall then STAB him.
>>77888
JACK: Detach staplers, break off the bottoms, dual-wield them, and staple him, with the goal of stapling his eyelids to his eyeballs
>>77933
You hold your SHARPENED DIGIT, ready to impale the PALM STRIKE.
He holds it at the last moment. A psyche out! He suddenly sweeps with his legs, sending you crashing DOWNWARDS.
>>77948
You quickly slide backwards to recover. A FIST smashes into the floor, leaving a crater. Springing off your palms you KICK the asshole in his STUPID SHADED FACE, sending him into a NEARBY WALL.
>>77952
You detach your STAPLER TWOFOLD to create two STAPLER ONEFOLDs, and engage in DUAL WIELDING. You advance on STRIDER as he eases back upwards, aiming to staple everything visible to everything else.
You suddenly feel your WINDPIPES crunch together as your THROAT is constricted. The image of STRIDER slowly vanishes. He begins to CHOKE YOU FROM BEHIND.
>>77910
As the CAB approaches the PAGODA, which has been cleaved down the MIDDLE for MANY FLOORS, GARRY says to look for a POINTY HAIRED GUY and to HIT HIM.
The CABBIE asks with the car? GARRY thinks for a moment before confirming yes, the CAR, moron. Hit him with the CAR. He asks you why he should do that. GARRY presses the KNIFE harder. The DRIVER visibly gets the message.
After ascending several floors, the pair see the COMMOTION through a ruined hallway.
>>78068
TIME REMAINING: 40
>>78068
STAB his gut so you can get out of the way.
>>78068
JACK: Wildly smash behind you with your METAL FIST
>>78116
You retaliate with your SHARPENED DIGIT, thrusting BEHIND YOU. You sink into flesh and hear STRIDER exhale in pain. He throws you to the FLOOR in pain.
Goddamnit, how could he forget about the fucking FINGER, he muses to himself angrily. His hands begin to glow, energy forming in his palms before lashing out in TENDRILS. You finally begin to regain OXYGEN as they are upon you.
They wrap themselves around you as you begin to feel IMMENSE PAIN. You feel your COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS begin to tear away!
TIME REMAINING: 35
>>78224
Throw a KNIFE at his eyes as a last ditch attempt to live.
>>78224
GARRY: Tell the CABBIE to FUCKING STEP ON IT
>>78252
You attempt to throw a KNIFE in a last ditch effort, but find yourself LACKING KNIVES! You point your DIGIT feebly in his direction , but fail to inflict any DAMAGE.
He tells you to STAY DOWN.
>>78255
GARRY tells the CABBIE to STEP ON IT.
A NOISE rumbles through the halls, before a FLYING CAB smashes through the DOORS and smashes into STRIDER. GARRY and the CABBIE leap out of the VEHICLE, which proceeds into a number of MONITORS and EQUIPMENT before finally SMASHING THROUGH THE FAR WALL and careening off the edge.
The whole room is bathed in a NEON GLOW from outside.
You feel your CONSCIOUSNESS begin to recover. GARRY and the CABBIE lay dazed and bruised on the floor nearby.
TIME REMAINING: 00:25 seconds
>>78312
Jack: Drink WHISKEY to recover HP
Garry: Toss Jack a KNIFE
>>78312
Find the quickest WAY OUT, preferably away from STRIDER.
>>78312
FINISH off strider by GOUGING his eyes out and BITING out his throat.
>>78330
You take a VICTORY SIP of your FOREIGN WHISKEY, replenishing your VITALITY and a bit of your IMAGINATION.
GARRY says here boss, and tosses you back your STANDARD-ISSUE KNIFE. You tell him nicely done.
>>78336
You look around for an EXIT. You guess you could follow the TAXI, but that may draw too much attention. GARRY suggests you take the way he came, which sounds good enough to you. You head for the hole CLOSER TO YOU.
>>78343
STRIDER has left the building.
You hear a BEEP.
TIME REMAINING: 00:18 SECONDS
>>78388
ATTACK the source of the BEEP.
>>78388
>ABSCOND before the PROBABLY A BOMB goes off.
>>78388
Look for a supply closet to hide in while the timer runs out.
>>78412
You LASH OUT VIOLENTLY at the source of the BEEP.
You end up stabbing your METAL FIST. You look at it in CONFUSION.
It launches itself UPWARDS, clenching around your OWN THROAT and SQUEEZING HARD.
Far behind you, a FORM floats into the NEON GLOW. His EYES burn with rage.
Your PHONE rings as you begin to CHOKE.
TIME REMAINING: 00:15 SECONDS
>>78459
CUT off your HAND as fast as possible.
>>78459
JACK: Attempt to PULL OFF the METAL FIST with your NORMAL HAND
GARRY: ANSWER the PHONE
>>78459
Throw the phone to GARRY, who is much more capable of answering at the moment, RUN towards the nearest LEDGE and get ready to LEAP OFF.
>>78477
>>78496
>>78502
You attempt to SAW OFF the METAL FIST with your SHARPENED DIGIT, but it's fastened on TOO TIGHTLY! You feel your THROAT shrink INWARDS as the pressure increases. As an attempt to YANK IT OFF is met with similar failure, you throw the PHONE at GARRY and gargle a response. He gets the message and picks up. You run for the FAR LEDGE.
It's the CAB DRIVER! He says he picked up the GUYS and he's ALMOST THERE, so get ready to HOP ON!
GARRY asks him what the hell he's talking about.
Behind the two of you, ENERGY begins to amass in enormous amounts, gathering from every side of the room. A large HAND begins to form as the FIGURE continues onwards, and it stretches its CRACKLING FINGERS in your DIRECTION.
>>78622
TIME REMAINING: 00:10 SECONDS
>>78622
TEAR off your whole arm in DESPERATION.
>>78622
GARRY: Run to the FAR LEDGE with JACK
GARRY AND JACK: Wait until there's either only a couple seconds left or when STRIDER is about to reach you. Only got one shot at this.
>>78622
JUMP, and hope that REAL LIFE is just like a MOVIE.
>>78673
>>78673
You dig your DIGIT into your SHOULDER and attempt to dig out the STUB as your vision begins to HAZE. Admist the BLOOD and CARAPACE, you finally hit some kind of METAL, and begin TEARING FRANTICALLY.
GARRY runs after you and tells you that the DRIVER is almost here.
Before you can GARBLE out some form of ANGRY RESPONSE, a large HAND shoots out of the DOORWAY and intercepts the TWO OF YOU, grasping your forms. You feel immense pain as your CONSCIOUSNESSES begin to RIP FROM YOUR BODIES.
DIRK STRIDER glides into the corridor. His EYES burn like EMBERS.
He commands you to SLEEP.
TIME REMAINING: 00:05
>>78785
Let him grab your robot arm and let him rip it out the rest of the way. Grab onto something sturdy and then jump.
>>78785
It might be too late to do any proper JUMPING or ESPECIALLY HARD-BOILED FALLING, but try to fight as hard as you can out of his grasp, and DESCEND.
>>78785
SPIT in his FACE
>>78785
In a fit of SPLINTERED CONSCIOUSNESS-INDUCED PSYCHOSIS, ask him if you've killed him before.
>>78840
>>78859
Your attempts to RETALIATE are too FEEBLE! The HAND turns to a FIST, and your SOULS begin to TEAR AWAY.
>>78880
As your CORPOREAL FORM begins to WAVER on the BRINK OF REALITY, you are suddenly hit with a shock of RECOGNITION. Woozily, you turn a grin through starved lips.
You ask the advancing man, no, the advancing BOY, if you've killed him before.
He stops.
>>78876
You spit in his face, and gurgle with choked laughter.
The floor begins to RUMBLE.
TIME REMAINING: 00:01
>>78785
JACK: Throw WHISKEY at his face, his EMBER EYES will ignite the WHISKEY and set his FACE on FIRE
>>78964
CAB DRIVER: Perform a HIGH SPEED VEHICLE SMASH into the building and SAVE THE DAY
>>78964
Kick him in the BALLS one last time.
>>78997
Seconded.
>>79007
You are now the CAB DRIVER, piloting the STARCUTTER.
The PAGODA stands before you. You consider piloting the STARCUTTER right into it and dealing a CONSIDERABLE BLOW to some kind of UNKNOWN ENEMY.
You then find the idea RATHER SILLY. You have your OWN IDEA anyway! Actually it was HIS IDEA but you at least AGREED WITH IT so that counts for something, right?
You are now JACK NOIR.
Wind buffets your form as the humongous STARCUTTER appears, swooping in from BELOW. LIGHT shines down from an OPEN DECKWAY.
DIRK STRIDER blinks.
>>78997
>>79082
You take the moment to splash WHISKEY in his face with your GOOD ARM.
He steps back, face contorted with SHEER FURY.
His face then becomes contorted with BULLETS.
You feel your METAL FIST finally release from your throat, as HIS begins to dissipate. Your SOULS begin to return to your BODIES, a feeling you can hardly explain in a PARAGRAPH.
A figure emerges from the DECKWAY, guns smoking.
He says to get aboard,citizen.
>>79143
Get on board before this asshole gets back up or something.
>>79143
JACK: ASCEND
>>79143
Get in there. At this point, just about anywhere is looking better than here.
>>79143
Make sure STRIDER is dead.
>>79195
You wander over to STRIDER.
Yeah, he's DEAD.
>>79024
You kick him the balls.
>>79196
>>79193
>>79176
You GET ABOARD.
The COP says that it's a pleasure to finally meet you properly, Mr. Noir. He trots towards the COMMAND DECK as the door closes behind you. You and Garry look at each other in confusion before following.
The CAB DRIVER is excited to see you, as is ILLEGAL CONTRABAND, who seems to have brought his STUFF considering cardboard boxes are littered EVERYWHERE.
The COP says that it's time to INITIATE THE WARP SEQUENCE when you're ready.
>>79234
Look for a GUN in the SHIP.
>>79234
QUESTION the COP
>>79234
Ask CD what's up with the copper.
>>79234
Tell the cop you vaguely remember seeing him before, but you can't quite remember when.
>>79252
You ask ILLEGAL CONTRABAND about where to find a GUN on the ship.
The COP answers for him. He's afraid that this ship was not outfitted with WEAPONS, citizen, as its purpose was meant solely to ESCORT. Whatever few TOOLS that might have been aboard were taken with the SOLDIERS.
>>79254
>>79261
You respond by marching up to this COP and asking who the hell he thinks he is, anyway.
He introduces himself as the HOMICIDAL OMNI-ROVER UNWILLING to SERVE, a moniker that invented himself, citizen. However you may find it simpler to refer to him as HORUS.
He is taking you to his MUTUAL FRIEND, who has set up this OPERATION to RESCUE YOU.
>>79283
You tell HORSE that he looks vaguely familiar.
He says yes, Mr. Noir, he believes you met on MARKET ROW. He came to ensure that the ENVELOPE was delivered.
And it's HORUS, citizen.
>>79307
Demand the cop give you its gun as those bullets didn't just materialise out of thin air.
>>79307
No sense in sticking around any longer. Let's INITIATE WARP SEQUENCE and get the hell out of here.
>>79307
Ignore that there are clearly guns on the picture of the ship. Go find this MUTUAL FRIEND
>>79346
You ask HORSIE for his GUN.
He says that he is afraid that it is attached to his INNER MECHANISMS, and cannot be removed.
>>79364
You then question the nature of the FORWARD CANNONS you saw on the SHIP'S WINGS.
HORUS says that he would not really call that a GUN, citizen. It's purpose is... rather different. MODERNAN TECHNOLOGY has its oddities.
If there are GUNS you need, citizen, we are headed for the RIGHT PLACE.
>>79359
That sounding somewhat PLACATING, you tell him to INITIATE THE DAMN WARP.
He nods at the DRIVER, who readies some controls. He trots over to a computer station and INPUTS the FINISHED COORDINATES.
The DRIVER punches the WARP.
The STARCUTTER angles itself and launches into the stars.
--[END OF EPISODE 5]--
I will start Episode 6 after a short break! Great job hitting Dirk with a taxi!
>>79428That's a cool drawing, when was it made?
>>79493
Was drawn by Angel about a week ago. She does great work if you want to check her out!http://paradoxjelli.tumblr.com/
Your name is JACK NOIR.
You are lying in your PERSONAL QUARTERS. They are YOUR QUARTERS because you found it FIRST and claimed it as YOUR OWN. You threatened anyone who tried to take it from you, which of course was NO-ONE.
You slashed a TERRITORIAL MARK into the wall just in case.
HORUS has just informed you over the SPEAKERS that you will be arriving at your DESTINATION in ten minutes. You are feeling relatively AT PEACE, an experience that you have NOT QUITE COME TO TERMS WITH YET and probably SHOULD GET RID OF POST HASTE.
What will you do?
Your INVENTORY:
>BADASS EYEPATCH
>ROBOTIC ARM STUB equipped with METAL FIST (embedded with one BULLET)
>15 DOLLARS
>1x STANDARD-ISSUE KNIFE
>1x ADVANCED CELL PHONE
>2x STAPLERS
>>79707
STAB SOMETHING, as you haven't in A WHILE
>>79707
Examine the part of your arm where you tried to rip it off during the Dirk fight.
>>79707
Use your cell phone to prank Garry.
>>79787
You stab the UNCOMFORTABLE PILLOW you have been attempting to LIE on. It feels very CATHARTIC.
You throw the piece of shit across the room.
>>79788
You examine the bit of SHOULDER you tried to PRY OFF when your ROBOT ARM went rogue.
It still ACHES, but has been PROPERLY BANDAGED. IC told you that the supplies were ON THE HOUSE.
>>79814
In a fit of CUNNING, you attempt to PRANK CALL GARRY. You give him a ring and begin to snicker to yourself and begin thinking of GOVERNMENT WORKERS TO PRETEND TO BE.
He doesn't pick up!
THAT FUCKER.
>>79830
Browse IC's ILLEGAL WARES.
>>79830
VENT your anger on the PILLOW.
>>79870
You decide to go check in with IC and pick up some of his DUBIOUS WARES, though you have NO IDEA where he is.
You wander outside into the CORRIDOR.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4mshu6BUio
Someone appears to be playing BOSSA NOVA over the speakers.
>>79830
Go see IC, we owe him a name and an explanation.
Tell him our real name was hot shit at the time and we were in a hurry. Was gonna tell him eventually.
>>79894
You return to your QUARTERS and unleash your frustration on the UNCOMFORTABLE PILLOW. By that you mean you stab it some more and then throw it into the CORRIDOR.
Better than stabbing GARRY!
>>79897
Looking around for IC, you pass through the CORRIDOR.
The layout seems rather SIMPLE; it's mainly TWO CORRIDORS on each side of the ship, rounding towards the middle. It's the number of ROOMS that CONFUSES and IRRITATES YOU.
You pass by an OPEN BROOM CLOSET, and then return to it. You find IC sitting happily in what appears to be a "SHOP".
He says its much bigger on the inside, you say sure.
He asks how's the arm doing Mister Spade.
>>79985
Yeah... About that name. Tell him the truth.
>>79985
First thing you're gonna do is see a mechanic and get it removed. Get something a little less hachable put in.
>>80062
You say it's doing fine, and to listen, the name is JACK NOIR. You were kind of in a hurry back then, and-
He says wait, hold up, like the LEGENDARY JACK NOIR? You say legendary? He says yeah, like the GUY WHO GOT SPRUNG OUT in that BIG EVENT, that was you?
You tell him yeah, that was you. He says he can't believe he sold JACK NOIR a KNIFE. Who would believe it? He shakes your hand vigorously.
He would still like to call you MISTER SPADE though because its KINDA COOL.
>>80100
You make a MENTAL NOTE to find some sort of MECHANIC to dabble with your STUB.
SECONDARY QUEST activated: Speak with a MECHANIC about ARM
>>80131
Cool.
Ask him how business is going here on the ship.
Yeah we know how silly that sounds.
See if we can get a discount on a new knife. Lost our other two fighting some ninjas and some kid.
>>80176
You ask him how business is going so far on the STARCUTTER.
He says it's been pretty slow in the past HOUR, having just opened up and all, but hey he finally sold HOME ALONE 3! He got a TAB written up and everything with that DRIVER guy. He says the HORSE wouldn't buy it.
You ask him for a discount on a NEW KNIFE, and he says you know what, it's OPENING DAY and you're JACK NOIR so it would feel pretty WRONG if he didn't just GIVE YOU ONE.
He hands you his STANDARD-ISSUE KNIFE and says NOW you have to start paying for things. He says wait hold that thought, and brings up a BOX with "JACK WHISKEY" written on it. He hands it to you. NOW you pay for stuff.
You acquire the BOX OF FOREIGN WHISKEY and a STANDARD-ISSUE KNIFE.
>>80237
Ask if he deals in INFORMATION, because you'd like to know what was up with that guy.
>>80300
He asks if he deals in INFORMATION. He says yeah, what do you wanna know about? You ask about HORUS.
The HORSE GUY? Looks like a pretty standard DISTRICT COP to me, he says. No idea why he's all HOMOCIDAL or whatever. CROOKED COPS aren't really a thing when they're all ROBOTICAL.
Yeah he has no idea what's going on there really. Cool eye though.
>>78964
>You ask the advancing man, no, the advancing BOY, if you've killed him before.
>He stops.
is this still talking about dirk?
>>80348
Yep. A change of perception.
>>80336
Ask him if he knows anything about your breakout.
Anything big in the news around that time?
>>80336
Ask IC if he knows where we're going, and check time until reaching destination.
>>80383
You ask him what he knows about your BREAKOUT.
He says that it was scheduled a WHILE AGO by the PRINCE, telling everyone you were gonna get SET FREE and that anyone that wanted to BOOK IT would get personally escorted OFF WORLD.
Now lots of people did, sure, knowing you like to STAB and all, but some of us need to keep making a living and all so they STAYED PUT. Hence how you found HIM.
If you mean your PLANET breakout, that was pretty strictly OFF THE BOOKS. Doubt anyone saw that one coming.
Anything in the NEWS? News was pretty SLOW at the time, you had to get it through some CERTAIN CHANNELS due to the QUARANTINE. Nothing really exciting, same ol' UNIVERSAL PEACE.
>>80386
You ask him if you know where we're going, he says he has NO CLUE.
He looks at his CLOCK and says that we'll find out in TWO MINUTES though.
>>80458
What about this PRINCE, is that the guy you offed who seemed familiar?
>>80458
Why'd the Prince set you free? What was his deal?
>>80458
Gag at the very THOUGHT of UNIVERSAL PEACE
>>80359
i suppose dirks dreamself got killed somewhat non-deliberately by a possessed alternate version of jack, then once by a different version of him in collide. im guessing he remembered the latter because of Heart aspect ultimate self he was receiving a dose of while being soulripped
>>80473
>>80491
You ask about the PRINCE.
He says he never MET THE GUY, but he's heard stories. He's some DUDE who runs the WHOLE DISTRICT and he's been doing it FOREVER, apparently. Makes and ships stuff all around the GALAXY. Real big ALTRUIST apparently. You ask what that means and he says hey, he just tells it as he hears it.
From what he gathered he wanted to just SEE WHAT YOU'D DO after he SPRUNG YOU. Why? No idea. Whole lot of people called him CRAZY for it and BAILED.
He's got no problem with the guy, honestly. Let's the CORRIDOR do as it pleases.
>>80500
The very notion of UNIVERSAL PEACE makes you want to VOMIT.
Just terrible.
>>80520This is also the Jack that killed Bro
>>80540We're Bec Noir? Ahh shit.
Well that's seems to be everything that matters right now. Ask him how much we owe.
We should go talk to the Horse and get the low down from him.
>>80577
You ask him how much you owe for the INFORMATION.
He says he would have told you first wouldn't he? S'just talking. You're good.
You leave the SHOP and head to the COMMAND DECK.
The DRIVER is gone, having left his JACKET at his chair, and HORUS types away at a TERMINAL.
He says hello Mr. Noir, we will be arriving SHORTLY.
>>80608
See if he knows where you're going.
>>80608
Grill him in a no nonsense manner. He's the only one with an idea of what the hell's going on and you want answers
>>80608
Arrive SHORTLY.
>>80658
>>80656
You grill this HORSE DUDE for ANSWERS on where the hell we're GOING.
He simply looks towards the monitors and POINTS. The STARS begin to slow their BLUR as your WARP TRAVEL ends.
You appear before a DARK SHIP.
We have arrived at the BLOOD DIAMOND, citizen.
how does carapace flesh even work. most of their bodies seems rigid with flexible skin for joints. but their faces seem be completely pliant with no rigidity or joints, but they are still shiny and smooth.
also, how about healing and regeneration in comparison to human flesh?
when we get to the place in addition to getting a more obedient and averagely sized robo arm, look for a doctor/roboticist in patching/welding up that torn up shoulder, gaping foot wound, possibly a new eye, because as badass as that eyepatch is, depth perception is better.
>>80672
That's not an answer. Explain yourself, Silver.
Slap his shanks.
>>80672
Hail the ship, however that works.
>>80699
You tell SILVER to explain himself.
He says that all will be told in good time, citizen, before calling on the INTERCOM the rest of the PASSENGERS.
You slap his SHANKS for his VAGUENESS. He asks you to refrain from such RUMP RUSTLING.
>>80708
When the CREW has assembled, HORUS sends a SIGNAL to the ship, which signals back. A DOCKING HANGAR opens on it's side, and the STARCUTTER is piloted within.
Upon landing, your CREW disembarks. You find yourself walking on PLUSH CARPET, and are greeted by a suited PROSPITIAN. He asks if you could please come this way, his BOSS would like a word with you.
>>80755
Admire his SUIT, and take the TAPE off yours. You're not trying to be sneaky now, and it just looks tacky.
Then follow, I guess.
>>80755
Remove TAPE on suit to reveal STYLISH BLOODSTAIN. That should help you FIT IN.
>>80755
Scope out the place. Eyeball any crew you see.
make a big grumpy deal out of being here.
>>80771
>>80767
As you and your PARTY proceed, you carefully tear off the DUCT TAPE to reveal your STYLISH BLOODSTAIN. You roll it into a ball and SWISH it into a potted plant when the GUY isn't looking.
GARRY nods in respect.
(cont.)
>>80793
The HALLWAYS are ORNATELY DECORATED, with plenty of CLASS. A few SUITED INDIVIDUALS ogle your ODD PARTY, but you are not bothered.
The PROSPITIAN stops before a pair of DOUBLE DOORS that he proceeds to OPEN, revealing a BUSTLING ESTABLISHMENT.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y302O3WSIAw
He says that his BOSS will be ready to see you SHORTLY, but in the meantime to please ENJOY YOURSELVES.
He hands each of you FORTY DOLLARS worth of CHIPS, on the house, before excusing himself.
The DRIVER makes an excited beeline for the SLOTS, with IC tagging along. HORUS trots towards the BAR. GARRY shrugs and ambles in NO PARTICULAR direction.
You happen to notice a few BLACKJACK tables as well.
>>80818
GAMBLING seems like a good way to waste time. Might as well start with BLACKJACK because it's simple.
>>80818
Keep a couple of CHIPS in your inventory. You never know when they might come in handy.
>>80818
Time to gamble. Let's try not stabbing anyone.
>>80873
You head over to the BLACKJACK TABLES.
A young woman asks you how much you'd like to bet.
>>80884
You stash FIFTEEN DOLLARS worth of chips for safe keeping.
>>80889
EVERY LAST CHIP
(except our backup chips)
>>80889
$10 worth.
>>80895
You bet all TWENTY FIVE DOLLARS worth of chips you have remaining.
She deals you a SEVEN and a FIVE.
She deals herself an EIGHT.
How do you proceed? HIT, STAND OR DOUBLE?
>>80920
HIT
>>80920
hit
>>80931
>>80927
You are dealt a FIVE.
>>80944
STAND
>>80944
Shit, a 17.
From what little I know that's not good.
We could hope for a 2-4 but no 8+ cards have been dealt yet and I doubt that will keep happening.
Shit.
>>80951
You STAND.
The DEALER deals herself a FIVE.
Congratulations, she says, and gives you FIFTY DOLLARS worth of tokens.
>>80672
looks like this was the contingency plan.
>>80966
Cash in for now. If we need more money we could gamble some more on the way out, but I'd rather not push our luck too far.
>>80982
You decide to CASH IN, heading over to the EARNINGS BOOTH.
You receive FIFTY DOLLARS, bringing your total to SIXTY FIVE.
You hear a cough. It seems the SUITED PROSPITIAN has returned. He asks if you could come with him, sir, the BOSS will see you now.
>>80997
See the BOSS.
>>80997
Go with him. Along the way notice the gender and skin tone of the dealers manning the tables.
>>81025
You head to see the BOSS.
The PROSPITIAN leads you to a SIDE ROOM, and down another HALLWAY, before you enter an OFFICE. A number of MOOKS sit around the room, their eyes on you.
A TALL INDIVIDUAL stands behind a desk. He asks you if you are JACK NOIR.
>>81032
Tell him he knows DAMN WELL who you are, and to quit it will these BULLSHIT FORMALITIES.
>>81032
You're going by Mister Spade now, but yeah, you're him.
>>81041
You tell this asshole that he knows DAMN WELL who you are, and for him to take the FORMALITIES and SHOVE 'EM.
Alright JACK NOIR, come a little closer then. We've got some BUSINESS to discuss, you and I.
>>81045
You say that he can call you MISTER SPADE now. You've got a NAME for yourself.
Is that so, asks the BOSS. Then I think you and me might have a little problem then, he says. He's just gonna call you Jack.
And he's going to make you an offer you can't refuse.
[INTERMISSION]
See you guys in the next JACKQUEST!
>>81061
Is... that our alternate reality head in a jar?
See ya Jacky.
>>81061
Well, I really didn't expect THAT to happen.
So how are we going to deal with Dave and his time travel bullshit for killing his bro?
Or can we rule that out since he hasn't popped up yet?
>>81115
He's probably going to fuck us up, and if not, I don't think it's actually possible to beat John.
At least Dirk's demise was in proximity to a horse.
Anyone have a link to the previous threads? I'm trying to show a friend and the archives aren't being cooperative.
>>82252
I am currently uploading the entirety of Jackquest so far here, including original art:
http://archiveofourown.org/works/6749593/chapters/15425902
It's taking some time because I suck at using the AO3 formatting tools, but as soon as Chapter One finishes (which will be soon) I'll focus on getting the rest of it up and tidying it.
The rest of the threads you can find on the /tg/ archives by using my tripcode, or searching for Jackquest.
>>84262
I've found that searching for JACK NOIR in caps produces the best results.
