KANT-O-CELLE QUEST: A YELLOW SUBMARINE, A YELLOW SUBMARINE
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“ETA?”
“Four-point-six-ee minus nine,” Wei answers.
You lift your eyes from the plotting screen to glance at your XO without raising your head. He returns your look with a happy, contented smile, the very image of a competent, eager-to-please officer.
You clear your throat, and pick your words carefully. “The actual fuck?”
He gives you an innocent look. “You don't know scientific notation?”
You do, in fact, know scientific notation. What is lacking at this juncture is a single rusty fuck to give for your XO's antics. “Notating what?”
“The heat death of the Sun,” he illustrates. “About four-point-six billion years. Roughly.”
You let your head dangle limply, leaning your weight on the old map table where your tablet computer is resting. “That bad?”
“It is,” he confirms. “Six hours at twelve knots, any way you dice it. Any faster and we're cavitating. May as well-”
“-blow an air-horn in an auditorium,” you sigh. “Yeah. And if we go deep-”
“Electrics last a little over an hour,” he says, “at flank.”
“And the combination-”
He taps his own tablet once, then hands it over to you for perusal. You glower at the faint glow of the LCD as you flick through several course profiles, combination shallow-snorkling with deep running on electrics, and either one has you several hours behind schedule, or lighting up every hydrophone in ten miles.
“Damn them to hell,” you mutter.
“Well, there is one option,” Wei says innocently.
You slide a sidelong squint at him, knowing what's coming, but curious despite yourself.
“We could surface and rig a sail-” He dances away as you swipe at him with the flat side of your tablet. “Go find something to sweep, you jackass.”
“Aye, Cap'n Ying!” he declares, snapping you a crisp, overdone salute to put any overzealous chick fresh out of OCS to shame. He spins on his heel and stork-walks out of the control room.
You sigh, rubbing your eyes, but smiling despite yourself. You envy Wei's sense of humor, or rather, its durability. It's a vital quality for anyone on a Ming G boat. They're old tubs, and not well built to begin with - number 361 killed her own crew. Your crew stays suspicious of their own boat, day in and out, eyeballing every rust spot and jittery gauge with a cautious eye. And it's all for nothing, or close to it - the Mings (and their skippers) are called “speed bumps” on the newer boats, and everyone knows it's true.
Or was.
But even if you score merit in this old tug, you'll still have to navigate Party politics, and right now you'd as soon torpedo the damned tender as meet it - because The Party wants you north of Sunda Straight to meet it in exactly four hours, and they want you to do it without notifying AESAN, or tipping your hand to them. The former rather mandates the latter, as they won't be shy about dumping depth charges on anything making noise underwater.
And Mings are noisy.
You kick the base of the periscope mast gently, grumbling to yourself. Wei's crack about rigging a sail is sounding better and better.
[ ] It's foggy as hell out there. Run on the surface, run as loud as you want, and simulate some radio traffic like you're a fishing boat or a merchant. Shave some time off the transit.
[ ] Just stick with the snorkel, and run just under cavitation speed. You'll probably be heard in the shallows anyways, and the sooner you surface to fire recognition flares, the sooner the AESAN patrols will take their fingers off the trigger.
[ ] Half is better than nothing. Run slow to avoid detection. The damn tender can wait.
INB4 EVERYONE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4uWbhTXTHg
>>130397
>It's foggy as hell out there. Run on the surface, run as loud as you want, and simulate some radio traffic like you're a fishing boat or a merchant. Shave some time off the transit.
>>130397
>[ ] Just stick with the snorkel, and run just under cavitation speed. You'll probably be heard in the shallows anyways, and the sooner you surface to fire recognition flares, the sooner the AESAN patrols will take their fingers off the trigger.
>>130397
>[ ] It's foggy as hell out there. Run on the surface, run as loud as you want, and simulate some radio traffic like you're a fishing boat or a merchant. Shave some time off the transit.
Disguises! Cleverness! Our ancestors may be slightly less angry with us!
Okay, I'm not sure what's going on due to the timeskip, or are we playing a Chinese ossifer this time around
>Just stick with the snorkel.
Besides if the abyssals in the area are half as competent as they usually are, running silent in this piece of crap wont do much, and we'd have a higher risk of getting torpedoed/depth charged by human ships or "hulls" anyways because they're paranoid and detecting a sonar contact would just freak them out.
Did I miss anything over the last two weeks?
>>130397
>their fingers off the trigger.
>[ ] Half is better than nothing. Run slow to avoid detection. The damn tender can wait.
Hah, where are these Chinks patrolling?
>>130397
>[ ] It's foggy as hell out there. Run on the surface, run as loud as you want, and simulate some radio traffic like you're a fishing boat or a merchant. Shave some time off the transit.
no clue what the fuck is going on
>>130465
>Hah, where are these Chinks patrolling?
Trying to Sneaky Beaky their way to the last battle area.
>>130397
[ ] Just stick with the snorkel, and run just under cavitation speed. You'll probably be heard in the shallows anyways, and the sooner you surface to fire recognition flares, the sooner the AESAN patrols will take their fingers off the trigger.
>>130397
>[X] Just stick with the snorkel, and run just under cavitation speed. You'll probably be heard in the shallows anyways, and the sooner you surface to fire recognition flares, the sooner the AESAN patrols will take their fingers off the trigger.
>>130397
>[ ] It's foggy as hell out there. Run on the surface, run as loud as you want, and simulate some radio traffic like you're a fishing boat or a merchant. Shave some time off the transit.
I wonder if the Chinese are trying to seize the spratlys while everyone's occupied?
>>130397
>[ ] It's foggy as hell out there. Run on the surface, run as loud as you want, and simulate some radio traffic like you're a fishing boat or a merchant. Shave some time off the transit.
Bonus points for rigging fake navigation/identification lights on the periscope shears a la Down Periscope. ASEAN sonar would probably be able to tell you're not really what you're pretending to be, but it's Close Enough for them to ignore it, and I get the feeling that the timing is kind of crucial here.
>>130397
[ ] Half is better than nothing. Run slow to avoid detection. The damn tender can wait.
>>130475
>Sunda
Ah, so there were. Motherfuckers.
>>130397
>[ ] It's foggy as hell out there. Run on the surface, run as loud as you want, and simulate some radio traffic like you're a fishing boat or a merchant. Shave some time off the transit.
SUMMON PIRATE KELSEY GRAMMAR
So what did we decide to do about Petropavlovsk?
>>130397
>[ ] Just stick with the snorkel, and run just under cavitation speed. You'll probably be heard in the shallows anyways, and the sooner you surface to fire recognition flares, the sooner the AESAN patrols will take their fingers off the trigger.
time to be cautions
>>130486
they know trying to hold the spratlys is suicide if the abyss decides to come a knocking, why would they waste the resources for a few very vulnerable islands that would be overrun by a single Wo-class when they must hold most of their forces defending glorious Chinese motherland?
>>130503
This might be a lead-up to that, mate. Let's wait and see.
>>130397
>[X] Just stick with the snorkel, and run just under cavitation speed. You'll probably be heard in the shallows anyways, and the sooner you surface to fire recognition flares, the sooner the AESAN patrols will take their fingers off the trigger.
Trying to pretend to be a fishing boat will get the response a fishing boat would get straying near a combat area: a full-huff blast of an AN-SPY1 horn.
>>130507
My money's still on abusive Russian ship girl program.
>>130397
>[ ] It's foggy as hell out there. Run on the surface, run as loud as you want, and simulate some radio traffic like you're a fishing boat or a merchant. Shave some time off the transit.
ZERO FUCKS
>>130397
>[ ] It's foggy as hell out there. Run on the surface, run as loud as you want, and simulate some radio traffic like you're a fishing boat or a merchant. Shave some time off the transit.
Yeah, running this like Down Periscope is most likely to lead to lulz and possibly survival. As bad as the odds are in a Ming, well, throwing away the book won't make them much worse.
>>130517
That sounds like Pararescue Witches all over again.
>>130517
lets see if Flange Nap (I tried a new re-arrangement of planefag, it probably sucks) actually does that or something else
So, question.
Harder and the lewdmarines are super noisy by modern standards, but the leveling effect keeps them hard to detect, right?
Wouldn't that work for us, or was a Ming G easy to hear even in its prime?
>>130508
>implying anyone in the area right now other than 'straya has those
>>130517
Wouldn't it be some shit if the Soviet ships are asking for help from the Abyssals?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7XGgGVc4Ugw
Just gonna leave this here.
>>130534
Easy even as built, they were never very good to start with.
>>130534
We're humans crewing an actual Ming-class anon
>>130540
Based on the description Lutzow gave of the russian ship girl program to Deutschland, that's not a stretch.
>>130540
I doubt Putin would want to share the spoils of victory with anybody though.
>>130397
>[x] Just stick with the snorkel, and run just under cavitation speed. You'll probably be heard in the shallows anyways, and the sooner you surface to fire recognition flares, the sooner the AESAN patrols will take their fingers off the trigger.
Hmm, so the Chinese probably have some first hand knowledge of the battle. Wonder what they'll end up seeing.
>>130397
>[ ] Half is better than nothing. Run slow to avoid detection. The damn tender can wait.
What the hell, I'll play it safe.
>>130554
Langley? (she went down in that area)
>>130551
And this is where?
>>130397
>[ ] It's foggy as hell out there. Run on the surface, run as loud as you want, and simulate some radio traffic like you're a fishing boat or a merchant. Shave some time off the transit.
>>130565
So that makes two wrecks that went down there. Langley and your mom.
>>130397
>[X] It's foggy as hell out there. Run on the surface, run as loud as you want, and simulate some radio traffic like you're a fishing boat or a merchant. Shave some time off the transit.
>>130572
>the leveling effect works on steel-hull ships too.
Nope, just on Spoopy Shipgirls.
>>130397
>[x] Just stick with the snorkel, and run just under cavitation speed. You'll probably be heard in the shallows anyways, and the sooner you surface to fire recognition flares, the sooner the AESAN patrols will take their fingers off the trigger.
stick with the prod.
you're not fooling anyone, and that's probably a survival trait; instead of tasking a hatredcopter to come push your shit in the capitalist running dogs will tag you with a rude name on the tactical projection and relentlessly mock your inability to do anything submariney.
>>130586
Technically he's right though.
On a shipgirl-to-hull point, that is.
>>130534
The Ming-class was sub-par even at their prime.
The crew is fucked 5 ways from Friday.
>>130463
We're doing an omake to get back into things. Had this one planned for a while. Was gonna say that, but I ran to get food because I was starving.
>>130397
>[X] Just stick with the snorkel, and run just under cavitation speed. You'll probably be heard in the shallows anyways, and the sooner you surface to fire recognition flares, the sooner the AESAN patrols will take their fingers off the trigger.
>>130577
This is your punishment for using a joke that only a 4 year old could come up with
>>130596
>The Ming-class was sub-par even at their prime.
So what you're saying.
Is that we pic related now?
>it's an omake episode
>>130614
Pretty damn much by the looks of it.
Hey, at least we get some comedy courtesy of the PLAN.
>>130614
Like that but worse.
We are sailing the submarine equivalent of a SAW trap.
>>130619
UMI DA
>>130614
>>130630
LET'S PLAY A GAME, IT'S CALLED FIGHT AN ENTIRE FLEET IN A BOAT EQUIVALENT OF A RICSHAW
>>130614
Thank ye gods. Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only person who's seen that.
VOTES CALLED
>>130644
I saw it. Grammer did a great job in that one.
>>130640
so we're screwed right?
>>130636
>>130633
Fuck you. This isn't a beach episode, it's a POV shift episode.
>>130651
So are we the AIP boat or one of the others?
>>130662
>>130677
>So are we the AIP boat or one of the others?
>AIP
>Ming-G
k e k
>>130679
Probably after we get Hate's Silver Star episode.
>>130614
I want that to happen
>>130679
we had that already. hamp was scandalised by speedbutt's swimsuit and then hurrnet threw us into the ocean for being a complete baka.
>>130517
>>My money's still on abusive Russian ship girl program.
New Abyssals borne out of contemporary Russian hardware and stuff? A modernized Submarine Princess or daresay SSBN Princess?
They didn't have their aircraft carrier with the SU-33s parked there, right?
>>130685
The last Ming G has AIP put in for testing purposes. As far as I know they never removed it. I think it was pennant 308 but can't swear to it.
we yellow now
>>130706
And then we decided "Fuck it, we're a submarine now" and stayed down there.
>>130722
Until the Rensouhous showed up that is
>>130636
Oh, this gonna be good.
>>130706
>we had that already. hamp was scandalised by speedbutt's swimsuit and then hurrnet threw us into the ocean for being a complete baka.
Just need Houston cavorting around in whatever she likes to wear.
Any thoughts?
>>130732
Nude
>>130737
On a scale of one to Hornet, how flustered does Hamp get?
>>130743
Kaga meets spider.
>>130749
Speaking of spiders, Didn't Hate already have Frank the Spider before he had Henry the Spider?
>>130786
certainly he has no shortage of spiders
>>130786
Bugger if I recall, man. They might be one and the same? Or he's got an...interesting collection growing in his room.
>>130698
Man, don't give me another fucking medal. Give me a six pack instead, we'll call it fucking even.
Has anyone made a list of shipgirls met so far?
Is there an archive where I can find the threads of this quest that were (and will be) run on /qst/?
>>130835
LL has one set up and linked to on sup/tg/, I believe.
>>130677
If we were AIP, we wouldn't be worrying about the snorkel, now, would we?
>>130826
Too bad, the only way your possibly getting out of this is by going neon samurai.
>>130835
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=Kant-O-Celle%20Quest
>>130847
You still have to snorkel to ventilate ... just not as often as when you're totally dependent on batteries. Anyway, it probably doesn't matter but I still figured it was worth knowing.
What's this? SWQ: Diesel-Electric Edition? Oh boy!
>>130826
But Hate just think you'll be able to take Yamato as you date to it.
>>130872
YAMATO IN JMSDF MESS DRESS WHEN?
>>130872
>>130871
Dammit, I haven't even played SS4 in a month.
>>130848
>Implying they won't give him another silver star for doing JUST THAT
>>130872
>JMSDF Dinner Blues Yamato
Artfags get to it
>>130886
You can't say this and not provide art of it. You CAN'T.
Remedy this immediately.
>>130871
>SWQ
>thread name is Kant-O-Celle quest
>>130899
I WOULD IF I COULD DRAW ANYTHING THAT WASN'T A BLUEPRINT
>>130886
Goto could bring Kongo.
Dess in Mess Dress.
>>130886
So naked apron?
>>130913
>Not knowing about military formal attire
M8 you best be joking
>>130903
get out
>>130903
>we play the straight man to a bunch of waifu shenanigans
>we also angst about war and occasionally fight aliens
>the waifu is a damaged-goods redhead
we are one sidearm short of a young, and one no'op short of an SWQ.
>>130927
Nigga I pray you're joking here
>>130937
When was young ever the straight man, he started half the shenanigans
>>130927
heard you like dress whites
Lots of autism in the thread right now.
>>130872
Funny fucking story.
No one has any kind of formal uniform requirements and shit in place for any of the girls. none. at all. Yams could wear a fucking china dress and they couldn't say shit.
Besides. I wouldn't do that to her. that shit sucks. no one wants to be at those fucking ceremonies. me fucking least of all.
![[enthusiasm intensifies].gif](https://i.imgur.com/xck4tCB.gif "[enthusiasm intensifies].gif")
>>130944
Yamato is pure and there is no need for fanservice from her, especially when it comes to Hate's Silver Star award night.
Speaking of,
>Willie D in Dress Blues
>Harder in Dress Blues
>Sammy B in Marine Dress Blues, because fuck you
>Corgis in dress blues
>>130976
>Yams could wear a fucking china dress and they couldn't say shit.
Sounds like we've got a hypothesis here man.
Why are we still on the shit board?
>>130975
m1488, this is a quest thread(1) about boats(2) and waifus(3), based off(4) a shitty anime browser game(5)
that's five, count 'em, F I V E degrees of autism, and that's before any of us get involved.
>>130976
Have you been given a bucket of red lead paint and a brush yet?
>>130981
>>Willie D in Dress Blues
Well it may not be Willie in Dress Blues but I know an artfag recently made a pigtailless Willie.
>>130989
Because planefag doesn't believe in listening to others.
>>130989
mods == fags
>>130981
>shipgirls in uniform
yes hello, this is my fetish.
>>130992
I mean "can't recognize a joke"-type autism.
>>131001
You mean this?
I was under the impression the US Navy used Dress Whites, and the Dress Blues were a Marine Corps thing
>>130976
Pic related.
>>131001
Link?
>>130976
But suppose she wanted to go to one WITH you...
You contemplate the likely scenarios for a few minutes, and all of them end with a tense rush to blow your ballast, surface the boat and fire some recognition flares from your signal tubes before someone rams an ASW fish up your ass. The AESAN forces aren't half-bad, but given the raging shitstorm that just ripped through the Strait a few days ago, you expect them to be pretty trigger-happy.
It might be best not to look like a submarine at all, if you can help it.
“Helm,” you instruct, “surface the boat.”
“Aye, Captain.” The boatswain's voice echoes through your small vessel, scratchy speakers bringing every man to his feet. “Standby to surface. Standby to surface.” The deck tilts ever-so-slightly beneath your feet as Ming 305 slides out of the depths. You're waiting by the conning tower's ladder impatiently. As soon as the small alert light flashes green, you're clambering up the ladder to undog the hatch and step onto what passes for a flying bridge. It's not as full-featured as the submersibles of past wars - this boat's meant to go underwater and stay there - but at least there's a railing to lean on as you smoke. You did bring some binoculars with you, but smoking's the main thing. The first watch rotation is out the hatch on your heels, a few men producing cigarettes of their own. The People's Navy is trying to discourage smoking in the ranks for obvious reasons, but for a submariner a cigarette is a rare treat, given that it needs fresh air to burn.
It's barely six AM, the dawn mist still thick on the shallow waters of the Sunda Straight as it rolls off the low land to either side. Cruising slowly through thick fog, a strange sense of peace steals over you. A lot of people consider the Abyssals to be born of the Sea itself; murderous and vile... but despite looking its dangers in the eye, head-on, you can't quite believe it. Photos of deep-sea fangly fish and horrifying worm-creatures that ply the perpetual shadow of the darkest depths scare the kids, but any way you dice it the ocean is Earth's womb - a place teeming with life even at its most inhospitable corners. The inlanders can cry and whine as they like, but on the coasts of Asia there's countless thousands that still draw their sustenance from the sea like their fathers fathers fathers did before them.
For all the tales of kraken and leviathan, it was Man that brought death to the sea, and eventually, to the depths.
>>131005
Well, he said it was an experiment.
And given he cut off the end of it to engage in a pissing contest with his own readerbase, I'd've figured he'd be able to comprehend that the experiment failed.
You flick the ash from your cigarette, watching the sparks swirl and twist in the gentle spray kicked up by your bow - the boat makes fifteen on the surface. Behind you a rating is wiping off the plexiglass housing of the recently-installed Bridgemaster radar; one of the most common civilian sets for basic navigation. The boat's even had special sound generators installed to help your powerplant sound more like a big, cranky diesel on a battered old fishing boat. It won't stand close scrutiny, but you doubt you'll need too - the Abyssals haven't bothered disguising their movements like this to date.
They typically don't need too.
The bridge phone beeps quietly. You pull it from the niche set into the conning tower's side, shake the moisture off the waterproof handset, and press it to your ear. “What?”
“Sonar, sir.”
“Anything?”
“Quiet as the grave. All I've got is some rumbling - geothermal.”
That'd be Krakatoa - restless, hungry and only twenty odd miles distant. Having its echoes rumbling through the Strait is actually welcome, for once - it'll make a right mess of the surface duct, polluting your sound and helping you slip through without suspicion. “Noted. Keep an eye out.”
You finish your cigarette and produce another, your mind turning things over and over and over. Everyone says the war's changing - but after the massive carrier battle the Americans and Japanese had, that much is obvious to everyone. The Navy has to be everywhere, at all times, which is why they dispatched your old tub on this trip, thrice the distance she's built to go, with a few sour-faced men with no names and locks on their briefcases to lurk in northern Australian waters. They couldn't spare anyone else. Construction of the new carriers has been greatly accelerated; pulling dockworkers from all over China to rush them to sea - so boats like yours, already decrepit to begin with, are being held together with duct tape, intensive effort and lots of prayer. You wonder if-
- the hair stands up on the back of your neck.
“Did you hear that?” you mutter.
>>131030
Oi Naka, Harder in formal attire y/n
>>130975
It's literally advertised on Spacebattles.
Why would you expect anything other than cringe and autism?
The watchman near your elbow gives you a curious look. “Sir-”
“SHHH!” you snap. Tilting your head, you strain to listen.
Yes. There. Rolling across the water, out of the fog...
You grab the bridge phone. “Helm, all stop!”
The murmur of 305s engines cut out abruptly, only the sound of her bulbous bow plowing through the choppy water remaining. With the noise of your boat abating, this time you all hear it -
- barking.
“I see something, sir!” the young watchman to your right breathes. “Bearing two-two-zero, I swear I saw something. A dark dot, something-” You turn your own optics in that direction and see nothing save fog - but the young man's eyes are sharper than yours, and he's not one for spotting phantom mines.
[ ] Carry on, and steer towards the contact. Let's not drop the fishing boat act just yet - in the shallows you have very little room to hide, so it's best to not be suspected at all.
[ ] Take no chances - make periscope depth and go to electrics.
[ ] They can't be far - and they can't be big. A rowboat? Speedboat? Could be fisherman, could be a patrol boat. Hail them with a loudspeaker - keep up the fishing boat act, too.
>>130392
I'm Making something for ya planefag, Here's a little teaser:
https://soundcloud.com/user763292816/back-to-work
>>130999
actual red lead paint is eye-watering safety orange and takes decades of air exposure to turn red. go figure.
>>131066
so its the same color as the dresses of the Sendai-class then....
>>131061
>[X] They can't be far - and they can't be big. A rowboat? Speedboat? Could be fisherman, could be a patrol boat. Hail them with a loudspeaker - keep up the fishing boat act, too.
>>131062
PFFFFFF wow. Wow. W o w.
>>131061
>[ ] Carry on, and steer towards the contact. Let's not drop the fishing boat act just yet - in the shallows you have very little room to hide, so it's best to not be suspected at all.
>>131061
oh fuck it's a corgi
>[ ] Take no chances - make periscope depth and go to electrics.
>>131061
>[ ] They can't be far - and they can't be big. A rowboat? Speedboat? Could be fisherman, could be a patrol boat. Hail them with a loudspeaker - keep up the fishing boat act, too.
HELLO FELLOW FISHERMAN WE ARE ALSO FISHERMEN. FUCK YOU, THIS IS OUR FISHING TERRITORY NOW.
>>131055
ARMAGEDDON!
>>131030
She wouldn't. Why the fuck would she? Shouldn't you be fuckin playing with your boyfriend?
>>131082
Working on getting the whole ritual with halfway decent audio quality
>>131084
I wonder if it's a new corgi or if Hate somehow forgot to check for one during the return trip.
>>131061
>[ ] They can't be far - and they can't be big. A rowboat? Speedboat? Could be fisherman, could be a patrol boat. Hail them with a loudspeaker - keep up the fishing boat act, too.
GREETINGS FELLOW FISHERMAN. WE ARE HUMBLE FISHERMEN, FISHING FOR FISH IN OUR TERRITORIAL WATERS AND NOT DOING SUSPICIOUS THINGS. HOW ARE YOU?
>>131099
>the ritual
ahahaha oh jesus
>>131061
>[ ] Carry on, and steer towards the contact. Let's not drop the fishing boat act just yet - in the shallows you have very little room to hide, so it's best to not be suspected at all.
>>131094
Hate, be honest here...
Have you had any sexual relations with women BESIDES hookers and sluts?
>>131062
Wait. Is this your voice acting work...?
>>131061
[ ] Carry on, and steer towards the contact. Let's not drop the fishing boat act just yet - in the shallows you have very little room to hide, so it's best to not be suspected at all.
[ ] Take no chances - make periscope depth and go to electrics.
>>131113
Hate: Yeah your mom!
Standard Marine response.
>>131094
I can multitask.
For instance, I'm texting Yamato pretty dresses she'd like and would make you look VERY dashing in your uniform beside her...
>>131130
OTHER than hookers.
>>131127
Yes. I'm using audible because I do not know of any free voice software I can use.
>>131061
>[x] Take no chances - make periscope depth and go to electrics.
why the hell would there be dogs at sea? it's either worst koreans making breakfast or it's some genuine weird shit tm, and either way it's time to nope the fuck outta here.
>>131061
>[ ] Carry on, and steer towards the contact. Let's not drop the fishing boat act just yet - in the shallows you have very little room to hide, so it's best to not be suspected at all.
>>131131
Dress whites, naka!
>>131141
>Yes. I'm using audible because I do not know of any free voice software I can use.
So you're the one reading all that Battletech stuff, or is that just autoplaying playlists or something...?
>>131061
>[X] They can't be far - and they can't be big. A rowboat? Speedboat? Could be fisherman, could be a patrol boat. Hail them with a loudspeaker - keep up the fishing boat act, too.
Why not?
>>131141
Audacity. FUCK.
>>131131
I was gonna say BUT DRESS UNIFORMS and then I remembered she isn't officially 'back' yet.
Carry on, you bollio.Protip, marines like backless dresses
>>131061
>[X] Carry on, and steer towards the contact. Let's not drop the fishing boat act just yet - in the shallows you have very little room to hide, so it's best to not be suspected at all.
>>131141
Audacity.
It's open source and free iirc.
>>131061
>[ ] Carry on, and steer towards the contact. Let's not drop the fishing boat act just yet - in the shallows you have very little room to hide, so it's best to not be suspected at all.
>>131131
I was gonna make some sort of vague threat of fucking violence.
Instead I think I'll just introduce Harder to Limp Bizkit. He ougghta really like them, you fucking think?
>>131150
oh. the battletech stuff I listen to in my spare time.
>>131131
That's an awesome idea. You know who'd love to help you out with this? Kongou. Maybe her sisters too.They probably have more free time than you do anyways so they can help things along when you aren't available.
>>131167
>oh. the battletech stuff I listen to in my spare time.
Oh, okay.
Apropos of nothing that battletech fiction sounds even more stilted when read out loud. Jesus Christ.
>>131166
You are a cruel man.
>>131166
>Limp Bizkit
Dude, dude.
Low blow.
At least Blink 182 was tolerable for a time.
>>131055
Not sure! He'd just pick at the collar, not that I can see him anyway.
>>131166
Marine, thanks to Harder, cheap body spray is now a turn-on for me.
I've fallen further than you can even imagine. What's one more turn of the rack?
>>131166
>Instead I think I'll just introduce Harder to Limp Bizkit.
>>131061
>[ ] They can't be far - and they can't be big. A rowboat? Speedboat? Could be fisherman, could be a patrol boat. Hail them with a loudspeaker - keep up the fishing boat act, too.
>>131180
>I've fallen further than you can even imagine. What's one more turn of the rack?
She says that now, but wait till he tries to make Smash Mouth "their song" at the wedding. Just you wait. She's going to spike him head-first into the cake.
>>131136
ah yes, I thought that people would have he intellectual capacity to use something other than the staler than 1,000 year-old bread "YOUR MOM" jokes, I should have remembered that many anons lack the intellectual capacity to think beyond the 2nd grade in terms of humor
>>131061
>keep playing fishing boat, besides even if our cover is blown, abyssals don't come back as Ming-classes, so they'll know we're human and therefore cant shoot at us without giving China a Casus belli, keep the tubes live incase of a goddamn abyssal though
>>131061
>[ ] They can't be far - and they can't be big. A rowboat? Speedboat? Could be fisherman, could be a patrol boat. Hail them with a loudspeaker - keep up the fishing boat act, too.
We're all one big, happy fleet! Right?
>>131180
Naka you should introduce him to some japanese men's cologne brands. I hear they're fairly good.
>>131061
>[ ] They can't be far - and they can't be big. A rowboat? Speedboat? Could be fisherman, could be a patrol boat. Hail them with a loudspeaker - keep up the fishing boat act, too.
>>131061
>[ ] Carry on, and steer towards the contact. Let's not drop the fishing boat act just yet - in the shallows you have very little room to hide, so it's best to not be suspected at all.
>>131180
Good fucking point. should we start with gold cobra, or the chocolate starfish in the hot dog flavored water?
>>131186
Record it, and not with the crappy phone cameras, then post it on youtube. If only for the propaganda (read:comedy) value of it.
>>131180
>Marine, thanks to Harder, cheap body spray is now a turn-on for me.
It could be worse.
If you were dating Hamp, it'd be AXE body spray that's the turn-on. At least the cheap shit isn't mistaken for chemical weapons...
>>131180
>cheap body spray is now a turn on for me
>>131180
You could Axe him to change
>>131203
Ground control to SS-257 Harder
>>131229
GROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
>>131229
Carlosssssssss
>>131150
Okay, this is a low quality version I just put together, lemme know what you think.
https://soundcloud.com/user763292816/the-ritual-of-summoning-take-two
>tied vote
>>131246
Here's the proper picture
>>131229
My response
>>131061
>[ ] Take no chances - make periscope depth and go to electrics.
Rolled 1 (1d2)
>>131273
>>131287
That works! VOTES CALLED
>>131247
You are amazing.
>>131292
Why thank you.
>>131290
Looks like PREPARE TO BE BOARDED BY A DOG. Crap.
>>131273
tied votes were rare before userID.
i think that's a coincidence though.
>>131274
did I mistakenly link to a post on another goddamn thread
>>131273
God. Fucking. DAMNIT!!!
>>131247
My brother just pissed himself because of this.
>>131215
>>131225
>>131229
Years from now, when they look back and study this war, this is what they'll point to as the final tipping point for my surrender to the abyss.
>>131316
Why, just why
>>131229
>>131305
>i think that's a coincidence though.
mm. hmm.
>>131315
In A positive way, I hope.
>>131333
Well it is from 5 to 6, time to pick on Crix
>>131316
So now would be a BAD time to ask if you and Harder have tried butt stuff?inb4 finding out she's pegged him with his own Mark 14
>>131316
THIS? FUCKING THIS? Not, ya know, any of a dozen other bullshit things they fucking do around here, but this.
jesus fucking christ.
>>131346
>>131166
Hate, just wondering, has Yams ever seen you in dress blues?
>>131376
I don't wear them if I can fucking get away with not, and I don't think she's been looking up three year old archival photos, so probably fucking not.
>>131316
Really hope you're being sarcastic here.
>>131376
NOTHING DROPS PANTIES LIKE A MARINE IN HIS SHARPEST UNIFORM.
>>131389
>what is banter
>>131389
I'm pretty sure she is. The Cro-magno---er, I mean *marine* up there is just too dense to grok it.
>>131388
Maybe try it? If she doesn't react you'll have the ultimate trump card against anyone who says she's interested.
>>131357
She's effectively blind and feels like metal, so all she gets now is the smell of cheap body spray associated with her own mug...
>>131398
baby don't bantz me, don't bantz me no mo'
My my, well I've allowed to give a slightly minor report everyone...and there's bad news especially for the dashing Lt. Hate....there was enough damage done to my front that I've lost a good bit of tonnage and have gone down a cup size or two, I'm sorry Hate but no paizuri for you from me.
D R I L L S
>>131309
Hmm, I wonder what would happen if Settle and Bright Noa served on the same ship.
>>131389
yes you have correctly identified sarcasm
i hope you do well on your test
>>131438
>>131442
Harukaze looks like she's emulating Okuni here.
>>131438
If you're gonna offer shitty RP, at least give us some nice chunnibote pics.
>>131443
UC Canon Bright seems to have a high bullshit tolerance (Abridged Bright... Not so much) and SRW Bright might not even bat a fucking eye at half the shipgirl/guy antics.
>>131438
Okay seriously enough. You're not one of the writers cabal so stop RPing
>>131467
>Abridged Bright
God I miss Gutted Wren.
Also,
>Canon Bright
>Making Willie D look for checkered paint again? COME UP TO THE BRIDGE LATER, I'LL SET YOU STRAIGHT.
>>131438
There's a lot of gundamposting here
>>131438
Bullshit - we can rebuild you. Stronger, faster, bustier.
>>131494
We're passing the time while waiting for Glidermetrosexual
>>131499
Speaking of refits, I wonder if Iowa will hitch a ride on Higgins when she gets here.
>>131507
goddamn dude at least link this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KL9bGbkiyKw
>>131494
Time to counter with Deltaposting then.
>>131514
I'M GOOD
Time to post delish choco Battleships.
>>131514
Am I doing it right?
Fun fact: CL princess, aka Nagano, shares voice with Katori.
Operation Hailstone sank Naka, Agano and Katori.
>>131532
>Femme Musashi
Dayummmm
>>131532
Hey, I saw that in belabat!
Also, post more ghost!waifu
>>131514
I WILL BE VICTORY
>>131538
someone needs to shove this in fluffbringer's face
You run the possibilities through your head quickly. In all likelihood it's just a fishing boat; fishermen bring their dogs along for company sometimes - and for work, too, to retrieve the odd seabird they shoot down for some extra meat. You've seen it often enough off the Vietnamese coast; long hours of watching fishermen's daily struggle for survival through a periscope. Or it could be a military patrol - an active-only sonar is small enough to cram onto a large speedboat, and the vessel can flat-out outrun most torpedoes, as well as any surface units it might blunder into. The PLAN itself is using similar units to guard the river mouths against infiltration.
After a few seconds of thought, you pick up the bridge phone. “Get Preta up here.”
The watchman gives you a curious look as you hang up. Knowing he's dying to ask, you nod permission his way. “Preta, sir?”
“The XO.”
He nods, but his face is begging you desperately.
“Because he's made of hot air and he's never satisfied,” you clarify. The ensign manages to stifle a most unseemly giggle in front of his captain and turns back out to sea, raising his binoculars and trying to shield his mouth with his forearm. A few seconds later Wei scrambles out of the hatch to fling himself over the railing casually. “Hey, wh-” He waggles his eyebrows suggestively as you clamp a hand over his mouth - son of a bitch really doesn't miss a trick.
“Hey,” you say lowly. “Some kind of rowboat with a dog in it out there.” You nod in said direction. “Do your... you know, that...” you search for a few moments, trying to find a word suited to the dignity levels of his particular talent. “That thing,” you give up with a sigh.
He nods, shakes loose of your hand, and cups his hands around his mouth.
As a young ensign making a port call in Signapore, you were once chased clear off the end of the dock by an extremely agitated fisherman wielding a long silver fish in both hands like a baseball bat while cursing you, your ancestors, your boat, your race and your pets in his native tongue. They say that “Malay” and “melee” sounding identical is mere coincidence, but you damn well know better. As gifted as that fisherman was, your younger XO is better.
He finishes, lowering his hands.
“What'd you say?”
“I said that if he's that fucker in the sampan who keeps snagging my nets, I'm going to ram him.”
You slap your hand against your face. “Wei, god damn it.”
>>131532
>Time to post delish choco Battleships.
>>131514
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wRmzajCyToo ?
>>131546
>post more ghost!waifu
Okay
>>131555
>I WILL BE VICTORY
“The best lie is one with some truth in it!” Wei objects.
“So if he calls our bluff, we RAM him?” you hiss under your breath.
“Us? Ramming a fishing boat?”
You restrain the urge to throw him over the railing. “You-”
“Not how you do it anyway,” he murmurs. “That's what you shout, but what you do is, you reel them in, board their boat and beat them with belaying pins and oars.”
You blink. “You had an interesting childhood, didn't you?”
“That's a word for it,” he grumbles. He cups his hands to his mouth again, and tries another challenge.
This time, you both hear the reply.
“HELLO!?”
In Chinese.
“WHERE ARE YOU!?”
The voice is young, thin, and speaking flawless Mandarin.
“WHERE DID YOU GO!?”
Your XO snatches the binoculars of the watchman nearest him, yanking him against his shoulder by the strap around his neck as he plies them to his eyes. You raise yours, and peer through the swirling fog, the rising morning breeze finally rolling off the open ocean to dispel the mists a bit. Through the fog, even your eyes can pick out the faint silhouette of a human... and they seem to be stumbling.
“Sandbank!?” the XO breathes. “Shit, are we-?”
You feel a chill race down your spine - but not at the prospect of running your boat onto a new sandbank. You lean forward over the railing, trying to get a few inches closer, to resolve the ghostly image into something clear enough to understand...
The mist swirls and closes over the figure... but through the fog, you hear the petulant whine of a canine, and the horrible, full-chested sobbing of someone terrified.
Terrified, and alone.
The bridge phone beeps again. “Sir, sonar. We've got surface contacts bearing one-six-five, making about ten knots, maybe eight thousand yards out.”
[ ] Clear datum at best speed - you don't know who either of these contacts are.
[ ] Put her on the bottom - and *wait.* You know who they are. And you know who they're here for.
[ ] Close on the mysterious boat and hail them again - you need to warn them if the new contacts are abyssals, and you dare not be detected if they're AESAN patrols.
pls stop with gratuitous images, leave me a few to post with the updates D:
