You Can't Flim flam the Zim Zam
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Stand your ground, kill a Dindu and win your day in court!
You are about to go out on your neighborhood watch duty and you need to chose what to bring with to protect you. Entire game played with 25 sided dice
you own
A Hipoint c9 (GLAWK FOWTY) stealth holstered 24 upholstered 18, reliability 13, stopping power 19. capacity 8
Glock 19 Stealth holstered 24 upholstered 19 ,reliability 24, stopping power 19, capacity 15
ar 15 stealth 5 reliabilty 23 stopping power 24 capacity 30
>>15405
Chose your weapon
Glock
>>15409
Kahr Arms Niggerwacker chambered in .50 African Eliminator
>>15405
Equip GLOCK 19. Call your bros MOONMAN, KAZUHIRA MILLER, and ZYKLON BEN and invite them to empty your nines on the welfare lines.
>>15413
you grab the glock and get ready to head out the door.do you leave it out or too you holster it and hide it?
>>15449
Brandish that motherfucker like the proud WHITE man that I am.
>>15449
Holster your gun.
But unholster your dick.
It's night time so there's time to let it breathe.
>>15449
OPEN CARRY THAT SHIT FUCK THE HATERS
>>15455
you yell "THE SECOND AMENDMENT IS MY GUN PERMIT I DO WHAT I WANT" and walk out the door gat in hand
Time to patrol the neighbor hood. do you patrol the left side or the right side?
The left side has low amount of police around so you just have to roll over a 6 to not run into police but there is also no mini mart so you need to role over a 16 to run into a dindu. (Two rolls first for police than for dindu)
the right side has more police around due to high dindu activity roll over a 13 to not run into police. the mini mart attracts dindus you only need to roll over 6 to run into a dindu (Two rolls first for police than for dindu)
>>15545
correction hold on!
>>15550
nvm all is good
>>15561
You encounter the police!
"DROP THE GUN NOW"
What do you do?
If you shoot him, roll over a 20 to hit and then roll over after that to make it a lethal hit (based on your stopping power)
You could also Drop the gun on the ground
Not drop the gun and not fire. Roll over a 5 or the police will try to dindu you
>>15607
Roll over a 6 to make it a lethal hit
sorry messed that up
Rolled 7 (1d20)
>>15607
Oh fug a dindu cop. This is my worst nightmare, shoot, shoot, shoot!
>>15632
You missed! The cop Is reaching for his gun! you have one more action before the cop fires back.
do you fire again? roll over 15 to hit over 6 to make it a lethal hit.
do you try to run away? roll over 20 to get away with out a trace.
or do you try to HANDS UP DON'T SHOOT I DINDUNUFFIN roll over a 15 to not get dindud
>>15632
also this is with a 25 sided dice you retard you just fucked yourself
Rolled 23 (1d25)
>>15675
Shoot again
Rolled 11 (1d25)
>>15680
fuck, shoot
>>15685
wew lad
>>15685
IT IS A HIT! but was it a lethal hit? (1d25)
>>15704
fug my brain no work
dice+1d25
Rolled 17 (1d20)
>>15704
I don't fucking miss when killing niggers.
Rolled 15 (1d25)
>>15714
I am 100% retard
Fuck, I am an idiot too. Oh well, still hit.
>>15720
Is lethal hit!
you now have a dead cop by his patrol car (car not running)
What do you do next?
>>15731
Take his weapon, drag his corpse into the bushes, go to the other side of the road.
>>15731
>Yell "HELP, AN AFRICAN TRIED TO KILL ME!"
Rolled 7, 4 = 11 (2d25)
>>15743
You take the body into the bushes put the officers glock 19 into your bag and head onto the other side of the neighborhood leaving the car in the middle of the road
the right side has more police around due to high dindu activity roll over a 13 to not run into police. the mini mart attracts dindus you only need to roll over 6 to run into a dindu (Two rolls first for police than for dindu)
>>15731
try and clean up the scene so no more cops come by
Rolled 23 (1d25)
>>15787
First, take the cop's gun out of my bag and dual wield that bitch.
>>15787
whoops you have run into the police again! this time you have a little more time since you spot him first.
do you holster your gun?(Use holstered stat)
try to hide your gun by hiding it behind your back? (use upholstered stat)
Try to sneak back to the other side of the road with out the police noticing you. Roll over 15 to do this with out being noticed
Rolled 10 (1d25)
>>15828
You holster your weapon but fail to get away with out being noticed the police approaches you. you have to roll over 1 for the cop not to see your holstered gun
>>15836
Wew lad, good roll.
"Good evening, isn't it officer?"
>>15851
>>15836
Police "Im responding to shots fired, have you seen anything?"
What do you say?
>>15859
"Well, I did see a young African-American lad having a stroll on the other side of the street, but surely such a youth wouldn't be in possession of a firearm. Perhaps it was only fireworks. Boys will be boys!"
Rolled 23 (1d25)
>>15872
That was suspicious as hell roll over 20 for the cop to buy your story
>>15885
Kek, what a retarded cop.
>>15885
shit you got lucky the cop turned out to be very very very stupid
"I bet your right I think im going to call it a night "
the cop goes away with out checking the other side of the street
now what do you do?
stay here and roll for a chance at seeing a dindu? Must roll over a 6
head to the other side of the street and roll for police than dindu over there?
or something completely different?
Rolled 9 (1d25)
>>15912
We're not giving up on bagging a dindu just yet. Stay on this side and patrol.
>>15926
Dindu spoted ahead!
He looks fresh from the mini mart!. What is our course of action? he looks mostly harmless right now since he has his dindu food already and doesn't need to rob you so he can buy some. must be the first of the month again
Rolled 25, 24 = 49 (2d25)
>>15962
shoot shoot shoot
(with both guns)
Rolled 25 (1d25)
>>15962
open fire
>>15974
shit I didn't even tell you to roll but with rolls like that you have to win
ULTRA CRIT
You pull out both gats and fire them both three times. all the shots hit the dindu in the head killing him right away.
What should we try to do now?
>>16009
Take the skittles.
>>16019
You put the skittles in bag
now what?
>>16009
Plant the cop's gun on him. We don't want to have to defend that one in court. Take the ammo out though in case we need it. The night is still young and there are lots of browns to mow down.
>>16038
Go see a good movie
>>16025
it has six holes in it but is mostly intact
>>16043
You place the cops gun with 12 rounds still in into the dindu's skittles hand
Holy shit guys this is going pretty well
>>16062
now what do we do? This could be wrapped up pretty cleanly now guys
>>16062
Great. Now go to the cinema
>>16062
sorry my bad You take out all the ammo from the chamber and the mag and then put the emtpy mag and gun into the dindu's hand. you put 12 rounds in bag
>>16069
Go to bed and wait for the morning. I want to see the news report.
Or to a movie, idgaf.
>>16070
It is too far to walk
>>16082
Aww. Woyld be nice to check a movie after all that. Well. Go to bed I guess
>>16062
Let's go to the minimart. Probably some spic or chink behind the counter in need of a good cleansing too.
>>16082
>>16075
>>16074
>>16069
>>16062
This seems to be a big part so I am putting it to a vote. first too 3 wins.
say 1 for go home get in car and go to cinema
say 2 for go home and call the police
say 3 for go home go to bed
say 4 for stay out and look for dindus
also should we holster out gat? just first person gets that one
>>16104
1. Its a nice quest btw
>>16104
3, or 1 if no one else votes for that idea.
>>16118
that is a vote for 3
>>16123
Well I lost anyway, but lets go to the theater unholstered to see what happens.
>>16134
gun will be in unholstered state until someone tells me to holster it
>>16134
Get the AR.
>>16134
take the AR-15
>>16134
Put on some blackface so you can blend in with the dindus
>>16142
Hide weapon
>>16143
you grab the AR leave the glock behindand head to catch a movie. do you put the ar in the trunk or in the passenger seat?also you speed every where you go so you have to roll over a 11 to not get pulled over by the police
Rolled 12 (1d25)
>>16172
Fuck it! Put that AR in the seat and take off.
>>16181
you made it to the theater and are sitting in the parking lot AR next to you. now what?
dice+1d25
Gun in trunk.
Take out cell phone and see what movies are showing
>>16186
Hide the gun in your pants and go buy a ticket.
>>16193
you try to fit the AR 15 in your pants but your massive penis gets in the way
>>16206
Cut out massive penis and replace it with gun.
>>16206
Let it hang out
Put ar 15 in pants
After all, the only people out at this time are niggers
>>16206
Fuck it then, just walk in with it then.
>>16210
you sever your penis and hide the gun in your pants. This does lead to blood loss! If you roll a 1 at anytime before stopping the bleeding you will slip into shock!
>>16227
What now guys?
Rolled 22 (1d25)
>>16227
Go into the theatre without paying because you don't support the jews
>>16227
Perfect. Now go buy a ticket.
Anyone wants to see zootopia? Maybe we can kill baby dindus
>>16240
you enter the theater but it turns out they don't charge you to stand in the lobby. no need to stick it to the jews
>>16258
Kids show
>>16258
Buy some candy and popcorn to lure some baby dindus into the bathroom
>>16244
you buy one ticket to zootopia. it starts in 5 minutes
you guys do know the goal is to get away with killing a dindu?
>>16258
>>16262
>>16244
Lets go see zootopia.
>>16268
Oh right, don't get caught. Use our skittles to lure black kids into the bathroom then.
>>16268
>you guys do know the goal is to get away with killing a dindu?
Yea but there is always place for some style points.
Go take a seat
>>16271
You sit and watch the movie it is about 2/3 the way over now
>>16285
Take a look at the crowds. What's the racial makeup?
>>16285
Stand up and yell 'allahu ackbar' and start shooting everyone.
Rolled 8 (1d25)
>>16285
blood loss roll
>>16292
seems to be mostly little white kids It is fucking zootopia what did you expect
>>16285
Lure children.
>>16301
Fug, sit it out then. Then try to find some black kids.
>>16294
Kekd
Instead yell "WHY ISN'T THE FOX REAL" and reee while shooting.
>>16305
You watch the entire movie with out doing anything. you leave and are now in the lobby. now what guys?
>>16301
A nice movie to enjoy? What else??
>>16312
Try a horror movie. Nigs love to talk during horror movies.
Rolled 24 (1d25)
blood loss roll
We just watched Zootopia for the heck of it after killing a nigger.
Wew lad
>>16318
Ask manager for first aid kit.
>>16315
This I guess.
Also, start shooting while there is a horror scene so people will expect screams
>>16325
See you tomorrow, brOP. Love this.
>>16325
Tomorrow then
>>16325
Seeya
>>16320
4chan is great
okay so for my first action when I start back Im gonna leave it up to vote first 8 or who ever has the most votes will win
1 Watch zootopia again
2 ask manager for first aid
3 watch a horror movie
4 head on home
5 call the police
6 go to the bathroom
Guys we have to get away with killing dindus!!!! we can't just go mass shooter in a place with security cameras! . I have an entire part planed out if we end up in court
>>16325
You're pretty good.
>>16351
2. Stop bleeding is top priority, then we can lure children to bathroom.
Goodnight.
Rolled 17 (1d25)
>>16351
oh and before I head to bed roll for blood loss
>>16351
>Watch zootopia again
Kek.
Lets go with 2
>>16351
2.
Also, have Phoenix Wright on speed dial.
>>16351
2, then merge the AR to be part dick, part gun, fully loaded
>>18448
Hello sir, my son hurt himself in the bathroom, do you have a first aid kit so I can help him? I am a doctor, I just need a first aid kit
Rolled 5 (1d25)
>>18546
umm that is slightly suspicions wow you 4chan fags can't talk to people.
roll over 9 for him to buy your story
>>18636
Shit. Well, what is he going to do?
>>18636
shit turns out he is a fucking nazi asshole "NO FIRST AID KIT FOR YOU"
"YOU ARE NOT MASTER RACE! WHY WOULD I GIVE YOU FIRST AID KIT"
>>18671
Why the fuck are we not master race?
dice+1d25
Rolling for the heck of it.
Tell him you are ubermensh and that a jew hurted you. It would be nice if a fellow nationalist socialist helped you combat the real enemy.
Rolled 21 (1d25)
>>18710
In the email field, retard.
Also, well played.
Rolled 11 (1d25)
>>18710
convincing argument for a nazi. roll over 4 to pass
Rolled 1 (1d2)
>>20009
you have acquired the first aid kit. now what?
>>20028
fix my penis
>>20049
your penis is not attached, you cut it off in the parking lot.
>>20056
just try to stop the bleeding
>>20067
The first aid kit has rubbing alcohol, band aids gauze, scissors, tape and tweezers.
what do you do?
>>20084
I guess we should walk into the bathroom or somewhere not in the middle of the lobby to patch up our penis.
Once were there, put a bunch of gauze over where my penis used to be, then tape the gauze in place.
Also drink some rubbing alcohol because fuck it
>>20114
you walk into the bathroom and pack the wound with gauze to stop the bleeding. this is rather effective roll over 4 to succeed
2nd roll
But drinking the rubbing alcohol was a bad choice roll over 19 not to puke and over 4 to not pass out
>>20114
>drinking rubbing alcohol
Rolled 11, 5 = 16 (2d25)
>>20150
forgot rolls
>>20150
>>20158
you fix the wound up and are no longer bleeding. no more blood loss roles but if you role a 1 at any time the wound will start bleeding again until it is fixed.
you for some reason drink the rubbing alcohol and puke. it gets on your shirt and all over the floor.
I put the first aid kit in our bag
what now guys?
>>20214
Wash my shirt with water and rubbing alcohol.
Rolled 20 (1d25)
>>20436
how could this go wrong? you was your shirt just roll over 1 not to fuck up
>>20451
you now have a clean but wet shirt in your hand
>>20461
>>20451
taking a break since you guys are being slow right now, so leaving the next option up to a vote first to 4 or whatever has the most votes if nothing gets to 4 also please roll 3 times (dice+3d25) and say if you want to put the shirt on or leave it off. highest roll will get to decide that
1 get in the car and get ready to go home
2 watch more zootopia
3 go to the lobby
4 call the police
5 watch a horror movie
6 stay in the bathroom and clean up the vomit
>>20915
>>20536
Guess we are watching a a horror movie.
what do we buy tickets too?
SHIT NIGGER LOOK BHEIND YOU 7.. roll and evey number = 1 dindu watching that movie
Shity camera work indy project 3. roll and the rumber devided by three = how many dindus are watching that movie (I will round down)
Halloween part 545 roll and the number devided by 2 will = how many dindus are watching that movie
also shirt on or off?
>>21819
Guys don't forgot you have to win your day in court to complete your quest
>>21839
Are we even going to go to court about the nigger we killed? We left a dead cop and the cop's gun in his hands.
Although maybe it's suspicious that he got shot 6 times after stealing the gun... and that dumb officer did see us, but never got our id.
Anyway, lets go shoot up BLACULA. How about we sit in the back, then start shooting part way through the movie, then hide the gun and run out pretending to be innocent?
Rolled 13 (1d25)
>>22087
fucked up the roll
Rolled 23 (1d25)
>>22087
The dumb officer was pretty stupid so Im betting unless we get shity rolls all the way through the court case we will be good to fight that charge if we get unlucky enough to even get charged with that one.
so anyway off to the nigger film rolling for # of dindus
>>22129
Are there scissors or scalpels in the first aid kit?
>>22129
>>22101
Im taking your roll since it was posted first 13 out of the 25 people there are dindus
>>22230
the lights are off and the movie is playing.
>>22087
Im not letting someone take that many steps at once
Rolled 17 (1d25)
>>22241
Cover my face with gauze, yell allahu akbar and shoot all the black people.
>>22267
woah woah woah not so fast.
you cover your face with gauze (you are now out of guaze) you draw the gun from your pants and yell allahu akbar and get ready to shoot!
You only have 30 rounds. call your shot and you have to roll over 7 to hit than over 1 to kill ( 2 rolls) if you ever roll a 2 or a 1 your gun jams. Call your shot and give me 2 rolls!!
If I do not have your target numbered just do your best to describe it to me
>>22329
revised picture
Rolled 17, 15 = 32 (2d25)
>>22363
lets start with #2. He's not too close to any white people, so we'll probably just end up hitting another nig if we miss
>>22381
HIT AND KILL! white x means dead purple circle means they escaped. remember this is NOT a suicide mission we need to make it out guys
Rolled 24, 22 = 46 (2d25)
>>22414
11
I kill the prince of Nigeria with job applications
>>22435
CRITICAL AIM! Take another free shot!
Rolled 20, 6 = 26 (2d25)
>>22521
1
>>22552
>>22521
>>22435
Nice shooting.
don't forgot to make our escape and stay undetected
Rolled 20, 22 = 42 (2d25)
>>22583
10
Rolled 23, 5 = 28 (2d25)
>>22583
10
Rolled 2, 20 = 22 (2d25)
>>22677
I assume everyone is running for the door and not looking in our direction.
If so, lets shoot the white guy on the far left (right next to nig #3), then take the gauze off our face and put it on him
>>22772
MISS!
>>22807
doesn't the gun jam from the 2?
>>22807
oh and gun jams since you rolled a 2! what is your course of action to unjam the gun?
>>22834
Smash it against the head of the closest person.
Rolled 18, 22, 5 = 45 (3d25)
>>22876
oh boy not smart! this is an ar 15. you butt stroke dindu 3
roll 1 is to see if it kills him you must roll over a 10
roll 2 is to see if you break your buffer tube DO NOT BUTTSTROKE PEOPLE WITH AR 15s guys the buffer tube is a weak point. must roll over 20 to not damge the rifle to where it is no longer smi auto if you roll under 5 the gun is 100% toast
last role asuming you did not break the gun is to see if it clears the jam must roll over a 10
>>22951
okay gun is not damaged and the dindu is dead but the gun is still jamed.
THINK FAST GUYS!
>>22969
I'm not sure what the proper way to unjam a gun is. Try turning it off and back on again?
>>23036
do you even BLAT BLAT BLAT?
>>23036
You can't turn a gat off try again
>>22969
Fuck it, lets just get out of here. Slip out the back and find a way to our car.
>>23178
are you sure about that. We still have the gun out in the open and our face is wrapped up
>>23285
Clean fingerprints from the grip and throw the gun at a random member of the audience.
>>23298
It probably also has our blood on it from being down our pants after cutting off our penis. We should clean that off with the rubbing alcohol
Rolled 15 (1d25)
>>23298
you wipe the gun off and throw it at the white guy on the far left. 20-25crit 5-19 success 0-4 fail
>>23334
the white guy now is armed and isn't retarded he drops the mag racks the bolt, re seats the mag and is firing at you! you can see he is about to take a shot at you! everyone else has escaped the theater and only the two of you are left
What do you do?
>>23366
SHEEEEEEIT
>>23366
how close are we to him? We just meleed nig #3, so we're probably in melee range of this white guy was well.
Let's take out our scissors and try to stab him in the neck
Rolled 25 (1d25)
>>23397
yikes that is long shot but I guess worth a try
over 18 to stab him, under 10 we get shot. in between he misses but also doges the stab
>>23366
Throw skittles at him.
>>23478
Squirt rubbing alcohol into his eyes and run away.
>>23478
FUCKING CLUTCH CRIT! YOU CANT FLIM FLAM THE ZIM ZAM!
he fires the shot and it grazes by your head. you take the scissors and throw them like a ninja star. it cuts his head clean off. the blood splatter is so great you are now covered head to toe in blood
>>23544
take the gauze off our head and put it on his head
>>23586
done
removed the kill markers,
>>23632
call the police and tell them that someone tried to shoot up the theater, but we stopped them
>>23660
right here right now? but you don't have a cell phone
>>23681
Oh, run out of the theater to wherever the rest of the escaped people ran, and hang with them until the cops show up.
I think we've covered our tracks pretty well, gotta just act normal now.
>>23681
We made friends with the manager, let's go ask him!
>>23735
this
>>23735
everything goes smooth you run out of the theater and join everyone in the parking lot. most the people from outside of the theater are there. the police are about to show up rolling for how much of or hard ass the cop is. 0-6 retard cop 7-18 normal cop 19-25 gestapo
Rolled 8 (1d25)
>>23947
forgot pic and roll
Rolled 1 (1d25)
>>23947
gestapo pls
>>23962
police arrive and storm the building and surround the area. no one is getting away with out being seen now. after a little bit a normal cop comes up to you
"I see you are covered in blood, are you hurt?"
>>24013
I lost my penis
>>24013
"Yes, the madman shot my penis off!"
>>24028
"we recovered a penis in the parking lot, what happened to you? paramedics are on the way just stay calm"
>Now here I was, just minding my own business watching Blacula
>I noticed a man towards the back of the theater stand up
>Gunshots suddenly started echoing through the theater
>Gauze was covering the man's face so I couldn't get a good look at him
>Everybody panicked and started running towards the exit
>Reaching for my gun, I was dismayed to realize that I hadn't brought my glock with me
>So I started running for the exit with everyone else
>Then the shooting stopped
>Out of curiosity, I looked back at the shooter
>Not realizing I was looking at him, he was trying to clear a jam in his gun
>Great, now's my chance
>Usually I have a gun with my, but all I had today were some scissors
>Early in my childhood, I was obsessed with throwing ninja stars, and got quite good at it
>My memories of that returned, and I threw the scissors at the shooter
>Yes! they hit
>And cut his head clean off!
>Now I was safe
>Unsure what to do next, I came out here with everyone else
>So now all that's left is to read the first letter of each line
>>24056
"The absolute madman began firing into the crowd! I tried to be a hero and tackle him, but he used his bayonet to cut my dick off!"
>>24116
"I grabbed my fallen penis and ran away, but in the commotion I must have dropped it"
Rolled 7 (1d25)
>>24095
10/10 police stateman man
The officer writes it all down.
even number roll he asks about the penis odd number roll he says "I understand you don't want to talk about it"
>>24163
Can I go back and finish watching the film now?
Rolled 10 (1d25)
>>24163
okay awesome job guys!!! I think we are going to get away with it!
You are sent to hospital and the stitch up your penis hole thing.
next day later you are brought into the police department for questioning. rolling for what kind of cop we get same rules as last time
>>24211
sorry guys comp crashed im back now
>>24302
>>24211
okay so do we call a lawyer before getting started or should we wait to get a lawyer?
>>24346
Self-representation
>>24403
okay we chose not to call a lawyer yet, we can always do that later anyway.
"Mr Zim Zam please tell us where you were last night"
>>24432
At the theater
>>24432
The cinema.
>>24432
I was watching Blacula after a brief stop to get some skittles.
>>24490
Well, after the shooting I was taken to the hospital. But I assumed you were asking about the shooting
Rolled 17 (1d25)
>>24509
roll over 15 for him to buy your lie
>>24516
he buys your lie
"so you were at home before going to the movies?"
>>24528
No, I was in my car driving to the theatre.
>>24528
Yes
Rolled 11 (1d25)
>>24540
roll over a 17 for him to not get pissed off at you being a smart ass
>>24564
>>24564
"You know what I am talking about you fuck wit! There was a massacre at that theater and Two people shot and killed near your home. This doesn;t look good for you ya fucking nutjob.
>>24594
I plead the 5th
Rolled 18 (1d25)
>>24621
roll over a 22 for him to be stumped by that and put you in a holding cell till bond hearing otherwise integration goes on
Rolled 13 (1d25)
>>24594
Shouldn't you be out looking for the gang that did it then?
>>24594
"Blow me cocksucker. You're nothing but and agent of ZOG!"
>>24651
You didn't stump him.
"will you try to explain to me why we found a rifle that was purchased by you 5 years ago at the theater?"
>>24674
"It was stolen years ago by some nigger."
>>24674
I plead the 2nd 5 years ago.
>>24674
I lost it in a tragic boating accident
that madman must've fished it out of the lake
Rolled 22 (1d25)
>>24689
roll over a 15 to stump him
>>24716
STUMPED
"I uhhh ummmm uhhh Bond hearing is in the morning"
you are taken back to your cell
>>24738
Ask for a phone call.
>>24738
Say to random passers-by: "Pssst, I know who you are. Heil Hitler."
>>24751
You are granted your phone call, who do you call?
>>24738
fake a suicide attempt
>>24762
Local new: "Innocent white man has been arrested..."
>>24762
Obama
>>24762
OJ's lawyer.
Rolled 22 (1d25)
>>24776
even you get a white man odd you get a dindunuffin news man
>>24797
Ohhh yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
>>24797
you get whity! you might have a chance! role over 10 to get him to support you!
Rolled 21 (1d25)
>>24825
Sieg heil!
Rolled 16 (1d25)
>>24825
forgot role
>>24838
He picks up the story and protesters surround the court house! this could work to your advantage!
do we do anything while waiting in our cell or do we just wait till morning?
>>24861
check on our dick stump
>>24861
Shit our pants, maybe we can get an infection and get sympathy.
>>24899
Throw shit at guards, then rape cell mate.
>>24899
didn't do anything but now you are covered in shit
>>24931
Sleep.
Rolled 24 (1d25)
>>24916
no cell mate but lets fling poo. over 23 it kills the guard
>>24931
Throw shit at guards, then rape cell mate.
>>24931
shout puns
Rolled 24 (1d25)
>>24944
Critical! but now the police are angry roll under 7 and they come in to beat your ass
>>24944
oops
>>24969
Now masturbate and go to sleep.
>>24969
CRITS FOR DAYS Two police come in leaving the door open but slip on the poop and die as their heads bounce off the hard floor
>>25012
Take weapons and make a break for it!
>>25012
blame it on a nearby dindu
>>25012
Take their weapons, go outside and declare total war against the dindus and the Jewish government, hope right-wing idiots bite the bait and support you in a revolution against the government.
>>25044
both officers had one glock 19 on them you grab them both each is loaded with 15 rounds. you dual wield the mother fuckers and run down the hall. a officer sees you yells stop and starts to draw his gun. what do we do?
Rolled 15, 23, 17, 6, 12, 14, 25 = 112 (7d25)
>>25106
Open fire!
Rolled 7, 9 = 16 (2d25)
>>25134
slow down there I didn't even give you the odds! roll over 15 to hit and then once again over 6 to kill. so firing one shot
Rolled 23, 24 = 47 (2d25)
>>25200
you miss and the officer fires at you, he has the same odds as you
>>25213
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2c4hnA8jXwo&t=0m13
you got critted you are shot in the head and your head explodes
well I guess the luck had to run out. good try guys. we made it pretty far all things considered.
>>25231
Noo! Give us a roll to see if it was a dindu or not!
Rolled 21 (1d25)
>>25302
you guys took a lot of risks you were luck yo make it this far even number a dindu killed you odd number it was whitey
>>25325
Ah, well, at least a white man sent us to Heaven where we can face God's justice. So what what was the story the police pieced together?
>>25379
A white male shot an officer and a civilian before traveling to a movie theater. There, he opened fire, killing several movie goers. He was brought to the hospital and then taken into custody, however he tried to escape and killed 3 officers before being shot.
Since he was white, it wasn't terrorism. He probably just had a mental illness.
>>25441
he cut his dick off it was mental illness 100%
>>25568
Thanks OP. I wasn't here for the adventure but you did a good job. The adventurers were pretty fucking stupid, its too bad we didn't get to go to court. I look forward to more quests from you!
>>30144
was so sad we didn't maker it to court. made a slide for them to chose between matlock,phoenix wright. and perry mason
>>32455
I had fun. Maybe you can do it sometime in the future.
Holy shit that was fucking hilarious
