Watching fifty shades of grey
How do I be like Christian grey. He has a silver Audi.
Should I get a silver 1.8t Audi A4
>>13975066
do they have classes on how to be less of a beta virg? you should take those. oh, and get the audi too.
>>13975078
I duno. I gotta start a business. Then get a pencil with my name on it. And the kind of Audi I have
Damn Christian grey has a helicopter.
Well. I'll have to learn how to fly a drone then.
Damn he has a sex room.
Guess I'll need to change my exercise room into one.
Dam he plays piano. Guess I'll need a piano in my a4
Damn he has a bathtub
Damn he has like 10 audis.
Damn he has contracts with women. Do I need contracts.
Damn he has a smug as fuck look on his face. Do I need to smug.
OHHH HES GOT A IPHONE 5s!! I GOT ONE OF THOSE. DAMN WILL HAVE TWO THINGS. THE AUDI AND PHONE
Damn he wastes a lot of wine. He just pours wine for women and never drinks it. I can do that.
>watching a movie for women
>>13975280
Pft I've seen boobs and ass and vagina. This is good. And she has nice body.
I am happy. Plus the audis
Damn where do I find this sex contract he has.
Oh damn he bought her an Audi. Fuck I have to buy the future woman of mine a audi. Well i guess I gotta get her a first gen TT 225
>15 replies
>5 posters
someone's bored
>>13975399
I'm figuring out how to be like Christian grey ok.
Damn he's good. I gotta be a dominant man like him. Spanking and biting and chaining up oh. Oh this is good. And the audis. The audis. And the whips and crackers.
He dances. I can dance. lol. Before dinner out.
>>13975066
Get a Volvo instead senpai, the Tumblr grills will be all over you
>>13975471
>Is that a twilight volvo?
YEAH.
>how does this make you feel?
BAD.
>>13975471
Pft that guys a pussy. I'm closer to being Christian grey than that vampire.
Only thing I have in common with that vampire is that I need to be invited in somewhere to go anywhere. Like a vampire.
Damn he has lots of women in his phone. I think I have two. Gotta work on that.
Oh god damn he has a glider.
Guess I can book a gliding tour.
This guy. I mean I'm close to being like him but this guy!!
Ok now he's using red rope to tie her to the bed. He better get rough with her because so far it hasn't been rough. I want dirty. I want loud spanking from Christian.
Let's see what you got shades of grey.
Oh a peacock feather. Pfft come on Christian.
Ok some nice sensation type toys but come on let her have it. Yes whip her. Flog her. Oh wow. Yes. More more. She likes it. She likes it. Oh come on that was only three whacks.
Ok I guess eating her out is good.
That's it? What kind of dominatrix is this guy. He spent at least 100k plus on that playroom and he fucking sucks at it.
He wants to punish her. Ok. It's the way he is.
I can be like this guy. Oh. Fifty shades of fucked up he says he is.
Come on Christian show her the real fucked up side OHHHH SHE SAID SHOW HER. OMG I KNEW HE WAS HOLDING BACK. YES SHOW HER THE WORST DOMINANCE. OH GOD YES.
lol honestly one of the better threads on the board tonight. good work op, you're alright.
>getting anything other than an A8
just get a chevy
Ok Ohhh bend over he says. Six times he's gonna whip her butt. Count Anastasia. One. Two. The music intensifies. Three. He's breathing hard. Ooooiooh four was rough. Oh god five. Six. It's over.
Come on Christian that was still nothing.
Ohh she's grilling him on his weird fetish now. Saying don't Come near her. Why does he want to make her feel pain.
Lol Christian that was it? Six smacks with a whip to her butt? Come on.
"You can't love me" after she says she's fallen in love with that weird fetish monster.
He says she can't love him. Yeah I wouldn't love your shit dominatrix skills either.
So now they've broken up I guess. She doesn't want the Audi. Damn.
Oh wait he's going after her. Oh wow she says no.
Eh I'm losing interest in this movie. She's becoming the dominant one. Love might win. She wants love. He doesn't because he's fucked oh what the fuck it's over? It's over. What.
Well. I'm better than Christian Grey I've found out. Movie could've been a lot raunchier. I wanted raunchy. I wanted sex scenes longer than 1 minute a piece. Come on. I want to fuck now. I WANT TO FUCK MOW. EHERES A WHIP. WHERES A WOMAN. WHERES AN AUDI. WILL MY VISA BE DECLINED IF I RENT A FANCY HOTEL ROOM TO BRONG THE GORL TOO.
>>13975481
Great post
Forcing someone to drive in a 1.8 audi a4 is torture
>>13975584
lmao remindes me of why i linked one of my pets fetlife profiles to a self described kinky girl, she just thought it was fucked up, still thought 50 shares of gray was the be all and end all of fetish stuff, just wanted a sugar daddy really.
>>13975697
Lol. I swear if I had that kind of Arsenal (get it. Arse) id be in there a lot longer than three minutes like Christian grey. If flog her so good shed think she was in Saudi Arabia. Then I'd have her stand chained up and make her vagina red. All while taking breaks from pleasuring her clitorus with he expensive vibrators and feathers and then back to the horse whip. I'd have plenty of variation for plenty of hours.
Then I'd sit her down on a Syrian (can you believe he didn't have a sybian) and I'd flog her while I provided her with the best female orgasm tool ever made for her pleasure and take turns fucking her and giving her permission to ride the Sybian. Then I'd take a vibrators and hold it in her clitorus while licking her Anus while my genitals are rubbing on her face spreading my Pre cum all over her face. I'd eat her squirt. I'd lick her Anus. She questioned what butt plugs were and guess what he didn't even bring one out. Guess he saves those for himself. Imagine putting a butt plug in her ass and then letting her ride the sybian
>>13975821
NOT A SYRIAN. A SYBIAN. DAMM AUTO CORRECT
Not that I'm racist or anything.
>>13975821
i think i just cringed so hard that i pulled a muscle in my cringer.
>>13975899
I'm Christian Grey the real Christian Grey.
#teamfifty
>>13975821
>If flog her so good shed think she was in Saudi Arabia
9/11
This fucking thread.
>Watching fifty shades of grey
Only cunts and cuntslaves do that.
>>13975066
> should I get a silver Volkswagen Passat 1.8t
