KANT-O-CELLE QUEST: WAR, PESTILENCE, FAMINE AND DESS
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You are Ryan Settle, RMDL of the United States Navy, and you are currently serving as the Noble Steed of a bikini-clad woman while a noblewoman cowers behind her desk and begs you for help against the bands of ruffians filling the office lobby. Kongou leans forward, plucking your cane from your hands, and thrusts it forward like a lance.
“CHARGE!” she yodels, kicking her bare heels against your thighs encouragingly.
This wasn't quite the role you'd expected to play - but a Damsel in Distress is a Damsel in Distress, and her call must be answered. You charge through the room, clearing Haruna and Kirishima (who're now wrestling prone as they rip each other's outfits to pieces) with a single adroit leap, making sure to favor your good leg on the landing. Letting Kongou's weight tilt you forward you lunge towards the door of Goto's office. Yamato leaps from behind the desk, knowing she's got to stop you and looking horrified that you're making her. Kongou reaches out with your cane and neatly stabs the tip between the prongs of the small anchor that dangles from Yamato's bare hip, twisting it in the belt-string of her outfit. Yamato squeals, her heels turning outward as her hands fly down instinctively to protect her dignity - which makes it easy for your momentum to throw her off balance. Driving Yamato ahead like a battering ram, you slam into the door, popping the simple latch easily.
Yamato ends up on the floor, of course, curling her legs beneath her as a shield as the unfortunate realities of short skirts manifest themselves. You stumble over her, throwing you forward. Kongou tries to catch you both by planting the cane against the floor, but momentum - and the lack of friction between her smooth skin and your working khakis - send her flying clear over your head like a pole-vaulter. You look up in time to see something strange and wonderful go hurtling out the window behind Goto's desk in a shower of crumbling safety glass.
And then there's only the stunned silence of the lobby behind you. You freeze awkwardly, one hand on the desk's edge where you caught yourself, waiting for the slow, raspy hiss of the door's pneumatic cylinder to finish.
The latch re-engages with a polite little click.
“... WHHHYYYYYY!?!?! Yamato demands.
[ ] Approach the window. You must see that mysterious creature one more time - with the lower body of a JMSDF Admiral and the torso and head of a smoking hot chick. You may never again gaze upon the majesty of a fully-operational Desstaur.
[ ] Help Yamato up first. You do owe her an apology, and you don't want to be too close to Goto for at least thirty to sixty seconds, considering how you aided and abetted the latest Burning Love.
[ ] See if you can't help Goto escape. Knowing Kongou she'll have him pinned on the lawn, in view of God and everybody, and considering her attire it's not something he needs right now.
>>182489
>[X] Help Yamato up first. You do owe her an apology, and you don't want to be too close to Goto for at least thirty to sixty seconds, considering how you aided and abetted the latest Burning Love.
Pam is quality waifu
>>182489
>[x] Help Yamato up first. You do owe her an apology, and you don't want to be too close to Goto for at least thirty to sixty seconds, considering how you aided and abetted the latest Burning Love.
>>182489
>[ ] See if you can't help Goto escape. Knowing Kongou she'll have him pinned on the lawn, in view of God and everybody, and considering her attire it's not something he needs right now.
>>182489
>[ ] Help Yamato up first. You do owe her an apology, and you don't want to be too close to Goto for at least thirty to sixty seconds, considering how you aided and abetted the latest Burning Love.
Goto is (probably) fine... let's help the poor little Hotel
>>182489
>[x] Help Yamato up first. You do owe her an apology, and you don't want to be too close to Goto for at least thirty to sixty seconds, considering how you aided and abetted the latest Burning Love.
>>182489
[x][ ] Help Yamato up first. You do owe her an apology, and you don't want to be too close to Goto for at least thirty to sixty seconds, considering how you aided and abetted the latest Burning Love.
>"Because... I can."
We're going to see the other two things up on the internet because everyone has a fucking smartphone these days. No rush.
>>182489
>[X] Help Yamato up first. You do owe her an apology, and you don't want to be too close to Goto for at least thirty to sixty seconds, considering how you aided and abetted the latest Burning Love.
>>182489
>Approach the window. You must see that mysterious creature one more time - with the lower body of a JMSDF Admiral and the torso and head of a smoking hot chick. You may never again gaze upon the majesty of a fully-operational Desstaur.
>>182489
>[ ] Help Yamato up first. You do owe her an apology, and you don't want to be too close to Goto for at least thirty to sixty seconds, considering how you aided and abetted the latest Burning Love.
>[]I'll get Hate to make it up for me miss.
Can't Hold off Kongou the Bongo forever Yamato.
>>182489
>[ ] Help Yamato up first. You do owe her an apology, and you don't want to be too close to Goto for at least thirty to sixty seconds, considering how you aided and abetted the latest Burning Love.
>>182489
>[X] Help Yamato up first. You do owe her an apology, and you don't want to be too close to Goto for at least thirty to sixty seconds, considering how you aided and abetted the latest Burning Love.
>>182489
>[ X ] Help Yamato up first. You do owe her an apology, and you don't want to be too close to Goto for at least thirty to sixty seconds, considering how you aided and abetted the latest Burning Love.
>>182489
>[ ] Approach the window. You must see that mysterious creature one more time - with the lower body of a JMSDF Admiral and the torso and head of a smoking hot chick. You may never again gaze upon the majesty of a fully-operational Desstaur.
>[ ] Help Yamato up first. You do owe her an apology, and you don't want to be too close to Goto for at least thirty to sixty seconds, considering how you aided and abetted the latest Burning Love.
I think this is one where we could combine the two--pick Yamato up and head over to the window so you can see the splat.
I for one look forward when planefag decides to tackle Goto's sub-plot.
>she could've been a grandmother to me!
>>182489
>[ ] Help Yamato up first. You do owe her an apology, and you don't want to be too close to Goto for at least thirty to sixty seconds, considering how you aided and abetted the latest Burning Love.
Eh, fuck it, Goto needs realize we aren't going to save him from Kongo. The sooner he caves to the Dess, the better off he'll probably be.
>>182489
>[x] See if you can't help Goto escape. Knowing Kongou she'll have him pinned on the lawn, in view of God and everybody, and considering her attire it's not something he needs right now.
>>182489
[ ] Help Yamato up first. You do owe her an apology, and you don't want to be too close to Goto for at least thirty to sixty seconds, considering how you aided and abetted the latest Burning Love.
>>182489
>[ ] Help Yamato up first. You do owe her an apology, and you don't want to be too close to Goto for at least thirty to sixty seconds, considering how you aided and abetted the latest Burning Love.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YnheOlgK5uo
intensifies
>>182489
>[ ] Help Yamato up first. You do owe her an apology, and you don't want to be too close to Goto for at least thirty to sixty seconds, considering how you aided and abetted the latest Burning Love.
>>182489
>[ ] Help Yamato up first. You do owe her an apology, and you don't want to be too close to Goto for at least thirty to sixty seconds, considering how you aided and abetted the latest Burning Love.
>>182485
>[ ] Help Yamato up first. You do owe her an apology, and you don't want to be too close to Goto for at least thirty to sixty seconds, considering how you aided and abetted the latest Burning Love.
Because the only way to battle madness is with madness.
Gentlemen Behold! Hate!
>>182606
So this came across my desk today, I thought one of my people did it. Clearly not.
>>182606
Now do a full art with ZR and kneesocks
>>182489
>[ ] Help Yamato up first. You do owe her an apology, and you don't want to be too close to Goto for at least thirty to sixty seconds, considering how you aided and abetted the latest Burning Love.
It was for Dam. Con., we swear!
>>182608
I see the lack of USN flags so probably not.
Remember, our goal coming here was to talk to Goto, alone.
>>182489
>[x] Approach the window. You must see that mysterious creature one more time - with the lower body of a JMSDF Admiral and the torso and head of a smoking hot chick. You may never again gaze upon the majesty of a fully-operational Desstaur.
>>182489
>[X] Help Yamato up first. You do owe her an apology, and you don't want to be too close to Goto for at least thirty to sixty seconds, considering how you aided and abetted the latest Burning Love.
We are so, so cruel to Goto. He is our friend, our ally, our companion in this torrid sea of shipsluts!
These are dark times indeed...
>>182485
ITS TIME
>>182489
>[ ] Help Yamato up first. You do owe her an apology, and you don't want to be too close to Goto for at least thirty to sixty seconds, considering how you aided and abetted the latest Burning Love.
>>182489
I would STRONGLY FUCKIN ADVISE apologising to Yams. Jus sayin
>>182635
And the chances of that happening now are rather low. We now deal with the fallout.
>>182635
That plan was torpedoed before we'd even arrived. You really think that many shipgirls in one place would've let it happen?
>>182489
>[X] Approach the window. You must see that mysterious creature one more time - with the lower body of a JMSDF Admiral and the torso and head of a smoking hot chick. You may never again gaze upon the majesty of a fully-operational Desstaur.
>>182641
I gotta say marine...you look good with twintails.
WAIT. So is the big reveal to Goto the extremely obvious conclusion that Katsuri's existence leads us to, or is it OGODTHERUSSIANBOOMERSMIGHTBEGOINGABYSSALWATDO
>>182489
>[ ] Help Yamato up first. You do owe her an apology, and you don't want to be too close to Goto for at least thirty to sixty seconds, considering how you aided and abetted the latest Burning Love.
IT BEGINS!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBYxPsvbEIg
>>182489
>[x ] Approach the window. You must see that mysterious creature one more time - with the lower body of a JMSDF Admiral and the torso and head of a smoking hot chick. You may never again gaze upon the majesty of a fully-operational Desstaur.
FETISH GET
>>182641
>white knighting
>when you're the princess in the relationship
>>182661
Probably a little of column A, a bit of column B, and discussing possible repair plans for Tatsuta in column C.
>>182489
>[ ] Help Yamato up first. You do owe her an apology, and you don't want to be too close to Goto for at least thirty to sixty seconds, considering how you aided and abetted the latest Burning Love.
She's a good girl, we shouldn't bully hertoo hard.
>>182661
Probably a little bit of both.
>>182669
what exactly is happening in (pic)?
>>182683
Those are sex positions.
Except the places are reversed.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hgiNvsCkiWE
THREAD SOUNDTRACK
>>182606
>legendary tsunderine
AHAHAHAHAHA WOW
FUCKIN
WOW
WTF, I missed the last 2 sessions because of finals week and now we're a horse.
>>182489
>[x] Help Yamato up first. You do owe her an apology, and you don't want to be too close to Goto for at least thirty to sixty seconds, considering how you aided and abetted the latest Burning Love.
>[ ] Help Yamato up first. You do owe her an apology, and you don't want to be too close to Goto for at least thirty to sixty seconds, considering how you aided and abetted the latest Burning Love.
>>182641
I didn't see you vote for it faggot, why not put your money where your mouth is
>>182636
>mental image
ahaahhaha wow
>>182699
Welcome back, hope finals went well, and does this really surprise you?
>>182641
>I would STRONGLY FUCKIN ADVISE apologising to Yams. Jus sayin
Or what, Lieutenant?
>>182489
>[ ] Help Yamato up first. You do owe her an apology, and you don't want to be too close to Goto for at least thirty to sixty seconds, considering how you aided and abetted the latest Burning Love.
Goto has chosen his future. regardless of whether he actually had a choice or not.
>at least Yams isn't host to GIANT ENEMY CRAB
>>182489
[X] Help Yamato up first. You do owe her an apology, and you don't want to be too close to Goto for at least thirty to sixty seconds, considering how you aided and abetted the latest Burning Love.
![de6ca1e9eacaf487e1a360c7aa22b096[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/rz6X9AB.jpg "de6ca1e9eacaf487e1a360c7aa22b096[1].jpg")
>>182719
Thank you very much, they did, and sadly no.
>>182725
He'll go tsunderine on us. Also look! I found Deme.
>>182489
>[X] See if you can't help Goto escape. Knowing Kongou she'll have him pinned on the lawn, in view of God and everybody, and considering her attire it's not something he needs right now.
>>182489
>[ ] Help Yamato up first. You do owe her an apology, and you don't want to be too close to Goto for at least thirty to sixty seconds, considering how you aided and abetted the latest Burning Love.
Hey aerohomo, wheres the best place to get some shwarma in michigan?and why is it Bucharest in Detroit?
>>182489
>[ ] Help Yamato up first. You do owe her an apology, and you don't want to be too close to Goto for at least thirty to sixty seconds, considering how you aided and abetted the latest Burning Love.
>>182732
Those giant hermit crabs exist. It's why Abyssals are so intent to get on land; they're running the hell away from those things.
>>182661
the revelation is: wow, i'm personally responsible for the deaths of lots of people already, BUT. it turns out the ships i sank were ALSO real human beans. baww, fuck my life,can you beat my high scoreetc.
>>182760
Its actually a spider crab, but that's not as important as the fact its WEARING A YAMATO-CLASS BATTLESHIP AS A SHELL
Relevant: https://youtu.be/QEmOVR16QFM
HOKAY forgot to CALL THE VOTES
SO THEY'RE CALLED NOW
ALREADY COUNTED THEM
STOP VOTING
>>182748
Of course Deme writes drunk.
>>182788
>Other: pay denbts
>>182790
>not sure if lewd or just adorable
>>182757
La Marsa in Brighton.
>>182788
>[ ] Fire your sidearm into the air while shouting
>>182788
[ ] Help Yamato up first. You do owe her an apology, and you don't want to be too close to Goto for at least thirty to sixty seconds, considering how you aided and abetted the latest Burning Love.
I do what I want.
>>182797
por que no los dos?
>>182797
Both.
>>182782
Same principle applies; they eat the soft innards of sunken ships and make a mobile home out of the remaining hollowed-out armored husks. When they outgrow their current hull, they move to a larger one.
>>182790
>Of course Deme writes drunk.
NOT NEARLY OFTEN ENOUGH
>>182815
>DO NOT WANT
>>182818
You know what you must do Fap.
>>182799
We don't even have a sidearm, damn it!
Those damn "story reasons" forbid us from having our God given right of bearing arms!
>>182815
They aren't going to get much larger than Yams, short of a super carrier or a really big oiler... maybe a cruise liner?
>>182848
Well at least we don't have to worry about the two halves of the Titanic then right? Also have a Inazuma sir.
>>182848
>They aren't going to get much larger than Yams, short of a super carrier or a really big oiler
but what if
guys
what if...
we oiled up yamato
So, how does (Pic related) not fall over? Isn't it absurdly top heavy?
>>182788
No sweat. Wouldn't be the first time you forgot something.
>>182870
>Isn't it absurdly top heavy?
Nope.
Machinery is fucking heavy.
>>182870
Think of the stuff on top being balsa wood and the bottom where the equipment is being iron.
There's a lot of stuff on top but it's far less dense than the stuff at the bottom.
>>182848
Supertankers and the like, but yeah it doesn't go that much bigger. Seawise Giant / Janre Viking is "only" twice as long and twice as wide as Yams.
Main worry would really be the younger, smaller crabs; the ones that go for smaller hulls and/or the sunken shipgirls themselves.
![ShipsTwo550x402JPG[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/tvLXcbc.jpg "ShipsTwo550x402JPG[1].jpg")
>>182870
There are a variety of methods, including lightweight upper structures and stabilizers under the waterline. It's becoming more and more of an issue though, as the Costa Concordia disaster proved.
>>182869
>>182919
Yeah, leave that to Hate
>>182869
How about fuckin no
>>182870
TLDR naval-sized engines/generators and fuel tanks are absurdly heavy. Also cruise ships are very wide so even if they they don't have a deep draft the bulk of the ships mass is still below the waterline.
>>182926
no, we must cuck hate.
So I had fun on Twitter earlier.
>>182933
Oil Hate and Yams together?
>>182940
There are three groups with lists of shit they can't do now, Shipgirls in General, the Abyssals, and KCQ Essex.
>>182941
why oil? superglue would be much more fun.
>>182946
NO WAIT. Oil+Glue+Duct tape+ others. What else should we do guys?
In a car captcha? What a great idea!
![squarecubelaw_fixed_498[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/F0wNX2C.png "squarecubelaw_fixed_498[1].png")
>>182899
Volume goes up by the square cube of area though. So while the JV is only about twice the length of the Yamato, with a full load she has over 9 times the displacement.
>>182489
>[ ] See if you can't help Goto escape. Knowing Kongou she'll have him pinned on the lawn, in view of God and everybody, and considering her attire it's not something he needs right now.
>>182960
if that didn't exist we'd have built Mobile suits, the USS Donald Trump (that fucking giant battleship someone on /k/ (I think) came up with), Landships and god knows what else.
>>182870
>>182932
>TLDR naval-sized engines/generators and fuel tanks are absurdly heavy.
Exhibit A. Those are ladders built inside the block to go down into the crankcase. Marine diesels can get hilariously large.
>>182990
We'd also have ridicu-huge oil tankers, water heaters, and gas tanks. Pretty much everything would be larger.
Who would win in a fight, Shokaku or Hornet?
>>183021
The aircraft carriers, or the shipgirls?
>>183025
What if the ship girl was on the carrier?
>>183016
The only limit would probably be power supply and raw materials/monetary costs.
>pic somewhat related
![Baku_Aquatic_Palace,_Olympic_Pool[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/2JPnBia.jpg "Baku_Aquatic_Palace,_Olympic_Pool[1].jpg")
>>182991
Not to mention the weight of the fuel too. A full gas tank for a cruise ship is somewhere in the region of a million gallons. Or roughly two olympic sized swimming pools. Each gallon of fuel weighs about 8 pounds. On top of that the ship will also have ballast tanks full of water specifically designed to help keep the ship stable. So it's a LOT of weight and helps lower the centre of gravity to a sane level for such a big ship.
That of course assumes you don't hit a rock and breach half of the ship, re: Costa Concordia.
>>183028
like the destroyermen series then?
>>183027
You'd have a weapon to surpass kongo dess.
>>183025
Either or
>>183038
So USS Iowa aboard the USS Iowa. A fast battleship faster than Kongo
>>183048
And a battleship that, you know, is actually a battleship.
>>183038
What happens if you lewd a ship on her ship?
>>182899
Have another nanodesu, colonel.
>>182848
>458.6 meters
Jesus Christ on a stick. The absolute fucking fuck?
>>183031
Jeeeeesus.
(but can it fly)
>>183027
I really need to sort my kc folder
>>182799
>>183059
If the shopgirl got pregnant what does that mean for the still extant ship? Using Iowa class as an example as it may or may not be pertinent, based on the actions of certain people...
>>183059
The world fuckin wonders
>>182489
>“... WHHHYYYYYY!?!?! Yamato demands.
You see Yams. There are only two things certain in life.
DESS AND TAXES.
>>183060
No, in-fact probably the only keeping from collapsing under its own weight is the power of pure, unadulterated autism
>and there's bigger ones
>>183082
I'm starting to realize just how mind numbingly retarded the school ship concept was.
Why does GuP have it make itself so hard to enjoy?
Stooping, you slip your arm underneath Yamato. She yelps in surprise as you sling her upright one-armed, planting her ample buttocks against the desk for support. Her hands stay buried between her legs, keeping her meager skirt locked tight around her unmentionables. “WHW-A--WHA-WH YYYYYYYYY!?” she demands again.
“Every normal man,” you say primly, “Must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats.”
Yamato recoils from you, eyes wide in horror.
“H.L. Mencken said that,” you clarify.
“Wh-what kind of r-ruthless monster could s-s-say such a -”
“Newspaper editor.”
“Oh,” Yamato says immediately. “I... yes.”
From outside you hear a deep, gasping wheeze. Hair on your nape stands on end as the pressure drops precipitously in the room, the cold, chilly dread sweeping over your skin. You recognize the signs; like the sea rushing out of harbor scant minutes before a tsunami strikes full-force. Somewhere deep within you, a young butterbar trembles. You slap your palms over Yamato's ears.
“Wh-” she begins, but the rest of her query is drowned out by a horrific torrent of profanity from outside the window. It starts in Japanese, shifts to English and ends in pure, sputtering rage, the guttural snarls that presage messy, Nature-Channel velocity murder. Shifting to peer over Yamato's shoulder, you see Kongou straddling Goto's chest, pinning his wrists to the grassy lawn and waiting out her Teitoku's apocalyptic rage with closed eyes and saintly demeanor. At last, he runs out of breath and lets his head flop back on the lawn. He's just drawing another when Kongou leans over him, her long brown tresses slipping off her shoulder to shade their faces from the hot summer sun.
You release Yamato's ears, and she scrambles away from you, blushing a bright red. By rights you ought to go to Goto's rescue... but Kongou's bare, arched back and long chestnut hair is enticingly beautiful in the bright sunlight. You can't help but let Kongou have her moment - and for that matter, Goto. You wonder what's going on behind those long brunette bangs - is his expression softening? Is she looking deep into his eyes, hoping he'll be swayed by the devotion and desperate, pent-up longing so evident in her unguarded moments? You hold your breath -
- and almost spit it out as Goto's hips surge off the lawn, hurling Kongou's ass airborne. The man seems to flex in the middle like spring-steel under tension, sending the Desstroyer ass-over-teakettle in her second front-flip of the day. She lands flat on her stern, blinking in surprise as Goto seems to whip himself off the ground like a dust-devil kicking up a fine spray of Angry Japanese Man. He beams an expression of pure hate down at her - but instead of wilting, she just clasps her small hands together above her ample bosom and gives him the sweetest, most pleading look imaginable.
“Teitoku,” she says. “Please.”
>>183098
says the guy reading thi story which has absolutely no therapists around
>>183098
Because most people have something called "suspension of disbelief" while you only have autism.
>>183098
If the school ship bothered you that much then you might actually have autism.
Goto seems to swell like a water balloon shoved against the tap, the whites of his eyes racing away from the pupils as he expands with rage.
Seeing what's coming, she hauls in her own deep breath and attacks prematurely - and good God, her blowers can make a mighty fine draft. “TEITOKOU, I WHAAAARRRGARBL!” She sputters and retches in surprise, thrashing about as she finds herself drenched in water.
You glance askance at Yamato, who's just lowering a truly massive Super Soaker. She blows imaginary smoke away from the muzzle and winks at you.
“Waaah hawwww hawwww~” she sing-songs, then giggles.
Goto draws himself up to his full dignity and rolls across the lawn like a thunderhead, heading for the window. He thunders through the window to loom over the room, his eyes as cold and hard as hailstones.
“G-GOTO-SAMA!”
Goto climbs a few inches higher as he stiffens, poised to fall like a thunderbolt. He rotates in place, sharp eyes slicing across the room till they're staring out the empty window.
Kongou's standing outside - the vision of beauty. Sunlight plays on her thick, wavy chestnut locks, kisses her flawless skin and sparkle in the water droplets trickling into the cleft of her bosom, which is straining against the dark, wet fabric of her black bikini top. You can't help but let your eyes wander down her long, toned legs to her small, bare feet, fidgeting nervously in the grass.
Goto stares at her pleading, longing face as she implores him with her brilliant, beautiful eyes. She forgets to breathe as he takes a step towards the window, his arms reaching out -
- and yanking the blinds shut with a sharp jerk.
Then he swivels, steps to, and drops into his office chair, the pneumatic cylinder hissing as he impacts.
Then he just steeples his fingers and taps them together slowly, glaring at you.
[ ] So I came to tell you that all our ships everywhere are soooo-goo-noo-moo-goomies? They're alive. THEY'RE ALL FUCKING ALIVE, GOTO.
[ ] ... y'know what? It looks like he's had a bad day. Sit down, let him go first. Anyone in a mood that bad after having a woman like that straddling him must have some weight on his mind.
[ ] You're not sorry. You're not fucking sorry at all.
>>183114
>TEITOKOU, I WHAAAARRRGARBL!
>>183114
>[ ] ... y'know what? It looks like he's had a bad day. Sit down, let him go first. Anyone in a mood that bad after having a woman like that straddling him must have some weight on his mind.
Admirals lean on one another
>>183114
>[x] ... y'know what? It looks like he's had a bad day. Sit down, let him go first. Anyone in a mood that bad after having a woman like that straddling him must have some weight on his mind.
Only in a planefag story..... or a harem anime.
>>183114
>[ X ] ... y'know what? It looks like he's had a bad day. Sit down, let him go first. Anyone in a mood that bad after having a woman like that straddling him must have some weight on his mind.
>>183114
>[x] You're not sorry. You're not fucking sorry at all.
sorry not sorry
>>183114
>[ ] So I came to tell you that all our ships everywhere are soooo-goo-noo-moo-goomies? They're alive. THEY'RE ALL FUCKING ALIVE, GOTO.
>[ ] You're not sorry. You're not fucking sorry at all.
>>183060
>Jesus Christ on a stick. The absolute fucking fuck?
Yeah that thing was a beast of a ship. Damn good thing it never went the way of the Exxon Valdez.
Another fun ship; look up Dockwise Vanguard. Barely longer than Yams, more than twice as wide and able to lift both Yamato and Iowa right out of the water at the same time, with room to spare, and sail off.
>>183114
>[ ] So I came to tell you that all our ships everywhere are soooo-goo-noo-moo-goomies? They're alive. THEY'RE ALL FUCKING ALIVE, GOTO.
>>183060
>can it fly
gaijin pls
>>183114
>[ ] You're not sorry. You're not fucking sorry at all.
I regret nothing.
>>183114
>[ ] ... y'know what? It looks like he's had a bad day. Sit down, let him go first. Anyone in a mood that bad after having a woman like that straddling him must have some weight on his mind.
>>183114
>[X] So I came to tell you that all our ships everywhere are soooo-goo-noo-moo-goomies? They're alive. THEY'RE ALL FUCKING ALIVE, GOTO.
>>183114
>They're alive. THEY'RE ALL FUCKING ALIVE, GOTO.
Business before pleasure.>>183114
>goomies? They're alive. THEY'RE ALL FUCKING ALIVE, GOTO.
Business before pleasure>>183114
>[ ] So I came to tell you that all our ships everywhere are soooo-goo-noo-moo-goomies? They're alive. THEY'RE ALL FUCKING ALIVE, GOTO.
Business before pleasure
>>183114
>[ ] You're not sorry. You're not fucking sorry at all.
If Settle got orders from God to tap the national treasure then Goto's gonna have to bend over the dess at some point.
>[x] You're not sorry. You're not fucking sorry at all.
>[x] So I came to tell you that all our ships everywhere are soooo-goo-noo-moo-goomies? They're alive. THEY'RE ALL FUCKING ALIVE, GOTO.
In that order.
>>183114
[ ] ... y'know what? It looks like he's had a bad day. Sit down, let him go first. Anyone in a mood that bad after having a woman like that straddling him must have some weight on his mind.
>>183114
>[X] ... y'know what? It looks like he's had a bad day. Sit down, let him go first. Anyone in a mood that bad after having a woman like that straddling him must have some weight on his mind.
>>183114
>[X] ... y'know what? It looks like he's had a bad day. Sit down, let him go first. Anyone in a mood that bad after having a woman like that straddling him must have some weight on his mind.
Ours is probably worse, but hey, we've been pretty hard on him lately. Let him get it out of his system.
>>183082
Is that the USA's tank-training boat?
>>183112
>American ship is a supercarrier design
Also, heavily reminded of this.
(that comparatively little fish-hook ship in the fore left being about five kilometers in length canonically)
>anyway no more off topic stuff I'm going back on track
>>183114
>[ ] You're not sorry. You're not fucking sorry at all.
"Anyways..."
>[ ] So I came to tell you that all our ships everywhere are soooo-goo-noo-moo-goomies? They're alive. THEY'RE ALL FUCKING ALIVE, GOTO.
>>183114
My damn phone is screwing with me
>>183125
>In 2014 Dockwise started a feasibility study into a larger successor to the Vanguard.[15]
Hot damn.
That said it helps that despite its size it's a lot of empty space.
>>183114
>[X] ... y'know what? It looks like he's had a bad day. Sit down, let him go first. Anyone in a mood that bad after having a woman like that straddling him must have some weight on his mind.
>>183114
>[X] So I came to tell you that all our ships everywhere are soooo-goo-noo-moo-goomies? They're alive. THEY'RE ALL FUCKING ALIVE, GOTO.
inb4 Goto says "Tell me something I don't already know."
>>183109
>therapists
Since I can't say it to you on SpaceBattles, I'll say it here.
You're a fucking idiot.
>>183114
>[x] So I came to tell you that all our ships everywhere are soooo-goo-noo-moo-goomies? They're alive. THEY'RE ALL FUCKING ALIVE, GOTO.
>>183114
>[ ] So I came to tell you that all our ships everywhere are soooo-goo-noo-moo-goomies? They're alive. THEY'RE ALL FUCKING ALIVE, GOTO.
>>183114
>[X] So I came to tell you that all our ships everywhere are soooo-goo-noo-moo-goomies? They're alive. THEY'RE ALL FUCKING ALIVE, GOTO.
>[X] Also the Abyssals have been attempting to skullfuck my mind, and the minds of our girls, in our sleep
Right to the point, no pussy-footing around.
>>183157
To be fair the base could really use some health personnel of all sorts.
>>183114
>[ ] You're not sorry. You're not fucking sorry at all.
>What the fuck man, if we treated Arizona like that she'd have to shot us, Silent Love be damned
>>183114
>[x] You're not sorry. You're not fucking sorry at all.
it's hilarious when it's happening to someone else
>>183168
It needs personnel in general, Hate still has no actual FORCEPRO detail to help his ass out in putting down random fires and keeping shit secure
>>183168
The problem is finding ones that can work for extended periods of time without ending up like that poor bastard in the comic page I linked.
You're not just dealing with one person's emotional baggage. You're dealing with an entire walking war grave.
G'luck!
>>183167
I'm changing my response to this.
>>183114
[ ] ... y'know what? It looks like he's had a bad day. Sit down, let him go first. Anyone in a mood that bad after having a woman like that straddling him must have some weight on his mind.
Let's let him venta bit.
>>183114
>[ ] So I came to tell you that all our ships everywhere are soooo-goo-noo-moo-goomies? They're alive. THEY'RE ALL FUCKING ALIVE, GOTO.
>>183177
Maybe contract base defense/security out to the Constellis Group?
![155057-russian-woman-carrying-log-mem-2xVj[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/kAs07O1.jpg "155057-russian-woman-carrying-log-mem-2xVj[1].jpg")
>>183151
>That said it helps that despite its size it's a lot of empty space.
Well, yeah. That thing has to be ~90% ballast tanks. It'd be a gym rat pumped full of steroids if it ever showed up as a shipgirl. Or pic.
>>183168
The idiocy comes in when you realize that the USN already has psychologists assigned to
Yokosuka, but your average shipgirl is going to be made 'all better' after talking to a shrink a couple of times.
>>183188
Put a PMC in charge of the only naval base keeping Japan alive?
Suuuure.
Why not just ask them to change their name to World Marshall LLC while you're at it, and introduce biometric firearm locks?
>>183178
What about chaplains, or are the religious groups all "KILL THE HERETIC!" when it comes to ship-girls?
>>183188
>contract base defense/security
>>183114
>[ ] You're not sorry. You're not fucking sorry at all.
Settle regrets nothing.
>>183178
Sociopaths make EXCELLENT therapists.
They understand and don't care!
>>183114
>[ ] You're not sorry. You're not fucking sorry at all.
>>183114
>[x] ... y'know what? It looks like he's had a bad day. Sit down, let him go first. Anyone in a mood that bad after having a woman like that straddling him must have some weight on his mind.
>>183178
Dunno, I've always found your opinion on the subject to be overblown.
Plus, last you talked about the screening process it was kind of mildly retarded and screening out a lot of perfectly useful people because they weren't utterly terrified at the idea of shipgirls.
>>183196
Revolver Ocelot
>>183114
>[ ] ... y'know what? It looks like he's had a bad day. Sit down, let him go first. Anyone in a mood that bad after having a woman like that straddling him must have some weight on his mind.
His day will get worse soon enough. No need to hasten it.
>>183114
>[X] If you transfer her to another command, you can finally start dating.
>>183200
The kicker is these are the guys who now own what used to be blackwater
>>183196
>Put a PMC in charge of the only naval base keeping Japan alive?
Not just any PMC.
>Currently over 5,000 employees work for Triple Canopy and it has also acquired Academi (formerly Blackwater) in 2014
>Why not just ask them to change their name to World Marshall LLC while you're at it, and introduce biometric firearm locks?
I don't get the reference. Mind explaining?
Though that biometric firearm lock sounds quite interesting.
>>183114
>>[ ] So I came to tell you that all our ships everywhere are soooo-goo-noo-moo-goomies? They're alive. THEY'RE ALL FUCKING ALIVE, GOTO.
>>[ ] You're not sorry. You're not fucking sorry at all.
>>183199
This would still be a pretty freaking daunting task man. I don't even think these girls are particularly religious to begin with.
>>183216
Oh trust me I KNOW WHO THOSE FUCKER ARE!
>>183114
>[ ] ... y'know what? It looks like he's had a bad day. Sit down, let him go first. Anyone in a mood that bad after having a woman like that straddling him must have some weight on his mind.
On a side note what does the first option even mean? soooo-goo-noo-moo-goomies?
>>183114
>[x] You're not sorry. You're not fucking sorry at all.
>>183225
Is there a story behind that statement, Colonel?
>>183225
...There's a story here.
What happened, if I might ask?
>>183236
>"Sure, Settle. The Dess is your problem now!"
>>183225
What them douches do? They did something dumb didn't they?
>>183218
Its a reference to Metal Gear Rising.
>>183218
PMC's are pig disgusting. Use properly military personnel or don't bother doing it. Considering the track record these groups have I wouldn't trust them with a taco cart, much less the security of our base.
>>183059
>What happens if you lewd a ship on her ship?
>>183225
Is it story-time yet, Colonel Sanders?
>>183263
Gonna need to work on that. A for effort though.
>>183188
"I wanted Belltower or any of the major security firms. But Sarif wanted someone in-house."
VOTES CALLED
>>183267
>Inazuma using her powerplant to run a fan
Is cute
>>183188
fuck that noise acquire Ugandans
>>183275
JAMBOOOO!
>>183273
>Inazuma means lightning
>>183178
Get a shipgirl that isn't a wargrave to be a therapist, then.
>>183257
>PMC's are pig disgusting. Use properly military personnel or don't bother doing it. Considering the track record these groups have I wouldn't trust them with a taco cart, much less the security of our base.
Okay, bro, there's two kinds of PMCs.
The first kind go innabush in Darkest Africa and fuck up bad people. With aircraft and armored vehicles and everything you can fucking imagine.
Blackwater et al are security. That's it. They're fucking security guards. They hire actual ex-military men - with a strong preference for special forces - and they're tasked with defending civilian people doing civilian shit (like rebuilding sandystan's infrastructure or something.) They have small arms, and shit. And at the most, armored SUVs to drive around in without getting their asses shot off.
All these motherfuckers hyperventilating over them - I honestly don't understand it.
>>183199
There has to be at least one person capable of dealing with this stuff. Also,main fact, Roman Catholic priests are trained not to stop mass for anything past a certain point and have rules and contingencies in place for nearly every conceivable situation.
>>183289
Yes but it makes sense in both that context and the one I used.
Why is Ari not doing her job protecting her admiral's purity?
Everyone have some Battleship tongues.
>>183298
>trained not to stop mass for anything past a certain point
Do explain anon.
>>183301
She's waiting in the wings for planefag's next romcom twist
>>183296
Except the first was LITERALLY starting more wars for profiteering off of, and the second massacred more than a few groups of civilians.
>>183290
Problem is pretty much the only ship-girl on base who isn't a war-grave is...Willie. And she's got problems even without being a war-grave.
>>183304
DELETE THIS
>>183257
On the other hand, we could contract them to get rid of our little Sumiyoshi-Kai problem, without risking any of our own staff. Of course, they'll fuck over diplomatic relations in the process, but...
Video: Blackwater in action.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xm6hC2oW5P8
>>183311
>and the second massacred more than a few groups of civilians.
>>183308
Without her around Settle is even admiring granny Dess.
>>183304
Aw yis
>>183320
Hey now, Settle's always had an appreciative eye independent of his heart
>>183304
Lewd!
>>183305
Apparently over the years various things have happened, Catholicism has been around for at least 1960 or so years and that means that they've seen a lot of different interruptions. The only times mass is permitted to pause is in the event of a medical emergency, either so the priest can administer last rites or if they're the one with the medical emergency another priest can take over.
I recall in my own church a man started ranting and raving, the priests isn't even flinch and continued giving the mass even as two burly men came and dragged the guy away.
>>183335
Ahhh that makes sense.
so did planefag really run a madoka quest, or is one poster in the sb thread very confused?
>>183334
>the one who knows what it is
>the one who owns them
WOW
>>183341
Deculture ran the meduka quest.
>>183341
Extremely confused.
They might be confusing him for deculture? I'm not sure how the hell you'd manage that.
>>183341
>so did planefag really run a madoka quest
I fucking
what?
>>183352
Just ignore and drink Deme
>>183199
I suddenly have this vision of Father Malchahy from MASH trying to deal with this base.
>>183352
I don't think you ever ran a Madoka quest, unless this is some weird Parallel universe where Crix can write and anons don't try and bait the Marine.
>>183318
Dunno if "more than a few", but at least one is well-documented.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blackwater_Baghdad_shootings
>>183352
SB is full of idiots. Up next: Lexington is STACKED and Yamato is a hotel.
>>183343
Beware the quiet ones.
>>183361
So when do we get a TV audience to tell us when to laugh?
>>183367
Oh yeah, right.
Threadly reminder that Lexington is stacked.
>>183377
Sierra Tango Alpha Charlie Kilo Echo Delta
>>183231
Iraq
>>183236
>>183234
>>183241
>>183252
>>183267
Sorta kinda, but not really story time. I was stationed in Iraq in the Green Zone, this was a while ago, and those motherfuckers all thought they were hot shit. They're a security company, and they used to think they could play with the big boys cause they were over there. They were fucking insufferable to deal with.
>>183377
Double dubs speak the truth.
>>183077
Hey, Lieutenant, you ever pull a prank like this out in the field?
>https://twitter.com/bm21_grad/status/700647443382165504
Or this?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SIoarndHIk
>>183386
Even more so than Marines????
>>183296
The third kind: JAMBOOOOO
>>183386
It didn't help that the civie contractors basically ran everything. Base building, supply management, the works. I'd ask you about your love for KBR, but I'd rather live a little while longer...
>>183396
As much shit as we give each other I respect Marines, greatly. These fuckers retired early and went civilian cause they were LAZY and had NO HONOR. They were only in it for the MONEY and didn't give a shit about ANYTHING ELSE!
>>183412
Honor and a couple bucks gets you a soda.
>>183412
If they went Merc rather than Cop I'd say that's a fair assessment, my cousin was a Marine in Iraq, and when he left the corps after his mandatory service period was up he eventually became a Cop in Vegas.
>>183426
That is something I can respect cause they're still serving. And people that leave after mandatory is over are fine, but when they turn around and go join someone like Blackwater, then it's clear their in it for the money. And that bothers me.
>>183426
>my cousin was a Marine in Iraq, and when he left the corps after his mandatory service period was up he eventually became a Cop in Vegas.
>>183352
I mean, I'd read it if you did
>dead-to-the-world Sayaka
>your friend's fucking your crush and this dyke won't stop asking you out to eat
>violently cleaning up witches and scum because it's all you've got left to hold on to
>dulling your mind with drink so it matches the unfeeling zombie shell
All the grit of MGNQ, none of the excessive over-the-top 40k and ceaseless references. It'll be fun.
>>183424
Hooah
>>183431
Oh wow, people getting a job for the money. What a surpriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiise.
>>183440
There's a difference between making a living and getting rich in one of the most morally devoid ways possible.
>>183424
I am not sure if I understand.
>>183431
My family has a minor history with the military, my Great uncle on my father's side of the family was one of the poor bastards who had the misfortune of being among the first waves to land on Omaha beach, from what my father told me, my great uncle never married nor talked about the war, understandable given it was goddamn Omaha beach and its killing ground we're talking about here.
![4[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/0ef7VCb.jpg "4[1].jpg")
