Reversed Gender Roles Equestria
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GoogleDoc Pastebin Archive:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1aoh8YH3I0q78czAnb9mt_4h5jUeCUbivFV5WhAh935U/edit?pli=1
Old CrazyRain's Stories' Archives:
http://pastebin.com/C82B4dea
Got that new thread smell in here.
>>27710433
how about a space engineer anon?
>anon crash lands because he forgot to weld the gyroscopes to his ship
>pones think hes a space king
>he just wants to find some gold so he can make some computer but the pones seem to think the copper wiring on his ship is rare and want to take it so he cant leave to find gold
>something blatently sexist happens because penis
goodnight everybody.
Can we have some cute stories about these two? (Or just about "traditional by rgre standarts" families in general)Next must be sketch about Venus, DadAnon and everypony royal at dinner after some horseywifey stuff, I think. I'm way too slow with delivering...
>>27710479
you are too good to us anon
>>27710548
If only I could draw freely in digital. But nope, only "sketches" which I cannot even try and line with broken tablet screen. Or finish properly. Kinda sad
>>27710626
we aint picky anon
>>27710463
>pones are disappoint with the lack of probings from Anon
>>27710433
We need dong ring! It's been too long
>>27710463
>>pones think hes a space king
What does "hes" mean? I haven't heard that word before.
>>27710463
>Ponies think Anon is the Prince of Space
>Equestria is attacked by the Phantom of Krankor
>Ponies in tiny shorts can no longer buy violent porn comics
>Hitler building is destroyed
>Pinkie catches Roji Panty Complex and must constantly self medicate with lacy thongs
it only took 11 posts for this thread to go to shit. Good job you guys
I may not know a lot about life, but I'm pretty sure we need more cute Luna
>”I done said it before and I will say it again Rarity, Anon don’t need those clothes of his. Stop trying to push your darn fetishist clothing on the poor colt!”
>”And like I keep trying to explain to you Applejack darling, is that you are quite mistaken. Anonymous himself is the one who comes to ME and requests such garments.”
>Sip
>”So Anon waltzed right up to you and declared that he wanted clothing that covered his body up huh? Were the socks something he wanted as well? Because I gosh darn find it mighty difficult to believe that those were his idea!”
>SIIIIIIIP
>”They were his idea Applejack, he INSISTED on having socks, because if somepony paid more attention to his words than his body, then you would know that he needs my outfits due to his lack of fur!”
>SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP
>Who knew that having your honour defended by Applejack would get so out of hand this quickly, or at the very least, be this entertaining to watch unfold
>One moment they were arguing so heatedly right at each other that you honestly wouldn’t have been surprised if it devolved into them having angry sex at each other
>And suddenly two of them were floating in the air, weird colours streaking through their manes and tails while anime-like energy lightning encompassed them and scorched the floor of Rarity’s boutique
>Funnily enough, that only caused Rarity’s power level to increase when she noticed the damage
>”Oooh this is going to be good! I brought along the popcorn, packed with butter just like you wanted.”
>Parking her rump onto the soft couch next to you with a comically large amount of snacks, Pinkie Pie takes a sip from what appears to be a beer hat, except she was drinking a mix of wine and apple juice if the juice box and bottle were anything to go by
“All I wanted was some summer and winter clothes, but this is somehow entertaining in itself.”
>>27711645
>Today had started off with you finally getting out of bed and deciding that you should get something else to wear besides the simple stuff you have on you now
>You’re not a complete slob, you do at least like wearing washed clothing, but only one outfit can be worn and washed repeatedly before it just feeeels dirty
>You thought Rarity would be delighted to help you with creating something new for you, and needless to say but the little pony was so giddy about this opportunity as she put it, that she was bouncing around on all four of her legs and cheering like she had just won the lotto
>Before you and Rarity could even begin discussing the details of the outfits, Applejack burst into the building, yelling something about you being her ‘precious and pure horsebando’
>Apple horse was very adamant about you being as pure as the driven snow
>Apparently that meant that you were going to have to freeze your arse off in winter and feel very exposed wherever you went
>You weren’t that opposed to being nudist like ponies were, but you didn’t feel comfortable with the idea that these cute little creatures, who were head height with your groin, being able to get a good look at Anon Jr
>Even your grandpa, the known and only nudist in your family, would at least put on a loin cloth or something whenever there were kids around
>You respected the man, in his own words; he didn’t want to scar the kids by letting them see old and wrinkly Anon Sr. Sr. Jr.
>”Woo! Go either one of you! Mama Pinkie made sure to bet on both of you, so don’t let me down!”
>Broken out of your thoughts of old man dong, something that you thought you would never hear yourself think about, you spy Pinkie Pie sporting two large foam fingers
>Both of them having either Rarity or Applejack is number one printed on therm.
>Well, you came here because you figured you might as well get some clothes since you came to terms with being stuck here in Equestria
>>27711648
>Maybe either of them might give you a discount after this, exposing such shameful behaviour to a defenceless colt like yourself
>While dealing with these little sexists horses can be quite adorable and fun sometimes, it still feels a bit uneasy when some of them are praised as Gods and apparently have the power equivalent to one.
>And yet here you are, watching some of the most powerful of ponies, having a shouting and puffing up their chest tuft match while you spectate, eating popcorn and wondering what kind of silly/stupid comment you could have written on some briefs for yourself
>>27711654
Hope you enjoy this weird-ass thing I wrote up at 3 in the morning while I've been off my meds for two days. Having some headaches and shit because of it but I should be alright when I see my doc tomorrow. Anyway, I wrote this because my mind thought up of 'stupid arguement but with animu powers and Anon just watching it all.'
I hope you all have a lovely day/night wherever you are, and I sincerely wish you all the best.
Anon smiled as Rarity sighed softly in his ear. The fashionista was still asleep, nestled comfortably against him. A sleepy murmur escaped her throat. Her body twitched and her tail slapped against his legs. Anon could feel her grip around him tighten ever so slightly as she wiggled closer. Without a second thought his grip tightened around her, and with a murmur of his own he nuzzled the top of her head. That seemed to calm the unicorn down as she once again went still, her chest gently rising and falling.
Though he didn’t look at the clock Anon guessed that it had to be around three or four in the morning. The night, though nearing the end of the tunnel, still held its grip on the land. The bedroom, the house and the area surrounding it were completely silent. There wasn’t a creature stirring, not Opal, not Rockington, not the beautiful unicorn in his arms. The only one that didn't have the common sense to be in bed right now was him.
He had been finding himself like this a lot lately; just holding onto Rarity as he waited for the sun to rise. As he had grown older he had found himself needing less and less sleep, though it wasn’t for lack of trying to get his eight hours. He didn’t know what was the problem. His bed was as comfortable as could be, Rarity didn’t snort or kick him and it wasn’t like he slept all through the day.
Perhaps it was just something that came with getting old. Maybe his restless mind was trying to tell him something. The house might have been build on ancient deer burial grounds and the angry spirits could have been keeping him up.
He didn't know, though he secretly hoped it was the third option.
>>27711582
> Shy around Anon
> Hides partway behind doors, under tables, etc, peeking out at him and talking in a quiet voice
> Calls him "Lord Anonymous" even though he has no formal title
> Leaves notes from a "secret admirer"
>>27711714
A yawn escaped his throat as he began to run his fingers through his bed buddy’s hair. In a few hours the sun would rise and its light would come through the window behind him. Its golden rays would wash over the two of them. Rarity’s nose would scrunch up as the light would hit her face and she’d wiggle closer against him to get away from the light. Eventually the rays would bath the whole room in such a way that she wouldn’t be able to sleep anymore. After that her eyes would open, tired and usually irritated, and she’d get up and rush to the bathroom so that she could get ready and start her day.
A ghost of a smile came to Anon’s face. Her eyes would be half-lidded and unfocused, her mane would be all over the place, she’d have a patch drool on her chin and cheek and the fur on her face would be so messy that he couldn’t understand just how she managed to come out of the bathroom an hour later looking like a million bits.
Truly, at the moment that she opened his eyes to look at him, as frazzled and as [i]exposed[/i], she was the most beautiful creature in the world.
He perked up as a noise shattered the silence of the house. Two sets of hooves could be heard charging down the hallway toward their bedroom. These weren’t the footfalls of an adult pony however, but the steps of two young, excitable children.
“Mommy, mommy! Daddy, daddy!”
lap
lap is that you
>>27711733
Before he could lift his head from his pillow the bedroom door was thrown open. With a bang the edge of the door slammed against the wall. This caused a picture to fall to the ground with a crash.
Rarity tensed against him as she went from fast asleep to wide awake. “Anon? ANON! We are being robbed dear!” she cried, her head swiveling as she held onto him. “Call the authorities! Call Twilight! Call—”
Anon watched with bemusement as two sets of eyes poked up over the end of the bed. They were pretty little blue eyes. Excited, happy, awake even at this hour and not able to sit still no matter what, he knew the owners of those eyes.
“Exclusive, Bernina, what did I tell you two about trying to scare your mother half to death?” he asked as he held a shaking and shimmering Rarity close.
The eyes looked at each other before they looked back at him. “Only do it on Nightmare Night,” two shrill, adolescent voices said in unison.
Rarity’s ears perked up. “Exclusive? Bernina?” she said, exhaustion thick in her voice. “Oh my goodness you nearly gave me a heart attack!”
Regret could be seen in the two pairs of eyes. “Sorry mommy,” one of them said.
“Yeah, sorry mommy. We didn’t mean to scare you,” the other added.
Anon yawned into a hand as he looked over at the clock that he had sitting on the nightstand by the bed. It was four in the morning in the dot. Even though his beautiful little girls were early risers, just like their mother, not even they got up this early in the morning. Nuzzling Rarity’s cheek, he racked his brain, trying to remember why the two would have gotten up at this ungodly hour.
>>27711763
Both of his daughters, two pure white little unicorns, both of which had his jet black hair and sense of humor, slowly climbed up into the bed. Little Exclusive, her mane unruly like it always was, let her horn spark to life. Her little sister, Bernina, who still hadn’t gotten her cutiemark, though he expected to hear the good news any day now, scrunched up her little face in concentration as her horn also sparked to life. There was a pop, and with a burst of magic a two plates of food appeared in front of both him and Rarity.
“Happy parent’s day, mommy and daddy!” Bernina chirped, dragging a hoof across her snotty nose.
“Yeah, happy parent’s day!” Exclusive cried with a smile.
There were two pancakes, misshapen and burnt black, on the plates along with some fruit that looked like it had been hacked to pieces and some yellow, flaky mess that might have been hash browns. It wasn’t the most appetizing breakfast that he had ever seen, and he couldn’t help but noticed that both of his daughters were covered in black soot and batter, but Anon couldn’t help but smile all the same.
“Parents day?” Rarity muttered quietly, her hamster still half asleep. “What on earth are the two of you talking—”
“It’s our anniversary today,” Anon helpfully supplied, kissing his wife’s brow.
Rarity's mouth became an O shape. "Oh my goodness," she muttered. "Is it that time already?"
“Yeah! It’s your annie-ver-serie!” Bernina said, looking so happy that she might burst. “Me an’ sis remembered aunt Twily talkin’ about it the other day so we make you two breakfast in bed!”
“I made the pancakes!” Exclusive said with a wiggle. “Bernina made the other stuff!”
Rarity, though her eye twitched at the mess that her daughters were making of her covers, smiled. “Aw, well thank you ever so much, my dears,” she said as she touched a hoof to her chest.
“It looks… delicious,” Anon added.
>>27711797
The sight of the girls smiling hugely brought a smile to his face as his little girls beamed. No doubt the kitchen looked like tornado had gone through it and he wouldn’t be surprised if his daughters tried to get out of school today to help the two of them “celebrate” but he couldn’t help but grin as he held his disheveled, tired, beautiful wife against his side.
Rarity, though she no doubt had the same thoughts about a messy kitchen as he had, looked up at him with a smile. It was a smile that not very many saw, a smile that she first shared with him when the two had decided to move into together. Anon had also seen that smile when he had said yes when Rarity had offered him the wedding ring that he still wore on his right hand.
A warmth filled his chest as he leaned down and gave Rarity, his friend, his bed buddy, his wife, his love, a kiss. Rarity, with a giggle, closed her eyes and kissed back. Just like the first time he kissed her a jolt raced throughout his body. He could feel his heart beating in his chest. He could feel his wife’s mane, still shockingly soft even after all of these years together, tickle his face as she leaned up. In the background he could hear his daughters jagging and making other disgusted noises but he ignored it.
Rarity, her eyes still closed, wrapped her hooves around his neck. Not breaking the kiss, she laid the two of them back into the bed and under the covers.
In a few moments the two would have to get up. They’d have to choke down what their daughters had made, they’d have to race downstairs and clean up the kitchen and get both of the girls ready and out the door for school. But, under those soft silk covers, for those few moments, the husband and wife just simply laid together and loved.
Breaking the kiss, Rarity pressed her forehead against his. One of her eyes opened, filled with warmth and love and joy “Happy anniversary, you old ruffian.”
>>27711830
Anon cupped his wife’s cheek, enjoying her scent and her feel and her warmth. “Happy anniversary, you old lady you.”
>>27710463
What about /k/ anon in RGRE?
>Anon going home from his job as a waiter cos that's all he could get
>It's OK, the tips are great.
>Late at night cos he's a man and men are 87% more likely to work over time than women.
>Drunk mares stalking Anon
>Anon realizes
>Takes wrong turn into ally
>Surrounded by mares
>"Just relax pretty colt, we'll be gentle."
>Anon ain't havin it
"HEAR ME OFFICER WILSON! HELP ME IN MY TIME OF NEED!"
>Puts two into one of the mares
>Gun jams before he can shoot another
"But Hks aren't supposed to jam!"
>Police arrive to find 4 mares crying and rolling on the ground
>1 bleeding and injured but not dead cos Anon got a meme caliber and couldn't train often enough, so he missed most important things.
>Anon bawling on the ground because he spent thousands of dollars on a gun they said wouldn't jam.
>Mares get PTSD, and tell the story of why you shouldn't stalk colts.
>The mare he shot, get's him a wedding ring.
>Yea he accepts
>Anon gets a 1911 like he should have in the first place.
>Their first son gets a glock for his birthday.
>Anon ok with it, until he finds out it's a .40.
>Waifu reminds him that if he wasn't shooting .40 that day, he would have never gotten married.
>Laugh track plays.
>Anon rails his wife in front of his kid.
>They grow up to be successful, but mentally injured.
>>27711833
Alright, this is the only chapter that I'm not sure about, I might go ahead and completely overhaul it. Maybe, maybe not. I don't know.
That being said, this whole little story is all done. Expect more lifter Anon in a couple of days
>>27711833
A very cute story LaP. Some spelling mistakes here and there, but a very cute story. Would have liked a gag bit where Anon and Rarity didn't wake up together after they moved in (experimentation by Twilight?) to see what happens, but that's just me.
>>27711667
No, it was good. I like your writing style, Slownon.Welcome back, I hope.
>>27711730
>"We doth thing that thou art comparable to a moonrise, for thy presence heralds serene beauty and intimacy. For soothe, please respondeth."
Thing is, Luna has spent the last thousand years all by herself, so concepts like being physically hidden from another person are a bit alien to her.
>Anon receives note
>Only one mare speaks like this, and she's hiding behind Anon's legs as he reads the note.
>She's doing her best; she was her forelegs over her eyes and she's muttering "thou cannot see Us" under her breath
>>27711733
>“Mommy, mommy! Daddy, daddy!”
oh shit
>>27711763
OH SHIIIIIIIT
>>27711833
What a cozy, happy ending. I was not expecting that massive jump in time and sudden kids, but I'm okay with it.
>>27711848
The only thing I did not like was that you introduced the concept of aging and brought up the idea that one day ponies will grow old and, eventually, die. Leave me to my timeless, eternally-young hugbox.
>>27711844
i like the way you think anon. needs more moist nugget fanboys if you want to be super /k/.
>>27710479
Forgot to ask: what to sketch next after Venus Daddy request?
>>27711848
Cute and cozy. But I've honestly expected some more shenanigans and situations related to that "strange anomaly" of Anon and Rarara, or Twilight experiments with their problem, like >>27711849 suggested, not straight to happy ending
>>27706148
awww, Im flattered my drunken smut would inspire more (better) smut.
stay frosty, Frosty
>>27711730
>>27711882
Oh god I need this!
>>27711833
Yuss. Mommyrity.
>>27711645
"Applejack?"
>Applejack's head whips over to you, hoof pulled back mid-punch, and mouth open mid-insult.
>"Yer father's a wh-dangit, Anawn, can't y'all see Ah'm 'fending yer honor?"
>You cock an eyebrow, too amused to be upset.
"Applejack."
>Applejack trots over to you after giving Rarity one last mean look.
>"Ah mean it! This here filly wants to dress you up like some kinda stallion of the night!"
"Applejack, let me talk."
>The orange mare stomps her hooves like she's trotting in place, seemingly outraged at your behaviour.
>"Not 'til yer done-"
>You reach down and scoop Applejack into your arms and boop her with a free hand.
"I need clothes, Jacks. I don't have fur like you guys, so I need something to cover up or else I'll get cold.
>Applejack doesn't bother struggling to get out of your embrace like she usually would.
>You guess she's really passionate about this weird "clothes" thing.
>"No, you don't! Ah - Ah have lotsa blankets down at Sweet Apple Acres! Jus' come back with me an' Ah'll keep you all warm and crispy, y'hear?"
>She reaches out and manage to grab your cheeks with both her hooves.
>"C'mon, Anawn, Ah don't wanna see another nice colt ruined by temptation."
>This is the dumbest argument you've ever been a part of.
>>27711833
Great story, but i have one question: Where is Sweety Belle? At least at the begining of the stuff, she should still be living with her sister.
>>27711833
>dat pic
>Rarity will never try to hid on top of your white sheets so that she can playfully ambush you
>You will never play along despite her mane and tail giving her away>If you go to Equestria, ponies will probably find you just as unlikable as humans do here on Earth
>>27712055
I'm so glad you did actually read it.
Not-drunken? yes
Better? Ehhh, debatable. I liked your descriptions a lot, and it didn't seem like many people were into mine anyway.
>>27712276
Nah, fuck that I was into both.
>>27712225
Yeah probably.
>>27712175
The silliest pony.
>>27712175
>>"C'mon, Anawn, Ah don't wanna see another nice colt ruined by temptation."
"Don't worry, Jacks. Temptation won't ruin me; I always say yes.Just ask your sister."
>>27712567
>"Applebloom, Ah thought Ah taught y'all better than that!"
>>"But AJ! He done said it was how his species says 'hello'!"
>>27711882
>You read the note a second time and tuck it away in your pocket.
>You can feel Luna, pressed up against the back of your legs, trembling in fear.
>The poor girl thinks she's hiding from you.
>"Th-thou cannot see Us..."
>Dammit, Luna.
>You clear your throat loudly, causing Luna go to completely still.
"My! What a lovely note that was. If only I knew who had written it; I might give my secret admirer a great big kiss on th-"
>CLOP CLOP CLIPPITY-CLOP SCAMPER SCAMPER SKID CRASH
>And off she goes.
So I remember from an episode of the Magic Schoolbus that bird tails are used as rudders. How does this affect pegasi?
>>27712922
Magic bullshit.
>>27712875
moar when
>>27712953
Hopefully soon anon. There is never enough cute Luna in the world.
>>27712922
I dunno, maybe their tail causes enough drag to be useful in that regard?
>shave RD's tail
>she spirals out of control until it grows back
>>27712816
"In my defense, Jackie, I am chocked full of protein and essential amino acids. Honestly, I'm the best thing for growing fillies like her."
>>27712953
>>27712875
>You are Celestia, and you're having breakfast with your sister.
>"Oh, sister, you don't understand!"
>Luna pushes her food around her plate, absent-mindedly playing with her breakfast.
>"He's so kind to Us! He's funny, and smart, and we're such close chums!"
>You just smile indulgently at her. Once every couple hundred years, a colt will catch your sister's fancy and she'll obsess over him for decades.
>"We even... We...."
>Luna blushes, which isn't something you see every day.
>Despite her, to be quite frank, coltish behaviour, Princess Luna does not blush.
>"We gifted to him a note from his 'secret admirer'."
>Oh Faust, Luna. What are you, 200?
>"And he hast no idea 'twas Ourselves!"
>You sister clops her hooves together excitedly before attacking her meal with gusto.
>"Didst thou see how-"
>>"Morning, girls!"
>With a lurch and a loud thump, Luna dives underneath the table and scatters her breakfast all over the floor.
>>"Uh..."
>Anonymous holds up a letter. The parchment is from her personal stock, custom-made only for her.
>>"I received a letter from my secret admirer."
>You can't help but shoot a smirk down at your sister, who has taken to hiding around your rear hooves.
>>"On a completely unrelated matter, have you seen Luna anywhere?"
>From below you can hear "Thou cannot see Us..." being muttered.
>>27713028
>"See, Applejack? Yer always wantin' me t' eat healthier and that's what ahm doin'. I ate up everything he gave me."
>The littlest Apple's eyes glaze over, her nostrils flare and she looks at you.
"Its practically a public service, Jackie."
>"Every... last... drop. And there was so much of it! You'd a been proud of me, Applejack, if you weren't so jealous."
>"Now, lissin here, mis-"
>"And another thing, since he's so healthy and good for fillies ahm gonna take him over to see Scoots and Sweetie. Us fillies need him more than you do, anywho."
>Applebloom snorts and takes a challenging step toward a surprised Applejack, who backs confusedly away from her suddenly assertive little sister.
>"C'mon Ahnon, yer gonna take care of all my friends."
>>27713028
>Anon's fluids have unique and powerful magical properties to them when used right
>His sperm is packed full of pony nutrients
>His sweat has 200x the amount of salt in it that a ponies, making it a potent drug
>His tears show that you've made a colt cry and it makes you feel really bad
etc etc
>>27711882
>>27712875
>>27713100
This is some premium grade cute
>>27713102
oh my
>>27713121
I'm pretty sure this means more, we need more
>>27713112
>A line of mares saying mean things to Anon to make him cry
>They loudly apologize as they collect his tears in little vials
>>27711833
Dude never mind this ending. That What is Love? ending though.
>The Luna romance just got dropped even though it was originally the premise.
>Possible Twilight/Flash romance stopped progresing.
>Celestia and Shining Armor never found what was missing from their lives.. Never found out what
>corrupt noble clans plot-line dropped.
>Bat-horse disappeared.
What the fuck man? I wouldn't bother bringing this up if I didn't respect you so much. You're better than this.
>>27713542
A story doesn't always need to be wrapped up in a nice little bow, Anon. Sometimes an ending can leave some questions and some things for interpretation
So, random bit - I was going through my pastebin, and realized that "Just Talk to Him" had like... 3 missing posts. So I updated that shit.
http://pastebin.com/NeEq9VCT
Is full and complete. I'm also working on green for tonight.
>>27711667
always amusing to see anons honor defended
>>27713121
>>27713307
Yes, we need moar. Pls
Green. Not the largest update, I just need to get things moving so I can end the story.
>"Your contianer is here," the mare says, passing you an oddly shaped jar, "and you are free to use whatever materials are around. If you need something different, feel free to ask and we'll check our supplies."
>With that, she walks out and you lock the door behind her.
>You never thought it would be this awkward to get your genes tested, but here you are, in a room filled with porn.
>Setting the collection jar on the table for a moment, you look around, scanning the numerous magazines on the tables.
>Oh, is that a Victor's Secret catalogue?!
>Picking up the catalogue, you flip through the pages, looking at the fashions of a few years ago.
>Until you hit some pages stuck together, reminding you of why you're here.
>Letting out a sigh, you move the jar to a useable spot, close your eyes and think of Cadence.
~~~
>"No need to worry about your husband, Princess," the doctor says, eyeing her tools and your nether regions they are in, "The room is specially made so nopony can peek on him or just walk in."
"That's nice," you say before a shiver runs down your back at the cold instruments, "but I'd rather not have you talking too much while you're working on me."
>"Sorry, sorry, just force of habit, you know. So many mares worried about their colts."
>Your insides spread just a little more, pushed by the implements of medicine.
>"Alright, we're ready for the main part now, just stay as still as you can, it may feel weird, but it's perfectly harmless."
>For a moment, you feel nothing but the slowly warmed instruments inside you, but soon a soft pressure forms inside you.
>It doesn't expand, but it moves slowly, in places you've never felt before.
>After less than a minute, it vanishes, and the doctor sits back.
>"Whew, that never gets easier," she says, "but it's done. It'll take us a week or so to do our testing, but in the mean time, you're free to keep trying."
>>27713651
>The implements are removed, and you find yourself clenching a bit, to make sure they're all gone.
"So that's it? They did it with blood, way back when."
>"That may have been different testing. This is genetic compatability, specifically to find troubles getting pregnant."
"What were you doing then, if I may ask?"
>"Well, if we want to test with you and your husband, we need some genetic material from you both, specifically the sexual kind of material."
"Wait, does that mean you...?!"
>"Yes, I extracted a very small number of eggs from you. And before you panic, this won't do much of anything, since you Alicorns can, at least in theory, breed for life."
"I see. Do we need to make an appointment for the information when it's ready, or will you send mail or something?"
>"We will send you a letter, but if there's anything major, we'll have to ask you to come in."
>Giving a nod, you walk back to the main lobby, where Shining is reading a coltsmo magazine.
>"Done dear?" He asks, looking up the moment you enter the room.
"For now, yes. It'll take a bit before they have the results ready," you say, picking your saddlebag up from the rack.
>"So I heard. Hopefully it will be good news."
"I hope so as well," you say, giving his cheek a quick nuzzle.
~~~
>Trees pass by as you, Luna and Venus ride the train to Ponyville.
>Since this was the last week of your honeymoon leave, you figured heading down to visit Rarity for Nightmare Night would be nice.
>That, and Luna plans on visiting there on Nightmare Night anyways, since that's where the old castle is.
>Something about collecting a bounty from foals.
>"Dear please, come join me, there's plenty of room on the pillows."
>Looking over, you see your wife beconing you from a massive bed of pillows and blankets.
>Apparently Celestia set this up for her, "just in case".
>Venus is entertaining herself with a comic book, Flying Nocturnal Mammal Mare, by the looks of it.
>>27713659
>Sliding off your seat, you shift over to the pregnant pony holder that fills up most of the floor.
>She may still be early into it, but you can tell her belly is a little fuller than usual.
"What's up, my little moon pony, feeling lonely on the soft, warm floor?"
>"Oh quiet you, is it wrong for a mare to want to cuddle her colt?
"If it's in public, yes, or so I've heard."
>Instead of a retort, she just grabs you with magic and pulls you down into the softness.
>Both the pillows and her.
>It's not long till Venus decides to join in the family snuggle pile, and the three of you doze off till you arrive.
~~~
>Holding up a finger to shush you wife and daughter, you open the door and duck inside.
>As the bell dings, you hear, "Welcome to the Carousel Boutique, where *Gasp* Anon, what are you doing here, you should have sent a letter, I would have had tea ready, and..."
"How are you doing, Rarity?" you ask, ignoring her panic.
>"Darling, I don't even have biscuits," she says, heading for the door, "I'll have to run to SugarCube Corner, and..."
"Rarity, calm yourself," you say, grabbing her shoulders, "We're going to be here for a while, there's no rush for anything."
>"But..."
"Don't go colty on me, Rarity, I need you to make us costumes."
>Her eyes suddenly gleam with inspiration, a smile forming.
>"Yes, I can do that. But still it's impolite of me not to at least put tea on."
>She heads to the kitchen, while you find a seat, along with Luna.
>"Miss Rarity, is Sweetie Belle here?" Venus asks, following the fashion pony to the kitchen.
>"She's out with her friends, darling, but she'll be back by dinner time, I'd guess."
>"Daddy, can I go out and play with her?" she asks, turning to you.
>Scratching your chin, you rise.
"How about you and I go get snacks, Venus, and if we find Sweetie on the way, you can join her."
>"Do I get to have one of the snacks if we do find her?"
"Maybe."
>>27713666
>A lower lip sticks out at you, and after a moment, you sigh.
"Okay, fine, you can have a snack if we find her."
>Venus rushes to the door ahead of you, and before you leave, you turn to your wife.
"Try not to bug her with your cravings too much, Dear."
>Luna smiles and waves you off with a hoof, so you step out into the sunlight.
~~~
>"Princess Cadence, while we were going over your data, we uh..."
"You found what?"
>"Well, against every gene set we had, yours couldn't pair with any of them."
"None of them?"
>The doctor shakes his head, "No pony, griffon, minotaur, we even tried changeling, which is VERY adaptive, but no luck."
"What about Shining, is he normal?"
>"There's no problems with your husband. His genetics line up with what's expected, which unfortunately means he doesn't match for you, either."
>Letting out a brief sigh of relief, you find yourself staring at the ground.
>That means you're the problem, but you've had a child before.
>It must mean that Anon...
"What about Human? Do you have any of that genetic?"
>"You mean the prince?" The doctor asks with a raised eyebrow, "No, we don't have a record for him, why?"
"He impregnated Princess Luna, perhaps his genes contain some secret."
>The doctor taps her hoof on the table in thought.
>"Hmnn, perhaps, but we can't just ask a colt to give us his genes."
"I'll ask him, we are sort of family, after all."
>"In my experience, it's best to be gentle when easing him into the idea. A lot of colts are rather reserved about, you know."
"At least my dear Shining has nothing to worry about."
>Getting to your hooves, you shake hooves with the doctor, and head for the door.
>"Oh, before you go, Princess, the sooner you get the sample the better. Your sample will only last a few days longer before we'll need a fresh one."
>>27713100
>"W-we would... like it if thou wouldst accompany Us to the late-night carnival tomorrow evening."
>Luna wrings her hooves together, her metal slippers making an unpleasant grinding noise.
>"We promise to win thou a fluffy stuffed pony i-if thou accepts Our invitation, Lord Anonymous..."
>This is just too cute.
>>27713670
>Your lower back shudders, and you nod.
>That's not something you want to feel again.
>Now to find Anon.
>And convince him to cum for you.
>This may have seemed easier before you thought about it.
~~~
And done for now. There won't be a whole lot left to the story, but the ending should solve most things.
Pastebin updated soon.
>>27713561
>A story doesn't always need to be wrapped up in a nice little bow, Anon. Sometimes an ending can leave some questions and some things for interpretation
There's a difference between leaving things up to the reader's interpretation and aborting arcs and putting characters on a bus.Not sure which one is this because I didn't read your story though.
>>27713679
>"Anon, quick!"
"C-cadence? What are you-"
>"I need to to masturbate!"
"What."
>"RIGHT NOW!"
>>27713721
"I'm way ahead of y~aaAAH!~ou."
>When you woke up this morning you were feeling great, screw it you felt like you were on top of the world.
>The papers all over Equestria were abuzz with your latest letter.
>A voice in the back of your head constantly told you to be the bigger man and let the situation end.
>But to hell with that noise.
>Yearling was the one that decided to poke you, metaphorically that is.
>Any response short of launching her out of a trebuchet would be an insult to yourself and her.
>But alas, you would need to figure out a new way to torture the pony.
>And as luck would have it you got your chance at breakfast.
>You were the first one in the kitchen, so by default the obligation of making breakfast fell on to you.
>Besides you enjoyed cooking, in a way it was almost relaxing.
>Not that you’d let anyone know that.
>This world was already bad enough with the whole “Get in the kitchen colt” thing.
>Grabbing some stuff from the pantry and fridge you began prepping the grand old traditional Mouse breakfast.
>Soon enough you had a few golden cakes going and the haybacon sizzling for Spike and Twilight.
>God you miss bacon.
>But in this world there might be a chance you could get told off by porky for even looking at ‘em funny.
>You think… you might want to check on that later just to be sure.
>It was only a minute before you heard the pitter patter of hooves and claws entering the kitchen.
>”Something smells good.” A certain purple horse remarked eyes still fighting to open.
“Breakfast will be ready soon, can you both go and set the table?”
>”On it boss.”
>With a mock salute from the drake, they were both off.
>Twilight struggling to follow behind him.
>>27713764
>Balancing three plates full to the brim with pancakes, hash browns, eggs, and haybacon, and tofu breakfast sausage you entered the dining room.
>Twilights face was planted firmly on the table and a small snore could be heard coming from her direction.
>Aw Twilight’s not a morning horse.
>Maybe one day she’ll discover the joys of coffee.
>Spike looked just as bad.
>Except he looked like he was about to…
>”Beeeeeeerp!!!”
>A scroll shot out of the green flames.
>Maybe because it was so early and his reflexes weren’t as ready, the scroll flew right through his outstretched hand and smacked Twilight right on the head.
>Twilight didn’t even react for a second, eventually one hoof raised acted like it was trying to swat at whatever hit her, but it was a half-hearted attempt.
>Placing the plates down you snatched the scroll up and opened it up.
>Seeing as Spike was now busy trying to inhale the contents of the plate in front of him you decided to read it out loud.
“My Dearest Twilight, the time has come again for the Grand Galloping Gala. I realize there’s a lot going on in your life, but I really hope you can make it.”
>The Gala huh?
>Twilight told you stories, scary, disturbing stories about the gala.
“Enclosed are tickets for you and the other elements. I was also hoping to catch up with Anon and Spike so please let me know if they would like to come.”
>In that instant your brain, despite many years of alcohol abuse decided to help you out.
>This was going to be a very interesting and fun time.
>Provided of course Celestia allowed you to bring a date.
>>27713749
>You are Cadence
>You've got cum on your face
>You feel very conflicted right now
>>27713772
>You were working on your latest installment of the new Daring Do.
>So naturally you must be the best author to have ever graced the world.
>It had been a couple days since you left your house now.
>Partly because the inspiration had struck you to sit down and write, but also because of that darn stallion.
>UUHHHHHH!! He got under your fur.
>You honestly didn’t expect him to keep up his ridiculous lie and continue to send more stuff to that accursed paper.
>So what if you had started it!
>It didn’t give him the right to just make up random lies like that!
>You nearly fainted when you read the one before your self-imposed isolation.
>”Oh yeah, Yeary, my pet name for her, she just loves to cuddle. Let me tell you! Sometimes she would just pull me aside in public for some snuggle sessions.”
>THE LIES!!!!!
>He will pay, maybe not today, or tomorrow, but one day that darn colt will lay before you.
>Slicked up and out of those slutty clothe….
>NAUGHTY THOGHTS!!!
>Bad Yearling.
>A knocking on your door however meant that you had to however interact with others.
>Opening the door you relaxed.
>It was the mail-mare.
>Probably another bunch of junk-mail and fan letters.
>”Good morning Ma’am, just one today.”
>After a quick thank you, you were back in your study looking at the scroll.
>But it was the seal on the scroll that made you hesitate to open it.
>The thing came from the Princesses.
>Why the buck where they sending you a message?
>Oh buck! What if they believed the stuff in the papers? Were they going to banish you?
>>27713778
>Taking a deep breath you unsealed it and began reading.
>Your eyes skimmed over the neat writing.
>”My little pony, You are hereby cordially invited to attend the Grand Galloping Gala as the date of Mr. Anon E. Mouse. You will find your ticket enclosed, I’m quite looking forward to meeting you. Signed Princess Celestia.”
>Oh buck me.
>Getting banished actually sounds appealing now.
>That colt, getting Princess Celestia involved in your dispute.
>Well guess what? You were going to go.
>After all, with all that garbage he fed to the papers, his marefriend should be by his side there.
>In the time between when you first read the scroll from the princess and the day of the gala you got some work done.
>You wrote several new books that somehow, despite you not really making them that scary, continued to send shockwaves throughout the pony world.
>Thankfully you put a nice big disclaimer on the first page that you were not liable for any side-effects of reading your books.
>Then there was the fame.
>Your popularity grew, as did your savings.
>At this rate you’d have enough money to move out and buy a house.
>Anon the homeowner had a nice ring to it honestly.
>A nice place with a picket fence and an annoying neighbor named Steve.
>It was every mans dream.
>But house hunting would have to come later.
>Sitting in a lone compartment on a train you toyed with the ticket to the gala, flipping it this way ad that.
>You caught yourself short of folding it into a plane a few times now.
>>27713784
>Twilight insisted on teleporting you there, but you’ve seen the “Fly”, if the Blum didn’t do it right then neither would you.
>Dressed in a suit that was a gift from a certain fashion horse you definitely turned some heads.
>Then again because of being the only human around you turned heads regardless.
>Oh well, you still looked good.
>And tonight you were going to have fun.
>Mingle with some friends and maybe scare a few ponies.
>Not to mention the free food.
>And there was your little “prank”.
>You had made the mask from one of your first books and were planning on scaring a few of the party goers.
>No way was that going to blow up in your face.
>Hell if Yearling decided to take the bait maybe you’d get a chance to scare her as well.
>And if she didn’t… oh well you would still crack a few jokes at her expense.
>Boy did you know how to hold a grudge.
>In a very dark room in the Royal Canterlot Castle sat a certain pony.
>A very unhappy and tired pony.
>The table in front the pony lay littered with empty coffee cups and take out.
“Tonight cannot come quickly enough.”
“Soon Anonymous will arrive and we shall finally get our revenge!”
>The door to room opened casting the darkness aside with light.
>”Luna you need to star.. euughgh WHAT IS THAT SMELL?!?!?”
>Celestia recoiled at the odor coming from inside.
>”Sister dearest, I believe a bath before the Gala is in order.”
---
And done for now. Pastebin is updated: http://pastebin.com/ivLcbi1h
>>27713679
Are we voting what happens? If we're voting what happens my vote is to tell her to fuck off.
>>27713749
>"Cadence, honey, how did you get that sa-"
"I came on her FACE!" anon beams.
>"She never lets me come on her face..."
And that's the story of how Cadence slept on the couch for a week
>>27713830
No, you're not voting. I know what I'm doing for the rest of the story, I just need the drive to write it.
>>27713721
>>27713749
>>27713777
>>27713838
Very amusing.
Deadlifts
>>27713880
>Not telling us to go to sleep
It's like I don't even know who you are any more.
>>27713880Go to bed, Anon
>>27713918You too
>>27713676
Moar
>>27713864
>No, you're not voting. I know what I'm doing for the rest of the story, I just need the drive to write it.
Not the first time I've been disenfranchised this year.
>>27713659
>>"Yes, I extracted a very small number of eggs from you.
how
>>27714140
Magic
>>27714140
Magic.
>>27714140
Vigorous oral sex.
>>27714361
A.k.a magic.
>>27713676
>"H-here! 'Tis a stuffed pony made in Our likeness!"
>Luna shoves the stuffed pony onto your chest and tucks your arms over it in a hug.
>"We would not be offended if thou wanted to cuddle it in thine bed at night."
>Luna's heavy blush bleeds through the dark blue of her coat, clear to you despite how dark tonight was.
>"We want to impress upon thee that We will always be there if thou has a bad dream..."
>Aww.
>AWW
>God, this mare right here.
>Someone's earned her kisses.
>While Luna's distracted with her adorable little spiel, you lean forward and cup her cheek.
>"Lord Ano-"
>You silence her with a peck on the lips.
"Thank you, Luna," you say as you pull back, "that was very sweet of you."
>You feel a bit cheeky, so you wink at her stunned form.
"I'll be thinking of you tonight."
>Luna reaches up to cup her lips with a hoof, but she pulls away at the last moment.
>"B-by the Ancients..."
>>27711210
What we need is new art.
Kinda surprised this thread hasn't attracted more drawfags.
>>27714454
Could you say her honour has beenbesmooched?
>>27714454
this pleases me
>>27712211
Canon says she only stays with her sister sometimes like when the folks are going on vacation.
Last thread gave me some ideas...
What ponies could legitimately be changelings in ponyville?
>>27714631
Bonbon(Several of her are often seen around)
Fluttershy(Antisocial around ponies, but loves affection, so she turns to animals for food, since their love is fairly unconditional)
Mrs. Cake (That fat is from too much love, explains the twins, since changelings have both sides. Mr Cake is a little underweight due to direct love feeding.)
like, 5-10% of background ponies.
>>27714650
For my plan it gives bon bon a good reason to be shitty to anon, and is a fair reason for flutter and cake to not be shitty.
I'm thinking of just having one hive, and making it a place that changelings can go and be 'safe' though may not be the best place to be.
Would the changelings who live outside be be rogues who abandoned the hive, or would it make more sense that chrysalis isn't shitty, and just wants what's best for what are legitimately her children weather its with her or without?
>>27714493
Oh you, Shukaku. That made me chuckle.
>>27714518
But wait! There's more!I've decided to turn that scene into a whole entire story.
>You are Anon, newest human in Equestria (which is to say, the ONLY human in Equestria) and current resident of the Princess's Castle in Canterlot.
>Despite your rather alarming and sudden appearance in the middle of breakfast, you and the Royal Sisters get along very well.
>"Lord Anonymous? Art thou awake?"
>Especially you and Princess Luna.
>She's a sweet little pony; awkward and still learning how to adjust to modern living.
"Come on in, Luna. I've been awake for a while."
>Silence.
>Your door remains closed, and you KNOW you didn't lock it.
>"Ha-hast thou made thyself decent for a mare's eyes?"
>You're stricken with uncertainty.
>You hate questions that make you question things you've just done.
>Like all those times you forgot your student number during university exams.
>No time for that, Anon; time to double-check that you don't have your cock out or something.
>Shirt? Check. P-jay-jays? Check. Underwear beneath those pants? Check.
>Your sleeping outfit present in its entirety, you nod confidently to yourself.
"I'm all covered up, Luna. You don't have to worry about fainting at the sight of me."
>Your door swings open to reveal a slightly-peeved Luna.
>She's got a frowny face and her cheeks are puffy and you REALLY want to play with her ears.
>" 'Tis not for Our sake, Lord Anonymous. We worry only for thine coltish virtue."
>She hops up onto your bed and plops her rump down next to you and leans up against your pillows.
>You reach under your bed and pull out one of your old story books from way back when.
"Luna, the only ponies who approach me in this castle are you and your sister, so you don't have to worry about my 'coltish virtue'."
>>27714684
>You flip through your book and try to find your bookmark.
>As usual, it got loose and fell in between the pages.
"And you don't have to call me 'Lord' Anonymous, you know."
>You reach the end of the book without finding the bookmark. You sigh in irritation and start your search again from the front; but this time, you're a bit slower.
"I'm not nearly important enough to garner a title." you mutter, more to yourself than anything.
>Luna's hearing, already superior to your own as a pony, picks up on your half-spoken sentence easily.
>"Th-thou art to Us, Lord Anonymous."
>You jab your thumb on the page you're looking through and look over to Luna.
>She catches your eye and, a blush blossoming on her dark blue features, jerks her head down to look at your book, which you now have resting on your lap.
"That's really sweet of you, Luna." you say, reaching your free hand out to rest on the top of her head, "Thank you."
>"Th-thou also..."
>Her usual regalia is absent this morning, which is usual for when she visits you.
>You suppose she's trying to learn how to dress (or undress, in this case) casually, and the alien who is as ignorant to how modern Equestria works is as good a practice dummy as any.
>It's just as well that you know as little as she does; you're less likely to judge her for when she slips up.
>>27714678
The changelings in ponyville provide food for the main hive, since the small town has less guard and more friendly folk. Most food is gathered passively from the general populace, but there are instances like Mrs. Cake who can keep her colt looking thin while still feeding.
>>27714694
oh shit why isn't the third part posting
>>27714694
>You remove your hand from Luna's head far too soon for your own liking.
>Luna seems to feel the same way, however; she struggles to push her head back into your retreating appendage, even when it ends with Luna almost tumbling into your lap.
>You chuckle good-naturedly and turn your attention back to your book, only to find that your hand slipped at some point and all your progress searching for the bookmark has been lost.
"Well," you sigh, closing the book on your lap, "I've lost the bookmark."
>You turn to face Luna quickly enough to catch the look of disappointment on her face.
"Is there any particular story you want to hear, or would you like to start from the beginning?"
>Luna's disappointment blooms into excitement, and her eyes light up.
>Did she think you weren't going to read to her just because you lost your bookmark?
>"Which would take longer, Lord Anonymous?"
>Aw, is this her game?
"Starting from the beginning."
>Luna wriggles her bottom into your sheets, working her way into a more comfortable position.
>"Let us start from the beginning, then. We art eager to learn Our letters this morrow."
"From the beginning it is, then."
>You clear your throat and flip to the first page of the first chapter.
"Goodnight Moon. By Margaret Wise Brown."This isn't just a one-shot; there's more to come.Fuck you, >>27713634, you posted that image before I did and gave me trouble when I was trying to post this post.
Here's the pastebin, btw. http://pastebin.com/8CMW0icz
I hope y'all are ready for a ride.
>>27713803
haha noice looking forward to more
>>27714747
Strapped in and ready to go.
>>27711848
So what was it that caused the sleepwalking to begin with? Or is this gonna fall under the bs "better left to the reader's imagination" category?
>>27714734
My feels are ready.
>>27714734
>Fuck you, >>27713634, you posted that image before I did and gave me trouble when I was trying to post this post.
Sorry
>>27714796
Something something fate/Twolot/other something something
>>27714888
>because dad said so
There's your answer.
It's the Grineer, Anon
>>27714888
Vigorous oral sex.
>>27714867
You WILL be sorry. I'm going to cyber-bully the HELL out of you as soon as I figure out how to do it.
>>27714734
I'll post more tomorrow. I can't decide if I should stick with Luna's ye-olde-english script or if it'll sound better in modern script... or if THAT will take away from how "Luna" her inner-monologue would sound.
>>27714938
I'm willing to live with that. I choose to believe that Twilight was making Anon sleepwalk to HER house, but she fucked up hard and got Rarity instead.
>>27714888
I did call it, didn't I. Twilight shipped them because princess of love foalsitter and she's the only one they'd go to about magical causes because princess of magic.
>>27714140
The egg retrieval itself is a minimally invasive surgical procedure lasting 20–30 minutes, performed under sedation (but sometimes without any). A small ultrasound-guided needle is inserted through the vagina to aspirate the follicles in both ovaries, which extracts the eggs.
[Spoiler]AKA Magic[/spoiler]
>Rainbow Dash keeps invading Anon's house to sleep on his super-comfy furniture
>It doesn't matter what Anon does; there is no window locked enough, nor is there a door closed enough to keep Rainbow Dash from being aggressively lazy in and around Anon's house
>Anon finds her on top of book cases, on top of fridges, in his bed, in his underwear drawer, in his closet, on top of his face when he wakes up in the morning, etc
>Also she make a bunch of sexist remarks and constantly asks Anon to go make her a sandwich
I just want Anon to deal with Rainbow Dash sleeping in his house against his wishes, okay?
>>27714734
This is so adorable it's physically painful. I can feel my skeleton trying to burst through my skin and search in vain for something cute to hug.
>>27712276
I enjoyed it too i just usually stay deep in the lurk but ill speak up if it helps provide more green and/or clop both are great.
>>27715291
>have you ever read something so cute your skeleton burst out of your body?
>>27715118
Neat.
>>27713679
>Karma
>"Thou canst escapeth the law, Anonymous!"
>You run into Day Court as quickly as you can, Luna on your heels.
"Celestia! Thank god it's you! I need help!"
>>"Anonymous? What's the-"
>Luna crashes into you, unable to stop on time.
>"He bippity-boppity-booped my snootie!"
>Gasps ring out from all the nobles.
>Celestia gives you a very disappointed look.
>>27713803
I'm loving it so far keep it up!
we need anon dating a pony, but to get back at them he waits till they go to meet the parents to let it all out.
>Twilight knocks on her parents door
> As you wait for them to answer you bend down to twilight's level
"Hey, twi, remember all the times you lectured me for over an hour on mundane things"
>"They are not mundane, Everypony should know how to properly bookmark..."
"How you had me take cooking lessons because I didn't know how to make pony based foods?"
>"And now you cook..."
"Or how they forced me to eat food that was borderline poison because they though I was on a stallions diet and that short hospital stay"
>The gears in her head turn
"Or how you left me on the table in the basement for 2 days strapped to it because I fell asleep and you got an emergency summons?"
>Her eyes open up wide, about to say something, the front door opens
>"Why hello twilight, and you must be..."
"Wazzup ma zigga, my names anon, and who might this very buckable mare be?
>Both look at you horrified
>Twilight's mom knows only the letters sent about you and how much twilight is in love with him, so she soldiers on, trying to be polite to this... not quite sure what it is.
>Twilight SAID it was a stallion, but its acting like a mare... a pigmentally challenged mare
>Sensing this awkward will only be resolved with an introduction
>"Why thank you..." Cutely shaking her head a bit "...I guess, I'm twilight's mom..."
>Anon looks to twilight and...
"Shiiiiit twi, if you told me your mom was this hot I'd have tried to herd with you two earlier"
>Anon looks at twilight with a shit eating grin
>Twilight looks as though you just told her pet died and then proceded to ask what she wants for dinner
>Twi mom is a very strange mix of flattered, horrified, hopeful that anon is not a mare
We need more creative revenge
>>27715765
Revenge is a dish best served with garlic bread.
I'd read it.
>>27715765
>Creative Revenge
Gives me an idea
>Be a mare who has just struck out. Again.
>You just don't get it
>sure you were never swimming in Colts before, but you could at least get a date on occasion
>Now it's like they all look at you like you're diseased
>You'd checked everything before you went out tonight, you look and smell fine.
>You weren't drunk, though with how many times you'd crashed and burned lately, you felt the need to get that way before the night was out
>With a sigh, you dejectedly go back to polishing off your cider
>You hear a colt give an exaggerated gasp nearby and can't help listening in
>"She didn't!"
>"She did!"
>Oh great, it's the one you were trying to get a date with a minute ago, and he's talking with some other colts
>and...Anon?!
>How did you not notice him earlier?!
>he's taller than anyone else in town!
>Buck it, he's even taller than Celestia!
>But somehow he can disappear into the crowd when he want's too, even with his fake marely attitude.
>Oh shit he's talking, what's he saying?
>...
>Oh no he didn't.
>...
>He did.
>He is.
>He's trash talking you to those colts, and he's probably done the same to every other colt in town.
>Now that you think about it
>Your relationship problems didn't start until after he got here.
>and up until a colt knew who you were they seemed kinda normal...
>for a colt anyway, who even understands how they think
>Anon was even more unfathomable than a regular colt
>His mind was so convoluted and confusing you were sure that even the other colts didn't understand him.
>Where were you? Oh right, they only got weird after they seemed sure that you were...well...*you*
>It's Anon, he's been warning all the colts in town about you
>filling their innocent ears with lies and slander!
>What did you ever do to him to deserve this?!
>You see anon get up and as he walks away from their little discussion, he looks straight at you.
>He gives you the evillest smirk you've ever seen in your life
>>27715765
kek
>>27715972
Going behind someone's back and spreading lies about them isn't that creative.
This Anon sounds like a dick.
>>27714888
Well, can't argue with trips. Something something it is.
>>27716598
But he's not lying, she admits that she's a shitty pone, but no one ever finds out until after she finishes. Anon is just ruining her game.
>>27710463
>they don't end up worshiping CLANG
do you even SE?
a more plausible scenario:
>anon gets lazy
>attempts to use ship AI to dock with space station
>several years pass
>somehow end up in ponyville
>fuck you, Keen
>>27716598
>>27716744
It's probably a mix of both. Some truth and some lies, mixed together, and embellished into stories that Anon tells some stallions, and then the gossip mill makes sure all of them know.
>>27716744
Where does she admit anything?
All I see is generic pickup artist for whom Anon has some agenda to fuck over
Maybe mention what Anons motive is, either from him, or what the mare thinks it would be. Cause right now it seems like he's being a cunt for the sake of being a cunt
>>27716962
I didn't bother to figure out the actual motive, but just vaguely assumed it was something similar to all the sexist bullshit Anon's deals with in other greens.
Maybe they used to date, and had a bad breakup over it.
I was more aiming for Anon figures out that if the mares are going to be such bitches to him over not acting like a stallion, he can get back at them via the stallion's by acting just like the mares expect stallion's too. Via gossip and petty bullshit.
If I actually had any skill as a writer, maybe I'd try a green where an Anon figures out that he can talk a whole bunch of stallions into helping to defend him from Mares making his life difficult.
>Pushy mare shows up to put Anon in his place and stop whatever foolishness he's up to this time
>Discovers a small herd of colts telling her to stop harassing the poor dear
>>27717074
Honestly, it's a simple enough fix
>Your relationship problems didn't start until after he got here.
That implies nothing more than he showed up, and started a rumour mill. Simply add some context like thus -
>The first time you saw him, strutting into a bar like he owned it, covered in clothes
>Even wearing socks. In public!
>So its not like you could be blamed for your assumption he was an 'exotic escort'
>Or his reaction, much angrier than a stallions would have been
>Dumping your cider on his shirt and calling him a teasing whore...
>Ok, that was on you.
I know stupid sexism mares are the goto, but you still should establish it. Though ideally better than that green I posted- I ain't a writer or done good with English
>>27713457
>Mare's attempt to make anon cry.
>They fail.
>Be anon
>This is pathetic.
>"Well you'll never go home!"
"I actually can i live with twiggles, ill go home right after this."
>"I-i ment you're planet!"
"Oh, well good thing i hated earth anyway."
>"Well, Well everypony will always see you as a monster and never love you!"
"I fuck about 3 mare's a day and have fucked both the royal sisters 7 times, and got dash waiting for me back at her place for when im done."
>"W-well you dress funny!"
"At least i can change clothes, you'll always have a ugly coat and main unless you dye it."
>Be moon dancer.
>your now crying after trying to make a colt cry.
>Y-your coat's not ugly is it?
>>27717309
>insulting second best nerdhorse
>not fucking her instead
its like you're not even human
>page 8
>>27716765
>Anon wants to mine the moon for platinum so that he can stop using hydrogen engines
>Doesn't bring enough hydrogen to fly along the moon
>Is stranded until the stars align so that he and NMM can return to Ponyville
>>27717309
>Insulting ponis
>Ever
Disgusting.
>>27718209
>anon is refining gold in the middle of the night so he can get off the horrible ride that is pone planet
>pones are to scared to get near the loud machine and want to get the stallion away from it
>>27718257
>>27718209
>Anon arrived at the season 1 start
>Those four stars, coming to aid NNM's escape? He was one of those.
>The other three were pirate ships coming to tear up his shit he had built on the moon previously.
>Saved NMM on the promise that she'd teach him how to breath in space.
>Woops
>>27711850
Thanks buddy, that's real nice and uplifting to see after the headache of the last couple of days. Honestly I am not sure if I will officially be back to writing here anytime soon. Probably lurking and the occasional one-shot. Glad that you like my writing style, I feel like I have to apologize for any grammatical errors present, it isn't my strong suit. And lastly, whoever you are, I hope you have a lovely day and best wishes to ya.
>>27718268
Keep going shits like from Homeworld religion, all gods and heroes are ships and commanders.
Multi-mare Assault.
>>27713542
Wait, What Is Love? was that human/Cadence sequel story on FimFic, right?
If that's the ending, man... what a crap-out.
>something something ponies don't like baths something RGRE something something Anon bathes ponies
>>27718468
>"Quick! It's his one weakness!"
>>"Oh, no! He's a bigger slut than we planned for! Ahh~"
>>27718612
>Ponies can't swim / can't swim well unless it's related to their cutie mark
>Cue Anon deciding to take a quick dip in a nearby stream/pond
>Ponies panic and think that Anon's going to drown
>>27718482
Baby don't hurt me
Don't hurt me
No more
>>27718724
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQITWbAaDx0
Is desustorage down for anyone else? I wanted to find stories where ponies think Anon can't swim but no dice
>>27718816
Domain name got fucked by the registrar over cp accusations.
Use the alternate at cuckchan.org
Also update 4chanx so it points at the new domain too if you use that.
>>27718816
It's apparently kaput, friend.
Apparently the new hotness is cuckchan.orgIt's listed as desustorage.
>>27713100
>attacking her meal
>''OH MY GOD IT COMING RIGHT FOR US''
>''FIRE ALL PEAS NOW NOW NOW''
>"FIRE THE CARROT CANNONS
>two minutes later
>''please no more please no more''
>a lonely pea sits on the battlefield
>it was a massacre
>it dident even flinch
>POW
>ded
>the end
>>27718842
>>27718859
Thanks buds
POP!
>With the kind of reflexes that you didn't know you had, you managed to twist your body and land on your hooves before you hit the ground
>Your friends, however, weren't so lucky, all of them hitting the dirt rather hard
>"Omph!"
>"Bucking-"
>"My word!"
>Weee!"
>"Dangit Twi!"
>...
>Alright...
>That teleportation could have gone a little better...
>Blowing a bit of your mane out of your face, you looked up to see that you were now standing outside of Anon's gym
>Well, the landing might have been a little bumpy but at least you didn't accidentally teleport anypony to Canter--
>"YOU MOTHERFUCKERS GET OUT OF MY FUCKING GYM RIGHT NOW!"
>You couldn't help but jump as Anon leapt to his feet, angrier than you had ever seen him
>In fact, you think this was the angriest that you've ever seen ANYPONY
>There were veins bulging from the human's forehead and neck, his eyes were wild and furious and if you didn't know any better you'd say that he was foaming at the mouth
>...
>Yep, he was foaming at the mouth...
>Breathing hard, Anonymous stared at his gym with the kind of look that promised not very nice things
>...
>You'll talk to him in a minute...
>You turned your attention away from him
"Are you girls alright?" you asked as you reached over and helped Applejack to her hooves
>"The trip coulda been a little better but I'm fine," the farmer dryly remarked as she set her hat properly on her head. "Are ya alright over there, Pinkie?"
>The party pony, looking dazed, nodded
>"Yeppers!" she said with a wiggle. "I managed to land on something super, duper soft!"
>From underneath her, Rarity groaned
>"Sweet Celestia above, Pinkie! What in EQUESTRIA do you eat?!"
>"I eat lots of things Rar--"
>"It was a retorical question, dear. Now could you PLEASE get off me?"
Rainbow Dash, who thankfully didn't look any worse for wear, was frantically looking around
>>27718999
>"Fluttershy? Fluttershy? Hey, here the heck is Flutter--"
>You and the other girls jumped as the sound of metal screaming filled the air
>Your heads snapped over toward the Quill and Sofa's store
>There was Anon, shirtless, with a street lamp in his hands
>...
>Where...
>Where were his pants?
>Where did his pants go?
>He was wearing them just a second--
>...Wait ...
>The colt just RIPPED a BUCKING STREET LAMP out of the ground!
>horseapplesabouttogodown.ohnoes
>Twitching in rage, Anon slowly made his way toward his gym with his newly acquired weapon in hand
"Aw horse apples," Applejack muttered under her breath. "Here we go."
>"CARAMEL! MR. CAKE! FUCKING THUNDERLANE! GET YOUR ASSES OUT OF HERE!" Anon roared, swinging the street lamp around
>Rarity, the first one to snap out of her shock, stepped in the giant stallion's path
>"Anonymous, dear, I understand that you are upset--"
>[Angry Human Noises]
>"--But you must approach this with some tact, simply charging--ohmygoodness!"
>Not slowing down at all, Anon continued forward
>Rarity, with a surprised yelp, latched onto one of his legs
>This, of course, did nothing to stop him or even slow him down
>[Apoplectic Human Noises]
>"Anon! Anonymous! Please! I don't want to see you in the newspaper again! Applejack! Twilight! Please help me restrain this stallion before he hurts somepony!"
>Though your common sense told you to stay away from the angry stallion who had just ripped out a bucking street lamp from the ground you leapted forward, your horn glowing
>Applejack, using her silly pony powers, pulled out a lasso, quickly throwing it over his shoulders
>As she did that you cast a spell that would keep Anon's feet glued to the ground
>[Irate Human Noises]
>Your eyes widened as your spell shattered into a million pieces as Anon just kept stomping forward
>>27719008
LaP I will name my children after you if this story ends with Anon beating the SHIT out of those stallions.
>>27719008
>ohshit.scroll
"Anon!" you yelled as Applejack was dragged along. "Anon, I know you're mad but you can't just go on a rampage."
>With a flap of your wings, you took off into the air and flew over to the angry human
>You understood that he was upset but you weren't going to just let him go and hurt a bunch of stallions
>Maybe they deserved it but violence was never the answer!
>You were sure if you just let them cool off for a little bit you could go back into the gym and--
CRASH!
>Both you and Anon stopped as weights went flying through the gym's windows, shattering the glass into a million pieces
>"This is a stallion's world!"
>"Down matriarchy!"
>"BUCK MARES!"
>"MUH INNER BEAUTY!"
>Both you and Anon looked at each other
>Though you didn't think it was possible, he looked ever more angry as he looked at his now broken windows
>"Those cost three hundred bits a window," he said
>You could hear the metal pole in his hand screeching in protest as he squeezed it so hard that his fingers left marks
>...
>Oh buck
>You ALL were going to be in the paper at this rate
>Again
>"Anon! Anon! Can you hear me you bucking housecolt!"
>You turned your attention back toward the gym
>Through the broken windows you could see dozens of stallions staring at you, dumbbells and barbells and plates in their hooves
>"Thunderlane? I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR FUCKING ASS OUT OF MY FUCKING GYM I'M COMING IN YOU CUNT!" Anon barked, shoving you out of the way
>"This is for the good of stallions everywhere, Anon. You'll see that someday."
>"GIVING CHILDREN DRUGS AND FUCKING UP MY GYM ISN'T HELPING ANYONE YOU STUPID FUCK! NOW GET OUT HERE AND TAKE YOUR BEATING LIKE A MAN! ALL OF YOU GET OUT HERE!"
>"I'm afraid we can't do that, Anon. We're making our stand here and there's nothing that you can do about it."
>>27719042
>"Nothing I can do about it? Oh that's where you're wrong twinkle dick," Anon growled, taking a threatening step forward. "There's a lot--"
>"Bring out the hostage!"
>Anon stopped in his tracks and you find yourself falling to the ground as you watch the stallions drag Fluttershy into view
>The mare was red-faced, shaking and bound up tightly in a series of giant rubber bands
>...
>What was Fluttershy doing there?!
>You could have swore you teleported her with the rest of you!
>"Fluttershy?!" Rainbow yelled, her rosy eyes blazing. "You buckers let her go before I go over there and teach you--"
>"Your threats mean nothing to us, you pig!" Caramel snapped, poking his head out of the broken window to stare hatefully at her. "We're not going to be shackled by your oppression any longer!"
>"YEAH!" the stallions yelled
>"We want what is rightfully ours and we want it now!"
>"We want a stallion in charge with some power!"
>"We want better jobs!"
>"Higher wages!"
>"I want mares to stop ogling me whenever I put something cute on!"
>"We deserve to be treated equally!"
>"MUH FREEDOMS!"
>"You let Flutters go right now so I can kick your ass!" Anon snarled, waving his lamp post around
>Thunderlane poked his head out of a window
>"We can't do that, Anonymous," he said. "We need her as leverage so when we talk to somepony important we can get some CHANGES made."
>You could see Fluttershy repeatedly mouthing "oh my goodness" as she looked around at the big, burly, angry stallions all around her
>There was a blush on the mare's face and, if you didn't know any better, you'd say that her wings looked just a little bit sti--
>Wait...
>You literally have a riot on your hooves...
>You should probably do something about it
"Gentlecolts, please! Why don't you come out here so we can ta--"
>>27719056
>"Buck off, Twilight!"
>"Get lost tubby!"
>"We don't want to talk with a chubby princess like you!"
>Hey now...
>You took a few hasty steps backward, your ears pinning themselves against your head from the rather hurtful insults
"Well, if you don't want to talk to be then who do you want to talk to?" you asked
>"We wanna talk to Princess Celestia!"
>"Yeah! We wanna talk to the mare who's oppressed us for so long!"
>"We're gonna make her listen!"
>"She's gonna give us what we want or we're gonna boop this mare senseless. SENSELESS!"
>"Bring us the princess!"
>"Bring us Celestia!"
>"MUH COVETED RIGHTS!"
>"Oh my goodness they're becoming erratic," Rarity said, stepping forward so that she was side-by-side with you
>"What an' the sam 'ell gotten them in such a tizzy?" Applejack grumbled as Anon pulled off her lasso
>"What are we gonna do, Twilight?" Rainbow demanded.
>You bit your lip as you looked around the empty street
>What were you gonna do?
>What were you gonna do?!
>Something like this wasn't suppose to happen!
>You just wanted to help Flutter Butter out by seeing what was wrong!
>Noticing that you were breathing hard, you sat down, closed your eyes and did those breathing exercises that Cadence had taught you to do when you were little
>No...
>Freaking out wasn't going to help
>You needed to be calm
>You needed to come at this with a rational mind
>If you didn't then not only would Fluttershy be in trouble but this whole thing could get REALLY out of hoof
>Anon, who still had a death grip on that lamp post, looked down at you
>Though he looked mess than happy his rage had cooled somewhat
>He might not have been known for his temper but you were guessing even he didn't want something to happen to Fluttershy
>>27719056
aww not flutterbutter
why flutterbutter
>>27719081
oh wait a minute
she seems to be enjoying it
nevermind then
>>27719077
>That mare wouldn't be able to take a single boop, much less the dozens that she'd probably get if you weren't careful
>"What are you gonna do, Twilight?" he asked
>You looked down at the ground, thinking as hard as your thinker could think
>That was when it hit you
>You had an idea!
>Looking up at Anon you found yourself smiling
"I'm going to do what my mother always told me not to do, Anon," you told the giant stallion. "I'm going to tattle."
>>27719117
Is this going to be one of those things where Celestia gets involved, gives stallions actual responsibilities and they all realize its not what they wanted?
>>27719117
Alright, I'm done. More later. And just for the record, in case anyone was wondering what this is, this is a continuation of Get Cutter Get Butter. An Anon was asking that I mark what I post so they'd know what they were reading so I figure I'd do that.
>>27719132What happened with the story you finished on fimfic LAP?Did you get tired of it?
>>27719144
I don't know what's got everyone in such a tizzy about it. I liked how I finished it
>>27719158
>you will never impregnate your waifu
>>27719173
It was a nice ending, the one about Anon and Rarity waking up in the same bed morning after morning. Was a cute, sweet ending. I just think people have an issue with a lack of problem solving, rather than the ending. I think they liked the ending, but would have liked a few more days exploring why they woke up in the same bed before jumping to the ending. Personally would have liked to see some of the shenanigans that Twilight might have pulled to test out various hypothesis.
>>27719211
That's not the story they're talking about, anon.
>>27719229
Then which on? He's got a number of stories.
>>27719206
Pregasi. Hyuk hyuk.
>>27719245
Pregnant pegasus pony does not appreciate your jokes.
>>27713102
My dick is solid from this, MOAR?! also pic related.
>>27719269
>*Groan*
"Awww...."
>Rainbow Dash looks up at you and huffs, resting her chin on the fence. "S'not funny."
>Shifting your grocery bags, you run your fingers through her hair - feeling her gently lean into your petting
"I know, I know. But look, you're mostly done-"
>"I haven't flown in WEEKS, Anon!"
"Mmm. I mean, I've seen you hover and glide-"
>She stomps her back hoof, pouting. "N-no... not since Twilight caught me gliding down the stairs. I'm fully grounded now. Can't even leave the yard 'cept to go to the hospital."
>You sigh, making a mental note to talk to Twilight about her dominance issues
"Well... maybe I can pick you up? My dad did something like that when I was a kid-"
>"Nnnh. Any pressure on this little bastard and I feel like I'm gonna hurl."
"Awwh..."
>"...we're only having A FOAL. ONE. I don't even care - AJ can have her 5 foals for the apple clan-"
>You chuckle, reaching up to rub her ear with your thumb
"Well, I remember reading something about foal heat-"
>"Don't you DARE, Anon. I'm serious-"
"Mmm, you say that now, but having a miniature version of you that thinks you're literally a goddess isn't so bad."
>She smiles. "Yeah... still. Being Grounded sucks."
"Yeah. But I got you that green tea hoofindas ice cream you wanted."
>". . . will you-"
>You smile
"Yes, I'll feed it to you. Let's hit the couch."
>Today was a comfy pregnancy kinda day
>>27719375
Sweet.
>>27719375
My heart
>>27719129
>"What do you MEAN I'm not qualified for this job?! I never had trouble getting work until that PIG Celestia gave us equal rights!"
>"B-but I don't WANNA be a sewage worker! That's so icky!"
>>"What? No, look, here's my paystub. See? We worked the exact same hours and we hold the exact same position."
>"...but that's a new one, right? Stallions only earn 0.77 bits for every bit that mares-"
>>"Nope. It's the pay I've always earned. You DO realize that it's illegal for a company to pay its workers differently based on race and gender, right?"
>"W-well, YEAH, but that.... what?"
>"Sh-she HIT me!"
>>"Caramel, you hit her first."
>"But she HIT me!"
>>"Well, what did you expect is gonna happen when you start a fight?"
>"I LOST the domestic abuse case?!"
>>"That's right. There are recordings of you threatening and beating your wife. It's very clear that you are the abuser here, not her."
>"But... but.... But what about the charges of assault against her?"
>>"Dismissed. She was defending herself after you started hitting her."
>"I can't believe I'm in here for ten years..."
>>"Hey, kiddo, what're you in for?"
>"....abuse. B-but she had it coming!"
>>"Really? How's THAT work?"
>"Haven't you heard of pre-emptive self-defence? I felt threatened so I-"
>>"Hey, you're that Caramel colt! I heard about you - you beat your wife half to death."
>"W-w-well, sh-she was b-being very aggressive t-to me, a-an-and... and I...."
>>"Celestia. You're a real piece of work, you know that?"
I haven’t written green in a long time, and never in this thread, but here’s a little green I put together based on a goofy idea awhile back. Enjoy!
……………
>It’s that same place
>You walk past it every fucking day as you stroll through the south side of the market, a good 250 meters or so to the left of Bon Bon’s ultra-passive-aggressive sweet shop
>It was so out of place in a town like Ponyville, a tiny tavern-like structure that sunk into the ground next to the antique store, almost begging not to be seen
>You are Anon
>And you are curious
>Walking with a very talkative purple horse, you try to make out the sign on the door as you go by
>”A.J.F.F.M.”
>Ok that shit just piques the sense of intrigue, and you know you have to check it out
>You start to walk over-
>”Hey Anon! Where are you going? I thought we were heading back, it’s getting dark.”
>You roll your eyes
>Since arriving, you’ve been crashing with Twilight in her sell-more-toys castle
>And because of that, and your lack of a job, and reversed-gender notions of these crazy tiny horses, she believes she has to-
>Ahem. You do your best in Twilight voice in your head, playing back the memory
>’Support the poor alien colt, who needs a strong mare to be the rock for him to lean on.’
>Ugh
>So needless to say she’s been treating you like a “proper stallion, m’lord”
>You turn to her
“Yeah I was just gonna check this place out Twi, we walk by it almost EVERY day so I just wanna see what it is. Could be like, one of those cool ma-and-pa restaurants that’s really tiny but really good or somethin’.”
>Her eyes widen
>”You want to go in to A.J.F.F.M.?! Anon that is no place for a stallion let alone a-“
>Please don’t bow
>Nope she bowed like a sperg out in public, spaghetti rocketing everywhere now
>”Proper gentlecolt. If you want to go out why don’t we just head to that Mareisian place you like-“
“Nah I’ll just be like a minute, Twi.”
>>27719916
>Her eyes narrow
>”No. I said it’s not safe.”
>You stare each other down
>And you bolt
>She doesn’t manage to catch you as you rip the cumbersome door open and slam it in her face
>You scramble to find a lock, and see a rusted-
>KER-CHLINK
>Oh still works, rad
>Props to you going commando today too, good call
>Free-ballin’ gives you that slight edge of speed
>You can barely hear Twi raging on the other side of the door
>”OPEN UP ANON THIS ISN’T FUNNY! GET OUT HERE RIGHT NOW YOU COLT OR I’LL-“
>Well someone’s teats are twisted
>You turn around an investigate the room
>It looks like a dilapidated reception area, with old-timey furniture and décor straight from the 20s and 30s, but somewhat dirtied and gritty
>You can hear club music in the background
>You kinda like it
>You stroll forward to see a bored-looking blue and pink mare leaning on the front desk
>Her ears perk up when she sees you, and her tail whips up a storm
>D’aw
>”W-well hi there! I’m Checkered Sapphire and welcome to A.F.F.J.M.! Hee! You got the bits mare?”
“Actually I’m a guy. Er- stallion.”
>She looks like somebody just glassed her upside the head
>”O-o-ooooooooooooooooooooh. Ok. Cutie, you aren’t looking for some scumbag marefriend here are you?”
>Her eyes go from piteous to sultry
>”Because I know how tough it can be, seeing that. Maybe you need a tougher, more friendly mare at your side. Maybe walk ya home dear?”
>She struts over to you whilst trying to imitate a human woman, strutting and swaying her hips
>Unfortunately, she is as graceful as a whale being thrown down a hill and her hooves clack obnoxiously loudly on the floor
>CLACK-CLACK-CLACK
>Fuck you have a migraine coming on
>She leans in close to you, stretching up on her tippy-hooves to reach your chest level
>”Or, maybe the prince can come back to my castle?”
>Oh fuck
>Her breath is hot and wet, as she gets right up in your face
>>27719930
>Smells like a mix of liquor, peanut butter, and musk
>”Because that’s how colts like it, right? It’s not bad to just pin one down and-“
>Ok too far
>Ma-anon didn’t raise a horse-fucker
>You gently grab her hooves and set her down onto four legs
“I just wanted to check this place out miss, so I’ll have to turn down your- um…”
>She sways provocatively
>Or clumsily
“Offer. But I do want to come inside-“
>”Me?!”
“What?! No, inside this place.”
>”Oh.”
>She looks crestfallen for a minute, then perks back up
>”Well head on in, it’s on me. And you can be on me too coltie~”
“Uh yeah I’ll just head in.”
>You move past the curtain as she admires your posterior
>And-
>Oh
>Oh
>OH
>That’s why Twi didn’t want you to come here
>This is a-
>”Hey- hey you (hic) you want to saddle up?”
>A drunken mare has approached and-
>Oh yup that is indeed a female- yeesh that’s up close
>You move around the presenting mare and look at your surroundings
>It’s… well….
>This looks a lot like a club
>An unsavory club
>Stallions, dressed in what appear to be bras for their “bits” and a really odd ornamental cover for their-
>Thing
>Were dancing around poles and getting friendly to mares who had a lot of money
>Some you recognized, like Berry Punch, but most of them looked like a mix of just regular townsfolk and sleazy underbelly types
>It was crowded too
>Was this the town’s dirty secret?
>You move around various patrons and workers, some sizing you up and immediately putting together that you must be a fine piece of meat
>”Ey there big fella, want to try out of these bad fillies?”
>A shady-looking mare puts up a teat
>Ew
>But you had to say it
“So I’m a big guy.”
>”Yeah, you are one scrumptious, big colt~”
“4U.”
>You move on
>Can’t let the hotheads keep you down
>Maybe this place wouldn’t be so bad with a drink
>>27719943
>After all, you’ve probably got time before Twi has a nuclear meltdown outside
>You zig and zag towards the bar, taking a seat at an ancient stool that is a tad too small for you
>Still, you can appreciate the scenery
>It’s kinda got a Prohibition-era speakeasy vibe to it, with dim lighting and plenty of early 20th century design mixed with splotches of modernity
>You order a drink from a stallion whom keeps getting harassed by a couple of mares who “accidentally” keep spilling their drinks on him, getting him all moist
>You take a sip
>It ain’t bad
>Weak, but tangy, with a light touch of peanut butter
>Maybe this is what the reception mare drinks
>THUD
>You feel a pound on your back, and turn to see a beaming cobalt mare
>She was clearly a step above the patrons, as she was well dressed, and her indigo and lemon mane was done up tidily
>She took a seat next to you at the bar, eyes filled with-
>Excitement?
>Hard to tell
>”You’re that new colt I heard about, the freaky alien one.”
>Her voice is soothing and rhythmic, though she has to raise it a bit to be heard over the song being played currently, a jazz piece with high zings and crescendos
>”Name is Glisten Sapphire. I’m the owner of A.J.F.F.M.”
“Sapphire? Like the mare at the front desk?”
>”Ha-ha, yeah, she’s my sister, sorry if she got too close for comfort she has a bad habit of being too eager.”
>Glisten leans in, and you feel slightly less comfortable
>”But she’s doing her job if she let you bounce in here, you fine piece of work.”
>She lays a hoof on your shoulder
>Now this is uncomfortable
“Uh, yeah. So, this place is an um-“
>”Entertainment center.”
>She glares for a few seconds
>”Don’t forget that.”
“Right, so what does A.J.F.F.M. stand for?”
>”Should be obvious honey-bunny.”
>She perks her eyebrows and whispers into your ear
>>27719953
>”A Joint For Frustrated Mares. I just thought the acronym was a little nicer for the public.”
>Ok you need some space, she’s practically on top of you now
>You scoot back a bit, and she leans back onto her stool, clearly disappointed but still showing a resolve
>”So, can I ask a favor?”
>You let out a “hm?” while sipping
>”This place hasn’t been doing as well as normal, but I’m looking to get it back on the right track. I think we need a bit more variety in here, a little more spice-“
>You did not like where this was going
>”-so I thought, maybe some new talent will bring in mares and their ‘entourage.’ You know? Fresh sights, smells, the works. And then this alien colt stumbles in, innocuous as can be, and I hatched a little idea-“
“No.”
>”But why not?”
>She mock-pouted at you
“I am not stripping for you.”
>”Oh don’t use that dreadful word! It’s more like… hm… presenting really. And it’s just one night, and if you don’t like it you still get paid.”
>Paid
>Shit
>You did want to make some of your own money
>You’ve been doing odd jobs to save up from moving out of the castle, but progress has been glacial at best
>This may be a way to expedite that
>Fuck damn it
“Pay? How much?”
>Her expression changes, and she lights up like Derpy on a tree
>”200 bits for tonight.”
>That’s generous
>But she’s desperate
>Renegade time
“No less than 400.”
>”B-but that’s double what I usually pay newbies.”
“And humans aren’t exactly lining up to be here. You’ll make plenty back. I’m exotic.”
>She thinks for a minute
>”Fine. You drive a hard bargain you know that? But-“
>She leans in on you again, wrapping her fore-legs around your head
>”You may just perform the CPR this place needs, and have these mares drop a lot of money in tips. Of course, this establishment isn’t the only thing that could go mouth-to-mouth-“
>She starts to lick your ear
>Ugh
>>27719963
>You stand up quickly and she almost tumbles to the floor
“This is gonna be quick. No weird stuff.”
>”That’s fine. Just down to the colt panties is fine. I’ll tell the others to put away the octopus for a different time.”
>EWWWWWWWWW
>Fuck let’s get this over with
>You make your way to the stage as Glisten Sapphire bolts to the sound system’s microphone
>”Mares and gentlecolts! We have a new performer tonight, one who is sure to shock you with exoticism and- ahem- eroticism.”
>Her awkward joke goes mildly applauded
>”He will be doing a classic performance followed by a brief interaction-based period-“
>The fuck did she mean by that?
>You were in the back getting prepped on what’s to happen from a stallion in drag
>Is that-
“Caramel?”
>The stallion’s eyes become medallions
>Yup, gotcha
>”N-n-n-no! I’m Hot Mocha, a performer here! Whatever do you speak of?!”
>Oh, stage-names!
>Right
>Wait, then what’s your-
>”Introducing Monkey Fever! He’s bringing the banana and coconuts today!”
>The crowd goes wild as they immediately piece together who it is
>Being that you are the only human and all
>Fuck life
>Caramel shoves you on-stage, and a few of the friskier female patrons whistle and cheer
>”Get a load of that flank!”
>”Just show your balls already, I’m half-way!”
>”Somebody get some salad dressing!”
>”Bend over! You dropped something behind you!”
>”I want to take that tie you’re wearing and choke you with it till you’re blue in the face, wriggling for life underneath me, all sweaty as I feel up your-“
>Everyone stares at the mare being weird
>Stop being weird weird-O
>Oh it’s that one that presented to you
>Well, good to know she’s the one who likes weird stuff
>Best to steer clear of that
>Or not
>Whatever you like, really
>Glisten speaks once more
>”R-right. Anyway, do your thing Monkey Fever!”
>The maneuvers don’t prove to be hard
>>27719970
>It’s mostly just strutting, dancing, and smiling to a few of the up close patrons
>Bits fly as you go on
>You take off your suit piece by piece as you go, till you’re just down to-
>Oh no
>Your pants
>It hit you what she said earlier
>”Just down to the colt panties is fine.” Remember?
>Problem is-
>You went commando today
>No undies
>Oh shit
>You looks over to see Glisten beaming and waving at you
>She knew
>She had to know
>You continue to go on but the crowd grows restless, and shout for ‘moar’ become more frequent
>Just keep going, just keep going-
>The crowd is in a fever pitch now, demanding the last article be removed
>You plead with your eyes at Glisten
>She smiles
>That bit-
>All of a sudden you can feel a magic tug on you as your pants begin to rip
>Oh fucking shit
>Suddenly several mares get on stage and many more use magic and touch you
>Inappropriately
>You can feel your pants coming off
>You can also feel a tie loop around your neck and pull
>You look out to see the weird mare staring at you lustily, horn glowing
>You’ve got to be kidding me
………….
>Be Twi Horse
>You must defend your husbando’s honor
>You finally found out the weakness to the door
>You can’t magically blast it open, but you can use magic to just unlock it from the outside
>Now you feel kinda silly
>You barge in, galloping past an empty reception desk and go down and see-!
>It’s worse than expected!!!
>Way worse!!!
>Defend the fair colt!!!
>You are Anon again
>You wake up groggily
>Weird mare must’ve choked you out
>You can feel yourself being pulled across the stage by someone, moving you off to the side as Twi seems to be admonishing mares on-stage
>They don’t look all that sorry though
>You dazedly look up to see Glisten hovering over you
>”So…. See you Monday then?”
>She smiles
>You sigh
>It’s a long walk home with Twi
>>27719987
Pastebin: http://pastebin.com/u/ThatGuyM8
Hope it was an enjoyable piece of green, I just enjoy this thread and would try something
>>27720010
*Wanted to try something
Oops
>>27719943
>“Offer. But I do want to come inside-“
>>”Me?!”
>“What?! No, inside this place.”
>>”Oh.”
>Mares always misinterpret Anon's request whenever he uses "come" in a sentence
"You wanna come over tonight?"
>"Oh, you bet I do."
>>27720010
I'm a fan. Good job, ThatGuy. You're a pretty swood guy.
>>27720010
not bad, m8
>>27720207
A dang swood grommet
>>27719117
Wait...
What happened between this update and the pastebin? Was there another post I missed? (Probably)
Last I saw, Twilight had safely run outside the gym and the situation was heated, but not to the point of Anon going Hulk Smash mode.
>>27720010
Well, it's pretty good so far. I'm interested in seeing where this goes.
>>27718724
like the concept
>>27720844
She tried to bring Mane 6 with her in her second try. It ended with REEEEEEE from stallions ('cause other sexist mares tried to be 'cool, strong and/or jokingly flirty') and angry Anon realisation that his pupils are like earth feminists now (implied that due to too much hormonal drugs and lifting). All 7 minus Flutters teleported outside after that
>>27715765
You are a hero.
>>27710479
Better late than never
>Be Cup Cake and you're 87% sure that you're the luckiest mare in Equestria
>Not Twilight with her fancy wings
>No, you with your lovely husband
>Your husband who is currently fast asleep in bed while you spoon him
>It's early morning and you were supposed to get up 10 minutes ago to prepare to open the shop
>But for now you're quite content with nuzzling your husband in bed
>You hear him mumble something in his sleep and see him smiling
>Sweet Celestia how you love that smile
>You're sure you must have been a saint in a previous life to deserve him
>You nuzzle him once more in an attempt to wake him
>He lets out a small snort but remains asleep
>Perhaps today isn't such a bad day for sleeping in
>You're sure Pinkie is more than capable of prepping up the shop
>And the kids, well they inherited their fathers love for beauty sleep
>A third time you nuzzle Carrot to wake him and this time it seems work
"Morning Mr. Cake" you say teasingly as he opens his green eyes
>He loves it when you call him Mr. Cake, reminds him he's all yours
>"Morning" he mumbles while strecthing his back
>His flank pushing up against your crotch andteats
>Oh Celestia this colt is such a tease
>And you love him for it
>He turns around to face you, resting his head on your tuft
>You can't help but to plant a kiss right then and there on his forehead
>Below that lovely orange messy bedmane of his
>He looks up at you with his snout still planted in your tuft
>His damp breath warming your chest
>"Ten more minutes" he pleads at you with puppy eyes
>At this stage you wouldn't be able to say no even if he asked you to jump off a cliff
>This Colt, the things you would do for him
"Of course" You reply and pull him further into your now moist tuft
>He drifts off to sleep again in your hooves and you lie there holding him
>Enjoying every moment of your lazy morning cuddles
>Perhaps you're more like 98% sure that you're the luckiest mare in Equestria
>>27721981
so cozy
>>27721981
>you will never be in a relationship with the same commitment that these two have
>>27722335
love is dead
>>27721981
>>27722224
>>27722335
Glad people liked it, first time writing anything.
>>27715637
Time to take responsibility and marry the moon
>>27722382
What a happy ending.
>>27722341
Why aren't there more Redheart RGRE?
>>27722570
Because life is cruel and unfair.
>>27722570
What do you have in mind?
Smut, slice of life, slice of life with smut, dinosaurs?
>>27722737
Slice of life about an idiot who keeps getting himself hurt and the monotone nurse that takes care of him every time.
>>27722737
All of the above.
>>27722737
Anon, being the biggest and strongest becomes Ponyvilles ambulance. He is tasked with carrying in ponies who have stubbed their hooves, or gotten a paper cut.
>>27722808
>Anon runs around with a backpack and a red bucket on his head, shouting "WEE WOO GET IN THE SACK"
>>27722837
>"You got a paper cut? Too bad, get in the bag!"
>>27722837
"YOU GOT A SCRAPED KNEE?"
>"Snf, yeah."
"THAT SUCKS"
>"Yeah."
"OK, GET IN THE BAG."
>"Aaaaah-ooo there's brownies in here."
>>27722747
>>27722750
>Fourth time this week
>Fourth time this week that the colt sitting infront of is here with a booboo
>Not that you mind, he is quite the thing to look at
>And it does get a tad boring here
>This time he said he was being chased bydinosaursand feel and hurt his front left knee
>Something about a time traveling spell that our oh so wonderful new addition to the royal family managed to buck up
>There was a slight discoloring, but nothing to cry over
>Which this colt had obviously done if the marks around his eyes were anything to go by
>Mom was right, I should studied to become a Doctor after my service in the guard
>Filly nurse, who have ever heard of such nonsense
>Anyhoo, here you are, stuck blowing on crying colts booboos
>Being the laughing stock of your family
>Atleast the colt is good looking
>>27722957
>Fifth time...
>Alright, this colt, there is something wrong with him
>Well there isn't, even though he insist that he is hurt, you can't find thing that suggest he is.
>Sure he's redder than, erhm something red, when you explain him that he isn't hurt
>When you poked him with all your nurse things
>Perhaps he is one of those Marely colts, trying to act all tough
>And therefor gets hurt trying to do marely things
>Not that you mind, atleast he isn't laughing at you for being a filly nurse like most others
>Well, the paper work this colt generates is starting to get on your nerves
>All the A-58 formulas you have to fill!
>Such is a colts job
>Unlike being a nurse, which a marely filly like you can totally be
>>27722964
>Hmph, today was quite boring
>No one had gotten any booboos
>You were hoping that the colt that kept visiting wouldn't break his streak of showing up every day of the week
>Would've been fun if he was here everyday of the week
>I suppose he is out with his other colt friends celebrating that its weekend in some safe enviroment
>While you sit here bored, wishing for the cash cow that is the princess friendship make up some new disaster
>Nope, just you sitting here, with your thoughts
>Thinking about how tomorrow you're gonna have to go to your moms
>Have to listen to how your sister is her joy and pride, just because she is a construction poneh
>pff, you're sure you would be just as good with a hammer as her
>And then she would go on about nurse in a demeaning tone
>Then have your dad defend you, as if you needed your dad to make you feel marely!
>Yeah, you can picture how it will all go down..
>Atleast your shift is almost over and you can go home and be sullen there
>Order some Haynese food
>Yeah, that sounds good
>>27722969
>You're off your shift and about the exit the clinic
>Thats when you spot him. Outside the clinic
>That colt who somehow managed to get hurt everyday
>Well except that one time when he wasn't hurt
>Well, he is someone elses problem today you think to yourself
>You begin to exit the clinic and he suddenly starts waving you over to him
>Uddrrrrrrrrrr
>You walk over to him, ready to explain that you're off now, and that he will have to go inside to get help
>He just smiles at you, and says hi when you get close to him
>Alright, you dind't expect this
>He starts digging around in the dirt with his hoof without purpose while looking into the ground
>"I was wondering if maybe, maybe you would want to go get something to eat"
>Alright, you've just been asked out by a colt
>Are you really such a colt? That a colt has to ask you out?
"Maybe, what did you have in mind?"
>Oh god, you really are becoming coltish
>"I was thinking maybe just some Hayshakes or Hayboxes from that new Haynese restaurant down by town center?"
>Well, that does sound good, and he is kind of cute, and you are hungry
Wrote this hella fast, might do more, depends.
>>27719970
Haha anon becoming a sipper on twis watch
>>27722978
it shows
>>27720010
FUCKING NOICE
>>27720010
Would like to see more of that.
Hey, I don't know if anyone here cares but I'm gonna add another chapter to This is Love. Gonna go ahead and give the people that need their happy endings just like Cadence.There you go, Anons that keep bothering me. You can all go to bed now.
Le prompt
> The main 6 find out each of them like muh lord anon
> Compete for his affection trying to show off in front of him without his knowledge
> Fluttershy does them so poorly like lifting but gets the most attention from anon for being adorable.
> Shenanigans
>>27723312
Done a few times before. You should find one or two if you fish around in Pastebin.
>>27720010
More!
>Celestia is worried about Anon and her sister: every time they meet, they end up sniping at one another, which escalates into arguments, and then physical brawling as they tackle-wrestle, slamming into walls and such.
>Oh, the property damage!
>She tries to mediate, but always ends up ducking and bowing out as a vase gets thrown at her head.
>By whom, she wasn't sure.
>And the Guardsmares? Living clubs. 'Nuff said.
>She invites Cadence and Twilight in as back-up to try to resolve things.
>But Cadence, being the Princess of Love, twigs on a second after they begin beating the crap out of one another.
>They were in love with the other, but would never admit it.
>The fighting is their way of expressing affection, in their own twisted way.
>Thus, the Princesses enact a plan to try to get the pair to open up and calm down, like regular couples.
>Before Canterlot is smashed into rubble.
>>27723657
Their attempts, based around Equestria gender-roles, just cause further trouble.
Anon's from a different culture; Luna's either in the past and has different values or embraces the Equestrian gender roles, which makes things worse.
>>27723657
>they end up sniping at one another
I interpreted this incorrectly.
>>27721981
aw FUCK that was cute. You made me want to make noises.
>>27722335
>>27722341
Anon, I go here to ESCAPE my relentless feelings of worthlessness.
>>27722942
kek
Oh you, Anon.
>"Anon, is it really necessary to yell at our patients to get into your backpack?
"That sounds like the talk of somebody who wants to get in the bag."
>>27723191Thanks.
>>27722957
I imagine Anon gets minor injuries so that he can fawn over the nursepones and have cutegasms. Come on; if you saw waist-high ponies wearing widdle hats and pretending to be doctors, you'd find excuses to go play with them.
>>27723410
They haven't been done recently, so it might be interesting if an Anon does it originally. It's better than nothing in any case.
>>27723838
>"Nurse Redheart, quick! Patient Anonymous needs 20 cc's of patty-cakes, stat!"
>Since time eternal, ponies have been able to determine how virile their male partner is and how strong his offspring will be, by drinking his cum and letting their pony magic tell them what's up.
>Anon, being a non-native of Equestria, has strange cum that needs to be ingested multiple times for a pony's magic to figure out what's up.
>Anon is a-okay with this "free blowjobs" policy his new marefriends seem to have.
>>27723838
I want to fucking write for this prompt so hard but the 14 hour car ride tells me otherwise.
>>27723975
"And who are you?"
>"I'm Redheart! I'm a nurse!"
>You look down at her "nurse" kit.
>It's a child's lunch box filled with bandaids, a roll of sticky gauze, and a plastic & non-functional stethoscope.
"Of course you are, sweetie."
>>27723838
>waist-high
Knee-high.
> Nurse is a higher rank than Doctor
> Doctor Anon struggles with the differing medical procedures
> It's not like he was a pediatrician
> Is usually kinda stern, is getting retrained by the nurses to be a better doctor
> Regularly called on to get things off of high shelves, or to snag wandering pegasus toddlers
> Is torn because while his skills aren't in high demand, it's nice to not have to deal with life and death situations so often
>>27724070
>Anon wears a horsehead mask (which, turns out, looks quite feminine to ponies) and doctors as best he can with limited vision
>"Someone get that mare a cigar and a whore!"
>"Dr. Anonymous, stop this operation, NOW!"
>Just ignore the senpai.
>Senpai...
>And keep going for god sake
>"He is past the point of return, he is doing the procedure"
>"HOW LET THIS BUCKING COLT DO THE OPERATION!?"
>"What are you doing, stop him at once!"
"Sweat"
>Lifting your head to pegasus level, the parts left uncover from your face get clean.
>This little guy will be fine, just a bit more of-
>The tension in your hands is saking.
>He is waking up.
"He is-"
>"On the way doc!"
>Say your anesthetist
>"Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far, far away..."
>"Prepare the peroxide, this side is almost done."
>"The milk is being heated"
>"The covers are ready to be used"
>"We need more de-sweating here!"
"Someone turn the AC system up, we have a long way ahead of us"
>Turning you head on the right side, you don't see anyone.
>Your boss was behind you, with what you asume is the couple of this stallion.
>Maybe the are away and getting their boots ready to fire you once this is done.
>Whatever that they are doing you keep up.
>He has scrapes all over his body, even there...
>Yes you mean there.
>And while you are all up to help.
>The fact that there was blood, make it even more gruesome for the marshmallow technicolor horses.
>I mean, it looks bad, but it not as nearly as bad as the heart
>Seeing guts outside the belly area is pretty bad.
>That a lot of blood in that moment.
>This colt is just a little bit dirty.
>Looking right at him from another perspective.
>You know who is this.
"Don't worry, you big log you."
>You continue applying some soap and water to clean the blood from his fur and wound.
"These scratches are nothing to me, you will be with your family in no time"
>You reasure your friend and helping hand, Mr. Cake.
"Pass me the cotton and the peroxide, it time to close this side"
>"Yes doctor!"
>This was a collective one...
>Hmmm
>You love this fucking job.
>>27724523
This is pretty jumbled and vague. Maybe add more description about what Anon is doing, or what is wrong with the patient.
Anon falls off a ladder and ends up with a compound fracture, how badly is he fucked?
>>27724588
>Anon had lied prior to this, saying that memes are the best medicine
>All of equestria RELENTLESSLY bane posts him
>They think they're helping
>Anon is having too much fun to care of the PAIN in his leg or whatever
>He gets a cast eventually by zecora who wassurprisinglysmart enough to see past his lies
>Ponies think the cast is a result of their memes
>Bane post even harder.
>Countries collapse through the power of memes
>>27724603
hes a big guy
>>27724523
>You are Head Nurse in this institution
>You are Nurse Red Heart, and this bucking colt crossed the line.
>Anonymous the human stallion.
>You would have yelled and get him away from the operation room in no time.
>Even it there was a lot of blood and booboos on that stallion.
>Now you and your team have to wait till this is over now.
>Easy said than done.
>Mrs.Cake got out of control and had to be put to rest a bit.
>"Popcorn and Beer, Head Nurse?"
>You turn you head to look at your team.
>Looks like the mare in charge of the snack car has left the place.
"This is not time for snacks Healing Touch"
>You keep your stern look.
"..."
>"Soooo, you don't want?"
"..."
"Yes, please"
>Looking down to the operation room, this seems to be done.
>Maybe he is not bad at all-
>"Pass me the cotton and the peroxide, it time to close this side"
>This bucking colt is trying to use peroxide to close the wounds!
>How does he know how to use it!?
>The only place you remember somepony teaching you about the use and application of that chemical was in your days in the army.
>If he is really that good then he lets see the side of her sheat.
>This is going to be a procedure to remember
>-Crunch-Crunch-Crunch-Crunch
>-Siiiiiiiiip-
>Yeah, that's the stuff.
>The popcorn is hot and delicious and the beer is cold and refreshing.
>Getting comfy on your chair, you keep watching him go.
>Lets see how big your teats are, stallion.
>>27724619
Does Nurse Heart not know stallions don't have teats?or has she already seen Anon shirtless?
>>27724610
Not the mercenary we deserve, but the one we need...
>>27724018
>a roll of sticky gauze
don't underestimate coban you cockjuggling thundercunt
>>27724523
fucking hell anon
about half this shit is a nurse's job in that situation
t.nurse who trained in surgery
>>27724761
T H I C
>>27722942
I laughed harder than I should have at that.
>>27723657
>Day shit is hitting the fan to hard
>This has gone of for ENTIRELY to long
>Those two have destroyed 6 rooms today and almost fucked up your cake
>No one touched your cake
>This needs to end
>You go to you room and get a bottle
>Getting back to the action, you see they are staring eachother down
"Here anon take this"
>Throwing the bottle to him, he catches it out of the air
>He looks down at it
>Then up at you quizzically
"Pound her ponut to fully assert your dominance"
>Luna looks horrified... or shocked that you knew how she felt
>Funny how close those two faces are
>You start to walk off
>Half way through the door you turn around
"The two of you are going to fuck today, weather you do it willingly, or I have to force you to. I am sun damn sick of you ruining rooms all because you two can just fuck and get it over with. You almost ruined my cake..."
>Luna, who was half taking this as a joke, now is taking this seriously
"... and as I have heard anon say, 'Shit or get off the pot', the two of you have both been sitting on it too long."
>You take a more serious face
"Fucking get it over with"
>You leave
~week later~
>Be celestia
>Be in a shop you have never been in before, ordering something you only learned of its existance 30 minutes ago
>You left twilight to draft the law
~hour later~
>Be celestia still
>Anon kneeling on your right
>Luna prostrating on your left
>Twilight so happy that you are reading verbatim her law
"Ahem, People of canterlot. We have been through some shit in the past, but nothing as... annoying as this. I bring to you today, the Quiet Luna Act"
~2 hours later~"To sum it all up, Luna can not engage in intercoarse passed sundown without a ball gag firmly in her mouth because she refuses to learn to not use the royal canterlot voice"
>>27722942
>be anon
>Your at twiggles place.
>Both your nipples lactated so that means one thing.
>Spike feel down some stairs while twi was cloping in her room too gay porn!
>You rushed over.
"SPIKE WERE ARE YOU!"
>"Uh im in the kitchen what do you want?"
"YOU FEEL DOWN SOME STAIRS IM HERE TO TAKE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL!"
>"But it was 2 stairs and i feel on my rear ill be fine just a bruse!"
"Oh well in that ca- GET IN THE FUCKIN BAG!"
>You swoop him into the bag.
>Twi must have heard the noise because she's coming down the stairs.
>>"What's going on down here?"
"GO BACK TO YOUR GAY PORN TWI!"
>This startles her causeing her to trip on the last step and stub her hoof on the floor.
>you slowly turn around to look at twi with just one nip lactating.
>>"What?... oh OH BUCK!"
>It doesn't take long for the mare to figure out what you were going to do next, her all ready going through this before.
>>"NO NO NO NONONONONOOOOO!"
"C'MERE!"
>With that you swoop twilight in the bag with spike.
>"Ewww, twilight why is your front hoof wet?!"
>>"S-shut up spike"
>Ah a pony and a dragon saved, all in a days work.
>>27724864
This image and the others like it have been bugging the absolute shit out of me. Searching the image turns up nothing substantial and all I'm looking for is some form of context or a name at least
>>27722942
>>27725505
>In the bag
Death is that you?
Anon is death
>This is it. Times up. You had a good run. Time to see what the afterlif-
"Okay buddy get in the bag."
> A-anon? W-what, How? are you dead?
"Im Death and you're dead, I don't have time GET IN THE BAG"
>>27725747
I miss those stories
>>27725505
Fuck off high anon
>>27710433
Hey Anons, might be relevent, might not...
But started a green off another green with some hints of that ol' RGRE flavor with an Anon from poneland if you all want something to read in the morning...>>27687577
>>27726123
I like it. Not sure where the hints of RGRE elements come to play, but it doesn't make it any less well-written than it is. I am greatly enjoying it, man. Keep up the good ass job.
>>27726123
Oh, it's not about ponies.
>>27719562
All that was missing was a bit about the draft.
>>27726638
>"F-fight? Like, with p-pillows and..."
>You gulp nervously, your throat suddenly dry
>"Silly string?"
>>"That's right, colt. Stallions used to be exempt from the draft until y'all fought as hard as you did for equal rights.
>"B-b-but I didn't WANT the bad things like having to go to war!"
>>"Oh, so you just wanted the GOOD things that come with being equal to mares?"
>"Yes!"
>>"Too bad. Life doesn't work that way, sunshine. Now get in your uniform and meet me in the barber shop - we're shaving that pretty little mane of yours down to your scalp."
>>27725697
If I remember right, it was "Maid for your Service", and it was a CYOA. Notable because of the drawfagging and having /ck/anon in as a background character.
Died suddenly, and never came back. I have no idea what the fuck happened.
Does boob sweater meme exist for guys in RGRE?
>>27726882
What the fuck is that. We got enough shitty memes already.
>>27726882
Yes, but only because Anon tried introducing it to mares, but the stallions picked it up instead. They're completely nonfunctional save for being able to show off a colt's chest tuft.
>>27726882
>not sweaters designed to show off a stallion's testicles
>>27726979
Would you wear woollies made by Coco/Rara/Suri/fabulous herd?
>>27726807
this prompt would be hilarious
>stallions get all bitchy about the downside of equal rights
>while anon
>either shout in delight on no longer needing to pussyfoot about and can finally do the shit he wants to do
>or stands in the sidelines barely containing his mirth
>>27726123I've already been reading that.
>>27727008
Why not both? Getting shit done while laughing at the bitch stallions.
Why are stallions so demonized so much in this thread?It's almost as if you had something against women, Anon.
>>27727078
We love women here, Anon. We just love women who act as if they are men more here.
>>27727078
Are you a woman?
>>27727078
Can't tell if bait.
or just dumb.
>>27727130
Most baiters aren't all that clever to begin with, Anon. It could be both.
>>27726807
>War comes to ponyville
>Stallions and mares are drafted
>Whiny stallions complain this isn't what they meant by equality, only wanting to be equal on the bits that are good for them
>Anon chuckles at cute ponies being silly
>Battle begins near the town
>War is hell
>Anon smacks the shit out of both sides with his broom for damaging his garden
>Worst rout in military history, this level of brutality is unheard of
>Bruises errywhere, some ponies are even bleeding from scraped knees
>Anon is accused of warcrimes
>His response:
"Stay outta my fuckin' yard! Look at what you little vermin did to my tomato patch!"
>[DIPLOMAT SCRUNCHING INTENSIFIES]
>This was the last time war touched Ponyville
>Nopony will risk the horrors of the aliens superweapons being unleashed on them once more
>>27726826
I believe the quest writer simply lacked the will to go on.
He also pretty much dropped off the face of the earth, no one has seen him for a very long time, and no art work either.
>>27727442
>"ah can still see it doc, anon running at me with... with-."
"What was it big mac? you have to tell us if you wa-."
>"A SPRAY BOTTLE!"
"Oh goodness."
>"i chould see em everywhere enemy's friendlys all of em hit with water. We tried everything to stop him silly string, pillows, heck at one point he was hit with a tactical blanket strike.
"D-did it work?"
>"Ya for a second. Just long nuf for em to reload."
>You are redheart.
>And this colt needs med's
>>27725490
Oh this tickles all my fetishes.
>>27727870
>>"What was it big mac? you have to tell us if you wa-."
I don't know; what IS an "it big mac"?
page 8? Not gr8
>>27727898
But there is nothing wrong with that sentence. Are you suggesting there should be a comma after the word it? You would be incorrect if you are.
>>27728260
Actually, you're wrong.
As it was a question posited to Big Mac, there should be a comma there; there should also be one if Mac were being addressed.
>"You sure you want that next beer, Alex?"
>"Alex, you sure you want that next beer?"
>Be horse in horsequestria
>A horse comes up to you
>"Neigh."
>How forward!
"Neigh?"
>"Neigh neigh."
>You stab her with your long razor sharp talons
>Her intestines fall out
>"Neigh?"
>You pull the horse mask off
"SKRAW!"
>>27728532
It's time to stop posting.
>>27728542
>>27728532
It's never time for Durnk to stop posting, never.
>>27728532
So... wait.
Tell me about this character, why does he wear the mask?
>>27728584
Because he is secretly Tex and Rarity would have a fit if she found out Anon was hunting without her.
>>27728584
Is he a big guy?
>>27728584
>>27728594
She's a clever girl.
>>27714734
>"L-lord Anonymous, wouldst thou doeth Us a favour and...."
>Luna jams her hoof across your face and narrowly avoids smacking you on the nose.
>"Looketh over there!"
>Being the chump that you are, you instinctively react by looking where she was pointing.
>While you're looking away, you feel Luna start punching your thigh.
>"Damnations!" she mutters as she continues to abuse your leg, "How dost one expect to make use of thine 'pockets' if thou insisteth on making such pouches too small for Our royal hooves?"
>The fuck is she doing to your pyjamas?
"What are you doing, Luna?"
>You turn to face her, but Luna quickly frees her hooves from your pants and pushes your shoulder.
>"Nay! Look away, cretin! 'Tis mare's business and is not fit for thine delicate demeanor!"
>No, really, what is she doing?
"Do you want some help or so-"
>"How generous!" her voice is somewhat hysterical at this point, as though failing to jam her hooves into your pockets is causing her great stress.
>"Such refinement! 'Tis the sign of a... of a.... oh, shoot!"
>Her hooves fumble with your hands for a few confusing seconds before something crumpled and rough is thrust in between your ring and middle finger.
>"T-take this! Just..... just pretend that thou hast found this in thine pockets, prithy?"
>With a clattering of hooves, your reading buddy is gone.
>You take a look at the note that Luna left for you, feeling equal parts curious and nervous.
>What on Earth got her so worked up?
>The parchment is thick and well made - not like the shit that Twilight uses.
>It's emblazoned with Luna's cutie mark, stylized with black ink-splotches in all four corners of the paper.
>>27728666
>"Dearest Lord Anonymous," it reads.
>"Thou art to Us a rose in the midst of a dying wasteland. Wouldst thou desire for it, We would give thee the Moon itself for thine own pleasure. Art thou wearing pantaloons made to withstand the vacuum of space? I ask this, for thine flank is beyond the the boundaries of this world."
>"Hugs and Kisses, thine Secret Admirer"
>"X O X O"
>Who could have written you such a note?
>How mysterious.
>>27728590
>>27728594
>>27728648
So if somepony where to take off the mask, would he die?
>>27728682
Yessssssss
>>27728682
kek
holy shit the spaghetti
On a scale from Yes to Very Yes, how much do you want to die?
I need information on which thread do people want to die the most.
>>27729079
>dying
>in a thread with unfinished green
Do you even use the board?
>>27729127
But it Luna romance green.
>>27723191
If we keep whining do we get infinite chapters?
>>27729079
Do i get to go to Equestria if i die?
>>27729185
Only if you go to infinite beds.
>>27728682
Very cute.
>>27725505
It's okay, not enough length.
>>27725490
Ballgags for everyone!
>>27724619
>>27724523
>>27724266
>>27724070
>>27724018
>>27722978
Medical pons need more green, stat!
>>27721981
I want to cuddle Mr Cake too.
>>27719987
Write more things, I liked this.
>>27719117
Anon needs to smack a whole lot of bitches.
>>27715637
Celestia doesn't like being left out.
>>27715165
Anon has the comfiest furnature in all of Equestria, thanks to superior alien technology
>>27713803
More when?
>>27712175
Just wait until she sees him in winter.
>>27711714
This is too cute for me to read most of the time.
I can only handle this much on some days.
>>27729079
I've got far too much shit to get done to waste time dying, Anon.
Anon sleepwalks and sleep snuggles.
He frequently wakes up in mares' beds, including the Princesses, snuggling them with a death-grip.
He sleeps so deeply that nothing they've found --loud noises, smacking him-- will wake him.
They ineffectually flail their legs, failing to get free.
All are too ashamed to tell other ponies that a stallion is snuggle-struggling them, so it remains a secret.
And they're afraid of being accused of rape.
Anon is just confused why he wakes up cuddling ponies, in not his own bed.
>>27729079
I don't know. I'm not about to go and kill myself, but I probably wouldn't put up too much of a fight if somebody put a gun to my head.
>>27729426
>This goes on for several weeks before Anon meets a pony whose fetish is "reverse struggle-snuggle".You get it? It's like "reverse rape" and a lot of people still think men can't get raped, so in RGRE it would be "reverse struggle-snuggle" if a colt does it to a mare. Ehh? Ehh?
"Hey Twi, do you have any globes?"
>"Globes? What kind?"
"Like, the world? One of those little plastic balls that spins 'round-"
>"Anon! Have you been listening to Sunburst's conspiracy theories again? The Earth is a flat disc!"
"Would you call it a... Disc-world?"
>"I suppose..."
*snrk*
>"What?"
"Nothing!"
In an effort to help out with the lack of Nurse Redheart green I made this.
>You slip your saddlebags off your shoulders.
>It plops unceremoniously onto the cold tile floor of the room.
>A twist of the key and you now have access to your-
>Aaaaand there's a jockstrap in your locker.
>You scrunch your muzzle, which is immediately followed by light snickering.
>But not from you, at the other end of the room, two other nurses are pretending to go about their usual routine and certainly not peeking at you over their shoulder or through the mirror in their locker.
>You roll your eyes and take the strap out of your locker.
"Ha ha guys, really funny" you remark sarcastically.
>The two colts at the other end turn around with coy smiles on their faces.
>Their eyes lock to the underwear in your hoof.
>One of them clasps a hoof to his mouth, you can just barely see some of his toothy grin behind it, "Oh my Redheart, finally decided to wear the uniform proper? I'm so happy for you! But... I don't think that's really the right color for you. Don't you think so Tender Hoof?"
>The other colt strokes his chin, "Hmmm, yeah I think you're right Sweet Pea.”
>Trying once again to be nice, you decide to play along a little.
"I think it doesn't matter what color it is, I'm wearing it over my scrubs anyway."
>At this the two colts have a giggle fit, "Oh how out of your element you are Red Heart..." Sweet Pea responds.
>You watch them head out.
>If it weren't for the contrasting colors you might not have noticed it, but you can just barely make out their straps hanging just above the hem of their scrub bottoms.
>You blow air out of your nose and toss the strap into a corner.
>Just another typical start to your nursing shift.
>Only ten more hours to go...
>You toss your stuff into your locker and make yet another mental reminder to buy your own lock, those two wouldn't keep messing around in there if you didn't use Ponyville General's locks.
>>27730448
>You step out and take a deep inhale of that fresh sanitized smell.
>Not because you like it, but because you want to be able to un-smell it as quickly as possible.
>You stroll up to the nurse's station in the ER and are warmly greeted by the head nurse.
>"Coffee maker's busted again" Head Nurse Bedside grumbles in your direction.
>As warm as he usually greets anyway.
"Yeah, I'll check it out in a second. Any updates?"
>He lower his head and pulls up three folders to lay on the counter.
>You spread them out and glance over the quick notes.
>Thankfully there's not many changes between them, just a general monitoring and drugs as the doctor prescribed.
>You hear the sound of another folder drop.
>Looking over, you confirm that there are now four folders on the table.
"New patient?"
>Bedside nods, "Cart accident, Hip got the little colt stable and I was keeping eyes on him through the night."
>You nod and slide the folder on top of the others.
"Pawning your work off on the underling huh?" you goad Bed, but to no avail.
>His face remains firm, that is until he blinks himself "active" suddenly, "S-sorry I-" he yawns, "I zoned out for a second there, I really need that coffee."
>You clear your throat and slip the files into your carrying satchel.
“It’s nothing, I was just uh... I'll go check on that coffee maker now."
>Bedside gives you an appreciative smile and waves you goodbye.
>You like him, he was pretty accepting of you right from the start.
>Though you do wish he would do more when you leverage your complaints.
>"You're made of tougher stuff than that aren't you Red?" or "They're just being doggy, boys will be boys you know."
>Sure they're probably the worst offenders, and they're not so bad, but still...
>You round the corner to the service area, inside are some nurses huddled near the couch and a pair of doctors hovering over some paperwork on the table.
>The colts stop their chatter and glance your way, "Red!" one of the nurses calls out to you.
>>27730460
>You turn to acknowledge him.
>"Miss Tulips was moved out of the ER yesterday, after your shift ended, she wanted me to thank you."
>You smile as the familiar internal pride burns in your chest.
>They return to their talk and you continue into the room.
>The mares at the table glance your way and nod in acknowledgement before returning to their discussion.
>You could swear you heard them mumble something about "how hard it must be to check somepony's temperature every couple of hours" but you decide to brush it off.
>You know you provide far more than that to the patient, and having Miss Tulips' second hoof thank you is proof of that alone.
>Content still, you pull the coffee maker out from the wall some and take a look in the back.
>Sometimes it gets unplugged and nopony bothers to check there first.
>It's an old coffee maker and stained to Tartarus and back but everything seems fine back here.
>You push it back where it was and take a look at the cup.
>Half moistened grinds are piled in to the brim.
>You huff and dump out the grinds and filter into the trash.
>It takes you a minute to unscrew the nozzle out of the top of the coffee maker, but it only takes one second to rinse the damned thing out and thus “fix” the coffeemaker.
>It’s always one of two things.
>The plug or the nozzle.
>But the other nurses find it 'too icky', and the doctors have ‘more important things to do’ so that leaves it to you to deal with it.
>You pour in a reasonable amount of coffee and run it.
>The machine hisses as hot water pours into the cup and begins slowly working it’s way down through the filter.
>Once the first drop hits the glass container you turn and leave to check up on your first patient.
>As you walk past the nurse’s station Bedside gives you a hopeful look.
>You smile and nod in his direction.
>He clasps his hooves to together at you with an appreciative smile on his face before trotting off in the direction of the service area.
>>27730476
>You continue on into the room of-
“Mister Cook!”
>The old stallion turns his attention to you, turning away from the window outside.
”How are you feeling?”
>The stallion smiles, “Much better now that you’re here Doctor.”
>Your smile twists a little, as the awkwardness begins to overtake you.
“Ahh, Nurse. It’s Nurse Redheart, remember? We talked about it yesterday?”
>The old colt gives you a blank look.
>”That other doctor that was here earlier, I don’t like her very much. All cold and such, I much prefer you Doctor Redheart.”
>You cringe internally, poor old guy.
>Externally you clear your throat to resettle yourself.
“Well, that’s very sweet of you to say mister Cook. So, is the leg feeling better?”
>He looks down to his bandaged up rearleg for a moment before looking back up at you, “Hurts a little, but it feels better than before.”
>You smile a little, his chart says he’s getting better.
“Well, lemme check your chart and see if we can’t do anything about that little bit of hurting huh?”
>You glance over it briefly.
>Last time painkillers were given was…
>You look over for any new symptoms but everything seems like it’s on the steady path up.
“Okay, I think you’re looking good-“
>Mister Cook giggles and you can even see a faint blush shine through the greying fur of his coat, “Oh! I could say the same of you Doctor Redheart.”
>You chuckle.
“Well uh, I’m going to go and get the painkiller, I’ll be right back okay?”
>The station hums agreeably and returns to looking out the window.
>You note down the time and amount of drug that you’re taking from storage on the clipboard and return to mister Cook quickly.
>You then note the time and amount given before injecting it into his i.v. for a less disruptive administration.
>A warmth meets your arm as you are slowly pushing down on the plunger.
>You make a quick glance over to see mister Cook looking warmly at you.
>>27730504
“Anything wrong Mister Cook?” you ask while returning your sights to the needle in your hoof.
>”Oh no dear, just admiring a young mare like you working is all.”
>You blush as you are finishing up.
>”You know, handsome young doctor like you could probably swoop up any of the nurses here.”
>You find yourself coughing out of sheer surprise.
>”If you want I’ll even put in a nice word with the cute nurse that was with me this morning. Do you know him? The one with the freckles?”
“M-mister Cook, th-that’s really not necessary. I appreciate the sentiment though.”
>”Is it because he’s too old? The boy does seem like he’s pushing into his twenties doesn’t he? But he’s such a sweetheart.”
>WOW! You are VERY old mister Cook.
“OH!-Kay, Mister Cook, how’s about, uh, why don’t I read you the paper huh? I bet there’s some great articles in here…”
>Anything to get his slipping mind off of this.
>The old stallion nods happily and settles in while you pull up a seat and the paper.
>You read a few articles and even have a short discussion on what kinds of stories were in papers back in his day.
>Short because the drug had finally kicked in and he was slipping in and out of the waking world.
>You step out quietly and breathe a small sigh, hopefully he’s forgotten all about that talk come later on like he’s forgotten that fact that you are a nurse.
>Happens more often than you’d think.
>Well, not the forgetting part you suppose, more that you get confused for a doctor.
>Usually only happens upon first introductions, they see a mare in scrubs, doctor.
>You never blame them for the confusion.
>There are so few female nurses.
>Probably fewer male doctors even.
>Drawing yourself out of your thoughts for a moment, you check the chart in your hoof with the number on the door.
>406, yup this is it.
>You slowly open the door to the colt’s room.
>>27730512
>At the edge of the bed a mare and stallion couple, you assume to be his parents, stand and look over at you expectantly.
>”Afternoon, Doctor…?” the mare dresses you.
“Nurse actually, Nurse Redheart.”
>Just like you were thinking earlier.
>And here it comes.
>The slight widening of their eyes.
>A quick look between each other for confirmation.
>The stallion looks somewhat insulted, probably thinking “A GUY nurse?!”
>The mare looks at you with complete bewilderment, most likely thinking “Guys can be nurses?!”
>Then they both quickly realize that you are still in the room and looking at you funny so they immediately put on a “this is fine, nothing is weird” weird face.
“So, how’s Featherweight doing?” you ask, having taken a moment before entering to memorize the patient’s name.
>The stallion immediately snaps back into “worried father mode” and returns to his child’s side, “The doctor mare- uh, the doctor said that he’s stable but…”
>You hum in acknowledgement and cross over to the bed.
>The dad instinctively puts up a defensive reaction and places his arm over the body of his son.
>You calmly and cooly slip on your stethoscope as the father realizes he’s just done that and awkwardly returns to where he was.
“Well the charts say that he’s recovering, and very well too, so why don’t I do a little check and make sure that everything’s going okay.”
>You remove the stethoscope off your hoof and place the slightly warmed metal on the colt’s chest.
>He moves slightly which causes the father’s eyes to twitch, but otherwise remains passive.
>Breathing sounds good despite the broken ribs.
>You check his pulse and a few other vitals.
“Yeah, he seems to be well on his way, you’ve got a strong boy here.”
>The father doesn’t seem to like your assessment too much, but the mother seems to be a little more at ease, she breathes a sigh, “Thank you doc- uh, nurse.”
>You nod.
>>27730520
“If you need anything just hit that button on the wall there okay?”
>The father raises a hoof to get your attention, “Will the uh, doctor be in later to check on my son as well?”
>Ouch, but not unexpected.
>You keep your composure as you respond.
“Yes, I believe Doctor Oath is still on for the next few hours, I’ll be sure to remind her to pop in.”
>The mother rolls her eyes behind the father’s back, “Thank you Nurse Redheart.”
>This does make you feel a little better.
>You turn to leave and catch them begin to huddle behind your back.
>”-eally? Right in front of the guy?”
>”-'s our son. I’m not about to-“
“Oh, uh before I leave-“
>You turn back around to face the flustered couple.
“Does he heave a favorite meal? I can put in a request with the staff downstairs and see if we can’t get him something to make this whole thing a little easier.”
>The father stables on his words for a second, “Uh- buh- uh, hayfries, he really likes hayfries.”
>You give him a warm smile.
“We may not be Five Gal’s good, but our hayfries aren’t bad. I’ll leave an open order for them downstairs, you can pick 'em up fresh whenever you want okay?”
>The teary eyes stallion looks up from his son and smiles at you, “Okay. Thank you” he says nodding slightly.
>You shut the door behind you and head down to the cafeteria straight away.
>If you don’t do it now, you’re totally going to forget.
>But hey, you are a mare after all, can’t be helped.
And that's all I have for now
>>27730527
I like it. It's a good down-to-earth RGRE world, and well written to boot. I'm impressed.
>>27730520
>The stallion looks somewhat insulted, probably thinking “A GUY nurse?!”
>The mare looks at you with complete bewilderment, most likely thinking “Guys can be nurses?!”
We r63 now?
>>27730628
Probably wrote it in normal roles so he can change the genders later
>>27730527
decent, though you left in GUY a fair few times.
>>27730527
Pretty sure some anon is a nurse... and likely one who is trying to do a good job and pissed at all the peers around him who have given up on doING the same.
>Damn filthy zebra mares, taking our colts...
>>27730628
>>27730649
How embarrassing! I was trying to hurry up the last bit before leaving work and must've let those slip. Even forgot my damn name when posting.
>>27730661
Nah... well sort of. I think the feeling you're describing isn't specific to nursing though. It certainly wasn't the motivator for this, just musings about what it might be like for a mare nurse in RGRE.
>>27730585
Thanks Anon, I'm glad you liked it. I think I went a little too hard on the paint on this, I would've preferred more subtlety, but I didn't exactly have the time to make it exactly the way I wanted.
>>27730448
Wow, those stallions are cunts.
>>”Is it because he’s too old? The boy does seem like he’s pushing into his twenties doesn’t he? But he’s such a sweetheart.”
>>WOW! You are VERY old mister Cook.
We "horses live 20-25 years" now? Because I'm down for that.
>>27730707
lol
>>27730862
>"Look out, Mister Anonymous!"
>A tiny purple filly runs past you, nearly tripping you up.
>Twilight runs behind her and skids to a stop beside you.
>"Ugh! I'm sorry about Dinky, Anon. She's usually so much more well behaved than this."
>She sighs and nudges you in the knee with her hip.
>"Fillies will be fillies, I guess."
>You kneel down and pat Twilight on the head, much to her delight.
"Nah, it's fine. I remember when I was young."
>This is, of course, a joke; you're actually still young.
>Do you get it?
>Yeah, you get it.
>Twilight doesn't get it, though.
>"No kidding? How old are you?"
>You count on your fingers for a moment to recall; these fucking pony calendars are bullshit. Jovember? 17 months in a year? Bullshit.
"I'm 25."
>Twilight's head whips around so that she's facing you.
>"No!"
>You chuckle in appreciation.
"I know, right? I get that reaction a lot - I look a lot younger than I actually am. Everyone in my family's like that."
>You stand back up, making exaggerated groaning noises as your knees pop.
"Well! I'm going to go do a bunch of old-man stuff, like taking a nap or something. I'll see you around, Twi!"
>Twilight doesn't even bother waving back.
>"Y-yeah, sure thing..."
>You are Twilight.
>What the buck.
>What the actual buck!
>Have you been perving on an old stallion this whole time?!
>Celestia, he's even older than your grandfather was when he passed away!
>You thought that he'd be five years old - six, tops.
>Dangit, NOW what do you do?
>Should you put him in an old folk's home?
>Do you make sure he gets enough fibre in his diet so that he's regular?
>D-do you have to help him... help him... b-bathe his old stallion body?
>Oh, EW.
>You REALLy hope this doesn't change anything.
>>27730922
>Anon continues to tease Twilight by acting like an old man
>Twilight legitimately believes that he's elderly and reacts accordingly
>>27730922
so is the year still 365.25 days with 21-22 day months, or is he 17-18 pony years old?
>>27731009
The first one. Ponies are just weird when it comes to recording time. There are also 30 seconds in a minute, and 120 minutes to the hour. Every third wednesday of the month at 7pm, Celestia recedes the sun until it's sunrise again. On a randomly-chosen Tuesday on each month, Celestia whips the sun all the way from sunrise to sunset.
>>27731034
>>27730922
huh
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KThlYHfIVa8
>>27730862
Well I was thinking more along the lines of "He's from a time where late twenty year old single stallions are basically unmarriable" but you do you Anon
>>27731100
I like my version better, Frosty, I'm not going to lie.
Saw some requests for this a little while back. I thought I'd try my hand at it.
>The evening sun hovers a hoof-length over the horizon, bathing the cumulus in your collective attentions in a bright shade of mandarin.
>The lavender librarian at your side, clearly flustered from her third attempt, bellows again, this time not bothering to hide her waning patience.
>”I KNOW you’re up there Dash! If you’re going to try and hide the least you could do is ACTUALLY try!” Twillight belts at the cloud above you, the unmissable prismatic tail hanging over its edge tensing briefly before falling limp in defeat.
>The frown the grumpy Pegasus shoots you as she finally descends from her perch in the sky confirms that she hears your soft, derisive chuckling at her failed attempt to hide.
>”I don’t even know why you want me to come to this-… whatever it is.” Dash comments dryly, her throat slightly hoarse from the late nap she was surely just enjoying.
>From what you’d seen outside your boutique this afternoon it was unlikely she’d had the chance to nod off earlier.
>As fast as the speedster was, not even she could afford to take a break during a major season change.
>Shifting summer to autumn meant cloud setting, leaf changing, wind altering, and a myriad of other things you were probably forgetting.
>All day, non-stop work, a concept you doubted was anything less than HIDEOUS to Rainbow Dash.
>You were almost positive that a feature which contributed heavily to her rise in air speed as she matured into marehood was the pure, stubborn desire to blow through season changing shifts as fast as possible.
>Naturally, her superiors began signing her on to workloads that were better suited to the skillset and ego of, in her own words, ‘The Fastest Pony Alive’.
>At the end of the day all that work didn’t leave much room for the afternoon naps she’d become accustomed to on her regular shifts, and it showed in her scruffy fur and un-brushed mane.
>>27731205
>”Where’s AJ, Pinkie and Fluttershy, anyway? Do we have to go and pick them up, too?” laments the worn pegasus as she flutters in and falls in line at Twilight’s right.
>”No, they couldn’t make it. AJ mentioned something about ‘Apple Mites’, Pinkie has to do overtime for a big order, and Fluttershy needs to look after a pregnant Platypus.“ Twilight responds, her brow furrowing slightly in disappointment.
>There’s a pause where Dash’s expression smooths, her eyes wondering up and away briefly before she settles into another frown.
“… they’re the beavers with the fin-claws and duck beaks, darling?” You offer in a sickeningly sweet tone, as if you were speaking to a foal.
>Your purple companion snorts at this while Dash’s face burns indignantly, her coat ruffling in a satisfying fashion.
>”Umm, thanks, but I KNOW what a Play-doh-puss is, Rarity.” The rainbow mare retorts, her pronunciation winning her a round of mocking laughter, much to her chagrin.
>”I’ve—hah, hahah! I’ve never heard of a species like that before! Is that categorized under ‘mythic beasts’, or ‘foal’s toy’?” Twilight manages through a grin as you muffle your chuckles in your hoof.
>”Yeah-OKAY, whatever!” she retorts, folding her forehooves in annoyance, “Shouldn’t we be talking about this whats-his-face or whoever, anyway? Isn’t that why we’re here?” she continues, clearly eager to change the subject.
>On a different occasion you might have poked her a little more, but the subject she had just brought up was of far more intrigue than some minor teasing.
>You were more than willing to donate some of your free time to help out a friend of course, but in truth you’d been anticipating having an excuse like this to meet.
>All you had to go on were rumors of rumors up till now, but you hadn’t made the plunge and actually tried to visit i—ahh, him, visit HIM, yourself.
>Twilight had been quite clear on that.
>>27731222
>Not a monster, not a beast, but of the fairer sex.
>And intelligent.
>And kind.
>And harmless.
>Especially ‘harmless’.
>Her insistence on that assertion had only made you all the more thoughtful about this little date.
>Country ponies could be a little… conservative, when it came to new things, but Twilight’s quick desire to paint the strange newcomer in a positive light before anyone had even met him was a little strange, especially when she seemingly preferred to keep her nose out of town hullabaloo when possible.
>’Have you heard about my friend Rainbow Dash? She’s very nice, and isn’t AT ALL violent. She’s not a Pegasus, but, well, she kinda’ looks like a Pegasus? Still though, she’s definitely nothing to be afraid of, honest!’
>Her positive and specific enthusiasm was a little suspicious, to say the least.
>That wasn’t even mentioning that he’d apparently arrived in the middle of the night under cover of darkness, (or so everpony had assumed, since apparently he was confirmed as being ‘here’, even if nopony had seen him come) or the fact that his house was apparently at the very edge of town.
>There was nothing wrong with living at the town limits of course; it had many perks that you yearned for on occasion.
>That is, most of them centered around privacy and seclusion.
>In other words, keeping hidden.
>On top of the distant location, you were also quite sure that he hadn’t come out of his house at all since he’d arrived.
>After all, if everything Twilight had said was true, he was quite unique, and if he had left his home and strolled into the square you’d have heard about it by now.
>Normal minotaurs couldn’t even escape the watchful eyes of the chatty townfolk, so you were sure he wouldn’t have gone unnoticed.
>”Oh, uhh, yes, I suppose. Sorry, I forgot you haven’t met him yet.” Twilight replies, smiling sheepishly at the floating Pegasus on her right.
>>27729079
Definitely, i see no purpose in life, and no reason to go on.
>>27731233
>Twilight wouldn’t lie about somepony being dangerous or unlikable, of course.
>It wasn’t in her character.
>All of this was simply small town paranoia.
>Sometimes it was easy to forget that the most interesting thing an average pony could do to pass the time between festivals way out here was to play rumor mill.
>After a few exchanged pleasantries over the camomile tea and lemon cakes stashed away in your saddlebags you could offhoofedly let the cat out of the bag to chirpy little Roseluck on the affair, and all these silly notions of danger would blow over.
>“I told him I would bring some friends over to help him get used to his new home. He’s been having a little trouble, uh… adjusting, to his new living arrangements. He hasn’t really come around to see the town yet, so I think he might be a little afraid of how they’ll react since he, well… didn’t receive the warmest welcome when he popped up in Canterlot.” She explains to the both of you, shaking her head glumly.
>”After all that, I thought it was only right bringing a little of the town to him, instead. You know, take the first step, show him that he’s welcome here.”
>Ah, now if that doesn’t tug at your chivalrous heart.
>A sweet young male in a new place, fearful and lonely, treated maliciously by lesser mares and hiding away in his home?
>Guilt rumbles in the pit of your stomach at having scrutinized his arrival so intently without even going to see him.
>Even Dash, as crass and insensitive as she can be, looked a little regretful.
>If you had known the situation you would have come over sooner.
>You would have treated him like any stallion deserved to be treated.
>It was a tad late for that now, but it wasn’t too late to make it up to him.
>The three of you trot along with new vigor, covering much of the quieting town in a matter of minutes.
>The sun is nearly two thirds of the way under the horizon now, and the breeze has become moist and cool.
>>27731246
>It’s at about this time that a previously overpowered, bittersweet smell touches your nose.
>It took you a moment to place the scent since you rarely partook, but you had enough experience to know it by now.
>Twilight hadn’t mentioned what she was carrying, but now you were certain you knew, even if you weren’t sure why.
“Ahh, so… the cider is for… ?” you begin, bobbing a hoof the direction of the lavender pony’s pack as you trail off.
>Twilight blinks, staring blankly at you for a moment before she catches on.
>”Cide-… ? Oh! Oh, yes, well, he’s from very, very far away, but I guess some things are universal, haha.” She chuckles softly, shifting her saddlebags into a more comfortable position.
>“He mentioned in passing that he used to drink quite regularly with his friends back home, and I thought this might help us all loosen up a little. I guess it might not have been the best plan, but seeing as Celestia sent something anyways, I thought that I’d h-h-hey! Git-gitoutta’ there! No, NO.”
>You both turn as Twilight breaks away from her explanation to jostle her pack and then swat at Dash’s nose with her tail.
>The cyan speedster, who’d just been pawing and sniffing at the jar on Twilight’s right, avoids the attack by miles, grinning widely as she ascends away from Twilight’s Ire.
>”Hwoah! It really IS cider! Aw jeez, why didn’t you tell me there was gonna’ be booze? I woulda’ flown you two dough-flanks here on my back!” she remarks energetically, flying a single tight lap around the both of your heads, her low mood from earlier having clearly improved.
>Twilight huffs at the quick barb, clearly taking the most offense between the two of you.
>>27731255
>”That’s because I know how you get! You would’ve gotten impatient and started early, and I wanted you to be sober for your first impression.” Twilight replies, turning her head forward after she’d ensured the safety of her cargo, “Besides, that isn’t for you.”
>”W-what!? But you said ‘us’! Why can’t I have any?” Dash groans, halting the librarian’s advance by fluttering in front of her.
>”That isn’t what I meant, Dash. There’s more than enough for all of us.” Twilight replies, circling around the pegasus to continue on her way.
>That was comforting.
>Truth be told you were a little more comfortable with grapes then apples, but after eleven finished commissions from your backlog you certainly wouldn’t object to a little R&R and, even if you were still in the dark about specifics, a little male company.
>”I meant ‘that’ isn’t for you, it’s for Anonymous. I have some normal cider right here.” Twilight amends, craning her head to the jug on your side of her body and opposite the one Dash had tried to nose her way into.
>”The other stuff is special. You wouldn’t even like it.”
“ ’Normal cider’? What’s abnormal about the other one?” you ask, confused at her meaning.
>”What? Is it, like… Corn Husk’s or something? Cause I drink that all the time.” Dash remarks, causing Twilight to fly into a moment of superior laughter.
>”Haw! Corn Husk’s!? Certainly not!” she scoffs, turning her nose up at the very idea.
>You knew Dash would settle for dime-store drink, but CH’s was a ‘little’ much, even for her.
>At least, you thought so before now.
>>27731265
>”This is spiced, aged cider from Princess Celestia herself! Anonymous mentioned how much he liked it while staying with the princesses, so when I told her of the situation she had it flown in from Canterlot at high expense to ensure it reached its destination in pristine condition. She entrusted it to ME because she knew that after all of my friendship lessons ‘I’ would be the perfect candidate to properly welcome Anonymous to our w—uh-town.”
>The lavender pony stumbles strangely at the end but you pay her no heed, instead flashing Dash a cautionary glare as she carefully broke a tag on the lid and lifted it an inch to give the much discussed cider to get a real sniff, taking great care not to alert Twilight to her actions while she pontificated.
>Her focus was a little wasted in the end, given her cartoonish reaction.
>Dash’s snout scrunches furiously, her head whipping back and forth before easing away, the lid falling back into place with a small but noticeable clatter.
>”Phee-heew, jeeeez! You sure this is cider, Twilight? It-it smells like… friggin’… Minoshine or something…” Dash comments, huffing hard as if to try and get the scent out of her nose.
>You were going to chastise her until the enhanced odor from the open lid hit you as well.
>The cyan mare was overreacting of course, but not by much if your nose could be trusted.
>If it smelled like that, then it was a little surprising it was sent in simple glass jug considering it could’ve probably eaten through it.
>Joking aside, Minoshine seemed like far too brash a term.
>Considering the royal source, as well as the other subtler scents surrounding the stronger one, it was more likely that this cider had been barrel aged like Twilight said, but also distilled well beyond what was average.
>It was the kind of drink old guardmares drank on somber anniversaries, and the kind of drink mares DARED other mares to drink to prove how tough they were.
>>27731276
>The picture being painted of this ‘Anonymous’ was becoming an interesting one.
>A gentle and supposedly intelligent young male enjoying a drink designed to suit the taste and stature of the Royal Diarchy?
>He reminded you of the fantasy stallions in lusty romance novels; the classy, unwinnable hoof for the hardy leading mare to pine after and then romance for the entirety of the story.
>Curiouser and curiouser.
>Twilight, not at all amused by having the seal on the jug broken early, shot a quick glare at the blue pony before whipping her head around and flipping the saddle-flap on the side of the expensive cider shut.
>She looked as though she wanted to impart a few sharp words, but paused when a light green house in the distance captured her attention.
>”Oh, ahh, well… we’re here.” She announces softy, swiftly abandoning her frustration and giving each of you a confirming look.
>You knew this place.
>Not even three weeks ago it had been abandoned, derelict.
>You remembered thinking to yourself what an eyesore it was every time you passed by.
>When you trotted by one morning and found handymares littering the yard, you remembered feeling relieved that somepony was finally taking responsibility for its shoddy appearance.
>It’s shattered, boarded up windows.
>The effective but hideously large lock that sealed the weather-warped door.
>The crumbling roof slowly entreating into the mold-laced attic.
>If the drink in Twilight’s saddlebag was the kind of drink mares dared other mares to consume, this house is the house that fillies dared other fillies to enter at the peak of its disrepair.
>Granted, its condition had been much improved since then, but the eeriness of a priorly abandoned building still lingered.
>The windows looked brand new, but every single one of them was shut tight, curtains drawn, not allowing a single ray of sunlight or a single curious eye to invade the interior.
>>27731283
>The faded path that branched off of the one you had taken to get here, the one that led to the front door, had been re-carved, but looked completely and utterly undisturbed since.
>The door ahead of you appeared to have been recently replaced, and its unpainted cedar color stood out against the otherwise pear-green planks around it.
>The only trinket which seemed to have survived the house’s purge, the tinny, shrill wind chimes, clanked gently in the fading breeze.
>The setting sun dyed half of the house as well as the face of the sparse Everfree tree line behind it a sweet orange color, and cast much of the rest into a darkness matching the retreating canopy of the forest’s deepest reaches.
>Had somepony really been living here for five days?
>If you were more paranoid, you’d almost say this looked like some sort of trap.
>Like the house had been expertly spruced up and shined to perfection, but still couldn’t quite manage to hide… ‘something’.
>Something off.
>You hated the goosebumps that sprang to life on your skin as you approached, the whispers of a strange scent just barely touching your nose.
>It’s silly of you to do this all over again.
>There’s nothing to fear.
>Twilight had already spent some time with him.
>She wouldn’t want to cheer him up and mingle him with her loved ones if she wasn’t fond of him.
>Celestia wouldn’t have sent a jug of expensive cider to his house if she didn’t trust him around her subjects.
>He was just a poor, lonely thing that needed a little female confidence and comfort in his time of need.
>A trio of blunt, hard thuds shake the door in front of you, Twilight’s hoof sending echoes from each impact deep into the house.
>”Anonymous? Anon? Are you home? I-It’s me, Twilight.”
>You knew Twilight to warble and err occasionally in conversation, especially in sudden greetings.
>A small stumble, a loss of confidence.
>>27731296
>You knew that she took her studies quite seriously, and sometimes didn’t get in as much social interaction as a gentlemare should.
>It was mostly harmless; charming on occasion, even.
>This wasn’t one of those times.
>Her voice was just slightly tense, and you could swear you saw her hoof shake slightly when she knocked on the door.
>What’s wrong?
>Is she nervous?
>Why is she nervous?
>A time passes, and nothing happens.
>Within it you peer at her, search her for something.
>Either she doesn’t return your gaze or doesn’t notice you looking at her.
>She’s focused, focused on what’s ahead of her, though you can’t tell whether or not it’s the door or what could be behind it.
>Above and to your left the breeze tinkles the aged wind chimes hanging from the stoop patio gently, the soft sound of the metal tubes and clay baubles sounding loud compared to the silence enveloping the three of you.
>Something inside the house moves.
>It shifts, just enough to make a noise.
>It’s approaching you now, coming from the rear of the house and drawing in towards the front.
>All of the blinds are closed and you can’t see a single thing through them, not one hint of what to expect.
>Your eyes break away from the lavender pony at your left, crossing over the door to find Rainbow Dash standing patiently on your right.
>She looks calm, unfazed, and then confused when she meets your eyes, her brow furrowing questioningly.
>Is this all in your head?
>You mind suddenly races, trying to calculate what ‘like a minotaur’ looked like, specifically.
>Twilight still won’t look at you, but as the heavy sound of hoof-steps nears the other side of the door you dare not speak, dare not ask her to look back at you, just for a moment, just for a second, just to put your foolish head at ease.
>You ARE being foolish after all, which is why you smile as the door opens.
>You smile to remind yourself why you’re here.
>>27731312
>You smile to remind yourself where dull, simple animal instinct and reasonable civility divide.
>The door falls inward just as the sun falls beneath the horizon, the last direct rays of sunlight dying just as you catch sight of him, of Anonymous.
>You hear two sounds in rapid succession, and you stop smiling.
>They’re quiet, but you won’t look away to see what they are; you don’t need to.
>The first is a sharp intake of breath from your left belonging to Twilight, its intensity several measures below a gasp but still loud enough for you to hear.
>The second, to your right, was the sound of a Pegasus unfurling their wings, swelling their plumage just a little.
>Just enough.
>It was a subtle sound that one began to notice when spending a sufficient amount of time around the winged ponies.
>It was the sound of a Pegasus preparing to take flight.
>Contextually, however, it was the sound of Rainbow Dash preparing to do the one thing that the simple, primal instincts you scorned a moment ago were demanding of you now, but only for a split, kneejerk second:
>Flee.
>>27731319
cliffhanger ayyy lmao
Welp, that's it's for this part. I'm a little ways into the next part, so hopefully I'll get that one out soon enough. Until then, I hope you guys enjoyed. Feel free to critique and such, especially if I goofed up on spelling or 'Her penis'd anywhere so I can get stuff fixed up for the pastebin, which I will update in a bit.
>>27731319
Spooky shit, m8, and what was the prompt about anyways?
>>27731342
Spooky, mysterious bachelor Anon from Rarity's pov? Color me intrigued.
>>27731355
Thanks for reading, man. I wanted it to get a little tense at the end there since the prompts were 'ponies scared of Anon' and the POV was from a pony. Dunno for sure where I'll take it, but it'll probably be pred/prey-ish.
>>27731389
Yehhh. Hopefully it turned out alright. It's been a while since my last posts.
>>27731319
>>27731342
>Stopping
Back to work, slave. The first tribute was good, but more is required.
>>27731512
The whip stingeth me so fiercely, o lord. I will comply.
>>27731547
ghouls, if you don't continue I will be sad. I might even cry. Do you want that blood on your hands?
>>27727733
On the cyoa website (anonpone, I think it's called), it's labeled as complete. Also, it's name is Maid For You.
>Anon innocent physical gestures of affection mean something much more intimate to ponies
>EG Anon goes to pat Applejack on the back as a "good job" for a hard-day's work
>Applejack is flustered and angry that Anon just told her that he wants to mount her
>>27730527
Yessss
>>27731222
This is great, the ribbing Dash is getting from her friends is fantastic.
>>27731967
Earth ponies are my favourite type of ponies. They're so adorable with how they have to manipulate everything with their mouths. It's like watching a cat walk around with its favourite toy in its mouth.
>>27731319
>>27731342
Jeez, you'd think he was some kind of eldritch horror or something.I like it.
>>27731930
>>EG Anon
REEEEEEEEE
>>27732217
>"For Example" if you're going to be a pleb, pleb-meister.
>>27732217
>Example Given
>>27732217
It explains his color...He might be a Slenderman cosplayer. During his journey to Equestria, his mask got fused to his face. And it got drenched in green paint.
>>27732298
Naw. Anon panicked and got weirdly attached to hiding his face from the ponies. His reasoning being that it's the only thing he has that's still personal and private after being thrust into a new land and away from everything he was and ever would be.
>>27732229
>>27732251
why would you capitalize that
or not have proper punctuation in it
>>27732362
Because English is HARD, Anon. Don't fucking grill me on this.
>>27711830
>>27711833
Not RGRE enough
>>27727095
Boner , no.. !!
...
it's already too late
>>27732336
I still firmly believe the mask is to protect the ponies. One look at Anon's face causes instant orgasm and a unnatural yearning for toffee. Some green a while back said so and I'm sticking by it.
Haven't wrote in a while, so I'm gonna pump out some concentrated comfy
>Maybe it's the hair- how it's mostly shaven off on the sides and spiked at the top
>Maybe it's the little skull earrings he's wearing
>Maybe it's the black tank-top that says "Style's not dead: You are" with a decal of a smiley face, eyes X-ed out
"You're not looking so hot there with that gash on your arm."
>"Not looking so hot? Baby, I invented hot. Saying that I'm not is an AH FUCK FUCK FUCK WHAT IS THAT YOU'RE POURING ON ME."
>There's something off about this colt
"Medicine. Now stop squirming around so I can finish my job faster and get you out quicker."
>>27732672
-----
>Let's see
>Carrots, celery, and onions...what else did you miss?
>Suddenly, a familiar voice rings out behind you
>"WOOOOOOOOO-"
>Something whizzes past you, nearly missing you by an inch
>"I'M THE KING OF TROLLEYS!"
>Several ponies gallops after the tall figure in the shopping cart
>"YEAH ANONYMOUS! YOU GO, COLT!"
CRASH
>"OH SHIT ANKLES AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BEND LIKE THAT."
>"LUNA WHY."
>One of his cronies rush up to you
>"Hey, you work at the hospital, right? Can you fix up Anon for us?"
>You get a sharp intake of air
>And exhale
"...Sure."
>>27732683
-----
"How in Tartarus did you manage to get these lacerations on your back?"
>He stares at you
>His eyes are actually very pretty; there's a pleasant sea-green tint to them, piercing through you
>...Where did that thought come from?
>Probably just that dry spell acting on you
>...Celestia, when's the last time you got laid?
>"-and that's when I wanted to prove a point to that Stalliongrad cunt that I can wrestle timberwolves."
"..."
>You sigh
"Whatever. I'm just gonna patch you up and not continue questioning."
>"Fine with me. Just don't rub that weird shit that stings like hell OW FUCK I JUST TOLD YOU NOT TO-"
>That earns a chuckle out of you
>It's fun to mess with him
>>27732688
-----
"Yes, Dad. I've been taking care of myself. No, I'm not looking for a colt right now. All they do is interfere with my work. WHAT?! Dad, I'm not gay-"
>"Heyyy there, who are you talking to?"
"None of your business, and what did you do this time? No, that wasn't directed at you, Dad."
>"Ooo. Dads, huh? Yeah, I'm not so good with my old man either."
"UGH, you know what? We'll talk later, Dad. There's a 'patient' waiting for me."
>You slam the phone down and look at him
"I'm not in a good mood, so spit it out."
>He shuffles around in front of you, arms behind back
>"Erm, ahh."
"What? Just say whatever you're gonna say."
>His pale cheeks take up a pink tinge
"I-I was going to!"
>He places a small package on your desk, fumbling a bit in the process
>"Madetheseforyougottagobye!"
>And there he goes, out as fast as he came in
>What's up with him?
>You take a good look at what he left behind, and it's...the coltiest thing you've ever seen
>A box with frilly pink wrapping and a neat bow tied on top
>You take apart the packaging, and open up the container
>Your heart picks up pace upon seeing the inside
>It's a note with "Homemade" handwritten on it in neat cursive and heart-shaped cookies
>This is made for you?
>You pick one up and pop it in your mouth
>The confection melts on your tongue with pure, sugary goodness
>This, is, amazing
>Oh buck
>You think back to a few moments ago- how harshly you've treated him, and all he wanted to do was give you something he baked
>With love, no less
>>27732696
-----
>You press the doorbell, waiting on bated breath as the ring resonates through the house, footsteps following in its wake
>The door slowly creeks open, and he gasps upon seeing you
"H-Hey."
>"Um, hey."
"..."
>"...How did you know my address?"
"Oh! Ahh, the hospital has a collection of our past patients files. Eh, housing location included."
>"Oh."
"..."
>"..."
>BUCK THIS IS SO AWKWARD
"Sooo, I saw what you gave me."
>His eyes widen in response
>"Huh? Oh, no no no. That wasn't me. That was, ahm, someone else who had a thing for nurses that told me to-"
"-And I liked it."
>"You did?"
"So I'm thinking...Maybe you want to do something? You and me-WOAH"
>He swoops you into his arms, a full bear-hug as he buries his face into your neck
>"Yes, yes, yes!"
>Joy rushes into you as air continues escaping your lungs
"Can't, breathe."
>"Hmm? Oh shit."
>He undoes his death-grip and lowers you back down
>"Sorry. Heheh."
"It's," you take a huge breath to make up for your previous lack of oxygen, "alright. So, tonight at 8, maybe?"
>He's practically hopping around like a foal on a sugar high
>"YEAH! that works for me. See you then?"
"I guess. See you."
>You walk away as he shuts the door, a muffled shriek of happiness behind you
>>27732702
That's it for now. Clumsy dates on the next update.
>>27731856
I DIDN'T ASK FOR THIS.
>>27732028
Hah, yeh. I like 'dumb jock' RD, it tends to be the first think I think of when it comes to her RGRE personality.
>>27732204
Yeah, I actually think I might have wrote it a little too straight at the end there, even if it was 'vague instinct' on Rarity's part. Hopefully I didn't send the wrong message since I intend Anon to be pretty normal and a lot of the '2spooky' to be coincidence or innate biology. Still,I'm glad you liked it Anon, 'cause there's more tiny pone jitters ahead.
Also, to anyone interested, I've updated my pastebin. Here yuh go. http://pastebin.com/u/tANDghouls
>>27732708
excite
>>27732651
>Mask
>Anon arrives in Equestria
>Pinkie meets him
>"Such a pure and delicate creature, like a fresh cinnamon bun"
"U wot m8?"
>Pinkie gives Anon a mask
>"Wear this."
>Anon looks at both the pink pony and her mask skeptically
"Rad, free Luchadore mask!"
>Anon takes the mask
>Pinkie is now wearing another mask, just like the one she gave to Anon
>"LUCHA LUCHA MI HOMBRE ES HORA"
>Anon puts on the mask
>The duo begin wrestling
>They are evenly matched and decide to team up against the world
>"COOPERACIÓN ALEGRE"
"SPANISH WORDS"
>The world was doomed.
>>27732708
Very nice.
>>27732724
Scared ponies are cutest ponies.
>>27728682
One of your best stories ApA.
In other words: moar when?!
>>27732708
Ayy, lookin' good Coolkids. That's some cute right there.
>>27732743
AGGRESSIVELYfrightenTHE MARE
>>27732793
And then AGGRESSIVELYmanhandleTHE MARE.
>>27732708
MOAR
MOAAAAAAR
>>27732702
Ooh predator and prey story? Sign me up.
>>27731342
Damn yo. This is great! A bit ambitious tho. Sure hope u have the nigh unheard of motivation to see it thru.
>>27733411
Now, the real question here is this going to be predator v prey fetish.
>>27730025
already a story like this, not rgre, but celestia keeps the population stupid for borderline retarded reasons. the thing that starts it all off is 'the world is not flat' and anon starts teaching science with twilight when luna gets pissed at celestia.
>>27730707
>>27728448
So what you're saying is, you're a giant faggot who loves the feeling of tremendous, veiny nigger cocks ravaging your asshole? But we already knew that.
>>27733870
Kek
>>27730862
Think Christmas cake.
Shitty prompt incoming
I really like the concept of Anon lying to Twalot 'n' Co. that he's a mare. They start to think that they're homo for Anon when in reality he's not at all female.
>You are Twilight Sparkle, honorable Princess of Friendship and what not
>And you are over at Anon's place for a nice visit and watching some good ol' anime
>If you didn't know better, you would have boasted to your mother that a colt invitied you over to his place
>But luckily, you DO know better and you know that Anon is purely a mare
>Yes, a mare
>A mare that h-has a r-rich baritone v-voice a-and no way does she have strong arms--
>"Hey, Twilight, you there? You're spacing out again."
"Y-yeah, I'm fine."
>Snap out of it!
>Anonymous is purely female; she just has coltish traits, that's all!
>It's perfectly normal for any mare to exhibit some coltish traits, you think.
>He suddenly stands up and bends to pick up the bowl of snacks
>Dear Celestia, that figure
>Y-You can't be gay, can you?
>>27734026
>>He suddenly
fuck my life, I keep fucking up continuity in my prompts
>>27734026
Oh, I like this.
>Anon turns all the mares in equestria homo
>Pony hangs out with Anon
>Assumes Anon is a human mare because of how Anon acts
>Notices strange feelings towards Anon
>Secret shame is secret
>After a while they accept they are now a raging dyke
>Anon is just having fun with pony pals
>Anon is now lusted over by all of Equestria
>No mare is straight anymore
>They want dat hot ayylmao booty
>Carpet sales are at an all time high
>But it all changed when the fir-
>When Anon is confirmed to be male
>At a public event his pants come off and everyone sees his donger
>Mares rejoice at no longer being carpetmuchers
>Carpet sales plummet
>National holiday is declared to celebrate national dehomofication
>Just as all the mares have their guard down, a new threat emerges
>Stallions still want that ayy
>Female homogay is replaced by the male variant
>Horse wang drought ensues
>Day of celebration becomes one of mourning
>Anon remains unaware of all of this through completely reasonable reasons
>Probably too busy playan vidya and watchan animoos with pony pals to care about the news or some shit like that
>>27733411
Predator and prey?
It looks to me like an example of "romance with the wild tomboy (who has a secret girly side)" except RGRE.
>>27720010
Keep going faggot
>>27722978
Do a rewrite with Anon instead of some filthy pony colt.
>>27734150
I figured "colt" just reffered to a male of some kind.
They could still be a human.It's fine if they aren't a human though.
>>27724761
It's an expression. Like saying someone has big balls, even if they're a girl.
>>27730527
You keep referring to Redheart as a guy. I assume this is unintentional.
>>27725490
Can you really blame Luna for all that noise?
>>27734156
He was described as having hooves. That is not a human.
Human Male Anon is objectively the best character because he is the easiest to project yourself into for the vast majority of the board.
>>27734346
Oh, and also because hands.
>>27732696
>>With love, no less
>It's been so long since you've tasted genuine love.
>You thought working at a horsepital would give you plenty of chances to gather up some delicious love from grateful patients, but nopony cares about a mare nurse.
>But this?
>You could feed a whole fletch of changeling drones for weeks, if not months!
>>27734346
Project shmroject. I prefer humans because they completely change the story and add new potential. A pony in RGRE (or regular E) has been born into the setting, so they see things in a certain way that shouldn't deviate too far from any other character. But for a human, everything is new and different (and possibly RGR), and he is also new and different to the ponies. Anything could happen. It's just an inherently more interesting setting to start off with.
But even then, I wouldn't go so far as to say it's absolutely essential.
>>27732724
None of us asked for it, ghouls. But when we put on the mask and took up the mantle of "writefag", we knew that we would have certain responsibilities.
Anon falls in love with Pinkie Pie.
Unable to confess, he is gifted with by a deus ex machina with the pony's phone number. Never minding the strange area code, he immediately calls her, and is overjoyed to find out that she has a crush on him as well.
But, the next day, when he recounts the previous day's confessions to the mare, she only looks at him with a perplexed expression. After some investigation, he finds out that the Pinkie he called is not the same mare he fell in love with. In fact, she doesn't exist in this universe at all. She is Pinkie's alternate universe counterpart, who has fallen in love with Anon's own AU self, who too is blissfully unaware of her crush.
Hijinks ensue as the two strike up a deal to give each other their darkest, most private secrets in order to equip the other with the weapons they need to conquer the heart of their other selves. While the two chase their respective loved ones, DRAMA ensues as they begin to fall in love with each other instead and question the NATURE of LOVE.
>Pinkie P-AI! Because, you know, she's Pinkie Pie and it's a love story. Get it, get it?
>>27734445
That sounds like a prompt with a much higher skill level requirement than usual.
It does sound interesting, though.
Also, kind of scary. Also tragic. Also, you kind of gave away the whole story.
>>27734467
He wants you to write a story for him.
Not exactly rgre, but the idea of creative revenge reminded me of something I made long ago, touched it up a bit... not sure if anyone here will like it but fuck it.
>You are anonymous
>and Rarities bullshit has got to stop
>she won't listen to a word you say and what your 'fashion senses' are
>no, I don't want to walk around with diamonds and emeralds in my clothing at all
>it took all the fight you had to get her to scrap the pastel abomination originally made for you
>but sadly you are not a complete asshole
>when someone makes you something or does something nice for you
>you can't help but say thank you and go along with it, even if you don't want to
>only reason to even stood up to rarity in the first place was because of how fucked that clothing was
>But you know just how to get back at her
>they say revenge is a dish best served cold, it's been on the table for three months now
>it took a long time to find fabric needed, longer to find the perfect color
>A bit of help from Fluttershy and the suit is ready
>Have to wonder exactly where she got that skill, and why rarity was the one who made the clothing
>All that is needed was an excuse to give it to her and a pinkie party was as the perfect location
>a place where she wouldn't be willing to freak out, tell you go fuck yourself, and more so than that a place that you can use the same method she used on you to get her to wear the clothing
>Never underestimate the power of guilt, or the threat of it
>This will be glorious
>>27734533
>To most Pinkie is a bit... annoying in large doses, but you can have fun with it.
>Lately you have taken to seeing how ridiculous a thing you can propose to get her to make a party for, and this one takes the cake
>The world didn't end today party.
>Now you can say this about almost every single day in Equestria and it wouldn't even be that much of a surprise, granted the world almost ends here more often than it does on earth
>right now that's besides the point
>you got her throw a party for the whole town for next to no reason.
>She is an accessory to your plot and she has no idea, no one has any idea they they are all accessories
>You arrive a bit late, present in toe
>Pinkie is curious, but you yell her to wait
>You want to spring this on her, and everyone in attendance without warning.
>Go ahead rarity, have your drinks, you are going to need them, a bit a cake too
>let her socialize just a little bit
>Deciding now is the best time to set everything into motion you close in on her
>You ask her if she has any work needing to be done a bit loudly with pinkie close by
>She takes an interest and comes over
>Rarity assured you, and a slightly upset looking ponks she had nothing planned for tomorrow so leaving the party early wouldn't happen
>Ask her if she is willing to stay till the core group of friends leaves and she says she would love to
>hook line and sinker, everything is set
>You walk away so as not to give away the only reasons you were asking this
>You want to make it seem like you were thinking of the best time to give it to her, rather then to trap her at the party
>>27734537
>Sometime goes by before you get everyone's attention
>You tell everyone you wanted to thank the pony who helped you the most out of the kindness of their heart when they didn't have to
>That you want to give rarity a present
>A gift to let her know how much she means to you
>She is the spotlight of the party now, happy you are flattering her
>She loves every second of this
>Walking up to you to get her present, she can't imagine this moment taking a turn south
>The moment she rips through that paper and gazed upon what you created, all she wishes for is for anyone else to be the center of attention.
>What sits in a box is a full body suit that is annoyingly fluffy, in fact the fabric that you used had to be special ordered just to have three times the length of a shag rug carpet for it to be this fluffy
>She gazes at it with wide eyes, she doesn't want to offend you, she doesn't know what to say
>At least beyond the token 'thank you' and a smile that is trying to cover up her look of disgust
>Most ponies would miss that, but you don't, the look in her eyes is unmistakable
>And in for the kill you go
"Why don't you try I'd love to see you wearing right now"
>If looks could kill, you would be nothing more than a smoldering crater on the cakes floor right now
>She has no answer for this
>Not a single excuse she can think of to get out of this
>It's a casual party, so she isn't searing clothing, nothing stopping her from wearing it
>She knows she can't back out
>She can't tell you what she really thinks of it because it was a given to her in a public place
>She can't really throw back in your face, partially because she's just not that kind of a pony But more so is that the whole town is watching her receive a gift that you made for her
>You are not laughing, though it's shaving years of your life off holding it in while wearing a straight face
>>27734542
>This is not being treated like a joke gift
>You are treating it like a serious one, as a thank you for her making you all your clothing,
>Her eyes just go wide,
>Imagine pinkie pie on a 3 day on cocaine and meth bender, just imagine pinkie pie's eyes going THAT wide,
>The look rarity is giving you and that abomination you created,
>How you imagine pinkie has got nothing on this look
>Realizing she is cornered completely, her face makes a turn
>Dejected
>Yea, thats the look she is giving now
>head down to the ground, she goes off towards pinkie's room so she can at least have some privacy while she changes
>You have the decency to have pinkie go in there and help her into her clothing and make sure no one invades her privacy
>She has no idea she's being used as a pawn right now
>she just wants to help her friend, but all you want is to make sure she doesn't try and escape out the window
>With pinkie there, the person who's just throwing this party, who was there when she said she has nothing to work on, and would stay till the 5 others called it a night
>she won't be able to sneak out even if she desperately wanted to, the guilt be too much.
>>27734547
>10 minutes later
>And probably a few tears
>Not to mention the self-respect going down the toilet
>Rarity emerges from the room in what could quite possibly be the fluffiest fucking suit ever created in the history of Equestria,
>she looks absolutely fucking ridiculous.
>Some ponies are laughing at her
>not you, oh God not you
>you walk up to her with a straight face and say
"It looks good on you darling, what ever could you be complaining about?"
>Anyone who overheard this doesn't understand what you mean
>but Rarity knows
>It's what she told you when she gave you your first suit
>All that matters is she knows why you did this
>She is not amused
>But she knows you will play it off as you never meant it like that if she were call you out on it right now, it would just make her look like an asshole
>She knows you embarrassed her for a God damn reason
>You lean and then just ask her, very quietly
"Are we going to have a problem the next time I request clothing and don't want it to be the most flamboyant designs you can think of?"
>She looks at you she squints and replies “No darling, I don't believe we will.”
>As you start walk away she pulls you back down with some of her magic, wanting to ask one more thing
>”Can I please take this off? I'm…”
>You cut her off right there,
"How long did I have to wear that design with the 2000 sequins attached to it before you I got you to make something without any sparkly bits?"
>She winces at knowing just what you meant by that
"Don't worry Rarity you can take it off when you get home, but you're keeping it on the rest of this party"
>You walk off and hit the snack table, your mission is accomplished.
End
>>27731342
You mother fucker, stopping when it was getting good. Just to make sure this is the Twilight's biological father, that beat a pone Elder God monstrosity with its ripped off arm to death right?
>>27734625
No, this is the "Anon is scary to pones for bullshit reasons" prompt.
>>27734553
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! not RGRE enough!still liked it though
>>27734366
I like the way you think. Much like Luna stories, there can never be too many bughorse stories.
>>27734234
Nurse Trapheart shows Anon the softer side of man on man love.
>>27734467
>>27734479
It's actually a copypasta
>>27733743
TFW you will never watch as Zecorea bends over her cauldron so you can stir her pussy to froth with her mare cum and your semen so she can scoop it out and drink it with a potion.
>>27733411
>>27733578
>>27734077
I think... is this... did you misquote, 411? If so, thanks for being on board. I'm writing some more now. If you didn't mean me then I praise your ungodly literary skill to spot subtext, haha.
>>27733516
I hope so too, Anon. There's probably gonna be an extra part or two to this since only two ponies are really meeting Anon here, and I'm thinking of mostly tying up the visit in the next part. I wanna leave it open for more interactions. I do think this is harder than 'awkward fillies', though. There's a lot of submissive/aggressive stuff I have to mingle, so hopefully I don't flub anything too bad.
>>27734380
Thank you Uncle Ben, I needed that.
>>27734625
There's more to come, don't worry. Also, I liked what I saw of that story, but I don't think there's going to be any ancient horrors from the rift in this one. Sorry Anon.
>>27735229
I'm super hyped for more man, you got me hooked laready
Is RGRE considered as one of the more active threads green-wise?
>>27735274
Me too.
>>27732753
You know just what to say to make a girl feel wanted, Anon.
>>27728682
>Let's see.... let's see....
>You drag a finger across the weathered spines of countless books that line the shelves.
>You're looking for a very particular book.
>Starts with.... P.
>P.....
>Pa.... Pe...
>....
>Pl!
>Pla.....
>Play.....
>You're starting to feel a little giddy.
>You aren't made of stone, you know; a man has needs.
>Playb-what?
>Nothing?!
>What a waste of time.
>....Playf?
>Playfilly?
>You grab the book marked "Playfilly" and open it.
>It's full of old, archived magazines with stallions on the cover.
>....very provocatively-posed stallions.
>"Hello, Anonymous."
>Startled, you drop the book of smut mags onto the floor.
>The book lands wide-open and displays a cover with a stallions covering his testicles with both hooves.
>Celestia whistles in appreciation.
>"My, MY, Anonymous. Such refined tastes you have."
>She grabs the magazines in her magical grasp and tucks them away behind a wing.
>With a lurch, Celestia hops up onto her hind legs and leans over you, planting one foreleg onto the wall behind your head.
>"What would your father say if he saw you reading such SORDID reading material?"
>What WOULD dear old dad say if he caught you jacking off to horse porn?
"I'm sure he'd be even more disappointed in me, if that were even possible."
>Celestia ignores you and leans in closer.
>"Well, then..." she moves until her lips are just inches from your ear.
>You try to back away, but her presence has you pinned.
>She smells like vanilla and horse musk.
>Hot.
>"I suppose it's a good thing that daddy isn't here to rescue you, hmm?"
>A moist tickling on your earlobe alerts you to Celestia's tongue.
>>27735723
>You had been willing to put up with her shenanigans because she was royalty, but Anon is NOBODY'S horsefucker!
>You take a hasty step backwards away from the musky cage that is Celestia's body.
"Okay, take it easy there, Princess," you say, raising your hands defensively.
"This penis?"
>You make a lewd gesture to your crotch and try to ignore the moan that Celestia lets loose when you do.
"No for you."
>Celestia just laughs and hops back onto all four of her legs.
>"Is that so, Anonymous?"
>She advances on your position, swinging her hips as she goes.
>"I'm sure you'll find that I can be quite persuasive."
>Her nostrils flare as she moves her snout over towards your crotch, and she shudders.
>"Mmmm.... you have such a strong aroma, Anonymous. Why don't you come here and let me give you the best 12 seconds of your life?"
>Excuse me?
>12 seconds?
>Fuck you too, sunhorse.
"What do you mean, 12 seconds?"
>Celestia looks alarmed for just a moment before she chuckles indulgently at you.
>"Oh, my apologies. Sometimes I forget that it's rude nowadays to bring up how long a stallion lasts...."
>She very overtly glances down at your dick.
>"....down there...."
>Whoo-boy.
>All this talk about dicks is making you a little hot under the collar.
>>27735030
So we're getting random copy pasta now? Wonderful.
>>27735731
What do you mean... TWELVE SECONDS?
>>27735848
400 thousand bits
>>27735731
Oh my, you better continue this Pluggo. If not as a part of the story, then at least as a side-thing. Please, my penis needs more Celestia.
>>27735731
Sorry, friends. I got exactly two non-Anon characters in this upcoming part, and I'm going to using >"" and >>"" for their dialogue.If ever there are more characters than that, I'll use my words like a big boy to make it clear who is talking. If there are just two, then it isn't really worth the effort.
>Celestia is relentless.
>"But I'll bet bits to biscuits that you aren't one of those old fuddy-duddy stallionist types, Anonymous."
>She raises her eyebrows and smirks at you.
>"Hmmm? No, you would have blown your rape whistle a long time ago if you were. That's what I like about you, Anonymous."
>She takes in another deep breath and shudders, her entire body shaking.
>"You know what a mare wants, don't you? You aren't afraid to do what..." she takes a quick breath in through her nose, "what you were BORN to do, hmm?"
>Christ, this new Celestia is terrifying.
>Who knew she could get so rapey?
>"Modern stallions never speak of this; no.... it's too 'degrading'. But I'll bet you would LOVE to go down on this..."
>She spins around and lifts her tail, presenting her pink, puffy lips to you.
>They're dribbling with antici......
>......
>......
>......
>....pation.
>Celestia begins to walk backwards toward you.
>"Do you want a taste, sweetheart? Now's your chance.... there's nopony here to stop m-er, us."
>Christ above, you can practically TASTE her from here.
>Over the din of Celestia's quiet moaning and groaning, the sound of a door opening can be heard.
>>"Sister? Hast thou seen Our collection of 'Refined Gentlemare's Stallions'?"
>Luna pokes her head around from behind a bookshelf and peers at you innocently.
>>"We seem to have misplaced i - SISTER!"
>Celestia raises her wings to cover her exposed genitals and shouts in alarm.
>"Luna?! Wh-what are you doing here?!"
>Luna stares wide-eyed at her sister before stomping over.
>Her snoozle is scrunched harder than you've ever seen it.
>>27735924
Breed them, Anon.
Human cock goes in, a pony comes out.
>>27721981
That was 99% cute and cozy (plus-minus 1%), thanks. Now I owe you a sketch
>>27735884
Ask and ye shall receive.
>>27735924
>>"Dost Our eyes deceive Us? Hast that foul knave Discord played tricks on Us again? We thought thou wert better than this!"
>Luna bumps snouts with Celestia and starts flapping her wings.
>>"A pox! A pox on thine-"
>"He was asking for it!" yells Celestia, her voice ragged and with a desperate edge to it.
>Celestia begins to push back with her muzzle, forcing Luna to take a couple of steps back.
>"Look at him, Luna! Look at the way he wears those clothes of his. They cover up everything."
>>"But-"
>"Everything! Even... THAT."
>Luna glances over to you, bypassing your eyes entirely and staring you square in the crotch.
>"Can't you smell him from here, dear sister? You have to."
>Celestia's nostrils flare again.
>Even so far removed from you, and as close as she is to her sister, Celestia's body still shudders in delight.
>She's started to pant, now.
>"It's so strong. I HAVE to have it, Luna. Can't you see?"
>Luna is too busy staring at your groin to respond.
>A blush is forming on her face, and her eyes start to take on a glazed-over look to them.
>If you looked closely, you'd see that Luna's own nostrils were flaring, taking in your scent.
>The very same musk that was odorless to you and yet filled the room with its moist presence.
>Celestia licks her lips and leans in close to her sister's ear.
>In the dead silence of the library, insulated with countless rows of books, her words are as loud as Luna's Traditional Canterlot Voice.
>"We could share him."
>This snaps Luna out of her revere.
>>"N-no!"
>She shakes her head as though trying to remove water from her ears.
>>"We shall not let thou corrupt yet another colt to thine perversions, Sister!"
>Celestia relents and steps back, sighing explosively.
>"Oh, Luna; let loose once in a while! What's the harm in a little bit of fun?"
>>27734445
FINDS A WAY
>>27735924
http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/warframe/images/5/5f/TylRegorTaunt5.ogg/revision/latest?cb=20150801042747
Stop at 5 seconds, or continue to enjoy toobdaddy
>>27736023
>>"Thou are not supposed to be intimate with a colt unless thou intendeth to marry him, Sister."
>Luna shoots you another look; desperate lust mixed with disapproval.
>Once again, her gaze does not stay on your eyes for long.
>She puts up a good fight, but she's very quickly staring at your penis-place once more.
>>"He... he... such a b-beautiful and innocent colt shouldst only know the t-touch..."
>Luna takes a break to take a few deep breaths, but you can see the sweat building up on her brow.
>Not to mention that her blush has yet to recede by any significant amount.
>She's fighting against herself.
>>"...the touch of a mare on his wedding night. 'Tis the way Our father taught Us, yes?"
>Luna looks uncertainly to Celestia, who seems a bit bored with the entire situation.
>The looks she gives you is the same one your old employees down at Walmart would give you.
>The look of, "I've heard this a million times."
>>"But We suppose..."
>Celestia's ears perk up at this development.
>It seems that Luna's old-fashioned values are losing some ground to her lust for you.
>>"It is not the olden day anymore, is it? For a mare to taketh a stallion so brazenly..."
>Luna's chest begins to heave, and her regalia slips a bit on her sweat-slicked coat.
>>"For such... such PERVERSION to be so casually undertaken!"
>She looks at you now with no hint of disapproval in her eyes.
>>"A stallion to be shared? What values hast thou lost to consider this, Lord Anonymous? Hast thou truly fallen so far as to consider intimacy with a mare outside of herding?"
>Celestia tip-hoofs over and blows hot breath on to her sister's ear.
>"You've been away a long time, Luna. It really isn't that uncommon, you know - two sisters sharing a colt."
>>"Truly?" gasps Luna, the word barely comprehensible, "Forsooth?"
>Celestia grins widely and breaks away from her sister, turning to face you.
>She swings her hips as she walks, her hoofsteps soon joined by her sister's.
>"Forsooth."
>>27736143
Yuus.
>>27736143
"For-sooth"
>As you utter the oldey timey wordey, you squeeze the trigger, once for each syllable
>Squirt
>Squirt
>The princesses scrunch their snootles and fall over flailing their legs
"Bad ponies, humans are not for sexual."
>As you stand there over the defeated diarchs, you never even notice the other two alicorns sneaking up behind you
>"EVERYTHING is for sexual, Anon." they say in unison as they ambush you
>>27736201
Everything, huh?
>>27736143
>A burst of golden magic obliterates your pants and underwear.
>You're rock-hard.
>You hate to say it, but that little show combined with the sight and smell of Celestia's pussy has started to blur the lines of sex and bestiality for you.
>The cold air on your dick just makes you all the more aware of each and every nerve ending that hide under the thin skin of your turgid length.
>You can feel your cock bobbing in time with each hard beat, which has begun to speed up as the two royal sisters approach you.
>Curiously, Celestia is content to sit by the sidelines and watch with a vacant expression.
>A dark-blue glow envelops your testicles as Luna starts to caress your scrotum.
>>"Thou art... virile, Lord Anonymous."
>Her breath is practically fogging the air in front of you as she approaches at crotch-level.
>>"Wilt thou impregnate us?"
>Her mouth is so close to the engorged head of your cock.
>>"Allow Us to finally continue Our line?"
>A particularly firm squeeze to your musky sack makes you twitch involuntarily.
>A drop of pre-cum emerges from the tip of your cock and lazily drips down to the ground.
>....if Luna had not been there to lick it up for you.
>>"We think that.... Oh, damnation!"
>Your vision begins to lose focus as an obnoxious noise fills your ears.
>>"W-wait! Please, Anonymous, give Us more time!"
>A loud shuffling of papers fills your ears, though neither Luna or Celestia have parchment anywhere near them.
>>"We can't find a quill! Oh, why didst thou have to smell so good, mine love?"
>>27736283
>BRAAP BRAAP BRAAP
>alksfdjaosugh
>>"Curse thy waking-up contraption! Thine craven, swag-bellied dewberry clock hast taken Our time too soon!"
>Something wet slaps you in the face, and you wake up completely.
>You sit up just in time to watch your bedroom door slam shut.
>You turn your alarm clock off and investigate what slapped you in the face.
>...which appears to be a slip of paper.
>Upon further inspection, it's damn-near unreadable.
>Something... sticky is smeared all over the page, making the ink run.
>You can barely make out small sections of text.
>And it smells like vanilla and horse musk.
>Hot.
>Ahem.
>"Dost thou - couldst thine - forsooth, thine cock is - the benefits of marrying royalty - please sit on our face - carnival - fill Us up - everlasting love -"
>"Hugs - winks - admirer"
>"XXX"
>You have the WEIRDEST boner right now.
>>27736283
>All of a sudden, lewd
Wait what.
I liked cockblock Luna more.
>>27736291
>please sit on our face
>fill Us up
First she wants you to give her Arabian goggles and then make her a mom. What a princess.
>>27736291
And here's the pastebin link, fully updated.
http://pastebin.com/8CMW0icz
>>27736302
Luna can do what she wants in the dreamscape, Anon.What if I told you that Anon and Celestia would meet again in the waking world only for Luna to interrupt them?
>>27736328No, but for reals: cockblocking Luna is going to be a part of the story.
>>27736291
So it was all a dream? FUCK
>>27736328
Only if Anon fucks them stupid and fills them both with cum. >>27736342
I am ok with this.
>>27736328
>What if I told you that Anon and Celestia would meet again in the waking world only for Luna to interrupt them?
poor luna
give luna the d
>>27734077
Check his pastebin
>Before Equestria, Anon was married to the woman of his dreams.
>When he said "Till death do we part," he meant it.
>He fully intends to live the rest of his days alone if he can't make it back to earth. He simply won't betray his wife or the vows he made.
>Ponies, the handful of mares trying to pull him into a relationship in particular, have no idea what to make of it.
>Why would he do that? They wonder. There are so many mares he could be happy with,
>As herd creatures, the concept to purposeful isolation and suffering is just too foreign to fully comprehend.
>The fact that Anon is a male and purposely doing this to himself only makes it worse.
>What to do about this? They wonder.
>Differences between the human and pony concepts of love, loyalty, and what is moral in such a dilemma come to light.
>>27736573
>married to the woman of his dreams
Immersion instantly broken.
>>27736573
But anything serious is called edgy by the ten yr old kids who shitpost 24/7. You can't have that!
>>27736597
sadly, this.
>>27736573
>Anon's wife was Sauron
>>27736573
>>He fully intends to live the rest of his days alone if he can't make it back to earth. He simply won't betray his wife or the vows he made.
That's actually really sweet, Anon.
>>27736573
If Anon's not a faggot then he'll honor his vow.
>>27736573
Anon, this is one of the best prompts from this general in over a week, at least, you follow your idea and if it is done right, it'll take you far.
I believe in you anon!
>>27736667
>>(You)
>>27736573
I would read it
That Anon sounds like a trooper
>>27736573
I wouldn't say that this idea is edgy. I'd read the HECK out of this story if given half the chance.
>>27734553
I liked it. Nice short
>>27736573
Do it. It's not edgy; it's mature.Suprise!!There's a difference.
You guys might not like
>no hooves
but I still wanted to share these with you.https://nhentai.net/g/138630/
https://nhentai.net/g/141097/
https://nhentai.net/g/152021/
>>27736351
>>27736443
>"Oh, Anon! Both of us? Mmmm... the rumours of your promiscuity WERE true, then."
>Celestia sidles up to you and starts to rub her flank against your hand.
>"How many other ponies have you rutted, Anon? Five?"
>She licks your cheek.
>"Ten?"
>She shoves her snout into your neck and inhales deeply, taking in your scent.
"Z-zero..."
>Celestia's eyes open wide and she looks at your face for any traces of dishonesty.
>A grin splits her cheeks and she motions for Luna to come closer.
>"Look here, Luna; it seems as though we've got a virgin on our hooves."
>Luna shoots a smug look at Celestia, who rolls her eyes and grins back.
>"Oh, alright. You were right; Anon is "an innocent colt whose purity doesn't need co-'" "
>Luna cuts her off and takes a step towards you protectively.
>>"Whose purity does not need thy corruption, thou scoundrel."
>Her scowl melts away as she leans into you and plants kisses along your jaw line.
>>"Not without Our supervision, Sister dearest. If we art to take from Lord Anonymous his most sacred gift, then We art to maketh sure that he will be properly...."
>Luna surprises you with a kiss on the lips; it's tongueless and surprisingly chaste.
>>"...taken care of."
>Simultaneous horn-glows push you back onto your pillows, and both sisters crawl towards you.
>"How does 'Prince Anonymous' sound to you, sweetheart?"
>The scent of Luna and Celestia's combined musk makes your head swim.
>>"We personally prefer 'father of Our foals', dear Sister."
>>27710433
Trixie wouldn't do that in a million fucking years
>>27737006
I remember these from a hentai thread, I liked it a lot, but I couldn't finish because they always used a condom and there was no creampie anywhere. That really killed my bonner, good otherwise.
>>27737062
>bonner
>Bon-bon is now your dick
>jesuschristhowhorrifying.tapestry
>>27737073
isn't there porn of that?
>>27737062
You wouldn't have unprotected sex with a whore, would you Anon?
>>27737073
fuck
We've got shit like "cinnabon-bon roll". Has "bon-ner" been done before now?
>>27737033
Hnngunff?
>>27737033
>Your head swims
>But you know you need to do something
>Or else... or else>Or else you'll have a shit title
>Your lizard brain takes over
"C...cu..."
>"Mmmm?" Celestia looks up at you, slowly planting kisses down your side. "Say it. Say my na~"
"Cunt..."
>The princesses freeze for a moment, ice running through their veins
>"A-anonymous, w-we... we thought thou-""Cunt...Destroyer. T-that's... my title."
>This week was a "live up to your title" kinda week
>>27737492Sempai!
>"We are honoured to announce the arrival of our most esteemed guests..."
>The aged pony flips a cue card and reads from it.
>"Princess Celestia...."
>A heavily pregnant alabaster mare walks in through the doors; tired, but happy.
>The old pony flips to another card.
>"Princess Luna...."
>Luna stumbles through through the door; her mane unkempt and mysterious fluids dripping from between her hind legs.
>>"Anonymous, stop! We will be with foal soon enough, just be patient!"
>She seems eager to leave the room and join her sister.
>The old pony flips to the final card.
>"Cunt-Destroyer Anonymous.
>Anon walks through the door, pantless, with the biggest most shit-eatingest grin you've ever seen.
>>27737033
This picture pleases me greatly.
>>27737204
Hnngunff.
This thread is always so baby happy. Everyone likes pregnant bellies, but I don't think many here can share the same opinion on the actual birthing process.
>>27737529Kohai! How are you doing today?
>"Erm..."
>One of the stallions in your little stand-up group coughs, and you put your drink down
"Yes, Lord Poner?"
>"Well, the boys and I couldn't help but notice your entry-"
>You nod, scratching your stubble
"Yes... I think it's just been standard fare for the past few weeks, seeing as the girls are so close-"
>"B-well. It's just. Be that as it may, we were curious."
"Oh?"
>"Yes!" Fancypants pipes up. "That bra and codpiece you're wearing -"
>The pone points to your pecker
>Your pecker that's completely enshrined in a black obsidian-and-jade codpiece
>It's like a mayan death mask>But for your wife's cunts
>"It looks so daring, but so *uncomfortable*!"
"Oh. Well, I shroud it from mortal eyes because it's a thing of True Beauty-"
>Lord Pone huffs. "Please, I'm fine with poetry, but come on-"
>You have a doubter
>No more
"BEHOLD, KNAVE-"
>"Anonymous no-"
>Somewhere your wives begin to waddle towards you frantically
>But it's too late
>It was always too late
>You pull at the rip-away strap, and unmask your glory
>Light fills the ballroom
>"It's....so....beautiful....should've....sent a.......poet."
>You shoot Luna a look
>Manscaping is important, and the writhing-in-ecstasy Lord Poner just confirmed that for you
>>27737588
>but I don't think many here can share the same opinion on the actual birthing process
Well no shit, your mate is in pain and in danger of potentially dying.
Doesn't mean I don't want a half dozen kids though.
Why does the end of these threads always get increasingly silly?
Absnon Cunt DestroyerGolden Edition.
>>27737597Not much, BNW-chan. Just drinking and waiting for my pizza to get here. How's life right now?
>>27736597
>>27736605
No. This is actually a good prompt. Greens are labeled edgy only when angst and violence are mindlessly thrown around in the context like a scat fetishist in a sewage treatment plant.
One post closer to threads end.
THE END
500 get
New thread.
>>27737952
>>27737767
No, that's when it SHOULD be labelled edgy. My point is that anything serious would be discarded because it's not "lmao MEMES!!! XDDD" humor.
Proven' my point, Anon. :)
>>27737597
"They say anon IS ALady.
>Celestia looks at you like your crazy.
"Just because anon takes care of his pretty pretty body~."
>Scrunch.
"He oil's it~.
>Scrunch hard.
"Praises it"
>Scrunch harder.
"MASTERBAITS IT!"
>"Ok thats it your under arrest" says a royal guard.
"DAM IT! LOOK!"
>You then rip away your pants.
>"By the gods" Yells celestial looking at the glowing dong.
>>"THE END TIMES! THE END TIMES HAVE COME!" Yells luna running out the room.
>"Could the legend of the "giant willy" be true!?"
>Its silent for a second before you fire your legendary dong power's turning celestia into a applejack.
>The guard nopes the fuck out.
