Post everything wrong with Pitchfork. Go!
Pitchfork
Pitchfork is a sign that the usual music publications we turn to are dying.
I have hope that in the next few years Marcel will lead music journalism down a greater, more experimental new path. He has to destroy the machine while inside the machine.
the lateralus review is really childish true even though I'm no fan
>>64561880
/thread
It's for fuckboyz
OP, you do realize posts here have character limits, right?
>>64561880
/thread
Not enough PoC on staff
Queen Bèy didn't get a 10
pretty old but still
>>64561849
Black people
>>64562120
where is that old now-deleted Pitchfork review where the writer says he masturbated to Come on Eileen or some shit and he came everywhere.
haha holy shit I just found this
>>64561849
I read an album review once where the writer spent more time showing off about how he met Steve Albini once than he did actually reviewing the music. Lowest teir journalism at it's finest.
Based as fuck Chris Ott. Always relevant
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=W_n4MROE6Ok
>>64564207
fuck chris ott
>>64561911
yeezus and bon iver s/t dseerve their score, though
>>64561880
we're done here boys
>>64561911
Frances the Mute sucks. It's not a 2.0 but I wouldn't give it above a 5.
>>64561911
not a bon iver fan?
Reminder that I had to stop updating this because I ran out of room
>>64561968
i'm sure best coast is actually a good band and not trendy fotm, right p4k?
>>64561968
they re-reviewed Andrew WK. also what's wrong the LCD soundsystem review?
>>64561849
this album deserves 8/9, and they give a 3.9
>>64564244
>mediocrity is not a punishable crime but if it was, belle & sebastian would be enjoying their last meal right about now
lol, pitchfork sucks ass but sometimes they hit the nail on the head
>>64564340
>not liking based belle and sebastian our white aryan masters
>>64561968
Fucking LCD Soundsystem's "This Is Happening" is amazing. Deserved the score.
"Frances The Mute" getting a 2 makes me homicidal though.
this pissed me off desu
>>64564434
agreed it deserved 1.5 to be honest
>>64564443
7.3 is pretty high for buttrock
>>64564304
you cant seriously think lcd soundsystem is anythingmore than a 5.5. the andrew w.k should have been a 5 too. only thing they got right on that chart was swagga fresh freddie
>>64564443
maybe should have clarified - I'm pissed off AM got a higher score than Like Clockwork
>>64564462
ok, negro scaruffi
>>64564462
I seriously think that "This Is Happening" is at least a solid 8 for me.
>>64564454
Frances The Mute redeemed The Mars Volta in my eyes as a more-than-mediocre prog outfit. Frankly everything else they've put out had me snoring in minutes.
everything is wrong with it now
the way the webpage looks
the bullshit articles
everything, man
it all sucks
it wasnt even that great before
but now its worse
and corporate
and full of shit
fuck you
>>64564535
Altered Zones was the best thing P4K ever did though. P4K were great during when AZ was still around.
>>64564508
wow they change their reviews so much they should be called Switchfork, amirtie?
>>64564535
>the corporashuns xD
did you phone bank today?
>>64562447
the review sucks but that album is really good. Danse is the embarrassing score
Where should i find new albums/artists then?
>>64564588
Links in the sticky for that, or just continue prowling /mu/ until you hate music like the rest of us.
>>64564280
love this
some idiot in a thread earlier could not understand that there is an agenda they are pushing and it's so fucking obvious
>>64564588
http://marcelsmusicjournal.com/
>>64564620
it's not like it's a hidden conspiracy either, just modern leftist writing/editing
>>64564508
This is the first thing in this thread that has actually made me mad
you're all dumb as hell. scores are just fucking opinions. Pitchfork wins if you're reading their reviews regardless if you liked it or not.
>>64564280
>Most of those reviews came out like five to ten years ago
Agree with the rest but you're reaching pretty far with this shit.
A lot of those writers probably don't even work there anymore.
>>64564508
you realize thats a review of the remaster right? and most of the criticism is remastering it and int he context of the time of the review (early 00s?).
still how retarded is that. if pollodk was painting today no one would give a shit. but in the context of the first 20th century it was ground breaking. we look at things for what they offer and express. the first is always the most authentic and strong as it is an extension of that self. what comes after is an internalization of that expression and release always conversing with that origin
>>64564715
>most
no, not most. PLENTY of these writers still contribute to p4k. not "most."
>>64564260
Plen detected
>>64564779
when will this "mars volta is good/patrician" meme fucking die already? ATDI is far superior and patrician in every way.
Obligatory shit ratings
http://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/20539-the-magic-whip/
http://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/21593-weezer-white-album/
>>64564760
Think you misread my post there buddy.
Picking out bad p4k reviews from 5 to 15 years ago is fucking easy and doesn't prove anything about the site as it is now.
>>64564280
i disagree with some of the review scores but agree with most of the articles.
>>64564867
i understood all of your post. but i was pointing out that you saying that "A lot of those writers probably don't even work there anymore" is a false statement.
>>64564443
This can't be real...
>>64564927
Clearly didn't because I was referring to the ones who wrote the reviews which were written fifteen years ago at this point.
>>64564837
I agree.
Both of them are too high.
>>64564947
what the fuck are you saying
i was literally pointing out your incorrect claim. fucking own up to your shitty fucking mistakes idiot.
>>64564998
I'm sorry you can't read bro
>>64565037
what the fuck? i CAN read idiot. i have literally said i read and understood your entire fucking post.
you mentioned a false statement and i pointed out you were wrong. fucking own up to your mistake idiot. stop being such a fucking jerking fucking idiot. fuck off.
>>64565075
S'okay bro, we all have trouble comprehending things sometimes.
>>64564918
is your gf's son old enough to read them with you?
>>64561849
retards who can't stop talking about how terrible pitchfork is
>>64565114
>gf
implying im hetero or will ever have a partner
>>64564223
Hi Ryan Shreiber
>>64564930
it's fucking awful, AM only received that 8.0 because of hype
>>64561849
there isnt other website with the same quality
>>64565111
You're arguing with a guy who unironically used the cuck meme and the antisemetic merchant in his infograph.
>>64564443
both are too high
>>64565274
I'm not arguing dude, it's funny that he can't read.
Also if he is that guy its funny that he made an entire image about bad the pitch is currently while recalling album reviews from 10 to 15 years ago, some even older than that.
idk I find it hard to get as mad as some people and Chris Ott about this stuff since I've never really been effected by pitchfork in any really meaningful way.
>>64565383
My only point here is that you're engaging with an edgy 16 year old and there are better things you can do with your time.
Anyone who is not functionally retarded will immediately ignore that image. The only purpose it serves is to get other 16 year olds riled up about muh feminism.
>>64562215
that sounds incredible
>>64565447
Fair nough
>>64561849
Name one other better than pitchfork
http://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/2771-the-eminem-show/
If we're gonna start reposting terrible pitchfork reviews btw, gotta go with the best.
The Village Vanguard. New York City. 1961.
We was sittin’ there watchin’ the stage. Waitin’ for the man they called Coltrane to come out and do his thing. It was me and my four droogs. Them bein’ Peter, Georgio and Dim; Dim being really Dim.
‘Round an hour’d passed and the place was packed straight through to the back. I’d just dropped some dollars for ‘Trane’s Giant Steps six months back. Now was the time, this was the place. The Village Vanguard. New York City. 1961.
I was only there for the first night, see, but them cats at Impulse! just made my life complete. They put out four CDs of all that sound ‘Trane put out those nights. But you know my type, man. Can’t afford to eat, let alone spend some heavy cash on music. So I only got the essential. Live at the Village Vanguard: The Master Takes is one disc, makin’ it one-fourth the cost of the box set. And you only get the best stuff.
Man, the opening beauty of “Spiritual…” It’s like a dream I had: I floated on the River Nile, smokin’ some fresh weed, relaxin’. But I ain’t ever gonna see the Nile anyhow. This track’s as close as I come, and it’s close enough. Best of the best, though, has gotta be “India.” It’s only when you listen to a perfect old jazz tune like this that you realize how much drum-n-bass is derived from this music. ‘Trane takes it to heaven and back with some style, man. Some richness, daddy. It’s a sad thing his life was cut short by them jaws o’ death.
Shit, cat. It don’t make a difference. The man produced enough good music to last me a lifetime. This Village Vanguard thing’s just another example of the genius of Coltrane.
>>64564779
I actually don't understand people liking TMV. People who listen to prog should realize how poorly constructed their songs are and how awful their solos are, and people who don't listen to prog should rightfully think that it's boring and irritating. I think TMV fans must be people who want to listen to prog but don't know where to start so they pick the shittiest entry point just because they're the only prog band in the last 15 years to get attention from the media.
>>64565529
Shit cat, I love this one.
>>64565529
the cringe is real. why would anyone ever write like this?
im a huge fag
>>64565549
There used to be an amazing video someone did where they animated and read out the review but I have a feeling pitchfork had it removed from youtube.
>>64565568
Oh the review is by Ryan btw
>>64561849
Why that hate?
For me its a good website for find good music
>>64565579
Yeah, I remember that... it's gone from the internet.
I still have no fucking clue what A Clockwork Orange has to do with whatever 60's jive shit he's got going on.
>>64565579
>Ryan
Who the fuck is that?
>>64565635
>It was me and my four droogs. Them bein’ Peter, Georgio and Dim; Dim being really Dim.
Yeah and I love how there's only fucking three
oh wow i actually laughed out loud about that
>>64565641
Founder and CEO of Pitchfork
7.4
6.2
6.7
if you know, you know
>>64565581
A liberal muslim lesbian ACLU lawyer professor and video game critic was teaching a class on Karl Marx, known feminist.
”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Milo Yiannopoulos!”
At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pure-blooded aryan who had played 1500 hours of counter strike global offensive and understood the necessity of building a wall and fully supported all military decision made by future president Donald Trump stood up and held up a copy of the Constitution.
”What is this paper, pinhead?”
The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied “it guarantees freedom of speech, you stupid Cisscum”
”Wrong. If I had Freedom of Speech, I wouldn't have been banned on an internet forum”
The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped her chalk and copy of the SCUM Manifesto. She stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears. The same tears liberals cry for the “poor” (who today live in such luxury that most own refrigerators) when they jealously try to claw justly earned wealth from the deserving job creators. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, DeShawndra Washington, wished she had pulled himself up by her bootstraps and become more than a sophist liberal professor. She wished so much that she had a gun to shoot herself from embarrassment, but she himself had petitioned against them!
The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted the Donald as their savior. An eagle named “Small Government” flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and Trump himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.
The professor lost her tenure and was fired the next day. She died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.
>>64565710
Holy shit I never even noticed that.
>>64565710
>oh wow i actually laughed out loud about that
Geeze
>Founder and CEO of Pitchfork
So a rich lil' white hipster who tries to write like a black man...
>>64562215
>>64565781
oh my god
>>64565762
Yep.
Here's another one:
Mann, about five years ago I was so damn white. Not that my skin color actually deepened at some point in time, but I had a serious soul deficit. I thought Bach's "Tocatta and Fugue" had a thick bass line going on. Growing up in Oregon, not quite an ethnic mecca, my knowledge base of black culture was derived from reruns of Fat Albert ("You mean black people don't always say 'hey hey hey?'"). I couldn't have found my groove thing if you'd given me a map. One day, Richie from "Happy Days" walked up to me and said "Damn!" In short, if I'd been any whiter, I would have been clear.
And then I discovered Aphex Twin. Alright, that was later. What I did find was my father's record collection. I found Miles. I found Thelonius. I found Jimi. I found the Godfather of Soul himself. Changes commenced immediately. Suddenly, I knew what the scenario was. Stakes was high. I was rhymin' wit' Biz. I found myself asking, "What is this shaking phenomenon that is happening with my booty? I must say, this is almost as pleasurable as reading Dante!"
Of course, right around this point, it all went to hell in the rap world. Organics in hip-hop were replaced with electronic skitter and weak rhymes. Heart and soul were supplanted by speed freaks like Bone Thugs N' Harmony. Machismo and money superseded authenticity and love for music. "Entrepreneurs" like Master P began serving records like hamburgers, inundating the industry with clone rappers whose most impressive attributes were their ice and gold teeth. The outlook was bleak.
1/2
>>64565861
Common's Like Water for Chocolate occupies a pivotal position in the current Black Renaissance that has emerged to rescue hip-hop music from decaying into a soulless nightmare. On the heels of seminal releases from the Roots and Mos Def, Like Water for Chocolate engenders an ongoing sense of hope in those who pine for a new school of black intellectuals, making heads bop in the process. Common pays apt tribute to the forefathers of black music throughout his opus, infusing tracks with an invigorating hybrid of cool jazz, bebop, funk, and hip-hop.
Like Water for Chocolate is a musical gift from a man who clearly paid attention in "How to Rock Rhymes 101," bringing a guest list that would make any MC drool. The entire album is produced by the talented ?uestlove of the Roots, who verifies that he has more than enough musical acumen to go around. Fellow Roots Black Thought and Rahzel provide raw backing vocals on "Cold Blooded," a relentless rhythmic cacophony in which deep horns and concussive funk guitar rattle the brain harder than a Mack truck. "Heat" brings the spirit of battle raps back to the forefront, floating above an off-kilter drum loop by ?uestlove. On "The 6th Sense," Common gets iller than Syphilis over an addictive track supplied by Gang Starr's DJ Premier. Cee-Lo's awe-inspiring vocal arrangements on "A Song for Assata" make it the most beautiful hip-hop piece by a rapper to appear in years. The list is seemingly unending, also featuring D'Angelo, Mos Def, MC Lyte and the Ummah production crew.
2/3
There was also the time Pitchfork called Broken Social Scene members "retards with guitars" and swiftly deleted that review when You Forget It In People came out (and got a 9 or whatever)
>>64565887
Like the Roots' Things Fall Apart and Mos Def's Black on Both Sides, this record is certainly the product of much thought and work, but it's a labor of love. Right before our eyes, rappers like Common are laying the foundations for a closely-knit family of hip-hop zealots who eat, sleep and breathe positive, intelligent hip-hop-- a network of men and women who share a mutual respect and can address serious societal issues that plague us all (and wreck MCs) without coming off as pedantic or absurd. In 2000, this is just about as good as hip-hop gets.
Why they gave Weezer- Raditude anything higher than a 2 (and that's still pushing it) beats me.
>>64565721
centipede hz
painting with
niggas on the moon?
>>64565902
https://web.archive.org/web/20010125082500/http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/record-reviews/b/by-divine-right/bless-this-mess.shtml
I miss old p4k 2bh, the banter was out of this world
>>64565497
Tinymixtapes
They gave MX the highest score out of all of the coldplay albums. Didnt even check the latest album's score tho
Hey guys.
Isn't taste. Wait for it. Isn't taste [spoiler] subjective [/spoiler] ?
there is zero thought of music in their reviews
the entirety of pitchfork is scheming things to say and ratings to give to bring attention to themselves
they don't even listen to the music, they just are hyper aware of what kind of social perceptions surround the music being reviewed and try to capitalize on interjecting themselves into pop culture
Has anyone mentioned this thing they've started where they go "___________ is peak ______" or "________ has reached peak ________"
we need to band together and make them stop. come on let's do this. who's with me?
>>64566368
it's subjective, yes. just the way they go on about reviews or even lately with social issues they're objectively being asshats
>>64565497
hell Marcel and Fantano alone do better than pitchfork
>>64565902
And now of course Broken Social Scene is headlining their shit-ass festival. How times change
I would love to go see them but the rest of the lineup appeals to me about as much as giving Ryan Schreiber a single dime of my money
http://pitchfork.com/thepitch/810-taylor-swift-fights-for-the-underdogs/
This is probably one the most ridiculous things Pitchfork ever published. Even other poptimist websites bashed them
>>64561911
yeezus and bon iver are actually good tho
Posting about P4K scores ironically used to be fun
Then when they became this, I just became genuinely disgusted
It's not even fun any more
>>64566416
im with ya bro
they are peak cuck
>>64567634
DEAD SARA - PLEASURE TO MEET YOU 8.3 BNM!! THEY STILL HAVEN'T REVIEWED IT!!
This is flat out fucking wrong.
>>64567607
white man poem is pretty good desu
>>64567659
>Maybe 'white man's indie' has been killed and mainstream African American hip hop for white people will 'crowd out' altbro internet market share
Carles was such a prophet
STOP MAKING FUN
>>64567659
damn carles knew what was up
>>64567659
Carles is worse than anyone on p4k by a longshot
>>64567921
Great supporting reasons
>>64564331
>going to p4k for metal
I've noticed that whenever they give a good score to a metal album, it'll get like an 8.4 but never bnm except in cases like deafheaven
>>64567659
I'm not trying to sound like an oldfag but I do remember reading this years back. Completely forgot about him since then, but damn is it interesting coming back to that and looking at things now.
>>64566416
#PEAKBLACKNESS
>>64568327
wew, I forgot about this one
>>64564532
I thought Deloused was easily a 9/10. Like. I don't care for any of their music besides Deloused and Frances. They really knew what they were doing on those two.
>>64567921
carles kinda cracks me up
he doesn't take himself too seriously like p5k faggots
>>64561911
>>64561968
I heard that waaay back in the day before P4k was big Omar or Cedric talked shit about them in an interview and have gotten panned ever since
>>64565529
>them jaws o' death
i fucking love/hate this review and i read it through every time i see it. that phrase in particular is so bad, and its badness never seems to diminish with repeat readings. it's truly their best worst review
