The life of a regular Domino's customer was saved by the pizza chain after staff grew concerned that he hadn't placed an order with them in 11 days.
Oregon Live reports that Tracey Hamblen, the Salem store's assistant manager, decided to call 911 after customer Kirk Alexander – who has been ordering pizza from them for over a decade – went quiet.
Before calling authorities, Hamblen had even travelled to Alexander's address where lights and a television were on, but no one answered the door.
Sheriff's office spokesman Lt. Chris Baldridge said Alexander, 48, was found with a life-threatening medical condition in his home, and was unable to get help when Marion County sheriff's deputies arrived, according to Oregon Live.
Jenny Seiber, another assistant manager at Domino's, said that Alexander doesn't always order pizza from the store, also choosing pasta, sandwiches and wings.
Alexander – who is said to suffer from severe health problems – is currently in a stable condition at Salem Hospital.
Is he fat?
they should have left the fat piece of shit to die
thanks pizza
God bless America
>>73774919
> Severe health problems
I.e. morbid obesity.
>>73774919
>another assistant manager at Domino's, said that Alexander doesn't always order pizza from the store, also choosing pasta, sandwiches and wings.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA FUCKING NICE
so they literally breached his privacy cause they want him to buy more pizza?
>>73774919
This is the best thing i have heard all day. 'Murica!
>Tfw no pizza will come save me when I need help
>>73775027
Seriously this. So sad but these people are embarrassments to their families.
>>73774919
Why are Americans so disgustingly fat?
I'm about to throw up thinking about how this man lives and eats.
god dammit
Dominos is shit. La favorita and papa johns are superior.
>>73775369
I went to McDonald's today and got a Filet-O-Fish combo with a bacon cheeseburger on the side. I was eating it in my vehicle in the parking lot and listening to an audiobook when I glanced up and saw the McDonald's worker I ordered outside having a cigarette.
She waved at me and I nodded and had to wait 7 minutes before she went back inside and I could eat in comfort again. I don't think that employees should be bothering or even trying to socialize with customers outside of the McDonald's restaurant or drive through, but that is another story.
I went to McDonald's for dinner tonight and got a McChicken combo with a bacon cheeseburger on the side. As I was driving to the second window the same girl was still working. She was acting somewhat obsequious and attempting small talk when she asked, 'why don't you come eat inside instead of in the parking lot where it is cold'.
That really bothered me for many reasons. First of all, I don't want my routine or actions to be tracked by a fast food employee. Secondly, she should not try to tell me how I should live my life. I do not want to eat inside because I find it less comfortable and would much rather be inside my vehicle listening to an audiobook and enjoying myself and my privacy.
Overall, I think it was very unprofessional to bring this up. I should have a clean slate with each drive through visit, not have to get the third degree because I committed some sort of faux pas. Which I don't think I did, because I often see people eating in fast food parking lots. How does she know I am not busy going to work or somewhere in a rush?
How do you feel about eating in your vehicle in the parking lot of a fast food restaurant versus eating inside the restaurant?
>>73774919
>Alexander – who is said to suffer from severe health problems
Of course he fucking does, he eats pizzas to the point the staff get concerned when he doesnt kek
>>73775446
Wow, rare!
It's funny, this, no doubt, fat fuck's addiction to Domino's nearly kills him, yet Domino's save him too.
>>73774919
> Jenny Seiber, another assistant manager at Domino's, said that Alexander doesn't always order pizza from the store, also choosing pasta, sandwiches and wings.
...this can't be real. wow. Just....America.
> Never miss a chance do you.
>>73775509
You just broke my autism meter, you fat fuck.
>>73775509
Jesus dude, are you so fucking fat and lazy that you're known at McDonlads? Cook for yourself you fucking autist
>>73775446
Even worse, he was eating their pasta
>>73774919
>>73775446
agreed. papa johns is by far superior.
>severe health problems
>eats dominos constantly
checks out
>>73775509
>I don't want my routine or actions to be tracked by a fast food employee
watch out shes going to report you to the lizard people
>>73775509
Goddamn pasta kek, good to know we still have a few oldies on here.
Still kek'd though.
>>73775742
>>73775446
I LOVE THE GARLIC BUTTER SAW
>>73774919
Dog bless the United States of America
*claps while jets fly over dropping hamburgers*
>>73775742
papa johns wouldn't get you out of a tight spot like it happened with this guy
>>73775509
Wow I haven't read that in a while. Sup oldfag.
>>73775509
Nice to see pasta from /ck/ getting around.
Murica.
where cops being sent to your house if you stop ordering fast food
>>73775678
>>73775723
newfags
>>73775509
Nice pasta
>>73774919
I'm actually surprised the police answered to the call, it's not like they were relatives or close friends.
Just when I thought I was out... they pull me back in.
That's actually pretty cool. I mean it's fucking weird as shit but it's nice to know that even if you're just a fucking customer, you may still be noticed. I certainly know if I was stuck in my house i'd be happy if my grocery store noticed I didn't show up for a few weeks.
>Order Pizza
>Mandatory 5 dollar tip
>Stop ordering Pizza
>EMT's pick you up
>That'll be 35,000 dollars + Tip
He could just be fat but I know I always wondered where my regulars were or if something happened when I bartended and waited tables. If you come in at least once a week, particularly if you had certain days or time the staff are probably wondering what happened if you aren't there
>>73775027
And stop a major source of their revenue? I don't think so
>>73775958
Yea, its the first thing that came to mind when I saw the thread and then I couldn't help posting it when I saw the privacy comment.
>>73774919
>Alexander – who is said to suffer from severe health problems
Live by the pizza, die by the pizza.
god bless america
>>73774919
>Domino's pizza saves fat customer after killing him with junkfood for over a decade
>>73775906
I'll tell you when I've had enough.
>>73776727
RIP in peace David Bowie
>>73775509
There's something wrong with your mind.
>>73776083
I used to work at a pizza place.
This guy named Randy ordered at least 3 times a week.
Delivery.
That shit adds up, he was easily our best customer.
And he was probably a minimum wage earning middle aged man.
Every delivery driver knew this guy, who was also a drunk.
One day we were curious how much money Randy had spent at our pizza shop.
We pulled up his profile on the computer and he had spent over $12 FUCKING GRAND in 12 months.
He was easily our best fucking customer.
Some one said to give Randy a free sandwich and a thank you one time.
The beaner/jew boss shot the idea down and said no.
>12 FUCKING THOUSAND DOLLARS on pizza and misc shit
>>73775509
This is some great pasta because I feel like I can eeriely relate...
has /pol/ degenerated into a fucking /b/ blog? what the fuck does this have to do with POLITICS in any way?
>>73776918
I had something similar happen at my local dominos. I ordered from them once every 2 weeks for like three or four years. I knew the delivery guy really well (immigrant loo, but middle aged and just trying to keep his family alive, really nice guy), and he brought me an extra 2 liter once for being such a good customer, then said, and I quote
"please don't tell my boss, he'd kick my ass". I was smiling and trying not to laugh, but you better believe I reported that manager to corporate for being a fucking fag. I don't know if he ever got fired but the store is a lot cleaner and the pizzas come out a lot faster now, when I order (rarely anymore, shit got too expensive for how small it is)
>>73775402
3 keks
>>73777112
It is a fucking news article you fake aryan
>>73775025
He's american so most likely.
>>73775652
Every food delivery place in America has got someone who's a a shut-in for one reason or another who orders every single day.
>>73775937
I've been here 9 years, you fucking monkey.
>>73777149
Lol my sides, serves that guy right for thinking it was okay to steal, and then try to pass it off to you.
>>73775027
Why let a loyal customer die on you?
>>73775509
Haha! Been like 3 years since I last saw this pasta! Well timed my friend. I haven't read the responses yet but I'm sure people here are butthurt as fuck.
>>73775192
I was already at the edge of busting into laughter from this thread and this just me over the edge.
This world man.
>>73776577
>pizza
>fork
Burn him at the stake!
>>73776082
Underrated post.
>>73775509
Now we know why you eat alone in the cold parking lot you autist.
>>73777404
He reported the manager not the delivery guy
>>73775566
the domino givith and the domino taketh.
>>73776918
>Some one said to give Randy a free sandwich and a thank you one time.
>The beaner/jew boss shot the idea down and said no.
The Jew is wise.
When a customer spends more than he should it's best not to remind him of that fact.
>>73777449
Tenth Rule of Acquisition:
"A dead customer can't buy as much as a live one."
>>73774919
that's really nice
makes a change
>>73777333
Nice double triple
Checked
>lived alone eating pizza
Yeah, I'm sure they'll find lots of pizza if the look around his house.
>>73776181
>>73775509
Holy shit, I thought this level of social anxiety wasn't possible
>>73775509
> I don't want my routine or actions to be tracked by a fast food employee.
This, seriously.
I was a pizza delivery boy and found a dead body once.
>Guy orders pizza right before closing.
>Boss tells me to take it, make it, and deliver since he was close.
god damnit, well least I wont have to clean up.
>Its 11 or so, maybe before 11.
>Get to dumpy trailer, knock, no answer.
>Look in window.
>I see a shadow.
>Follow shadow to man hanging from the fucking ceiling.
OH JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!
>Try to kick door in, shits dead bolted tighter then a motherfucker.
>Eventually get in, cops are coming though cause neighbors think I am a robber.
>HANDS UP MOTHERFUCKER OR WE WILL KILL YOU!
>Screaming "theirs a guy fucking hanging help!"
>Hand cuffed, thrown in car.
>They even fucking processed me.
they stuck me with a fucking B/E charge but my lawyer got it thrown out.
They think the guy wanted somebody to find his body then chickened out because "somebody else finding corpse"
>>73775369
Unlike in your shithole of a country, most people in the US tend to build relationships with one another. Throw in the fact that the human brain is the best pattern recognition machine out there and poof, someone who has been doing something regularly stops doing it without word or reason, and yes there would be cause for concern. Sounded like a nice older gentleman they got along with fairly well.
>>73775509
Autism
I'm sorry, but did Jeb Bush already lose? Oh, that's right. The election isn't even over yet. In fact, it's only January. Does not having the lead in December count as a loss? Is that what you're saying? Because if you're saying that I can assure you that you're wrong. Why would you make this argument when the election is still on? Jeb Bush is still campaigning right now and he has been the best funded candidate for how many months now? They're running against one of the worst candidates in America who just happens to have a lead because he's feeding off the energy of debating on the main stage. But you know what? He still fucking sucks. Jeb Bush is one of the best fucking candidates in the field. Maybe you should shut the fuck up before you make retarded statements like this. You know why? Because you're going to be embarrassed when the Jeb wins and someone links the archive. Oh look at that, Trump just made a huge verbal gaffe, just like Howard Dean did. Are you a fucking drunk? Are you retarded? Are you autistic? You are a fucking idiot and you should never make a topic on this board again and I'm fucking serious. I almost have a feeling you're the only guy making all these anti-Jeb topics because you're a faggot hater who doesn't like him because he's successful. Fuck you, be good at something in YOUR life and then maybe try to troll these fucking teams on the board, like I give a fuck. It's so easy to spot out your threads now, you're a retard. Always doing stupid shit like this. Why don't you try to be a good poster? Just for once? For once in your fucking life try not to make a topic like this. That's just you, you're always right at getting it wrong. Fuck you. You are nothing.
>>73775362
>>73777313
>seiber
>>73775509
>>73776918
>The beaner/jew boss shot the idea down and said no.
Shamefur dispray. No wonder he can't do better than managing a pizza joint.
Wow this seriously pissed me off, pathetic.
>>73775509
You chose just the right time to reheat this old pasta.
>>73774919
>orders pizza regularly for over a decade
>first name basis with the staff
>pizza chain forecast his orders and gets it right 99% of the time
Death would have set that man free.
>>73775509
This is copy pasta but i cant remember when i first read it
>>73774919
How did he survive 11 days in whatever 'severe medical problem' state he was in?
>>73775446
>tfw we're mostly invaded by the forever extra oily Pizza Hut
>>73780303
Since the article dosent state everything and he orders from them almost daily its this.
>Fucker is morbid obese and cant move without assistance.
>Prolly fell the fuck over and couldn't get up.
>>73779294
>Police departments in the US will not hire prospective applicants as officers unless those applicants lack the ability to think logically and compassionately, a former CIA contractor has confirmed.
>“There is a policy here in the United States that people of a relatively high IQ are not allowed to become police officers,” said former CIA contractor Steven Kelley in an interview with Press TV.
>Evidently if an applicant shows signs of relatively high IQ — with excellent logical analytic abilities and a sense of compassion — that applicant will be weeded out of the hiring process.
>>73775509
Go ba>>>/ck/ right away and never return.
>>73776918
Actually it was a good idea , just think about it , hey Randy , we would like to offer you this free sandwich because you're a fat fuck who have spent over 12 FUCKING THOUSAND DOLLAR in 12 months
it bad for business because that guy would probably re-think his life , like wtf i spent 12 grand in this store , think of all the think i could have spent them at
>>73775509
*tips autism*
>>73780958
FUCK OFF , i'm the sandnigger of pol , go be a sandnigger somewhere else
>>73781041
Moroccans are all welcome. You were the first country to acknowledge our independence.
Why did we stop being friends?
>>73775446
Rare
>>73774919
Only in America
>self hate
>>73781041
No U
>>73775369
>Guy who's a regular customer stops all contact
Wouldn't that be considered suspicious in the Netherlands? It's usually polite for a long-term customer to tell the chain himself that he won't be buying from them anymore, they don't just drop off the Earth.
>>73779110
>go to the same place twice in a twelve hour period
>someone notices
NSA GET OUT REEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>73775509
Lotta newfags today. Is school out already?
Great pasta though, because I believe a literal autist unironically wrote this.
>>73777112
last i checked, obesity epidemic is current event here in the states.
In germany, its a ficki ficki epidemic.
>>73774919
>Eat a pizza every day
>Have health problems
Really? Who'da thunk it.
>>73775509
I somehow relate. Like, why would anyone want to eat with other people? As long as I remember i've preferred eating alone without anyone staring me or crunching their food next to me.
You don't take a fucking shit in group so why would you want other people to see you eat?
>>73781749
>doesn't understand the purpose of social meals
>Finland
Checks out.
>eat lunch at a local pub everyday
>staff knows me by name
>occasionally they'll even pay for my meal
>decide to stop going there
>no one is concerned about me
>tfw people are more concerned about some fat domino's guy than me
>>73781868
There's a level of disconnect there.
Pizza guy is too fucking fat to go to the pizza joint to pick up his stuff, and the staff knows it. They were clearly able to deduce something wasn't right.
You, on the other hand, are ambulatory, so you're up to the responsibility of getting food yourself, and the pub is aware of this. They respect your privacy and preferences. In fact, they probably miss you.
>>73775937
Nah, we just dont go to /cUCk/
>>73779130
Actually top navy seals have statistically very low instances of ptsd.
>>73776212
Underrated. Made me kek
>>73782815
Navy seals are not often used in the thick of things so to speak. They do lots of little jobs that require finess but they arent trained on how to dig in and go to ground like green berets are. Green berets are actually TRAINERS first and foremost, diplomats second and fighters third. They spend their time in the shit for long periods which is really stressful.
>>73775025
>domino's regular and an american
>severe health problems at 48
>"is he fat?"
The likelihood of him being fat are extremely high. You probably shouldn't aim to become a detective.
>>73775509
i know this is a pasta but yeah for some reason why does employees track customers?
I always got people automating my orders if i patron the same place more than 5 times
For over a decade? What a fat pizza shit.
>>73775723
In my early years at uni I went to subway so often that they would just start making my order when they saw me enter.
>>73774919
I fucking love Americans sometimes.
>>73776181
Shiet I wish $5 tip was standard. Only whites tip that much, sometimes. Ive had whites tip upwards of $15. Niggers and spics tip $1 if they are gracious enough to not stiff. Young women are also the worst tippers, transcending race.
Still make 400k annually 9'5" with a 1" cock so life aint bad
>>73774919
I'm sorry to admit this ForeignBros but Dominos is like my one addiction. Their pizza can be fucking incredible, especially after smoking some weed. I have to limit myself to once a month or I would blow the fuck up.
>>73775025
Only mentally unwell people like Domino's Pizza
>>73781417
What?
Maybe I'm autistic as fuck, but I sure as fuck didn't go around to the subway to tell them I wasn't going to eat there twice a week any more.
I just stopped.
Same with shopping.
If I move, I'm not dropping by to tell the person working the checkout counter I'm off.
Besides, the turnover in those places is so high that I don't know them.
>>73777688
>>73780868
Nah, a simple thank you gift for being such a regular customer isnt bad. No need to tell the amount spent, just acknowledging their existence builds stronger relations. Not sure what the culture is like where you live, but in the US relationships like that are more important than making an extra $2. I wouldnt expect free gibs, but you better believe Ill appreciate an establishment that hands me gibs just because they like having my business.
>>73776082
D U N K
U
N
K
>>73776577
>no cheese
Lactose intolerant? Clearly unfit to be president.
>>73774919
>11 days
>he fucking survived by metabolizing his own disgusting fat body for a week
Wow
>>73775509
You're so neurotic, reading your post made me anxious.
>>73787138
Obese people could survive for months only drinking water and metabolizing their bodyfat.
>>73775446
Papa bless
>>73785073
They aren't the worst ever since their big overhaul a few years back, but for this has been a regular customer for over a decade so he ate that shit when it was awful.
>>73775785
My sides anon
>>73781662
Last picture with the measuring tape. Hearty kek.
>>73774919
Definitely a seasoned lurker
>>73775446
You're obviously a Scot.
>>73774919
That's weird.
Salem's Domino's is complete shit, I can't imagine anyone ever being a regular there especially when Abby's is available.
>>73784965
Asians tip too much in my area.
When I was working delivery every single Chinese immigrant would try to tip me and extra $30 for a $30 meal. Kept refusing them because it made me feel bad.
>>73774919
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gW2D_Votd2Y
>>73774919
PIZZA TIME!
>>73777296
ouch ;_;
>>73779294
>they stuck me with a fucking B/E charge
No good deed goes unpunished.
They are not there to save-protect people. They are there to incriminate you.
I am now a
#Domino'sMissile
>>73774919
>decided to call 911
Why would you call emergency services for a passing suspicion that someone might possibly be in harm's way? Why not call the police department?
Also: who /pastabowl/ here?
>>73774919
This falls squarely between heartwarming and disgusting.
>>73777149
I feel bad for him, but yea, don't fucking steal from your workplace. I would get pissed off if I was the manager.
Good thing they saved his life so he can get back to ordering the dominos that was killing him in the first place
Capitalism saves lives.
Checkmate, commies
>>73775428
>mexico
>current obesity world champion holder
Not saying we're doing much better, but you've got to understand you have no place to talk shit, gordo.
>you will never be a fat American who's a known regular at a fast food chain
JUST
