https://archive.is/fgy6l
https://archive.is/Y1bNe
To think this site used to actually be decent baka
>>59994239
Reads like a sad reddit post
Media is so fucking garbage these days
>>59994239
So much liberal salt, they just can't accept someone with different opinions and ideals to even exist.
HAHAHAHAHOHOOOOHOHOHOHOOHOO POOOPIES POOP POOOOP HIPPOS GO POOPP AND FARTS AND THEN IT NO POOOOOPP HAHAHAHAHAHA ANOTHER SLAM DUNK FROM CRACED
>>59994239
I know we aren't supposed to go to the site, but I had to. Those comments. Oh God, the comments. It's like copy-pasting a particularly leftist Gawker blog and editing it to be more pro-Hillary.
Cracked used to be so funny, so interesting. Now it's literal garbage. Oh well, at least they're getting notably fewer readers. When I stopped reading em, viewcounts topped 1 mil all the time. Not their top is at 750k lel
>>59994786
Ted Cruz is going to get the nomination. Not shilling, but this is the reality.
>>59994834
I gave up on that shitfest when they started shitting on gun owners and defending the Five Guys bitch. I used to really like cracked too.
>>59995000
>Five Guys bitch.
>Five
nice
>>59994834
That's why I posted the archive.is links. Lurk moar.
>>59995000
Five thousand more posts lads
>five guys
>five thousand more posts
>>59995000
Same. Goobergate is a big reddit shitfarm shitting all over itself but it was good at beating the rats out of the woodwork at least.
>>59995000
IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES IT GOES
>>59994977
He'll get 15% of delegates max, mostly from the Bible Belt. He probably wont even get a VP spot from Trump.
>>59994239
>He won't win
It's like they are so mad. Saying he won't win will make it so, and make me feel batter, tantrum over
>>59995383
>He probably wont even get a VP spot from Trump.
That would be a terrible move on Trump desu senpai.
>>59995071
>>59995299
>>59995311
>>59995370
Holy shit, I never get gets
>cracked logo becomes the new ben garrison
make me proud /pol/
>>59995681
Those gets belong to the elite upperclass citizen. Instead of gets you only get grime.
>unironically justifying white guilt
>>59994239
>let's be clear
You can tell who the brainwashed ones are when they adopt their new god's mannerisms.
Same goes for Trump spergs.
How bad will the liberal butthurt be if (when) Trump gets elected? Serious answers, will there be a mass exodus, nonstop media temper tantrum, or even a suicide or two?
Trump has been retweeting a lot of stuff about weed lately. He WILL get the DUDE vote.
>>59995603
Trump does not need Cruz as his VP. There are much better choices. Cruz brings nothing valuable to the table.
Webb would be a much better VP choice. He brings Virginia, disgruntled Dems, veterans, and foreign policy expertise. Cruz brings Evangelicucks who aren't even needed in the Trump coalition anyway.
>>59994239
The shilling is hilarious. Love how butthurt people get about Trump.
>>59995786
I am now of the patricians. You can't stop this.
Muh
>>600000000
>cracked
>>59995897
The result of a Trump victory will make it look like the left actually loved GW.
>>59995902
Once it's up on the table it's hard to fight against weed since nearly everyone smokes it or has smoked it. It'd just be a cripple for him to try and stop it now.
>>59995853
but low energy is a great insult. obama just speaks slowly and with condescension
>>59995897
It will be unprecedented.
I wouldn't be surprised if there are suicides involved.
>>59994239
I miss Seanbaby
>>59994239
Cucked.com
Was genuinely pissed they turned into the shit heap they have.
>>59995847
>it gets worse
>>59994834
I have a running threoy that the reason these sites have flipped to the SJW narrative is because SJW are less likely to use ad block.
>>59995897
>>59996123
>>59996211
So are all of you ready for all the liberals, baby boomers, and establishment republicans to commit suicide when Trump is elected?
>>59996253
Seanbaby was the best. He'd have me teary eyed and short of breath from laughter every fucking time, even if it was a retread of that retard writing relationship help books, it was still gold
>>59995897
They'll criticize him on social media a lot and do nothing else.
Liberals don't actually follow through on any of their ideals. In fact I bet you wouldn't be able to find a modern liberal who would die to defend their beliefs, you'd sooner find one who would abandon them in favor of their shitty social circle.
It'll just be another generation of "If Nixon wins I'm moving to Canada!" and then they stay and bitch about Nixon for his entire term and never leave or do anything at all.
>>59996269
Tell me what cracked used to be like before the dark times senpai
>>59996288
>Right now, there's some toddler with a brain capable of curing cancer, and we're never going to know because he was born in inner-city Detroit, and he's going to go to a bullshit school and grow up with no positive role models. And the moment he commits a misdemeanor as a teenager, society is going to declare him a lost cause and flush him away. The process intended to discover his talent, cultivate it, and get him into a lab curing your cancer is still in shambles. Please note that it's just as tragic if, instead of curing cancer, his best-case scenario is to grow up to be a good friend and father while doing oil changes at Jiffy Lube.
Jamal's gonna cure your cancer, /pol/
You better start supporting black communities.
>>59996385
I have hand lotion ready to jack off to the event. Let's not forget the collective shit Europe will take also when Trump gets it.
>>59996385
>baby boomers
They're his biggest support
>establishment republicans
They'll vote him if the alternative is Hillary
>>59996211
I am pretty curious about the psychology behind it. I know liberals like to say "most Americans support X" as a standard go to for many arguments, but I wonder how that would stand up after Trump is swept into office? Or the inevitable deluge of tear stained rants from both single users and news sites having a long term effect on the liberal mindset, or even core beliefs. Will it alienate softer liberals? Will any of the hardliners actually act on all those twitter threats?
Dare I hope for Trump to rouse a militia to out such dissidents?
>>59996385
Absolutely.
Leftists can NOT handle losing on such a scale. They will be broken in every way imaginable.
>>59996569
There was a giant MMA fighter with a bright blue Mohawk named Seanbaby, and he was very funny. Crackedtv had a segment by Michael Swaim that was also very funny
>>59996569
they should have an archive you can go back to
first it was random interesting/funny facts, a lot of historical stuff, then the middle stage was more about popular movies and tv shows, boring fan theories and circle jerking about 80s movies and whatnot, then it started morphing into...this
>>59996569
They were more or less as accurate about facts as they are now, a level less than even Snopes, but they were at least entertaining about it and not trying to push some agenda.
It was like listening to a really good bullshitter.
>>59994834
Its the Steven Colbert report, they don't seem to care that they cut their ratings by 25% or even more in some cases by completely alienating right wing viewers/readers.
David Letterman, a lot of people despise the guy but at least he somehow was a democrat without making all right wing folks feel like total morons 24/7.
I think its millennials or Gen X something, like they have a very us against them mindset, Boomers were more cynical and just wanted your money whomever you were so they tried to pretend to like you.
Now media is so fractured that there isn't an attempt to allow everyone in, there is a specific POV and no attempt to broaden it ever.
>>59996770
Are they? Pretty much every conservative in their age-range, from my first-hand experience, has been crying about how Trump is a "democratic plant."
>>59994786
Umm hippos kill as mmany people in Africa as Muslims. Hippie are fucking terrifying.killing machines. I would rather walk into a lion den dressed in a lady GaGa meat suit tthen.piss off a hippo
>>59995847
do people not realize that slavery dragged the us economy back and delayed industrialization for like fucking 90 years?
Not to mention the split economy and socio-economic differences between agrarian south and industrial north caused a fucking civil war
>>59996569
Cracked TV and Does Not Compute were pretty funny shows
I hope people are screencaping all the anti trump posts and articles so that they can post them when he wins.
>>59996791
Progressives are the Tea Party equivalent for the democrats. These lefty extremists were a poison pill for the party.
In addition to that, the democrats have chosen a foolish hill to die on (gun control).
The pendulum is already swinging back and it's swinging back hard The democrats have lost nearly 1000+ state legislature seats under Obama's administration. Now they will lose the executive branch.
>>59997166
There were also far FAR FAR more white indentured servants and chinese laborers treated far worse than black slaves.
Blacks were more or less a political pet, even when forced to work they didn't contribute jack fucking shit to anything.
>>59996385
That's a pretty big voting block my man. Probably more than the right wing autist vote.
>>59996959
oh man i forgot he's still on the air, used to be a big fan but i couldn't get through the first episode of the new show...has it just gone even more downhill?
remember harvey birdman? remember?
>>59994239
What's the target audience for this yellow journalistic garbage? 12-13? Gifs of a hippo fanning its shit and "poop" to describe someone?
The article looks and reads (for what I barely read) like a popup book that I had as a child.
>>59997572
Ha ha haaa...Multiple entendre!
Election night is going to be interesting.
>>59996288
The whole white guilt thing is the dumbest fucking thing ever.
Who kept black people out of schools? Democrats and the Federal government. Who owned black slaves? Democrats and the Federal government. Who started the KKK? Democrats who ran the Federal government. Who stalked black protesters in the '60s using the federal government and abusing the FBI? Democrats.
Who is keeping down black people and fueling racism today?
I'll let you fucking guess.
>>59997892
The whole election is going to be interesting. It already is.
>>59997257
https://youtu.be/sxChr1OlqIw
I used to enjoy this one
>>59996288
But Rome was enriched on the back of my German ancestors.
Where my check nigga?
Oh wait but this is Slavery™ where only Blacks™ were enslaved by Whites™ who, naturally, invented the institution of Slavery™.
>>59994977
Who?
>>59995847
This kid is literally a byproduct of 'everyone get's a trophy' generation. All it is is whining dribble boohoo 'we didn't get first place, no fair' bullshit. baka
>>59996697
Cucked as he is, the writer makes a somewhat valid point. The part about being a good friend and father working at Jiffy Lube. It's very much possible to lead a fulfilling life in the lower class. Sure, maybe you're black and have a shitty school system. But if every (hypothetically cause this would never happen) black kid decided to hold down a lower middle class job as an adult and not become a drug dealer because "gotta get rich", we'd see much more black success stories. Black Lives Matter, sure, but just like with every life, it's up to the individual to make it matter.
Trump will never be stumped. It is impossible
This is now a Trump thread powered by the power of positivity.
TRUMP 2016
check 'em
As a complete sidenote, why do liberals get so triggered by smug animu girls anyway?
>>59994239
>cracked
Is that place seriously still around?
EVERYONE POST THAT TRUMP WILL WIN.
We can meme it into reality
>>59999091
You just want an ebin get.
>>59998737
He can't be stumped.
/sp/ get
>>59994239
Got less than 1 paragraph in, felt dumber and bored.
Couldn't finish.
>>59999048
>>59999269
STUMP UP THE JAM
>>59994377
Classic denial. Let the grief commence.
>>59999048
Because the internet is super serious business and any sort of implication that you're not taking their poorly spelled tirade against whites/straight people/men/Americans/guns/freedom/joy/love/normalcy as anything but totally legitimate is a trigger.
>>59996376
Ozfag may actually be on something.
Get
Trump 2016
>>59999394
Well of course not, they're not writing for you.
>>59999797
Yeah I figured, it's just funny that you see them specifically sperg out over "ANIME AVATARS OH MY GOD IT'S ALWAYS THOSE RACISTS WITH ANIME AVATARS"
Liberals and sjws still don't get
Neither does the GOP desu
>>59999501
>Germany was a mistake-Bismarck
>>59996288
Now that's some half baked philosophy if I've ever seen it.
>>59999879
Hmmm, considering most cucksites like Gawker have a bad habits of making heartfelt "we need to feed our kids" please to not use adblock, and the liberal groupthink, I'd say there might be merit to this idea.
I read this as the attempt was literally cracked into pieces of failure at a stump.
>>60000518
leftists are on twitter constantly
A bunch of alt-righters have made it their business to make twitter uninhabitable by leftists many use anime avatars
Seeing their safe space violated leftists proceed to chimpout
>>59994786
>The writing is worst just before the cliche'.
These guys are horrible for the most part. Daniel O'Brien and Michael Swaim are the only two decent contributors, they carry the rest and should, frankly, disassociate themselves from the other generic whiny college students and become a comedy duo.
Sure, Daniel is a neurotic bitch, but he's self-aware enough to compliment Michael's suave indifference. It's a classic formula for a comedy duo, but they still manage to make it their own by representing two extremes of online culture.
The rest are just so generic it hurts. You have that token feminist 'Kate' who is an unfunny cunt. "I'm so much better than these MALES omg, I don't contribute to the humour or originality in anyway but because I am a female in a typically male dominated subculture I reign supreme" Then you have the other chick, who is just 'the other chick' and has about as much personality as a plank of wood and in that respect is comparable to the blonde dude. The generic 'pretty boy' is, frankly, is actually pretty average looking.
Then there's the skinny hipster fuckwit with the glasses 'If it's talked about on tumblr, I'll cover it too' I can imagine him saying in a nasally tone. And some new, morbidly obese, guy who wears a castro hat and doesn't bother shaving. Recently they criticised Guy Fieri and it was like 'great job guys, you're really taking on the man here. you're showing us how much better you are for being critics of food critics. I mean, food critics? Absolutely fucking useless as you so rightly point out, but critics of food critics? You're doing God's work.'
All it is is clickbait for the most part, and Michael and Dan seem to be the only guys who actually give a fuck about quality content.
>When in doubt, lie.
I should expect as much, yet I'm still surprised they lack any self awareness.
>>59999048
>>59994786
I can already imagine what there hipster faggot writers look like
>>59994239
Who reads Cracked? They don't even write articles, they make lists.
>>59996569
people are just disillusioned as always, it's always had a similar crowd to the type that visit reddit. Once upon a time it was just rehashing overused shit, now it's just pushing liberal agendas.
>>60001555
>he had a private discussion with bill clinton
meanwhile obama's whole legacy is backroom deals yet liberals don't whine and bitch then
I found 4chan and never went back to cracked years ago, due to shit like pic related
>>59996959
>I think its millennials or Gen X something, like they have a very us against them mindset, Boomers were more cynical and just wanted your money whomever you were so they tried to pretend to like you.
I know what you mean. I saw a few people on Facebook judging the quality of movies by how much they affirmed their political beliefs. No one wants to appreciate art or media anymore; they only want to see their viewpoint advanced.
![header-mustache-gang[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/hubiFCa.jpg "header-mustache-gang[1].jpg")
>>60001661
They're the future of America! :^)
>>59995000
Same, they started spewing the same harrassment angle that all the shill media did
Shame because they used to do some funny stuff like DOB's self-insert stories
>>59995847
Why does MUH SLAVERY always get brought up like this? Descendants of slaves enjoy a free pass to the Land of the Free, do they prefer mud huts and squalor which they get if their ancestor was a free man in Africa?
>>59995932
You what you want is even more democrats to move the party further to the left.
>>59994239
no it didn't stfu
1/100
>>59994239
>The Huffington Post initially filed articles about Trump's campaign in their Entertainment section. >The Guardian did a sarcastic live-blog reading of his new book.
omg, the HP and guardien are sarcastics about hims... is it ober?
I mean msm are so trusted these days, could it be true that they have already btfo him?
>>59994239
>To think this site used to actually be decent baka
oh you
you know they're gonna be enjoying TDOTR
>>59996861
Seanbaby was awesome!
> no one is safe
>>59995932
agreed on the first, bu twhy webb, such a loser
why not a winner?
>>59996079
>5 comments
wut? out of fucking millions?
>>59996288
DOTR will be the great leveller
>>59995383
He's not going for VP, he's building up conservative credit for a seat on the supreme court.
>>59998203
does he want to be killed? put out ofr his misery?
Our Father who art in Trump Tower
Hallowed be your name
Your Trumpening come
Your wall be done
On earth as it is in 'Art of the deal'
Give this day our daily dubs
And forgive us our doubts,
As we also have forgiven your doubters
And lead us not into stumpening
But deliver us from the liberal left
Every day I read a liberal's teary eyed post in even more denial than the last.
They're so fucking scared, I love it.
>>59996079
Can't possibly be that fucked.
>>59994239
>Trump is bad
>Lets appeal to your emotions by talking about the 90s XDD pOkemon LOL VHS
people actually read this?
>>59996697
Could apply that same logic to abortion.
>>59996697
the general idea behind this is correct - we are better off in a society where people have opportunities to develop thier talent and contribute.
However running around being a fucking faggot and telling white people off for having dreads is not necessary for that
>>59996288
>And I'm saying, it was literally you -- if put in the same situation, you would have done the same thing your forefathers did.
But you can say that to everyone. If a black man was put in that white man's shoes he would have done the same thing. If a MtF Mexican was put in that white man's shoes he would have done the same thing.
Circumstances are what drive your choices. Free will is, for the most part, bullshit.
>>59994239
Who cares?
Its a comedy website attacking a comedy candidate.
>>59997415
True. But what really is killing them is that Hillary is an awful candidate, and this is a terrible time for her to run. She's already suspected of being disingenuous, and the whole identity politics / progressive platform has never been her thing, but she's running on that platform because she doesn't care about anything except getting elected.
I don't like either of them, but Bernie's at least been saying this crap his whole life. Hillary picked it up as soon as it became politically convenient, and for someone who already isn't trusted that much, that's pretty bad.
Her campaign is actually paying to run this photograph as an advertisement. This is what they chose to represent her and get people involved.
>>59997415
I want to believe anon
>>59999048
Not a clue famalam
>>60005949
Nope, I was wrong.
>"Why Do People Shit On Me Just Because I'm (White/Male/Straight/Etc.)?"
>I'm going to tell you the weirdest and, yet, most obviously true thing you've ever heard:
>You're not a person.
>This is not abstract philosophy, this is not something you can choose to believe or not believe -- this is a statement of physical fact.
http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-helpful-answers-to-societys-most-uncomfortable-questions/
Wow, I guess I didn't realize it's so obvious, like, a physical fact.
>>59999048
They don't, literally only you think that because you're retarded
http://www.cracked.com/article_15107_cliffs-notes-mystikals-p2A24sy-crook.html
the best Cracked article. Requires listening to Mystikal's 'Pussy Crook' but you're going to have to trust me here.
>>60006701
BUILD
>>60007210
>literally justifying racism
Thanks Cracked, I guess black lives DON'T matter!
>>60007210
Lefters flip back and forth between wether people should be viewed as individuals or as a group as it suits them
News at 11
>>59994977
He'll be VP
>>59996697
OR OR you could teach your kids to NOT commit crimes as a teenager! Novel idea I know but maybe try it.
>>60004602
DICK WHISKEY: DRUNK COP
