Howdy, partner!
What you see here began as a series of comedy-centric stories with the concept of an alicorn-ascended Princess Applejack trying to change a mismanaged Equestria for the better by humorously interacting with the other, quite lazy, princesses.
Not to mention a whole bunch of Changelings with nothing better to do but cause mischief.
The whole thing was set in motion by this gem:
~~~~~
>So, wait, why am Ah' a princess again?
>Because you seem to be the only goddamn one of those ponies who gets that a Princess need to do actual work regarding maintenance of the kingdom. You know how much city planning or trade negotiations Twilight or Luna have done? Fucking nothing. Everyone is obsessed with the world ending threats they think I should fight, but the minute I point out the free health care I have to work to maintain everyone goes quiet. And don't even get me started on Cadence, who can't even manage a basic meeting with the Equestrian Games representative. Fucking annoying. Go do actual princess stuff, because apparently everyone else got the pamphlets mixed up or something and thinks "Princess" means "Beat cop."
~~~~~
Are you feeling creative? Try your hand at writing a story! No contribution is too small and we love having new folks around.
If you're more artistically inclined give a drawing or sketch a shot. Don't fret too much; it doesn't have to be fancy and we appreciate artwork a lot.
If that isn't your style either, writers always need feedback. So tell us what you liked - and what you didn't - to help us improve.
If you are unsure about anything, do not be afraid to ask. We will gladly bring you up-to-date or explain anything you feel is unclear.
Thread 139! Time for Applejack and Chrysalis to shine!
>>27347570
gg no re v2
>>27347570
>>27347576
I'm just fuckin m8, I'll stop
>>27347570
Where are all the links?
>>27347642
>4chan kept telling me it didn't post so I kept retrying
links soon, gimme a sec I've never done this before
>>27347570
1 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/15714689/
2 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/15809561/
3 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/15905493/
4 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/15993073/
5 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/16130720/
6 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/16246841/
7 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/16379525/
8 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/16501328/
9 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/16610392/
10 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/16662074/
11 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/16772586/
12 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/16868468/
13 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/16979374/
14 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17077404/
15 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17165620/
16 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17236861/
17 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17353012/
18 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17432909/
19 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17542878/
20 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17622856/
21 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17721007/
22 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17846420/
23 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/17939772/
24 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18016936/
25 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18110396/
26 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18243130/
27 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18317690/
28 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18413021
29 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18481892
30 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18584132
30.5 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18593663/
31 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18666146/
32 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18726218/
33 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18808995/
34 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/18917077/
35 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/19037167/
36 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/19139609/
37 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/19224385/
38 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/19310984/
39 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/19418937/
40 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/19541053/
41 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/19662234/
42 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/19775771/
43 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/19893243/
44 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20044646/
45 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20179745/
46 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20296634/
47 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20365095/
48 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20453513/
49 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20580492/
50 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20667911/
51 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20740272/
52 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20855918/
53 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/20948915/
54 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21045744/
55 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21159397/
56 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21278151/
57 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21405993/
58 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21510114/
59 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21619890/
60 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21715642/
61 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21858107/
62 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/21945390/
63 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22007346/
64 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22086019/
65 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22152409/
66 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22223659/
67 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22274618/
68 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22337892/
69 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22395817/
70 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22458614/
71 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22571091/
72 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22651546/
73 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22736626/
74 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22828938/
75 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22908818/
76 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22963669/
77 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23030892/
78 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23102420/
79 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23200765/
80 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23282365/
81 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23369224/
82 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23443675/
83 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23520799/
84 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23581564/
85 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23656624/
86 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23764354/
87 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23878745/
88 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/23973977/
89 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24059974/
90 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24160401/
91 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24245691/
92 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24333335/
93 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24423649/
94 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24476469/
95 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24523227/
96 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24574722/
97 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24626415/
98 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24690967/
99 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24759374/
100 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24814923/
101 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24894930/
102 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/24958159/
103 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25046878/
104 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25132701/
105 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25222467/
106 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25301100/
107 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25385359/
108 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25460161/
109 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25529408/
110 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25616096/
111 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25673487/
112 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25717170/
113 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25779356/
114 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25832901/
115 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25893943/
116 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/25941085/
117 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26008453/
118 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26066966/
119 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26124883/
120 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26194825/
121 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26278593/
122 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26346142/
123 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26411050/
124 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26477997/
125 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26540512/
126 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26606754/
127 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26679572/
128 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26739492/
129 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26795242/
130 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26851945/
130.5 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26904000/
131 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/26966812
132 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/27045491
133 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/27091818
134 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/27136045
135 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/27192560
136 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/27243315
137 desustorage.org/mlp/thread/27268873
Here is full archive of the stories in condensed, easy-to-read form with all chatter in-between removed.
Check out the pastebin here:
http://pastebin.com/u/PrincessApplejack
Curious what happened last time?
Check out the previous thread here:https://desustorage.org/mlp/thread/27268873
You are completely new and have no idea what is going on? There is a wikia with an overview of all characters, a complete timeline, previous thread recaps and explanation of the various concepts used in these stories!
Check out the wiki here:http://princess-aj.wikia.com/wiki/Princess_Applejack_Wiki
Confused about when a character first showed up or who they are? Want to know when an arc started?
Check out character notes and details here :
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1PsMAwLcIdC3IYxezAV9Ko4neEguNvc3eQqQqiTCxdDs/edit#gid=2119378650
Check out the 'Princess Applejack: Re-Cut Edition' here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/15cv3kqExr_vOM0JkUh4dqnvVKxJ5Z-P1KHwE8Z7aG0k/edit?usp=sharing
And finally, while most of the thread is very much clop free, we have a pastebin in case you're feeling a little more naughty with your writing, find it here. http://pastebin.com/u/PrincessAJAfterDark please upload any like it to a pastebin so they can be added out of thread.
And above all else, enjoy your stay at /paj/!
(Real) first for sexy hooves!
>>27347739
Good job, bit of a rough start, but you were a fine standin.
>>27347779
Awww, well second for Applelion.
so that was completely fucked
but hey, I did something for the general! I've never done that before!
NC
>Potsticker
“56”
~~~
>No no no! You can’t eat udon like that, you have to-
“Hey, bosslady?”
>Do not interrupt me when I am speaking of culinary greatness!
“I was just wondering, you think we’re missing anything?”
>Obviously not, or someone would have gotten us!
“Isn’t the recroom hidden, though?”
>They’d find us if they were determined enough, now hole the sticks like this!
“…I don’t want to criticize, but holding chopsticks with a hoof seems dumb-“
>That’s what the tape is for, duh!
“But why don’t I just use holes in my legs?”
>…Cheap ass changelings.
>>27347943
>...Cheap ass changelings
HA
I don't know why this is NC
>>27347943
She is so fired.
I ran into this and I'd like to request this as the next thread OP.
https://derpibooru.org/1029608?scope=scpe70f4571887cc2ae789de738e2553f54b81d3c02f
>>27348009
Her ass would literally be grass.
Lulu does it old school.
>Idris
“Cheese’
~~~
>Oh, blast! It looks like the way up to Canterlot is blocked again, it looks like I’ll be waiting longer still.
“Can’t you just fly-“
>I’m so worried, but I suppose it’s a bit silly, since my wife clearly has a GIANT FUCKING TRANSFORMING AIRSHIP SHE CAN USE! DIDN’T TELL ME, BUT HEY! THAT JUST MAKES THE SURPRISE ALL THE MORE FUN! LOOK AT MY SURPRISE FACE! ISN’T IT A DARLING OF SURPRISE!? I MUST LOOK LIKE A CHILD ON GIFT DAY!
“Ah. This makes things clearer.”
>SO GLAD I DIDN’T GET ONE OF THOSE! I JUST WOULDN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT!
“Loud.”
>AND ALL THOSE COOL FEATURES WOULD JUST OVERLOAD MY POOR MIND! WHY, I WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO HANDLE IT! THANK YOU HONEY FOR SAVING ME FROM HAVING TO DO THAT!
“So, I guess getting a lift up there is out of the question?”
>GAHHHHAHAHHHHHH!
“...At least I’m seen again…”
>>27348213
>>27348213
Holy shit they're alive!
OOCO/NC/Whatevs
>Twilight
"AJ"
'???'
"Hey Twi, got yer hayburgers here."
>Hm? Oh thanks, Applejack, just set them on the desk there. Wait, why are you running food around?
"Eh, Ah was gettin' mahself a slice of Apple Cider Cake and the cooks asked me to run them down to ya. They uh...they're a bit leery of ya since that business with the-"
>My Frybot 9000 only achieved sentience ONCE, those guys can hold such a grudge.
"Riiiight, now ah don't wanna pry, Twi, but what exactly are ya doin' on yer console there?"
>Hm? Oh I was running a diagnostic on my system-it's been a bit sluggish lately-and stumbled across an old project of mine.
"What kinda project? Like Harmony Prime?"
>Huh? Oh no no, nothing big as that just a...comprehensive geopolitical simulation of politics, technology, and war.
"...just that, huh?"
>Yes. I left it incomplete, sometime after Chitania's rampage and before my little...episode.
"An' it's been running this whole time?"
>Yep, it's simulated about-let me check here-five thousand years of Equestrian history starting from you bringing the changelings into the ballroom.
"That right, so how's the world look then?"
>Uhm...
"Well?"
>I'll just show you...*Spoiler Pic Here*
"..."
>I may have oversimplified certain personalities when I was initially coding the AI.
"..."
>Before you ask, the thing that made Equestria an arid burnt out hellhole was not a race war.
"Well that's good to know-"
>It was over the last slice of cake in the world.
"..."
>I never said I perfected this.
"YA MANIACS, YA BLEW IT UP! YA BLEW IT ALL UP! DAMN YA! DAMN YA ALL TA HELL!
'YOU CAN PROVE NOTHING, MAREVELOUS!'
>"..."
'...I'm telling Shiny you cursed. AHAHAHAHAHA!'
>>27348453
It begins!
>>27347806
Gold Star.
>>27348453
>the Maney bit at the end
Brilliant,
>>27348453
Little shit like that is why I am happy we nixed the 'make her self aware' plot.
>>27348591
I always liked the 'make PD more comic book' too.
Just fits to go more silly, not less.
>>27348453
"Twi, Ah cain't help but notice there's lights on that planet."
>Yes, actually, the place is still quite inhabited.
"So Ah guess ponies survived the Cakepocalypse?"
>Define ponies.
"...aw Faust damn it, are you about to tell me-?"*Spoiler Pic 2: Electric Boogaloo*
>Nice to see Rekulk's family doing well for themselves.
"HOW!?"
>My guess is them all living underground spared them from what was going on topside. From what I've been able to piece together in the interim years, they managed to come up from underground and develop their own society.
"...Welp the meek shall inherit, ah guess. Don't explain how'n the high hell they managed to cover the entire planet with big glowing cities, though."
>You think that's crazy, wait 'til you see the spaceships.
"THE WHAT?!"
>>27348591
Y'know I once had an idea for a gag with herduring Nightmare Night, someone dresses up as a character from a rival comic company and she literally couldn't see them.
>>27348766
>Aj quoting the bible
It fits, but it's so weird.
>>27348925
Do they even have a bible of any sort?
Where else could they get that quote from?
>>27348940
>Hi. My name is Sunset Shimmer, Christianity was one of the things I've told some ponies about. And no, not in the meme way. Now if they didn't listen to me, Twilight spent a good deal of time between AJ's ascension and my arrival grabbing shit from the human world for shits and giggles or to advance pony tech.
>>27349024
>Christianity
>Advancement
DO YOU EVEN DARK AGES SON!?
>>27349065
OR not AND
I'm aware of religion and science not being friends, I'm also aware that the Church of Faust could be a thing. But I do know that Shimmer reference Christianity more than once
>Cloudchaser
“Derpy”
~~~~~
>Is that cloud on fire?
“Yes. Yes it is.”
>…
“…”
>This is the part where you say you don’t know what went wrong.
“But I do know why it’s happening!”
>Okay… why?
“Because it’s a gas cloud!”
>…I’ve got nothing.
>>27349106
There was even a discussion from her on why so many ponies said 'hell'
>>27349315
tartarus takes up more space, is not in OUR vernacular, and since it is a visit-able place, not a hell equivalent to ponies.
>>27349337
We know why WE say it, we just poke fun at ourselves.
>>27349252
...didn't see that coming.
>>27347570
>Seeing an OP you didn't make
It's giving me Scruffening flashbacks.
>>27349648
Wait, besides this and the thread used as a bunker, when was the last time you didn't make the thread.
>>27349687
Uhhhhh... shit, I'm honestly trying to remember.
Thread 100, because the OG phrase poster guy wanted to do it?
Right, I did forget something.
Pinkie Preview Prophecies
>While Applejack investigates, Rarity airhoofs on reflex!
>Fluttershy finds her chickens stripping!
>Berry Punch is really creative with her bottles.
>Octavia rocks on with a flamethrower cello and rides on Vinyl's speakers.
>Flitter also works on her glutes.
>Pennydrop is suddenly distrustful of Gwen when she mentions she's not big on coffee.
>Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon didn't even notice the CMC was gone, but oddly enough they congratulate them.
>and of course puppet fanservice!
>>27348786
NC
>AHHHHAHAHA! Myyyy, what a STRANGE Superhero you are!... Battlemare? Huh, I've never heard of... what's that rumbling noise?...Why are there a bunch of lawyers coming towards me?... I DON'T UNDERSTANNNNNDDDDD!
>>27350077
>Pennydrop just knows.
>>27348057
I'm not sure if that's brilliant or terrible foreshadowing.
>>27347779
WINNAR
>>27350429
>Now, Equestria shall be mine!
"ALL YOURS!"
CHUCK!
RUN!
>...Shoot, wait. Think Ah' got screwed on this one.
>>27350750
It's like if scar had inherited The Pride lands in reverse.
Ahhhh, new thread smell. Gooya love it.
>>27351108
Mhmm yeah
>>27351108
Speaking of,they forgot to say goodnight
How rude.
>>27352298
I'm too busy making MOAR! locks to say goodnight. I have to say my first attempt since forever gave me an slightly ugly yet strangely charming one. It was a prelim for the a Spacelocks but yeah, its going gooda.
>>27347943
Oh Mourning Star... you goof, you.
>>27352684
I love that terrible name
>>27352319
Yes, need space cave ponenuts
>>27350847
>Everything the light touches is your kingdom... And it's pretty much all fucked.
So much regret... So much that I'm considering a redo. I feel that I have too now. Hmm... maybe if I mash the two together.
>>27354177
Nice ambiguity, faggot
>>27354271
It is more than likely Schmoe, who likes to be vague when they tell us they're working on something.
>>27354317
Correctamundo! Ever since I saw the 'Chitty' pic at the end of last thread I feel like I should have made the new armor look more like that. I really wanna, all the sketches I've done since give me goosebumps!
>>27354271
Nice asshat, ya bundle.
>Lucky
“QS”
‘SG’
~~~
>Sweep, soldiers, sweep! Sweep like you mean it!
“We’re sweeping, we’re sweeping.”
‘Canterlot’s finest, relegated to cleaning up rubble, everyone.’
>Silence, solider! Two things! One, this is the scene of the crime, you are collecting evidence now that the investigators have done a thorough sweep! We’re going to find answers here if it kills us! And Two!... Canterlot’s finest? Really? We’re not even in the B class. I’m pretty sure that damn filly with the rocket launcher isn’t A class anymore.
‘Hurtful!’
“What information are we going to find in restaurant wreckage anyway?”
>That’s for the braintrust to figure out!
‘AKA, we have no idea.’
>If that’s not enough for you, remember! This is for the safety of the citizens as well! It’s about making sure nobody steps on a broken piece of wood, or cuts themselves on dirty glass, or inhales toxic fumes, or a metal chunk falls on them, or-
CRUMBLE!
“AHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhh….”
>…Or falls through a hole in the floor of the city itself. See? Safety!
‘…’
>Wait.
>”OH SHIT!’
>AJ
>Fuck all y'all Ah was the best ghost outta the lot of 'em
>>27355461
>inb4 this is the last time we ever see him
>>27355472
I actually agree.
>>27356246
You just say that because she was the cutest.
>>27355472
Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"AJ"
~~~~
>Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your hosts the Pink Pony Club! It's during this time that content does matter, but it's time to warm the hearts with spirits! Now for our main guest....APPLEJACK!!!
"Howdy"
>So you think you were the best hearth's warming spirit eh?
"Of course. Ah' had the best song obviously. Ah'm not big on fancy outfits or anything, but Ah' was just the best dressed out of us all."
>But I had the best tap dancing routine and the best message! Hearth's Warming is about being with your friends...and we're friends forEVER Ever Ever.
"Yeah, but Ah'-"
>Ever ever ever.
"Okay, stop."
>Ever...ever...ever.
"Is there an off switch on you or-"
AJ wakes up and finds Luna whispering in her ear.
'Ever...ever...ever'
"...why are you doing that?"
'Pinkie asked us to for some reason. We must sleep now, so have a nice day, Applejack. '
Luna walks out.
>...Ah' bet she's just bitter she had to essentially play Death.
>>27357169
You'd be bitter too!
OOCO
>SA
“Chrysalis”
‘Cadence’
~Celestia~
(18)
{42}
-Spitfire-
~~~~
>So, what movie are we watching today, Eighteen?
(Oh, you’ll love this! It’s the story of a stallion who is torn between choosing two mares, and who he should be with. It has a very happy ending, so I’ve heard.)
~Subtle!~
(My choice, my movie!)
{Even I’m more subtle than this.}
-Oh yeah, we could hardly tell you want to get plowed by Shining with your face buried in Cadence at this moment.-
{See?...wait…}
~And three, two…~
{NGH!}
“Time of death, fuck o’ clock.”
(Stop interrupting my movie by making my best friend fizzle out!)
“I agree, let us join together and see the wonderful benefits of a shared relationship.”
‘This isn’t really equivalent, though.’
~Why’s that?~
‘Cause this is my Shiny, he’s not torn between me and another mare. I won that race already, and I’ve been up on that podium so long my legs hurt.’
>She’s right you know. I am, in fact, her Shiny.
-BOOM!-
(Just watch the freaking movie! I want to see some threesome action-)
~~~~
>…
“…”
‘…’
~…~
{…}
(…I did not expect this outcome.)
-At least it was a nice boat.-
>>27357436
ah dun get it
>>27357436
Damn, haven't seen that refernce in forever!
>>27357169
Side note, my 4 horseman thing is starting to sound more plausible.
>>27357436
If it's referencing what I think it is, then I had a good chuckle.
I'd like to believe that Cadence is the Kotonoha of the group. It really was a nice boat though.
>CloudChaser
“Derpy”
‘Lyra’
~~~~
>LYRA! How’s that magical storm coming?
“And can you make it a little darker than normal? We want it to pop.”
‘It’s… coming? What do you think?’
>Er, not to knock your creativity or anything, but that looks like pillow fluff you painted black.
‘I’m glad my art is recognizable!’
“Good job!”
>No! Not good job! We wanted a magical storm!
‘Right, I’m making it, with the magic of art!’
>WE WANTED REAL MAGIC!
‘…To make a cloud?’
>YES!
‘Ohhh. I can’t do that, why did you think I could do that?’
>I thought you said you were from Canterlot! You were friends with Twilight Sparkle!
“You’ve got credentials!”
‘What the heck makes you think that being from Canterlot means I’m good at magic?’
>Because you’re a unicorn!
‘RACIST!’
“That technically is racist, but sub-racist, cause we’re all ponies.”
‘Shut up, miss GRE!Y!’
“….You shut your dirty mint colored mouth.”
‘HOW DARE YOU! At least I’m not a horse buzzard!’
>Better than a dickhead!
‘RACIST!’
>…
‘I… I think!’
>…
‘That’s it, I’m taking my cloud and I’m going home! HMM!’
STOMPSTOMPSTOMpstompstomp
>…You made poor hiring choices.
“I didn’t-“
>PERFECT RECORD!
>>27357978
Where this subplot came from, I have no idea.
But I love it.
>>27358225
Derpy is that good at sex.
>JJ
“Acty”
‘32’
~~~~
>This is stupid.
“I know, but I have to look like I’m trying.”
>You’re sitting on a tiny upturned box in the middle of rubble, filling out papers.
‘If it’s too small, you can have my seat.’
>But then were would you sit?
‘Me and him can share!’
>What? But then the seat your on would be too small.
“And how would you work?”
‘Well, clearly I’ll just sit in your lap.’
“…but then how would I work?”
‘Reach around, obviously. Come now, you’ve never done that with him?’
>Pffft, no, that’s stupid.
“Yeah, JJ just ducks down forwards. He goes pretty low, but we make it work.”
‘…You are doing this on purpose.’
>What?
‘FUCKING!’
“Ohhh, step on a nail, boss?”
>You know what? I’m not going to be snarky, I sympathize. I swear up a storm when I get stuck wrong like that.
“It’s true, he squeals. Makes me freeze up and panic.”
‘GAAHHHHHH!’
>Poor guy.
>>27358868
They fucking have to know.
>>27357468
School Days.
>>27359039
If you did, would you tell?
>>27359214
Wait....which one is which?
>PJ
“Haymaker”
‘Blueblood’
~~
>Feel my spuddy wrraaaaatthhhh!
‘MMF!’
“I tried to stop her, really.”
>Steal my chance at glory, will you!?
‘MMMFFF!’
>I could’ve been in the awesome team of awesomeness, but noooo! This was my in to the A-team, jackass! Could have totally finally joined!
“Wait, aren’t you A-team already?”
>What? No, I’m in the gunclub.
“Is that not the same thing?”
>Pffft, no! The A-team is a government funded team with a whole lot of cool toys, cool missions, and a license to kill!
“That does not sound like something we should be funding.”
>The Gunclub is a club… where we like weapons.
“Not guns?”
>Not guns specifically. In fact, only two of us use guns. Out of six.
‘Mmff?’
>Yeah, it’s a little biased. Also, we haven’t had an actual meeting in forever. So I don’t know if that’s still a thing.
“Huh. What a shame.”
>…Where was I?
“Shoving spuds in Blueblood’s mouth to punish him.”
>Oh, right!
‘HHMMGM!’
“She asked.”
‘HMMGGMGMMG!’
>>27359595
To be fair, the only funding is to spike.
>>27359595
The dumb meme kind of killed the club dead, huh?
>>27359839
More like DT gettin kicked off the A-team.
>>27359947
That was kinda the nexus of it, not helped by the fact a lot of anons had tar problem in the story of not being able to tell the difference. When that happened, it was post party land and 42 had pretty much stopped hanging out with the others, and 77 hasn't been relevant in a whole lotta threads.
Lots if factors..
>>27359839
It wasn't dumb, its just that when everyone decided lets not kill her but make her a good guy, I made sure to say something around the lines of...
"I'm just letting you guys know right now that, if you put Chitania in the gunclub, I'm jumping ship."
Cause that's what we had been doing with pretty much everyone... You have a weapon? Gunclub. You have a tendency for destruction? Gunclub. You sometimes morally ambiguous? Gunclub. YOU HAVE AN EDGE LIKE A RAAAAAAAZOR BLA~DE!? GUUUUUUNCLUB!!!
Everyone cringed and it made everyone one take a good haaaaaaard look at it. From there is just began to rapidly loose its appeal and begin to die.
It had to be said, it was done for the good of us all, I just never intended it to straight up kill it.
>>27359993
Spikes plummeted relevance certainly didn't help.
>>27359839
I still carry a grudge against the guy who made a fuss and created that meme.
>>27359947
Also I'm still angry at both AJ and the writer for doing that. I was using DT in partyland to keep the A-team together or at the very least plant seeds for more adventures with them. Having DT removed was one of the biggest toe steps I had in the thread.
>>27360144
Is this the guy you're talking about >>27360050 cause that actually seems like a legitimate reason to cause a fuss.
>Cloudchaser
“Derpy”
‘???’
~~~
>Alright, back to working! Me and you are going to get into it, and we’re going to get into it hard! GLUTE BRUTE!
“…”
>It’s hard to rhyme words with Glute that mean exploding.
“Shoot the glute?”
>You shut your filthy mouth. If I hear that from you again, I will shove a Faustdamned rabid raccoon down your throat and watch you choke to death on the disease ridden animal clawing out your organs.”
“Okay… Why are we working our glutes anyway.”
‘BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT A CHAMPION DOES!’
>GASP! YOU!
‘That’s right! Surprised to see me here… SISTER!?’
>GAAASSPP!
“…Why are you looking at me?”
‘Are you actually looking at me?’
“Yeah, why?”
‘…I’ve got nothing. But yes, strange mare, I AM HER SISTER!’
>GASSSPPPP!
“Is… is that… I don’t… what am I supposed to say to that? What’s the reaction you are looking for?”
>What do you want, sister!?
‘What do I want? I simply want… to BE THE GREATEST WEATHER CAPTAIN EVER!’
>GASP!
‘Cloudsdale, specificall!’
>Oh… good luck with that!
‘Thanks! Want to work out together?’
>Do I!?
‘You want to come, strange grey mare?’
“…Sure!”
‘Lets see you… work those gluetes.’
“…”
‘Slowly.’
“…I like meeting new ponies.”
Anon from >>27360144
>>27360050
Why you little green dick, a simple let's not put Chitania in the gunclub because it's crowded already would have surfice not a full blown meme that gets brought up even today!
>>27360050
I think it's an exaggeration that it made us cringe or something, but it might have been one of the many factors, sure.
>>27360251
Oh sod off will you
We've got enough wanton destruction in this thread enough as is without making an exclusive club out of it
Let the gun club meme fucking die
>>27360336
Not him, but the GC meme's been dead for a minute, like the real GC. So I reckon we can bring it back to it's standard level of use.
>>27360336
You should totally write a gun club story to spite that guy.
Or a lot of gc stories.
Do it, let the anger flow through your fingers!
>>27360415
No he's the one who wants it to die because 'Fuck you, write what *I* want'.
>Fluttershy
“???”
~~
>Oh… oh dear…
Every second she spent looking out over the wreckage was a second her heart was breaking.
>What happened around here?
“Oh, gashtly thing, that crazy changeling has gone and done it again! Can always count on her for a bit of chaos, no?”
She spun, face pointed squarely towards the reverse pop sounding noise that had signaled his arrival.
Discord had made his entrance, and every second he spent stuffing popcorn into his bag was filled with smiles.
>Who did this?
“Wasn’t I clear? Chitania dear, Chitania.”
>What?... Why?
“To get out of a bet, most likely.”
>What!?
“Kidding! Just kidding, of course.”
She bopped him on the head, his lanky flight wavering for just a second in the aftermath.
>This is serious, Discord!
“Actually? Not really. Sure, it looks quite unsettling to you normal ponies, but it’s not like there were any deaths or anything, because we can’t have that without going full teenage poetry.”
>What!?
“You know what I mean. There were no fatalities… just one changeling out on the run, and under my radar. Oh ho, there will be words when I figure out how she did this.”
The words became dangerous, but Fluttershy couldn’t pay attention to any of them.
>Everyone’s okay?
“…well, I say okay, but-“
Time and space folded in on itself, and she was gone.
“Oh fine, it’s not like I wanted to talk anyway. I have my own things to do, after all…”
>>27360168
This got weird fast.
>>27360859
/pa/ in a nutshell.
>>27360336
Fuck you, /pa/l. Gun club fun was one of the things that kept me going and one of the things that kept me writing for Spike and making him relevant. The gun club deserves to live no matter what you say!
>>27360415
You know what? Yeah, I'll cave into my anger for this.
OoCO
>Spike
"DT"
'SilverS'
[PJ]
~~~~
Spike walks into the club room and sees DT, PJ, and Silver Spoon drinking soda.
>Oh the sodas got restocked?
"Yeah, want to join us?"
>Sure.
Spike lines up and opens a can. He takes a good sip.
>Ahh...yep.
"Yup."
'Eeeyup.'
[Mmmhmm.]
"Do you think my bullet sculpture made of bullets could sell high at an art sale?"
[Mrmamgmph? Mrmamphm.]
'Yeah, I thought you liked that thing.'
"I do, but do you think it'd be artsy enough that someone would buy it?"
>I'm going to be blunt, DT. It's a bunch a bullets glued together. I don't think it's going to be considered art.
"You just don't understand my art, Spike! It deserves to be praised as the high quality art that it is!"
'If you ran out of bullets, would you end up gutting it for more?'
"Run...out...of bullets?...I don't understand what you're talking about."
>Charity has magic bullets if she runs out of physical bullets.
[Mrmmrmemph.]
"No one wants to hear about your bulletless swords, PJ. Besides, I glued it together pretty well. It's going to last a hundred years."
DT gives it a few taps and it falls apart.
"...*GAAAASP*"
'...we should leave.'
>Why?
'She now has 25,000 bullets in front of her.'
[Mrghng.]
>Okay point taken.
~Next Day~
Spike reads a newspaper that mentions shots fired at an art gallery. He shakes his head.
>She definitely has the artist anguish.
>>27361056
Nice.
>muffled PJ
Forgot how much I liked her that way, too.
OoCO
>42
"77"
'DT'
[PJ]
~~~~
>Yes...yeeees...YES!
"...what are you doing with Spike's balls?"
>It wasn't easy, but I can now roll Spike's baoding balls in my hooves.
"What? You're kidding me."
>Believe it.
42 rolls Spike's balls in her hoof.
>Spike's balls are practically putty in my hooves.
[Mrmmrm?]
'Yeah, what are you talking about?'
>I'm playing with Spike's blue balls of steel.
'Oh, the Baoding balls from the rescue. I forgot about those. Does his balls feel good?'
>Spike has a great pair of balls and I just loving fondling them.
Snickers all around.
"She practically mastered Spike's balls."
'Do want to rub his balls sometimes?'
>I've been rubbing his balls together for a while now. I hope I don't wear his balls out.
[Mrmamphmm? Mmph mmph mhmmph.]
"Oh wow, really PJ?"
'Geez, you ruined the joke.'
>and we were on a roll too. Way to be a buzzkill, PJ.
"That was completely inappropriate."
42, 77, and DT shake their heads and walk away.
[*gulps*...but I thought it was funny! W-wait!]
>>27361314
>read about halfway
>start laughing like a retard
Holy shit I forgot allllll about Spike's balls!
OoCO
>77
"42"
'DT'
[Spike]
~~~~
The gun club members stand in a line drinking soda.
>Yup
"Yurp"
'Eeeyup.'
[Mmhmm.]
>I can't believe I'm going to be a married. I didn't think I'd settle down.
"That reminds me. Have you decided who was going to plan your bachelor's party?"
>No, why? Did you want to plan it?
"If you're offering. Yeah, I think I would be the mare to plan your bachelor party."
>...Hmmm.
~~~~~~
"And you get a punch! And you get a punch! AND YOU GET A SPECIAL PUNCH! PUNCHES FOR EVERYPONY!"
~~~~~~
>...yeah no.
"That is a gross exaggeration and it wouldn't end up that way...most of the time."
'Clearly, I'm the one who should plan his bachelor's party.'
>....
~~~~~~~
'And you get a rocket! And you get a rocket! AND YOU GET A SPECIAL ROCKET! ROCKETS FOR EVERYPONY!'
~~~~~~~
>...I don't think so, poppet.
'Hey, I think your party deserves a bang. Giving everypony a rocket would result in fun for everypony.'
>...you didn't even try to deny it.
[What about me? I planned Shining Armor's Bachelor party. I've got the experience.]
>...hmmm.
~~~~~~
[You rolled a 15. The stripper gives you a smile when you spanked her. She starts to rubs herself over your crotch.]
~~~~~~
>...Eh lesser of 3 evils. Congratulations, Spike. You're my bachelor party planner.
[WOOHOO!]
"WHAT!?!"
'GENDER BIAS!'
"Completely sexist."
>Do you want to be invited to my wedding or not?
"'...retracted.'"
>>27361561
>Spike is an ERPer
oh god
what have we done to him
>>27361561
Spot on 42.
>>27361561
I'd've gone with Spike, too. ERP-themed wedding, hell yeah.
>Daw
>Oi, what about me?
"What about you?"
>...point.
>Honeyheart
“Jetset”
‘???’
~~~
>Honestly, Jetters? When you popped up outta nowhere like that, all secret agent-ish and whatnot, gotta say, was not expecting this.
‘Pass the butter, Jetset?’
“Delighted to.”
>This? Totally did not expect it.
“Some for you too, Honey?”
>You bet your cute rear-end I- wait... di-did you juh-just call me-
“Sorry, did I offend? Forgive me for shortening your name without asking permission first.”
>NO! No, no, it’s… it’s fine! Totally fine, actually! I’ll be your Honey, I don’t mind….
‘I agree with ya, Double-H. I thought your boycolt here was gonna punch my head off or… or whatever it is agents do.’
“Such senseless brutality. If anything, I’d have simply teleported you into the clouds and let you drop. Effortless, no blood on my hooves.”
>…
‘…’
“But no, this lunch is to show my appreciation, for keeping Honey here safe.”
>Ha, lunch, he says… rentin' out all of Horte’s Café like it ain’t nothin’. You know I used to dream about bein’ able to eat here? And now I am, bib and all…
‘Me too, sister. I mean, honestly speaking, I didn’t really do anything.'
“Well, it’s either reward you for keeping my nurse friend ‘safe’ or take you sky-diving sans the chute for your thigh remarks. I’m good with either but while you debate over your choices, my pasta primavera is getting cold.”
‘…Pass the shredded cheese?’
“A pleasure.”
>This has been a very weird, very enjoyable day thus far.
>>27361765
Awww...nobody wanted you in the Gun Club anyway.
>Chitty
“???”
~~~
“SQUEAK!”
>Don’t you yell at me, I was hungry.
“SQUEAK!”
>Yes, I was that desperate, I actually sapped the love from a duck.
“SQUEAK!”
>No regrets, you hear me? None. I have no regrets! I feed as I wish, I take as I wish! I am.. wait, do ducks squeak?
“SQUEAK!”
>…I’m talking to a rubber ducky, aren’t I?
“SQUEAK!”
>Which means I drained love from a rubber duck… or thought I did …
“SQUEAK!”
>I might be in trouble.
>>27361817
>>This has been a very weird, very enjoyable day thus far.
Awww, she's a cutie.
Like a less in your face Sweet Note.
>>27361561
See, that's how you should react when people say they don't like a thing.
Do the thing, but funny.
>>27362172
>She's gone full bonkers
Yes.
>>27362631
Hunger hallucinations, poor Buggy McGodkiller
>Chitania
"???"
~~~
>...Oh dear Hivemind! I know when it all went wrong!
"What did you do, chiiiitttyyyy?"
>It's so obvious! I know exactly what I should have done instead!
"What was thaaat?"
>I SHOULD HAVE EATEN CHINEIGHES INSTEAD!
"...That seems duuumb."
>Shut up, you're just me with a slowed down voice!
"So then you know it's duuuumb."
>...I might have gotten in over my head with this one.
>>27362915
That's what you get for being a Chigger.
Stop it.
You can stop it.
Literally, just stop being it. You are literally the only species who can do that.
The post above mine is a Chigger, don't trust him.
>>27361561
>[What about me? I planned Shining Armor's Bachelor party. I've got the experience.]
NC
~SA~
~~~~
~Wait, you what!?~
[Totally planned it.]
~But... I never got a bachelor party!~
[I never said it happened, just that I planned to do it.]
~...~
[Oh, fine. Go marry one of the other mares and I'll plan that one.]
~How offensive! Like I would marry someone just for-~
[It will involve OnO.]
~...EIGHTEEN! COME HERE~
>>27363611
He'd do it too. You know he would.
Trixie is best pony. She can even out banjo Applejack.
>>27348766
"Alright, now Ah admit, Ah ain't as scientifically minded as ya, Twi, but how the heck did the Morlocks get ta bein' doggone space aliens? They don't even look the same anymore, and ta top it all off they're prancin' around in the daylight when last time Ah checked they melted inta some kinda goo if so much as the morning sun touched their skin."
>Well I mean, artifacts of our civilization were probably left from the-wow, the system even called it the 'Cake War', that's thorough. But yes, they could have built off what we left behind and a combination of evolution/adaptation with a sprinkling of magic runoff from literally every single nigh on godly powerful being unleashing spells on the planet and well...you get two-legged space pony mutants.
In the distance a cry can be heard.
'Fucking furriiieeeeeesssss!'
"...did ya'll just hear Sunset?"
>No, why?
"So okay, they got these three ships here and that phallic symbol in the background, anything else ya wanna blow my mind with?"
>Well actually there's six ships. These are just the military vessels according to my readouts, they also have two ships for exploration and another for exploiting planetary resources.
"Ah just...Ah don't...get it. I mean the Morlocks're good folk from the three or so Ah've met personally but nothin' about 'em ever struck me as capable of building a grain silo, let alone a space empire."
>Well...would you like to get the story from the horse's mouth, so to speak?
"Do what now?"
Twilight nods towards the simulator.
>I can load up the program in the simulator there, we can talk to any one of them we'd like.
"Hmm...fine then. Fire up the Danger Room-"
>Grrr...
"Still don't like that name, huh? Ok, the Subspace Thingamajigger."
>Thank you.
>>27364294
>'Fucking furriiieeeeeesssss!'
>"...did ya'll just hear Sunset?"
>>No, why?
It must be done now... I must have Sunset the Red.
>>27364294
Bwoop!
Our two heroes find themselves standing in a sprawling garden, surrounded by strange plants. Some bear fruit, others are flowers, yet all seem a far cry from the kind they're used to...
>Huh.
"Didn't expect this."
>Neither did I.
"Dry rocky hellscape...nice little garden. Y'know this is nice, Ah think Ah can-no. Way."
>Huh?
Applejack glares behind Twilight's shoulder. Twi follows her gaze over to where a very large fruit is hanging from a tree. A familiar kind of fruit.
"Ha! Well don't that just beat all?"
>Sure does, Chrysalis.
"Huh? Aw shush it. Right here is a genuine apple, after the weird ass cakepocalypse! Apple's're survivors, a hardy fruit! Ah think ah'll have me a taste..."
>Applejack, are you sure that's a good idea-?
Buck!
Plop.
Chomp!
"EUGH!"
>...what's uh...what's the matter.
"This don't taste like an apple at all!"
>Oh no, Applejack, what's it taste like?
"A doggone raspberry!"
>...seriously?
Ka-chuck!
"Ya dead ta me, false-apple!"
Bonk!
'Oof!'
>...
"...uh oh."
The two ponies peer behind the tree AJ had callously thrown the vila Raspapple past to find one of the peculiar Morlocks on the ground, rubbing his head.
'What a peculiarity, for such a suddenness of strikes...'
The Morlock inspects the fruit that hit him.
'Oho and aha, little tart, is this punishment? Did I prove too lazy of harvesting? Or did you just have an impatience for being food? Ho ho, I have no blame for you, a fruit so delicious, you could wait no longer to be tasted!'
"...well the talkin' didn't get no better."
'But hm, already you've been bitten from. Has a nest of Flutterbugs encroached on my garden again?'
>Uhm, no, I'm afraid that was my friend here.
The Morlock stands up, inspecting where the voice came from.
'Truly? Then come out, if you regret, I shall bring you no harm. All are welcome, for this bounty is the bounty of all.'
"Well iffin' ya insist."
'...'
>...hi.
Night thread...
>>27364556
She is either in heaven or hell.
>>27364905
You mean good morning!
>>27363751
In time, it will happen. Just wait, in time
>10
{BBB}
~~~~
>Annnd, done. Published!
{BZZT! Friend 10, is it wise to include that one subarticle?}
>What, you mean where the princess had to choose between saving the airship and her subjects?
{AFFIRMATIVE.}
>Now, why would there be a problem there? It's not like the princesses would blow up a changeling or anything.
{...BZZT.}
>Gotta do it, BBB. You know what I said, like it is, not how they want it to be. I'm not holding back ever again.
{...BZZT. Very well. Inquiry, would friend 10 be honest with this unit if the situation involved us?}
>Of course!
{Good. Then for the record, I will only ever try to cut off a pony's head in the event of Friend 10 in mortal danger.}
>...She can use lasers, BBB.
{So can this unit!}
>She'd totally beat ya'.
{Analyzing... analyzing... affirmative.}
>...
{Statement unchanged.}
>Heh... yeah, love you too, big guy.
{The sentiment is shared bug girl.}
>Ha ha! Clever! I like that... so, ready to make some more enemies?
{BZZT!}
>That's what I love to hear.
>>27364556
Just gonna ask real quick, anything need to be changed with the SpaceLock speech pattern here? I didn't want them to just speak normally but at the same time I didn't think they'd be full caveman still so I kind of settled on this weird sort of verbose meandering speech.
>>27367065
They seem fine to me. Little weird, but unique.
>>27367065
It takes some getting used to, but it does make them seem more alien.
I'd say stick with it.
Reminder that it has been almost 9 months since the pastebin has been updated on this frankly amazing collaboration.
So /pa/ls of mine a few threads ago I asked for some critique on my 'Anthropomorphic' Ponies, cause I think I have one that isn't too FUCKING FURRRRRY!, and I was wondering if you'd take another look and comment. I'm hoping a few of you will be able to help again.http://i.imgur.com/NSawitk.png
Also, now that that's out of the way... Lets talk Lock! Moar Locks! I'm wondering what sort of improvements I could make now that they've learned a bunch. I remember the first prototype I made and he was all ugh and ly plus an overall dirty creature. I'm thinking I could make them look more... clean at least, no more of those matted down greasy locks and something more akin to alpaca floof.
Whatcha think?
>>27367392
Really liking this model a lot more. It's more cartoony, less furry. It's got a bit of weight to it so it doesn't look 'sleek', but not chubby either.
Only slight critique is maayybe a little less of the popeye arms, but on the whole it's a vast improvement.
>>27367392
On the anthro, I'm not sure what I can add, the style seems pretty down pat. Pretty much just a bipedal version of the show models, which is what you're going for, so I think you've got it pretty close to on lock.
Onto the morlocks, though, I'm kinda in disagreement, as them being clean takes away from it. They're supposed to be ugly, scary motherfuckers.
>>27367392
>I remember the first prototype I made and he was all ugh and ly plus an overall dirty creature. I'm thinking I could make them look more... clean at least, no more of those matted down greasy locks and something more akin to alpaca floof.
They are ugly though, that's why ponies scream like bitches everytime they see one. Vekir kinda works as her motif is being cute plus that, but for the most they're supposed to be creatures you find in a deep dark hole that look like they would eat you, because they probably would. The twist is that even though they're fuck ugly, scary and horrifying, they just wanna live a normal life like everyone else, the area they do it in just makes their perceptions different than normal.
>>27367392
Anthro pony looks okay(Like how you flipped Rarity's hair depending on where you look at her like the show keeps doing), arms aren't really that "Popeyeish" since you're doing that thing where they can turn into hooves, I assume, so on the whole it looks okay. Keeps the show style but is it's own thing.
What kind of gun, is that, though?
On the Locks who have the More, I think if anything you need to make the not-Vekir ones like Rekulk look MORE monstrous and terrifying, except have them be all smiles and nice faces.
Or maybe do a "Before-After" pic of what it looks like after they get cleaned up, that would be cool too.
>>27367567
Methinks that's a Luger.
>AJ
"Rarity"
~~~~
>WHAT DID YOU DOOOOO!?
The interim spent of the alabaster pony trying to find the strength to actually speak had not been silent.
Rarity found she couldn't even quite place how she had come awake, or what had caused it. Every cell in her body said she should be resting right now, dead to the world in the wonderful dreamland she had been in, but instead she found herself forced the same into the great wide world, and she could barely stand it.
>RARITY!
The red faced pony yelling at her did not help.
>Talk, dangit!
When she found she could actually breath steady enough to do just that, her head could no longer keep itself pointed to the ceiling. It rolled, pointing her gaze towards the window that let light bleed in from the world outside. Through that tiny piece of glass that separated her room and the city beyond, she could see everything.
When she could finally speak, it was not an answer that came.
Instead, a question.
"...How many died?"
The fire that had been raging and threatening to consume her friend was all but quenched when she saw the regret on her friend's face. The remorse, alone, was enough to bring her pause, and pull her away from her friends face, into a slow sit.
>Gad dang... nobody buckin' died, okay?
The single eye that could actually see her looked inquisitive, if not downright unbelieving.
>They didn't. Celestia said she made sure to shoot her with... look, Dash got everyone clear, and... Nobody died. Worst case was you and Dash, from that fight at least.
She was relieved, there was no way she could be anything else. She felt that, but she remained uneasy as she looked out the window, and all the devastation that had been wrought in the time she had been unconscious.
>Rarity... what did you do?
"...I tried to help, again."
That, as simple as it was, seemed to be all she could say.
>Rarity...
"I just... I wanted you to get a chance to talk to Sunset, that was all."
1/4
>>27367639
Of course, the orange princess chided to herself
Of course it would be because of her.
>Then why'd you go after Chitania?
"I didn't mean to... I didn't want to, she was just in the way. I was so focused on just accomplishing what I set out to do I... I never thought..."
She started to choke up, her words silenced with the closing of her throat.
>Rar... she thinks we're out to kill her now.
Her eyes clenched in regret, her head barely able to nod as she accepted what she had already feared.
"I didn't mean to. I was just trying to run, but- but I dug down too deep, it all just came out, and I couldn't stop it, I couldn't control it. I couldn't do anything... and someone almost..."
There was a familiar twitch in Applejack's hoof, a long since forgotten feeling of chitin cracking beneath it resurfacing with memories she would rather kept hidden.
>Ya' ain't the first one.
Gently, that hoof reached out, laying itself over top of the burned and damaged white one on the bed.
>Rarity, Ah' gotta tell the truth.
Sadly, she nodded, not so much as a hint of disagreement.
"I suppose it's only fair, they be allowed to hate me for my mistake this time.
>We're gonna get through this, okay? They ain't gonna hate you.
Her reassurances, however genuine, fell on deaf ears.
"...I always wanted to be a princess, Applejack. Since I was a little filly, all I ever dreamed about was being one, having all the pretty dresses and talking to all the important ponies and being rich and famous and oh so wonderful. It was all I ever wanted to be... and then, the very first time I ever have ponies rally behind me, the first time I ever got to really be a princess and they listened... I made things so much worse."
Her hoof shot up to her lips, covering them as if in shame.
"All I wanted to do was help. Be useful and fix something, for once. I couldn't even do that. I just wanted to fix one thing, for you. Maybe... I was never meant to be a princess, after all."
2/4
>>27367652
Her eyes clenched shut, even tighter.
"I can't even be a good friend, why did I ever think I deserved this power? Whenever I try to help someone... all I do is make it worse. Perhaps... it would be for the best if you called Celestia, and I simply... went back to how I'm supposed to be."
The wings on her back curled inward, as if trying to hide away. Feeling the desire of the one attached to them, to be rid of them.
>...Ah' know the feeling. Ya' go out, try to do the right thing, try to make everything better, but if it's stubbornness, pride or just plain stupidity, ya' just mess everything up, and someone nearly pays the price... maybe keeps on payin' that price.
The hoof on top of Rarity's own twitched again.
>But Rar... that don't mean you get to give up.
"I'll only-"
>Don't you give me that, "Ah'll only make it worse so Ah' not even gonna try" bullshit. Iffin' ya' broke somethin', ya' gotta fix it. If ya' can't fix it, then ya' gotta do what ya' can, and as much as ya' can, till ya' at least get close. Ya' messed up, yeah. That's the truth, honestly... but if you think you just get ta' roll over and quit because of it, ya' got another thing comin'.
That same hoof was pulled to her chest, and Rarity could no longer look away from Applejack's face.
>And if you think this is gonna change a dang thing, yer' wrong. Yer' mah friend, yer' always gonna be mah' friend, and no dang stupidity ya' get yer'self into is gonna change that. Only thing that'll ever change is how often Ah' gotta knock some sense inta' you.
The princess beneath her did not say a word, but the frown on her face lessened.
>If ya' wanna throw in the towel on this whole princess mess, Ah' don't blame ya', and Ah' won't think any less of ya'. But if ya' got wings and a horn, neither, or dang flippers fer' hooves, it ain't gonna change nothin'. Yer' mah friend, and we're gonna get through this. Together.
At last, the hoof left her own, and gently set it back down to the bed.
3/4
>>27367663
>Ya'll rest, fer now. You ain't in no condition to do anythin', yet. But when you are... we're gonna fix this, Rar. Ain't got a dang clue how we are, but we're going to fix this. You, me, the girls, all of us and more are gonna make things right... and we're not gonna stop bein' your friends. Just rest, get better... and then we're going to fix everything.
She did not leave, to the ex-unicorn's surprise. She simply faded away, as if she had ceased to be, and left her alone in the room. Alone, still not smiling...
But not frowning either.
"...as long as you're there... okay."
The wings didn't feel as heavy, anymore.
~~~
Two pairs of orange eyelids fluttered open, stinging just a bit as they adjusted to the light of the room once again. When they focused, they came to rest on her fellow alicorn on the bed. Still as the night, slowly breathing, with eyes shut in a state of peaceful rest.
She had not moved an inch, and Applejack would have it no other way. Just one look at the battered, bruised and pained looking form of one of her dearest friends on that bed had been enough to dissuade even the slightest of thoughts of mistreatment or harsh retaliation. Even the thought of waking her to a place where she could feel the brunt of those wounds had been one that brought her sickness to her stomach.
Thankfully, she didn't have to.
>Thanks, this was much easier on her.
The Queen Changeling standing over her barely gave a nod, the flames on her horn long since dissipating.
~So, what next?~
>Now?... Ah'm gonna find someone Ah' can scream at and not feel bad about it.
~...I get to watch.~
>Wouldn't have it any other way.
>>27367671
Welp. Pommel's fucked.
>>27367392
>Dat rarity
Nice outfit.
>>27367392
>and something more akin to alpaca floof.
Oh my god, that would be hilarious.
>>27367663
>>And if you think this is gonna change a dang thing, yer' wrong. Yer' mah friend, yer' always gonna be mah' friend, and no dang stupidity ya' get yer'self into is gonna change that. Only thing that'll ever change is how often Ah' gotta knock some sense inta' you.
PURE
APPLEJACK
>>27367883
Amen.
>>27367392
Rara's fine.
>I'm wondering what sort of improvements I could make now that they've learned a bunch.
Now as now in story, or now as now in space-age simulator?
Assuming first, too short time to remove ugly, that takes generations of selective breeding.
I could however see them start putting more attention to health, and coming from that, hygiene.
And by that I mean not running around caked in dirt and shit. You see those spikes of fur on Rekulk? Tangled and glued with filth. Were ever morlocks introduced to the spa? Those tufts of hair are nice characteristic, but would be great if taken good care of.Bonus points if you make Rarity do it when she gets better.
LAST THREAD RECAP, BRO TIER EDITION
>Filthy Rich gets a call from his wife and regrets that she started talking to DT again,
>Spike meets with Rarity, who is unconscious, and after a pep talk with said pony via telepathic Chartiy, he decides to be a protector again, and not be so down.
>Chrysalis starts banging her head on the wall. She doesn't know when she'll stop.
>Chitania gets the downsides of being unable to move.
>AJ learns about Sweet Note and isn't happy.
>We finally cut back to 007, where we find out not only what happened to him, but where Fluttershy's been! Turns out 007 had one of his animal thralls call her for help, and she swiftly defeated Flash and Fizzle. After some accidental torture to Fizzle due to her powers, they say they'll tell 'their boss' they were successful so they'll leave the scientist alone, and everyone leaves.
>Honeyheart, after being harassed a bit by a guy, calls for Jetset via the vial he gave her.
>Twilight and Pinkie are mad they missed everything.
>Rekulk wants to party.
>PD and Gwen were wearing sparkly hoof polish this whole time.
>The Canties wonder why they don't just move.
>55 has some thoughts about clones that go awry.
>Twilight feels like she's fallen behind in the tech wars.
>Chrysalis dumps 13 off with 42 and goes to get to the bottom of this, ordering her to punch anyone who tries to get close to her, Celestia included.
>13 and 42 decide to play Candyland.
>2 and Mane-Iac keep driving Spitfire nuts
>Cloudchaser orders Derpy to stretch the glutes. Many a story with the pair follow as CC tries to be the best Ponyville Weather Captain ever.
>Celestia goes back to her room, and the head of Dollestia asks how the meeting with Sunset went.
>Acty wonders if he's supposed to sit with 32 or not.
>Aj tells Pinkie she hasn't found anything and is ticked.
>The CMC debate getting a cutiecenera or even telling anyone, and decide to just wait for someone to notice they have cutie marks.
1/2justtwo
>>27368178
>Applejack is ready to give up, when out of nowhere Chrysalis arrives and says she needs to talk!
>Chrysalis is, surprsingly, blunt. She cuts right to the chase and tells AJ to be honest with her if this is some plot to kill Chitania, or if any of the others might think that, or if Rarity was trying to do that.
>AJ tells her no on all counts, and finally she hears the story from 13's perspective. Although she's weary of taking 13's word for it, She also learns that Chitania really does think they're out to murder her, and she did try to stop the fight back when it started.
>Eventually she puts everything together, and Chrysalis agrees they need to fix this.
>In a surprising show of friendship, Chrysalis opts not to stay out of the whole mess, and says she'll help AJ fix what happened, even if it seems impossible. Aj is likewise touched Chrysalis came to her first, and Chrysalis said she just needed some honesty.
>Even as bad as it seems, the two join up and get ready to find the whole truth and bring it to the world!
>Trixie is still being a dick as 29 and co head back to ponyville.
>Sunset flirts with just leaving Chitty behind like so many did to her, but decides she can't do it, and goes into an unnamed town in disguise.
>DT talks with 77 again, where we learn it was her that wanted her armor to be black, instead of pink, because it felt more right for a fighter.
>Poindexter ejects after 2 finds his 'books'
>Luna is still at the spa.
>Rarity was having such a nice dream... until the screaming started.
>"RAARRRIIITTYYYY!... WHAT DID YOU DO!?"
>Applejack is not happy.
If missed story tell me in a rush wanted this out but no time!
>>27368200
Damn, talk about abridged!
As always, thanks for the recap.
>>27367416
>>27367434
>>27367483
>>27367567
>>27367737
>>27367963
Thank you all very much, now as for the morelocks, well take a look at this, ugly but charming. Also ignore the clothes, I was messing around with some ideas and ended up in Elvis Territory somehow.
>>27368272
>I am to being the hunka hunka burning love now, yes? Yes.
>>27368272
Pffftahahah, he looks like a stock bully character in a high school drama.
I love it.
>>27367392
Personally, I'm not a big fan of the fingers. I'm too used to seeing hooves I guess. If you used powerpuff girl hands to hold things, I honestly wouldn't question it. Anyway, that's my input. Overall it's just fine.
In light of the recent and awesome GC stories, I was gonna write this one story where Spike, still feeling conflicted, went outside, loaded some sort of special bullet into Charity and fired it into the air where it'd act as a beacon of sorts that all the members would see, drop their stuff, and come running which would lead to a group agreement to always be together and stuff.
I'm obviously not gonna write it now in light of other stories but man I'd been sitting on that for a long ass time. Feels good to get it out in some way.
>>27368272
INTO THE WIKI IT GOES!
>>27368272
He seriously does look like a tough guy character, but the kind that turns out to be a nice guy with a heart of gold.
>>27368272
I don't know why I love this, but at some point, Rekulk is going to get a jacket.
It's going to happen.
>>27368326
While I'm all for the airsack/keneticfield/etc explanation for hooves being able to pick up shit, I can't in my right mind allow that for triggers though. Pushing buttons? Fine. Flicking switches? Doubly Fine. Pulling levers? Definitely! Squeezing a Trigger? Nope.
And I'm not a fan of the whole OP Unicorn Master race being the only ones who can mess with these kind of things. So, everyone gets fingers!... Except for Celestia, cause she's the only normal one left.
>Cloudchaser
"Derpy"
~~~
>I dare you to say this isn't a good thing!
"This seems bad, actually."
>Ha! You backed out of the dare, I win! As a result, you now have to take all the blame for this, loser!
"I have to take the blame for starting a giant fire to make black clouds?"
>Yep! All on you, Derpidoo.
"That's not my name."
>You may have your name back after you agree to my terms.
"...What was the plan here?"
>You know, at some point, I forgot all about it.
"Huh."
>Yep, that's how you get a perfect record, just do it.
"Do you have a record at all?"
>Per. Fec. Tion.
"...That fire is spreading."
>PONYVILLE WEATHER TEAM, ASSEMBLE!
"..."
>...
"..."
>...They're coming.
"...'
>Just you wait.
"..."
>Annny second now.
"Maybe you need to yell louder."
>I don't like overdoing things.
>>27364556
'Truly the delicious fruit hit me harder than I was thinking, for otherwise ghosts of ages muchly passed traipse through my garden.'
>Uh, well, in a sense.
"Howdy there, pal, sorry about smackin' ya with that little liar apple. Guess I shoulda looked where I was throwin'."
>We're just here because we were curious about how uh...well all this came to pass.
'What has come to pass? You must be speaking specifically for an understanding to be reach, phantom friend.'
"How'n the hay did a bunch of cave dwellin' nimrods manage to get into space?"
>AJ, I think we should be a bit more diplomatic.
"Twi, this feller's a farmer, Ah think he'd appreciate a bit of bluntness."
The Morlock grins wide.
'Hmm hmm, yes, if the ancient stories are to be understood...the Apple and the Star stand before me, yes?'
"Do what now?"
'She of Knowledge and She of Honesty, two of the goddesses of the beloved time of the fathers who came before even my father's father's father. I am thinking this is no mere head bonking...'
>You could say that, what exactly do you know of that time?
'Only legends that have passed down...'
~HURRAH!~
The Morlock looks over his shoulder, blinking at a rapidly approaching form in the distance. He looks back to Twi and AJ.
'For truth our history is long, longer than can be told to you here, perhaps another time?'
The two ponies look at each other.
>Sure, we'll come back.
"Got work ta do, pal?"
The Morlock smiles.
'Within a sense.'
>See you soon.
'Farewell!'
Bwoop.
'Such a strangeness...perhaps a sign?'
~CHIEFTAN! CHIEF REKULK!~
'Yes, friend, for what do you shout?'
~News from the frontier, the scientists of the surveying ship Laggasch have made discoveries!~*SPOILER PIC*
Rekulk XVI, High Chieftan of the Great Morlock Tribe looks up to the stars, a grin on his face.
'...truly a sign, very truly.'
>>27368591>inb4 someone says it's Chitania over there.
>>27368502
Then I suggest either modifying guns to accommodate hooves like
https://derpibooru.org/613528?scope=scpe2804219d63b23825e5206084621b05e31af2e044
Or metal fingers like in this post or even this picture here.
https://derpibooru.org/695919?scope=scpe2804219d63b23825e5206084621b05e31af2e044
Otherwise pure fingers look too anthro.
>>27368502
In a project I abandoned a long time ago I usually had different types of pony specialize in different sorts of weaponry.
Unicorns used the usual sort of gun, while Pegasi specialized in quick striking melee attacks and dropping explosives, and Earth ponies usually either went unarmed or manned stationary World War 1-esque crank gun emplacements.
>>27368601
>Implying Chitty didn't survive the end of all things and is just lying in wait.
>>27368652
Modifying guns is all well end good, but I'm not making hoof triggers.
>https://derpibooru.org/613528?scope=scpe2804219d63b23825e5206084621b05e31af2e044
These guns don't even have triggers and while I'm all for the kinetic field, but extending up the "wrist" so you can use the hoof as a trigger 'finger'? Come on, really?
>https://derpibooru.org/695919?scope=scpe2804219d63b23825e5206084621b05e31af2e044
While I admit those are pretty neat, they don't fit the tech level, these things looks surgically implanted and a possible cybernetic interface. The ponies have a psudo-WW2 tech level mixed in with some magi-tech, and before you say anything about using that, I rather not.
While I'm thankful for the suggestions, I'm probably not gonna change the fingers, just be happy I'm using three and a thumb as the norm.
>>27368679
I thought about this too, but I didn't want to specialize anything to much.
>SA
"Cadence"
~~~
>...
"This... probably isn't helping, is it?"
>...Do we have ninjas?
"Wh... what?"
>Do we have ninjas. The Empire, I mean. Do we have Ninjas? Ninjas we can send out and make stab ponies. With swords. Do we have those?
"I... I don't...."
>Look, you know what? If there's one thing that can come from this whole thing Chrysalis did, it's that I can be open about this. I need ninjas. Ninjas who can track certain individuals down and stab them. With swords.
"..."
>I am flexible on the swords, but not on them being stabbed.
"Well, I guess changelings are kind of ninjas? Blend in, can take on any disguise, black to mingle in the night..."
>...
"Shiny no."
>I didn't say it.
"Shinny."
>I'm allowed to think it as long as I don't say it.
"..."
>...That one carries around a gun anyway.
"SHINY!"
>I didn't say it!
>>27368981
You feed them, they owe you a political assassination or two.
>>27368812
Looks good enough for me to suspend my disbelief and kind of a knitty gritty detail to be hung up on, but if you don't like hoof triggers, that's fine.
You can also did what I did in story and make magic iron gauntlets that can protrude fingers. I once had DT beat Spike in a game of rock paper scissors with it. Just because its pseudo-WW2 tech doesn't mean you can't borrow metal hands from Full Metal Alchemist or Guts from Berserk.
>before you say anything about using that, I rather not.
Oh...well, I'll say it anyway.
>>27368272
Im feeling strong 'Grease' vibes here.
Weird, considering I've never watched 'Grease'.
>>27369210
Honestly one doesn't have to watch Grease to have seen Grease. It's influence is pretty much everywhere.
>>27368272
This is gonna sound odd, but that coat looks like a 70's superhero costume.
>>27369714
Captain Yesterday!!!
>>27369714
I was oddly thinking sci-fi pilot, but that may just be the pseudo LP we got going on.
>>27369826
That's sort of what I had in mind actually. But I know jack about present day fashion let alone future clothes
>Celestia
"???"
~~~
The sound that came from her was two parts groan of pain, three parts gargle of frustration, and six parts plain dissatisfaction of all things in this world.
There was also one part cake hunger, but that universal constant no longer qualified as worth mentioning.
All of that combined with the telltale tiredness one normally gains when doing battle with a ten story monster compounded into a conundrum of aches and pain that could be solved by only one action.
Climbing onto the bed, and face first into a pillow.
>...This did nothing.
When the aches and pains and headache and heartache joined forces in a cabal of darkness against her rest, the temptation to bring about the end of all creation by calling forth her grand sun to give her the hugs to end all hugs reared it's ugly head once more.
Many a time she had fought off that feeling, but like the most cheesy of reoccurring villains it just kept coming back after swearing vengeance.
The slight sound of the party beyond was of little comfort to her in this state. No happiness of her ponies could chase away the spike in her lower back or the tapping sensation on the side of her head. There was little to be done in times like this, except just to wait and hope it went away.
It hadn't worked yet, but there was a first time for everything.
She lied there as the minutes and soon hours ticked away, face digging deeper in an attempt to suffocate herself and bring about the peace of death in vain. With her head as far down as it was, she never even heard the creak of her door opening, nor the hoofsteps that crept up to the bed.
She noticed when the weight shifted ever so slightly, and her mind instantly jumped to the thought of assassins, there to dig a knife into her back and leave her bleeding out in the darkness to be discovered when her body had grown cold.
She wished them luck.
>Whatever you want, it cannot possible be worth having your intestines ripped oooouuhuuuhhh myyyyyy~
1/4
>>27370054
The ideas forming as to how she would kill whoever had chosen to disturb her already ineffective attempt to sooth her aches and make a bad day worse melted like butter beneath the warm and soft hooves rolling into her back. She felt the sharp stings chased away one by one, pushed right out of her body and out of her mind.
She had no idea who it was, but she was already seriously considering giving them the key to the national treasury and telling them they had twenty minutes.
When they hit a particular maligned spot and miraculously pushed it right back where it should have gone, she was ready to bump that up to an hour.
>Ohhhhh, yessss...
Questioning who it was or why became as meaningless as knowing how many stars there were in the sky. Useful information, most likely, but as far as she was concerned all she cared about was how much wonderful twinkling was going to cover her sight before the night was over.
"Yeah, I figured you needed this today."
She was wholly unsurprised at the voice, in no small part to the fact he could have been a three headed goat and she would still think he was sent from the plain of happiness and lollipops with the magic he was working on her back.
While she would someday later admit it was probably a good thing that it had been someone she knew who had walked into her room and started rubbing their hooves all over her back in her prone state, that was something future Celestia would have to deal with.
Present Celestia did not give a single care.
>Bubblehorse, you have no idea.
He did not challenge her on that, though she knew he could being one of the rare ponies who actually did run a kingdom that had been wrecked by a giant monster, and instead continued his ministrations to bring her pain down from all encompassing to a level that didn't make her wish genocide on all things.
Equestria had been saved a second time on this day, and they had no idea.
It would not be the last.
2/4
>>27370060
"Sorry for just barging in, but-"
>Ooohhh~ Shiny? With the magic you are doing right now, you can have me. I'm serious, go ahead and have me right here on this bed. So long as you keep going you can do whateeeeever~ you want to me. Barge in anywhere you want.
His laughter and hitting what was easily the worst spot, right under where her wings connected, put the dumbest smile on her face.
"Been a while since that drove me up a wall, Celly."
>Keep your hooves on my back and you can drive me up any wall you want.
He kept at it like a good soldier should without pausing. He dug in and got to work, and he would not stop until every single enemy that was causing her pain was hunted down and eliminated, even if they were just misaligned bones or the odd inflamed nerve in her own body.
Still protecting her after all this time.
>Ooooh~ I needed that.
When his hooves that were no doubt aching themselves left her back, she felt like a whole new mare, one that had been kneaded out of a giant dough of bruised bread to a wonderful treat.
"I figured you also needed one of these."
Speaking of treats, with her nose no longer strained and closed up with a sinus headache, she could smell what had been denied her so far.
How he had even managed to fit the gargantuan cake inside of her room was a mystery she would never care to solve.
She had officially made up her mind.
>Marry me.
He might have done something besides laugh had she been able to actually look at him and not all but float off the ground towards the singing siren song of sugar, but she could not look away.
>Dead serious. You, me, we're getting married right now. Then we're going to do married stuff right in the wedding cake, I don't care who sees. Inform Cadence I'm moving in permanently and we're officially married now, I can do that.
"You just want to hide in the Empire so you don't have to deal with this stuff."
Not a word of denial could come out of her mouth.
It was too full of cake.
3/4
>>27370070
>Ohhhh~ yeeshhhsshhh~
Savory, sweet, delicious cake that made the whole world seem a little less dark and painful.
That something like this existed in the world, and that someone in this world existed who would bring it to her, was proof there was good in this universe and that it should be celebrated.
"Don't choke now."
>If I do, then I will die happy.
He likely heard very little of her words with how stuffed her mouth was, but there was never a doubt in her mind that he had understood everything.
When the wonderful feeling proved to be too much, she finally let herself stumble back, and plop right back onto the bed, dragging the cake into easy reach with her.
>Thank yooouuuu~
The stallion she was mashing her sweet cuisine ridden and sticky cheek against was passive, not looking bothered in the least that his own pristine white cheek was being tainted with garish frosting colors.
He never made a move to push her away as she dug it in, instead he did the opposite. He reached out to hold her, keeping her from sliding down in her more relaxed state, all of her bones having been replaced with jello so swiftly she hadn't even noticed them gone.
The sigh that escaped her lips just before she floated around yet another chunk of the giant cake was one of pure, utter content.
>Thank you. You have no idea how much I needed this, all of it.
She was happy again.
"I'm glad you're feeling better, because... there's kind of something I have to bring up-"
The door slammed open, none of that ludicrousness of soft sound in consideration to make someone feel better.
For they did not want to make her better.
~CELESTIA! WE NEED TA' TALK, NOW! Get that crud out of yer' mouth and get off that stallion, WE'RE TALKIN'!~
"...Or my thing can wait, whatever.
~NOW, AH' SAID!~
The one she had ascended wished to bring her pain.
>...uh buhhh...
She succeeded.
~~Holy shit i have not written in forever!
>>27370096
And now to wait for it.....
>>27370096
BEST
PAIR
And AJ here to ruin it.
>>27370184
Yuuuuup, there it is.
>>27370184
And Chryssy in the back
She likes to watch
>>27370184
Did you see Spike going in to give her back rubs and cake post Sunset Event? How many snuggles did she get when she trudged to the Empire after AppleCrazy? How many times did Spike go across a country just to help her out when she was feeling blue?
AJ is so green the Grinch keeps thinking she's his cousin.
>>27370096
>Get that crud out of yer' mouth and get off that stallion
Boy, in another setting....
>>27370222
Kek, snorted my damn coffee.
>>27370222
AJ requires more Spike
Yes
>>27370222
>There's a universe out there where we made AJ part of the CE harem instead of Celly
>She got way more cute moments and Celly got nothing
I like to think we ended up in the best world.
>>27370386
Yeah, me too. Because for that to be then other things would've had to change, for better or worse.
>>27370096
Well
They did the stress relief WITHOUT using the Bathtub
Some progress, I suppose
>>27370363
The thing we keep asking for but WE never get off our asses and write.
>>27370651
Huh. Time to change that too, I guess!
>>27370096
NC
~~~~
>Fuck that, BUBBLEHORSE ATTACK!
"GAH!"
CRACK!
~MAH SKULL!~
>TO THE MOOOOONNNNN!
CRASH!
"..."
~...~
"...Hi, AJ."
~Shining. Yer, uh... yer' horn is inside mah' side.~
"First time you've actually had something long and hard inside you in a while, eh?"
~Ah'd buck you if my legs bent that way.~
"I wasn't coming on to you!"
~BUCK DOES NOT MEAN FUCK! They're two different actions!~
"Oh yeah? Which on of them relies on you putting a lot of weight on your hind legs and thrusting in quick, sudden motions until you get too tired to continue?"
~...Fuck you.~
>Cloudchaser
"Derpy"
'Zecora'
~~~
'...I'm sorry, my ears must have shut. You want me to do what?'
>Make a twister with your enchantress magic that I, the greatest Ponyville Weather Captain in the world, will defeat, thus cementing that fact and being so wow that it completely undoes any past or future fuckups that I have not made nor will make.
'...'
"And can you make it a purple twister?"
>Why would she make it purple?
"Well, if it's purple, then that'll really get ponies talking! I mean, I'm pretty sure anyone can stop a tornado, but next time it comes up you just be all "Oh yeah? Was yours purple?" What're they going to say to that?"
>...I've got nothing. Magic Zebra, make it purple!
'Did you get hit in the head? Are you a little braindead?'
>HEY! WHOA! There is no need to talk to her like that, her eyes just do that!
"Do what?"
'This is absurd, the dumbest I've heard! I cannot change the weather with my 'enchantress' power. I doubt I could even change a little flower.'
"Didn't you once make a magic flower that cured cutie marks, and was related to someone telling the truth for some reason?"
>But specific truth, because flowers know that somehow.
"You couldn't just say "The sky is blue" because the flower will somehow know that's not the exact truth needed at that exact moment."
>But oh, tornados, something any pegasus could do, that's beyond your potions.
"As opposed to a potion that lets you see into the past, you can make those."
'...Huh.'
>...
"...soooo..."
'...I will not lie... To do it I will try?'
>BINGO!
"Preconceived notions about the magical abilities of other races win again!"
>This is the best lesson!
'Fuck.'
>>27370054
>She wished them luck.
Ha ha!
Suicide references.
>>27371165
To be fair, that's the least racist thing they ever did.
>18
"Cadence"
~~~
>Cadence? I came through as fast as I could, what did you need me for?
"Wait, what? I called you two hours ago!"
>I had to dig myself out.
"From what!?"
>Let me answer that with a question. What did you need to show me?
"...Ah. Yes, that probably clears things up."
>Annnd, behind door number one we have-WHAT THE FUCK!?
"Pretty much."
>...The FUCK did I miss!?
"Story of our lives."
>>27371165
>"As opposed to a potion that lets you see into the past, you can make those."
I'm pretty sure we never even got to here canon story wise so... yeah.
>>27372413
...Yes we did.
That was season 4 Episode ONE, directly BEFORE they put the Elements back in the tree.
The Elements are currently in the Tree.
We made it to freaking Rainbow Falls, we even have Pinkie Pride in there.
OOCO
>Spike
"SA"
'PD'
(Chrysalis)
{Cadence}
~Applejack~
~~~
>FINALLY! Someone who doesn't want to have sex with Shining to play OnO with again!
'I'm here pretty much every time.'
>I've seen how you look at him.
'Hey, just because I like his coat doesn't mean I want to do him.'
"This conversation is going to unfortunate places and I want it to stop."
(HAH!)
"There, requisite cackling laugh is out of the way, can we switch topics?"
{Is it fair to say 'want to' have sex with him when I actually do that?}
>Past tense.
(HAH!)
'Embodiment of past tense is laughing.'
(At least I got some, dreamer.)
~Iffin' Ah' just start rollin', will we start the game and get off topic?~
'I'm all for this.'
"Me too!"
(If I start rolling will I get on Shiny's topic, if you get what I mean?... Wait, should have gone with topdic... SHIT! Gotta remember that one for next time)
~Ya' assume there's gonna be a next time?~
(Oh, there'll be a next time.)
~Spike, just get us goin'.~
>You find yourselves in a dark, chilling forest-
(I ROLL ADVANCE SEDUCTION ON APPLEJACK!)
"OH COME ON- wait a minute."
~Wait what?~
>WHAT!?
(I can do that, we have definitively ruled by this point I can very much do that.)
{It's true!}
>Why are you helping her!?
{She's not going to fake-bang my husband.}
~She's gonna fake-bang me though!~
>Yeah!
(Thaaats the plan. Any interceptions from Shiny or Cadence, the only two with abilities who can?)
"I'm good."
{Standing by!}
>Poindexter do something!
'Can't, wood elf isn't effected by magic, it would just roll around me.'
>But... but!
(HAH! Criticallll!)
~Awww, crap.~
(And just for this, I brought my holding staff!)
~The heck does that do?~
(Stick to any part of my body, it's supposed to make it easier to open or disarm certain traps. But, right now, it's made to destroy.)
~Destroy what?~
(Your characters ASS!)
1/2
>>27373045
>WHY DOES THAT EXIST!?
(So that I can get some Apple Juice! UNH! YEAHHH!)
~Oooh baby, o-ohhh OHH! Oh mah stars!~
>WHY!?
~Figured Ah'm gonna have fun with it iffin' she's gonna fake-rail me.~
(Ohhhhh yeaahhhh, give my succubus all that love.)
~Yer' so big, ah'm goin' nuts, Ah love it.~
>ALRIGHT ENOUGH!
(This doing anything for you?)
"Some part of this is making me very happy, yes."
>TURN OVER!
(Excellent suggestion! What if we try flipping you like... THIS!)
~Dang girl, leave some of fake me in one piece. Ah'm bout near ready ta' pass out.~
(Oh, by the time I'm done with fake you, you're going to be a mess.)
~Ah' believe it. Ohhh, yer' gonna wreck me.~
>YOU'RE SUDDENLY ATTACKED BY SIX TROLLS, FOURTEEN STONE GARGOYLES OF MAGICS BANE, A SIXTEEN HEADED HYDRA AND A FAUSTDAMNED KILLER RABBIT!
(I'm going to use direct love connection and blast them.)
{Isn't that where you unleash a big blast when you make her... um.. you know.}
(Correct.)
>THAT WON'T-
(Critical.)
~OH YEEEEEEAHHHHHH!~
>...youkillallthethings...
(Mmmm... was it good for you too?)
~Eh, Ah've had better.~
(HAH! Now that's how you roleplay!)
{And it wasn't Shiny for once, yay!}
'And we got so much experience points, the rest of this is going to be a breeze!'
"Wow, everything worked out. Awesome!... where to next-"
FWOOOOOSH!
~...Sugar cube, is there a reason ya' set fire to the board-~
>I sneezed.
TABLE FLIP
Walk out
~Huh. Well, too bad, Ah' was having fun!~
(It was great... I really wish he hadn't flipped the table though.)
'EXCUSE ME FOR BEING A STALLION!'
(For the record, Shiny is way bigger-)
"FOR FUCKS SAKE, CHRYSALIS!)
{She's right though.}
"..."
{What?}
~Ah' need ta' play more often.~
>>27373065
NC
>Cadence
~~~~
>NOT SO FUNNY WHEN IT'S YOU, HUH!?
>>27373065
Ahhh, OnO.
Always a bright spot whenever it arrives.
>>27373065
...my horrible mind is imagining what will happen when Twilight invents the personal computer and ERP can become a thing.
Or when a better version of the simulator comes out.
>>27368379
Go for it. I'd latch onto any excuse to write them doing things together. I've been thinking of writing a story where they play Risk and this might be just a perfect excuse.
>>27361765
>>27361912
I would add her in, but I don't have any particular love for Daw because of the bad impression she gave meeting GC and onwards. I find her presence aren't usually positive interactions, so she doesn't have much of my respect. It's a "your kid isn't playing nice with my kids" thing. I'd be willing to let go of my dislike of her and throw her an olive branch to include her, but I'm not used to the way she talks, so I wouldn't know how to write her dialogue.
>>27373370
>I find her presence aren't usually positive interactions, so she doesn't have much of my respect.
Really? The story when she came back and apologized for her first impression didn't help.
Shame, what went wrong with that particular meeting, maybe we can fix it.
>>27373370
>and onwards.
Wasn't it-
>Meeting one, acts like a cocky jackass and insults everyone
Then-
>Spike asks her why she acted like that and she admitted that she was just trying to make a good impression, since being a pirate when she heard they were rough and tumble badassses that's what she figured they would act like, and when she found out they were offended they apologized
?
I actually liked that bit, rare bit of character development for a her.
That said, while I have no idea what Pommel Anon actually intended for her accent to sound like(it's very inconsistent) I just give her Elizabeth Swan's accent from POTC whenever I write her.
>>27373388
That meeting was actually fine and I was willing to give her a second chance because of it, but then she went back to being negative to the other characters from then on, so I was "welp there goes your second chance and I'm throwing your apology out the window."
>>27373453
When was she negative to the other characters? I can't even remember a time when she saw Spike after that.
>>27373453
Only times I remember her interacting with other Club members was awkwardly hanging out with Spoon that one time and being part of the group that caught Snake Eyes.
>>27373620
The snake eyes thing wasn't even gunclub, the only member there was 77. DT and SS was off somewhere else and would not reappear until the thread before last, Spike was on the beach and PJ was camping.
She hasn't even had an extended conversation with 77.
>>27373664
racist
>>27373478
At the very least her back and forths with DT. It wasn't gelling and unfortunately I couldn't find their barbs funny. I vaguely recall her complaining about members, but I might be just remembering it incorrectly.
The last time I remember Daw interacting with Spike was when they had to dig him out of the snow after he got punted. Another was when Spike and DT had to leave her behind during the 12 rescue.
>>27373747
I don't even remember her talking all that much to DT
I meant to do something with them but something I can't really remember got in the way...
>>27373747
>I vaguely recall her complaining about members, but I might be just remembering it incorrectly.
You're remembering that incorrectly, an anon really didn't like her and a back and forth ensued when he had Daw in NC go over how she sucked, and a large number of random one off sillies followed, because we do that sometimes.
She's never said anything bad about any of the other members in canon except for DT, who she calls a gobshite, because DT does stuff like make her carry TBDRLIATU up a mountain and then later reveal he has jumpjets just because it's funny to watch.
Funny enough, in thread 78(Can't link), when the A-team gets called, she calls DT a gobshite after she leaves her and SS behind, and SS goes "Fuck you, she's still my best friend", and it actually makes Daw back off and shut up about it.
>>27373664
77's a club member, I counted that as her interacting with a member.
>>27373442
Just do a pirate accent, really, the only thing that sets her apart is replacing 'the' with 'th' '.
>>27373967
Oh yeah, I remember that now.
I wrote the mountain thing.
I was actively trying to placate that guy.
GLAD TO SEE HOW WELL THAT WENT
>>27373967
>You're remembering that incorrectly, an anon really didn't like her and a back and forth ensued when he had Daw in NC go over how she sucked, and a large number of random one off sillies followed, because we do that sometimes.
I just realized I deleted the DT in there.
I mean an anon really hated DT, not Daw, and had DAW go over how she sucked, including just telling guards to grab TBDRLIATU from her because she wouldn't be able to do anything. The back and forth was mostly about DT, Daw was just a NC mouthpiece.
There wasn't a back and forth about how Daw sucked.
>>27374060
Was that the 'Just sit on her' thing?
>>27374089
That was one of the lines, yeah. There was a lot of lines.
>>27374097
Are we sure about this? Because I swear that wasn't NC and it was meant to be funny until someone went full autism about how DT would be a champion wrestler or something. And that isn't an insult, the guy literally said it triggered his autism.
>>27374143
For the record, the thing I'm thinking of was during the Peacetrotter debacle.
>>27374143
This?
http://desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22337892/#22375328
This was wayyyyy pre gunclub.
Also, that autism line was him saying he'd bring up why it wouldn't work because sitting on her is a move that makes her vulnerable, not that she's a champion wrelster. The one guy spazzed out because DT was too "OP" when that was pointed out, and it got into sheer "Character wars" territory,
The smarter of us just did stuff like
http://desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22337892/#q22378195
desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22337892/#22378243
http://desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22337892/#22378267
http://desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22337892/#22378540
And my personal favorite
http://desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22337892/#22378606 plus
http://desustorage.org/mlp/thread/22337892/#22378680
Because even our debates are funny.
>>27374263
Right so I guess I just flat wasn't around for whatever you're talking about.
Kinda pisses me off because I've said it before and I'll say it again 'Fun Pirate Pone is for Fun, Not Drama'. Frankly I'm dreading the slog ahead of me with this damn Sweet Note situation.
>>27374060
Oh yeah, that sounds about right. Daw was being a mouthpiece.
>There wasn't a back and forth about how Daw sucked.
Right and it set off red flags in my head. It poisoned any interest I had for Daw and the negativity just carried on when she called DT a gobshite in canon, so I ended up having no desire to write for her.
>>27374325
>Frankly I'm dreading the slog ahead of me with this damn Sweet Note situation.
Are you really that worried? If so, I can just drop that setup and leave you to her. There is already we set up in there where Pom is no longer involved in investigating her or interrogating her due to conflicts of interests, and everyone has agreed it was just an accident on her part including from her. If you want, just consider it dropped. No more of Pom or her in that particular subplot, I'll sub someone else for what I am planning to do, it's not a big deal. Won't even have any of the characters bring her up except to describe the event, nothing more.
Pirate pony is all yours if you want her back, consider her taken out of the storyline and sorry for worrying you, I got all the most important parts already and don't need to do anything else with her if it's going to worry you or prevent your writing for her.
Sorry about that, and consider her part in that subplot and everything with it over.
>>27374615
I'm just being hyperbolic, I'm used to characters I like getting bitchslapped at this point.
Besides, I've already committed to tying that dumb Baltimare subplot up following this anyway, might as well ride the pain train all the way.
>>27374263
>The dragon balls line.
Classic
>>27374703
Even back then we liked to talk about his balls.
>>27374643
Seriously, I can see this is bothering you, especially with the bitch slap line, so just go ahead with her. Consider her cut free, no more drama going to touch her at all, and no more of this Sweet Note situation is going to even affect her. Her or Pommel, if you want.
Have fun with the pirate pony, we always need more of that.
>>27374748
No damn you, I am NOT some pussy who just lets this shit grt dropped for his own benefit. I WANT you to do this, I WANT you to just get it the hell over with, whatever it is you plan on doing.
I'm not some pussy who's going to just sit back and complain when he gets thrown a curveball. I am going to take what you give me and I will build something even better off of it because I like to write these fucking characters and I am not going to have something just get dropped.
BECAUSE THIS IS PRINCESS FUCKING APPLEJACK AND NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS IT CAN BE FIXED!
>>27374824
Alright?
Well, on that note, to revise. Feel free to use her as much as you want in the interim, because her part still requires a bit of setup out of the way first for what I am going to do next, so don't worry so much about it in the interim, since I'm not just going to get it over with, it won't makes sense right now.
So use her for whatever up to that point, she could even go and under the caves and do that subplot in the leadup. Just relax, I'm not planning on shitting all over her or anything.
Non-Canon
>Applejack
"Rarity"
'Luna'
[Pink Pony Club]
~~~~~
>Welcome to Fireside /pa/ with your host Applejack. It's during this time that Ah' fix things in my sleep.
"Will we be able to wake up?"
>What was that?
"Just glad that I left the window open."
>You worry too much. Ah' called that exterminator. They'll get any bugs we missed and we don't have to pay extra because we got those mosquitos.
"...yeeeeah."
>Anyway got any problems you need fixing...maybe an actual problem?
"Yes...sort of. Would you consider endorsing some products for revenue?"
>You mean advertising and becoming a corporate sellout? Now why in the hay would Ah' do that?
"We are skimping a lot on castle maintenance."
>The castle's doing just fine. It's sturdy.
"We can't keep downsizing and expect to keep the castle's image intact. Ad revenue could help supplement maintenance. Luna has no problem with advertising and she seems fine."
~~~Somewhere else~~~
'Was that Leafball too spicy for you? Mama mia, you should get Alka Seltzer to give you that much needed relief......We're so dead on the inside.'
~~~Fireplace~~~
>Ah' don't think so. Ah' don't want big businesses to think they have control in politics.
A catchy high energy music plays in the background and suddenly Pinkie, Cadence, and DT in different colored outfits, burst in singing
[Wanta Ponka? Dontcha wanta? Wanta Ponka? Dontcha wanta? Wanta Ponka? Dontcha wanta?]
>Pinkie what are you-
[Talking a lot can get real boring, but having a Ponka will keep you soaring!]
>Are you advertising your drink on my show?!
Music stops.
[Well you are shooting in my dreamhouse, so I might as well promote some of my products occasionally.]
Music resumes.
[Wanta Ponka? Dontcha wanta? Wanta Ponka? Dontcha wanta?]
They fade out.
>...
"...so about big businesses-"
>Not...a word...thank you everypony for joining me...on the Fireside.
Gooooood night~
>>27373045
>(At least I got some, dreamer.)
kys my chigger
>>27375242
Crossover!
>>27376168
Both the best kind of crosses, and the best kind of over actually work
>>27375242
Awww, don't worry Lulu.
At least you're just a corporate whore.
>19
“Cadence”
~~~
>…Guess we have to help building, again.
“Yep.”
>Despite the whole investigation thing
“We do.”
>And the whole accusation thing.
“That too.”
>And all of this that said we had to be friends with ponies we hate.
“…Yep.”
>Sometimes, I wish-
“I agree.”
>…
“…”
>…What’re the odds we could slip back through and destroy the portal behind us before anyone notices?
“None.”
>Damn.
>>27377291
>19
>ponies we hate.
>destroy the portal
So you finally decided show your face, 18's evil twin sister, Changeling 19! We are onto your moustache-twirling villainy!
>>27377519
She's converting Cadence too!
All is lost!
>>27377519
>>27377575
Cadence...? Oh no! You guys! She's trying to reach Two to harness the power of Cute, thuS preventing her from curing Sunset and Chitty of their villainy!
WE. HAVE. TO. STOP HER.
>Spitfire
“2”
‘???’
~???~
~~~
>I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMOOOORRRRREEEE!
“It’s just builder blocks.”
>I CAN’T TAKE ANYMORE TOYS! OR CRAZY STUFF! OR CHILD LOGIC! NONE OF IT! I UNDERSTAND NONE OF THIS! I NEED HELP! I NEED SOMEONE TO COME SAVE ME! SAVE MEEEEEE!
FWOOSH!
‘I am taking the little one. We are going to play Candyland.’
“YAY! CANDYLAND WITH FORTY TWO!”
‘Goodbye.’
FWOOSH!
>…ahah…ahahahah…AHAHHAH! AHHHHAHAhAH! I’M FREE! I’M FREE! I’M FREEEEEEEEEEEAHAHAHAHAH!
~AHHHHHHHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!~
>…
~Oh, are we done laughing?~
>…
~Where did BlueTwo go?~
>…Uh buuhhhh…
>>27378000
How cute.
She thought she could escape.
>PJ
“???”
‘Blueblood’
~Haymaker~
~~~
>MMFFFMM!
“Say you’re sorry!”
>MMMFFMMMM!
“Say it! I wanna hear you’re sorry!”
>MMFMFMFMMMM!
“It’s not gonna stop until you do!”
>MFFUUU! MFUUUUUUUU!
“Alright, if that’s how you want to be… TICKLE TICKLE TICKLE TICKLEEEEE!”
>MMMFFFMFMMMMMMMMGHHHMHMHHHMHMHMHMHM!
‘Should we be watching this?’
~I agree… I feel like I should be paying for this, this is some quality entertainment.~
‘I suppose it’s a good thing our shared friend learned the dangers of angering a spiderling.’
~All the swords in the world can’t help without the momentum to push them forwards.~
‘…What do you suppose that web is made of?’
~I don’t question stuff like that.~
‘Smart stallion.’
~I have my moments..~
“Apologize!”
>MMMFMMMMMMMM!
>>27378354
Silly PJ. That's still Sciddys daughter you're fucking with.
>29
“MM”
‘Zecora’
(Trixie)
~~
>…It says something that they didn’t even notice we were gone, doesn’t it?
“Yep.”
‘I live in the brush, so this is not odd to me. That said, the unfortunate implications I do see.’
(YOU WOULD MISS THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE IF SHE WAS GONE!)
>Just like they would miss mine quick and able wit!]
“And my wonderful mayoral skills!”
‘And my potions so fine. Without it you would whine!’
>We’re important!
“…”
‘…’
(…)
>Go back to my place and cry?
“Yes.”
‘Yes.’
(HRMPH!)
>The yesses have it.
>42
“13”
‘2’
~~~
“HOW!?”
>Do not question it.
“No no, this needs explanation, how did you do that?”
‘I dunno.’
“You don’t know!?”
>She doesn’t know.
“How does she not know!?”
‘I dunno what I don’t know, it ain’t complicated.’
“This is very complicated! How did you-“
>Thirteen?
“WHAT!?”
>Don’t question it.
“…”
‘Boy, she sure is silly, ain’t she mister candy man?’
WINK!
“HOW DO YOU MAKE A BOARDGAME WINK BACK AT YOU!?”
‘…I dunno.’
“GAHHHHH!... This is the best time of my life.”
>That’s the gist of it.
>>27379030
Ah. So it isn't Maney's powers, she can just do that.
I am afraid.
>>27379197
SWEET FUCK
TWO IS MATILDA!
>Celestia
“SA”
‘AJ’
~Chrysalis~
~~~~
Seconds after the orange mare had finished, there was silence, staring, and the deathly quiet of information slowly worming itself into the minds of all who were present. Those that had known watched in rapt attention as their favored white pony of choice slowly processed what had been told, waiting to see the reaction in both impatience, and fear.
>…You’ve got-
“To be-“
>”KIDDING ME!”
That, in all it’s perfectly synchronized form, seemed to sum it up.
‘Bout the long and short it.’
~For the record, I only wanted to see Celly’s reaction, and feel bad for Shiny. Shiny, you totally ruined this for me, this was my moment.~
The pair had long since come to terms with the Queen and moved on as swiftly as they had began.
>…Dive into cake to calm down?
“Done.”
The splatter covered the room.
‘Real mature!’
>>27379264
At least they didn't dive in the bathtub.
That would have been a challenge to explain.
>>27379395
It's a shame they didn't dive underneath the blankets and cuddle for support.
>>27379497
>Cuddling in front of AJ
You fool! That will only make her angrier!
>>27379515
>Not locking the door
Shiny you mook
>>27377519
>It's the only changeling who literally has a mustache
>Nobody notices
>Sweet Note
"???"
~~~
>...So this is it.
When she had escaped the dreams that had kept the throbbing in her head at bay, she had found pretty much what she expected. A bed beneath her, some doohickeys hooked up to her to monitor whatever it is they looked for, bandages on her head, and her hooves chained to metal bars to ward off any errant thoughts of escape.
Not that she was feeling able to do anything like that anyway.
>You knew it was gonna happen someday, Sugar Bean, you got this.
Her legs were like jello, her head was like fire, and that was the end of it. She simply did not feel she could move anymore, and when they found her awake, they would come to her, and she was all too aware what came next.
>Just... like ya' practiced, keep your mouth shut, don't let them see you hurt, don't let them get anything out of you. Take your lumps and don't sell out anyone who's gonna be waiting whe... if you get out. You got this, you've practiced a hundred times.
She had never been in this situation before, truthfully. She had almost been caught more times than she could count, but she had always slipped away, always gotten clear of the guard. The others, she had a hard time with, but the guard didn't care and weren't paid enough to catch her if she ran.
That wouldn't save her this time.
>You knew it wasn't gonna be forever, just accept it, and stay quiet.
It was hard, if not impossible, to keep the memories of her wonderful, happy time in Canterlot from coming back. The stares and the glares all had become background noise as she got to sample food she had never dreamed she would ever even get to smell, let alone taste. She had gotten to see things, and do things, she had never even dreamed of.
She remembered being happy.
>You knew it was gonna happen, you knew you were gonna get got, stop worryin' about it... it's your turn in the clink, just go in with some pride.
It would've been easier if she hadn't.
1/3
