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no fun no core no mosh no trends edition
old thread >>65789847
Whats some thrash with harsh vocals, not growls just harsh
>>65796885
No one's gonna tell you more bands like morbid angel so stop trying
2nd for metal milfs
>Tomb of the lubricated
>>65796900
>funposters get banned
>this faggot doesn't
>>65796900
>morbid angel
Its morbid saint
>>65796904
tomb of the traps
>>65796885
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dUm5wXdFgv0
>>65796945
Yeah I keep thinking of a better band with morbid in the name
>>65796924
stay mad nerd
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uLSUQYzqXZ0
Best vocal duo in black metal. Something similar?
>>65796983
>implying straight up Morbid isn't the best band with Morbid in their name
>>65797003
Yes. I am implying that.
>>65796996
Morbid Saint
>>65796996
Gruesome martyr
>>65796838
posting fun, fuck you
\
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4yn1ASPZWFE
>>65797214
You have a terrible idea of fun. No wonder you have no friends.
>>65797252
go back to bed, grandpa
>>65797290
Go back to Jamal, cuck
>>65797252
here's some fun for ya
https://youtu.be/1x-5ZkTMyMc
>>65797320
Why don't you share this with some of your frien-
Oh wait you're boring and pathetic
>>65797366
well duh, why the fuck else would I be here?
>>65797252
faget posted this in seconds, he couldn't possibly have even heard the song
i adjusted my guitar's truss rod
>>65797415
hope you did it right, unlike those faggots from the guitar generals.
>>65797375
This just makes you look more like a cuck. Are you agreeing with me?
>>65797414
Because you're the first ever person to have heard StormWarrior?
>>65797454
um back the fuck off?
>>65797214
Goodspeed my friend, this album is fucking great
/pol/ crossposting is ruining this general
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hxd8ml-n5NE
>>65797483
Are you upset, cuck? Is someone disagreeing with you upsetting you?
>>65797437
Adjusted it 1/4 turn, it shaved off 0.2mm at 18 fret after 4 hours.
>>65797497
Nice try, summertumblr.
did you enjoy it?
>>65797535
Real talk, if you're not here to discuss metal, then you need to get the fuck out of my general
>>65797497
>posts punk
>blames others for ruining /metal/
>>65797516
at least three different people have responded to your shitpost. You've been embarassing yourself for a while now.
>>65797320
thank you, that was fun! How do you like their 2013 album?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4o18EPiBuI
>>65797531
I have a fretless bass that needs calibrating, no frets make it fucking painful to play because the notes are all over the place.
Was it hard? Any tips?
>>65796956
>Tomb of the Mutually-Masturbated
>>65797551
Not really. Pray was alright.
>>65797588
>implying punk isn't /metal/ related
>context of the post
>you being autistic
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ca5an5S0M_Y
>>65797617
it's just ok, what I really want to see from them is a full acoustic album
https://youtu.be/UznVH-lSATA
I mean this just makes me want more
>>65797617
You've been embarassing for just as long, if not longer cuck
>>65797664
>punk isn't /metal/ related
punk isn't /metal/ related, I don't care what SJW messages you add on to it or /pol/ agendas you have
What are some /metal/ songs with really good lyrics?
Post metal albums only you listen to.
>pic related
for the /metal/ fans who enjoy fun
https://mega.nz/#!foolhTyI!XR7bE8KPHw8Rb4X6f1Bb6pnNqsVeCFZ9z17SB_-Vyf8
>>65797631
>Was it hard?
No, i just took a lid off and used the truss tool, then just used a ruler to keep checking, 1/4 turn is all you need most of the time, then rest the instrument for the day so it sits in place and keep checking. Just don't go full ham on it and turn it too much or too hard or shake the damn thing after adjusting, also don't loose the rod or it will detach.
>tfw leveling frets for three months
>time that could've been spent practicing
I'll get that comfy spot.
>>65797743
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCNYK_9hKDk
>>65797631
ibanezrules has a good article about adjusting the truss rod but the other anon kinda covered it
>>65797743
>really good lyrics
What are really good lyrics?
>>65797833
Just post whatever elicits a reaction to you
>Tomb of the Motorboated
>>65797833
There isn't exactly a measurable standard for good lyrics, so just whatever lyrics you personally enjoy greatly is mostly what i'm looking for
>>65797876
Hindered by sober restlessness
Submitting to the amber crutch.
The theme in my aching prose.
Fantasizing the sight of Manhattan;
That pour of a bitter red being that escapes a thin frame
The rebirth of mutual love
The slipping on gloves to lay tenderly
"I'm dying."
- "Is it blissful?"
"It's like a dream."
- "I want to dream."
>>65797876
how bout dis?
https://youtu.be/TxOLSWJLeyo
>>65797743
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAJdWPvaKV4
>>65797743
http://www.darklyrics.com/lyrics/watain/thewildhunt.html#6
>>65798114
They rode on dick
Dickriders
Wataint is gay
>>65797863
>Tomb of the Prostate-Stimulated
>>65797788
>>65797831
Thanks, I'll fix it so I can emulate DiGiorgio
>>65798165
Oh hey look, it's that shitposter again
Say hi to this shitposter, everyone.
Hi!!!
>>65797833
Was about to post the lyrics flat out but the comment was too long so just take a link instead
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8UzSHCdmStE
>>65798198
Hi shitposter
>>65798218
Oops, meant this to be for >>65797743
>guard of the tomb
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bsdHxUXf2CE
>>65798198
Watain is pretty gay
They're basically Deafheaven if they cared about trying to be kvlt
>>65797906
I actually felt my testosterone drop reading that
>>65798256
Good, toxic masculinity is the cancer killing /metal/
>>65798278
And the metal community as a whole
Violet Cold does Deafheaven better than Deafheaven
>>65798296
The metal community is a complete sausage fest unable and unwilling to cope with its repressed homosexuality
https://youtu.be/_Tazr__-uGw?t=16m51s
06.The Innocence Of Genius (16:51 - 17:16)
Better lyrics can't be made.
>>65798331
Precisely. It's why acts like Deafheaven are really the only artistically innovative metal bands currently operating.
>>65796904
>>65796956
>>65797632
>>65797863
>>65798176
>>65798241
I really like this meme
>>65797551
>implying I'm gonna listen to an album with that cover
>>65798378
Can i save it?
>>65798345
>literally fedora the album
>it has logic in the name of the band
>The innocence of genius
>>65798392
So you listen to things based on aesthetics instead of the music
>>65797757
you only find girls if you play crunkcore
>>65798583
I heard the first song once but forgot about it
>>65798378
>Tomb of the Cervix Dilated
>>65798844
I still find the penetrated one to be the best. It's like a cheesy pickup line or something
>Welcome to the tomb of the penetrated. Population: (You)
>Tomb of the Castrated
>Tomb of the Inflated
>Womb of the Menstruated
>>65798844
>Tomb of the anorexic pregnant
>>65796885
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVQ-Yz-5zTE&list=PLn6YnJtjeIaZbObkZ79lmZnM-C1Q_foZv
>ANEVILCHARIOTTHESWINGINGMACEOFHATRED
>>65798940
>Welcome to the Tomb of the Lubricated
>ladies
>tfw NSBM will make black metal great again
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZuIwqA437yU
>>65799063
I always read that band's name as "m80-8" like "matey-eight"
>>65799063
Why the two 8 in their names?
>>65799106
Because you are stupid
>>65799141
Because slavs are stupid
>>65799141
H: eighth letter of the alphabet
88 = HH = Heil Hitler
>>65799063
What a hilariously friendly and upbeat-sounding NSBM band
>kill for hitler kids yeah awright party
>>65797497
>Dead Kennedys
>>65797563
>real talk
>NM claims they are not NS anymore
>Playing a show with \memel8th
I guess something never changes don't they
>>65797497
>crossposting
>like /pol/ just randomly decides to join in and meal fans aren't largely /pol/
hello metalcucks.com
>>65799306
Is NSBM really that big in Slavsland?
>>65799330
I'll have you know that here in Sweden metalheads are not only brutal as fuck, but educated and tolerant of other people and their customs
>>65799420
I can tell you're not actually Swedish because you didn't nervously claim that things are actually fine and every journalist in the world who goes to Sweden is lying because raycis
>>65799200
Their show looks fun as hell too
https://youtu.be/NjXzg0wrCvE
>>65796885
Exumer
>>65799420
How disgusting
>>65796885
deathhammer
>>65799466
Well then that wouldn't be music related, now would it, you off-topic shitposter
>>65799613
>t. pure 100% Aryan SS officer
>>65799769
>he says, posting no music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XRU1AJsXN1g
>>65799834
>he says, not posting metal
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hem0JeHtCjA
>>65799886
>metalhead complaining about Wagner
are you having a fucking laugh
Do you guys really think you can defend the white race listening to NSBM?
Holy fuck i need more abstract metal, got any recs?
>>65799909
Are you even a fan of metal? Take your fedora tier gay shit elsewhere
>>65799972
you have outed yourself as a hanger-on and a cuckold. there's a new gojira album out, go and pore over that you fucking sap
>>65800047
And you are clearly literally a fedora and a faggot. Post metal or get the fuck out
Shitposters are pissing me off.
Post pissed off metal
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gfcFc56O1HY
>>65796885
Kreator
Demolition hammer
Sepultura
>>65800146
Here you go, have some real metal that isn't for nerds who like totally gay shit
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VmiazFHzpP8
>>65800236
Ironic shitposting is still shitposting you fucking faggot.
The very fact that you post shitty djent not only how shit your taste is but how tiny your dick is as well. Not even your small thin lipped Japanese cartoon girls could find a cock that tiny
>>65796904
Tube of the resinsted
>>65800272
Quake before my massive veiny intellect and despair, you mad faggot. Rob Flynn would cover his face if photographed next to you lest people think he was a cuck. Axl Rosenberg would turn down your invitation to an interracial swingers' party on the grounds that 'that's just too much cuckoldry'. Any reply you make forthwith is merely further proof of your desire to ingest Somalian baby batter and I have fucked your mum.
>>65797551
its good
>>65800343
You didn't even fuck me but now I have AIDS because your post is so gay
what's the ratio of penis vs vagina in metal?
are you guys still going through the whole "black metal is a bad meme" thing or can i come back now?
>>65800390
All the girls in metal are actually trans. That's why they give you weird looks and call the cops when you tell them to show their pussy -- they're afraid of being found out
>>65800371
Mine was way better than that lad. What you blasting?
>>65800208
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aqe0jodb280
And you know what's going to happen now. You should admit your situation. There would be more dignity in it.
/metal/ is dead, long live /memetal/
>>65800483
>says increasingly nervous jesseposter for the 17th time this week
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ajd4OLPub24
album of the year
>>65800510
Been counting? Now who's nervous.
>>65796885
Destroyer666
>>65800524
It's a meme, you dip
>>65800530
Yes, it is a meme, you dip.
>>65800539
Joke's on (You), I'm a meme-loving fuck
>>65800512
I don't even dislike this band too much beyond winding people up calling them numales but that really is pretty bad. It literally sounds like this but more pretentious
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2eKPHCjc-j4
>>65800559
Of course you are. This doesn't bother you at all. You are perfectly happy with the state of things.
>>65800581
/metal/ was never good
>>65800577
>hit'll be
Okay
>>65800584
And you are very happy with that. You like it this way.
>>65800610
I know nothing else so why bother trying to tidy up shit when it's still shit. Somebody walks in a room and sees a piece of shit with a ribbon on it and they think "Eww there's a piece of shit on the floor."
Nobody notices the ribbon.
>>65800631
Of course. That's a very reasonable thing to think. No one could fault you or blame you at all. I encourage that line of thinking.
>>65800564
>Fred Durst
>bad
/metal/ is the last bastion of /mu/.
>>65800646
Yeah ok Mr. armchair psychologist shitpost diagnostic guy, try to pin on me and me personally that /metal/ is shit
>when you're smashed and you can't help EUGHHing along and hoping your housemates didn't hear it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uoW8KS7JeA4
>>65800676
Not at all. How you've been acting is a very apt response. You have done nothing wrong.
>>65800698
You're starting to sound like my big tittied slutty groupie mom
>>65797551
no its bad
>>65800709
It's nice to sometimes hear familiar things, isn't it?
>>65800709
this guy is playing you like a goddamn violin
Post bands that you consider a barometer for good taste, like if a person likes the band you know it's worth carrying on talking to them
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji3pBUbBYmE
>>65800796
Every distinguished metalhead worth their salt needs to appreciate Akercocke.
>>65800735
L O N D O N
O
N
D
O
N
>>65800810
I was into Goat of Mendes as a wee laddie but everything since then has left me a bit cold. A few of my mates love them though so the problem's probably on my end
>>65800823
And sometimes you need to be silly, when things get uncomfortable.
>>65800829
Great thing about metal is that there's different paths to enlightenment and god-tier taste.
>>65800849
which is mostly what people with shit taste say
>>65800849
we can agree this bangs though, yes? (assuming you're the same guy)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3SUgAKECzrc
>>65800871
No one metalhead can master all genres
>>65800897
Yes they can
>>65800933
What are the goals/objectives to mastering all genres? What definitive list of bands must one have listened to? What inane background knowledge of various labels and studios must one memorize to be a master of all metal?
>>65800946
All of it.
>>65800953
Impossible
>>65800964
Have you tried?
>>65800985
The statement is a statement of fact
>one cannot read an entire library
>one cannot play every single video game
>one cannot watch every sitcom
>one cannot get a gf
>>65801007
But have you even tried?
>unironically listening to NSBM
>>65801022
Your sake of argument is beginning to look a lot like delusions of grandeur; that you cannot concede that consuming virtually limitless amounts of media is feasible
Holy shit /metal/ threads are fucking garbage
>>65801044
>tfw racialist ultranationalist and starting to swing toward fascism but hate NSBM
Bolt Thrower does it for me desu
>>65801046
Your vocabulary is a delusion of grandeur. Just admit you haven't tried.
And for the record, there are clearly limits to the amounts of media. Vast amounts, but limited ones.
>>65801067
Start fapping to raceplay stuff. Like asians submitting to white cock and stuff. That'll get you over to NSBM
>>65801078
I have already given evidence that simply trying to consume it all is in vain
>>65801096
No you haven't, and that's not the issue.
>>65801088
nah I don't care about any of that meme shit. I just want things to go back to normal and be rescued from this world of smug cucks begging to go extinct
Whats some good goth metal?
>>65800946
>What inane background knowledge of various labels and studios must one memorize to be a master of all metal?
Significantly less knowledge than one needs to graduate from medical school. If you put serious effort into it, you can realistically master all metal genres in a few years at most.
>>65801128
There isn't any.
Sorry.
>>65801106
Yes and I have and the issue is what constitutes becoming an expert or master of a given genre which requires experiencing and listening to media related to that genre which is constantly evolving. If one were to catch up on an entire decade of material, there could be another decade to follow and then another and then another. Human life doesn't permit idle study
>>65801128
My Dying Bride > all
>>65801065
Thanks for contributing with this rare gem then.
>>65801153
But that's not the issue. That was something you raised as a point for the original issue: "No one metalhead can master all genres.">>65800933
And you have no evidence.
>>65801158
>My Dying Bride
thats like all ive been listening to and wanted to find more like them I usually listen to grindcore or death but these guys are great
>>65801181
>And you have no evidence
You are such a double nigger.
It takes 12 days 10 hours 30 minutes to watch each episode of the Simpsons. This is a possible goal, one many fans have done. To further extremes, it takes 150 days to watch each episode of WWE RAW (and this is not counting the franchise's other varients).
WIth metal, we have to calculate the running time not for albums or discographies but entire fucking genres. There isn't even a figure on it BECAUSE NOBODY HAS DONE IT AND THAT RUNNING TIME INCREASES EACH AND EVERY DAY
>>65801183
depends what kind of gothic you want. MDB is as 'corsets and wine' as I get desu, but for the more generally romantic side you might want "In the Woods - Omnio". That album is like a journey and I fucking love it. Also this just for nice MDB-ish melodies
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PyGXbQL7V6o
>>65801227
>There isn't even a figure on it
So you have no evidence, is what you're saying, and you've never tried.
>>65801249
Kill yourself
>>65801255
Based on the evidence that you've told me to kill myself, I think you're mad as fuck. All those big words and fancy terms for what? For "kill yourself".
so if there was any doubt, forteresse is hipster black metal now
http://noisey.vice.com/en_ca/blog/forteresse-themes-pour-la-rebellion
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1xYmqsgw9Y
>>65801065
This
>>65801370
>any doubt on atmoshit being hipster metal
>>65801594
>if
black metal is for gays
I'll be back in a month or two
Mu?
What are you doing?
>Making chocolate pudding.
It's 4 o'clock int he morning. Why on earth are you making chocolate pudding?
Why are most metal album covers are always so edgy and grimdark? Is it because the music is inherently angsty and juvenile or is it more like a cultural thing?
>>65797551
not really
Has there ever been a better band than Helloween?
>>65802050
WASP
>>65796885
Rumpelstiltskin Grinder
>>65802050
Twilight Force
>>65802116
>when the gimmick just right
>>65801935
Why are most metal fans always so male and masculine? Is it because the music is inherently dudebro and juvenile or is it more like a patriarchy thing?
>>65802161
>Why are most metal fans always so male and masculine?
haha good one m8
i hate metal. metal for this feel?
>>65802227
ask /mu/ for metal recs
>>65802227
What do you hate about it?
>tfw find gf who loves to fuck and to suck me off all the time
>still miserable
>>65801128
Type O
>>65801128
Paradise Lost
Sentenced
Katatonia
>6:53
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOy5ouSNs1s
what did he mean by this?
>>65802227
Mastodon - Leviathan
>>65802541
>Sunbather wallpaper
kek it's no wonder she dumped him
>>65802721
she did? she is pretty to desu, imagine cumming on her face with that cute little voice saying lewd things to you
>>65802541
That's when you realize only Incantation can give you what's truly missing in your life : blasphemous satanic anti Jesus
>>65802669
>what did he mean by this?
Humans can only stand so much awesome, it's in our genetic code. Dragonforce, for example, taps into the unused portion of our brains and unravels a sixth sense to a new level of awesome that humans cannot normally experiance. When you listen to Dragonforce, you are not only listening to music, you are taking a journey to another place, another world that some can never hope to behold on their own. Like a scout sent into an unknown land, a voyager on a quest for the unknown, like a tribal Shaman on a spiritual journey...all society can hope for is that you bring back a piece of what you now have engraved upon your soul, and help free the repressed souls and minds of all civilization. And totally fucking rock out.
>>65802812
they would all look good if only they cut their hair and got fit
![12615285_10153491090229755_7496150855058546224_o[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/4pyQHN4.jpg "12615285 10153491090229755 7496150855058546224 o[1]")
>>65802796
Incantation is pussycore
>>65802824
As if looking good means anything anymore. Ask Pete Steele from type o negative, he was good looking and he's fucking dead. Has been for years.
>>65802848
I agree,. Nunslaughter : GOAT
>tfw pornolab finally banned my IP
Metal for this feel?
>>65802862
>downloading porn
you wot m8
>tfw opening for Paradise Lost with my shitty band in a few months
gonna tell Nick that Host is their best album and that his taste is shist
>>65802812
Dude third from right has got a severe case of noodle hair
>>65802851
It's because he was a depressed cunt always wallowing in his misery instead of maning the fuck up and changing his life
>>65799063
new m8l8th? nicee
best osdm song ever written
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fPCNEqBwwMU
>>65800849
>being this autistic
>>65802923
>when the brutal and the riff and the mystery are just right
>>65802771
i don't like her voice desu, it sounds like a girl tryharding to do a cute english dub of anime
>>65802968
yeah but imagine gagging sounds
irony is that I kinda find new Pewdiepie videos somewhat entertaining now that he is ripping off filthy frank
>>65802891
He died of an aneurysm in the aorta.
>>65803004
so?
Baroness – Purple (2015)
The most generic heavy metal rhythm guitar riffing possible clipped with too much compression and mixed with queer hipster rock for those who question their sexuality. I’m pretty sure the hairy girls in this band are in a polygamous relationship with the dude singing and blow roadies on the side. Kind of like how Carrie Fischer let the crew members of the original Star Wars rip the tape off her tits only with more Hepatitis C positive semen from people who tried intravenous drugs. This album sounds like my local modern rock radio station who plays Bush twice a day. Baroness is the most generic 2003 rock possible only maybe one of these girls’ brothers had Led Zeppelin and Metallica posters in her bedroom. Baroness should go back to VH1. Wait VH1 doesn’t air this crap anymore as even VH1 realized how terrible it is. VH1 is Rock of Love now.
Howls of Ebb – Cursus Impasse: The Pendlomic Vows (2016)
Entirely random pastiche of metal clichés loosely held together by psychedelic interludes and a drunk vocalist feigning faux lunacy. If a blend of Voivod, galloping heavy metal, canned black metal and fuzz drenched noise rock wah wah soloing wasn’t pointless enough, the band commands and impressively dissociated catalog of occult vocabulary to match.
Looks like this guy got bukkaked.
Probably it's the gay guy in Hipsterheaven.
>>65803009
So, he didn't die of depression.
Qrixkuor – Three Devils Dance (2016)
Qrixkuor cut-and-paste various subterranean, tremolo-picked riffs and wailing, atonal leads from early ’90s death metal but lack the ability to convincingly replicate the intensity of Morbid Angel or Immolation. What we get instead is a pleasantly nostalgic but grainy and not particularly detailed mashup, “low-resolution” in that you can zoom-in and discover that what appears to be a detailed image from afar breaks down into incongruent little bits when viewed up-close. This style of production (or reproduction, as it were) has already been used to little effect by the likes of Mitochondrion and Antediluvian, two of the better bands that wrote effective riffs but buried them in intentionally obscure mixing methods. Unlike any of the aforementioned bands’ releases, however, Three Devils Dance leaves one with a distinct non-impression, and the poor mixing is only one cause for this. The other is the autistically organized compositions which run for far (FAR) too long: The first track is nearly ten minutes in length and the next two make up a half-hour together. The band’s goal to disorient the listener with an overwhelming inundation of indistinct waves of riffs. It worked as after several back-to-back listens, I could only remember one or two segments of melody with any clarity. Qrixkuor should take another cue from their idols and realize that death metal songs have the most impact when everything is said succinctly. Suffocation packed more information into a four-minute song than you hear in the entire forty minutes of Three Devils Dance.
When I was a wee liberal, I never thought much of Cannibal Corpse until I read their immensely misogynistic lyrics. Then I decided to hate them. Upon reflection, however, what I really hate about this band is its falseness. They studied metal in the early 1990s, and came up with a pre-chewed version. Taking their style from Suffocation, and their songwriting from Malevolent Creation, they bashed out these simple hymns and instead of having an idea behind them like “only death is real,” they just tried to be offensive and gross. How junior high school! Even more, they have gotten more repetitive and grind-you-down-with-simple-stuff as they years have gone on. I couldn’t hate this band more. But, having met them and seen they are nice intelligent fellows, my only conclusion can be that this band is a pure money-maker — and they about admitted as much.
Graves at Sea – The Curse That Is (2016)
Flannel and gauges sludgy stoner rock for untermenschen who quit heroin in 1998 and now sell classic rock LPs mastered from CDs to fat hipster scum. The CD booklet states that all the band members have hepatitis C and thank the other regulars of their methadone clinic for watching their cats while they shoot up.
OPETH
Life isn’t fair to you. You have few friends. You haven’t succeeded at anything, school or otherwise. Even your parents think they consumed too much Bisphenol-A before conceiving you. But you’ve found a new weapon; you’re going to show everyone you’re better than them. Enter the fake progressive rock band. Opeth take very simple songs and dress them up with prog rock lite flourishes, and “unexpected” changes like ZOMG going from acoustic to distorted on the chorus, because they know that all you low self-esteem cases want a reason to seem smarter and more profound than the rest of us. Well, now you have it. Opeth “sounds like” prog even if it has none of what made prog great: real musical development, song structures that build upon themes instead of being random, and truly mindblowing chops. Instead, you get watered down Rush riffs and random songs, all with a lot of guilt and bleeding-heart sympathy because they, Opeth, know you are a loser. Stop comparing homosexuals and Mac users to Opeth. It’s an undeserved insult to homosexuals.
>>65803018
I like the album. Takes me places. Weird stuff, not good in the songwriting sense but chock-full of neat ideas.
I was talking with a Texas technical deathgrind master and he wrote a formula for me: Meshuggah = lots of clueless fans x lack of musical knowledge. If you have played guitar and learned theory, you know how trivial this band is. It’s basically a jazz percussion approach to metal rhythm guitar. Lots of offbeats within offbeats, if you know what I mean. No melody, no song development. In fact, song structures are linear in that they follow the sub-division of beats to a riff, expanding over time in a circular fashion. It’s really boring. But if you want to seem like you got the ultimate in technical metal, you’ll think you’re really cool for liking this distracted, random, artless band. Same critique applies to Necrophagist. They both attract people who want to be cool and smart, but have no knowledge of how the world works, which is why people are Meshuggah fans for exactly two years and then go on to liking Deerhoof and Yoko Ono.
>>65803056
The thing with opeth is that they never tried to be what they are always accused of. Their sin is they try to make beautiful metal music which is totally contrary to what the genre always portrayed, especially death metal.
In theory, I would like this band as they have a formal background in music and clearly know theory. However, they have no souls. They made the plasticine “Nattens Madrigal” by imitating black metal bands, but playing indie rock songs in the black metal style. Sweet, twee, poignant, ironic melodies and pop song structures defined that CD. Ever since then, Ulver has made a career out of being “different.” They make electronica that sounds like an angrier version of all other electronica! They make concept albums that sound like two indie rock CDs with the lyrics re-written! They make bold public statements and image changes like Bono of U2! What they don’t do, however, is understand metal and what makes it great. Instead, they try to make metal into the genre they belong in, which is indie rock, and dumb it down accordingly. Again, conformity disguised as non-conformity, because if you tell everyone you’re a non-conformist, you can’t possibly be a secret sheep, amirite?
Cattle Decapitation – The Anthropocene Extinction
This is as ridiculous as pseudo-progressive core pandering can get. What is worse, this band is playing a dangerous game in which they may lose all of their audiences, or perhaps score with New York hipsters. Crammed in under two minutes you may find explicit deathcore and alternative rock passages, power metal leads, nu-black metal runs lead by duets of inhaled low growls and Chester Bennington’s evil twin brother’s whining, without excluding the use of high squeals. Basically, a puddle of diarrhea that clearly gives away the cause of ailment. Unbearably disquieting in its stupidity.
Ghost – Meliora
Caricature music that disguises carnival thinking by providing a steady, unchanging background. Ghost know how to fool the enemy, the audience is hooked, distracted by fireworks to the right and to the left, without realizing they are paying for an empty but colorful cardboard box. Ghost, master deceivers, everything is so in your face, that the decadent masses love the fake but safe entertainment that ironic bullshit provides. Surely this would also be released in vinyl format, that’s what hipsters do. They need to keep piling up appearances and hip products. The best thing you can do with one of these is break it and use the shards to cut the throats of Ghost fans.
Enslaved – In Times
Progressive rock for those who lack the subtlety for progressive rock. Black metal for those too soft to brave the intellectual challenge of not being a sheep. This is long-winded pop and rock artificially styled to appear complex for insecure posers.
We’ve saved the best for last. Rocket back to the late 1980s with me. Your hair metal band just failed because you look gay even to homosexual rights activists, and not in the good way. In the supersonic stupid way. You’re out of money, and this band named Metallica has just raised the stakes for metal bands by being harder and faster. They’re harder and faster, while you’re prancing and pouting. So what do you do? Turn that fear of your masculinity outward, and become a tough-guy version of Metallica. This is what Pantera did with their first “real” album, Cowboys From Hell. Metallica riffs in simple songs with lots of ‘roid rage posturing. It got worse after that as Pantera added more trends to their faux metal charm bracelet, dabbling in death metal and blues rock, until their music ended up a mishmash of completely random influences. People like this band because it’s a good introduction to basic rock guitar. They can understand it, and it also appeals to their wounded masculinity. If you buy a Pantera album, the thinking goes, you’ll become more tough and angry like Phil Anselmo. People from the real world know that’s not true, which is why most of Pantera’s fans are skinny teenagers trying to figure out which fraternity will be most likely to help them score someday.
>>65803081
I saw them live, they were very fun
Gloryhammer – Space 1992: Rise of the Chaos Wizards
If there is something that hipsters love more than cuckold rock music by androgynous minds is metal nobody can take seriously. Why? Because it is not only inoffensive, but as it lacks any content of weight, it cannot in any way represent a challenge to the listener. Hipsters avoid challenge. But they love the illusion of challenge. They like to seem smart, but not actually stress their minds beyond the safety limits created by the society they claim to be at odds with. Cool-aid power metal for the mentally retarded.
>>65803085
Helped me through really bad times that album. I always alternated between it and a random cathedral album. Amazing stuff, Grand soundscapes!
>>65803076
Didn't listen to this all that much because I already loved monolith of inhumanity and didn't need a part 2
>>65803086
Fuck Pantera, right on!
Ithaqua – Initation to Obscure Mysteries (2015)
Greeks broke. Greeks need foreign currency. Greeks see black metal autists who buy everything with bullet belt. Greeks know metal autist like black metal on pro-tape cassette. Limited tape trade Discogs Ebay. Rotting Christ and Varathron most true drum machine sampler Hellenic black metal. True cult early 90s. Cover them on 300 limit copies. Sell all rights of recording to label to buy case of skunky Euro piss lager. Stroke hairy Hellenic forearms. Wish you were cool. Drink away 51% youth unemployment. Kill self.
>>65803073
I loved perdition city, it's my number one drug album, esp. "Nowhere catastrophe"
>>65803043
They could make simpler music that wasn't such a tour de force for the musicians to play if it was only about the money.
Spectral Lore – Voyager (2015)
Spectral Lore uses the MacBook Pro his parents bought him to generate ambient background noise he believes is Burzum meets Dark Side of the Moon. No beats are blasted, the vastness of nature is unfelt, and no minor key riffs glass over the northern skies. The only thing this Greek leech has in common with Varg is playing Chrono Trigger. The songs and their titles resemble the background synth level music from Super Nintendo platformers like Donkey Kong Country. Voyager is the soundtrack to those V’gina speculum sequences in the porno version of Star Trek: The Motion Picture as scored by the Nintendo Entertainment System’s Robotic Operating Buddy.
>>65803055
Don't know this one, but it sounds great, thanks for the rec
>>65803011
I find them to be quite tiresome. Yellow and green were soooo boring
Horrendous – Ecdysis (2014)
Steal Heartwork riffs, run them through a Boss HM-2 pedal, and throw in some random Journey to pad out the tracks. Contrary to the title and cover art, this pretentious pseudo-Swedeath fails to shed its melodeaf skin. The only thing this album transcends is listeners’ patience when it assumes they are intellectually disabled by building multiple nu songs from the riffs in one very popular older song called Heartwork. Horrendous prove themselves musically no better than Archenemy and far inferior to them when it comes to musical common
>>65803155
I love this album. So many kickass riffs on it.
Which metal bands have appeared on The Simpsons?
I can only think of Judas Priest and Metallica.
>>65803176
Didn't know about priest when did that happen?
>>65796885
Dark Angel
Death Angel
>>65803181
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPMkYj9YydA
>Judas Priest
>death metal
VoidCeremony – Dystheism
The epitome of the riff salad disaster in the so-called atmospheric death metal. The trick here is simple: make obscure, messy riffs, lots of them, more than you can count. They do not need to progress in any particular direction, they do not need to be necessarily related. They do need to keep a character, at least. This will make the fans laud your music for creating “such a dark and oppressive atmosphere”. You will hear poser hipsters like Anthony Fantano who know nothing about the graceful art of musical construction praising poorly thought-out death metal such as this. They equate “I do not know what the fuck is going on with the music but I can get the feeling” with good quality in death metal. Tough-sounding ambient music for blockheads.
>>65803197
Wow that sounds like something I'd be interested in. What are some comparable bands? Howls of ebb maybe?
>>65803197
>>65803034
Never heard of them but sounds pretty good tb.h
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eD1ewKOZsLE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6XNhIhRV-cM
Where are these pastas coming from? Noktorn?
>>65803210
>>65803215
Anthony, please leave.
Thoughts on this band?
>tfw new album never
Moonblood – Blut and Krieg
When black metal died in 1994, it did so by losing sight of its direction. In art, direction takes the form of something which can be communicated only through metaphor, an idea in formation. In part, black metal had given its ideas to the world and was sitting back to watch them spread, but in another sense, the message — a copy of a copy of a copy at that point — simply got lost as bands imitated the form without the substance of those that inspired them. The Moonblood review exists in the last sentence, since this album represents all that is odious in music: an imitation of the surface configuration and emotional tropes of a genre not only while not understanding what the genre and its founders valued, but without even trying to make coherence out of the noise. Most people like this for the vocals which are like a hybrid between Varathron and old Mayhem, and maybe they enjoy the winding minor key riffs, but the fact remains that these songs go nowhere. They set up a sensation, loop through it, and then end with a convenient exit like a hipster suddenly realizing the people at his party not only do not eat quinoa exclusively, but cannot pronounce “artisanal.” Lack of direction is fortunate for Moonblood since these songs wander when attempting to extend themselves because they have no center and no purpose. It is not surprising that shoegaze took over from this weakened form of black metal because this is directionless atmosphere that apes the past but approaches none of its value or even ability to communicate. In comparison, this is incoherent posing.
Jesus this site is a joke
http://www.deathmetal.org/review/sadistic-metal-reviews-mendacious-stork-edition-end-of-2015-series/
>>65796885
Aura Noir
>>65803344
>hipster gets triggered
>>65802875
Are you from Lucifer or SSOGE?
>>65803085
>Progressive rock for those who lack the subtlety for progressive rock
>subtlety for progressive rock
>subtlety
>for progressive rock
kekkeroni
>>65803350
neither, local support
>>65803344
S A D I S T I C M E T A L R E V I E W S
>>65803348
>OSDM fag tips his fedora
>>65801128
Late but reposting
>>65803370
>all dat projection
>>65803379
only OSDM and thrash fags use word hipster unironically in 2016
>>65803391
>Post of Endless Triggering
>>65803071
There's a lot of beautiful metal music
Cliff Burton would have loved Opeth
>>65803071
>Their sin is they try to make beautiful metal music which is totally contrary to what the genre always portrayed, especially death metal
Yeah all death metal should be ulta br00tal tecnhical slamZ with incompreenisible vocals m8!
Who's more autistic, black metal or death metal fans?
>>65803344
P O S T - C U C K O L D E D A M O R P H I S S C A N D I N A V I A N G A Y ' H A R D ' ( H A ! ) R O C K
>>65803437
Hipster queers like you.
>>65803437
black metal
at least half of death metal fans just wanna have fun
>>65803437
DM fans, however
black metal musicians are 200% autistic freaks who burn churches and perform spells and run around forests
Death metal fans have to deal with bro-core dudebros shitting deathcore everywhere
Black metal fans have to deal with hipster muhtaste faggots shitting pitchforkcore everywhere
Make a new thread cunts
Hipster queers da worss
I seriously don't understand how anyone can still take ANUS seriously. Their opinions are completely outrageous (it's alright if you don't like DsO but that doesn't mean it's deathcore) and their way to back up all these ridiculous claims is a nice mix of alt-right memes and fedora-tier pseudointellectualism with a healthy dose of elitism in there too. I don't have a hard time understaning how some narcissitic fuck could write that stuff and think it's good but I fail to see how anyone would look at it and go "hey, that's actually pretty clever and not just something anyone with half a brain could spew out in minutes"
>>65803565
yeah but if you met an ANUS guy at a party and he shittalked your favorite band, you wouldn't be able to respond, your girl would leave you and suck his cock all night, and you would die penniless
>>65803581
>if you met an ANUS guy at a party and he shittalked your favorite band, you wouldn't be able to respond
that means nothing, if you want to shit talk the average person's favorite band all you gotta do is memorize the beatles copypasta and replace The Peatles with whatever band your shit talking
>>65803565
Well said, Pitchfork! My wife's biracial son even agrees.
black metal sucks
>>65803581
of course I would, his arguments would be ridiculously stupid and the fact that he started talking shit about obscure metal bands at a party would make everyone realise that he is austistic as.
Also, do you seriously live under the delusion that ANUS isn't comprised interely of fat, greasy dm fans? How would they ever get any girls, let alone one dating a fit, non-retarded guy?
>>65803645
"wrarurururuaurghh" - what!?
>>65803650
SINGER SOUNDS LIKE A WOUNDED DUCK
>>65803648
Projecting pretty hard there, bro.
Hi, anyone has a chart or recs for cannibal corpse like death metal?
Does your dad like metal?
>>65803650
he's deepthroating dicks while singing
>>65803683
youtube recommends suicide silence on all cannibal corpse videos. hope that helps
>>65803687
no he likes to be fucked in the ass raw
>>65803683
It's called Brutal Death Metal
New thread
>>65803713
>>65803672
Using a slightly more advanced word for it doesn't make "I know you are but what am I" anything more than a kindergarten argument
>>65803648
All the writers for ANUS (now DMU) are doing well for themselves.
Most of them are academics or musicians.
>>65799970
That's one of my favourites. I think Ordo Ad Chao is on the same league.
