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European Dragon Quest 7
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Character Sheet (Please read if you do not know the rules, or are new, so you don't disrupt the game... Or call me a faggot.)
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jI0aGxA_2h3SAcPYri-1fdgskbK3IbtfEzSLJ7VY9gU/edit
Previous Thread (Please Archive)
>>215125

Strawpoll:http://www.strawpoll.me/10404438
Please do this, so I can actually judge if Renexizious is religious or not.

Last time, we attempted to fight the White Death, realized that the fucking Finnish are badass, we also realized that snipers are really, really fucking hardcore against soft targets, such us in human form, yelled at the OP for being a faggot, Renexizious died (but didn't?), then OP went full /pol/ack after getting drunk after the anons raged anyways after receiving mercy, because they were too edgy to live, and the newfags were cleansed. We also learned that for some reason, we cannot shift to Draconic Form. Which is obviously connected to our death
On further note, watch yourselves around /qst/ dice, they've been bloodthirsty for a few days now
Also, going to attempt to use further text formatting, such as different colors to mark when characters talk, just for ease of reading.

You stand in the middle of the street, snow falling around you. Below you, is a puddle of your own blood, now frozen over. The White Death is no where to be found, and you are both tired and hungry... You have a few ideas of where you could rest.
Actions
Current Form: Half-Dragon
>Burrow underground and wait for morning.
>Find a peasant's house and request to rest there for the night
>Sleep in the streets.
>Track down the White Death, and end him. (Agility, VERY HARD)
>Write-In
>>
>>225019
>Take the long trek back to the palace
>>
>>225019
>Burrow underground and wait for morning


this is my first time playing so if i did it wrong please tell me
>>
>>225033
Your green text works yes
>>
Going to wait about ten minutes and that's when voting will end.
>>
>>225019
>Take the long trek back to the palace
I mean, they may think we're dead. Gotta show em we're not done yet
>>
>>225019
>Burrow underground and wait for morning.
>>
Alright, so >Take the long trek back to the palace wins.
I'm considering this a 1d20+9 as a body check, and the -2 is from missing an eye.
>>
>>225083
Let's go find out if there's such a thing as healing magic.
>>
Rolled 15 + 9 (1d20 + 9)

>>225093
whoops.
>>
Rolled 10 + 9 (1d20 + 9)

>>225093
We already healed ourselves technically but doing so further might kill us
>>
Rolled 14 + 9 (1d20 + 9)

>>225083
>>
>>225100
No, I mean actual good healing magic, not magically animating this organ/bone so it doesn't need to live. We're showcasing the limits of necromantic healing right now.
>>
>>225118
Careful anon, those are the kind of words that cursed that other anon to roll only ones in the last thread. Necromancy Stronk.
>>
Interesting.
>>225098
15+9=24
You travel far... Days go by, and your eye doesn't really help you too much in the art of seeing where you are going. You hunt deer in the woods, hoping to out-endurance them so you have SOMETHING to eat. However, you never feel full, even when you've eaten a small herd of reindeer.
Eventually, you arrive outside of Stockholm, at midnight. Avoiding the glance of civilians to see their Emperor like this, you walk inside to the Imperial Palace, where your lair is, and you sneak into the dungeon.
Along the way, you notice your scales took on a darker contrast, and your previously bright white scales have become pale grey, and the black spot on your chest has expanded to most of your torso. However, other than that, it has had no effect.
Actions
>Attempt to study the reason you cannot go into Dragon Form. (Intelligence)
>Study why this black mark has no effect on you now. (Intelligence)
>Study why you are always hungry now... (Intelligence)
>Study on how you actually survived... (Intelligence)
>Write-In
Additionally...
>Call down Annita to help study with you.
>You do not need her help.
>>
Rolled 4 + 9 (1d20 + 9)

>>225124
Can we change into our dragon form? No?
>>
>>225126
>Study why this black mark has no effect on you now. (Intelligence)
>Call down Annita to help study with you.
>>
>>225126
>>Attempt to study the reason you cannot go into Dragon Form. (Intelligence)
inb4 dragon zombie.
>>
>>225133
Nope, you died and were locked out of it for some reason. You traveled the way in Half-Dragon form, which has limited wings, but cannot fly across the fucking Baltic ocean.
>>
>>225126
>>Attempt to study the reason you cannot go into Dragon Form. (Intelligence)
>Call down Annita to help study with you.

We need to get back to full strength as soon as possible. Being a nine-story-tall dragon was our greatest asset, we're super weak right now.
>>
>>225126
>all intelligence checks in top-down preference
>>
Whelp, roll me a 2d20+2 now.
>Cannot Go Into Dragon Form studying wins.
First roll is Annita's studying.
Second roll is your studying.
>>
Rolled 4, 15 + 2 = 21 (2d20 + 2)

>>225149
>>
Rolled 11, 15 + 2 = 28 (2d20 + 2)

>>225149
>>
Rolled 12 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>225149
>>
>>225126
>Study on how you actually survived... (Intelligence)

Hey OP, do you have a twitter where we can follow in case you make a new thread and such?
>>
Rolled 20 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>225149
My bad it was 2
>>
Rolled 4, 1 + 2 = 7 (2d20 + 2)

>>225149
>>
>>225157
It's @QuestingQM
I just realized I didn't post that, thank you.
>>
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>>225159
Mama Mia!
>>225160
It's a spicy one!
And for Renexizious, none the less...
Writing.
Pic slightly related to how I feel right now.
(In case your new, criticals are nearly always prioritized, no matter where they are)
>>
>>225173
So ren got a 20 AND a 1? Do they cancel out so we get 15, or are shenanigans about to occur?
>>
>>225177
I think she got the 20 and we got the 1. It's no biggie, we just try again.
>>
>>225182
No, man, the anon that rolled the 20 rolled a 12 first, then the 20 because he forgot to add a second d20 to the field. That 20 was for us.
>>
Anitta's Studying
11+2=13
Minor Success!
Renexizious's Studying
1+2=3, 20+2=22
Critical Successful Failure!?!

You open up books and start studying. You call down Anitta to help out with you. After explaining (some) of the situation to her, she agrees to help you.
That's when you find a strange book in the corner of the room... It is not labeled, and it was never in your room before... It has countless notes sticking out of it, with strange writing not similar to that of the pages... In addition, a faded signature reads that of "Gy-", but the rest of it is too faded to read, not to mention the mysterious P on the left side of what seems to be the front, and plenty of letters faded away on said front and back.
>Read it!
>Strange books in corners are best left alone...
>>
>>225198
>>Read it!
Seems legit
>>
>>225198
>Read it!
Knowledge is power.
>>
>>225198
>Yup Wes is readin dat shit.
>>
>inb4 the "Gy-" was "Gygax"
>inb4 it's just a first edition DnD book
>>
>>225198
>Read it!
>>
>>225198
>We /lit/ now.
>>
>>225258
We were /fit/ for the first five threads, it /lit/ time now
>>
You delve into the pages... Attempting to find out what this book is, and what it does...
It nearly seems the ramblings of a madman, numbers, letters, and strange numerical tables and in addition... You can barely make sense of it, it is so crammed of numbers and other mathmatics, it seems to be a guide to a certain mortal activity... Called, "Dungeon's and Dragons". You'd read further... Perhaps this is a book that will give you helpful decoration advice? But time is of the essence, and you must find out why you are unable to transform into dragon form.
You have recieved: First Edition D&D Player's Handbook.
Anitta eventually calls you over, and tells you that she might have an answer.
"What is it, Annita?"
"I think I have a theory on why you are unable to transform."
"What is it, then?"
"Well, it seems your soul might require time to heal... If it is true that you have been shot, and that the rumors that dragon's have gargantuan souls are true... You might have to wait a month or two before you are able to." She sets a book down on the floor.
"Damn it! Is there anyway to speed it up?"
"Well, I suppose if you improved yourself and dedicated it towards re-attuning your soul, you might be able to take flight once more, Renexizious."
Actions
>Read a Magic Book (Intelligence)
>Read that Dungeon's and Dragon's book you received.. (Intelligence)
>Read a Political Theory book (Intelligence)
>Travel to Stockholm!
>Talk to Hans
>Talk to Brother Reinhold
>Talk to Anitta
>Talk to Claw
>Study your death further... (Intelligence)
>Talk to one of your Concubines
>Write-In
Days until marriage: 3
Days until Dragon Form re-attuned: 40
also
>>225212
DAMN YOU ANON FOR REALIZING THE PLOY!
>>
>>225267
>>Read that Dungeon's and Dragon's book you received.. (Intelligence)
>>Study your death further... (Intelligence)
>>
>>225267
>Read that Dungeon's and Dragon's book you received.. (Intelligence)
>>Study your death further... (Intelligence)
>>
>>225267
>Study your death further.

This and only this. Get our snout to the grindstone.
>>
>>225281
>This
>>
>>225267
>Study your death further.
>>
Whelp, roll me a 2d20+2, first is for how autistic you are and the second one is for studying shit.
>>
Rolled 20, 14 + 2 = 36 (2d20 + 2)

>>225293
>>
Rolled 10, 12 + 2 = 24 (2d20 + 2)

>>225293
>>
Rolled 13, 10 + 2 = 25 (2d20 + 2)

>>225293
>>225297
We clearly are able to min/max like a motherfucker
>>
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>>225297
Holy shit anon
renexizious has grade A+ dragon autism
writing...
>>
>>225297
We used a nat 20 to learn D&D instead of learning about why we DIED.

The fucking Dice Gods, man.
>>
Renxizious and D&D
20+2=22
Critical Success
Studying your Death
14+2=16
Success!

You read madly through the Player's Handbook. You understand all of it. It is simple, in fact, even a plebian could simply see that if you play a wizard your overpowered... Now, if you took this, and that...
For the next few hours, you learn how to play D&D and shit. You are fucking PUMPED.
Problem is that probably no one here plays D&D... Soon...
Turning your attention to more... Important subjects, such as the details of your death, you eventually uncover that after considerable study, you eventually discover that you are in fact, undead. However, the extent of how well... Undead you are, is to be seen.
Actions
>Read a Magic Book (Intelligence)
>Persuade your allies to join you for a D&D game tomorrow... (Charisma)
>Read a Political Theory book (Intelligence)
>Travel to Stockholm!
>Talk to Hans
>Talk to Brother Reinhold
>Talk to Anitta
>Talk to Claw
>Study your death further... (Intelligence)
>Talk to one of your Concubines
>Write-In
>>
>>225338
Hey, for all we know DnD is legit magic in this universe. Gygax could've been a fuckin Archmage or something

>>225339
>Persuade your allies to join you for a D&D game tomorrow... (Charisma)
>Study your death further... (Intelligence)
>>
>>225339
>Study your death further... (Intelligence)
>Persuade your allies to join you for a D&D game tomorrow... (Charisma)
>>
>>225339
>>Study your death further... (Intelligence)
Let's not bully our subjects thanks.
>>
>>225339
>Study your death further.

Absolutely not the second option.
>>
>>225339
By the way, new skills
Minmaxing: 3
D&D Player: 2
and D&D DM: 2
>>
Waiting ten more minutes
>>
>>225360
>Minmaxing: 3
So long as this applies to more than just DnD, that's actually pretty useful
>>
>>225339
>Study your death further... (Intelligence)
>>
Whelp, roll me a 1d20+2 for this
>>
>>225348
>this
>>
Rolled 15 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>225377
>>225377
>>
Rolled 1 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>225377
>>
Rolled 10 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>225377
>>
>>225377
>>
Rolled 6 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>225377

>>225382
Of course.
>>
Rolled 14 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>225382
That's what we get for ignoring DnD

Is it just me or is this quest suffering from more crit fails than any other? We have the WORST luck.
>>
Rolled 15 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>225377
>>
>>225346
That would be a hilarious twist.

Seconding your actions.
>>
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>>225382
I think the dice gods frown upon you guys not being autistic and doing D&D...
>>
Rolled 18 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>225388
We've also made a lot of stupid decisions.
>>
Rolled 15 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>225394
Not really, though we totally should've stayed full dragon form for fighting someone instead of relying on agility which is our WORST stat.

But you've gotta admit we've rolled a LOT of ones. I mean, last thread alone had what, 4 or 5?
>>
>>225392
>The Dice Gods don't want us to become the Dragon Ruler of Mankind.
>They want us to play Dungeons & Dragons instead.

We have already lost.
>>
Rolled 10 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>225382
must. get. nat. 20.?
>>
>>225402
>our child has to take over the empire because Rex is more interested in playing D&D than he is in run the country
>>
>>225382
1+2=3
Critical Failure.

You... You can't ignore it. You're too PUMPED to not want to fucking do D&D. But you need to know why the fuck you died. Then, you accidentally run through the book you were studying with your claw. Shit. That was the only book you could use to study your death.
You order your servants to bring you a new copy of this book, which will take seven days for delivery.
It also seems today is going to be a free day, instead of the usual "oh shit things are fucked" day.
Actions
>Read a Magic Book (Intelligence)
>Persuade some of your allies to do D&D! (Charisma)
>Read a Political Theory book (Intelligence)
>Travel to Stockholm!
>Travel to Stockholm and attempt to find a tabletop store... Just for a while, ok?
>Talk to Hans
>Talk to Brother Reinhold
>Talk to Anitta
>Talk to Claw
>Talk to one of your Concubines
>Write-In
Marriage is in Three Days!
>>
>>225413
>>Persuade some of your allies to do D&D! (Charisma)
Guys, the dice are telling us this is the only way. Come on.
>>
>>225394
Like trying to intimidate the white death while we were beaten and the dice clearly hated us?
>>
>>225413
>>Travel to Stockholm and attempt to find a tabletop store... Just for a while, ok?
At least do this in our human form.
>>
>>225413
>Travel to Stockholm and attempt to find a tabletop store... Just for a while, ok?

Drag claw with us, maybe we can find someone as socially awkward as him
>>
>>225413
>Travel to Stockholm and attempt to find a tabletop store... Just for a while, ok?
>>
>>225413
>Persuade some of your allies to do D&D! (Charisma)
Time to relax
>>
>>225424
Yep that was one, as well as intimidating the person you surrendered to. I guess I'm counting a couple of extremely poor decisions as multiple, less retarded bad decisions.
>>
>>225413
Jesus Christ, Ren. Get your act together.

>>225427
Fuck it. Let's do this. Appease the Dice Gods with sufficient spaghetti and maybe, MAYBE, they'll favour us in time.
>>
Current Form: Human
You decide to head down to Stockholm... Realizing that you have no ride, you ask for the Imperial Limo to stop outside the city limits. You also forcibly kidnap Claw, because he needs to talk to people, instead of attempting to be socially awkward.
After a few hours of searching, you come across a small game store, full of tabletop books, miniatures... And nerds. Claw seems visibly calmer, since everyone else in here is also obviously socially awkward. Except you.
Actions
>Demand to know where they keep the first edition handbooks for D&D.
>Check out the miniatures.
>Look around for a smaller, more indie tabletop.
>Join the nerds. You will be playing D&D this night. (D&D Player Skill)
>Write-In
Claw's Action
>Fuck, look at the books... Why the hell are you here? (Intelligence)
>Look at the miniatures. They look cool, you guess.
>There's some cool-looking card games and shit in the corner, maybe check them out?
>Hang out with the fellow socially-awkward people. (Intelligence)
>Talk to the store-owner, maybe you can get to know him better? (Charisma)
>Write-In
>>
>>225466
>>Check out the miniatures.
Get ourselves a tiny adorable dragon one or half-dragon one

>Hang out with the fellow socially-awkward people. (Intelligence)
>>
>>225466
Renexizious's actions

>Check out the miniatures.

I want us to get into some WW2-esque tabletop game.


Claw's Action

>Hang out with the fellow socially-awkward people. (Intelligence)

Maybe he can get a girlfriend
>>
>>225466
>Check out the miniatures.
>Hang out with the fellow socially-awkward people. (Intelligence)
>>
>>225466
>Check out the miniatures.

>Hang out with the fellow socially-awkward people. (Intelligence)
>>
Alright, going with Renexizious first.
Lore wise, fucking D&D books and tabletop shit was invented way earlier then norm, because fuck invention dates

You head over to the aisle which holds the miniatures. Handbooks dot the side, some referencing fantasy battles, while others showcase world-war battles and one in particular has strange-looking men in armor, and the handbook is called "Warhammer, 40k" The miniatures of this particular series take up a large section of the aisle.
Actions
>Look at the realistic wargame figures.
>Look at the fantasy wargame figures
>Look at these... Warhammer 40k figurines.
>Grab some D&D miniatures and buy them.
>Write-In
>>
>>225493
>Look at the realistic wargame figures.

Later in quest we should commission our own figure line
>>
>>225493
>>Grab some D&D miniatures and buy them.
Gonna need em for when we force everyone else to play with us mang
>>
>>225493
>Get it all
>>
>>225493
>Look at the realistic wargame figures.
>>
>>225493
>>Look at the realistic wargame figures.
Bolt Action is good, fantasy wargames might be educational, 40k will bankrupt our country.
>>
>>225501
>every week some guys walks into the store
>he buys every fucking thing in the store, minis included
>comes in with some weird guy
>he attempts to talk to people but all he can say is "y-you too" and walk away
>feelsgoodmang.jpg
>>
>>225493
>>225500
>>225501
I'll switch to this. We own a country, we can get, like, at LEAST a few!
>>
>>225493
>Look at the fantasy wargame figures.
Acquire dragon mini immediately.
>>
Which Realistic Wargame do you get?
>Modern Era Wargame
>Medieval Era Wargame
>Roman Era Wargame
>Industrial Era Wargame
>World War II Era Wargame
>Napoleonic Era Wargame
>Write-In
In addition...
Buy anything else?
>Yes
>No
>>
>>225531
>>World War II Era Wargame
>Yes
Buy a dragon figure, a Dragonblooded human figure, and a werewolf figure for Claw
>>
>>225531
>Modern Era Wargame
>Yes
>>
>>225531
>All of them
>>
>>225541
It's like we're Claw's dad or something. Bringing him to the store and making him meet people, then buying him a toy.
>>
>>225531
>>World War II Era Wargame

>Buy anything else?
Buy whatever's big in the store now. We need to get a game going.
>>
>>225550
People bring friends when they drink beer, don't see why this has to be different.
>>
Ending voting in ten minutes.
>>
Ok, back. Looks like WW2 wins.


You pick up an interesting looking game called Bolt Action, and pick up some shit for Claw and yourself, mostly because he's there and you can easily afford it.
Actions
>Continue buying Realistic Wargames. (Which one?)
>Go to a different aisle. (Which one?)
>Look at the 40k figurines.
>Hang out with some nerds and try to get a game going with Bolt-Action. (Wargame Skill)
>Write-In
>>
>>225595
>>Hang out with some nerds and try to get a game going with Bolt-Action. (Wargame Skill)
Get claw in on this. Maybe we can partner up or some shit?
>>
>>225595
I'll also like to point out that unless you buy a fuckton of shit, I don't really keep track of it because it's such a minor purchase.
>>
>>225603
Just assume we've bought something unless it's something that would have been prohibitively expensive imo
>>
>>225595
>Hang out with some nerds and try to get a game going with Bolt-Action. (Wargame Skill)
>>
>>225595
>>225603
Also, will our Minmax skill help for tabletop skills?
>>
>>225621
It'll help for getting the best units for the minimal points, but from there it becomes Wargaming.
>>
Alright, switching PoV to Claw.
You decide to talk to some of those humans over there while... Renexizious does whatever he's doing in the miniature isle or whatever.
Roll me a 1d20+3 for talking to some nerds.
>>
Rolled 11 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>225636
>>
Rolled 9 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>225636
>>
>>225639
11+3=14
Minor Success!
You walk over to a table where a bunch of these guys are playing... Something.
A few seconds of awkward staring, and you decide to say something.
"Uhm... Hi?"
One of the guys, apparently rolling a dice looks at you.
"Can I help you?"
"Just... Uh. Just wondering what your playing."
"Oh, you've never heard or played D&D before?"
"What's that?"
The man starts explaining to you what the hell D&D is and all that... You think you got most of it.
Actions
>Ask if you could join? (D&D Player Skill)
>Just use your natural awkwardness and slowly walk away.
>Write-In
>>
>>225679
>>Ask if you could join? (D&D Player Skill)
Clearly claw plays a werewolf bard.
>>
>>225679
>Ask if you could join? (D&D Player Skill)
>>
>>225679
>Ask if you could join

FIGHT ON, CLAW!
>>
>>225691
His pickup line?
"Y-You too."
I personally would go for a prestige class in Speghettimancer though.

The man accepts your invintation, and you sit at the table. A few minutes later, they hand you a character sheet... Roll me a 1d20+3 for how well this goes in D&D.
>>
Rolled 5 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>225706
This is getting meta.
>>
Rolled 8 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>225706
>>
Rolled 19 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>225706
>>
>>225716
19+3=22
Excellent Success!

After some further explanation and going over the rules for character customization, you create (what you'd assume) is a pretty good lycanthrope Barbarian.
Now, just roll me a 1d20 for how well the session goes. No bonuses. After this, we'll switch PoV to Renexizious.
>>
Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>225729
>>
Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>225729
Barbarian? Aw.
>>
>>225734
18
Excellent Session!
You are now in Renexizious's PoV

As you glance out from the Miniature's aisle, you notice that Claw is... Well, if he was in his true form he'd probably be wagging his tail or something, he seems to be having fun... While you buy shit.
>Anything else you want to buy?
>Yes
>No
>>
>>225753
>No
>>
>>225753
>>No
>>
Haha oh wow, Claw seems to be a natural at tabletop games.

>>225753

See if they have a guide about the history behind DnD, maybe there's some historical truth in this game, as lycantrophes, wizards, dungeons and even dragons are real
>>
Before you leave the aisles, you quickly steal a book called the Monster Manual, and buy your Bolt-Action wargame, along with the Monster Manual.
What do?
>See if you can't get in on the action with Claw. (Minmaxing)
>Attempt to play Bolt-Action (Wargaming)
>Get Claw and leave, you're done here.
>>
>>225799
>>Attempt to play Bolt-Action (Wargaming)
>>
>>225799
>Attempt to play Bolt-Action (Wargaming)
>>
>>225799
>>See if you can't get in on the action with Claw. (Minmaxing)
Time to show off?
>>
You decide to play Bolt-Action with one of the neckbeards here. In the corner of the gaming store, a slim man offers to play the Battle of Stalingrad with you.
Choices
>Choose the German Reich side.
>Choose the Russian side.
Also, roll me a 1d20+3 for minmaxing the shit out of how many units you get.
>>
Rolled 3 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>225838
>>
Rolled 6 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

Ignore my rolling.
>>
Rolled 9 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>225838
>Choose the German Reich side.
>>
>>225859
9+3=12
Success!
You create an army mostly geared around Panzers and Snipers, so you can take out heavily defended positions. It seems your opponent is going for the classic soviet mass infantry with limited anti-tank support.
Actions
>Attempt to flank his forces with some of your lighter Panzers. (Tactics)
>Have your snipers take out their anti-tank support. (Tactics)
>Charge to victory! (Wargaming)
>Attempt to surround and destroy them. (Wargaming)
>Attempt to bombard them from afar with your Panzers. (Wargaming)
>Write-In
>>
>>225880
>>Have your snipers take out their anti-tank support. (Tactics)
>>
Rolled 3 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>225880
Ignore my rolling
>>
>>225880
>Have your snipers take out their anti-tank support. (Tactics)
>>
>>225880
>Have your snipers take out their anti-tank support. (Tactics)
>>
Alright, roll me a 1d20+3 for taking them out. Also, current units
[blue[Allied Units[/blue]
250x SMG Infantry
2x Light Machine Gunners
150x Heavy Panzers
50x Light Panzers
15x Anti-Tank Infantry
Enemy Units
1200x Infantry
2x T-34s
35x Anti-Tank Infantry
>>
>>225880
hey QM im that guy from last thread you called a Jew and a Bernie Sanders supporter.

I just wanted to say that even though i still think im right, i hope there are no hard feelings and i encourage you to continue this great quest in what ever direction you see fit.
>>
>>225908
Oh, crap, sorry about that. I must of been shitfaced last night. Sorry man.
>>
Rolled 1 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>225904
>>
Rolled 3 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>225904
>>
>>225916
>>225916
Wew lad, luckily it's just a game, right?
>>
>>225913
You were, you insulted multiple members of you player base. Mostly by calling us cucks, bernie supporters, trump haters and jews.
>>
Anyways, do you guys want to use Barbaric for this roll?
>>225916
>Yes
>No
>>
>>225930
>225930
Holy shit, how drunk was I?
I guess I'm an example of why you don't Drink and QM.
>>
>>225931
Nah, going by our luck we'll need it later.

>>225939
Nah, you mainly insulted the guys going "REEEEE TAKE THE 20 KEKFAG REEEEE" s'cool.
>>
>>225931
>No
>>
>>225939
you should reread the thread
>>
>>225931
>No
It's just a game.
>>
>>225916
1+3=4
Critical Failure

Your noble-hearted attempt to take out snipers fails. Spectacularly. The anti-tank infantry actually snipe your snipers... Now, all you really have left are your panzers...
Actions
>Charge! For the Reich! (Wargaming)
>Attempt to flank with lighter tanks! (Tactics)
>Write-In

>>225958
I am, and holy shit was I drunk posting that, jeez. Guess I know why no one actually wants to come with me to bars now.
>>225950
But didn't I (kinda) take the twenty? I'm confused now.
>>
>>225939
Nonsense, drinking while QMing is mandatory. It just helps in moderation.
>>
>>225976
>>Charge! For the Reich! (Wargaming)
>>
>>225976
>Attempt to flank with lighter tanks! (Tactics)
>>
>>225976
>>Charge! For the Reich! (Wargaming)

>>225976
You DID kinda take the twenty, I'm the anon that rolled it. You took the 20 and they STILL reeee'd for ages hence the drinking+counter REEEE-ing.
>>
>>225976
>Attempt to flank with lighter tanks! (Tactics)
>>
>>225976
now that your not drunk what do you think of my points?
>>
Rolled 2 (1d2)

>>225993
>>225993
Laughing my ass off towards the end, where I go full /pol/ack, guess I should probably drink a little less whiskey during this quest.
>>225998
Ehh... Not really. You did call me a bigot, and ignore that one dude's advice.

Anyways, rolling a dice to decide action
1=CHARGE!
2=Flank!
>>
Rolled 11 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

Whelp, roll me a 1d20+3 for tactics. Ignore my rolling as usual.
>>
Rolled 7 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>226019
>>
Rolled 8 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>226019
>>
Rolled 15 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>226019
>>
Rolled 20 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>226019
>>
File: 1460413028489.gif (2 MB, 817x537) Image search: [Google]
1460413028489.gif
2 MB, 817x537
>>226029
Shattering their skies, anon...
Writing as we speak. I guess Renexizious may just be CREED! In dragon form.
>>
>>226029
20+3=23
Critical Success!
Your light tanks flank, and take care of their anti-tank defenses. Your heavy tanks charge down the center, and with the enemy infantry unable to counter, they are crushed extremely fast. The two lone T-34s attempt to take out your panzers, but are overwhelmed by your light tanks firing into their sides.

The man salutes you, and you look over to Claw, who's finished playing D&D and is now anxiously waiting to go.
You go back to your estate, and fall asleep...
Current Form: Half-Dragon
Eventually, you awake in the morning, and a servant is here to see you.
"What is it, servant?"
"Hans is here to see you again."
"Goddamn it."
Actions
>Tell the servant to delay him, you need to do something!
>Get it over with.
>>
>>226052
>Get it over with
>>
>>226052
>>Get it over with.
>>
>>226052
>>Get it over with.
Do we look disheveled? Should we be waxing our scales or brushing our teeth?
>>
>>226067
You don't know anon, you haven't really looked in a mirror or anything like that.

"Fine, now leave me mortal."
Hans is back in your Foyer, pacing back and forth urgently.
"Renexizious, rumors are traveling around that you've been killed among the peasantry... By the White Death. However, since your with me... I can be assured you killed the White Death, right?
Actions
>Sure. Yeah. I guess. (Charisma)
>Nope, got shot and (nearly) killed.
>Write-In
>>
>>226052
>Get it over with.
If it's Hans, then it's probably important.
>>
>>226086
>Make sure no one is around to overhear
>Nope, got shot and (nearly) killed.
>>
>>226086
>>Nope, got shot and (nearly) killed.
>Write-in
I fucked up, hans. I fucked up *bad*
>>
>>226086
>>Nope, got shot and (nearly) killed.
Don't worry Hans, I'll be back to gain revenge on that troublesome mortal soon.
>>
>>226086
>Nope, got shot and (nearly) killed.

"He shot me in the eye for gods sake!"
>>
You make sure no one around is able to hear.
"I nearly died there, Hans. The White Death is somehow more powerful then me."
Hans seems legitimately shocked, then starts thinking deeper.
"I would see Anitta about how exactly a mortal man could nearly kill you with ease... Perhaps it might be a magical phenomena."
Actions
>Agree, you could use the advice, and you need all the one-ups you can get.
>Disagree, you do not need magic telling you what you already know.
>>
>>226117
>>Disagree, you do not need magic telling you what you already know.
There's no good in publicizing the issue further. We will find this man and show him our power once we've healed.
>>
>>226117
>Disagree, you do not need magic telling you what you already know.
>>
>>226117
>Disagree, you do not need magic telling you what you already know.

"He is a good sniper and I have the same weak-points in human form as any other. Seriously though he got me in the eye!"
>>
>>226117
>>Disagree, you do not need magic telling you what you already know.
"No, it was my fault for engaging him in a more human form. I should have just dropped a dragon on him instead. That tends to solve problems easier."
>>
"He is a good sniper, for a mortal. I have the same weakspots in my human form as any human, but honest to the lord... He shot my eye!"
"That would explain why you don't have a left eye... Now tell me, dragon... When do you plan to engage him."
Actions
>Now, you cannot let such a man go unchecked.
>Send your elite guard to take care of him.
>Send Claw to take care of him, along with your personal guard.
>Just send Claw to take care of him.
>Not now, the realm is too divided as we speak... Not to mention my marriage two days from now.
>Write-In
>>
>>226152
>Send Claw to take care of him, along with your personal guard.
>>
>>226152
>Send Claw to take care of him, along with your personal guard.
>>
>>226152
>>Send Claw to take care of him, along with your personal guard.
Honestly, claw would be best given his stealth capabilities and how he can use all his stuff in human form now
>>
>>226152
>>Not now, the realm is too divided as we speak... Not to mention my marriage two days from now.
I'll just have to stomach this uppity human.
>>
Y'know, if we told people we died this could be pretty good hype for us.

Be all: "My Holy Radiance cannot be killed! God wills it!" or some shit.
>>
>>226152
>Send Claw to take care of him, along with your personal guard.
>>
>>226166
Might be diminished by our missing eye and deathly pallor.
>>
>>226152
>Just send Claw to take care of him
Claw might be socially awkward, but he's a good fighter and very stealthy.
>>
"Send Claw, and my personal guard at once."
"Yes, my emperor."
Hans readies Claw and your men for emergency transportation via helicopter, to the last spot the White Death was spotted...
Switching PoV to Claw.

After what seems like hours of waiting, the helicopter lands in a large snowfield outside of Helenski. You have two avenues to approach where the White Death might be.
Actions
>Transform into wolf form and attempt to sneak below the snow drifts... (Agillity)
>Remain in human form and attempt to sneak up to the White Death. (Agillity, HARD)
Additionally, personal guard
>Draw the attention of the White Death!
>Stay down, only attack when ordered to.
>>
>>226184
>Remain in human form and attempt to sneak up to the White Death. (Agillity, HARD)
>Stay down, only attack when ordered to.
>>
>>226184
>>Transform into wolf form and attempt to sneak below the snow drifts... (Agillity)

>Stay down, only attack when ordered to.
>>
>>226184
>Transform into wolf form and attempt to sneak below the snow drifts... (Agillity)

>Stay down, only attack when ordered to.


I want him alive, as hard as that may be.
>>
>>226184
>Transform into wolf form and attempt to sneak below the snow drifts... (Agillity)
>Stay down, only attack when ordered to.
>>
>>226184
>>Transform into wolf form and attempt to sneak below the snow drifts... (Agillity)
>Stay down, only attack when ordered to.
I kinda want to try and recruit him, despite the whole "almost killing us" thing. He's clearly hype as FUCK.
>>
Whelp, roll me a 1d20+8 for sneakybeaky.
>>
Rolled 1 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>226198
>>
Rolled 2 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>226198
>in after 1
White Death STRONK
>>
>>226202
stop rolling
>>
Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>226198
goddamnit gimme the 20
>>
Rolled 7 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>226198
gotta keep rolling.
>>
Rolled 12 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>226202
...are you, by any chance, the anon that rolled all the ones last thread?
>>
Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>
>>226206
I'm so glad that wasn't me again.
>>
>>226214
I am the guy that got 4 1's in a row in the second thread.
>>
>>226208
STOP
>>
>>226214
If you click on his ID you can see his other posts. This is his third 1 this thread.
>>
>>226214
No, that was me. And I've been rolling well this thread.
>>
>>226217
As the guy who got 3 last thread, I know that feel.
>>226221
Wow, really? And I thought the dice hated me.
>>
>>226221
He also got us one of the 20s this turn though.
>>
Rolled 1 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>
File: Ben_Stiller_Bust.gif (4 KB, 194x269) Image search: [Google]
Ben_Stiller_Bust.gif
4 KB, 194x269
>>226237
It just doesn't fucking stop, does it. Shit. Okay Hayha, you win, Finland gets to be independent.
>>
File: facepalm.jpg (90 KB, 1440x1080) Image search: [Google]
facepalm.jpg
90 KB, 1440x1080
>>226237
Let's hope QM is too busy posting to notice this one in time.
>>
>>226202
1+8=9
Critical Failure!
>>226237
>>226237
1+8=9
Double Critical Failure!
To avoid last time's death spiral, I'ma just cut to the chase this time.

You sneak up to where you think the White Death is... A small snow pile. You smash the shit out of it. You shift back into human form to further investigate the snow pile you ruined... Just to be sure.
Then you get clubbed in the fucking face. Goddamn it!

You awake in a cave, with the White Death looking towards you, holding a rifle. He says a sentence to you. You attempt to struggle, but your trapped in a set of bindings.
"Who are you?"
WHAT IS WITH YOU BEING CLUBBED IN THE FUCKING FACE!

Actions
>Answer his question...
>Attempt to lie! (Charisma)
>Oh shit, transform into wolf form and attempt to break the bindings!
>>
>>226249
>>Oh shit, transform into wolf form and attempt to break the bindings!
>>
>>226249
>>Answer his question...
Claw is shit at charisma.
>>
>>226249
>>Answer his question...
I think we've learned our lesson by now. DO NOT FUCK WITH THIS MAN!
>>
>>226260
Literally? Or figuratively?
This is important information to Renexizious.
>>
File: image.png (357 KB, 496x374) Image search: [Google]
image.png
357 KB, 496x374
>>226249
>Oh shit, transform into wolf form and attempt to break the bindings!

>Post YFW claw is going to have to be be necromanced
>>
>>226249
>Answer his question...
Screw it, this is how we recruited those enemy wolves.
>>
Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>226249
>Answer his question...
Ignore this roll
>>
>>226249
>Oh shit, transform into wolf form and attempt to break the bindings!
Lets just kill this guy, at this point he's reached demigod level of annoyimg
>>
>>226266
You keep rolling, against all logic. Why?
>>
>>226266
stop fucking rolling
>>
Looks like Answer Question wins.
Writing.
>>
>>226261
Well, we haven't tried literally yet, but I'm not sure if we dare to try.
>>
"I'm... Uh... Claws." you say towards the floor.
"Claws?"
"Yes?"
"Interesting... I know you are a behemoth." He lowers the rifle slightly...
"How do you know that?"
"I'm not going to answer that."
Actions
>Attempt to weasel the information out of him. (Diplomacy)
>Accept that he's probably not going to answer.
>Ask him why he took you prisoner instead of killing you.
>Write-In
>>
>>226296
>>Attempt to weasel the information out of him. (Diplomacy)
we really need to kill this umbitch but first lets find stuff out
>>
>>226296
>>Attempt to weasel the information out of him. (Diplomacy)
Was it the wolf form? I bet it was the wolf form.
>>
>>226296
>>Attempt to weasel the information out of him. (Diplomacy)
>"Aw, come oooooooooooon"
>"Pleeeeease?"
>>
>>226296
>Attempt to weasel the information out of him. (Diplomacy)
>>
Roll me a 1d20+4 for this.
>>
>>226296
>Attempt to weasel the information out of him. (Diplomacy)
>>
Rolled 4 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>226311
>>
Rolled 14 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>226311
>>
Rolled 20 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>226311
>>
Rolled 12 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>226311
>>
>>226323
It seems claw is becoming less of a spaghettimancer
>>
File: 1459895753761.jpg (309 KB, 672x505) Image search: [Google]
1459895753761.jpg
309 KB, 672x505
>>226323
nat 20
IT'S HAPPENING!
>>
>>226323
I guess not rolling was the best idea.
>>
>>226323
Claw, you magnificent bastard.
>>226333
Your restraint has been noted fellow unfortunate anon, I salute you.
>>
>inb4 we can recruit the white death.
>inb4 Claw successfully recruits all our enemies by threatening to have Ren rape them

>Claw comes back
>White Death is with him
>Ren: "Ah, so you managed to captu-"
>WD: "OH GOD PLEASE NO"
>Ren: "...what?"
>WD: "I DON"T CONSEEEEEEENT"
>Ren: "...goddamnit Claw"

>>226333
Just roll now. I mean, what could possibly go wrong?
>>
>>226353
Unlikely, but hilarious.
>>
Rolled 499 (1d1000)

>>226353
Everything could go wrong.
>>
>>226323
20+4=24
Critical Success!

You have come up with a diabolical idea... You give him puppy eyes. An ancient art amongst your people.
He looks at you... And he is visibly shaking. You can smell the fear, the sweat, and the will of this man breaking...
Actions
>Transform into wolf form to utterly destroy this man's resistance to not pet a doggo.
>Go for what worked with the village... Rape threats from Renexizious?
>Why not both? What's the worst that could happen?
>Write-In
anons I have no words anymore
>>
>>226353
our enemies will cower in fear at the prospect of fighting our magnificent dragon sausage
>>226364
>Why not both? What's the worst that could happen?
>>
>>226364
>>Why not both? What's the worst that could happen?
We got this, guys.
Thread replies: 255
Thread images: 19

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