Gopnik Quest
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You are currently reading a thread in /qst/ - Quests
You are currently reading a thread in /qst/ - Quests
You are a gopnik. A member of Russia's lower class. You are a true slav. You just got finished drinking your one hundredth alcoholic beverage and your one thousandth pickle. What a milestone!
Who will you be?
Name:
Age:
Gender:
Height:
10 Skill points to distribute among the skills.
STRENGTH:
PERCEPTION:
ENDURANCE:
CHARISMA:
INTELLIGENCE:
AGILITY:
LUCK:
>>318188
Name: vladaberr
Age: 12
Gender: female
Height: 5'7
All points into luck
>>318188
Dimitri Ivanov
43
Male
6,3
10 LUCK
>>318188
Name: Ivan
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Height: 175cm
LUCK: 10
>>318222
This.
However
>You just got finished drinking your one hundredth alcoholic beverage.
We are around age 13
I was also going to write 10 luck
>>318188
Joseph Stalin
54
Male
5'4"
Strength 1
Perception 2
Endurance 0
Charisma 5
Intelligence 2
Agility 0
Luck 0
>>318188
Charlie Brownowski
21
M
5'
STRENGTH: 1
PERCEPTION: 0
ENDURANCE: 0
CHARISMA: 2
INTELLIGENCE: 0
AGILITY: 0
LUCK: 7
>>318222
Our name is Dimitri Ivanov.
We wake up in our true slavic home. Outside, we hear cries of "BLYAT! CYKA BLYAT!" and the noise of a train going past. We set up some supplies on the table last night for our journey out into the town. Inspect the image and decide what you would like to do.
>>318323
What a shithole. Get up and walk over to the table.
>>318323
Slavsquat next to the table and eat something.
>>318323
Jerk off to Putin and curse the name of America.
>>318338
You get up from your extremely comfortable bed and walk to the table, examining it.
The table has:
Vodka(2)
1,000 RU ($15.675)
Loaf of bread
>>318386
Eat money, drink bread, spend vodka on more vodka.
Squat on the fridge, drink vodka then go upstairs.
>>318386
Douse the bread in vodka and pocket the money. Eat the bread and go upstairs
>>318409
You grab a bottle of vodka and completely drown the bread in it. You eat it. You are a true slav.
You go upstairs.
Inventory: 1000 RU, Vodka (1)
>>318459
See what's in the fridge
>>318466
You open the fridge. Inside is some trash but...
Oh my...It's the...
SOUL VODKA!
The soul vodka is the vodka that you've taken care of for 3 very long years. It is perfect. (By gopnik standards)
>>318479
Wow. Take it but keep it in your track suit and go outside
>>318479
Lock fridge. We must keep it safe till we need it.
>>318487
You take the soul vodka.
Inventory: 1,000 RU, Vodka (1), Soul Vodka
>>318503
Before we leave we should get our mix tape.
>>318510
Oh right. Check the house for any mixtapes
>>318503
You jump out of the window, landing on the ground.
There's a man over there, slav squatting. He's got some vodka and some bread.
You want that vodka....
Inventory: 1,000 RU, Vodka (1), Soul Vodka
>>318533
Challenge him to a game of russian roulette.
>>318533
Games of chance. May as well use that luck stat to the fullest.
>>318533
Russian roulette with tap water. First one that dies, loses.
>>318579
Vodka drinking contest. Winner gets the vodka.
>>318579
Grab a rock and draw numbers on it. We can play a dice game.
>>318591
This, we play with shot glasses one has the water.
>>318599
>>318592
You challenge him to a game of chance. The one that dies from the tap water loses, and the one that survives gets the vodka and bread. He says he will play this game with you.
Roll 1d20
10 Luck adds +2 to your roll.[blue
>>318646
Color codes messed up a bit there.
>>318646
Fuck, and my name went weird.
Rolled 9 + 2 (1d10 + 2)
>>318646
...
Rolled 15 (1d20)
>>318646
>>318655
Seems like you win.
The man collapses on the ground after a few seconds of twitching after drinking his shot. You on the other hand, got some pretty good vodka.
You got: Vodka, Bread, 2,000 RU ($31.351)
Inventory: 3,000 RU ($47.026), Vodka (2), Bread, Soul Vodka
+1 ENDURANCE
>>318693
Lets go to the downtown
>>318693
Let's look for more vodka
>>318711
i second this
>>318693
Dip bread in vodka and let the bread soak in all the vodka like sponge
>>318759
You find your favorite bar.
They always have a lot of vodka. But it's kind of pricey.
>>318816
Go to that man on the street
>>318826
You walk over to the man. He's asleep, drunk.
>>318834
Steal his vodka
>>318844
You take his vodka. He also had some money in his wallet.
You got: Vodka, 1,200 RU ($18.826)
>>318849
I don't feel good about it, but a man has to drink. Try to find a back entrance to the vodka store
>>318844
Steal vodka. Leave one RU
>>318855
You leave 1 RU ($0.016).
Inventory: 4,199 RU ($65.874), Vodka (4), Bread, Soul Vodka
>>318880
Forgot image
>>318885
Time to go in bar
>>318905
You enter the bar. He greets you, saying "Дoбpo пoжaлoвaт! Чтo тeбe нyжнo?" (Welcome! What do you need?)
>>318956
I need a job for vodka
>>318956
ask where the closest vodka supplier is.
>>318956
Your cheapest vodka and a job
>>318956
Any games around?
>>318979
>>319003
He says "Well I do have something you could do. There's a box of firearms over at the gun shop that needs to be carried over here, and i'm too busy tending the bar."
"Will you do it? The payment is 1,000 RU."
>>319044
Inventory: 4,199 RU ($65.874), Vodka (4), Bread, Soul Vodka
>>319044
Nope. Sorry. Goodbye.
>>319044
Accept
Go to get ye firearms
>>319044
Da blyat, maybe we steal Kalashnikov when he not looking
>>319044
I'll do it... but only if I also get a vodka!
>>319062
But if it goes bad, it will be fun
>>319062
Oh pizdu nahuy let a slav do what he does best
Get into trouble, blyat
>>319080
We can't go to hell when we are true non-heretical Orthodox Christians, cyka
>>319068
>>319067
>>319057
>>319056
>>319055
You walk to the gun store. On the counter is a box.
Here's some options.
DANGER: THIS OPTION WILL CHANGE THE REST OF THE QUEST.
>Steal a weapon
>Don't steal a weapon
>>319101
Don't steal a weapon
We are lucky enough to stumble on one later
>>319108
You decide not to steal a weapon. You take the box back to the bartender. He thanks you, and puts 1,000 RU on the table.
You got: 1,000 RU ($15.688)
Inventory: 5,199 RU ($81.562), Vodka (4), Bread, Soul Vodka
>>319160
Challenge bartender to a game of roulette.
RUSSIAN roulette.
But to us, is simply roulette.
>>319160
Challenge him or another man in the bar to a game of shots
>>319167
Winner gets a kalashnikov
Loser gets a kick in their pelmenis
>>319180
Well, I guess we could make something work. We've got no guns though.
>>319187
Bartender just got guns
>>319180
Let's go antagonize the militsiya then
>>319180
Let's do a drinking game or a game of darts
>>319160
ask where the nearest vodka supplier is
>>319180
Ask the bartender in a casual manner if business is good these days, nodding and winking toward the box knowingly. I'm feeling kind of tipsy after my 100th shot and I feel that this is a suave and good idea.
Apologies everyone. I passed out. I will do more shit in the morning.
>>319160
Double check your inventory for knives.
>>320589
You check your inventory for knives.
There's no knives in your pockets.
[blue]Inventory: 5,199 RU ($81.562), Vodka (4), Bread, Soul Vodka
>>320634
Huh? What's wrong with the colorcodes?
>>320634
They change all the time. /qst/ fucking up. Talk to the guy behind us
>>320634
Only the OP can do bold and colours. Since your IP changed you are not seen as the OP any more
>>320645
You say "Hello."
He doesn't respond, so you look at him. Seems like he's had a bit too much to drink. He's out cold.
>>320655
Oh, then should I create a new thread?
>>320668
I think it's fine.
>>318188
>>320687
What?
>>320701
Bepis
>>320670
You walk outside of the bar. There's a man outside, and it looks like he set up a shop.
Inventory: 5,199 RU ($81.562), Vodka (4), Bread, Soul Vodka
>>320791
Go up to him and discuss politics.
>>320804
You walk to the man's store and yell "POLITICS! POLITIIIIIIIIIIIIIICS!" in his face. He doesn't care, seems like he gets crazies in his face all of the time.
>>320814
A view of the whole store
>>320814
Tell him you want egg
>>320823
You yell "I WANT EGG!"
He says "Sir, we don't have any eggs here."
Here's some options
>Steal shit
>Don't steal shit
>>320860
Tell him that some black guy ran down the street with some merchandise.
>>320865
>black guy
>In Russia
Really?
>>320874
Then a chink took it
>>320888
You say "Some chink went down the street with your merchandise!"
He says "Oh damn it. I'll be right back!"
He runs down the street.
You can steal 2 items.
>Browning Assault Rifle
>Ammo
>Pistol
>Bread
>Brown wide pot
>Brown tall pot
>>320971
+1 INTELLIGENCE
>>320971
Steal ammo and pistol
Hide them in slavsuit with the vodka.
>>320971
Take the rifle and some ammo. Leave 1 rubble.
Take the Brown wide pot and Brown tall pot.
Maybe there will be something inside, if we are , lucky
>>320986
You take the rifle and the ammo.
-1 RU ($0.016)
Inventory:5,198 RU ($81.430), Vodka (4), Bread, Soul Vodka, Browning Assault Rifle, Ammo Box (4 refills for the rifle)
>>321041
Shoot the pots
>>321041
I feel bad. We will return later. Now, lets go to the ghetto, but before we do, look in the pots
>>321055
You look in the pots.
Just dust.
Inventory:5,198 RU ($81.430), Vodka (4), Bread, Soul Vodka, Browning Assault Rifle, Ammo Box (4 refills for the rifle)
>>321077
Start a second russian revolution with your newly acquired firearms.
>>321077
Alright. Lets go to the ghetto
>>321083
You go to the ghetto. Or as locals call it, Gangland.
You hear footsteps, and you ready your weapon.
Inventory:5,198 RU ($81.430), Vodka (4), Bread, Soul Vodka, Browning Assault Rifle (equipped), Ammo Box (4 refills for the rifle)
>>321077
we feel the need to do something useful with our life for a change, we feel that we need to join the Russian Military so that we may help Putin stick it to those fascists in Ukraine!
Only question is what branch?
>>321127
Lets try out for the special forces
>>321130
with our high luck we should ace the training regardless of the fact that we are completely unfit for the job!
>>321130
Spetsnaz!
>>321125
Run down the street like a madman spouting curses at people.
>>321125
Going to eat something.
Feel free to talk amongst yourselves about what has happened and what may happen.
>INTERMISSION<
>>321176
I still think we should join the Spetsnaz after fighting some gangsters
>>321187
Yeah. We can try
have some waiting music for the intermission
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrmL5wy8aQ4
>>321176
I'm back, we'll exit the intermission in about 10~ minutes. Any questions?
Oh, and my steam account is at http://steamcommunity.com/id/connectionsanchi/
>>321285
When are you gonna end the quest? When you run out of ideas?
>>321298
It will end when reality implodes.
The intermission is now over. Look at >>321125 and decide what you would like to do.
>>321337
Lets try to find some squatting gangsters, and after that, to the nearest recruiting station.
>>321341
You start walking, and you hear something. sounds like someone's pulling back the bolt on a rifle...Shit! Sniper!
COMBAT SEQUENCE HAS STARTED
ROLL 1D20 ON ACTIONS
Rolled 18 (1d20)
>>321492
OH MY! Get behind a corner to hide from the sniper. Then try to throw a rock to get the sniper to fire. If he fires, shoot at him.
>>321501
You rush to get to cover. You grab a rock and throw it. He shoots at the rock. He's distracted right now, do we rush him?
>>321535
Yes. Run to that doorway in a dead sprint.
>>321535
rush B cyka blyat
Rolled 9 (1d20)
>>321553
>>321553
>>321555
You run into the building and get up the stairs. He's standing there with a pistol pointed at you.
Roll 1d20
Rolled 8 (1d20)
>>321596
We shoot first.
Rolled 9 (1d20)
>>321596
We shoot first
Rolled 11 (1d20)
>>321623
Do we have a luck helper
>>321640
Forgot about that. Reroll with +2 to the roll.
Rolled 5 + 2 (1d20 + 2)
>>321660
Rolled 6 + 2 (1d20 + 2)
>>321660
Why not add two to the roll already provided sempai
>>321640
>>321689
>>321690
The bullet hit us.
-30 HP with -10 HP because of our low Endurance skill (2), so -40 HP.
We now have 60/100 HP
Rolled 14 (1d20)
>>321742
Shoot him in the dick
>>321742
Smash an (empty) vodka bottle over his head, then squat.
>>321742
Return fire, try for kill-shot.
Rolled 19 (1d20)
>>321778
>>321752
You shoot his cock. There are bad things you can do to someone but this is possibly the worst. At the realisation you just shot him in his fucking dick, he falls on the ground and vomits. He dropped his pistol. He's currently bleeding out from his crotch and from his exit wound.
What have you done.
Rolled 20 (1d20)
>>321796
Pick up his pistol and execute him with it.
>>321817
Damn.
>>321825
And the spetsnaz recruiter was watching the whole time.
Jesus, this is fucking brutal.
>>321817
>>321825
After shooting him in his cock and balls, you pick up his own pistol and execute him.
You've successfully given this man the most painful death possible, not physically, but mentally.
Wow. I bet you feel good about yourself now.
>>321864
Search the area for more shooters. (Also how big a deal is us currently being shot? Do we need to deal with it?)
>>321864
Loot him and eat some vodka bread.
Rolled 11 + 2 (1d20 + 2)
>>321864
Go to prison.
Rolled 18 + 2 (1d20 + 2)
>>321900
Avoid prison.
>>321908
Dammit.
>>321940
Lets go stash these weapons at home and go to the recruiting office.
>>321948
We're a worthless gopnik. We're not elligible for that shit
Check my image, this is our inventory and armor.
We can stash those weapons though.
>>322029
Stroll into the center of town and see what's going on.
>>322029
In that case hold onto the weapons. Go find our friend. I assume we have at least one friend to go find.
>>322059
We don't have any friends. Perhaps we can make some.
>>322068
So lets go to town
>>322068
Go look for friends.
>>322068
We don't have even a single gopnik buddy that we squat with? To share vodka and get into trouble with? To share good times and bad? And no plucky gopnitsa who we treat like shit regularly but always looks after us when we land ourselves in shit?
We go now to place of living, change into best tracksuit, and go to find two friends.
>>322144
Anon, we just shot a man in the testicles and executed in cold blood, and you're wondering why we don't have friends?
>>322078
>>322068
>>322077
We are now on what little of a mainstreet your town has.
You see the gun shop and the bar.
Where will you go?
>Gun Shop
>Bar
>>322161
Bar. Maybe something will be happening there
>>322161
That shady-looking alley beckons to me. Enter it, instead.
>>322161
Bar
Let's drink some rakiya now, yes?
>>322148
He shot first.
>>322161
Bar. I'm itching to find a source of vodka.
>>322185
>>322180
>>322167
>>322164
We enter the bar. Looks like it's getting robbed.
Will you
>Help the bartender
>Help the robber
>>322199
never step between a gopnik and his vodka. help the bartender.
>>322199
Help the bartender. He gave us work when we asked for it. Plus he has vodka.
>>322199
Observe them for now, try to conceal yourself without making any noise and draw a weapon down on them. Let's try and listen to what's really happening here.
>>322199
Help bartender, maybe he will become our first friend.
>>322199
Oy blin, help the bartender, he was good guy before, who knows maybe he becomes our tovarisch.
>>322199
help barkeep, he will maybe recommend us to recruiter as upstanding member of community
>>322212
You listen.
Bartender = B
Robber = R
B: Listen, i'll repay my debt, just give me a couple more weeks!
R: Your time's up. You wronged my family and now i'm coming to get my payment. Now where's the 40,000 ($621.669)?
B: I'll get it to you when I have it. Why can't I get another week?
R: I need that money now or my family will starve. I was with you to the end but you just betrayed me. Now where's the money? Your time's up!
>>322279
it sounds like the robber is in the right here, let's help the robber
>>322279
Walk up to the robber, pull his pants down, and stick your rock hard dick into his bum while whispering "Talk more of that betrayal shit, it's my fetish."
>>322296
This
Rolled 20 + 2 (1d20 + 2)
>>322279
Give the robber your own money to defuse the situation.
Rollin'
>>322296
seriously, c'mon we're a TRUE SLAV not a gay
>>322279
Yep, that about confirms it.
We come around the corner quickly and surprise them both, assault rifle at the ready. Shout the robber down to the floor with his hands on his head, and kill him if he doesn't comply immediately. Then point at the bartender and tell him to come out and do the same next to the robber, and spend an awkward five to ten minutes mediating their disagreement by force and intimidation.
>>322324
Wait. No. Forget my choice. Shoot the bartender in the dick
>>322302
>>322293
We decide to help the robber. We say we'll help him, and he nods and looks back at the bartender. He says "I've got someone else on my side. Now will you fork it over?"
The bartender silently puts a wad of rubles on the table. Yep, it's 40,000. What an asshole, keeping money from a guy with a starving family. Justice is served.
He says he'll split you some of the cash, 50/50.
You got: 20,000 RU ($312.993)
Inventory:25,198 RU ($394.340), Vodka (3), Soul Vodka, Browning Assault Rifle (equipped), Ammo Box (4 refills for the rifle), Ruger 10/22
Looks like you made yourself a new friend.
He's got to go back to feed his family now, though.
>>322465
Go meet his family.
>>322465
Ask him if he knows any place to get work, legal or otherwise
>>322465
Follow him back to see if he actually has a family
>>322465
Give him back half and meet his family
>>322474
>>322485
>>322508
He says his family lives back in Yakutsk. He says he will let you come with him if you would like to. He has a car, he says.
>>322560
go with nice man in car, what is possibly being wrong with going off with man you meet 2 minutes ago?
>>322560
go with him, of course, what's the worst that could happen? We have the soul vodka.
>>322560
Go with him. Offer him one of our vodka, driving is thirsty work.
>>322560
Share with him the vodka as you journey there.
>>322569
>>322566
>>322581
You arrive with him at Yakutsk, and you go with him into his house. Yeah, he has a family. His family is comprised of 2 children, a mother, and him. The mother thanks you, and the children play in the background, happy that they will live another day. Your friend sends you off with a "Thank you so much."
You're now happy with yourself.
>>322663
Introduce yourself
>>322663
Go find a bear to kill.
>>322663
Do not do anything horrible to these people.
In fact after arranging to go drinking with this man another day we should leave.
>>322663
Drink all your remaining vodka (save special one) and pass out in the snow.
>>322670
we already met them.
Anyways, I roll that we explore this new town
>>322692
>>322684
>>322686
>>322753
We look around the town, and eventually find a bar. You smell the wonderful smell of vodka.
The man at the counter is counting a very large amount of money.
>>322829
Buy everything.
>>322829
I'll be back.
>INTERMISSION<
Once again, players, feel free to talk about what has happened what may happen.
>>322829
Hello my good sir. What is the word around town?
>>322829
Ask him for a bottle of his best vodka, and a minuet of his second best conversation.
>>322845
Intermission is over.
You say "Any news around town?"
He says "Well, the war's been coming through here. The japanese have been pushing the military back. Seems like we lost what made us the russian military a long time ago."
>>323208
Damn. Anything I can do to help out the Russians?
>>323223
"Well, there is some way. I've got to talk to you about it somewhere else though."
WARNING: ONE OPTION WILL CHANGE THE NAME OF THE QUEST AND CHANGE THE QUEST COMPLETELY, AND ONE WILL KEEP IT HOW IT IS.
>Yes
>No
>>323345
We are russian defense force now.
Da, comrade.
>>323388
If you want to do something different, say no. Majority rules
>>323388
Vote please. If you have a conflicting opinion, make your voice heard.
>>323395
I have, but seeing as how it's been 2-1 this entire time, it's a bit frustrating, even when I got a natural 20 roll.
>>323418
The last one you did was pretty silly so i didn't select it. We didn't have 40,000 rubles to give him.
>>323345
DO IT.
>>323418
Hmmm. That's a valid grunge. Well, what do you want to do?
>>323345
Everyone, (Yes, even you, lurker.) you need to vote.
>>323433
Whatever. It's just my two-cents.
Uh, OP you know that a 10/22 is a rifle, right?
I'm sure you also know that BAR stands for Browning Automatic Rifle.
>>323453
I know the Ruger 10/22 is a rifle. We got it from the sniper. That was his rifle.
>>323456
Then what happened to the pistol we stole from old dickless?
>>323463
We dropped that shit
>>323345
>No
>>323345
Yes.
Yes join im
>>323532
4-2, with my vote also being yes
so that makes it 5-2
>>323532
I vote yes as well
>>323532
bump and yes
>>323532
vote4yes
>>325291
i am downloading new addons for the quest but my internet is shit so it'll take a while, in the mean time go check out Spetsnaz Quest to keep updated on the story while i download the mods
>>325807
You are great op don't let anyone tell you otherwise
>>326408
Thanks dude.
>>326442
forgot my name
And apologies for my ID changing a lot, my internet is terrible.
>>326472
otherwise
>>326602
I´ll get you next time!
>>326649
otherwise
>>326661
You win
