Oh shit nigger, you're the captain of the Moby Dick, a submarine. But in the last episode, you and your crew were captured by a military submarine. Currently you're fighting the captain of the military sub, whom you managed
to burn with a flamethrower. But he's still not dead and kept fighting you. What do you do?
Previous threads:
http://pastebin.com/sR3G3F2A
https://www.mediafire.com/folder/ici3zlnn9ytyy/ADVENTURES
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>338352
Run away while spilling a box of oranges to trip him.
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>338352
Set your armor into overdrive, temporarily becoming the equivalent of a walking exterminatus, but rendering it useless afterwards.
I will avenge that broth
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>338359
Lose the fight in a predetermined manner
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>338363
Punch the captain in the face
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>338363
EXTERMINATUS!
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>338363
Lose the fight as was predetermined
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>338363
Try to smash the visor more with roundhouse kick from our power leg.
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>338363
Blast his ass his with all the power of exterminatus!
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>338380
Now flop on the floor like a fish
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>338380
Suddebly get surrounded by all the military left on the sub
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>338380
Ora Ora Ora ora
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>338380
Now tripand just punch straight through his head.
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>338395
Evolve into gyarados
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>338395
You get captured in a stasis field
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>338395
Flop over onto him and pin him to the ground.
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>338401
The military come and throw the rest of your crew in there too.
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>338401
Its clearly the armor's emergency field, our power supply is running low. We ride ourselves of the armor and disable the field.
>>338409
Rid i mean, also we keep the flamethrower. Think of the culinarian possibilities.
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>338414
Cut to us in the SUPER MAXIMUM DEEPEST SEA ULTIMATE PRISON
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>338414
You are exterminatus, this field will not stop you. Destroy the field and go back to your fight while steve KILLS LITERALLY EVERYBODY again
>>338416
Well fug
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>338424
They disabled your armor while you were mid-exterminatus mode. This means it should still be operable. Its merely a question of getting it back, restarting it and opening a hole through every single wall in this place.
This will require a cunning plan...
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>338424
Just how deep is it? Is it 2deep4u?
>>338429
"Mario lore deep"
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>338433
examine cell interior
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>338433
Where's our COOK I demand to know! He's the heart and soul of this crew!
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>338433
Psst, hey guard, I bet you're a casul
>>338436
"Oh he's dead. Executed. No orcs left alive, ya know. Policies"
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>338442
You're a dick Mark.
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>338442
Quit bullshitting me now where is he
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>338442
You lie!
That's not canon!
>>338445
"Six feet under. In a coffin"
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>338448
wake up
>>338448
Did you bury him in dirt? He was a spore based orc you idiot! Were about to be atacjed by a horde of feral orcs!!
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>338448
You'll never be a protagonist Mark.NEVER
EVER
>>338450
"Good Morning, prisoner. Your orc cook lying inside a coffin was indeed a dream. Orcs dont deserve burials. We burned him and brought the ashes back to his family. And then laughed at them while throwing the ashes into their faces"
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>338459
Nooooooo, wait you did all of that, how long was I out for?
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>338459
Throw our shit at him throw the bars as revenge for our cook
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>338459
Mark's just being a dick.
>>338462
"Enough time for us to kill his family too and burned down the house to get rid of the evidence"
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>338459
How did you know what my dream was?
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>338473
I demand a phone so I can tell the the rest of the world the crimes you've done.
>>338475
"We have also spent that time impersonating you online. You are now known world wide as an insane paranoid pedophile that is not to be trusted. Nobody will believe you"
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>338481
Have steve kill him from behind with a golden spear
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>338481
You'll avenge your chef and your reputation by having steve KILLING LITERALY EVERYBODY. But first you must plan your grand escape.
>>338481
Why the fuck are you using power armor to just lean on a cell door for at least 10 hours?
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>338481
mean while in the vent shaft, the cook who actually escaped death with a orc doll is attempting to free the captain and the crew
>>338485
"We have also melted the golden spear down and made it into a spoon. Then we used it to eat a delicious hotpot. Its broth was far better than anything you could have ever made"
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>338491
For all we know this could just be an empty suit with a microphone in it.Take the helmet.
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>338491
Where the rest of my crew you monster? Or did you go to the next level and rape them to death.
>>338496
"Nah we didn't do that. We dressed up as you THEN raped them to death. So they can die thinking their own captain betrayed them"
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>338500
golden spoon goes through the guard's head.
he wasn't lying about that...
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>338500
Kick down the door
>>338502
At this point you realize your cell door doesn't really have bars. It's actually a glass pane with bars painted on to trick you.
"Oh yeah, we're dicks like that"
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>338500
Pretend to be angered and look through your cell for something that might help you escape.
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>338509
Kick down the door with the fury of an angry ostrich
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>338509
Are we really even in a cell?
This could be a test to trick us.
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>338509
Steve kills him from behind with the golden spoon
>>338511
"Well good luck with your impotent raging, bye"
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>338519
Try to tunnel out your cell using a spoon
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>338519
Get so mad you boil the entire ship
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>338519
GODDAMN IT I CALLED IT!Observe the cell
>>338524
"Why? That movie was pretty shit"
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>338527
Hey look a passcode, reach it with you arm
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>338527
Teh cook in there with you?
>>338529
You can't. The glass barrier blocked you
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>338537
STEVE! I THOUGHT YOU GOT RAPED TO DEATH! IS THE COOK IN THERE?
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>338537
Smash it
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>338537
The cook was in the cell with you the entire time
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>338537
It's a good thing you've got a C4 charge lodged in your ass and the detonator in your hat.
>>338538
"What? He's in the cell right next to mine"
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>338548
Wow Mark's a dick.
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>338548
Time to pull that C4 out of our asses and blast our way out. You guys did follow the ass blaster protocol we set, right?
>>338551
"lol fag" said Mark as he does the Mark dance
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>338557
Mark trips and smashes through the captain's door.
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>338557
Break the wall blocking you from steve out of anger
>>338561
"Ah, so I did. BUT IT WAS MY CAPTAIN'S DOOR THOUGH, LMAO"
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>338567
You've made the captain very angry though Mark. That was his favorite door.
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>338567
The captain violently lectures Mark on breaking his doors
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>338567
You've angered the elderbeast you call a captain by smashing through its door Mark. Your captain's about to literally eat your face.
>>338571
Mark was then brought to military court for treason. Meanwhile you're still in the cell
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>338580
Hide under your bed to trick them you disappeared
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>338580
Did he leave his armor behind? Smash whatever you have to to get his armor, and with that you might be able to get out of the cell.
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>338580
Examine cell for shit that might help you get out of this shit hole
>>338586
No he didn't. He made sure to turn it in to the military police and even stuck a note for you onto your cell's door.
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>338597
Try to remember if we have any superpowers other than regenerating teeth that could help us here.
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>338597
>Smash whatever you have to to get his armor
Doesn't matter whether he left it, get it anyway.
>>338599
Roll 2d100 for a superpower
0-39: a completely useless power in any situation
40-79: a completely useless power in this situation
80-95: helpful power right now but weak otherwise
96-100: superpower
Rolled 96, 54 = 150 (2d100)
>>338607
ELDER GODS AID ME
Rolled 13, 94 = 107 (2d100)
>>338607
RO RO FITE DA POWA
Rolled 55, 83 = 138 (2d100)
>>338607
Rolling for necromancy
Rolled 21, 95 = 116 (2d100)
>>338607
please something related to cooking
>>338608
Oh yeah, you remember now. You can grow a moustache on command.
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>338621
Do it
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>338621
Grow a glorious mustache and attempt to assume an innocent man's identity
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>338621
Grow a Chaplin mustache.
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>338621
grow a mustache made out of industrial grade lasers.
>>338625
A most innocent of mustaches
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>338633
The guards no longer recognize you and realize an innocent man must be locked up
>>338633
Hello? Guards, I believe me and my compatriots were put in here my mistake. I am but a british aristocrat.
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>338633
Assuming an unknown man's identity pretend to bind yourself to the bed and shout for help, insisting that you've been trapped there by an escapee.
>>338644
"We have 24/7 camera surveillance on you, dumbass"
>>338652
Scream about how the motherfucker must hacked the cammera, stole your power armor and went out to make some shitty broth.
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>338652
channel the rage you get from this fucker and smash the door.
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>338652
Cover your eyes. If you can't see them, they can't see you
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>338652
build a exosuit out of regenerating teeth and mustaches without caring about cameras
>>338657
klank
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>338672
Start walking on your hands so that they think you're actually someone with legs for a head
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>338672
mention that there are no cammeras in this room, call him a casual dipshit, and someone trapped you in here raging about how they were going to make broth with the captain's eyeballs
>>338672
Remember you are a Lord of the government this military serves. Forget that in your rebellious teenage years you ran away.
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>338682
Forgot my roll, I meant to say "remember" the running away.
Rolled 3 (1d10)
I though Mark was on fire
>>338675
Roll 2d100 to attempt to craft a suit out of facial hair and teeth
0-19: astronomical failure
20-39: terrible failure
40-59: failure
60-89: success
90-100: great success
>>338687
That was after this in the timeline
Rolled 13, 40 = 53 (2d100)
>>338693
Rolled 61, 28 = 89 (2d100)
>>338693
Rolled 93, 27 = 120 (2d100)
>>338693
last roll for the day
Rolled 41, 84 = 125 (2d100)
>>338693
>>338702
I always knew that organics are shit builder material for anything
Rolled 44, 13 = 57 (2d100)
>>338693
WE NEED THIIS
Rolled 47, 85 = 132 (2d100)
>>338693
here goes
>>338702
YOu have managed to not only fail to make a suit but also make yourself blind in one eye
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>338714
Blind... or enhanced toothvision?
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>338714
Tell Steve to handle this shit while you try to regenerate your fucking eye.
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>338714
And so we've earn our eye patch. Make it from a tatter of your uniform and some shoelace.
>>338718
"Aye, captain. I'll go find the key to your cell"
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>338731
Find an eye patch for me while you're at it lad. Wait how'd you get out?
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>338731
lets control steve then
>>338735
"I hid a tiny bomb inside my hat that they detected and confiscated. Which served as a distraction for the real bomb I hid inside one of my tooth
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>338746
And actually, your tooth in your eye is a tiny bomb too
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>338746
Quick throw some teeth we regenerated at the wall, they might be explosive.
>>338748
"No, it's just a normal tooth."
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>338753
Normal teeth can't regrow though
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>338753
You ask how the fuck your ability to create a mustache out of thin air is helpful in any situation outside of being fucking stuck inside this cell.
>>338756
"Just because you can regrow it fast doesn't mean it can explode. That's a pretty big leap, ya know"
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>338763
I'm master of big leaps... like leaping out of this cell!
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>338763
We'll never know until we try.
>>338768
"Well, anytime you need to disguise yourself while not under surveillance"
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>338777
Quick hide yourself under your cell bed so you're not seen by cameras!
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>338777
Once steve finds the key grow a even more glorious mustache to disguise our identity since we'll be away from cameras.
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>338777
Cut the sass steve. Get the fucking key to this cell, an eye patch and power armors for the crew. We'll tear through this fucking hell hole and sink it.
>>338780
And to do that he must first fight a heavily armored guard.
Which will happen.... in a later update. That's it for today, see ya next time.
Updates n shit:https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>338797
Wow they must really hate their guards to just give him a foam bat.
>>346197
No luck for a 2 day old thread mate
>>346259
Op claimed through twitter that there'd be an update tomorrow, so I'm trying to keep the thread alive
>>346307
He'll make a new thread. This board autosages after 72 hours
>>347014
Oh noes
update soonish
>>347642
Gonna be sex in space on this night
>>338820
"Joke's on you. It's actually a metal baton. Shaped like a foam bat"
>>347651
Steve works his magic to turn into opposite of what this bad guy wants.
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>347651
Punch self in face with metal bat shaped like a foam bat
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>347651
Your a big guy
>>347653
You can't do that, you're still stuck in your cell
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>347659
Punch self in face
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>347659
punch cell in the face
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>347669
Regenerate your eye
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>347669
Keep growing your mustache
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>347676
Rip off your mustache
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>347676
Keep growing your mustache
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>347676
keep growing
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>347676
The cook busts down the door with an unconscious guard being dragged in from behind.
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>347685
By Ukranian magic you are now have some Salo
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>347685
Shave all your hair off
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>347685
Use your mustache to open the cell door
>>347691
plop
Well that didn't work
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>347696
Style your current stache into a toothbrush moustache
>>347698
>By Ukranian magic you are now have some Salo
You are now what?
>>347703
It was so confusing that the image was lost
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>347709
The guard standing around beats the fuck out of you for wasting his time.
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>347703
>>347709
UKRANIAN SAAALO
COSSACKS OF DEEP SEA COMES TO RESCUE
>>347713
What guard
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>347719
The guard in our mind preventing us from accessing the true potential of mustache power.
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>347719
The armoured guard with a foam bat
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>347719
that one which was killed by Steve
>>347723
Oh that guy
Rolled 5 (1d10)
>>347728
Steve breaks you out
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>347728
Take his power armor
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>347728
Steve let's everyone out
>>347731
After letting you out, Steve gives you the Power Armor
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>347736
Grow back your eye and shave all your hair
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>347736
It tickles
Let the rest of the crew out and plan your escape
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>347736
thank Steve
then gather crew
>>347741
The crew's all here.\
Manlet was too short to be in frame
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>347745
OK so we need to escape
Cook you are the lead stratification what's the plan?
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>347745
Come up with a plan to take over this prison.
>>347748
Umm stratagist
Don't know how that happened but it did
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>347745
so, where the fuck are we. On enemy submarine or elsewhere?
>>347748
"well, according to this map, we're in cell block 2. We can take the route through the kitchen and get to the dock and retrieve our submarine"
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>347745
Arrange power armor for the crew
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>347761
And what of our options if we meet extradition?
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>347761
Lets go the the storage instead and loot the shit out of it.
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>347761
Give every member of your crew a piece of power armor to defend themselves
>>347766
I like you
>>347766
Read as: Take pieces of your own power armor and share amongst the crew.
>>347766
And so you divided your power armor amongst your crew
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>347773
Break out other prisoners and enlist their help in take over of the prison.
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>347773
Lets get our vessel, boys!
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>347773
Ask steve for laser eyepatch
>>347777
Aw yeah
>>347774
"Well cap'n, we'll have to get to cell block 1 to do that. But that means passing through the mess hall. Where no doubt guards will be waiting"
>>347779
Ask for laser eyepatch and gang up on passing guards in order to steal more power armor parts for the crew until everyone of you has a complete set.
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>347781
forgot to roll
Rolled 4 (1d10)
>>347779
Let's go to the kitchen and dress up like chefs and cart some food to the other block. They will never know.
>>347784
"Well obviously, laser eyepatches are kept in the storage"
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>347789
Very well, the eyepatch shall wait. We'll assault random guards and gather their power armor for now.
Rolled 9 (1d10)
>>347789
Fuck it. Let's leave, but break anything you guys can along the way
>>347793
are you trying to samefag with your IDs in plain sight?
>>347795
No I just fucked up on my roll
>>347792
[FUCK THE POLICE]
Rolled 6 (1d10)
>>347799
You reach the kitchen
Cornel Sanders is in their with a lead pipe
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>347799
The noise of shit breaking attracts guards you must fight
>>347803
"THe prisoners!"
"Get back to your cell, scum!"
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>347808
Make me fgt
Rolled 2 (1d10)
>>347808
Fight the guards and steal their power amor
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>347808
Go back to your cell.
Rolled 10 (1d10)
>>347808
Fight the guards and take their armor
>>347809
One of the guards knocked you out.
Rolled 1 (1d10)
>>347818
You wake up to see Steve has literally killed everyone... again...
