KANT-O-CELLE QUEST: A CANDLE IS LIT
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“PARKER!” Your flung injunction pins him to the floor mid-stride. “STAYWHEREYOUARE!”
Parker stays, still staring longingly at the door as he hunches his shoulders a bit. You snatch your smartphone out of your pocket and hastily tap at “J” in your contacts list, then tap for Jintsuu. The phone rings twice, then Jintsuu's characteristic good nature comes through. “Hello~”
“Jintsuu!” you exclaim. “I need you to put Naka in a deep hole, right the fuck now!”
“I - ah - don't know if Harder's into that, Teitoku, but I can try?”
“I mean keep her away from any kind of goddamned TV or social media anything, you hear me? If she sees the news right now we're fucked.”
“... what? What happened-”
“Something that's not her fault and is actually a good thing.”
“... so-”
“Multiply by Bollio.”
“... oh. oh. Okay, we're just helping her get tape markers on the stage for rehearsals, so I might not be able to look into it till later, okay?”
“Wait, what?”
“I'll call you back about that! Bye!” You hear the phone rustling into a pocket, but the call doesn't terminate for several seconds longer - Naka's muffled voice greeting her sister in the background with some quip about her eyes having it, or whatnot.
You slip your phone into your pocket, then tap your thigh in frustration, a thousand new potentials and problems spinning through your head.
Then you round on Parker.
“YOU!”
Parker cringes even more and turns - ever-so-slowly - to face you.
“Me?”
“You,” you say, stalking towards him, a strange kind of calm fury sweeping over you. “You knew.”
To his credit, he doesn't dodge your gaze. He just nods.
Kongou's already striding through the break-room door towing a reluctant Willie by her wrist, the destroyer's feet gliding over the floor with a subdued “weeki weeki” sound. Kongou slings her charge past her. Willie stiffens in abject terror, her hat rising by a quarter-inch with her hair. She weekiweeki's across the floor till you arrest her gently with your forearm. Willie seizes it and clings tightly.
“Who knew what!?” Kongou asks cheerfully. She pauses and cocks her head as she searches the ceiling. “And WHEN, Dess!?” she finishes, her eyes sparkling with wicked glee.
Parker rubs a palm up and down one side of his face, dragging his jaw open in a silent scream of horror. “Not here.”
“Indeed,” you agree. Parker strides past you towards the battered metal door in the far wall of the break room, sporting a unisex bathroom symbol.
“What not here!?” Kongou says, quite aware she's being dodged. She bounces over, bare feet squeaking on the cold tile floor. “Tell me what's going on!”
“Why?” Parker snaps irritably.
“Because the people have a right to know!” Kongou declares.
Parker's clawed hands reach out from his sides as if he wishes he could go full Samson and pull the entire classified intel building down on Kongou's head; the only reply that can truly answer her blasphemy. “Ghaaaaddddammitshutup.”
“YOU CAN'T SHUT ME UP!” Kongou declares, looking a bit huffy. “TRUTH IS ETERNAL!”
“Truth,” Parker growls, “is for me to-”
“NO!”
“WHAT!?” he growls, the caffeine in his system causing his pulse to bounce so hard it lifts him off his heels and curls his fists.
“YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TROOOF! she cries as you shove Willie towards her. The little destroyer flies across the tile at high speed, emitting a high-pithced little wail that merges with the rapid ekiekiekiekiekiekieki from her feet before she cannonballs into Kongou. The slender woman steps back with the impact, bracing with the ball of her foot. Before she can recover, you and Parker have absconded into the bathroom. Shooting the bolt, you both put your backs to the door and brace a foot against the nearby commode. The heavy steel door jumps once with a powerful impact - and then you hear a faint “dessu,” followed by an audible Kongou Pout.
“... so,” Parker says with a sigh.
“Yeah.”
“So.” Parker rejoins.
“Yeah.”
“Yep.”
“Spit it out before I ram that fucking plunger down your-”
“You really want to fucking talk to me like that in a locked room with no witnesses-”
“Try it you fucking skinny desk jokey-”
“Look who's fucking TALKING!” Parker snarls, shoving you hard - and bumping himself up against the opposite wall even as you stumble into the hand dryer. He sizes you up again and apparently adds a bit better this time - but the wild look in his eyes simply simmers down to a jumpy kind of fire.
[ ] ... you're scared. Of how I'm going to react to this. Me, and others.
[ ] You're scared. Because of what it means - inherently. Intrinsically. The implications are vast.
[ ] You're strained. You've kept this bottled up for a long while with no way to know who to tell.
>>163984
>[ ] You're scared. Because of what it means - inherently. Intrinsically. The implications are vast.
THE WARP IS OVERTAKING US
IT IS A GOOD PAIN
>>163984
>[ ] You're strained. You've kept this bottled up for a long while with no way to know who to tell.
>>163984
>[x] You're scared. Because of what it means - inherently. Intrinsically. The implications are vast.
>>163984
[WRITE IN] I LITERALLY RAGED A SHIP INTO A FIGHT YOU DICKLESS INTEL WEENIE, OUT WITH IT YOU FUCKING NERD, WHAT'S NEXT, I'M PUTTING OUT SHIPSLUT SIGNALS TOO, AND ITS MAKING THEM ALL WANT TO TAKE A RIDE ON MY BALOGNA PONY TO THE BONE ZONE?!?
>>163984
>[ ] You're scared. Because of what it means - inherently. Intrinsically. The implications are vast.
>>163984
>[x] You're scared. Because of what it means - inherently. Intrinsically. The implications are vast.
Well fuck...
>>163984
>[X] You're strained. You've kept this bottled up for a long while with no way to know who to tell.
>>163984
>[ ] You're scared. Because of what it means - inherently. Intrinsically. The implications are vast.
they are indeed
>>163984
>[x] You're strained. You've kept this bottled up for a long while with no way to know who to tell.
>>163984
>[x] You're scared. Because of what it means - inherently. Intrinsically. The implications are vast.
>>163984
>[ ] You're scared. Because of what it means - inherently. Intrinsically. The implications are vast.
>Pic related
>>163984
>[WRITE IN] I LITERALLY RAGED A SHIP INTO A FIGHT YOU DICKLESS INTEL WEENIE, OUT WITH IT YOU FUCKING NERD, WHAT'S NEXT, I'M PUTTING OUT SHIPSLUT SIGNALS TOO, AND ITS MAKING THEM ALL WANT TO TAKE A RIDE ON MY BALOGNA PONY TO THE BONE ZONE?!?
This is a terrible idea but it's too good to pass up
>>163984
>[X] You're strained. You've kept this bottled up for a long while with no way to know who to tell.
>>163984
>[X] You're scared. Because of what it means - inherently. Intrinsically. The implications are vast.
And here's something for ArmyNurse.
>>163984
[x] You're scared. Because of what it means - inherently. Intrinsically. The implications are vast.
(it's not at all because you're in a bathroom with a braindamaged officer who kisses shipboys and had to be duct taped to a table last time shit got p.spoopy)
>multiply by bolio
Hahahaheuehueueue
>>163984
>[ ] You're scared. Because of what it means - inherently. Intrinsically. The implications are vast.
>>163984
>[X] You're scared. Because of what it means - inherently. Intrinsically. The implications are vast.
Welp, time for today's pain.
Its a good pain
>[X] You're strained. You've kept this bottled up for a long while with no way to know who to tell.
>>163984
>[ ] You're strained. You've kept this bottled up for a long while with no way to know who to tell.
IT BEGINS
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBYxPsvbEIg
>>164045
We're still Settle anon, the person who did all of that.
>>163980
ITS TIME
>>163984
>>152146
>“Kasturi,” Kongou whispers.
Why's bongo acting like she didn't know.
Pic unrelated.
>>164045
DEEPDARKFANTASIES
>>164040
i literally just noticed her boob window has an eyepatch
>>164040
Dude that pic has been reposted a million times.
>>164072
Nah, she's wondering what Settle said Parker knew, iirc.
[X] You're strained. You've kept this bottled up for a long while with no way to know who to tell.
>>163984
[writein] "Yeah, yeah. Implied implications, changes will never be the same, etc. But HOW did you know already?"
So when is this concert thing happening?
>>163984
[] You're scared. Because of what it means - inherently. Intrinsically. The implications are vast.
Such as "Stop scrapping all ships or else."
>>164084
The obvious deduction would be that what Parker knew relates to Kasturi coming back as a shipgirl.
>>163984
>[X] You're strained. You've kept this bottled up for a long while with no way to know who to tell.
>>164098
Spiking the stage for rehearsals probably means within a week or so, assuming it's the stage she's performing on
>>163984
>[x] You're scared. Because of what it means - inherently. Intrinsically. The implications are vast.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhIS4FdS7co
>>164107
I meant in quest time.
>>164107
Well, they're placing marking tapes for blockings, so it's probably THE event stage.
>>163984
>I actually have to deal with the implications of this bullshit every fucking day and you're keeping intel from me?
>>164112
Four months from now.
https://en.shindanmaker.com/272566
PFFFFTTTT, what I got when I typed planefag in. Goddamnit RNG.
>>164113
Probably, but my show running experience doesn't include idols of this magnitude.
>>164116
«RT if you think Catte is a pervert.»
https://en.shindanmaker.com/272566
Good god, what have I discovered
>>164130
being naka-chan's fan is suffering
>>164145
>Twintails Sendai without the scarf
Feels like ages when she looked like that
>>164137
lel
Hey, is the Dess around in-thread?
>>163984
>[X] You're scared. Because of what it means - inherently. Intrinsically. The implications are vast.
>>163984
>[X] You're scared. Because of what it means - inherently. Intrinsically. The implications are vast.
I am not sure if I understand the implications of her coming back.
>>164072
Why is Bongo so happy the ship came back?
>>164170
Before now, the 'youngest' ship to come back was Iowa, launched in 1942.
Lekir and Kasturi were launched in 1984, and Kasturi sank less than 48 hours ago.
>>164170
But simply - it means that ANY ship has the possibility of coming back. That ALL ships have a "shipgirl" inside.
«RT if you think Hate is tsundere.»
https://en.shindanmaker.com/272566
Oh god that's just perfect
>>164170
Dude.
Relatively modern ship.
And she came back.
Imagine all the losses in the recent war in terms of modern warships, coming back like that.
Yeah.
>>164182
This explains a lot about why Arizona was so worried about Higgins coming here.
>>164193
No matter how much you love your physical ship, you cannot put your dick in it.
>>164170
She's a modern ship (1980s), anon. With goddamn Exocets and shit.
The implications are vast and far-reaching.
>>164193
>This explains a lot about why Arizona was so worried about Higgins coming here.
so close so far ARGH
«RT if you think Arizona is stalker.»
https://en.shindanmaker.com/272566
Kekekekekekekekekekek.
>>164170
>A nuclear sub comes back pissed.
>DOZENS OF FULLY FUNCTIONAL NUKES COME BACK WITH IT!!
Just one of a billion horrible things that WILL happen.
>>164197
That doesn't really matter much given the leveling effect spooky bullshit.
>>164201
Big Sister Arizona moment?
>>164170
if modern ships from modern battles can come back a few days later refuelled and rearmed by magic, and their logistical needs are a bunk bed, junk food and regular headpats, we can sink all our shit and slash the navy's budget!
VOTES
CALLED
>>164193
Pretty sure that was more because Settle outright admitted that a shameful part of why he relied on her so heavily was because he had a reliable ship-shaped hole in his heart after Higgins bought it.
>>164170
It means that ANY ship can come back. The British lost one of their destroyers in a writeup, so a fucking modern destroyer could come back.
>>164003
>[WRITE IN] I LITERALLY RAGED A SHIP INTO A FIGHT YOU DICKLESS INTEL WEENIE, OUT WITH IT YOU FUCKING NERD, WHAT'S NEXT, I'M PUTTING OUT SHIPSLUT SIGNALS TOO, AND ITS MAKING THEM ALL WANT TO TAKE A RIDE ON MY BALOGNA PONY TO THE BONE ZONE?!?
Horrible idea, and it's not gonna win.
And I'm voting for it.
>>164182
which i mean, we more or less knew, when we saw the dream battle of LA, or whatever it was. It's just real relevant now
>>164213
She's more concerned about Higgins giving Settle the means, motive, and opportunity to get himself killed than about being NTRed, I expect.
>>164219
>Pretty sure that was more because Settle outright admitted that a shameful part of why he relied on her so heavily was because he had a reliable ship-shaped hole in his heart after Higgins bought it.
FUCKING THANK YOU
>>164230
NO IT FUCKING WOULDN'T THATS NOT HOW THE LEVELING EFFECT FUCKING WORKS I WANT TO CUT YOU
I mean hey, Hi how are you today, I am fine
>>164217
>we can sink all our shit
You do that, and they'll come back as Abyssals, mate.
Kasturi came back because her crew stood up to their duty.
>>164213
>These people who think Higgins would be a little girl.
Go back to SB.
>>164230
>K-219 anyone?
I'm more worried about K-429 coming back.
>>164204
I... Don't THINK any boomers have been lost, right? (I think the old soviet boat that went down was an attack sub)
>>164230
«RT if you think Shimakaze tweets nude.»
«RT if you want to have sexy times with Shoukaku.»
«RT if you think Hornet is tsundere.»
...That last one...is it wrong?
>>164242
Little Sister's don't always have to be little girls, mate.
Just look at the Kongou sisters.
[bold text intensifies]
>>164238
Hypothetically speaking, how WOULD the leveling effect work with boomers? They don't seem to fit neatly into any established category - I assume they would end up keeping their nuclear armament?
>>164238
That doesn't mean that a modern ship coming back as a ship-girl wouldn't be OP as all fuck.
Let's assume that a Burke get's sunk and comes back as a ship-girl. She no longer has to go back into port, summon her hull and have her missiles re-loaded manually, she can re-generate them like any other ship-girl assuming she eats enough. and theoretically she can use any missile that can be launched by a Burke. SAMs, Tomahawks, LRASM and VLS launched torpedoes.
OP as fuck.
>>164196
>dick in it
Also before I update here is a screencap just for you. Someone should also link the screencap of the literal shipfucker fetish. With the metal butt fixtures, all around the ship. I can't find it.
>>164264
>and theoretically she can use any missile that can be launched by a Burke. SAMs, Tomahawks, LRASM and VLS launched torpedoes.
god.
fucking.
damn.
you.
to.
hell.
>>164264
Still would have trouble with capital battleships and pre-dreads, tho.
Re: Battle of LA.
>>164204
>A nuclear sub comes back pissed.
>DOZENS OF FULLY FUNCTIONAL NUKES COME BACK WITH IT
Exceedingly relevant: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/65/c4/c5/65c4c5557803583c7fda2f636b19a299.jpg
Also relevant: http://www.urbanghostsmedia.com/2011/08/forgotten-soviet-submarine-graveyard-kola-peninsula/
Russia does not treat its ships kindly.
>>164249
One of the Russians' key Pacific ports - and the main port/central command post of their entire submarine fleet - is currently eight kinds of fucked up beyond all recognition in-quest.
Chances are, the Russian sub fleet has been knackered.
>>164280
He's not wrong though, is he?
>>164280
I have no Idea how it would work, I'm just going off how Hornet was able to launch aircraft that she was never equipped with because enterprise used them. If I'm wrong then do correct me.
>>164281
That's because she was in range, the best place for a Burke is out of the range of the enemy's guns.
Sort of like an aircraft carrier, just replace the aircraft with missiles.
>>164295
Yes he is. That's why Deme is yelling at him
>>164264
>>164280
I apologize for the dumb question, but one of my friends wants to ask such...
'Why can't we *just* modify the torpedo tubes to fire missiles instead?'
>>164182
Argies commence shiting themselves to the dulcet tones of ANGRY COVENTRY NOISES
>>164303
... That's so stupid I'm not even going to try and answer this.
The leveling effect is based on "effective in their era" IIRC.
Though by that logic wouldn't the Chunni boats be more effective due to how early they were made? I mean isn't that the reason why Kongou and her sisters are still rather effective despite having an outdated concept in WW2 (they were made about 15+ years before it kicked off)
>>164303
Because we don't need to modify the tubes, just the missiles
Tomahawks and Harpoons have had torpedo-tube-launched variants, off the top of my head if I remember right
Does that mean Canada will finally take care of her aging DDs?
![USS_Santa_Fe_(SSN-763)_VLS_doors_open[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/GOVraKf.jpg "USS_Santa_Fe_(SSN-763)_VLS_doors_open[1].jpg")
>>164303
Modern submarines can launch missiles just in a different way.
>>164315
>Though by that logic wouldn't the Chunni boats be more effective due to how early they were made?
I devoted some ink in quest and out of quest to this effect; it's not that their firepower is obsolete or anything, but rather their design scheme is optimized for a fleet role that no longer exists with other ships in the fleet. So it's hard to find a thing they're good at.
Sunda Straight was something they were good at, incidentally.
>>164325
>Back in Control
>Not ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE
History, mate.
>missiles from a torpedo tube
>>164318
>I was thinking Harpoons and Tomahawks don't carry the same explosive power of high-capacity shells.
But they have much longer range.
>>164320
>The conclusion he draws from it is very wrong.
So would a modern ship-girl only be able to launch what she went down with?
How does it work, or would that be spoilers?
>>164320
So modern ship-spirits can only use whatever missiles and aircraft they were capable of using when they sank? Or am I getting something wrong here?
>>164322
>Canada
>spending money on the military
to busy dumping billions into natives and "refugees" and other assorted bullshit
>>164264
>OP as fuck.
now.
i am going to close the window
breathe into a paper bag
and write some
k?
k.
>>164347
Reserve munitions would be an issue, though. This is crucial, specially in a major fleet engagement that involves more than one capital ship on the enemy side.
>>164352
>>164264
God damn you people. Were you born this stupid or did you take lessons?
>>164238
>I mean hey, Hi how are you today, I am fine
Speaking of fine, pic related.
>>164363
We FINALLY figured out how to make Planefag ignore the faggotry in the thread and go write!
>>164383
REPLYING TO THIS OUT OF SHEER SPITE
>>164369
Oh, fuck you're talking about the torpedo tubes on a burke.
Yeah those are like half the diameter of full-sized submarine tubes
>>164383
You just had to jinx it.
«RT if you think Willie is an honest-to-god giant pervert.»
....I...wat.
>>164385
Go fuck yourself nerd. Write some more.
>>164307
>>164314
Yeah, that was my reaction too. But, hey, I'm five dollars richer now.
>>164325
His response: Something something sea-skimming missiles fired out at ninety degrees from the ship, no need for cutting holes into the ship to install VLS tubes.
And no, he's not drunk.
>>164322
...Don't fucking bet on it. We're still apparently scrapping two other frigates this year.
>>164385
I BET YOU CAN'T NOT SHITPOST BEFORE YOU POST THE NEXT UPDATE, FAGGOT.
>>164373
I'm just gonna stop speculating at this point, its probably better for people's blood pressure if I do.
>>164394
NO LEWDING BEST DAUGHTERU
>>164394
>>164385
lol, PF is pissy.
Yknow maybe if you explained to people how this shit worked you wouldn't get retards hurr durring at you wrong.
>>164404
spoiler lewds dude.
>>164399
>...Don't fucking bet on it. We're still apparently scrapping two other frigates this year.
And we now have nothing operational in the pacific.
>>164409
It's been explained before.
>>164399
And our response is "the tubes are too fuckin' small"
>>164399
>something sea-skimming missiles fired out at ninety degrees from the ship, no need for cutting holes into the ship to install VLS tubes.
That's not an efficient use of space though.
>>164397
Hey, LT, have you ever been to Sudan? Or Uganda?
>>164409
I think the [shitposting intensifies] is because he has. Even if half of it amounts to "It's Levelling Effect, I don't gotta explain shit"
>>164404
CHRISTIAN IMAGOBOARD!
>>164397
Hey, LT. Did you show Yams the Lego version of her?
inb4 "Dick the hotel, LT!"
>>164411
it's tasteful erotica, not lewds. Also, on painkillers, so loopy enough to forgot
>>164409
Pretty fucking clear how it works to me. Maybe you're the retard.
>>164404
oi, you can't do that there 'ere
>>164303
Funny story, actually.
My tabletop buddies actually mathhammered it out, and found out that tomahawk missiles are actually smaller and lighter than mk16 torpedoes Fletchers usually carried, meaning they could potentially become tomahawk launch platforms.
Then you slap in the W80 nuclear warhead and you got 175 Fletchers packing nuclear heat.
Speaking of chuuniboats...
pic related
>«RT if you think Essex is dangerous and needs to be confined.»
>>164433
And that is why you have literally what 6 people in this thread whom dont get it?
>>164442
But will it actually work... I'm not sure if the tubes were meant to take that kind of punishment
>>164433
Newsflash most people are not in fact versed in naval hardware.
>>164442
Which Fletchers are those?
«RT if you think Fronk is a lolicon.»
https://en.shindanmaker.com/272566
why this...
>>164449
Well, you remove the tubes and install dedicated Tomahawk launchers. They're not quite as invasive as VLS tubes.
>>164422
>>164448
No, it's literally been explained. The Leveling effect is really not as complicated as you people make it out.
Any ship that was top tier when it was built, is top tier now. Any ship that was meh when it was built is still meh, but it's meh by modern standards. They still have the limitations of their technology, but the leveling effect, well, levels the playing field.
>>164459
Yes
>>164445
How can this thing be so perfect? Aside from Willie, has it been wrong about anything?
«RT if you think planefag is a sadist.»
Because I don't think it has.
>>164420
Sudan, we did some fucking joint training and familiarization with them when they decided to get fucking involved against the ISIS-aligned fuckers in Yemen, back in.. shit. 17? Sounds right, it was right the fuck before we went into fucking Iraq for round 3.
>>164430
I did. She fucking wants one. Thinks it's cute as fuck.
>>164412
You know, I wonder just what Athabaskan's (our single fucking destroyer) shipgirl (or shipboy) would be like, given how goddamn cursed the ship is.
...
Fuck, we only have twelve (soon to be fucking ten) frigates, and way too much fucking coastline to cover for defense.
And our little pissy Kingston coastal-defense picket boats would get fucking mauled by a single Abyssal destroyer, being as shit-tier armed as they are.
No, fucking seriously:
>1 Bofors 40mm L/60
>2 M2 fucking Brownings
THAT'S FUCKING IT
«RT if you think GhostDivision is the biggest homo.»
My fucking sides.
>>164471
I want to know what the Ikea employees thought of the person who arranged these shots.
Or the line of people buying blue fish after watching the anime.
>>164466
It would make a Nimitz very powerful.
While a WW2 Kirov would get fucked over.
HOW DID I FORGET THAT
>>164470
My memory retention is not the best sometimes...
>>164472
It was wrong about Ice... claimed she was Yandere
>>164475
>I did. She fucking wants one. Thinks it's cute as fuck.
Just 200,000 pieces, maybe they can go ahead and pass the cost off as 'morale' related.
>>164476
To be fair, Canada's role for her navy should be arctic defense. We should have the biggest ships equipped for ice crushing and patrolling the northwest passage. Leave the rest of the pacific to Americans to defend.
>>164482
The BLÅHAJ is no longer for sale, sadly.
>>164492
I don't think there's that many.
>>164463
MERLIN FOR LEWDS CONFIRMED
![18r75ijipsnw9jpg[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/jUdHDdM.jpg "18r75ijipsnw9jpg[1].jpg")
>>164498
This one
>>164454
It's not hard to understand. If something was comparably powerful at its prime, it's powerful now against modern vessels. If it was something you didn't want to fuck with back then, you don't want to fuck with it now. If it was state of the art in its prime, you can guess how it is now. That is how the leveling effect works.
>>164509
That needs a display hall to build it in.
>>164045
Goto and Settle
>>164498
She is a state secret, so that appearance has never been made public.
http://www.brothers-brick.com/2009/04/09/lego-battleship-yamato-largest-lego-ship-ever-completed-after-6-years/
http://www.brickshelf.com/cgi-bin/gallery.cgi?f=114076
>Length: 6.6 meters (22 feet) from bow to stern
>Width: 1 meter (3 feet) at the widest point midship
>Scale: 1/40
>Time to complete: 6 years, 4 months
>Parts: 200,000 LEGO elements
>Weight: 150 kilograms (330 pounds)
>>164512
We can put it in the museum
>>164442
>My tabletop buddies actually mathhammered it out, and found out that tomahawk missiles are actually smaller and lighter than mk16 torpedoes Fletchers usually carried, meaning they could potentially become tomahawk launch platforms.
...well then.
>Then you slap in the W80 nuclear warhead and you got 175 Fletchers packing nuclear heat.
Oh great, now you got him fucking scheming.
>>164466
See, I thought it was OP because a modern ship-girl could get more missiles by literally just eating a large amount of food, as opposed to having to pull into port, summon her hull and re-arm manually. This would make her insanely cheap to operate when compared to a normal Burke.
>>164509
Oh shit! The crew!
I'm surprised the base hasn't just bought a bunch of Legos a communal thing. Everyone likes legos, it could be a nice thing to do while they repair.
Plus, a few hundred dollars for Legos--assuming the military can't negotiate some kind of discount--is a drop in the bucket for a military budget.
>>164520
I'd bet that missiles like that replenish a lot more slowly than things like fuel or gun ammo or WWw-vintage planes.
Still a logistic wunderwaffe compared to actually building them, but not overwhelming.
>>164529
lego + destroyers = apocalypse
Hey guys. What's shaking?
... Beyond "Oh my God, Katsuri just popped up."
>>164539
If you liken food to supplies, then either she'd need to eat as much as a carrier...
Or we'd actually need to start feeding her components.
Don't forget how pricy SMs, Tomahawks, and pretty much everything but guns are, Even ESSM aren't cheap, just comparatively cheap compared to others.
>>164529
Think how much Lego would pay for advertisement shot with Willy D or the DE playing Lego.
>>164567
We're in a closet (literally) and we're pinning Parker because he knew a modern shipgirl can appear and he didn't tell anyone.
>>164475
>Sudan, we did some fucking joint training and familiarization with them when they decided to get fucking involved against the ISIS-aligned fuckers in Yemen, back in.. shit. 17? Sounds right, it was right the fuck before we went into fucking Iraq for round 3.
You know, I was going to spin this off into a shitty 'time to get out of the Nile' joke, but this is quite interesting - more of your history.
>round 3
So much for 'no boots on the ground', eh?
>>164529
They probably do, Lego is popular over in Japan also so I expect them to be playing with quite a few sets.
>>164573
DesDiv 6 get legos, Wille gets Duplos for safety reasons.
>>164573
It better be something like out of 90's Lego commercials...
What I'd do for another Ice Planet set and TRANSPARENT ORANGE CHAINSAWS.
>>164586
>Ice Planet
God, I miss my old space rover set. I always wanted to get the wild west kit too, but they were bloody expensive.
>>164585
She can't hurt herself with Legos can she?
The worst thing she can do is let others step on it at night.
>>164475
You show her the Nanoblock kit of herself, BTW? http://www.amazon.com/Nanoblock-Technology-NB-004-Battleship-Yamato/dp/B001ET5NUI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1463094079&sr=8-1&keywords=nanoblock+yamato
You could probably get that at any toy store near the base for about fifty bucks...
>>164594
>The fuck is Duplo?
For children who can't be trusted with normal Legos.
>>164585
>Wille gets Duplos for safety reasons.
The mental image this conjures up is both sad and fucking adorable.
Truly the mark of best daughteru
>>164475
Does yams have a model of BBY-01 in her office (as "pam")? Or has she not seen any of the Space Battleship Yamato anime?
>>164443
If that isn't a shoop, damn you for all the Iowas you must have
>>164596
>>164562
But it might result in far less mayhem on base overall if the destroyers are all busy playing with Lego instead of getting into shenanigans...
>>164583
Long story short, after the fucking loudmouth pussy got out, we got someone who wasn't afraid to fucking actually let us, you know, kill shit and break things. And thank fucking god, cos I'd heard stories of the 'peacetime corps' and fuck everything about that shit.
>>164613
>>164608
We need to get her one, some flowers and shitloads of chocolate. That are full of rum.
>>164594
>The fuck is Duplo?
Double-sized Lego for young kids who can't be trusted not to swallow regular Lego.
>>164613
Oh, a safety lego
>>164613
Shipgirl naval mines are lego bricks coated in capsaicin
>>164640
>coated in capsaicin
I need no further proof that the devil exists.
>>164574
>We're in a closet (literally)
No, we're a sharp object away fro ma knifefight in a bathroom.
On the topic of Lego, I thought their whole deal was, "no official WWI or WWII stuff because the inventor was a pacifist? Wouldn't it go against that to have the personifications of WWII destroyers playing with them, cute though it would be (at least for some of them)?
>>164640
>Flame fougasse naval mines
>>164654
Then they made the Indiana Jones stuff, If that's not hypocrisy I don't know what is
>>164601
Merc, I've been meaning to ask, why do all Fletchers have such chunky braids?
To put a new spin on an old meme, how many BB's could you fit in the cargo bay of an AN-225?
Whose got the picture of the fishhook legos?
>>164675
charm point
>>164619
And then some capitalfucker starts going around base and kicking over everybody's ~sand-castle~.
>>164596
>The worst thing she can do is let others step on it at night.
A guard steps on a few Lego bricks, loses his balance, falls at just the right angle and busts his knee - and breaks his radio at the same time.
While he's on his way back to the closest checkpoint, a group of malcontents sneak onto the premises, with malevolent intentions regarding one of our command staff.
Either Settle has to shank someone again, or one of our aides is found dead the next morning, his throat slit open and his eyes - and ID card - missing.
Alternatively, the guard in question notices the lego pieces ahead, bends down to pick them up, and is assaulted by said incursive strike force, slain with no undue conflict, and the body shortly after hid somewhere while the rest of the combatants go after their primary objective.
All because *someone* didn't clean up after themselves.
>>164676
Someone bring up the tombstone generator... God knows this will be put on Planefag's grave as well
>>164668
Only tangentially related to World War Two. It's set in the era of such, but does not directly concern the war itself.
>>164675
Because Pixel willed it so.
But honestly they are just extrapolations of Willie's design.
>>164641
Man, when I was growing up in the 80s, I had Lego and my little brother had Duplo. Sometimes, I'd play with both, and figured out that I could actually put 2x2-stud full-height Lego bricks onto a single stud of a Duplo brick. It's double the dimensions, for eight times the volume. (Like how Nanoblock is half the dimensions of Lego bricks, for one-eighth the volume.)
>>164700
best BBgril
>>164641
Give Pam Everclear then
>>164654
Yet they're okay with other volient stuff (star wars, knights,etc)
Why haven't we just fixed Shigure by having Willie sleep on her and steal luck by osmosis?
>>164712
Why are you stirring shit up?
>>164725
She deals with Kongou on a daily basis and keeps shit running. She deserves a drink or ten.
>>164725
More like he wants to taste Hate's boot when it goes so far up his ass, its' in his mouth.
>>164723
I dunno about the osmosis thing but the pair-up could work. Shigure is a luck vampire but Wille has no luck to vamp on.
>>164711
>fanmade
Well there's your problem.
Fan-works are often not directly sponsored by the company. Sure, some people go and make their own creations, and that's all right - but it shouldn't be taken as a measure of company policy.
Looks like it's gonna be a big update
>>164743
That or he took 10 minutes to vent his rage somewhere.
On that note, I apologize for being an idiot and somehow forgetting how the levelling effect works.
I don't get how people keep misunderstanding the leveling effect. It's so intuitive.
It's literally a conversion manual. Specs don't matter, exact details don't matter, assuming the intent is the same. Chaff is meant to blind, so it gets converted to a language abyssals can understand. Missiles screw up because there's no parallel to their targetting fidelity, although if they're good enough they still hit pretty hard, pretty often.
Shipgirl Katsuri will have modern weapons, but modern =/= better with the leveling effect in play. If Katsuri was great in her prime, her missiles will hit more often for more damage, ect.
>>164752
>>164743
Watch as it turns out he's just been shitposting to Catte.
>>164732
She already helps herself to my booze.
Shit, I fucking told her she could.
She prefers Jim Beam. Straight up. Doesn't much care for beer, likes cider though. I got mom to send me some homemade peach wine a while back, I got... one glass? She fucking annihilated that.
>>164758
Thank you for the clearest explanation of the Leveling Effect posted thus far.
I hope it is correct.
“... why didn't you tell me?”
“Tell you what!?” Parker snaps. “Tell you what!? I don't even know what you think I know-”
“Alive.”
The whisper fills the sterile little space to bursting. Parker meets your eyes for a split-second, and the fear in them is met with a shiver from your own spine.
He rubs his face with both hands. “Jesus.”
“Yeah.”
Another silence.
“All of them?”
“I was listening to Mustin humming 'anchors aweigh' not twenty minutes ago,” Parker says, his voice so low you're scarce sure you heard him.
“Jesus,” you repeat, your voice a hoarse whisper. The white walls are pressing in on you, closing on your throat. “How long have you known?”
“Few nights after I refined the algorithm,” he mutters. “Heard a freighter whistling... I, just fucking said that, out loud.” He smacks his forehead with the heel of one hand. “This isn't happening.”
“This isn't happening,” you repeat.
“This can't fucking happen.”
“It's on fucking TV,” you retort.
Parker slams his heel into the door behind him violently, and says nothing. You've nothing to say, either - your head feels empty, almost adrift, the full implications too awesome - and too terrible - to fully grasp in this moment. Without asking, you know Parker's been ignoring it - shoving it far to the back of his mind to focus on every other task, every other pressing matter his expertise is so desperately needed for.
You can't blame him.
>>164766
How's she hold her drinks? Is she out in one or can she drink a lot?
>>164766
>Jim Beam
“Can we get the fuck out of here?” Parker growls. When you decline to object, he reaches behind him and leans on the handle, the lock disengaging automatically. You both stumble backwards out of the bathroom to find Kongou popping something white and coney into her mouth.
“... Kongou?”
“Mmmhmm?” she asks, smiling widely without parting her lips.
“... what's in your mouth?”
“Hmmm, mmmm, ummm?” she says, shrugging while trying to chew very surreptitiously. You slide your gaze towards the water cooler in one corner - and the stack of paper cones stacked to one side of it.
“Hmm dumm knowmm whhmm thatmm ishmm?!” Kongou tries, then swallows with visible difficulty. “Are you thirsty, Yankeetoku?”
A light clitterclatter of nails on tile echoes from the door as a corgi comes trotting in - sans outfit, but still sporting a little white sailors hat nonetheless. It gambols over to the sagging sofa where Parker's parked himself, seats itself, and stares up at the intel weenie expectantly. After a few seconds of Parker staring through the floor, it flattens its ears back and chuffs once.
Parker blinks; bleary eyes focusing slowly on the mutt. “... McHale.”
The dog barks once. Yes, that is indeed my name, so kind of you to remember.
“... come.” The word's scarce left his mouth before the dog's landing in his lap, turning in a few circles to properly cover his uniform shirt with dog hair before settling down contentedly, his little cap staying on with supernatural ease. As Parker begins to stroke his back absentmindedly, you drop your own hand onto Willie's shoulder and squeeze it reassuringly.
“... Settle.”
“Yeah.”
“It's not enough to work with,” he says flatly, stroking the dog slowly.
“No.”
“You know I can't... do much. They've got every spook-ass-sumbitch in the Alphabet Agencies chewing this one over, all of them cleared higher than I d-”
“I can take care of that.”
“Lately, I~'ve been hating losin sleep,” Parker sing-songs in an awful, raspy voice. “Dreamin about the leave that we could see, but Chief I've been workin hard, because no more cushy hours when we've been countin stars...”
You blink. “Uh-”
“Count your stars,” Parker says quietly. “You're a few short for that.”
“Got the lyrics wrong. It's 'lovin prayin hard',” you correct him. (You think.) “Just need someone to pray to.”
“And you've got one?”
“Damn tootin.”
“... I read you. Shake it loose, and I'll... do the things, you know?”
“Parker?”
“Yuh?”
“Go home.”
He shakes his head absently, still stroking the dog. “Still too much to-”
“Parker, that's-” you feel the word die in your throat at the purity of his sardonic stare; withering the cliche on your lips. You turn to your Marine. “Hate.”
“Hmm?” he says, turning away from a vending machine with his face full of Mrs. Vickies Jalapeno Chips.
“Parker needs a nap,” you say. “Do you have your sleepy stick?”
“Yrhrrm!” he confirms, producing a spring-loaded baton from his back pocket like magic.
“Marine tested,” you say, “and doctor approved!”
Parker blinks, too tired to process the humor. “What, really.”
You feel the dull, dour reality of it descend on you. “Actually, yes.”
“... oh,” he says airly. “Oh. Okay. I'll... just for a while.”
“I'll leave you to it.”
He nods at you, saluting the empty space where you were standing. Guiding Willie towards the door (under her own locomotion,) you're stopped at the threshold by a last interjection. “Willie!”
She stops, shivering under your hand as if she's expecting a reprimand.
“Remember to keep your guard up when you jab, okay?”
“O-o-ohk-k-k-kay,” she stammers.
Hate follows you into the hallway again, happily munching on his chips. Kongou has wandered away to chat with the Marine guarding the Even More Secure Area, and he seems to be enjoying it immensely. Kongou waves him goodbye and comes hopping over to you, her Styrofoam cup of tea still in hand.
“Hey,” you say.
“Yankeetokou~” she sing-songs. “Have a good bongou in the bathroom with Parker-san?”
“Hate was too jealous of our love, so he interrupted,” you return absently, hearing the reflexive bird from Hate taking flight behind you. “Have a nice chat?”
“Oh yes,” Kongou says as she walks beside you towards the door. “Sgt. Wilkins is a very nice young man.”
“And what did he know?” you ask as you push the door open and hold it for her.
“Jack diddly DESS!” Kongou snarls as soon as she clears the threshhold. “Tell me! TELL ME!”
“Tell you what?”
She swoons limply and falls against your left arm, clutching it tightly as she dangles. Toes dragging in the grass as you stride towards the SUV, she moans - “Tellllllllll meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~”
“Is ss-s-something w-w-rong?” Willie stammers, shivering under your guiding hand.
“Wrong?” Shoukaku asks as she pops open the vehicle's door - she slipped ahead to steal shotgun. Or something else; you notice a smartphone vanishing into her pocket. Her face clouds almost immediately when she sees you. “... Ryan?”
You freeze.
So guys, Aoba arc when?
Shoukaku starts to curl inwards as she turns red, like a folded paper crane set alight.
“RYAN!?” Kongou exclaims.
“What?” you snap, shaking your arm to try and dislodge her. “WHAT?”
“RYYyyYYyyYYYyyYYyaaaAAaaaAAAnnnn!?” her voice oscillates mockingly. “YOU HAVE A FIRST NAME, DESS!”
“It's fake,” Hate informs her drolly as he pockets the crumpled-up chip bag. “He dropped out of the CNO's brasshole as a fully-formed turd, he never had a childhood.” He grabs one of her hands and pries it off your arm easily, thrusting her styrofoam cup into it. “And don't hand me shit like that, I'm not yer fuckin maid.”
“You wouldn't look any good in the outfit anyway!” Kongou sniffs.
“If it wasn't tea I would've chugged it just to show you,” he bitches, still sore over having to help someone without it being his idea. He barrels into the back of the SUV without breaking stride, slamming the door against the heat harshly, and sprawls over the backseat in a way that brooks no dissent.
“It's coffee,” Kongou sniffs imperiously. “Sgt. Wilkins saw I was out of tea and gave me a refill!”
“Well, shit,” Hate says. “Want me to hold it for you again?”
“Sure~” Kongou says sweetly. “Just sit up and cup your hands around your groin for me, dess~”
“Never outside of Thailand,” Hate opines before draping an arm over his eyes. He's limp and incommunicado within seconds.
With Willie safely ensconced between you and Shoukaku, you start the SUV's engine. The air conditioning roars to life, bathing you in its blessed cool wind. Above, seagulls wheel in aimless circles around the microwave tower, for no good reason you can name.
“... Admiral Settle?” Shoukaku asks with quiet politeness.
You keep staring at the tower.
“Admiral?”
“Huh?”
“Were we...”
Kongou's head appears between Shoukaku and Willie, thrust in from the rear seat. “Oooh, is this the part where you kissu, dessuuuuUUUUUUUUUUUU~” she complains as Shoukaku's elbow applies steady, firm pressure to push her back behind the seats. She never breaks eye contact with you. “Settle, is something wrong?”
You can't. No. You can't, not... not to her, not after everything you said last night, you can't even begin to admit to the fears creeping over you right now. But Willie is shivering silently beside you, her hands wrapped into a little ball in her lap as she tries to vanish into the seat cushions.
[ ] Confide in Shoukaku. She is asking, and... she deserves to know.
[ ] Confide in Willie. It might actually help her.
[ ] Confide in Kongou. She's not nearly as dumb as she seems, you know that.
[ ] Confide in Goto before anyone else. You need to see him about this. Now.
[ ] Confide in nobody. You need time to think this over. A lot more time.
>>164717
Could be factored in under fictional events.
And I can't believe you didn't mention that one 'violent' series that pretty much saved Lego from going bankrupt.
>>164782
As soon as youUNTZ UNTZ UNTZ UNTZ UNTZ
>>164773
Fairly fucking well, for navy.
>>164786
>[ ] Confide in Goto before anyone else. You need to see him about this. Now.
Disregard sluts, acquire stars
>>164780
>“Remember to keep your guard up when you jab, okay?”
Oh right, Willie does boxing every morning with Parker.
>[ ] Confide in Goto before anyone else. You need to see him about this. Now.
TASUKETE SENPAI
>>164789
Young.
Young no.
NO.
>>164786
>[x] Confide in Goto before anyone else. You need to see him about this. Now.
We need to talk with someone who thinks on our level.
Shoukaku can come later.
>>164786
>[x] Confide in Goto before anyone else. You need to see him about this. Now.
>>164786
>[ ] Confide in Goto before anyone else. You need to see him about this. Now
This is important. Since all ships are alive, perhaps other vehicles are too. It's every to think, isn't it?
>>164786
[X] Confide in Shoukaku. She is asking, and... she deserves to know.
Are we limited to one, here? There are a few who really should here this.
>>164786
>[ ] Confide in Goto before anyone else. You need to see him about this. Now.
>>164786
[X] Confide in Goto before anyone else. You need to see him about this. Now.
>>164786
>[X] Confide in Shoukaku. She is asking, and... she deserves to know.
>>164786
>[ ] Confide in Kongou. She's not nearly as dumb as she seems, you know that.
>>164758
>Missiles screw up because there's no parallel to their targetting fidelity,
Wait, what?
>>164786
>[x] Confide in Goto before anyone else. You need to see him about this. Now.
Fuck formals. Fuck Dress Mess. and FUUUCCKK WHAT DID I MISS?!
